Survivor Cagayan – S28E8

survivorlogosurcast22Welcome back castaways… 9 down, 8 to go. Last week, Morgan was sent to the jury. Point of interest or not, she was shown arriving at the ‘ponderosa’ (where they sequester the jury) to join Sarah, where the two of them had their girl time bashing the bitter old woman, Kass. Remember what I said a couple weeks ago awaits these two later in their lives.. Tony also received a lot of votes to go home.. Back at camp, he’s a bit bitter about that. Doing a lot of crying that his game isn’t as secure as he once thought it was. Maybe it’s just my memory but I don’t think he’s received any votes in the past. Oh yes, Spencer… I thought he had found the special power idol but apparently not. Just one of the other (2) idols that has been played and put back in the game.In case you forgot, both LJ and Tony played those idols in the same night to protect each other and none of them received any votes that night. Spencer had won individual immunity at the challenge but didn’t need it. Tony has it in his head that Woo has an idol he’s sitting on.. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know. Anyway, the next day Tony the big he man cop, I mean Construction worker, is still crying about his name being written down. Says it happens every council… Do I need to post the voting histories? First, your actual tribe, Brawn, never even Saw a council. Your tribe came with you during the remix and you still weren’t at council but once, I think and that one saw Cliff leave with LJ getting the rest of the votes AND AND, you voted against your ‘blueblood badge alliance’ to get rid of Sarah. While we’re at that one, let’s not forget everybody’s lapdog, Spencer (apologies to all dogs out there), who barked at Kass that she had 0 chance of winning after flipping. Do you know what that tells me? Spencer plans on being part of the jury. You, Tony, have been voted against once in this game so cut your fucking shit you bald whining baby. Give the guy a diaper because he said he crapped himself when he saw his name had been written down. I am going to bust this guy’s balls the rest of the time he’s on the show but I’ll give him one thing, he’s playing to win. I don’t know what the hell some of these other morons are doing. It always appears to me that these asshats on these games, play to push someone else forward. 

Okay, now that I’m done with that.. The following morning, Tony and LJ are walking along, I assume collecting water or something. Tony has decided that the two of them are the alpha males here and one of them has got to go. In order for Tony’s plan to work, he has to be able to pin it on someone else. He chose Woo.. What plan? To blind side LJ.. He’s spooked and has his panties in a wad about seeing his name written down so many times during the tribal vote. As Trish and LJ put it  a bit later, Tony is scrambling so much, he may come unglued. Woo is off in his own little world thinking he’s tight with Tony, as does LJ. Foolish children. All through this episode we keep hearing about this core 6, and those other people.

s3Okay… Tree mail gives them the hint that they will be playing for some relaxation and special treatment. The cast summizes it’s spa day at Survivor. That’s exacltly what it is, for 3 of them. The group is split in to 3 teams of 3.

Teams are, Green – Jeremiah, Spencer, and Tony. Purple – Kass, Tasha, and Woo. Yellow – LJ, Trish, and Jefra.  The object here is to throw a sandbag tied to a rope into a basketball type hoop, using it to release a pile of 20 more sandbags. Then s1one person has to throw the sandbags through a box shaped net tunnel. Once all 20 are into or actually all the way through the tunnel, they all work together to get the remaining bags the rest of the way through the net by bouncing them along. Once all 20 are out of the tunnel, one member then has to start one at a time, bouncing the sandbags off of a trampoline, into one of those 5 baskets at the bottom of the picture. First one to land all 5, wins the challenge. I am not going to get into a play by play here, Green team wins.

I’ll back up a little bit here. Before the challenge and while he was having his cry session about being voted for, TH Tony said that these reward challenges were an opportunity to form those special bonds with other player, whoever happens to be on the ‘winning team’.. His plan is to blindside LJ because he believes that’s one who can beat him. LJ by the way, trusts Tony and their ‘alliance’ one hundred percent. Foolish boy… Okay, the three of them head off to get showered, pampered, and filled (bellies). Tony plans on talking to Spencer and Jeremiah about voting out LJ.. Shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish with a pair of ass kissers like those two. Spencer’s lips locked to the butt of whoever he thinks is in front, Jeremiah’s to Jefra’s though that hasn’t really come into play yet. That isn’t exactly what is said but, that’s where I see this going. In actuality, Spencer says he’s team Jeremiah but he’s worried about his position in the game and will kiss whatever ass needed to make sure he stays. While the challenge winners are at their s4reward LJ, Jefra, and Trish are spilling together that Tony is shady.. Duh… Trish tells the two of them that Tony is buring the candle from the middle out and wants to get rid of LJ and is trying to use Woo to do it.. Trying to convince everyone that all the bad on their core 6 is. At least that is what has been kind of going on all episode with this guy. The other two asshats at this reward (yes, I know I’m jumping around a bit here) Let Tony think they are completely behind him in getting rid of LJ. Bottom line is no one can trust anyone here. Spencer says he doesn’t trust Tony.. Says he’s juggling a lot of balls and he’s just one of them. I still think he’s an ass kisser though. Also meanwhile, Tasha is sensing her spot in the game is not very solid. She approaches LJ about having a private strategy convo. He kind of agrees but when she is at the predetermined meeting place, LJ stands her up. He’s team Tony instead of team LJ.. Tasha says that if LJ was man enough to make a big move, together with her, Spencer, Jeremiah, and Jefra, and blindside Tony.. Let’s get to the immunity challenge…

s2Treemail says stuff about colors and stuff. What they are doing is memorizing sequences of colors that Probst calls out and repeating that in the form of stacking colored tiles one at a time. This will go as many rounds as needed until one person is left and that one will win immunity. It could be just me but I really wish Probst would STFU during these types of challenges. Just say when to make a move and get your mouth out of the way so they can do it. Trish is out with the second tile, Woo is out s5with the third.. Their memories failed them. No one else gets knocked out in round one. Next round they are 6 of 7 tiles in before Spencer, Kass, Jeremiah, and Jefra get knocked out.. On the 7th one all 3 remaining players choose a different color. Tony is out. LJ believes he has it right. Nice try LJ, it is Tasha who wins immunity.. Somehow I’ve never shaken the feeling that if she watches, the NY Countless is completely jonesing for this Survivor neckwear.. No worries says LJ, just split the vote between Spencer and Jeremiah..

Back at camp, Tasha is (in TH) saying she knew she had a one third chance of being voted out. Honestly I don’t think she was ever on anyone’s radar for that night but she’s happy she’s assured of sticking around for a few more days.. LJ hould have taken that meeting with Tasha but he’s now pushing this split vote idea.. Tony thinks Woo has an idol and no one knows that Spencer does but that’s the only reason to split a vote like that. Tony is still playing the throw Woo under the bus angle, trying to guarantee everyone that Woo has an idol. LJ says this 6 had a plan, that  Woo is a part of, and they all pinky swore on it and everything..

Tony starts working the camp to do it to LJ before LJ can do it to him. He approaches, Woo, tells him that LJ is shady and wanted to blindside him. See what’s happening here? The cop, sorry, carpenter, is throwing all of his own wretchedness on LJ trying to convince the others that LJ cannot be trusted. Woo trusts Tony one hundred percent.. I was once told that you will never find the devil in the places you think you might. Strip clubs, casinos, other places of sin. You will find the devil on the front row of church trying to burn someone else.. In this game, meet Tony, the Survivor Devil… He approaches Spencer next who is completely stoked that Tony is now targeting LJ and feeds him the same line of bull he’s feeding the others. Spencer and Jeremiah then have a little convo, bump chests and fists, LJ is now their target too. Trish is next. She’s either very smart, or very stupid. I vote for the latter. He asks her what happened while they were at the reward and she tells him that LJ is concerned about Tony wanting to vote out Woo.. Trish and Kass have a moment.. I don’t know when Kass became part of this 6, perhaps when she switched. Kass is all for keeping things they way they are and going with LJ and the split vote.. Trish isn’t sure what to do.. I think her brain may be waterlogged. Tony knows it could be dangerous for him to make a big move at this point but you either have to kiss ass or kick ass. He says that at council, he may have to kiss ass. Let’s get to it..

Tribal council

You all know the drill.. They go to tribal, the jury that consists of Sarah and Morgan, in, and the Probsting begins. He starts in with Jeremiah and how he, Spencer, and Tasha are all in trouble with the other 6. To Kass, she’s a big reason we find ourselves here with this current split and he asks if there’s any empathy from her about that.. She says you can’t play this game and not get dirty.. I’ll note that the two bitches on the jury bench are rolling their eyes at this point. I want to put my right hand on Morgan’s left ear and my left hand on Sarah’s right ear, and slam Morgan’s right ear into Sarah’s left ear. You both got outplayed, get over it.  Probst asks Tony if he agrees with the dirty hands notion. Yes he does. They come to the game knowing they’re likely to get stabbed in the back at some point and that’s why he has his bag of tricks with him that night, implying he may have an idol. Probst wants to know what’s in that bag of tricks, Tony says may find out tonight but it’s something that could make him feel more secure. To Tasha, it must be a little comforting to hear that Tony needs his bag of tricks when he’s part of this tight 6.. She’s seeing cracks forming. To LJ, what could it mean that Tasha is so confident on top of the fact that she has that immunity necklace.. LJ says she’s getting a reality check about seeing nonexistant cracks in his alliance. LJ believes he has a very good eye for spotting loyalty and believes in his 6.. To Tony, what line of work. He repeats the lie about being in construction (he could be in off time). Sarah nearly fell off the bench with that lie. He says trust is very important, someone may steel your tools if they can’t be trusted.. To Kass, does loyalty play a part in the game for her… She says yes but, she checked her life at the door.. In other words, she trusts no one to push her ahead in the game.. I’ll note the rolling eyeballs from the two beeshes on the jury bench once again. Okay, Everyone knows this Brady Bunch super 6 is going to break apart, the question is when.. Soon. Let’s vote. They vote, Probst puts them in order for the read, polls for the idol, not played, votes read.

Yep, LJ is the third member of the jury.. I guess he feels a bit stupid right now pounding his gums about how well he can read people and their loyalty.. Especially since he was talking about a Survivor Alliance.

surresult

See you next week – MTH

 

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Posted in Survivor | 172 Comments

The Real Housewives of New York City – Unhappy Anniversary

RHONY S6 castBy Empressofaiken

Ramona’s back from Africa and she’s just full of stories about lions having quickies.   She and the group are at another charity event featuring jewelry designed by a friend of Heather’s.  Sonja is running late and Aviva isn’t there – also by design.   Heather begins to fill Ramona in on all of the Aviva/Carole drama and Ramona, who has found inner peace during her trip, wants Heather to meet with Aviva to see if the two can mend their very broken fences.  Heather isn’t so sure that anything good will come from a meeting and she really doesn’t want Aviva at her 10th anniversary party, and who could blame her?  She had originally invited Aviva, then uninvited her.   LuAnn is in attendance, wearing another set of coasters on her ears and is still keeping company with Jacques.  She’s shocked by  Ramona’s tale of the king of the jungle’s sexual activities and wants us to know that what happens in Africa should stay in Africa.  From what’s about to happen, maybe Ramona should have stayed in Africa.

Ramona, Sonja and Aviva are shopping at The Container Store and now it’s Aviva’s turn to argue her side of the story to Ramona.  Ramona, still channeling the Dalai Lama, tells Aviva that she should talk with Heather one on one.  Heather is holding a Yummie Tummie photo shoot with Kristen modeling leggings when Ramona calls. Ramona still thinks Heather should get together with Aviva and puts the conversation on speaker so that Aviva can pipe in when necessary.  The two own finally agree to speak, probably so Ramona will stop interfering.  They don’t know the depths of Ramona’s type of interference.

Ep 6: Unhappy Anniversary

Heather meets with Aviva and it goes pretty much as we expected it would.  Aviva starts rattling off everything anyone has ever called her and a few things she just made up for good measure.  She also repeats that Carole and Heather “verbally raped her” and adds “she took it up the butt.”   Where does she come up with this stuff?  It wasn’t that good the first time, so there really isn’t any reason to repeat it, other than for Aviva to continue her role as victim.   She also tells Heather she’s “deeply, deeply hurt”  and asks Heather if she has any idea why.  Aviva asks this over and over “Do you know why?”  “Well, do you?”  “Do you want to know?”, “Do you?” – until Heather finally tells her she’s being dramatic, to get a job and calls her Miss Vassar.  Aviva, in her talking head, points out the “stay at home mom” jab, hoping none of us remember that she has called Carole old, and insinuated that the writer is an outcast among the Kennedy clan.  I guess those comments don’t count and anyway – so what, Aviva?  Heather says that she doesn’t really like Aviva all that much and asks her if she gives a shit about her.  Aviva says she does.  Heather then says she was outraged about the comments Aviva made about Carole.  Aviva then asks Heather is she and Carole are lovers.  What is this woman talking about?  This sounded a lot like Kelly Bensimon asking Bethenny and Ramona if they were going to make out, tongues and all, on Scary Island.  She wants Heather to understand that Carole’s book is like having babies, or something, and says that Carole’s comments were akin to asking a new mother if she’d had natural childbirth or a Cesarean.  My right eye is starting to twitch.  Some sort of loose truce is brokered between them and Aviva asks Heather if she’ll help to mend things for her with Carole.  Heather tells Aviva she can come to the anniversary party.

A couple of scenes gave us a tiny break from all of the fighting, until more fighting started.  The first was with Carole, Kristen and Jonathan, Heather’s husband.  The three of them met to sample caviar because as Jonathan tells it, “Caviar is foreplay for Heather.”   They also share a little naughty talk about threesomes and pick out what they hope is the perfect caviar for Heather.  Ramona also had a few moments to lament the fact that her daughter is going off to college.  She tells Avery that she should have a job and Avery says that she wants to work for her father’s business because she’d rather spend more time with him. Ramona looked a little hurt to hear that.  The other scene was one we probably could have done without and caused my left eye to start twitching.   Brandi and Yolanda met with Kristen and Carole to have lunch and talk about sex.  Brandi tells a story about Kristen’s bachelorette party in Las Vegas and a kiss between Kristen and an Elvis impersonator.  Things that happen in Vegas don’t stay in Vegas if Brandi has anything to say about it.  Brandi wants to know about Carole and George Clooney, and Carole laughs it off, saying that they dated during the Eisenhower administration.  When Kristen says that she and her husband aren’t having a lot of sex these days, Carole, in her talking head, says that Kristen should practice blowing, because it’s all men really want, anyway.  With a shrug and an eye-roll,  she says “They don’t call it a job for nothin”.   If Bravo wants to do anymore franchise crossovers, then I hope they send Brandi to Atlanta, specifically to Kenya’s house.

Ramona and Sonja drop by Aviva’s apartment so they can get their stories straight about their true feelings regarding Heather talk about the strides Aviva has made with Heather.   Aviva announces that she got a text from Heather, uninviting her from the anniversary party, signing off with her signature “Holla!”   Ramona and Sonja are shocked, shocked, shocked by how mean Heather is being to Aviva, so they decide, then and there, to boycott the party as a sign of solidarity with Aviva.  If they can get over being called white trash or compared to Anna Nicole Smith, then Heather has a lot of nerve not being as forgiving as they are.

It’s the night of Heather’s party and most of the guests have arrived, including LuAnn and Jacques.  LuAnn is  licking her paws and smoothing her fur, just waiting for the opportunity beside herself with the burden of having to deliver the news of the boycott.   Kristen and Josh are walking toward the gathering and arguing over how late they, well how late he is.  She says that they don’t communicate and he responds that if not communicating is their biggest problem then they’re fine.   He doesn’t seem to be able to grasp that communicating is the most important thing in a marriage, but he seems to live in his own world, by his own rules.   Once everyone is in place and the party has been going on for an hour and a half, LuAnn makes the big boycott announcement.  Ramona and Sonja didn’t bother to tell Heather they weren’t coming, they just didn’t show up.   Heather is understandably upset, then tells the group that the people she wants there, are there.  She also tells them that Ramona is a shit-stirrer, the “Singer Stinger.”   Yes, Heather was right when she said that if she had done that to Ramona, there’d be hell to pay.  The battle lines are drawn – alliances have been formed.  Another group of Housewives are at war.

Heather’s husband gave her a tote bag filled with cans of caviar, which she loved.  She toasted him, proclaimed her love for him and danced the night away.  Amanda was nowhere to be seen – that’s good news, right?

This is a poem Carole wrote for Heather, at Jonathan’s request,  and was read at the 10th anniversary party.  We never heard it because that scene ended up on the cutting room floor.

Ten Years
You’re Super-wife to Jon,
and Yummie Mummie to Ella and Jax,
A friend to wayward Mermaid Queens,
An upstate girl, with big city dreams.

You can roll tough with Puffy, and still giggle with the girls.
Ride motorbikes in denim, or rock a black dress and pearls.
You always do what is right, and not just what’s popular.
You tell people your mind, without judgment or gossip-er.
You’re serious in business, yet playful in life.
Met Jon on a beach, now you’re husband and wife.

Like the Eagle and the Hummingbird,
the Lion and Lamb,
the Athlete and the Spectator,
Or Peanut butter, and jam
I draw from your strengths.
For our differences I give thanks
But also, for your cheshire cat smile
and those three-paneled tanks.

Cheers to your wonderful husband,
and your beautiful marriage,
and to our vodka-fueled cherry bombs.
and a friendship I chair-ish.

Empress

__________________________________________________

Thank you Eperess

 

 

Posted in Real Housewives of New York | 176 Comments

Real Housewives of Orange County – Real Housewives of New York – Dancing With The Stars

 

Real Housewives Of Orange County

S9E1 “Hawaii 5 Uh-Oh”

by Stars99

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

New Season… New Taglines:

Tamra: “I’m not getting older… I’m just getting bolder.”  [Actually Tamra, you ARE getting older… We all are…]

Vicki: “I make my own rules… But don’t expect me to follow yours.”[We’ll see in this episode how you don’t even follow the law…]

Lizzie: “Standing out… Is much more fun than fitting in.”  [We don’t see Lizzie in this episode at all – So we’ll not talk about her until we do see her.  The previews seem to indicate she seems to LOVE to stand out in a crowd which is sure to rub Vicki and Tamra the wrong way…lol]

Shannon: “The OC is full of secrets… But I have nothing to hide.”  [Ummm… Perhaps you should use some discretion on disclosing your ummm… unique perspectives on national TV because I’m afraid your kids are gonna really, really get teased…]

Heather: “You may think I have it all…But I’m just getting started.”  [When did any of us think that Heather “had it all?”  I never did… I just thought she had a nice house…]

The opening scene is of Heather on her way to meet her architect and her builder of their new home. [Remember they sold their former house at the end of last season because they got an offer they couldn’t refuse…]  They have a new piece of property and it’s only going to take 2 short years to build their new dream house – So they are forced, FORCED I tell you… To slum it up by living on a [gasp] Orange County cul-de-sac. Oh, the horror of it all!

They are currently living in a perfect long-term rental house that admittedly could fit in their previous house’s garage – but everyone seems happy about their new surroundings.  Well, except for Terry. Terry does not like coming home to all the kids playing outside on said ghetto cul-de-sac… The small house has made for way too much togetherness time for him. It seems that Terry would much prefer to come home to a house where you “Skype” when you want up-close, personal, quality time with your family.

Heather looks at the plans for their new home and notes that Max wants a Scooby-Doo door in his room which Heather explains is a kind of like a hidden door… As a Scooby-Doo fan, I must say that Max gets big marks for this… Although there are arguably better literary references to a secret door… or a secret wardrobe… or a secret garden… but I stand by my friend Max and his Scooby-Doo reference. I may even have to somehow work in the words “pesky” and “Rut Roh” into this recap in honor of the reference. The builder and architect show Heather a mock-up of their new Taj Mahal…errr… home… This “home” [and I do use the word loosely] comes complete with an infinity pool and beauty salon…[Insert gratuitous eye roll here]… Perhaps I can vacation in their garage.

Tamra’s opening scene is at, yes, you guessed it – CUT Fitness (www.cutfitoc.com). I posted this link because last season I gave them a lot of grief about their website. I was very excited to look to see if they’ve improved it. Upon clicking it, we are treated to a banner that says, “Thank you for visiting. Please note, our website is currently under construction. Please visit us next week to see what we have created for you.” Really? Are you freaking kidding me?  You’ve known this season’s premiere date for months and you couldn’t have ensured that your website would be fully operational by now?  Whoa… That’s just all kinds of messed up.

We learn they’ve been open for 9 months and they’re already breaking even – Which is very good for a new business.  This fitness studio has become Tamra’s life 7 days a week.  It’s very stressful.  She starts her day at 4:45 AM.  She didn’t realize it was going to be so much work and that it would be so danged expensive. However, Eddie has never been happier.  And then because Tamra has absolutely no idea how to appropriately market their new business venture, she tells us that when Eddie teaches classes that he gets a “creepy” Barry White like kind of voice. Yes, because we all want to rush out to train with the guy with a creepy voice.

To be fair, Tamra also says that all the girls at the studio love him. This sets off Tamra’s insecurities because Eddie is 5 years younger than she is and ever since Tamra turned 40 it’s been harder and harder for her to keep in shape.  Tamra says, “Getting older sucks balls… sucks sweaty balls.”  Somehow this reminds me of a certain SNL “Schweddy Ball” skit… but I digress…

Let’s check in with Vicki, shall we?  Evidently Briana moved out of the house 6 months ago so Vicki’s big pristine house has become very lonely. However, Vicki has an employee named “David” who spends a couple of nights a week there and will housesit whenever she needs it.  She likes him around because he’s neat, clean and there’s no drama. Vicki tells us that Brooks has been very remorseful and wants her to forgive him… Vicki’s not sure what she’s doing and refers to herself as being “under construction.” Quick, grab a hard hat cuz crap is bound to fall!

The next scene has Tamra jogging up a hill with Heather. The main point of this whole scene seems to be to bash the recently-fired Gretchen. It seems like neither has seen nor spoken to Gretchen since last season. Tamra makes sure to tell us that she didn’t receive a wedding gift from Gretchen. How very kind of her. I don’t know that I would give Tamra a wedding gift either after the way Gretchen was treated. Then Tamra, because she’s just such a class act, raises a hammer and pounds the last nail on the Gretchen friendship coffin by saying Gretchen is, “A narcissistic, compulsive liar that is basically dead to me.”  Way to kick your former friend when she’s down, Tamra!

Hawaii-1Heather tells Tamra that she got a role on the television show “Hawaii 5-0.”  Heather is going to play a girlfriend of a killer. I actually saw this episode when it aired – and I think maybe she had 1 or 2 lines but that’s about it. Heather gushes about how her role last year on “Hot in Cleveland” opened a lot of doors for her.  I looked at her IMDB bio, and right now Heather is more like, “Tepid in Toledo” because there are no additional roles in the offing – at least right now. Heather invites Tamra to travel to Hawaii with her and Tamra suggests bringing Vicki along as well. Tamra confides that Vicki’s divorce was finalized last week. Heather is excited about all of them going on this mini-trip. Heather tells us in her talking head that when she’s one-on-one with Tamra or one-on-one with Vicki that they have a great relationship. But when the 3 of them are together that Heather often feels like the odd man out.  It’s mildly amusing that neither of the 2 new girls on the block were invited along… Very interesting…

Vicki visits Briana at Briana’s apartment.  Troy is getting so big now – and we find out that Briana is pregnant with their 2nd baby!  Vicki describes her relationship with Briana as being “rock solid” as long as they don’t talk about Brooks. Vicki thinks Brooks was wrongfully accused by Briana and she feels that a lot of the things that Briana said were not the truth. Vicki finally listened to “the tape” [You know, the one when Brooks was allegedly really drunk and told Ryan to do stuff to Briana to get her in line, or something like that…].  Vicki was disgusted by the tape but quickly excuses it by basically saying that we all say things we wish we didn’t say… Ryan and Briana have orders to move to Oklahoma and Briana is looking forward to a fresh start. Briana feels that her family life with her mom is such a mess that this move might actually be good for everyone involved. Ryan has 9 more years in the military… Vicki is so not happy about this move. Who could blame her? Briana is moving her grandbaby(ies) away.

In this week’s “I Kid You Not” segment, Vicki says that, “Oklahoma is an invisible state… Nobody ever talks about Oklahoma. I think it’s a forgotten state.” Rut roh… I can feel the entire state of Oklahoma begin to rumble in protest…lol.  Vicki says she’s never been to Oklahoma nor does she know anyone from there. Heck, Vicki doesn’t even know what kind of food they eat in that far off mystical place called, “Oklahoma.”

Oh come the heck on, Vicki… Oklahoma has an entire Rodgers and Hammerstein musical named after it… From the musical “Oklahoma” we learned they can grow corn as high as an elephant’s eye… They have surreys with fringe on the top… There’s always a bright golden haze on the meadow… Guys shouldn’t sigh and gaze too much cuz people will say we’re in love… And that there are girls that live there that just can’t say, “No” who are in a turrible fix! And then, because her mind couldn’t just stay on 1 musical, Stars99 starts to inexplicably sing, “I’ve never been to heaven, but I’ve been to Oklahoma…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm6qw_yeo6o. See, now I named 2 song references about Oklahoma without even breathing hard… Surely Vicki knows SOMETHING about Oklahoma, no?

In an effort to acquaint Vicki with some people who were either born in Oklahoma or spent a lot of their lives there, I offer the following partial list:  Blake Shelton, Reba McEntire, Walter Cronkite, Carrie Underwood, Brad Pitt, Ron Howard, Gary Busey, Kristin Chenoweth, Joan Crawford, Blake Edwards, James Garner, Rue McClanahan, Megan Mullally, Lee Pace (born 1979), actor, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Yes, that was for you, dragon girl because I know the importance of dragons…lol), Tony Randall, Wanda Jackson, Garth Brooks, David Gates, Vince Gill, Woody Guthrie, Toby Keith, B. J. Thomas, Kathy Lee Gifford, Mary Hart, and Phil McGraw to name a few.

Robert (Builder of Heather’s new house) has been taking Heather to see various homes that he’s previously built so she can check out some unique styles and finishes that she might want him to build into her new house. Robert introduces Heather to new Real Housewife Shannon. May I just say that Shannon has an awesome house!

Shannon -2They take a tour of Shannon’s home.  Shannon and Heather have a bonding moment over a bathroom that’s made from “Calcutta Borghini material” that’s very, very rare. Shannon points out an unwanted rust colored line that runs through the marbling. Evidently, Shannon pitched a fit about it and was starting to tell the story about how the workers went back into the mountain in Italy to get a different part of it… but not to be outdone by a mere peasant, Her Royal Heathership interrupted Shannon with her own story. With a wave of her scepter, Her Royal Heathership dismissed the uniqueness of Shannon’s bathroom by stating that it’s very similar to what she already has in their own house and that Terry looks at the marbling as just being a gigantic Rorschach test.

Somehow during all of this bathroom talk they start talking about their kids.  Remember Heather has Nicholas and Maximillia (10 year-old twins), Katarina (7), and Collette (3). Shannon has 3 daughters: Sophie (12), and Stella and Adeline (9 year old twins).  Heather and Shannon figure out their kids were in school together and that Heather was the “Room Mom” the year before Shannon was the “Room Mom.”

Shannon tells Heather that she had a baby nurse when the twins were born who noticed the twins didn’t really want to be together. The baby nurse had never seen anything like that before and so Shannon freaked out and had a DNA test run on her children to make sure they were hers.  Shannon acknowledges she is kind of wacky.

The tour of Shannon’s house continues with the group going into a kid’s room. When you press a very normal-looking bookcase at a specific place – You push through and it opens up into a whole different wonderful room!  How awesome is that? What a great way to keep out pesky little intruders! What a great house! Oh, did I mention that Shannon also has a basketball court in their subterranean garage?  But really, doesn’t everyone? Lol… Shannon admits that her traditional style of decorating is a little grandma-ish but insists that they are a really down to earth family… With an indoor basketball court in their house. Yep, yep, yep…

Green requirementsShannon tells Heather that when they were building that she was obsessed with making the entire house “green.” No, they didn’t paint it green, because ya know, it ain’t easy being green, but instead they hired a “green consultant.” Among other things, Shannon made sure there were no toxic paint finishes… no fiberglass in the insulation… and nothing wireless in their house because it produces electromagnetic radiation. In her talking head, Her Royal Heathership wonders if Shannon’s blonde hair color is, “Organic.”

Since Heather’s already in Honolulu filming “Hawaii 5-0,” Vicki and Tamra fly together to meet Heather after her gig… As they get onto the plane the flight attendants give them each leis… and Vicki in a deep, sexy voice says, “I love getting lei’d before 10:00 AM”… The entire world rolls its eyes.  Vicki and Tamra decide they want to corrupt “Fancypants” Heather by getting her drunk so they can see who Heather really is.  Tamra wants to get Heather so drunk that she’ll dance on a table. This is the same woman who a few seasons ago wanted to get Gretchen “naked wasted” drunk. Tamra is such a nice friend. She sure has changed, no? No more Ms. Nice Tamra from last season who wants us to watch her bridal spinoff series…

We learn more about Shannon – She was born in Los Angeles, attended USC and now lives in Orange County.  Her mother’s father was president of I. Magnin, which was a California-based high fashion, luxury department store.  She’s been married for 13 years to David who is a freeway contractor who built his business from the ground up. Shannon got pregnant on day 3 of their honeymoon. Shannon wants their kids to be down to earth and not have everything handed to them on a silver platter.  She tells one of the twins that she needed to google “minimum wage.”  So instead, the child goes to her own walking talking google of a big sister and asks her about minimum wage. Smart girl.

It’s clear that there is marital trouble in the land of Shannon and David. I suppose it’s too late to tell them to run away from being on a reality show when you already have marital problems. Shannon seems to be pretty critical of her husband, who comes home very hungry and wants a snack before dinner. He works in construction – It’s hard work. Of course he’s hungry. Shannon gripes about him eating a snack before dinner every single day. Shannon just wants to know every so often that her husband wants to spend time with her. She then yips at him about how he puts all the utensils in backwards. Gosh, what husband wouldn’t want to spend time with this wonderful, uplifting person?

During dinner, Sophie, the 12 year old complained that she didn’t have a cell phone. Shannon explained that she barely had a telephone when she was her age. But the kids explained, that was before there was technology…lol. Shannon believes that when you put a cell phone to your head that you’re radiating your brain. The family doesn’t like their dinner and Shannon is asked if it’s organic chicken? Evidently, this organic chicken was too dry. She apologizes to her diners.

Vicki surfTamra and Vicki talk Heather into taking surfing lessons. Heather is terrified of the ocean and will only go in knee deep. She will swim in pools but she’s not fond of drowning events. As they each try to get up on the surfboard, Heather “Fancypants” is the first one up. I didn’t see it, but I’m sure Heather stuck out her tongue at Vicki and Tamra who had been giving her a really hard time. Vicki deduces that Heather must have surfed her whole life but just didn’t tell anyone.  Tamra thinks that if you can’t get up on a surfboard that you’re a complete moron… Or else you’re named “Vicki.” It took Vicki a while, but she did finally get up and surf… But just as Vicki fell off the surfboard, her knee scraped down across some lava rock – which is really, really painful.

The girls rented a Jeep and decided to drive to a famous Hawaiian waterfall. Heather is the last to get to the Jeep and complains she doesn’t get to ride shot gun. Tamra and Vicki groan that Heather is already complaining…lol.. After they’re on the road, Her Royal Heatherness, being the consummate backseat driver that she is – Inquires if Vicki is driving with 2 feet or with 1 foot… lol… The next thing you know, Her Royal Heatherness is instructing Vicki that she’s tailgating and that she needs to leave at least 2 car lengths between herself and the car in front of her.  Because she wasn’t already being purposefully obnoxious enough, Heather asks over and over in her brattiest voice possible, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Vicki inexplicably gets on her cell phone while she’s driving (Which is completely illegal) and Heather yells at her to get off the phone… A few moments later, they almost crash into the car in front of them who had come to a complete stop. Whose idea was it to let Vicki drive?

Jeep-1They stop for lunch and they eat it on a picnic table underneath a tree.  They see people walking by with delicious looking corn and they decide to get some.  Heather gets up and tells the others to continue to sit under, “this very lovely Plumeria tree and I’ll be back.”  Vicki tells Heather that Plumeria is a disease… Heather firmly responds, “No, it’s not… The English language is not your strong suit, Vicki.”  Rut roh… Those are fightin’ words… Somehow, while Heather’s gone, Vicki and Tamra talk about whether or not chlamydia is a disease… Tamra tells Vicki that chlamydia is in fact a disease, but that Heather said, “Plumeria.”  Vicki thinks Heather must have meant to say “Chlamydia” and that the English language IS too her strength. So there!

Can’t we all see the writing on the wall? It’s open season on Heather this year!  In her talking head, Heather tells us that she is not sure, “If Vicki needs to be right or if Vicki needs Heather to be wrong. But at the end of the day it’s a tree.”  Vicki is annoyed because she thinks Heather acts like, “She made the dictionary… She didn’t…”  Vicki says in her talking head that Heather has to be right on absolutely everything and that it’s exhausting… Okay, who volunteers to hold a mirror up to Vicki for her… Pot, meet kettle.

Meanwhile, back in Dana Point, Shannon is at “Energy Medicine Center” seeing Dr. Moon who is (according to Bravo labeling) an “Energy Medicine Specialist” – Shannon calls him an “Energy Medicine Acupuncturist.”  She tells us that Dr. Moon has, “A healing hand.” Shannon is very interested in anything holistic and she wants to take care of things, “the natural way.”  Dr. Moon is in the office every Monday/Wednesday/Friday and Shannon evidently goes to him each of these days, every single week. Whoa… Shannon’s husband thinks they’re paying Dr. Moon’s mortgage. I’m guessing they’re paying for way more than just that.  I honestly was trying to be open to Dr. Moon until he got to the point where he told Shannon that her bellybutton was communicating with the environment… I’m sorry, but now I now have bellybutton envy… I want a bellybutton that talks, dagnabit!

It’s the girl’s last night in Hawaii which means it’s their last chance to get Heather drunk. Heather starts spouting off about stemless wine glasses and about how they’re not really appropriate for drinking wine since some wines should maintain a certain temperature and not be warmed up by your hand. They ordered, “Champs” [Ugh, I know…] but the guy didn’t correctly open up the bottle because it was dripping all over the place.

Vicki is very annoyed with Heather’s criticalness and her complaining all the time about something. The whole conversation about stemware was useless to Vicki. Unless, of course, you remember that she and Tamra had a wine business together for about a split second last season… “Wines by Wives” – but I’ve noticed that Vicki’s picture isn’t on the site anymore…lol.

Heather points out that all 3 of them are going through a transitional period in their lives.  Heather is re-entering her career… Vicki is transitioning into being single again… Tamra is officially becoming a married person and is starting a business… Tamra asks Vicki if she misses wearing a wedding ring… Vicki responds with, “Yes, I love marriage and I love being happy – but right now… I’m just in a good palace right now…” Tamra asks Vicki that if she’s happy right now – Where does Brooks fit in to all of this?  Vicki stammers… “Ummm… ummm… ummm…” and the episode ends…

Oh goodie… It looks like this season we can look forward to:  Vicki woo hooing it up; Everyone goes to Bali (Poor Bali); Vicki seems to like new girl Shannon because she likes to have fun, they’re both “Aries”, and they love to drink; Vicki not being happy with Briana about her move to Oklahoma; Marital trouble with Shannon and David because Shannon doesn’t think David  loves her anymore and he says he can’t live like this anymore; Lizzie, the other new girl that we haven’t seen yet, seems to be kind of a sex kitten which immediately draws the claws are out on the other girls; Eddie doesn’t do well with babies (I think this may have to do with Tamra and Eddie talking about having a baby through adoption or through surrogacy); Tamra tells Heather that she treats others like they are below her (news flash); Heather tells Tamra that “I’m done, please leave” and then you see Tamra walk away (At least, according to Bravo editing…); Shannon tells Heather to stop talking to her in a condescending way; and, Tamra calls Vicki, “A hypocrite who is going to bring everybody else into it instead of just herself.”  Strap on your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

See ya next week!  Happy Trails!

 _________________________

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Real Housewives Of New York S6E5 Cast Blogs

by Ramonacoaster

#NotMyFight: Kristen on Aviva and Carole

Here we go. Right where we left off. Lu’s BBQ. I remember a lot from that night — most of it I wanted to forget. . The one main thing I remember thinking was how great it was for Aviva and Carole to be sitting down face to face on their own. They could hash this whole #BookGate thing out and be done with it once and for all! OHHH NO. . .Amanda was right up in there every time? What the hell was the deal with her, always butting in? Maybe she needed another glass of wine? Harry. Unbelievable.

Maybe Reid shelled out a few dollars to keep Amanda on Aviva’s side during any conflict.  Too bad he didn’t put in a stipulations like you must be coherent and not slurring your words when you attack others on Aviva’s behalf.

Sonja’s Brunch: Only Sonja Morgan could lose a tooth and polident it back with out flinching on TV. You go girl. I had to turn away as she was doing it because it made me sick, but hey, at least she didn’t lose lose the tooth. That would have been an issue.

I felt sorry for Sonja there.  She doesn’t need another thing to fall apart in her life.

Brunch was still very awkward for me with all the fighting going on. Lu and I had a great chat and got to know each other a bit more, so I was happy that I went. Aviva and I had little interaction.

It is best to keep your interaction to a minimum with Aviva.

Mermaid Parade: Carole looked stunning. How fun to be Queen of such an amazing event! It was extra special being in Coney Island this past year because of Hurricane Sandy. There was a lot more than usual to celebrate. The parade almost didn’t happen because of all the issues.

It looked like a lot of fun.  It is too bad we didn’t see more of the parade.

There was some float confusion, but I think we made the better float choice. Sonja was late — of course. She beats to her own drum that one. When she got on the float I asked her what we were supposed to do. She said, “Oh is this your first float?” Yep, first time. . . too funny. Carole was right, it was a great drama-free day with girl friends on the beach. Mermaid sisterhood!

NYC loves to throw a parade.  There is always some sort of celebration whether it is a city or a cultural festival in any borough you visit during the summer.

Luann:  Hard to Argue with a Mouthful of Fruit Tart

This episode has us BBQ-ing, brunching, and parading as Mermaids. . .just a typical Hampton’s weekend, right? I’ve hosted so many wonderful parties in my Hamptons home and I go to many fabulous events during the summer — and I can assure you that this BBQ is not the norm. Most Hamptons BBQs are fun, laid back events where people mix and mingle without all the drama. . .more laughing and definitely less cussing!

And grabbing men’s crotches, right Luann?

Heather was getting really frustrated towards the end of the night because she’d had it with Amanda, who wouldn’t butt out of  Aviva and Carole’s ongoing argument. I don’t think Jonathan could have pulled Heather out of the melee because Heather’s fierce when she’s fired up. I was thinking that it’s hard to argue with a mouthful of fruit tart, but no one seemed interested in my dessert.

And then you can scold them for arguing with their mouth full.

I love Heather, and I respect how much she stands up for her friends — but she went a little overboard in the tough talk with Aviva. I can see why Reid stepped in to defend his wife, because Heather was transitioning from argumentative to aggressive. When Sonja commented that “that bitch is street,” I couldn’t tell if she was complimenting Heather or insulting her! I’ve spent enough time with Heather to know that she’s 90 percent lady and only 10 percent gangsta. Holla!

You gotta let your gangsta self out when there’s a sociopath in the room.

The Real Aviva of New York City?

In my book Leggy Blonde, I wrote (or according to Carole, someone else wrote) after watching Ramona and Sonja being called “white trash”:  God, who is that bitch, that shrieking banshee? I know one thing. It’s not me. It couldn’t be. I don’t speak to people like that. I’m a good person, devoted to family and public service. I try to be sensitive, tolerant, kind, generous, and loving. Did I really just call those women “white trash?” It couldn’t be me.  Except it was. (I go on to explain why, etc. It’s all in the book).

Did she just take a leaf from Jill Z’s book and infer that all answers to life’s mysteries are “in the book?”  I don’t think I’m missing anything by not reading either of their books.

There’s always a bit of trepidation when I watch a RHONY episode. I usually remember what happened, but I also usually come off better in my memories than I do on the screen. For example, in my memory I came off a little better — calmer — when Carole attacked me at my housewarming. I lost it a bit. Ouch. I wish Bravo could just show the version I remember, but I can live with what I actually did.

You would come off better if you didn’t exaggerate what happened when repeating the story to someone else.

So when I like how I come off, I’m a little surprised. And a lot happier. This week’s episode was one of those.

Yes this episode made you look better.  People do sympathize when they hear a story of someone going through something traumatic.  Hope it doesn’t blow up your ego.

In the center ring was Heather, channeling her inner thug and getting all ghetto on Amanda’s ass. Heather, you can talk the talk, drop hip-hop names in every conversation, and bully at the top of your screeching lungs, but that doesn’t make you Da Brat . . . just a brat. Even Carole (“Heather didn’t hang out with P-Diddy for no reason; she’s got street cred, that girl.” What street is that, I wonder.) can’t save you from looking ridiculous. I was proud of myself for just walking away as you called me “motherf—er.” 

Well you did ask her if she learned that word in prison, inferring that she may have gone there.

I try not to get down and dirty with Carole and Heather. It’s tough to restrain myself when I feel provoked. I know I need to work on that. I know I can’t win with them; they’re better at it. I just don’t have the vocabulary. Nor do I have the same joy in fighting. I now wish I’d never asked Carole if she used a ghostwriter or told anyone what people were saying. I don’t really care. And I never thought Carole would be so insecure about the question to cry that her career was being ruined and that she was being slandered and that my asking/telling was illegal. (On the one hand, she calls me “a nothing” and on the other, she claims this “nothing” can damage her career.) Carole is justly proud of her decades in journalism and writing; I feel sorry for her that she doesn’t have the confidence to brush off questions that really don’t matter a damn anyway. “Is this true, Carole?” “No it’s not, Aviva.” “OK. Oops. Sorry.” Done.

Not surprising that Aviva still doesn’t get the impact of her words to Carole.  I mean what sociopath would?  Especially one that accuses people of verbal rape.

I’m not going to dwell on the section that was about my pilgrimage back to where I lost my leg other than to say:

– Thank you to The Real Housewives of New York City. Becky Morgan never would have gotten in touch with me if she hadn’t seen me on the show. And I’m also grateful for once that the RHONY cameras were there to document it. — It was amusing that this moving chapter in my life was intercut with scenes of the Mermaid Parade. From Drag Queens to Mangled Legs and back again. Who says RHONY doesn’t have a sense of humor? — That’s probably the only time you’ll see a Real Housewife of New York City in a barn.

Bravo can’t let the whole episode be about you.  The scene of you on the conveyor belt needs to be lightened up.  What better way than with the rest of ladies dressed up as mermaids on a Drag Queen float.   Both of Carole and Aviva have experienced loss and heartache.  It is interesting how Bravo juxtaposed the two scenes.  You see Carole having fun and enjoying herself while Aviva can’t help but revisit and remember the scene of her accident.

Finally, I assume that Carole simply ran out of room in last week’s foaming-at-the-mouth blog entry, and she just didn’t get around to asking, so I’ll help out. It’s hard to anticipate what’s next, but I like to get out in front of these things, so here it is — my passport — to prove I wasn’t born in Kenya. If that’s not enough to satisfy the Donald Trump of Housewives, next week I’ll supply my birth certificate to prove my original name wasn’t Aviva Hussein Osama Obama Ramalama Ding Dong Ahmed Teichner. And, oh yeah, I’m embarrassed to even have to defend myself on this point, but . . . I am not Sasquatch. Plastic surgery can do a lot (Hello Housewives!); so can amputations and hair coloring, but still, I swear to you, I’m not Bigfoot. And I’m definitely not Bigfeet.

Weird for Aviva to post a pic of her passport pic.  So from what she is saying, someone is going to accuse her of being an alien, a terrorist and a hoax.

Heather: I Would Never Hit Someone

Bye Mindy. Or was it Amanda or maybe better Minion? I just don’t understand why this woman has so many opinions about people she doesn’t even know — but I wish she would stop sharing them because we just don’t care. (She was so annoying that Jon actually thought she might push me too far and stepped in, just in case. But, she didn’t. I kept my cool and I would never hit someone — especially a someone who can’t even stand up straight.)

You didn’t even blink when Sonja announced she just peed in her pants and she didn’t have any panties on just to distract you from going ape on that Mindy image consultant.  I guess it is something you are used to.  Let Mindy eat cake!

Reid has her back, so maybe he can walk his dear friend to her car while his lovely wife Aviva threatens to “Defame me.” Yep, next in line. I actually think the two of them plan this stuff.

You gotta admire a girl that can take on three people on at the same time.  Reid, Aviva and Amanda were all trying to take her on and Heather didn’t back down.

The dictionary definition of defame:

Defame: verb (used with object) [de-famed, de-fam-ing.] 1. to attack the good name or reputation of, as by uttering or publishing maliciously or falsely anything injurious; slander or libel; calumniate: The newspaper editorial defamed the politician. 2. to disgrace; bring dishonor upon. 3. to accuse.

Aviva, the typical elitist, is unwilling to take responsibility for her actions against others. Her character assassinations of the Housewives, her false accusations against Carole, and now her threat to do the same to me (which she follows through on in her blog last week touting me as a knock-off pusher) were first enraging (unfortunately you see just how enraged I am), but now looking back she’s just making pitiful attempts at her own relevance and it’s very sad. Aviva says whatever she needs to in order to garner attention, gain sympathy, and sway people to her side and the truth be damned in her process.

If Aviva doesn’t do those things, she comes off as boring.  Bravo doesn’t want boring.

Carole Thinks This Has Gone F.U.B.A.R.

FUBAR is a term I learned when I was in Afghanistan, covering the war. It’s a military term that was adopted by pop culture, an acronym for “f—ed up beyond all repair.” Watching this episode, beginning with the crazy yelling match at LuAnn’s and ending in a barn, felt strange. The flashbacks as the Dreschers drove upstate were bittersweet. There’s a shot of me glancing out the car window last season worrying about the rooftop bar and Aviva’s fear of heights. There’s also a scene of me meeting Reid for the first time. He was wearing a plaid shirt, if I remember right, and we were laughing about wedding rings. I could never have imagined what was ahead. FUBAR.

Right now I’m on a plane flying back from North Carolina. I was here to speak to a group of people — teachers and local business men and women — who were raising money for an adult literacy program in Greenville. They were all committed to teaching adults about the importance and joy of reading. It was great to visit with them and share my stories.

Sigh. I don’t even know what to write any longer. It’s the same broken record with Vivvy. I’m bored of it and you must be, too. She defamed me, now she says she’s going to defame Heather. She’ll probably start passing poison apples out soon.

Reid is pitching in now, ganging up on me in the Drescher slander/smear campaign, and he’s also implicating Simon & Schuster. I’m surprised he would engage in this at all, I’d think he would know better. I expect Reid to understand the nuance of business relationships and slander. Imagine if I went on the show and told Ramona or Kristen that word on the street is Reid’s client’s are suing him for misappropriation of funds, or that word on the street is the SEC is investigating his business practices. Hey you guys, there’s a lot of gossip going around. There are a whole bunch of words, on lots of streets! I would think Reid would understand the implications of what he is saying, even if his wife is clueless. But no.

I think Reid knows his wife well enough that he HAS to go along with her manufactured storylines or else.

I continue to have an excllent working relationship with Aviva’s publishing house (Simon and Schuster), who is also my publisher. We are in agreement that what the Dreschers have said has no merit or credibility. All of this is a sad and desperate attempt to try to cover up Avivvy’s own deceit, and also help her seem relevant on our show. I have nothing more to say about it.

Hopefully this whole ghostwritergate stuff will be put to bed.

I’d rather talk about dessert.

I love Heather. Have I said that? She does not back down from a fight. Min-the-Minotaur, Vivaca’s sidekick, isn’t able to stand without grabbing a wall but she’s sober enough to stick her unharnessed breasts into everyone’s business.

You looked like you might have gotten an eye full when she bent over to slur her words in your ear while you were talking to Aviva.

 But first, “Girls, dessert!” I think that’s my favorite line of the episode. LuAnn is pushing the cake, she was right to. I had a piece and it was excellent. Had I screamed, “Let them eat cake!” and stormed out with a scepter, this scene might have been interesting. Instead I’m in the background trying to reason with delusion. I feel like a Kafka character: nothing makes sense, no way out. None of it stops LuAnn from presenting the fruit tart! She’s a true countess, nobility at its best. She should be presiding over a glittery 18th-century French salon with Balzac at her elbow, Proust in a corner drinking tea. Instead she has to escort a strange and drunken party guest — Min-Minny-me — out of her room. We aren’t worthy of Lu. I don’t think she realizes how funny she is. We had our differences last season, but have gotten to know each other much better and I am smitten.

A toast, a toast, my Kingdom for a snotty lousy toast. Viva is obnoxious, so naturally she gives an obnoxious toast. What is a “well-wisher,” by the way? Have you ever heard this word used so much? Does Viv-a-craze consider herself a “well-wisher”? If she is a well-wisher it means that she wishes happiness and success for me. That’s where I get confused. Because she didn’t congratulate me or wish me anything when I sold my novel, though I did when she got her book deal. And that’s fine. But now, still, a year after filming these scenes, she won’t back off her aggressive campaign in the press to insult and revile me and my work. She’s tried to age-shame me, and has been disrespectful about my late husband’s family. She’s insulted every single woman on the show. Does Viva-voom celebrate or well-wish any woman? Well . . .let’s think. Her ghostwriter is a woman, but she pretends she doesn’t exist. Hmm. Now she’s talking about “defaming” Heather. (She’ll say anything to get attention.) No wonder Heather was outraged, she knew she was next. Vam-bien thinks she’s got something on Heather. Ooh. Scary. We all know it’s BS.

I want to add this Addendum to Lu’s book, Class with the Countess (I’m her ghostwriter!): “Leave Your Dentures at Home but Bring the Cake.”

Vivs-biz is so tired of all the drama that she has to get her skin lasered off. The drama is building up on her face, it’s not a good look. No one is talking about this except for her, and now her husband, and Sonja. Shut. Up. Already.

Vivvy D. has gleefully cast herself as the villain in our little world. She’s playing a character she has clearly relished scripting, from her campy pulp dialogue to her pseudo-dramatic pose — arms flapping, hair flung side to side. I’m glad she enjoys it. At a distance, it’s comic relief. Close up, it’s well. . .you tell me. I know her ambitions are high but she makes me think of a Roald Dahl character. I can picture she and Reid 20 years from now, after kids and cameras are gone, as Dahl’s crabby couple the Twits. Alone and twitching around, trading wormy plates of spaghetti and their grumpy little jabs.

I promise all of you still watching that she eventually stops playing the victim. . .of this drama anyway.

This gives me hope that I will continue to enjoy watching this show.

I felt so honored when the Coney Island Association asked me to be Queen of the Mermaid Parade this past year. Okay, I wasn’t exactly their first choice, Norah Jones was. But she was busy making albums, touring, and being the fabulous Norah Jones so I got the gig. Judah was their first pick for King Neptune, and he was perfect.

For the past 31 years Coney Island has been home to the Mermaid parade, an annual summer event that has become the nation’s largest art parade. Last year it was in danger of being canceled — an aftereffect of Hurricane Sandy. Coney Island USA, the non-profit that organizes the parade, lost its main source of fundraising when its museum was flooded by the hurricane. So the organizers asked me to participate in their Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds needed to keep it alive. They raised nearly $120,000.

For the past 31 years Coney Island has been home to the Mermaid parade, an annual summer event that has become the nation’s largest art parade. Last year it was in danger of being canceled — an aftereffect of Hurricane Sandy. Coney Island USA, the non-profit that organizes the parade, lost its main source of fundraising when its museum was flooded by the hurricane. So the organizers asked me to participate in their Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds needed to keep it alive. They raised nearly $120,000.

I attended my first Mermaid parade eight years ago and I loved it so much I bought a mermaid skirt. (Moschino was doing a mermaid inspired line that year!) It hung in my closet for years; it’s hard to wear a mermaid skirt around town even if it is Moschino. But it was perfect for Kristen.  It’s hard for me to reconcile the double-teaming couple so at ease lobbing slander at my face, with the two people driving upstate to confront a childhood trauma. But this is a very touching and moving scene. It’s a glimpse of the woman I thought I met two years ago. Maybe she will return.

Sonja: Aviva Is in a Fragile State

Are you a well wisher? Or a doom wisher? Or I guess that’s another word for sociopath! I told you guys there’s one in every 15 people. Scary! No wonder Aviva is asking everyone if they are a well wisher. Beats the alternative — not that a sociopath is going to admit to wishing harm on others.

Sociopath=Aviva

We see more of Reid as he comes to Aviva’s defense and says he was there with three women that said Carole didn’t write the book. So this leads us to believe Aviva is not making it up. However, I still say neither girl should be asking who wrote what, since this whole thing is out of control! Everyone really seems to have ganged up on Aviva who is, in my eyes, in a fragile mental and health state. Is it just me or it shows as well?!?  She’s getting thinner, paler, and forget a ghostwriter — she looks like Casper the ghost herself!

I don’t see it.  She seems to be relishing the attention.

Really, what came out in front of Lu’s kitchen when I blurted my say to Carole is that Carole is holding a grudge against Aviva for her behavior towards Ramona and I last season in St Barth’s. But the punishment for that crime is delayed! #Ramonja is already moving on. But unfortunately Carole and Heather were the last to figure out what was going on back then — and now they want to vent. You can’t say Ramona and I didn’t lash out in retaliation towards Aviva back then. We were knee deep in that cow dunk and shoveled it right out the barn door. Looks like Heather wants to do the same with some s— kicking heels.

Aviva pretty much is telling everyone that Carole is a phony and a fraud.  Carole needs to defend herself.  In St. Barth’s until the ladies saw the footage of Aviva attacking you and Ramona, they had no idea of the vitriol that Aviva spewed at you.   After that, they would assume they are the next victims and they were right.

My dear friend, Executive Chef Seth Levine of Georgica Restaurant and Lounge is also #TeamSonja for a long time now and was so kind to put on the spread of lobster, shrimp, waffles stuffed with ricotta, and so much more! I have been there for him in the past to help him promote his new restaurants and ventures, and he was there for me in true Top Chef form. It was so delicious! With a little help from my wonderful gracious friends, I get by. All will work out in the end.

I was getting hungry looking at the spread.

At Dr. Sadick’s office, Aviva and I were really having a heart-to-heart with the facial masks on. But how can anyone watching us take us seriously? We look like. . .ghosts! Whoops. There is that word again. Carole’s going to kill me. I really hope the sting goes out of this argument soon. I wanted to “return to sender” this Aviva last year. It took me awhile to forgive.

You guys look like Freddy from Friday the Thirteenth.

Aviva said it was her friend’s idea to play with the machine, but it’ nobodys fault. I would definitely blame someone for some long time, but they were kids. It would have been easy to panic and not turn the machine off, even if you were an adult. When my daughter fell in the pool at 18 months old, everyone around her panicked and I had to calmly walk into the pool and take her out, making sure not to harm myself so I could save her. And one of those people was a trained professional caregiver! The other was my ex-husband. I know firsthand that people panic. I think I don’t panic because I always imagine the worst happening in every situation, so when it does I know exactly what I’m going to do! You know what they say: “Imagine the best but be prepared for the worst.”  Aviva has a healthy attitude in this situation. This accident makes Aviva who she is to other people, and gives her the experience to share and help others through their pain. I see Aviva’s face after going back to the scene of the accident and it is so different. The relief is evident.

It was brave of Aviva to go back to the scene of the accident.  I thought she would be a mess but she was able to reconstruct the events of that day without hysterics.  I hope it was cathartic for her.

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DWTS ABC logo

Dancing with the Stars S18E5

by BB

Scores from last week:

Merrill: 78
James:  74
Amy:  70
Charlie:  69
Danica:  68
Cody:  66
NeNe:  63
Drew:  63
Candace:  60

The season is half way over so let the eliminations resume!  Guest judge was former ballroom champion Donny Osmond.  The first two couples who were announced safe were Charlie and Sharna and Drew and Cheryl.

Drew and Cheryl danced the quick step and their music and costumes are from the movie Aladdin.   Drew is not a dancer, but he sure has a cute kid.  Score:  28

Charlie and Sharna do a Jazz routine to music from Mary Poppins.  Not personally a fan of that routine, but the judges must have seen something I didn’t.  They LOVED it.  Score:  37 (Len gave them a 10)

Amy and Derek and Danica and Val were the next two couples deemed safe.  Nene and Tony and Cody and Whitney were put into the jeopardy category.

Danica and Val danced the Quick Step to a song from Beauty and the Best.  Danica is definitely a contender in my opinion.  Score:  39 (3 10s)

Amy and Derek danced a Waltz from Cinderella.  Derek’s biggest concern for Amy are the ballroom dances because of her prosthetic legs.  She got very frustrated during rehearsals this week.  Turned out lovely and elegant.  Score:  37

Cody and Whitney danced the Samba to a song from the Lion King.  I’m just not impressed with Cody’s dancing, but I would think all his young girl fans would be voting for him and am surprised he was in jeopardy this week.  Donny said he didn’t look like he was enjoying the dance.  Score:  34

NeNe and Tony danced the Fox Trot to music from 101 Dalmatians, with Nene as Cruella de Ville.   The true NeNe personality came out during rehearsals when she accused Tony of having an attitude when he wouldn’t listen to the pointers she got from Derek the week before.  NeNe displayed some of her RHOA diva drama.  I’d been waiting for it.  NeNe got all emotional after the dance.  Can’t tell if it was real or acting for votes in case she wasn’t voted off this week.  Score:  36

James and Peta danced Contemporary to a song from Frozen.  James paid for a special needs young lady to come see the show after she asked him to the prom and he couldn’t go because of DWTS.   James is another contender in my book.  Score:  40 (all tens)

Merrill and Maks danced the Samba to a song from The Jungle Book.  Maks had difficulty choreographing a Samba to a Disney song.  They dance well together and I enjoyed it.  Score:  36

Candace and Mark danced the Samba to a song from The Little Mermaid.   Candace has some cute kids too.  Score:  35.  They are the third couple who were in jeopardy.

This week’s scores:
James 40
Danica 39
Amy 37
Charlie 37
Merrill 36
NeNe 36
Candace 35
Cody 34
Drew 28

So who got eliminated?  NeNe and Tony OR Cody and Sharna OR Candace and Mark?

It’s not NeNe and Tony.  It’s Cody and Whitney.  I’m surprised because I thought his girl fans would vote for him.  However, I’m not disappointed because he’s definitely not my personal favorite.

Next week:  Party Anthem Theme night.  Woot!  Woot!

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Posted in Dancing With the Stars, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHONY Cast Blogs | 220 Comments

Let’s Chat – Real Housewives of Orange County & Southern Charm

Real Housewives Of Orange County

“Hawaii 5 Uh-Oh”

Orange County is back for their 9th season.  Click here if you missed the season preview blog with information about new cast members.

In tonight’s episode; Vicki finds her life in turmoil once again, as her divorce from Donn is finalized and she struggles to move forward with Brooks after his controversial clash with Briana at last season’s reunion. Newcomer Shannon gives Heather a peek into her quirky lifestyle choices. Heather invites party girls Vicki and Tamra for a girls-only weekend trip to Honolulu following her guest role on “Hawaii Five-O,” but tensions arise when the dynamic duo are met with resistance when they try to get Heather to lose the fancy pants.

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Southern Charm – “The Third Man”

The crew escapes to Shep’s family plantation for a pig hunt followed by a pig roast. They shoot guns, they meet the Boykin family historian, and Whitney reveals a disturbing secret to Thomas.

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Vicki Gunvalson will be a guest on Watch What Happens Live.

Let’s Chat!

Posted in Orange County | 116 Comments

The Amazing Race – S24E7 – Rome / Real Housewives of Atlanta S6E22

TARlogo2Welcome back, Racefans.. Last time there was no elimination so we are still stuck with 7 teams as they head off to Rome, Italy for this leg of the race. Country finished last so they will have to do a speed bump at some point. The initial clue reads: Go to the Eternal City and go to the ponte sant’angelo (it’s a bridge). That’s Rome, kids. Rachel thinks it’s Ethiopia…. Go ahead and say it, Bless her heart… They all scramble to get to the travel agents (Rachel tripped and bit the dust) to get booked on the same flight so once again, a reset in the starting point. Some teams are on the front of the plane while a few are on the back of the plane. That would be the cowboys, the Globetrotters, and Dave and Conner.. I don’t know about all the rest of you but I absolutely hate flying, to the point, I refuse to do it anymore.. Sitting in the back is THE WORSE. Especially when you want to get off of the damn thing because you have to wait for all the asshats in front of you to find where they put their carry-ons, and then stagger off behind them like a bunch of drunks stumbling out of a bar 30 minutes past last call. That is basically what happened to those last 3 teams. By the time they managed to get off of the plane, the shuttle bus with the other 4 teams had already left so they had to wait for the next one, putting them behind.

t2Once teams get to the bridge to find their next clue, they find it is a detour. Gladiator or Charioteer.. In Rome, How original. The Charioteer gig is they have to race the clock with these remote control horse and chariot rigs around a track, 5 times, against a clock. If they don’t get the 5 laps in time, they have to start over. One person from t1each controls the speed, the other does the steering. The gladiator task is one at a time, each team member has to defend against a (choreographed) attack from a roman gladiator. If either one screws up, they both have to do it again. In the end, our racers lose the fight but once they do that, they get their next clue. Blondes have to do a speed bump and this is the part. What they have to do is go to the Pantheon and get t8an Olivetti and deliver it to the building that looks like a typewriter, Piazza Venezia and set it on that pedestal or one like it (that isn’t one of the blondes there in the picture).

Okay. Initially everyone except the surfers chose the chariot task (blondes did deliver their Olivetti and continue on, believing they had fallen to last place). Surfers decide to be gladiators based on his suggestion. As they are receiving instruction on the proper sequence of moves, TH John is flapping his lips about how this comes naturally to him because he had a Tae Kwon Do class in college. Good to know dude. John kept screwing up while Jessica kept getting it right. Not a big deal but I thought I would note that since he was the one pounding his gums about how easy this was for him. The Geranimals started with the chariot task but switched to be gladiators. The chariot races were chaotic with everyone there, running into each other’s chariots, but eventually everyone got through both tasks.

The next clue told them to go to the Piazza di Spagna, the former home of John Keetz, to find their next clue. This location was also shown in the film, Roman Holiday. Surfers are actually the first to leave the detour but they get a cab driver who doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do and apparently they don’t know how to tell him. They end up touring Rome with the guy before they finally get where they are supposed to be. The clue collected at the Piazza di Spagna, is a roadblock.

t5What one member of each team has to do is count the number of steps on the Spanish Steps and combine that number with the year built which is shown on a monument at the top of the steps. Once they do that, they have to show their answer to a waiting couple at the bottom of the steps. There are a total of 135 steps if properly counted. The monument at the top is called an oblisco. The problem for most teams is not the counting but reading instructions and doing the conversion between the roman t12numbers and the arabic numbers that most of the rest of the world uses. The year, is 1789. Add the 135 to that you get 1924 and that has to be converted back to the roman numeral, MCMXXIV and then be shown to the waiting couple.  I hated messing with Roman numbers in school, I hate them now. It was a pointless exercise as far as I was concerned but I guess if I had ever run the race, it may have been useful information.

So here is what happened. Brenchel got there first. Solved it first but no without help from a local for Brendon to translate the Roman numbers. While they are there, Dave and Conner show up.. missing the clue at the local venders cart. So Rachel points them in the right direction but doesn’t tell them where the clue is.. Surfers are completely lost and finally get out of their cab to find internet at a hotel. Their driver thought they were looking for Keats Plaza (street) rather than his home, at the Spanish Steps. He does find a place but it’s a completely unrelated apartment building. That’s when they decide this guy is a lost cause. Globetrotters and the others also arrive but Flight Time doesn’t fully read the clue and thinks he just has to count the steps. In the end, long after Brenchel, Afghanimals get it and decide to share the info on the condition that none of them can step on the mat before them. t6Fair enough. Teams are thinking that the Blondes are still behind them so none of them will be last, as long as they beat the blondes. What they don’t know, is the Blondes are already done, in second place behind Brenchel. The pit stop is at the Piazza del Popolo.. Brenchel finished first and won a trip to the great barrier reaf off of Australia.

Next week kiddies, double U turn is in play. Oh, Surfer dude was eliminated. Jessica isn’t happy it appears, she was pissed last time when idiot got them eliminated, holding an express pass.. I wonder if she will ever realize she is engaged to a boob.

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Photo from RHOA Facebook

Photo from RHOA Facebook

Real Housewives of Atlanta S6E22

By Ramonacoaster

Yay! It’s the season finale of Atlanta. Kandi is practicing singing at home when Todd walks in. The curtains goes up in two days. Todd tells her that the ticket sales are slow. He also shares the conversation that he had with Mama Joyce and that she wasn’t responsive to him. Kandi wants to prove to her mom that Todd and her make a good team. Kandi hopes everything is cool with her mom when she sees her. They are going to start making plans for their wedding and the signing of the prenuptial. Kandi says the lawyer and Apollo and Cynthia and Peter just signed their prenups like it was no big deal. Todd jokes that divorces happen because the woman doesn’t cook and Kandi says divorces happen because there is no Bedroom Kandi. Sell girl, sell.

Cynthia, Kenya’s aunt and a friend of Kenya are coming together to bury Velvet. Kenya is still sad and misses her dog. Kenya’s aunt is doing the eulogy. There are scenes of Velvet playing during the funeral. It is really sad. Cynthia is having problems handling her dog during Kenya’s speech. It takes away from the sadness of the situation. Velvet was really cute.

Apollo and Ayden bring a cake to the lawyer to congratulate her for finishing school. The lawyer is proud to say she has embalmed almost a 100 bodies, she is a licensed funeral director and is well on the path to opening up her own funeral parlor. Apollo does not understand how stressful her life was and what having a vagina means. Honey, I don’t think he wants to find out. Ayden is checking on his little brother to see if he is awake to join the party. He is so cute and very smart.

Porsha, her sister and mother are celebrating Porsha signing the paperwork for her divorce. Kordell wasn’t present for the signing. Porsha decided not to go to court because she felt her future shouldn’t include him and it shouldn’t include his money. Sounds like Porsha grew up and is becoming an independent woman. Porsha’s mom is proud that Porsha kept it together during the divorce proceedings. She went to church and still kept her spirits up. She then asks her about the ring still on her finger. Porsha takes it off and dumps it in a glass of wine. In case she needs some quick cash she can always pawn it.

Cynthia’s sister is helping Cynthia plan a romantic evening for Peter full of lighted candles and strewn rose petals. I don’t know why Cynthia thinks smoking a cigar and sitting in a chair when Peter walks in is sexy. Usually you smoke something afterwards. Mal leaves when the scene is as sexy as it is going to get and Cynthia has practiced her romantic talk. Peter walks in and starts laughing. He opens the champagne and watches Cynthia walking away and thinks that is sexy. They go to the bedroom which is where the camera stops rolling.

Nene comes home from a trip complaining of how tired she is and feeling a pain under her right breast and in her side. Gregg says he gets pains like that all the time and offers her a glass of alka seltzer. If it is not gas then he thinks Nene needs to get looked at.

It is the morning of opening night and Kandi hopes everything will work out. Kandi gives a shout out to Todd saying that everything came together because Todd was there. Todd is checking that everyone is where they are supposed to be. Porsha actually showed up. Kandi says she starts farting before the start of the show. Nerves. Nene let her know that she is having health issues. Kandi was understanding that Nene couldn’t make it but was disappointed. They run through choreography real quick. The stage manager is calling for Porsha and of course she doesn’t answer. Porsha is sleeping on the couch when the stage manager wakes her up to give her a pep talk and somehow Porsha thinks it is an apology. The stage manager just said if Porsha messes up then she needs to do what she needs to do to get by. I don’t see that as an apology. It is more like “I know you are going to mess up but fake it ‘til you make it.” Kandi is happy to hear that the musical is sold out.

Cynthia, Peter, Apollo and the lawyer meet before the performance starts to discuss Nene’s health issues and Mama Joyce’s possible reactions to the performance. We see flashbacks of Mama Joyce wanting to go all kung fu on Kandi’s friend in the wedding dress shop.

Mama Joyce shows up in the dressing room and she is in good spirits. Kandi hopes she will love the play and love the message. Mama also visits Eddie Lavert’s dressing room. He jokingly asks if Mama Joyce’s character is really what Mama Joyce is like. Mama Joyce says she hasn’t seen the play yet and maybe she should have written the ending. They laugh but many a truth is said in jest.

The performance starts and they start singing and dancing. Porsha’s singing sounds really good and the crowd cheers. Kandi is happy with Porsha’s performance. Kandi expresses her feelings about her mother in this musical. One of the lyrics of the song goes like this “let a person love, who they love, it’s not about the money or the car you drive, it’s about the person that makes you smile, that’s what makes life worthwhile, let them love.” Kandi hopes the message gets through to her mother. It is hard to read Mama’s expression as she is watching. Everyone gets a standing ovation.

After the performance, everyone gathers including Todd and his mother. Kandi says Todd talks to his mother twice a day so she knows everything that is going on. Todd’s mother gave Mama Joyce a stilted greeting but at least she greeted her. It looked like she made the first move which is classy. Kandi speaks to her mom to ask her what she thought about the performance. Mama Joyce says they can agree to disagree. Boy, she hardly gives an inch. Riley gave her mom a smiling, tearful hug. She was clearly moved by the performance. Titus, Kandi’s father, tells her that whoever she loves, he loves.

Now we come to the closing credits. The lawyer plans to open a crematorium in Athens. She is not going to represent Apollo in his fraud case. Porsha received no alimony in her divorce. She is dating an African tycoon but not Kenya’s. Bar One is still in limbo and Peter is still looking for investors to buy the property meanwhile Kenya got Cynthia to admit they were friends. Kenya and her African prince are going to try in vitro if she doesn’t get fertilized the old-fashioned way by June. Cynthia tells everyone that Nene went through some medical tests and they admitted her in the hospital. Nene had a blood clot in her lungs. Its life threatening if the clot is large and cuts off blood flow to her lungs. Her right lung collapsed and she had a partial collapse in her left lung. Anyway we now know that she is recovered and is a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. Being active helps prevent recurring pulmonary embolism and taking anticoagulants. Kandi is talking about possibly taking the show on the road.

Kandi and Todd congratulate each other on a job well done. Kandi tells Todd that Mama Joyce says they can agree to disagree. They are willing to take that as a step in the right direction. The musical A Mother’s Love sold out for 5 Atlanta performances and now they are planning their next production together … their April wedding. Next up is the reunion and it looks crazy physical.

Thank you Ramonacoaster for recapping this season for us – MTH.

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Posted in Amazing Race 21 plus, Real Housewives of Atlanta | 77 Comments

Let’s Chat – Real Housewives Of Atlanta

RHOA S6 logo cast

Real Housewives Of Atlanta

“The Final Curtain Call”

This is the Season Finale for Season 6 and we join the peaches just days before the debut of Kandi’s musical, and ticket sales are far from booming. NeNe returns from her travels experiencing unusual pains, causing her to seek medical attention. As Phaedra nears the end of her mortuary science journey, Apollo reveals his concern for their marriage.

Nene Leakes is the guest on Watch What Happens Live

Let’s Chat!

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Posted in Atlanta | 136 Comments

Real Housewives Of Orange County Season 9 Preview

RHOOC logo

RHOOC S9 cast

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow, Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge and Lizzie Rovsek

The one that started it all in 2006.  The show that Bravo tried to replicate to other cities and therefore making Real Housewives franchises is back for Season 9!

The OG of the OC Vicki and her accomplices return without the likes of Gretchen Rossi, Alexis Bellino and Lydia McLaughlin to kick around this year.   Congratulations are in order for Lydia, as she’s recently announced to be pregnant with her third child!

This season, long term friendships are put to the ultimate test (why would we expect anything less?!) as veteran Housewives Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge and Heather Dubrow are joined by two new ladies — the quirky yet fearless Shannon Beador and the opinionated former beauty queen Lizzie Rovek.  The new housewives come in strong to shake up the status quo with their fresh attitudes and bold opinions. A new friend of the housewives, Danielle Gregorio, also finds herself caught up in the drama going down behind the gates of SoCal’s wealthiest community.

Shannon Beador

Born and raised in Southern California, Shannon Beador joins the cast this season bringing her unflinching honesty and unconventional ways.  She adheres to a holistic lifestyle, keeping her house a toxic free zone with a hospital grade air filtration system and no wi-fi.  Her three daughters, 12-year-old Sophie and 9-year-old twins, Stella and Adeline have never eaten cheddar cheese because of the orange dyes.  Shannon spends her free time with her energy specialist and a Feng Shui advisor trying to rid herself of any built up anger and resentment.  Her 13-year marriage has recently hit a rough patch as she and her husband David struggle to find balance between work, the kids and each other.”

Lizzie Rovsek

Living blocks away from Tamra in Ladera Ranch, Lizzie Rovsek brings her captivating combination of charm, sex appeal, and intelligence to Orange County. A former Miss Kentucky, Lizzie is a beauty pageant judge and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of acting. Now she is busy raising two boys under the age of four while juggling her husband, Christian, and her career as the owner and designer of Sun Kitten Swimwear. Lizzie is from a large family and is contemplating having a third child, hopefully a girl, but is torn between her career aspirations and growing her family.

 

Danielle Gregorio

The newest friend of the housewives, Danielle Gregorio, moved to Orange County 10 years ago and lives in Villa Park. She has two kids, ages seven and five, with her husband Joe, who she has known since childhood, and a 15-year-old son from a previous relationship. She is the Partner and Principle Designer for Danielle Kaye Design. A co-founding member of the charity Heels2Heal-OC, helping underprivileged, critically-ill, abused women and children. Danielle holds her opinions close to her vest, but when she speaks out, she’s brash and brutally honest.

Season 9 and cast information was complied from BravoTV.com

Click here for the Season 9 trailer and for some newer  Premier Videos.   And here’s a Preview of Episode 1.  Surf’s Up!

Season 9 begins Monday, April 14th.  Stars99 has graciously agreed to recap this Season and HydrangeaHussy will blog the cast blogs!    

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Posted in Real Housewives of Orange County | 113 Comments

Flipping Out – Southern Charm

FO logo

Flipping Out S7E6 “Flipping Nashville” by BB

This episode of Flipping Out wasn’t all that enjoyable for me.

Gramercy is on the market.  They held an open house where about 80 people show up.  Two couples were very interested but ultimately decided not to buy.  Jeff knows Gage doesn’t really want to move, and Jeff is even having second thoughts about selling Gramercy after the open house.  However, he’s going to leave it on the market, but not take less than $3.2 million for it.  He hopes he can stay in Gramercy and still be able to flip houses, but if he gets a full price offer, he will probably take it.  Gage is just happy Jeff is at least considering staying at Gramercy.

FO S7E6_1Jeff’s former clients Jeannie and Tommy Shaw have decided to move to Nashville.  Jeff, Jeannie and Andrew travel to Nashville to look at houses for the Shaws.  Four houses are shown on camera and Jeannie chooses one called Overton Lea.  It’s the perfect southern home with lots of land and a screened in porch.  The cost is over $2 mil with at least a $100,000 kitchen redo.  I must say I didn’t enjoy listening to Jeannie cuss like a sailor and yell and act like a complete witch towards Jeff and Andrew while they were in Nashville.  If that’s the way she is all the time, perhaps that why her husband tours so much with the band.  Just a guess.

FO S7E6_3Zoila’s disrespecting authority act is getting a little old.  She calls Andrew a kiss ass when he wins employee of the week, and later also calls Megan a kiss ass.  She calls both Megan and Gage Barbie Bitch, then later just says Gage is Barbie Bitch and Megan is just Barbie.  I know she’s just trying to be a wise ass and fit in like everyone else in the office, but it just didn’t work this episode.

The rest of the episode was about Megan taking over for Jeff while he was away in Nashville.  She’s OK, but she’s no Jenny.  Which brings us to next week’s episode when Jeff tells Jenni he needs her back in the office as soon as possible.  Please come back, Jenni.  This show definitely needs you.

I’ve heard the ratings for Flipping Out were not good the first few weeks, but picked up when Million Dollar Listing New York started as a lead in.  I hope Flipping Out is not in jeopardy, but I didn’t see them listed on Bravo’s 15 new and 16 returning shows announcement.  Neither are Tabitha Takes Over or Interior Therapy, two more of my favorites on Bravo.  I guess Bravo is moving in another direction.  Whether it’s a good direction remains to be seen.

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SC logo

Southern Charm S1E6

“The Glass Menagerie Is Half Full”

By HydrangeaHussy

As we recall, Whitney is trying to decide what to do about his restaurant deal with Shep. Kathryn has hooked up with at least two of the group & had a pregnancy scare. Whitney may or may not have hit on Kathryn, depending on who Kathryn is talking to, I’m still not sure why TRav is made at Whitney, but fine with Shep.

HouseIt’s morning in Charleston. Craig & Cameran are up early to get ready for work. We get a gratuitous shot of shirtless Craig, thank you Bravo! Craig is serious about becoming a lawyer & Cameran is serious about her real estate. She meets up with Eve to learn about the history of Charleston. It’s important to know about the history In order to sell the historic homes. They discuss the Carolina Day party & it becomes clear that TRav has some history with Eve. She’s a little more age-appropriate than his current 21 year old. The girls go to preview a $2.2 million house next door to TRav. The house is gorgeous! It has lots of original touches, including a chandelier & fireplace.

PatriciaWhitney & Patricia are discussing the party as well. And yes, there are women in the South who refer to a cocktail as their “medicine.” I know some of them. Whitney repeats his joke about TRav only having four friends. Patricia correctly guesses that the fight was instigated by Kathryn. Whitney is going to meet with Bryan because Shep is not a dependable business partner. Probably a good plan.

TRav’s political consultant comes by. TRav admits that he’s now seeing Kathryn, but that Whitney doesn’t approve. The consultant is impressed by her family name. He thinks that TRav’s criminal history is more problematic than his relationship. As TRav describes Kathryn, it’s clear that he’s come to care about her.

GirlsJenna is meeting Cameran for dessert & wine. Cameran tells Jenna that she discovered a half-full glass on TRav’s windowsill. They move on to the fight between TRav & Whitney. They agree that Kathryn was in the middle of it. Cameran thinks that the boys’ careless attitude comes from not having responsibilities. I’d have to agree on that one. Why behave like a mature adult when you don’t have to?

TRavKathryn & TRav are having lunch. TRav is still upset by Whitney. He was very condescending when TRav invited him to a party. They decide not to worry about Whitney, though TRav still plans to give him a piece of his mind at the dinner party. They are sure why people are so caught up in the age difference. TRav thinks Kathryn is an old soul & that he could benefit from her wisdom. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think that a 21 year old has lived enough to know what they really want or who they really are. Kathryn thinks that TRav has some great insight to offer his friends. TRav invites Jenna & Cameran, warning them that he plans to give some life advice at the dinner. I don’t see this dinner going over as well as TRav & Kathryn think.

Cameran calls Shep at 1pm. It sounds like he just woke up. Must be nice. She wants to show off her new car. Now that she’s selling real estate, she can’t drive around in a “hoopty.” Didn’t we see her driving an AMG earlier? I’d hardly call that a clunker. She has a new, white Mercedes, which she has named Unicorn. At lunch, Cameran suggests peel & eat shrimp, but Shep doesn’t want to do manual labor. Ugh, such a hard life, having to peel a few shrimp! Shep doesn’t think that TRav has any room to give life advice. Hmmm, pot meet kettle. Shep announces that TRav has ordered Shep to bring Danni. We get a flashback of Shep manhandling Danni during the party, though he now admits that he was leading her on by doing that.

Bryan arrives at Whitney’s Patricia’s house. Bryan is an old friend & founded Planet Hollywood. I’d take his advice over Shep’s any day. Whitney wants a high-end Mexican restaurant, three stories with chandeliers & velvet. It sounds a little bordello to me. Bryan says that he wouldn’t open a hot dog stand with Shep. Whitney says that Shep is going to put some money in, but Bryan points out that they need some restrictions on what privileges that investment will bring. Shep could drink them out of business very quickly. Bryan says that he would work with Whitney, but that he will not work with anyone else. Tough call. They decide to cut Shep out & Bryan begins making plans.

It’s the day of the dinner. This should be good! There’s a whole crew in the kitchen handling dinner so TRav doesn’t have to worry about the details. He & Kathryn go to the dining room to discuss seating arrangements. Whitney has Jenna over to choose an outfit. He’s going with early 80’s Armani. They joke about how unimportant the dinner is. I’d be pissed if my so-called friends were so dismissive. J.D. arrives at TRav’s. At least there will be one adult at the table. TRav wants to talk about what he’s learned from his downfall. J.D. thinks that the advice will be lost on the group. TRav has invited Danni b/c he wants her to see what she missed out on. Everyone is on edge because they don’t know what to expect from the evening.

The group moves into the dining room. I feel bad for TRav. Everyone at the table has said that they don’t want his advice & are just showing up for the food. TRav may not be a role model, but he probably has some advice on how to avoid going to jail. He begins by saying that he has done lots of self-reflecting after his fall. Then he goes off on a tangent. He’s losing most of his guests, and me. Kathryn doesn’t seem to appreciate his story about a failed engagement.

Despite everyone’s skepticism, TRav is being honest & vulnerable. And then he goes around the room telling everyone how they have wronged him. He points out that Danni wouldn’t date him b/c of his criminal history. He tells Whitney that he is intolerant & judgmental. Cameran is shocked & Craig is cracking up. Whitney says that he comes across as judgmental but it’s really out of concern for his friend. Umm, my friends don’t constantly talk down to me & point out every little misstep I make. In his TH, Shep agrees with TRav, but keeps his mouth shut at the dinner. TRav awkwardly concludes with a toast to friendship & dinner begins.

Cameran asks TRav about his failed engagement to the “beverage cart girl.” He admits that he treated her poorly. She asks what TRav would do if he knew the girl was single again. In front of Kathryn, he says that he would be all over her. Wow, how insulting to the girl you’ve spent the last two episodes building up. What kind of idiot says something like that in front of his girlfriend? Kathryn is pissed, understandably.

KathrynCraig notes that commitment in Charleston is difficult because men have too many options. Kathryn says that chivalry is dead & Craig disagrees. She is looking for a fight & he is ready to give her one. Craig is trying to explain his opinion & Kathryn keeps talking over him. That’s not very classy. Speaking of classy, Kathryn says that she won’t talk to Craig because he doesn’t have any class. Even Shep thinks she’s gone too far. From what I’ve seen, I think that Craig has more class than any of them. Craig takes the bait & tells Kathryn that it wasn’t classy of her to sleep with 3 guys at the table in 3 weeks. So, I think that people should do what makes them happy, but you have to own your behavior (especially when it’s documented by Bravo). Everyone is silent. Kathryn calls Craig disgusting & leaves the table. TRav is trying to figure out who the third person is.

CraigDanni goes to comfort Kathryn. She feels like Craig is slandering her because she rejected him. Danni points out that it’s TRav’s responsibility to stick up for his girlfriend in his house. The group is heading out. Whitney thanks TRav for the lovely dinner, while putting him down in his TH. I thought I would like Whitney, but the holier than thou attitude is wearing on me. Craig advises TRav to keep his guard up with Kathryn. He’s trying to be a good friend by pointing out that she seems to have ulterior motives. Kathryn walks up & accuses Craig of lying about her. Craig is trying to leave, but Kathryn keeps on. She tells him that he’s never invited to the house again. Interesting, isn’t it TRav’s house? Also, why does she have her purse? FightTRav is noticeably quiet during this exchange. TRav finally speaks up, saying quietly that it is his house & Craig is his friend. He points out that Craig seems to have struck a nerve with his comments. Kathryn storms out.

 

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Happy Birthday SoutheastVA

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Posted in Flipping Out, Southern Charm | 328 Comments

Survivor Cagayan – S28E7

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…. And we’re back… at camp that is. Kass just flipped to help vote out Sarah and Spencer is being a little baby about not getting his way and saying goodbye to Jefra instead. He has some not so nice things to say to Kass as does later on, Morgan.  I can see how dead do nothing weight could suck the fun out of this game, laying around expecting everyone else to serve them, and Morgan is about as dead weight as they come. Thinks it’s okay because she’s ‘cute’. I just want to hold her face in a shallow puddle somewhere. This rubs Kass the wrong way because she has this nutty idea that people should pull their own weight during the down times. Of course in Morgan’s eyes, Kass is just this bitter old woman and hates Morgan, because she’s pretty. Don’t worry Morgan… Soon you’ll be that old hag that all the young chicas are making fun of.. One day soon, you’ll wake up, your nipples will be bouncing off of your knees, Your boobs will look like mashed potatoes in a pair of tube socks, and you’ll wonder what the hell happened. It’s time to bring back the asshat pair designations.

surcastMorgan, is on the far right of the right pic above and she is asshat1 this week. I suspect if I were spending any time with this chick, I would be bored silly in about half a heartbeat. Joining her as asshat2, is Spencer, bottom left center picture.

This week was more challenge play than anything else. Not really a lot of strategery going on because there were two challenges. One being a reward challenge that the episode gets into pretty quick, and then the immunity challenge. We’ll start of course with the reward challenge.

Reward Challenge

This is a multistep challenge where teams, are racing to put together a puzzle. They have to run across this obstacle course to the beach and drag a large crate and themselves up a steep incline. Once there tho of them can start working the puzzle. The crate contains the final piece and the crate cannot be opened until all of the other pieces are put together.

Teams are random draw and are, Orange - Jeremiah, Jefra, LJ, Morgan, and Spencer. Purple – Woo, Kass, Tony, Trish, and Tasha.  It’s a pretty even run until Woo slips on one of the balance beams and has to start that part all over again, allowing the oranges74 team to slip ahead. All 5 team members must complete each segment together, so, the purple team never really recovers and Orange wins the reward challenge. The reward is they are taken to an Outback type streak dinner with all the trimmings. Orange team goes off to enjoy that while Purple goes back to camp empty handed. LJ and Spencer did the puzzle for orange, Kass and Woo were working it for Purple. Doesn’t matter, you already know the result.

While back at camp, alone, a few of the purple team decide to go blindly look for that special power hidden idol. No one finds it of course but that doesn’t stop them from looking. Oh yes, Tony was trying to feel out where Kass stands after she previously flipped to his side to get rid of Sarah.. Tony, she doesn’t call herself Chaos Kass for no reason.. Take what you get, be happy with it, but watch your back. She’s there to play too. Meanwhile, at the lunch, Spencer decides he’s made a pig of himself and decides to use his napkin to clean up a bit. Out of the napkin falls a piece of paper. What ever could it be? Why yes, it’s a clue to that hidden idol which Spencer pockets immediately hiding it from his team mates.

It’s pouring rain and the reward winners come staggering and belching back to camp and almost immediately, Spencer goes off to read that idol clue and try to find it. Right away Woo figures out what’s going on and decides to stalk Spencer  to see if He can find that idol. Spencer thinks he’s alone on this hunt but Woo has gone into Ninja Stealth mode, being all sneaky and stuff. He takes his pants off because he has to go into the water to find the idol, neatly folds them, withe clue safely tucked inside them, or so he thinks. Woo sees this, takes the clue, and tosses Spencer his pants after he realizes that Woo is there. As Woo hauls ass back to camp, Spencer realizes what has happened. Woo has the clue.

Woo gets back to camp with the clue and shares it with Tony. Now the mad dash is on to find that idol and all 10 players are looking for it. One of them says in TH interview that whoever finds it, everyone is going to know who has it because they’ll all be there when it happens. Spencer and Kass kind of make peace because they are standing right next to each other while looking for that idol. Spencer wishes she would just go away because he’s found it and doesn’t want her to see him grab it. He manages to get it however without her seeing it. So the idol is found but we don’t know yet what it’s magical powers are.

Back at camp, again, we are trying to figure out who to vote out. Team Tony is trying to figure what will happen if Spencer has that hidden idol. It doen’t really matter much because we haven’t done the immunity challenge yet.

Immunity Challenge

s75There isn’t a lot of action to this one, just a bunch of people standing around and Probst doing his play by play bit. Within these frames, players are standing on a beam on their tip toes. Doing so while pressing a block of wood with their heads to the top of the frame. Last one standing, wins immunity for the night. This goes on s73for about 90 minutes. Kass was the first one out and eventually it dwindled down to Spencer and Tasha. All the while, all of these people were probably wishing Probst would STFU. I know I did.. This was Spencer’s night because he won the challenge after Tasha was eliminated.

So now Spencer not only has that idol, that we still don’t know what it’s for, he also has immunity from winning the challenge. That pisses away any notion of him playing that hidden idol. Previous to the challenge, they were hoping for a split vote in order to force something to happen.

Pre-Tribal and Tribal

Two names are floated at this point.. Spencer’s faction wants to get rid of the biggest threat, Tony. Kass’ faction, which for now, includes Tony, wants to get rid of the do nothing dead weight, Morgan. The players head off to Tribal and once there, it’s the usual setup.. Jury of one (Sarah) brought in and the Probsting begins. For me, the biggest thing that came out of this is that it’s still brains vs beauty. It seems everyone is sick of Morgan not pulling her weight around camp and she is called out for it.. Her biggest move right now is that if she’s pissed at someone they won’t get her vote so they may not want her on the jury (Kass). Someone likened her to an old sick dog that no one has the heart to do anything with so they keep her around out of sympathy.. Even Probst gets in on the act by suggesting that she doesn’t have to do much because she’s ‘cute’. Not the first time he’s gone there. She’s quite happy with the fact that she can wave the girls in someone’s face (LJ and Jerimiah) and be taken care of as she deserves to be.. Puke. Let’s vote and not waste anymore time with this girl.

They vote, Probst collects and organizes them for the reveal. He polls for the idol and of course, Spencer doesn’t play it. The votes are read and it comes to a 4:4 tie between Tony and Morgan.. A 9th vote is read for Morgan.. 10th vote read, Morgan. She’s the second member of the jury. Couldn’t have happened to a bigger bitch. Tony got the message he isn’t secure either.. In her exit interview Morgan was just as bitchy as she was during the entire episode. Below is the voting history..

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 See you next week – MTH

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Posted in Survivor | 104 Comments

The Real Housewives of New York City – Everybody Thinks We’re Drag Queens

Courtesy of BravoTV.com

Courtesy of BravoTV.com

Realhousewives of New York by Empress (realhousewifeofaiken)

LuAnn’s barbecue is still in full swing.  Amanda and Heather are arguing, with Amanda insisting that she doesn’t have to make a good impression.  Good thing she cleared that up because she really isn’t making a good impression.   Sonja starts to imitate her, calling her the “image consultant”.  Amanda decides that she should go back to where Aviva and Carole were last seen, also arguing, in order to play mediator.   Heather follows her, telling her to leave them alone.  Heather also tells LuAnn she should have Amanda leave the house.  She then turns to Amanda and tells her to “just walk out of here.”   Amanda says that Heather is insecure and goes right back into the middle of the Carole versus Aviva argument.  LuAnn offers Amanda some pie or cake.

Aviva and Carole are now fighting over well-wishers – who is and who isn’t.   LuAnn offers them fruit some fruit tart.   In Heather’s talking head, she says that you don’t f**k with people’s careers.  Aviva , in her talking head, says that Heather is a big, bad, femme fatale (?) bodyguard.   Aviva walks away from Carole and runs into Heather who wants to defend Carole’s position.  Reid steps in, after locating his cajones, and rallies to his wife’s side.   Amanda is lurking, garnering more camera time.  Now everyone is hollering at everyone else, except Kristen, who is just standing there, wondering why she ever signed a Bravo contract.  Heather says that Aviva is full of envy and when Aviva starts to respond, Heather tells her that she shouldn’t ever tell her anything – that was followed by Heather calling Aviva a name which involves a parental unit and an act of conscious coupling.  Aviva wonders if she learned that in prison.  I don’t think anyone had any pie, cake or fruit tart.

Sonja is holding a brunch at her borrowed Hamptons’ house.  Harry arrives and kisses Sonja.  She lifts her coverup to show him her swimsuit.   The other guests are LuAnn and a girl friend, Aviva, Reid and their kids, along with Josh and Kristen and their two children.  Heather and Carole have made their escape, from Long Island already.  Sonja takes Aviva aside to tell her that the girls aren’t feeling her.  Aviva says that she doesn’t understand because she spends so much of her time helping and uplifting people.   Then Sonja’s tooth falls out.  Reid’s mother offers to help her out and they discuss their personal preferences in denture adhesives.

Back in the city, Carole, Heather and Kristen are at Abracadabra to find mermaid costumes, as Carole is to be named Queen of the Coney Island Mermaid Parade.  Sonja and Aviva are bonding over some laser treatments and they start to talk about what happened at LuAnn’s barbecue.   Aviva says that Heather and Carole were “verbally raping” her, and that they were out to hurt her.  She calls Heather a Brutus.  I’m lost here.  Did she mean Brutus like in traitor or Caligula like the poster emperor of debauchery?   Maybe she meant that heather was a brute.  Who knows?  Sonja doesn’t want to spend a ton of money on a costume, so she has her designer friend stop by her townhouse to put together an appropriate outfit from Sonja’s wardrobe.  Her friend has found a red wig for her and we now have Red Sonja.  Sonja jumps onto her bed, goes into one of her burlesque routines, certain that she’ll catch some action in her homemade costume.

Aviva takes her children to a crafts shop and they begin to paint. Reid arrives just in time to see a text from Wendy Morgan, who was the young friend of Aviva’s when she has her accident.  The two haven’t spoken in over 36 years and Becky would like to meet with Aviva at the Morgan’s farm.  Aviva tells Reid that Becky has been carrying a heavy burden all this time, probably blaming herself for what happened.   Probably is the operative word, because Aviva never had any inclination or  took the time to reach out to Becky before now, either.   Yes, I guess Becky would be carrying a heavy burden, not knowing how Aviva felt about her for over three decades.  They decide to take Becky up on her offer because Aviva is now ready to face her fears.

Carole Radziwill, Kristen Taekman, LuAnn de Lesseps, Sonja Morgan

LuAnn and Kristen arrive in their costumes for the parade and get on the wrong float.  They can’t find the one they’re supposed to be one, so they go back to Lucky Cheng’s float where they’re joined by Sonja.  Sonja is having more problems with another one of her teeth, which can only mean that the Fixodent isn’t working.   LuAnn’s head is about to explode, having been made to endure endless breaches of class, good manners and decorum.   Just don’t ask her to explain her outfit.  Carole is finally crowned Queen of the parade – her King was Jonah Hill – and the honor is bestowed by a man who calls her “Karen” Radziwill.   She can now hold two titles under two different names.  Heather arrives when the others are at the beach, and they gather to light a fire and recite some poem about friendship and the sisterhood of the traveling mermaid fins.

Aviva and Reid are on their way to Franklin, New York and the Morgan’s farm.  She tells him about the accident and relates every detail of how it happened, what it felt like and how it changed her life.  If it hadn’t happened, she would never have been in a position to help other amputees – every cloud has a silver lining.  She then says “s**t happens, it’s nobody’s fault.”   I guess that’s easy to say thirty years after the lawsuits were settled.  Becky is waiting for them when they arrive and the three of them hug.  Reid then asks for a place where he can go to get some work done and leaves the two women to talk.  They go inside and Aviva tells Becky that she saved her life.  She asks Becky is there was a lot of blood and Becky breaks down and cries.

Aviva Drescher

Aviva tells Becky that she wants to see the barn cleaner machine in which she caught her foot.  They meet back up with Reid and go to the barn.   Aviva stops, looks inside the barn and says “I can’t believe that this little mother f**ker did this to me.”  I wonder if she learned that in prison.   She asks Becky to turn the machine on, so that she can hear the noise it makes and how it operates.  She then tells Becky how the visit has been very cathartic.  In her talking head, Aviva says that she’s not afraid of it anymore, that she’s not falling apart anymore.  Maybe she shouldn’t have waited 36 years.

Empress

Thank you Empress – MTH

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Note: Make sure you have the full story here

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Posted in Real Housewives of New York | 304 Comments
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