Ladies of London – Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

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Ladies Of London

S1E8  “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner”

  By HydrangeaHussy

Last week we left off with Caroline’s dinner party.  Caprice had decided to attend so that she and Caroline could hash things out before Caprice left for the US.  Noelle had inadvertently (or intentionally) stirred the pot by telling Caprice that Caroline wasn’t happy that Marissa and Noelle were throwing Caprice a shower.  Remember, Caroline was supposed to throw the shower, but Caprice declined it when Caroline refused to hold it in a restaurant in London.

Back at dinner, Juliet and Julie call Noelle out for whispering at the table.  That’s definitely an etiquette class no-no.  Caroline thinks that Caprice’s problem has to do with Caroline’s relationship with the Americans.  I think that she may be a little jealous that Caroline has been so taken by the Americans.  Caprice thinks that the whole thing is ridiculous and wants it all resolved.  She arrives to dinner late, greeting Julie first, which Caroline thinks is very rude.  Caprice notices that Caroline didn’t stand to greet her.  I think they were both a little rude, but it’s understandable because of the tension.  Juliet doesn’t like that Caprice arrived late, expecting the red carpet to be rolled out.  She isn’t going to like anything Caprice does.  The dinner is super awkward from that point on.  Caroline had prepared a vegan meal, but Caprice didn’t acknowledge the gesture.

The ladies move to the end of the patio for drinks.  Caprice tells the women that her surrogate has dilated and the baby will come any time.  She’s leaving in the morning to be with her surrogate.  Juliet tells her to get on a plane immediately.  Caroline wonders why she didn’t immediately rush to the airport.  It can take a while, even after dilation begins, so there wasn’t any rush, as the surrogate told Caprice!  Noelle and Julie go to the loo, and Caroline asks Juliet to leave so she can speak with Caprice.  Caroline begins by noting the elephant in the room – Caprice’s issue with Caroline.  Caprice says that there’s no issue on her side.  Juliet and Julie are spying from around the corner.  Juliet seems to think that Caprice is going to get it from Caroline.  Caroline’s only issue is the baby shower – Caprice asked her to host, then declined the shower because Caroline’s house is so far away.  Caprice says that she never asked Caroline to host a shower.  A lot of he said, she said, and I don’t know who to believe.

Caroline feels that Caprice declining the shower was a way of saying that her shower wouldn’t be good enough.  I think that Caprice had an idea of what she wanted and it wasn’t at Caroline’s house, but that doesn’t mean she thinks Caroline wouldn’t throw a good shower.  Caprice brings up the conversation with Noelle.  She tells Caroline that her feelings were hurt that Caroline would bully the women about throwing Caprice a shower.  Oh lord, the B-word has come out!  Caroline says that Caprice also asked Matt and Marissa to host a baby shower.  Caroline wants to get her phone and show Caprice the messages, but Caprice denies that it happened.  Caroline goes to get her phone, as though proving Caprice wrong is going to help the conversation.  The message shows that Caprice mentioned wanting a shower at Marissa’s restaurant, but it doesn’t say that she asked Matt and Marissa to host.  It sounded to me like she wanted to try to reserve the restaurant for her shower regardless of who was hosting it.  This whole argument is done in soft voices and low tones – there is no screaming or raised voices, a first for Bravo!  These ladies even fight classy!  Caprice sees that this is going nowhere and decides to go home.

LOL S1E8_1Caprice thinks that Caroline is mad because the ladies who Caroline thought were on her team are now throwing Caprice a shower.  I think both of these ladies expected the others to pick a side.  As she leaves, Caprice says that she has something in the car for Marissa, which upsets Caroline even more because Caprice didn’t bring a gift for the hostess.  Marissa notes that there are too many egos involved and points out that all of the drama is about a baby shower that isn’t even going to happen.  She’s managed to stay neutral like Switzerland in all of this!  Back at the sofas, Caroline tells the girls that Caprice just didn’t want to hear anything that she said.  Juliet, of course, agrees with Caroline.  Caroline also notes that Noelle stirred things up by telling Caprice that Caroline bullied the ladies.  Poor Noelle – she should have kept her mouth shut!  I don’t think she intended to stir the pot, she just so badly wants to be everyone’s friend!  Juliet says that Caprice likes to believe certain things and will manipulate the truth to suit her.  She then says that she’s happy not be involved in baby-shower-gate.  When Noelle approaches, Caroline asks what she told Caprice.  Noelle says that she never called Caroline a bully.  Caroline tells Noelle that she can’t play both sides – “don’t come here, drink my wine, spend my day here, be friend, and then go and do that behind my back.”   Noelle is pissed that Marissa has managed to slip under the radar in all of this.  Umm, because Marissa has remained neutral, while Noelle has kind of stirred things up.

Caprice talks to Marissa and Julie outside.  She tells the girls that she asked Caroline why she gave Marissa and Noelle a hard time.  Marissa kind of understands why Caroline is upset because Marissa has come in and taken over Caroline’s duty.  She also reminds Caprice that Caprice did call after the 4th of July party.  Caprice blames pregnancy brain, but Marissa isn’t buying it.  Noelle comes outside and tells the ladies that she was just confronted by Caroline.  She tells Caprice that Caroline believes Noelle called her a bully.  Caprice wants to clear the record – she called Caroline a bully, not Noelle.  Marissa goes back inside and tells Caroline that Noelle is upset and that she didn’t call Caroline a bully.  She seems to have straightened it out, but Caprice wants to be sure that Noelle isn’t getting blamed.  Caprice returns, telling Caroline that she was the one who called Caroline a bully, but Caroline is over it.  “Does she have an ounce of dignity left?”  She points out that Caprice wasn’t there, so she doesn’t know what happened.  Caprice says that, based upon what she heard, she felt that the ladies were being bullied.  She calmly tells Caroline that her feelings were hurt that Caroline would question the ladies’ moment.  “If you want to call me a bully, please leave and give me a call.”  Caprice says that she hoped to sort things out for Noelle, but Caroline interjects that they were having a lovely time.  When Caprice leaves, Caroline tells Noelle that she needs to think before she speaks.  Caroline thinks that Caprice is using Noelle, and isn’t really her friend.  Oh yeah, lovely time.

The next day, we learn that the Duchess of Cambridge is in labor.  Marissa calls to check on Noelle.  Noelle feels bad for putting herself in the middle and plans to stay out of it from now on.  Marissa is on baby-watch, waiting for Prince George to arrive.  Later on, Marissa travels to the hospital.  She talks to some guys that have been camped out for 2 weeks, waiting on the royal baby.  I’ve said it before – I LOVE that Marissa so fully embraces British culture.  We see the announcement read – there is a new prince!

LOL S1E8_2Juliet arrives with her kids at Caroline’s for a sleepover.  Caroline tells her that she feels a little vindicated, since Caprice didn’t address her first and Caprice brought Marissa a gift.  I guess now everyone sees how rude Caprice is?  Juliet agrees, saying that Caprice tries to manipulate people to get them on her side.  Caroline is glad that Juliet didn’t get involved.  But she kind of did, since she’s there bashing Caprice right along with Caroline.  Noelle calls and wants to be done with everything.  She genuinely likes both Caroline and Caprice, but she feels that she can’t make both of them happy.  Caroline thinks that Noelle has learned not to play both sides, which never helps anyone.  Noelle doesn’t want to have to pick sides.  Juliet feels that Noelle is a good girl, but is a little star-struck by Caprice.

Caprice is packing to go to the states for the births of her children.  She is still upset about Caroline, but she has too much to do.  Annabelle calls Caprice.  She’s feeling a little better after her accident.  Caprice fills her in on the dinner, saying that Caroline brought up the shower again and was very mean about it.  Caprice tells Annabelle that she truly believes Caroline was a bully by trying to manipulate the ladies to be on her side.  Annabelle says that calling her a bully was pretty harsh.  Annabelle tells Caprice that she sees some competiveness between Caprice and Caroline, but Caprice doesn’t see it.  She doesn’t know why she would compete with Caroline – she looks great, has a successful business, and has her own fame.  Annabelle urges Caprice to clear the air, but Caprice doesn’t want any toxic people in her life.

LOL S1E8_3Caprice and Ty are going to LA for 3 months.  They will return with 2 baby boys.  Maribel, her housekeeper, is holding down the fort in London.  In LA, Caprice is going to the hospital, where her surrogate is in labor.  She is with her surrogate all day, checking in outside of the room.  Finally, the baby arrives and Caprice is able to hold her first son.  She tears up in the TH when talking about her fears leading up to the birth.  Now all she has to do is give birth herself!

LOL S1E8_4Back in Surrey, Annabelle’s coach brings her racing silks and Julie visits.  Annabelle is still on crutches, but is able to get around.  She is returning to London on Monday.  The race has happened, without Annabelle.  She’s been pushing herself and wants to ride again.  She is so positive about it – truly inspirational! The McQueen silks are amazing and Annabelle plans to wear them in the race next year.  She says that she doesn’t like to ask for help, but that she’s been forced to after the accident and it has changed her outlook on people.  I’ve really come to like and respect Annabelle.  At first I thought she would be stuck-up, but I now think that she just takes some time to let people in.

LOL S1E8_5Caprice is at her house in LA with her baby.  She is going into labor herself and is off to the hospital.  She looks amazing, even though she’s labor.  Junior #2 is born!  The look of pure love and amazement on Caprice’s face is beautiful.  She wonders what she’s done in her life to deserve two perfect boys.  Once both boys are home, Caprice takes to being a mom naturally.  She has spoken to Julie and Annabelle.  Marissa sent her flowers.  Caprice hasn’t heard from anyone else.  Having the boys makes her realize that nothing else matters.

The London ladies are off to the Audi Polo Cup, which is full of celebrities.  It’s the last party of the summer before everyone leaves on holiday.  Boujis is sponsoring a party, so all of the ladies are invited.  Noelle asks about Caprice and Marissa tells them that she’s had the babies.  Julie suggests that they all get together when Caprice returns.  Juliet feels that Caprice has created a divide in the group.  She just can’t help herself.  It’s quite obvious which side Juliet has chosen.  Julie thinks that they should give Caprice the benefit of the doubt because she was pregnant, but Juliet doesn’t think things will change.  Marissa agrees that behavior and priorities change with motherhood.

Noelle:  This summer has been tricky for her, but she realizes that she needs to be more strategic in her thinking and actions.  The court ruled that Scot’s worth is 40 million pounds and awarded his ex-wife 20 million pounds.  He also proposed to Noelle with a 6 carat, flawless diamond.

The ladies go to watch polo and see Prince Charles in his box.

Juliet:  She isn’t going to change her American ways, but she has learned that sometimes you have to be a little British too.  Her family is staying in London and she hasn’t taken any more etiquette lessons.

LOL S1E8_7The girls end up on the big screen – Julie and Marissa wave, while Juliet looks mortified.

Caroline arrives for the Boujis party.  The ladies first sit in the bleachers to catch up, then they are dancing and having a great time.

Marissa: Her relationships have changed and grown.  She feels that she’s earned her stripes as her own person, rather than Matt’s wife.  They have a second son now.  Caroline is going to stay on the Cavalli yacht in August.

Caroline:  She is sad that her relationship with Caprice has changed so much, but is glad that she met the American girls.  She hasn’t spoken to Caprice since the dinner party.

Caprice:  She says that there will be a different Caprice in the future, so watch out.  She and Ty are back in London with their boys.  She never had a baby shower.

Annabelle:  She has learned to appreciate life since the accident.  Her injury is healing and she’s regaining mobility.

LOL S1E8_8No word on whether there will be reunion, but I’m hoping there will be!  These ladies have quickly become immensely popular with Bravo fans.  I’m also hoping for a Season 2!

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Many thanks to HydrangeaHussy for taking a chance on another new show to bring us Season 1 of Ladies Of London!

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Real Housewives of New York – The Last Leg

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Real Housewives Of New York

S6E20 “The Last Leg”

By realhousewifeofaiken

Sonja is propped up on her bed while her interns, Pickles and Tyler, ice her swollen ankle.  This is why they need GPAs above 3.2 – to attend to Madame Morgan who falls off her stilettos after another night of drunken foolishness.   She tells Ramona and Kristen how she chased a cab carrying LuAnn and Harry through the streets of New York, only to fall on her face, then had Tyler and another young lad carry her sorry butt back home.  Every other cabbie in the city must have been busy that night.Kristen Taekman, Sonja Morgan

Josh and Kristen are at home, where, oddly enough, he is holding a meeting with an associate about their plans for a billboard for eBoost.  Kristen wants to be the young, hot model for the campaign, and, of course, lands the job.   During the photo shoot, the photographer tells her to look orgasmic and she explains how she can fake an orgasm.  She can add it to her resumé.

Sonja has to make plans for her big “Team Sonja” party and slides down the stairs of her house with Marley in her harms.   Marley had a friend put a little instructional video together on how to make it down a flight of stairs when you’re unable or unwilling to walk.  You can watch it here:  Lazy Dog Slides Down Stairs  When she finally hits the ground floor, she greets LuAnn so that she can straighten things out about Harry’s mysterious disappearance from the Carole’s party, supposedly with LuAnn.  LuAnn swears that she wants nothing to do with Harry Dubin – been there, done that – and that maybe Sonja needs to put a leash on him.   Sonja intends to confront Harry.

Heather and Carole are at Love, Alex, looking at a line of handbags.  They also talk about Heather’s son, Jax, and the level of success he could achieve with surgery on his ears.  A second doctor wasn’t quite as optimistic as the first and Heather doesn’t know which one to believe.  Carole tells her to go with the one she trusts more.  Heather says that Jax  doesn’t think his ears are so bad and she wonders if she should just trust her son’s instincts.

Sonja and Harry have their sit-down and Sonja tells him how upset she was that he left her behind at the party after giving her a friendship ring.   He apologizes and says it was stupid and that he thought she’d meet up with them later.  She reaches into her purse and hands the ring back to him, telling him that this is the end of Harry and Sonja.

Carole’s apartment renovation is complete and her kitchen is no more.  It’s now her office.  When Heather and Kristen arrives the talk is all about Aviva.  I don’t know why, other than they’ve found out that she’s going to the “Team Sonja” party.  Kristen thinks Aviva is an outsider, as she’s really been out of the loop, and has missed just about everything the ladies have done for most of the season.  The three agree that they’re confused about her myriad ailments which seem to appear and disappear just as quickly.  Carole says that she’ll be politely rude because it’s been like a vacation without Aviva around.   It really has.

Bravo treated us to a little filler where Ramona and Carole discussed dating.  Ramona wanted Carole to know that Fabio, from Harlequin novel and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter fame,  chased her for a while.  She also told Carole that she and Marion were like a thunderbolt when they met.  They still have hot sex.  The word on the street is that sometimes it’s with each other.

It’s time for the “Team Sonja” party at Le Cirque.  The guests are there, but the hostess is not.   “Team Sonja” is an eclectic mix of folks – an image guru, a dog groomer, a plastic surgeon, various psychics, Satoko the facialist,  ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, and Aviva.  Aviva makes an entrance, accompanied by ominous music, which sets off a new round of chatter among the other ladies.  When she does arrive, Sonja is surrounded by a herd of interns.  According to her talking head,  she’s up to her eye teeth in business deals, all of which are in contract stage.  She may be using the interns as collateral.Sonja Morgan

Sonja has written a speech for the event and Ramona is upset that she didn’t take some time to greet her guests first,  Sonja ignores her and starts reading what she’s written.  It a rambling novella, much like her Bravo blogs, all about her aura and her brand and the people who make up her Team.   Some of the ladies, understandably, giggled though it.   When she finally finished her salute to all of those who made Sonja the woman she is today, she made a beeline to Aviva to make sure that she was still riled up over the others.  Sonja calls them emotional vampires and Aviva says that they’re all mad at her.   The entire group finally gets together and Aviva tells them she’s lost an unplanned 10 pounds.   Kristen says that asthma should make you gain weight but she’s still that pretty tool in the shed.

When they sit down, the ladies confront Aviva over all of her issues.  Kristen says that this is more than asthma and Aviva tells Kristen that she’s been a horrible persons.  Carole says that no one believes Aviva.  Aviva then tells the group that her doctor lied to her.  She has an x-ray with her name on them but says the doctor forged them.  They didn’t look like chest x-rays to me, but I’m afraid to tell Aviva what I think.   She then throws the x-ray at Heather.  One brave soul said that it looked like an x-ray of her breast implants. Kristen Taekman

Aviva isn’t quite through and says that her doctor forces her to take asthma medicine and that they should call him to get the truth.   She takes her argument, and storyline, full circle and begins hollering about Carole and the ghost writer nonsense.   As if she hadn’t made a complete fool of herself by this time, she then shouts that there’s only one thing fake about her and slams her fake leg onto the table.  LuAnn is laughing hysterically.  Kristen wants to vomit.  Aviva, who has lost whatever dignity and sense of pride she might have had left, further insults them and us by picking up the leg and throwing it across the room.  Way to go, Aviva.  That’ll teach ‘em for doubting your sanity.   She then looks around at her audience and asks if they’d be happy if she just crawls home now.  Assuring her that that is exactly what they don’t want, Carole picks the leg up off the floor, hands it back to Aviva and tells her that this isn’t right.  And it isn’t – on any level.   The only thing she didn’t do was mention the Kennedys but maybe she saves that for her Twitter rants. Carole Radziwill

All I could think about was Heather Abbott, the woman with the prosthetic leg from Boston and how she was feeling after this.  Carole says, “It ain’t over til the fat lady sings or the crazy bitch throws her leg down.”  If you care, this is Aviva’s explanation as to why she threw her leg.  http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/the-dish/aviva-explains-why-she-threw-her-leg  Okay, whatever.   The joke is on us.

Next week is part one of the reunion.

Empress

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Posted in Real Housewives of New York | 146 Comments

Real Housewives Of New York Cast Blogs

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S6E19 Cast Blogs Blogged by

Ramonacoaster

 

Kristen: This Show Has Helped My Marriage

Dinner with Heather and Jonathan. I am so happy that Heather and I were able to hash it out and that she accepted my apology. Looking back at this fight was very hard. It sucks arguing with a good friend, but I feel that we have come full circle — and it was great that our husbands could be in on it.

I don’t even know what the argument was about.  Heather was three sheets to the wind and you usually ignores what drunk people say.  You pay attention when they are sober. 

I feel like I am airing a bunch of dirty laundry at this dinner with the Josh as I talk about moving back to NY from LA, etc., but, well, it came up and it’s on my mind. I wanted Heather to understand that I am very supportive, but it just reaches a point where you want to feel that same support on the other end. Work is work.

What about Josh?  Shouldn’t he understand?  Heather pretty much became the husband surrogate.

Dr. Giese’s Office: Light, tight, and right. I agree Miss Morgan 100 percent: who would have thought that I would be friendly with Ramona at this point? Right? Wow. Boobs and Botox — that’s the extent of it for me!

Isn’t that what surprises people on the NY housewives?  Getting along with Ramona?

Making dinner for Josh: We decided on a date night. I said I would cook, and I did. Josh got stuck at work and didn’t call. He had a really bad conference call — I get it. I just want a head’s up. When I make the effort, I want my husband to do the same. Did you notice how when I hung up on Josh I snapped at our kid? Ugh not cool.

Yeah, that sucks. 

Anybody want to come over for dinner? Doesn’t it look like it would be yummy? Ha! But at least I made the effort, and for Josh to see that it was like therapy for him. He really opened his eyes to how important it is to communicate, to be respectful of my efforts, and to find a better way to handle all the stress from work.

He is selling and promoting a health drink.  Stress is anti-health.

Marriage is hard work. It has its ups and downs. I think it’s really hard when your children are young — lots of stress and pressure. This show was one of the best things that happened to us. Getting a bird’s eye view on our marriage is just what we needed. Turns out watching our arguments has been the best therapy for us. At the end of the day, Josh and I love and support each other, and I couldn’t have done any of this with out him. He also realizes how he needs to separate work from family and how important it is for he and I to connect. It’s been great for both of us.

We’ll see if you don’t add to the housewives divorce rate. 

Birdland: It was very sweet and romantic that Mario sang for Ramona. Birdland is iconic What Ramona was saying about Lu and her singing was very rude (big surprise)! Not nice at all.

Lu needs autotune.  Enough said. 

But Heather, OMG! Damn, of course Heather can sing and bring the house down. Holla Momma!

Of course, she’s good at everything. 

LuAnn: I Sing When I Feel Like Singing

I think Sonja’s relationship with Harry is a long one. They are more friends than anything, as I see Harry stepping out with other women all the time. He’s even been dating a friend of mine recently, so I don’t think their relationship is serious in the least. I know Sonja would like things to be different but that’s not the reality of the situation. Harry is not the kind to settle down. He’s a player! Its a good thing Sonja has other men like 23-year-old Ben to keep her busy!

I guess you have to meet Harry in person to see the appeal because it doesn’t come off on screen. 

Things between Jacques and myself have been getting tense lately. We have been bickering a lot more recently. We are working on improving that, and I hope that it will. Jacques and I both love each other very much, but I’m wondering if we can go the distance? We are just at different places in our lives for the moment, so it’s hard! I expected the photo shoot to go a lot more smoothly, but that wasn’t the case. We are both learning that we need to do some work to make the relationship last. The photos did turn out great, and I am grateful to Christophe von Hohenberg, the photographer, for being the easy going friend that he is and making it work regardless of how we felt about each other that day. The dogs were happy! Check out his work at ChristopheVonHohenberg.com. He’s taken many pictures in ’70s and ’80s of celebrities and rock stars around NYC and has a new book out!

French accents gets tiring to hear sometimes. 

The truth is I really wasn’t up to singing that night because I had a fight with Jacques that day and thats why he wasn’t there. I just wasn’t in the mood and Ramona pushing me only made it worse. I sing when I feel like singing, not when someone demands I sing. Ramona was just awful to me, and I felt like crying not singing. Ramona would of thrown me under the bus whether I sang or not. That’s just how Ramona is with me — horrible — and I don’t care what she thinks of me!

It sounds like you got wind of some plot to compare you and Mario. 

I thought Heather was amazing and I love her for getting up there and belting out her tune. I’m proud of her, and that’s what friends are for. I actually got up and sang “Hey Big Spender” later that night after Heather. She inspired me to get up there, and it actually felt great to sing. Sorry you missed it!

Did the cameras leave first?  Is that why you sang?

I thought Mario singing to Ramona was very sweet! I really wanted to give him the limelight that night, as I knew he’d been practicing and wanted it to be his night. No thanks from Ramona for that one, of course. I actually sang one night with Mario out at a restaurant in the past, and I know he loves the Sinatra stuff. It’s great that he likes to sing. Maybe he can go on the road with Sonja soon?

Sonja is a one woman show. 

Billy Stritch the accompanist and I have sung together in the past at Jim Caruso’s cast party at Town Hall on Broadway to benefit Broadway cares equity fights AIDS. I sang Natalie Cole’s “Love,” which I’ve done on our show in the past! I actually sang after Chita Rivera and before Liza Minnelli. It was truly a great evening! He really is the best piano player around and has worked with many, many Broadway stars — so I was so happy to see Heather living it up with him on stage and holding her own. Holla!!!! Bravo Heather!

It was Mario and Heather’s night to shine.

Nothing Is Too Romantic for Sonja

I try to make my intern hiring process as daunting as possible to discourage any applicants from thinking that it’s all fun and games — because I’m in the business of being entertaining with Sonja in The City and my charity work. Some of the more naive types think my behind-the-scenes work is light and fun. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Managing my homes, investments, personal affairs, sorting through potential opportunities, and maintaining my philanthropic endeavors (all while keeping my daughter as my number one priority) makes for a challenging day at work. Therefore, when I choose an intern — before they even make it to the daunting interview experience — I look for a very high GPA, combined with previous intern experience and hopefully some job experience. And, most definitely, charity work is a must on their résumé. Then, I look to their major, minor, other interests, and what they’re hoping to gain by interning with me. If I’m going to spend my time showing them the ropes, I need to know that they’re going to put it to good use and that it would apply to the right field. Having said that, good life lessons always apply — like learning how to schedule!

So much work for free labor.

I didn’t think telling Aviva about what everyone said about her on the trip was going to spark a reaction. I wanted to her to be prepared. I wanted to tell Aviva that everyone was doubting her illness, and I felt that it wasn’t healthy and that she should be warned. What I have seen since St. Barth’s is Aviva making positive changes. The girls are not experts in the medical field nor in psychology. I feel that it should be left to Aviva’s doctors and other experts, which she’s been clearly advised by. Giving Aviva the head’s up would give her the strength and ammunition she would need to keep it together should a confrontation occur. Believe me, I have been there for all of their “concernings.” It doesn’t help you get ahead. In fact, it can set you back if you’re not strong-minded. The girl clearly has asthma, among other illnesses.

I think you got the crazy wheels spinning in Aviva’s head.  This  is definitely going to lead to a confrontation. 

It’s never too young to start speaking to professionals about cosmetic procedures and to plan ahead. I like to be educated and know my options. Ever since being a young model, I have always availed myself of what information is out there, however I am extremely cautious in my approach. I know that Kristen has been considering using Botox, and certainly Dr. Giese is someone that she could consider as a practioner. There are so many different ways to use Botox, and different doctors have different techniques.

I think if you can use non-invasive techniques early on it would be better.  Botox to me seems so extreme. 

I have to be very careful with Botox because I’m known for my expressions and I have to perform at my different Sonja In The City events, appearances, and sometimes for my charity work. There are so many different machines on the market, I don’t know where to begin! When I go to see Dr. Neil Sadick, he has one machine. Dr. Giese has a different machine. Dr. Kassir has another machine! I have yet to try the vampire facial. Everyone is doing that where they inject your own blood into your face! Even my doctor Erika Schwartz has machines to monitor and increase life longevity and make me more beautiful.

How would you judge how fast you would have aged had you not done the procedures?

Ramona and LuAnn have a very special relationship. It’s very passive-aggressive. Why Ramona decided to badger LuAnn about not getting up to perform, I don’t know. Why does she ever badger LuAnn? LuAnn always gives a great performance with or without practice.

She likes giving Lu some competition.  She went wild when she found out Carole was a princess and outranked Luann.

Ramona and I have always shared the bathroom — with or without Mario around. So when I said I’ve heard Mario sing in the shower, I wasn’t kidding. Mario’s performance was incredibly romantic and made me tear up. It’s wonderful to have tens of years of marriage together. I’m surprised the other girls said that it was too romantic. Nothing can be too romantic. I love LOVE!

I’m sure after hearing Mario’s shenanigans in the gossip columns they were wondering if he was singing to his goomah.

I thought Heather’s performance was off the charts, but I wouldn’t say she’s a better singer than LuAnn. I think they are both great performers and I enjoy watching both of them and being a part of it.

Well look who’s Switzerland. 

Heather’s Sasha Fierce Moment

Yee Haw! The trip was really a lot of fun, outside of all the drama mama, and it was beautiful! But I’m happy to be back in the saddle I know the best, with my hubby and our delicious littles, both hands on the wheel at Yummie and my feet planted firmly in NYC — the place I really belong! I loved the adventures Montana brought us and although I still didn’t entirely understand my dust-up with Kristen so much, I knew we were all good. Jonathan, who was entirely innocent of any wrong doing, still caught an arrow from her, too, but he didn’t care. He thought it was funny and we all understood that whatever went down was hard for her. I thought it was nice we could spend some time together as couples after a silly scuffle. To sit down for dinner and laugh about it. . .but I should be so lucky. Kristen is at me for being bossy again! OK whatever — you are bossy and I am the boss, as Jon says (so cute making light of the situation).

What choice does he have?  You’re the boss, clearly.

Kristen wants Josh’s support. We can see that. When she describes our fight and feels Josh was taking my side, she was missing the point that assertiveness is a part of my personality. It’s not that she was wrong and I was right. The fight was behind us and I wanted to move on. But now I realize that Kristen just wanted my support too. As she was explaining the many sacrifices she’s made for Josh and their family, I got it. Kristen picked up, gave up, packed up, and uprooted her life twice! That is not easy. I also know that she and Josh are having struggles and it’s all lopsided. Things are coming out wrong. There is stress for Josh to provide for his family and pressure for Kristen to find her footing when she’s mumming more than modeling — there is tension because they are not aligning and Josh isn’t handling the situation well.

Sounds like Josh’s business is not doing so well. 

Entrepreneurs like Josh, who are natural at building relationships, use their talents to access resources (internally and externally), and to grow their business. I get it. So I try to explain the one thing I think can help: this is the way Josh’s mind is working. Kristen is experiencing “entrepreneurial behavior”:

1. Opportunity recognition: I am starting a new company.

2. Resource acquisition and venture creation: We are moving back to NY.

3. Firm expansion and growth, which is the phase EBOOST is in now: Not only will I be late for dinner, but I’m also not going to call and let you know.

Yes, this may appear to be habit forming but it’s not, it’s just a phase. I’m not saying it’s right, but I am saying I understand it. I’ve been through it myself with my own start up and six years into business I still experience phases, with every new growth cycle, where you bust your ass to see your vision through. It’s usually not convenient and it’s usually not scheduled. But Kristen isn’t biting my worm. I’m trying to help her gain perspective but instead she just sees me and Josh not supporting her and now we’re both not doing a good job — and my lecture in “The Process of Entrepreneurship” is entirely missed!

They are definitely not communicating properly because it seems Josh is putting down Kristen for not being a business person where she couldn’t care less about being a business person but would appreciate some respect and consideration.

And all that jazz. . .

We were invited to Birdland to join Mario at open mic night, which I thought he was throwing. Ramona was enlisting people to sing too, and invited Lu and I to join the fun! What I did not realize was that Mario was not hosting — Birldand was! And the likes of the other people that were performing: mind blowing! Billy Stritch on piano!?! I mean, come on people! This ain’t no karaoke! There’s no machine, there is no teleprompter, and there is no chance Ramona is going to let up on LuLu for choosing not to sing. And I’m now sh–ting my pants. Ramona’s behavior is totally garish and unapologetic and thankfully Lu didn’t let her get the best of her with all she’s got going on with Jacques. But then I realize the pressure really is on me!

Ramona’s behavior shouldn’t surprise you anymore. 

I really had no idea what I committed to and when that man called my name and asked if I’d take the stage I had an out-of-body experience. Nothing like walking up to a microphone in a sparkling dress and saying sh–balls! It was my Sasha Fierce moment, and when I took the stage and the music started, I forgot about everything! The diva performer in me came out, which comes from my dad. I had dedicated the song to him and gave it all I had! Too bad I don’t remember a thing! I swear, it was like I blacked out. I remember nothing from that performance except Jonathan’s face and Billy Stritch. And Lu sitting in the audience instead of fronting my backup vocals!

You’ve acquitted yourself well.

Aviva Defends Her Asthma

In the real world when a group of women are invited on a trip and one is not feeling well, the usual and appropriate response is, “Sorry you can’t come. Hope you feel better!” Generally among real-life friends there is some care and concern for the feelings and health of others. When the group returns and reunites with the one who wasn’t feeling well, a typical response is “How are you feeling?” from those who went away. Or “Hope the trip was great!” from the one who didn’t go.

Well, at least the trip wasn’t about you getting there and needing a parade thrown in your honor. 

But this is Housewifeland. In Housewifeland when one falls ill, your friends say, “You are a liar, and I hope you die, and you can’t have asthma. You have some pathological sick disease that is emotionally based!” In Housewifeland it’s impossible that a change in altitude could exacerbate an already severe condition. In Housewifeland everyone is a doctor except for the New York State board certified pulmonologist who urged the asthmatic sufferer not to go on the trip based on very sophisticated Pulmonary Function Tests, exams etc.

Heather can sing in Housewifeland when you call her up on stage. 

Poor Carole. She googled and came up with some serious disease I must have instead of asthma. What makes Carole so angry and vindictive? What is she missing in her life to cause her to put so much venom in her writing? How does she even come up with this sh–? Alternate diseases that one only hears about on Lifetime TV? The big shot journalist with a 20-year career Googles for information? Carole has a wild imagination. Did she call or “google” the Kennedy family when she needed stories for her own memoir? Would she call this “research” a new definition of “journalism.” It seems like “journalism” as defined by Carole today is as simple as googling….

Another potshot at Carole’s memoirs.  Munchausen has been featured in many medical dramas and it finally appears on a reality show.  Let’s hear it for Munchausen disease. 

Having watched the trip, I am really thankful I didn’t go. Looked like a complete bore. And anyway, with friends like Heather, Carole, and Kristen, who are preoccupied with disliking me, why are they so bent out of shape that I didn’t go? I can’t imagine I would have felt even the slightest bit welcome. Their accusations speak volumes about their own character and how they function as a clique.

I would have been nervous watching you handle a hatchet. 

Ramona: Where Did the Time Go With Avery?

I was amused by all of Carole’s requests for her party. I entertain constantly at my homes. To me, a successful party is not built not upon the ambiance, but rather the correct combination of guests, alcoholic beverages, and, naturally, great food. We know Carole does not eat, so she could care less about that LOL.

I think the only food I saw at the party was the cake and the apples Mario was juggling.  Cocktails were flowing aplenty.  I guess she likes a liquid diet. 

I thought Heather had the patience of a saint with Carole and did a great job of pulling everything together. I really don’t know what happened to LuAnn and Heather’s voices that night. They were both so off-key. It must of been too much tequila on their parts!

That whole singing thing looked awkward.  Tequila numbs everything so it’s not like they’d notice.

When Avery called me in to help her pack, the reality of her leaving was finally here. It was a very emotional moment helping Avery pack for college. It’s the first major move to her adulthood and separation from her family.

30 pairs of shoes. You realize you only have two feet.  Unless your Aviva and you have a closet full.

Taking her to the airport, I was flooded with emotions. How did this happen so fast? Where did the time go? It seemed like yesterday I was still picking her up at kindergarten.

Harry and Sonja always had a special bond. I was happy to hear he wanted to make a commitment to making a commitment. . .And it may not of been “the ring” but it was at least a ring. To each their own and whatever works.

The ring didn’t even look real.  I would have put it in my purse too.

Carole: God Gave me a Great Ass and His Approval

Dear Viewers and Fans,

I know. I didn’t have a recap last week. I’m in Europe and time zones and jet lag and cross-continental cocktails are taking their toll. I have a few thoughts about last week, though.

First, I had no idea that entrepreneur rhymes with manure! I pronounce it Entrepre-noor (rhymes with door). Have I been mispronouncing this word my whole life? I love when I learn from the show.

Does that have anything to do with sh-t?

Second, last week’s episode didn’t inspire me. It happens near the end of the season, I think. I have Housewife recap fatigue. Sonja was also fatigued from reading all of those emails all day. She needed a break so she asked Aviva over to tell her we all talked about her in Montana. If by “the whole time” Sonja meant “for a few minutes at dinner one night,” then, yes. We were talking about Aviva the whole time. Ramona took it so far as a possible phone call, but by the time she walked back into the Antlers, to make the call (eight seconds later), we were all bored with asthma so didn’t bother to call or even think of it again. The whole time? I laugh when the recap of the event never matches the scene.

The recap did what it meant to do which was to get Aviva into a frothy rage. 

Have you noticed that Sonja’s stories never track?

Her stories are definitely over exaggerated and sometimes not based in reality (kind of ironic since it’s reality tv).  Seriously?  Let’s go back to watching soaps.

It’s My Party and I’ll Have Butterflies If I Want To

Wait, I’m in London in real life and also in reality life. Life imitating life imitating art. Weird coincidence? Or maybe not.

I didn’t catch any of that.

Yes, I left instructions! I was landing in NY one day before the party, there was no room for error. I’m a perfectionist and also, BOSSY. Kate and Eric are clever, but I had to call in the Big Guns. As the old adage goes, if you want something done give it to the busiest person you know. Holla!

Well, Sonja went to Heather for help last season so I guess it is your turn this season.  Surprise! There are no fights over sexy Js since there’s no J in your name.  Maybe a sexy E?  Not everyone spells their name Carol with an E at the end.  It’s the E that makes it unique.  You may need another marketing person or the viewers to make the E sexy. 

I know you’ve all noticed and I’m coming clean right now, so don’t tweet that I’m a hypocrite. Yes. Heather and I have the same glasses. I copied her. Or she copied me. We bought them together at Moscot on 6th Avenue. We both loved them and we both bought them.

I guess it’s okay when you and Heather copy each other but with Aviva it’s creepy.  I don’t blame you.

But apparently Heather and I do not share that same love of butterflies and chandeliers hanging in trees lit by a low rising Harvest moon. Who doesn’t love that? Option # Last. What? Sonja didn’t get a permit to throw Milou’s ashes into the river so I don’t see how my little butterflies would be a problem.

The butterflies were going to be ashes soon anyways.  Poor things.  Died in transit?

Love Me Tender

I admire the subconscious not-so-subtle message in Kristen’s Love Me Tender sweatshirt. Don’t all married couples have this exact same conversation at some point in their relationship, or maybe at several points, and maybe minus the bag?

Wife: You take me for granted.

Hubby: You don’t understand the pressure I’m under at work.

Wife: You ignore me.

Hubby: You don’t understand the pressure I’m under at work.

Wife: I don’t mind if you ignore me as long as you buy me a Chanel bag.

Does that sound familiar to you? Maybe this will too. “Where’s my f—ing Chanel bag?” You’ll thank me next week.

Much better to buy your own Chanel bag.

The Devil Wore Prada

Yes, I’m the devil in disguise. You got me. The devil is always the one trying to lighten the mood. The one who shows up in a bear costume, the one who dresses up like a mermaid to raise money for hurricane victims, the one who hooks up with a girlfriend’s ex….oops wait. That wasn’t me, that was Sonja. My bad. I’m the devil.

Confirmation! Sonja did hook up with Russ.

It’s My Party and Lu Can Cry If She Wants To

I’m BOSSY. Yes. But the place looks amazing. There was a harvest moon, headless mannequins, candelabras, chandeliers, antique lace, and Spanish moss. The snake handler got held up and the butterflies came dead. We still came out ahead.

I was waiting for Lady Chablis to show up.  She showed up for the Atlanta housewives. 

Another engagement! That makes three just this season. Although mine has the most credibility because I called it what it was. . .a joke. Three engagements and no marriages. The Bachelor has better odds.

More like non-existent commitments.

Where was my toast? It didn’t make the cut. Were you interested in my toast? It was my party after all! I gave a toast and you missed it. It was funny and better in person than on paper. I twirled and did other embarrassing sorts of stuff. I said nice things about all the ladies. They all loved it. Here. Read it out loud in a mirror and remember to check out your great ass. Because you have one, too.

Another problem with editing – this would have been nice to include in the show instead of the constant bickering.

50 Never Looked So Good

“Welcome to the Garden of Good and Evil. You know which one you are. Thank you for celebrating my birthday. If I knew I was going to have this ass at 50, I would have gone into pole dancing instead of journalism which wasn’t nearly as lucrative. But I have learned a few things. . .

“I’ve always taken my work seriously but for those of you who know me well, I’ve never taken myself seriously. And despite prowling around in the woods like a bear and making my friends dress like mermaids. . .I feel like I’ve grown up, almost.

“Lately I’ve been thinking about the duality of life. The proverbial Midnight, in the Garden of Good and Evil. A place where there’s no generosity without envy; no love without hate; no laughter without also sadness. It’s the duality of courage and fear. As Eleanor Roosevelt said (and I quote her often) ‘Do one thing everyday that scares you.’ I sometimes do five, and not on purpose.

“For Kristen, this duality means throwing yourself off a mountain cliff and having faith that you will land on your feet. It means knowing you’re so much more than a pretty face.

“For LuAnn, it means finding your passion in humor and being unafraid to pursue it, even knowing that the critics abound.

“For Ramona, this means taking comfort in knowing you’ve given your daughter wings large enough to fly higher and further than you could ever have imagined, and finding peace in that.

“For Sonja, it means literally burying the past and allowing yourself a new bright future.

“Lastly, for my dear dearest friend Heather, it means never backing down from what you believe is right. She fights the good fight, whether to save a child’s life, defend a friend, or deal with her own health scares. And she never ever lets you see her sweat.

“For me, it means having the courage to allow true love into my life again. I know, Kristen — a businessman! Or the courage to publish my first work of fiction and not allow jealousy and petty gossip to cloud the truth. I take pride in all of my achievements and now this one, too.

“I’ve learned in my 50th year that objects in your rear view mirror are much much smaller than they appear. Don’t look back. Don’t second guess yourself. Live everyday as if you were dying.

“When I look back on all my experiences, both good and bad — from where I started to where I am now — I suppose none of my life really makes sense, or maybe all of it does. I’m smack in the middle of it now. It’s not my job to understand it yet — it’s just my job to live it.

“I’m living it and loving it and I’m in awe of every moment. I’d like to raise my glass and toast to living life with nothing less than courage and awe.”

_________________________

Season Finale Tonight!

“The Last Leg”

RHONY S6E20

After being swooned and then ditched at Carole’s birthday party, Sonja must confront both Harry and LuAnn about their alleged “night together.” Meanwhile, Kristen pulls some matrimonial strings to get a modeling job. Then, when Aviva returns to the group for the first time in weeks — insults, accusations, and body parts fly in an epic season-ending confrontation.

_________________________

WWHL LOGO

LuAnn, Ramona and Heather

_________________________

Real Housewives Of Orange County, S6E14 will be published at a later date.

_________________________

 

Posted in New York, RHONY Cast Blogs | 256 Comments

Real Housewives Of New Jersey – O, Christmas Tre

 Real Housewives Of New Jersey

S6E2  “O, Christmas Tre”

By HydrangeaHussy

Last week we met our three new housewives: Ter-eh-sa A, Nicole, and Amber.  I’m keeping an open mind and giving these ladies another week or two before I pass judgment, but so far I’m not particularly impressed with any of them.  We begin this week with the first peek at the ladies’ taglines:

Teresa G: You never know how strong you are, until it’s the only choice you have

Melissa: I’ve learned to forgive, and never regret

Teresa A & Nicole: You’re not seeing double, you’re seeing trouble

Amber: I’m a survivor; no one is bringing me down

Dana: I’m back to bring the Zen, Namaste bitches

It’s Christmas time in New Jersey.  The Giudices are putting up their tree.  Teresa is happy to be home and out of the public eye.   She says that they can be normal.  Juicy Joe is the only one working.  Gia is playing with her phone, Teresa is watching, and Milania is isn’t helping because she’s a girl.  Over at the Gorga house, Joe is also putting up the tree.  They’re in a much smaller rental while they build their dream house.  Their oversized Christmas décor isn’t really working in the smaller house.  Melissa is not pleased.  Teresa A. is trying to keep the old traditions alive in her house.  Teresa’s son doesn’t want to go to college, he wants to learn the restaurant business from his father.  The twins’ father believes strongly in keeping the Italian culture alive.  Amber and her kids are making a gingerbread house together.  She’s just as controlling in this as she is in everything.  Children weren’t originally on her agenda because children are disgusting, but now she loves being a mom.  Amber is organizing the perfect Christmas for her kids.  She thinks a perfect and controlled environment is best for her kids.  What fun it must be living in that house!  Dina has a small tree outside because her cats won’t let her have a tree in the house.  I completely understand!  My cat climbs in the tree so we have to tie it to the wall to keep it upright.  They are putting edible ornaments so the animals outside can eat them.  Lexi got accepted to college in Virginia, but NYU is her first choice.  I can’t believe that Lexi is already going to college!

Back at the Giudices, Teresa is trying to make the most of the holiday season.  She tells Juicy that people were discussing her at the harvest party.  He doesn’t care what people say, they have a great family and they will prove their innocence in court.  He tears up a little.  This is the most emotion that I’ve seen from Juicy.  It’s nice to see how much he truly cares about his family.  Teresa is tired of having this court case hanging over them and is ready for resolution.

RHONJ S6E2_1Nicole and Dina go to lunch.  Nicole thinks that they have a lot in common and looks forward to making a new, single friend.  Dina checks her teeth in her knife – super classy.  She tells Nicole that she hasn’t ever dated.  She started dating Tommy only two months after separating from Lexi’s father.  Talk about moving on quickly.  Nicole felt empowered after leaving her husband, but she thinks that Dina doesn’t know what she wants.  Being married was Dina’s identity, now she’s lost that and her daughter is leaving home.  It’s gotta be hard to lose your husband and your daughter at the same time.  Nicole tells Dina that she was crushed when she first left her husband.  She was shocked by some things that she learned afterward.  I wonder if she was cheated on too.  Afterward, she had to move in with her parents and rebuild.  The conversation turns to Amber.  Dina thinks that she’s really sweet.  Nicole says that they’re good friends, but there’s obviously some tension right now.  Nicole chalks that up to the guests she brought to Amber’s party.  She feels like Amber made a big deal out of Nicole inviting other guests.  Nicole is letting it go because she doesn’t want to lose a good friend over one disagreement.  She thinks that Amber is a little OCD.  Ya think?

RHONJ S6E2_2Amber is doing a fire drill with her kids because Christmas is a dangerous time.  Between lights on the tree and candles burning, she’s concerned about fire.  She’s a worst-case-scenario type of mom.  After the drill, they go over how to get out of the house and how to use their ladder.  It’s a good idea to walk your kids through what to do in case of a fire, but their whole method (whistle and timer) seems a little weird.

Melissa and Joe are taking the kids to see their new lot in Franklin Lakes.  They haven’t started clearing the land yet, but have the plans done.  The house will be similar to their old house, but Melissa wants to go more LA-chic with it.  She doesn’t even know what that means, but she keeps saying it.  Teresa and Dina call, they are near the new lot and want to stop by.  Melissa says that they didn’t move to get away from Teresa, despite the clip from the reunion where she says exactly that.  They moved so Joe could be closer to work.  Franklin Lakes was where they started their family, so it’s a special place.  Now that she doesn’t have Kathy and the Manzos to film with, she needs to stay close to Teresa.  Dina is trying to keep an open mind on Melissa because she wants Teresa to get along with her family.  Dina and Melissa are both the babies of their families.  Teresa doesn’t understand why Joe and Melissa move so often, but says that “to each his own.”  I’m actually liking laid-back Teresa.  Melissa says that she’s ready to be settled in a house.  Dina says that her main focus is on Lexi leaving for college, so she doesn’t want to deal with moving at the same time, which is why she’s been separated from Tommy for a year but is still living with him.  That’s a very odd situation to me, but I understand not wanting to uproot Lexi for her senior year.  Joe reminds his sister that he’ll do anything she needs and tells her to call if she needs to talk, but he’s going to stay out of it otherwise.  Teresa says that Gia is the only one who knows what’s going on.  She wants to show Gia to be strong and keep going.  That’s great, but I hate that their legal troubles are affecting Gia.  It’s got to be horrible for someone her age to worry about her parents going to jail.

RHONJ S6E2_3Teresa A is meeting with a designer to go over tile for a new restaurant.  Rino knows about the food, but she knows about the décor.  She’s glad they have money because it brings freedom.  She and Antonino (the designer) want a sexy vibe in the new restaurant.  They agree that tablecloths are needed.  Her son, Giovanni, wants to join the family business, so this will be his place to learn.  Rino takes their son to Angelo’s (the family restaurant) to begin his training, learning the system from the ground up.  It’s cool that they’ve had the restaurant in the family for so long.  It’s truly a family business and Rino’s sister is also there.  Rino walks him through the kitchen, showing him where everything is and how it works.  He has Giovanni make a white clam sauce and pasta for him, which turns out nicely.  I didn’t dislike Rino as much as I did in the last episode.

RHONJ S6E2_4Melissa and Joe are having a holiday dinner with all of the cousins since they are so busy on Christmas.  Rosie, Kathy, and Richie attend.   Thank goodness there won’t be a repeat of the last holiday, where the Gorgas left the Giudice house to go to the Wakiles’.  Kathy hasn’t seen Teresa lately.  Melissa tells Kathy that Teresa doesn’t want to talk about her troubles, but that she’s staying strong and positive.  Rosie agrees that being positive is the only way to get through it.  Kathy was in Italy when she learned about the indictment and she immediately texted Teresa her support.  I wonder how their relationship is now.  Juicy doesn’t seem excited about the dinner, but Teresa points out that it’s Christmas and that family needs to support each other during this time.  She’s over being stressed about family.  Thank goodness!  I couldn’t take another season for Gorga family drama.  Rosie feels awful for what Teresa is going through and worries about the children.  I cannot explain how bad I feel for the kids.  Everyone brought gag gifts to exchange and open.  Teresa got a dictionary.  LOL, the irony is not lost on me!  Melissa says that Teresa needs a dictionary and Teresa doesn’t bite her head off.  Can they really have buried the hatchet?  I bet this is just for TV.  Melissa makes a toast, pointing out how happy she is to see everyone getting along.  It’s nice to see them having fun and not griping about each other.

Rino is making lobster for Teresa and Nicole’s family.  They have family dinner weekly.   That’s a great tradition to have; I still have dinner with my parents weekly.   Rino is taking the opportunity to show Gio how to cook.  He knows that Gio can’t just walk into the restaurant and take over because of his family.  He needs to learn the business, starting in the kitchen.  Way to instill a good work ethic!  So many kids would expect to just take over without working for it.  BTW, what is up with Rino’s   Nicole has lived with her parents for the last three years and is dating Bobby now.  Her parents are concerned about her relationship, which she finds nosy.   It’s never a good sign when your parents are concerned about a man.  She says that she can’t live with them forever.   Her mom doesn’t want her to leave, but thinks it will be good for her.  Nicole says that she won’t move in with Bobby until marriage.

RHONJ S6E2_5It’s Christmas morning at the Giudice’s.  The girls are tearing into their presents, which aren’t as extravagant as they have been in the past.  Teresa tries to get them to open one at a time so they can see them all.  Each of the girls gets a toy puppy.  Gia is upset because she wanted a real puppy.  Audriana seems really pleased with the toy version.  They hear something in the living room and…there’s a real puppy!  I think we all saw that coming.  The poor thing looks so scared when the whole clan comes running at it, lol.  The naming immediately begins.  I hope the girls can keep the puppy if both Teresa and Juciy end up in jail.

Dina doesn’t like Christmas because she’s never had a good one.  She can’t get over Lexi leaving.  Dina doesn’t want Lexi to be too disappointed if she doesn’t get into NYU.  She thinks that they will have a bigger adjustment than most mother/daughters because they’re so close.  Dina has Lexi write NYU on a rock and throw it into the river.  There are other rocks, but I don’t know what was written on them.  The rock throwing has something to do with being open to the universe.  Honestly, I don’t get it.  She has to be open to getting in or not getting in.  Dina is learning to let go and give over to God because she can’t control everything.

RHONJ S6E2_6Nicole and her mother are celebrating Christmas.  She says that Christmas time is always hard because her children are with their father.  Bobby arrives to cheer her up and exchange gifts.  It’s their first Christmas together.  They aren’t a mushy-mushy, gooey-gooey couple.  Nicole gets a shoe-shaped wine bottle holder.  Her mother notes that she saw it at the pharmacy.  The look on Nicole’s face is priceless – she is not impressed with her gift but trying not to show it.  Nicole doesn’t consider herself materialistic, but what your boyfriend gives you can tell you a lot.  I may be materialistic, because if my boyfriend of nine months bought me a wine holder at a drugstore for Christmas, I’d be disappointed.

Melissa is worried that the cold and snow will slow down the building of their house.  It has to warm up some so they can pour the foundation.  Joe says that Melissa isn’t used to a small house.  She has clothes and shoes in every closet and cupboard.  Shoes in the kitchen…really?  Joe wants the house built as quickly as possible, because he can’t take Melissa complaining about the house anymore.  He says that it could take awhile though.  They’re still applying for permits.  I think that Melissa needs to appreciate what they have – their rental is bigger than many people’s home.  It’s not like they’re slumming it.  They go outside to sled with the kids.  Joe gets his tongue stuck to a pole.  Didn’t he watch RHoOC?

RHONJ S6E2_7The Giudice kids are sleeping in one bed with their new puppy.  Teresa is really worried about how they’ll care for the kids in the future.  After the kids are tucked in, the couple has a quiet moment by the fire.  Juicy gives Teresa a card because he remembers how much she likes sweet cards from him.  Juicy wishes that they didn’t have the “little issues.”  He appreciates that Teresa is being strong.  She reminds him that she does worry a lot, and he admits that he worries constantly.  He worries about being away from his girls and Teresa.  She says that the family doesn’t function without him.  Again, it’s nice to see Juicy as a caring father.  I didn’t like the sarcastic, moody, nasty Juicy of last season.

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Posted in Real Housewives of New Jersey | 275 Comments

Don’t Be Tardy – The Biermann Bunch

DBT LOGODBT S3E1_1

Don’t Be Tardy
S3E1  “The Biermann Bunch”

By TexasTart

The show opens with the family at home and Kim proclaims “Today’s the day!”  She and Kroy are loading up the Escalade to go to the hospital for the delivery of their twins.  Kim tells her daughters, Brielle and Ariana to be checking your phone, as she walks out the door, for which Brielle said to her sister, I’m going back to sleep.  Typically teenagers.

Kim Zolciak-Biermann's Twitter

Kim Zolciak-Biermann’s Twitter

Here’s a quick review of what’s been going on since Season 2.  Kim said that Kroy just looks at her and she gets pregnant. No kidding!  They finally moved into their dream home. She brought back her assistant Sweetie to help manage the household along with one Nanny for the kids, named Lana.  She said it’s hard to have a friend work for you but she needs people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy.  The 17,000 square foot home, with 7 bedrooms, 11 baths, with pool and basketball court has 59 security cameras. She doesn’t trust anyone with her kids. The Biermann’s don’t play!   She designed every room in the home.  Kim could be an interior designer (reference the slideshow below).   Kroy, who plays for the Atlanta Falcons football team, tore his Achilles tendon during the second game and was out the rest of the season (he is reported to be on the starting lineup this fall). Kim said “I have two girls with raging hormones, two boys in diapers and two on the way – so buckle up bitches!”

DBT S3E1_4Back to the issue at hand; Kroy is driving Kim who is dealing with contractions, a seat heater, that she is not happy Kroy turned on. She said she’s gained 50 pounds and the pressure on her ho-hah is unbelievable.  She proceeds  to tease Kroy about he’s never going to see her vagina again and he teases her back about how she asked for it.  The first she thought, when she found out she was having twins was wondering how is her body going to do this.  She said contrary to what most people think out there, she’s really not that big of a person!   Kim’s inner diva continues to say that she’s done this four times (deliver babies) and she should have her own room by now with her name on it, written in diamonds.

They walk in the birthing room which had two baby stations.  Which seemed to stun Kim a little, maybe it was really sinking in that everything is going to be 2 times from here on out!  Dr. Ron Hood is checking over Kim and tells her that “Baby B” is breach and advises her to go with a C-section surgery.  Kim and Kroy didn’t have any words, they didn’t jump on board with that idea, so the doctor said, I’ll give you a few minutes to think about it.  The doctor leaves and Kim tells Kroy that she’s never had a C-section and the recovery time is so long, she really doesn’t want to. Kroy said the he doesn’t think her baby will get stuck, after all these babies are smaller than KJ and Kash, he says.  They advise the doctor they have decided to proceed with vaginal delivery.

Kroy is very supportive and has a positive attitude, which is what all women need from their partner at a time like this.  They give Kim the epidural and she leans her head into Kroy.  Later on, Kim said she feels funny. Dizzy. The nurse said it’s because her blood pressure radically dropped. The nurse is looking at the monitor and becomes alarmed saying “Baby A is down.”  There’s a flurry of activity with staff and they yell for the doctor.  Kim starts to wig out, not knowing what is going on. Kroy was being steady by her side to keep her calm as possible.  Then they find the heartbeat for Baby A.  Whew!

The camera crew leaves the room and there’s a bit a audio, we hear as the delivery takes place.  Baby A, a female, they name Kaia, she comes out first. Baby B, a boy, they named Kane needed a helping hand, coming out bent in half – OUCH!  Needless to say Kim’s ho-hah has turned into a house of horrors tunnel at this point.  If that hasn’t been enlightening enough, this next part some folks could manage without knowing.   A woman from a service called “Afterbirth Anywhere” arrives and has Kim’s placenta in a bag, and proceeds to take out a piece and make a smoothy for her to partake.  Kroy suggests Kim should hang on to her coffee drink as a chaser.  Chuckles.  Kim actually convinced Kroy to have one too!

DBT S3E1_6If you didn’t notice, just know that Kroy holding one of the babies like a football in this picture.  Go ahead and giggle, I did.  They go home and there are some exterior scenes at the house, obviously it’s Christmas and I also notice a Texas flag on a windmill-like device. Being a native Texan, I’m curious what the connection is there.  Kim said bringing her babies home is the best feeling in the whole wide world.  They enter the home and the other children are in the entry to meet their new brother and sister.

Now there are six kids in the house. Kroy says, “We love the chaos. I was bored before I met Kim.”   The remainder of the show is basically showing us the chaos of being in a household this large.  Kim is upstairs asking for help, the girls are supposed to be making Mac & Cheese with Chicken nuggets, which is revealed to be a household staple. The teenage girls, of course, are more interested in their cell phones than cooking, so that is not going well at all, as Kroy walks in and discovers. The boys are starved, the food’s over done, Kim is still calling for help again with pumping boobs and bath time.  Someone is always complaining about something, as Brielle said.   Brielle, Kim’s oldest daughter, is a senior in high school, if I recall correctly.  She is a mini-me of Kim, a beautiful young woman.

The show switches scenes at the home by using a screen shot of a four-way screen of the security cameras. You can usually see people in a room, it’s an interesting twist that ties into the introduction of this season.  Kim is about to bring the babies downstairs for a photo shoot.  It’s not said,  but I assume this is the photo shoot she did for Life & Style Magazine, as they had the exclusive to publish the family/baby photos.  So the production crew and the magazine people are being asked (made) to put on surgical style masks, as Kim doesn’t want the babies exposed to outside elements for 90 days.

At night, Kroy joins Kim in their outdoor hot tub.  He brings the baby monitor, which looks like a large format cell phone video so they can see and hear the twins.  Kim asks him about his recovery and how she hopes he can be full speed for the season, because she knows how much he wants to play (and she knows how much she likes to spend!).  Kroy starts to get horny, but the twins started crying and Kroy goes to check on them.

There’s a talking head about birth control and she wants Kroy to have a vasectomy. It’s obvious Kroy want’s nothing to do with that.  And really, with him being a professional athlete and having already undergone surgery, I wondered why Kim didn’t have her tubes tied after the babies were born.  This question was answered on Twitter after the show aired.  Kim said she was going to have tubal ligation, but her blood pressure was too high post birth, so the surgery was scrapped.   So I guess at the time of filming they still could get pregnant again.

There really wasn’t much to snark about here.  Even though Kim is not one of my favorites, she, combined with Kroy and family make good reality TV.  Highlights for the rest of the season show a camping trip with some wigs in tow.  Kim trying to be a diva with her spending ways.  Concerns of Brielle getting into typical trouble that teenagers encounter.  The bottom line is Kim and Kroy make beautiful babies and live in a gorgeous house.  Catch them Thursday nights on Bravo.

DBT S3E1_2

Kash, Brielle, KJ and Ariana

 

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Real Housewives Of Orange County Cast Blogs

RHOOC logo (2)Real Housewives Of Orange County

 S9E13 Cast Blogs

By HydrangeaHussy

 

Shannon Beador – Tamra’s Lies Are Mind Boggling

Shannon jumps right in.  “I asked Tamra whether she relayed any of our confidential conversation to Heather and she denied it. How many times could I ask her? The only other person who could confirm what I already knew was Heather.”  She says that she never told Vicki that Heather “told the world.”  Heather “discussed my marriage with a table of women which was inappropriate and that is what I told Vicki”  Did she really think that these ladies would just repeat exactly what she said?  Silly new girl!

“Heather knew that I was coming to her house and any suggestion to the contrary is just another way to “spin” things.”  Hmm, that is probably true because Bravo’s cameras were there to capture everything.  Shannon says that she apologized repeatedly, but that Heather hasn’t let it go.  I must have missed her repeated and heart-felt apologies.  “Clearly she has not let it go. It is so interesting to hear Heather and Terry describe the incident and they always say, “When Shannon left our house. . .” I was kicked out.”   Oh, stop.  You weren’t kicked out, you were asked to leave because the conversation was going nowhere.  She also finds it “disturbing” that Tamra hasn’t taken responsibility for starting all of this.  Tamra never takes responsibility for anything.  She’s starting to turn on Shannon & Shannon better watch out!

“En route to Lizzie’s party, David and I discuss that I am not at excited about seeing the Dubrows. First of all, the last I heard from Heather was a text minutes after I left her house. There was no way I was going to respond to her text after being kicked out of her home.”  She says that Heather never apologized for kicking her out.  I’d like to see exactly what Heather’s text to Shannon said.

Shannon continues to say that she never yelled at Heather before the party at Lizzie’s.  “I didn’t yell at her at Javier’s, never ever raised my voice at the hoedown, and apologized for my raised voice at my Christmas party. I don’t like to be accused of doing things I didn’t do.”  Shannon doesn’t really yell, she just gets very worked out & shrill.  She also continues to claim that Tamra told both her and David that Terry wanted to take them down.  “We didn’t think she was serious at first, but once she mentioned it a couple times, we started to wonder whether it was true. We weren’t going to discuss it with the Dubrows without getting confirmation from Tamra one more time that Terry had said it.”  Shannon was frustrated that Tamra denied it.  She couldn’t believe that Tamra was lying again.  I wish that Vicki had spoken up at the dinner, it would have put lying TammySue in her place.  “Two things could have happened — Tamra made it up in the first place (which would make it a lie) or she lied to me and Terry really did make the statement to her. Either way, Tamra is not telling the truth. . .again.”  Shannon says that she isn’t lying and that she would have no reason to lie.  I completely believe that Tamra told Shannon that, but she was probably lying at the time to stir up drama.

“And then lo and behold Tamra decides to bring up this non-existent statement at the dinner table of all places. It makes no sense. And further, I cannot believe that Terry had the audacity to confront David and I at the dinner table with 12 people. I love that David defended me — so chivalrous and loving.”  Tamra knew exactly what she was doing by bringing it up at the dinner table – so inappropriate.  Terry also should have let it go until after dinner.  Tamra continued to adamantly deny having said that, but Vicki confirmed it.  “You see me apologize AGAIN to Heather for raising my voice to her at my Christmas party. Clearly Heather can’t let it go because after the apology at the table, I am attacked for “yelling” once again.”  Actually Shannon, you’re the one that brought it up, not Heather.  “I am blown away that Tamra thought she could somehow convince my husband that betraying my confidence and telling Heather was somehow in my best interest.”  Once Tamra called Heather and Terry into the discussion outside, Shannon was done.  “This is not how I communicate or deal with people.”  There were way too many people involved at that point.  I wish Shannon had just left, instead of flipping out & making herself look crazy.

Finally, Shannon tries to switch to a lighter note by talking about how she doesn’t exercise, but is thin.  She and David have been in Hawaii.  She wore a bikini for David and someone took hideous pictures, so now Shannon is on a mission to get toned up.  I’m betting that she won’t be going to Cut Fitness for that!

Vicki Gunvalson – Vicki is Trying to Stay Neutral

This episode was difficult for Vicki to watch.  “Seeing people that I care about be hurt by one another is brutal. I have come to the belief that the TRUTH is the TRUTH. And in one way, shape, or form, the truth will always be revealed.”  She begins by telling us that, had she been in Shannon’s position, she would have gone to Heather’s house to get the truth.  She didn’t see Shannon yelling at Heather.  Granted, I didn’t see Shannon yelling either, but she was stuck on repeat & didn’t come in apologizing as she’s claimed.  I would have asked her to leave too.  Tamra lied.  “Tamra got caught, but I truly think she tried to cover herself because she didn’t want to look like she was gossiping and didn’t want to hurt Shannon by betraying her.”  Vicki has Tamra’s number this season.

As for the “take the Beadors down” comment, Vicki doesn’t think that Terry ever said that.  She believes that “Tamra made this up for some reason and doesn’t remember saying it to Shannon and I. I have no idea why she would make this up, but it’s either that — or he said it. It can’t be anything else.”  Vicki feels bad that the confrontation went down at new girl Lizzie’s dinner party.  She also wants to set record straight that Shannon is a “great person” and not psychotic.  “She’s passionate about the TRUTH. . .”  She’s a little too passionate, if you ask me.  I think she got overwhelmed by the tag-teaming of Tamra & Heather.  I can’t believe that Shannon really thought joining this cast was a good idea.

Vicki finishes by saying that she is “trying to turn over a new leaf and stay clear and neutral from the drama.”  She isn’t an ass-kisser, as alleged by Tamra, “I think what is more appropriate for her to say is that “I’m not a sh– stirrer” the way she is.”  I like that she isn’t inserting herself into other people’s fights, like so many of the housewives do.

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Posted in RHOC Cast Blogs | 53 Comments

Real Housewives of New York S6E19 / Ladies of London S1E7

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Real Housewives Of New York

S6E19 “There’s Something About Harry”

By realhousewifeofaiken

Carole’s about to celebrate her 50th birthday and the theme is Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil meets the Garden of Eden.  This might be her way of telling us that she’s dated Kevin Spacey or Clint Eastwood or both.  She’s dated and broken up with so many men that her next writing assignment should be a collaboration with Taylor Swift.  It takes a village to put this party together, so assistants Katie and Eric, along with Heather, are tackling her laundry lists of wants, needs and desires – white lights, chandeliers, shiny red apples, psychics, snake handlers, butterflies, a fog machine, Lady Chablis and the entire dance troupe from Kandi Burruss’s wedding.

Sonja and Harry believe that their relationship has grown to the point where they should raise a puppy together.  It’s a better idea than a baby.

What we’ve got here is …  failure to communicate

Josh Taekman, Kristen Taekman

Kristen and Josh are trying to iron out some of the problem they’re experiencing in their marriage.   The therapist asks them to talk about the good and the bad things as they see them but these two aren’t even speaking the same language.  He wants her to understand that his business is important and she wants him to see that she’s important.  They never discussed having children until she was pregnant, twice.  She doesn’t even think that he loves her.  Communication is everything but Kristen and Josh just can’t figure out how to do that.   If it’s about understanding each of their disparate positions, then maybe they should trade places for a week.

Avery’s packing for college and is having a panic attack because her mother is having a panic attack.  Ramona, the zen master, gives her something breathing exercises to do, hoping that they’ll calm her down.  Breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for six hold for two.  It’s better than screaming at her to take a Xanax and calm down.  I tried to follow Ramona’s instructions but ended up hyperventilating, passing out and having to hit rewind when I came to.   As they’re going to the airport, Ramona cries and tells Mario that the house is going to be too quiet.  Avery jumps out of the cab and LaGuardia and barely looks back.

The devil’s in the tarot cards

Sonja’s having dinner with a psychic, Thomas John.  Instead of ordering appetizers,m he does a tarot card reading and tells Sonja that there’s a devil in her life.  The devil has brown hair, but he doesn’t say whether it’s Carole, Heather, LuAnn or a lawyer from Hannibal pictures.  Mr. John may be a psychic in training because he also tells Sonja that her money is only going to grow and her situation with her home will improve.   Sonja believes every word, because she’s Sonja.

When Harry met Sonja – and LuAnn

Heather is hard at work, making Carole’s dream of a great party become a reality.   The snake handler is a no-go because health codes prohibit live snakes in restaurants.  Something like that could keep any number of guests from gaining entry, too.  Aviva isn’t invited.  Her invitation is being held until the next party , when the theme will be Midnight in the Garden of Evil and Evil.   Carole shows up early to oversee what Heather already has well in hand.  Finding there’s really nothing to do, she treats herself and some of the others to a manicure.Carole Radziwill

The guests begin to arrive, dressed to the nines, with some wearing masks.  Mario asks LuAnn where Jacques is and LuAnn explains that they’ve parted ways.  The guest of honor makes her entrance and looks beautiful in a long red dress.  LuAnn begins to tell Carole and Kristen all about her heartbreaking breakup with Jacques.  In her talking head, she says that she has no idea what happened.  Pirates happened, LuAnn – some low-rent, Johnny Depp wannbe pirates.   She starts to cry and apologizes to Carole for it but Carole tells her “It’s my party and you can cry if you want to.”

Sonja and Harry are talking about their relationship under LuAnn’s watchful eye.  Harry wants to be with Sonja but she would like to know a little more before she’s convinced as to his intentions.   They kiss and kiss some more.  Harry says that he wants to take it to another level and that he’s serious about his feelings for Sonja.  He then gives her a ring – not an engagement ring, more like a “see, I’m serious, but not serious enough to propose marriage” ring.  He then says that he loves her and care for her.Heather Thomson

Heather gives a toast to Carole which is actually an email Carole had sent her about what she did and did not want in a toast.  There are explicit instructions about not mentioning Aerosmith.   No sooner does the toast end and the festivities begin,  Ramona and Sonja are squirreled in a corner, gossiping about LuAnn and Jacques.  Sonja is upset that LuAnn didn’t tell her about their breakup and that she had to hear it at the party, and confronts LuAnn with her complaints.  She though that LuAnn was a better friend than that, but that was the same problem LuAnn had with Sonja during their picnic in Central Park.  To her credit, LuAnn correctly points out that only Sonja could make their breakup all about her.

Heather and LuAnn sing a couple of songs about Carole which Ramona thinks is stupid.  She thinks that Tony Bennett or P Diddy should have been there to perform given all the celebrities both Carole and Heather know.  It’s safe to assume that if Mario had been the entertainment, Ramona would have been much happier and the celebrity factor would have been a non-factor.

Sonja and Ramona meet up again to talk about Harry and the ring.  Sonja says that she’s scared by his gesture and doesn’t understand what it really means.  She tells Ramona that she took the ring off and put it in her purse.   Harry, however, is now chatting it up with LuAnn.  When Sonja goes in search of Harry, he’s already left, presumably with LuAnn.LuAnn de Lesseps

Aviva made a very brief appearance during this episode.  She was at A Step Ahead with Heather Abbot, a young woman who made the decision to have her leg amputated as a result of the injuries she suffered during the Boston bombing.  Her prosthetic leg is going to be made and given to her at no cost to her.  Where has this Aviva been all season?Aviva Drescher

Next week is the season finale and the episode in which a prosthetic leg is seen lying on the ground.  This is what the Housewives’ franchise has become, with the most anticipated scene of the season involving a leg toss.

Empress

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Ladies Of London

S1E7  “I’ve Been To London To Visit The Queen”

  By HydrangeaHussy

Annabelle is still recovering at Slade Farm, where she will be for 4 weeks.  Caroline arrives to visit with gifts – a bunch of DVD’s and a TV to watch them on.  My friends wouldn’t show up with TV’s if I was injured, maybe I need new friends?  Annabelle refuses to feel sorry for herself and has checked out of the hospital to recover at home.  Caroline is impressed with Annabelle’s courage – she would still be at the hospital, as would I.  I am really impressed with Annabelle.  She could be lying in bed, feeling sorry for herself, but she seems determined to recover as quickly as possible.  They make their way into the living room and Caroline tells Annabelle about the “going-away” party that Noelle and Marissa are throwing for Caprice.  Annabelle thinks that there is a power struggle between the two.  She advises Caroline to take the high road.  I love that Annabelle can stay the truth and give good advice, without being harsh.  Caroline isn’t sure that she can take the high road.  I’m still trying to figure out if this fight is truly about a baby shower or if there is something deeper going on.  I understand feeling hurt if a friend declines a shower, but this seems like it may be about something more than just a shower.  Annabelle thinks that it may be about how close Caroline has become to the Americans so quickly.  Caroline is trying to remember that she isn’t the norm because she doesn’t let her emotions show.  I really like seeing the softer side of Caroline.  Just when you start to think she’s cold, she surprises with deep emotions.

LOL S1E7_1Caprice receives an email that her surrogate has begun to dilate.  Ty already has children, so he’s more calm about it.  He is so chill, which is good for Caprice.  I think that will help keep her from completely freaking out.  He advises that they keep their passports on hand and wait to see what happens.  They call the surrogate to get more information.  She tells Caprice that she will probably not give birth for a few more weeks.  Caprice offers to come if she is needed, but the surrogate encourages her to wait.  It’s nice that Caprice has a relationship with her surrogate, who can help calm the first-time mom.

Rania, Caroline’s assistant, is reviewing Caroline’s schedule with her.  Caroline is having a dinner party for the girls.  She knows exactly what she wants, who to invite, and how it should run.  Of course Caroline would be completely hands-on and in-control of a dinner party, just like she is in everything.  She will invite Annabelle, even though she knows that Annabelle won’t be able to attend.  She will also invite Caprice, because she was raised not to ostracize or exclude anyone.  Caroline wants to find someone to teach British etiquette to Juliet and Noelle.  She wants them to brush up on their social skills before her dinner because they didn’t display good manners at Mapperton.  “I want to have a My Fair Lady moment.”

Caprice picks Julie up to visit Annabelle.  She is very pregnant and miserable.  She has one more week in England before she flies to the US to be with her surrogate for the birth and to have her own baby.  Annabelle is looking on the positive side – she had the 2nd worst accident she could have, but at least it wasn’t the worst.  I’m not sure that I could be so positive.  Again, I’m super impressed with Annabelle.  She is such a strong and amazing woman.  Caprice tells Annabelle about Caroline’s dinner.  She found it peculiar that Caroline invited her.  She would not invite someone that she is fighting with to a dinner.  Annabelle tells Caprice pretty much the same thing that she told Caroline – take the high road, kiss and make up.  Caprice is stressed about the surrogate dilating, giving birth on her own, and becoming a mom to two boys.  Annabelle has a very quiet way of reassuring her friend.  She advises Caprice to mend her relationship with Caroline before she leaves for the US.

LOL S1E7_2Caroline takes Juliet and Noelle for an etiquette class with Rosemary, who is described as a “battle-ax.”  Caroline told Noelle that she wanted to brush up on her own etiquette, but Noelle realizes that the issue is her and Juliet.  Rosemary is a tough cookie!  She immediately calls Noelle for sitting before being invited and for putting her arms on the table.  Juliet is late, immediately making a bad impression.  She tells Juliet that they are there to learn manners, so they don’t behave like they did at Mapperton.  I agree that neither lady had perfect table manners, but it wasn’t horrific.  They begin with soup.  Noelle takes a bite…incorrectly.  She is told to put her spoon down if you’re talking.  Noelle has been to aristocratic, fancy dinners and people don’t care this much about table manners and etiquette.  I’m not sure about that, Lord Sandwich didn’t seem particularly impressed with the leaving for a smoke and the passing of food around.  Juliet slurps a noodle.  Caroline is loving this!  She brings up the food exchange at Mapperton.  Juliet expected to be offered options.  I can understand having options if you know in advance that someone doesn’t eat meat, but you can’t be expected to have a million options – a dinner party isn’t like going to a restaurant.  Noelle thinks saying “please” and “thank you” are enough manners.  Caroline doesn’t believe in public displays of emotion.  Juliet thinks honesty is the most real, she thinks holding something in until you’re alone is rude and disrespectful.  Rosemary advises her to ask for a private word if you’re upset about something.  Caroline doesn’t think you should “stand like a fishwife in the middle of the street and air your dirty laundry.”  Juliet seems to think that they’re telling her to just drop it if she’s upset.  Actually, they’re just telling you not to make a scene in the middle of a party, which I completely agree with.  There is no reason to cause a scene when you can deal with it later, behind closed doors!  Caroline tells her that airing it in public makes other people uncomfortable.  Juliet is starting to realize that she needs to adapt to the British way.

LOL S1E7_3Caprice is feeling very alone and overwhelmed.  She calls Julie to vent.  She has two babies on the way, is trying to plan a trip to the US, and is about to shoot a major campaign.  She doesn’t feel mentally prepared to deal with all of this.  I can’t imagine being pregnant and having to worry not only about yourself, but about another woman who is carrying your child.  Julie advises her to be selfish and spend some time on herself during this time.  I am loving Julie, she seems like such a supportive friend!

Noelle is getting ready to meet the girls out to celebrate Marissa’s new citizenship.  She is feeling put in the middle of Caroline and Caprice, especially with the going-away party.  It’s hard to be friends with each of them.  It is hard to be in the middle, but Noelle is kind of putting herself in that position.  Caroline is fond of Juliet, she says that Juliet is like an over-excited child.  The two together crack me up.

LOL S1E7_4They go to the Wellington, where Caroline knows the owner.  The girls get him to talk about the young Caroline.  He laughs and says that she was often truant from school and wore her mother’s high heels.  Haha!  I can kind of see Caroline as a wild child, lol.  They go downstairs to see some of the memorabilia that has been collected there.  It’s pretty cool to see a place with such history.  Noelle brings up the going-away party.  Caroline asks for clarification as to what kind of party it is.  They tell her that they won’t be playing baby shower games, but just saying goodbye.  If someone wants to bring a gift, they can.  Caroline thinks that it’s obviously a baby-shower.  It is pretty clear that this is a shower.  Juliet is confused as to why Marissa and Noelle are planning the party when Caroline obviously knows her best.  Juliet is obviously taking Caroline’s side, but really needs to stay out of it.  Caroline says that Noelle would have read-up on Caprice by now, implying that she flip-flops friends.  Just a little shade thrown there!  But, Caroline is kind of right, Noelle seems to be playing both sides.  Marissa thinks that becoming a mom is big deal and she wants to celebrate that.  She says that Juliet obviously isn’t planning one, Caroline’s didn’t work out, so she’s throwing one.  Juliet still doesn’t understand.  Marissa stands up for herself, telling Juliet that if she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t have to.  Good for her!

LOL S1E7_5Caprice is shooting the first By Caprice campaign with a model other than herself.  She caught some flack on Twitter about modeling for herself, but I would model my own line if I had Caprice’s body!  She’s really nervous about getting the right shots.  She knows exactly what she wants and needs for her brand.  She is very hands-on during the shoot, directing the hair and amount of cleavage.  Once they get the hair right, the model looks amazing and Caprice loves the shots.  She looks stunning in the final shots!  Caprice is glad that she was there to supervise.  After the shoot, Noelle arrives.  She feels that Caprice has done everything on her own as well and feels a kinship with her.  I think that Noelle wants to be Caprice in a few years.  The problem is that Caprice gets really good press, while Noelle gets press mostly because of Scot’s drama.  She has to find a way to separate herself from that and focus on her business ventures, whatever those are.  I’m not sure exactly what it is that Noelle does.  Noelle really wants Caprice to come to the dinner at Caroline’s.  Caprice tells Noelle that her surrogate is dilating, so she has to leave immediately and doesn’t even have the time for her own party.  Noelle tells Caprice that Caroline was giving her a hard time about the shower.  Uh oh.  Noelle thought Caprice would commiserate on how mean Caroline can be, but Caprice is very upset.  Did Noelle really think that Caprice would take it that well.  Caprice feels bad that Noelle is getting bullied because of her.  She decides to attend the dinner to sort things out with Caroline before she leaves.  Noelle is concerned that Caprice is putting too much stress on herself and that attending the party will not go well.  She is trying to CYA, big-time.

This was filmed last summer, so Prince George hasn’t been born yet.  Noelle doesn’t realize that all the excitement going on, but Marissa is super excited.  Marissa feels like it’s a girl, that way she can marry Marissa’s son, lol.  I absolutely love how much Marissa puts into everything she does and truly embraces becoming British!  Once she decides to do something, she is all in!

It’s the day of Caroline’s dinner party.  She is supervising the readying of everything.  Her chef is preparing traditional English food – salmon, chicken and bell peppers for the vegans.  Caroline wants everyone to go away satisfied, so the food is critical.  She walks the staff through greeting her guests and serving the dinner.  She does not accept anything going wrong at one of her parties.  Caroline is a true perfectionist.  She is glad that Caprice is big enough to attend, though she says that she wouldn’t attend if it was her.  Marissa rides with Juliet and Noelle.  Noelle is on edge because she doesn’t want to be in the middle of Caroline and Caprice.  She looks like she might have been drinking already.  In the car, Noelle opens the bottle of champagne that she was bringing for Caroline.  She says that she’ll just tell Caroline that they already drank it.  If I were her, I wouldn’t mention it at all – just pretend like you didn’t intend to bring anything.  They discuss the photo-shoot.  Noelle tells the girls that Caprice is exhausted and stressed, and that she didn’t realize how bad the drama with Caroline is.  Juliet thinks that Noelle is stirring the pot by telling each lady what they want to hear and what the other says.  I have to agree with her, she should have stayed out of it.

LOL S1E7_6Julie is the first to arrive.  Two of Caroline’s other friends arrive.  The Americans arrive next.  The ladies have a glass of champagne on the terrace.  Caroline doesn’t do anything halfway.  Everything she does is effortlessly perfect, according to Juliet.  Noelle tells Caroline that she brought a bottle of champagne, but they drank it in the car.  Caroline just seems to take every faux pas of the Americans’ in stride.  Caroline can tell that Noelle was drinking before she arrived.  Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.  Caprice is really nervous about going to Caroline’s party.  She hopes that there won’t be any confrontation, but she knows how Caroline can get when she’s on her own turf.  Is this going to be a dinner party from hell?

LOL S1E7_7The ladies sit down for dinner, but Noelle and Julie remain on the side.  They are discussing the Caroline/Caprice situation.  Noelle just can’t help involving everyone!  Julie advises that Noelle isn’t in a good position between Caroline and Caprice.  Very diplomatic!  Caroline notes that something is up with Noelle.  “It sort of reeks of guilt.”  Caroline makes a toast, thanking the ladies for coming all the way out to her house.  Dinner is served by men in black tie and white gloves.  That is my kind of dinner!  I definitely need new friends!  Marissa thinks that Caroline may be showing Caprice what she missed out on by turning down the shower.  A little more shade from Marissa!  Maybe she isn’t as sweet as she appears, lol.  Caprice hasn’t arrived yet.  Noelle leans over to whisper to Marissa about Caprice’s “freak out.”  Not a good idea at the dinner table when you’re trying to stay out things.  All she does is draw more attention to herself.  Next week we’ll see what happens when Caprice arrives.

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Posted in Ladies Of London, Real Housewives of New York | 161 Comments

Real Housewives Of New York Cast Blogs – Let’s Chat

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S6E18 Cast Blogs Blogged by

Ramonacoaster

Kristen: This Show Has Helped My Marriage

Dinner with Heather and Jonathan. I am so happy that Heather and I were able to hash it out and that she accepted my apology. Looking back at this fight was very hard. It sucks arguing with a good friend, but I feel that we have come full circle — and it was great that our husbands could be in on it.

I don’t even know what the argument was about.  Heather was three sheets to the wind and you usually ignores what drunk people say.  You pay attention when they are sober. 

I feel like I am airing a bunch of dirty laundry at this dinner with the Josh as I talk about moving back to NY from LA, etc., but, well, it came up and it’s on my mind. I wanted Heather to understand that I am very supportive, but it just reaches a point where you want to feel that same support on the other end. Work is work.

What about Josh?  Shouldn’t he understand?  Heather pretty much became the husband surrogate.

Dr. Giese’s Office: Light, tight, and right. I agree Miss Morgan 100 percent: who would have thought that I would be friendly with Ramona at this point? Right? Wow. Boobs and Botox — that’s the extent of it for me!

Isn’t that what surprises people on the NY housewives?  Getting along with Ramona?

Making dinner for Josh: We decided on a date night. I said I would cook, and I did. Josh got stuck at work and didn’t call. He had a really bad conference call — I get it. I just want a head’s up. When I make the effort, I want my husband to do the same. Did you notice how when I hung up on Josh I snapped at our kid? Ugh not cool.

Yeah, that sucks. 

Anybody want to come over for dinner? Doesn’t it look like it would be yummy? Ha! But at least I made the effort, and for Josh to see that it was like therapy for him. He really opened his eyes to how important it is to communicate, to be respectful of my efforts, and to find a better way to handle all the stress from work.

He is selling and promoting a health drink.  Stress is anti-health.

Marriage is hard work. It has its ups and downs. I think it’s really hard when your children are young — lots of stress and pressure. This show was one of the best things that happened to us. Getting a bird’s eye view on our marriage is just what we needed. Turns out watching our arguments has been the best therapy for us. At the end of the day, Josh and I love and support each other, and I couldn’t have done any of this with out him. He also realizes how he needs to separate work from family and how important it is for he and I to connect. It’s been great for both of us.

We’ll see if you don’t add to the housewives divorce rate. 

Birdland: It was very sweet and romantic that Mario sang for Ramona. Birdland is iconic What Ramona was saying about Lu and her singing was very rude (big surprise)! Not nice at all.

Lu needs autotune.  Enough said. 

But Heather, OMG! Damn, of course Heather can sing and bring the house down. Holla Momma!

Of course, she’s good at everything. 

LuAnn: I Sing When I Feel Like Singing

I think Sonja’s relationship with Harry is a long one. They are more friends than anything, as I see Harry stepping out with other women all the time. He’s even been dating a friend of mine recently, so I don’t think their relationship is serious in the least. I know Sonja would like things to be different but that’s not the reality of the situation. Harry is not the kind to settle down. He’s a player! Its a good thing Sonja has other men like 23-year-old Ben to keep her busy!

I guess you have to meet Harry in person to see the appeal because it doesn’t come off on screen. 

Things between Jacques and myself have been getting tense lately. We have been bickering a lot more recently. We are working on improving that, and I hope that it will. Jacques and I both love each other very much, but I’m wondering if we can go the distance? We are just at different places in our lives for the moment, so it’s hard! I expected the photo shoot to go a lot more smoothly, but that wasn’t the case. We are both learning that we need to do some work to make the relationship last. The photos did turn out great, and I am grateful to Christophe von Hohenberg, the photographer, for being the easy going friend that he is and making it work regardless of how we felt about each other that day. The dogs were happy! Check out his work at ChristopheVonHohenberg.com. He’s taken many pictures in ’70s and ’80s of celebrities and rock stars around NYC and has a new book out!

French accents gets tiring to hear sometimes. 

The truth is I really wasn’t up to singing that night because I had a fight with Jacques that day and thats why he wasn’t there. I just wasn’t in the mood and Ramona pushing me only made it worse. I sing when I feel like singing, not when someone demands I sing. Ramona was just awful to me, and I felt like crying not singing. Ramona would of thrown me under the bus whether I sang or not. That’s just how Ramona is with me — horrible — and I don’t care what she thinks of me!

It sounds like you got wind of some plot to compare you and Mario. 

I thought Heather was amazing and I love her for getting up there and belting out her tune. I’m proud of her, and that’s what friends are for. I actually got up and sang “Hey Big Spender” later that night after Heather. She inspired me to get up there, and it actually felt great to sing. Sorry you missed it!

Did the cameras leave first?  Is that why you sang?

I thought Mario singing to Ramona was very sweet! I really wanted to give him the limelight that night, as I knew he’d been practicing and wanted it to be his night. No thanks from Ramona for that one, of course. I actually sang one night with Mario out at a restaurant in the past, and I know he loves the Sinatra stuff. It’s great that he likes to sing. Maybe he can go on the road with Sonja soon?

Sonja is a one woman show. 

Billy Stritch the accompanist and I have sung together in the past at Jim Caruso’s cast party at Town Hall on Broadway to benefit Broadway cares equity fights AIDS. I sang Natalie Cole’s “Love,” which I’ve done on our show in the past! I actually sang after Chita Rivera and before Liza Minnelli. It was truly a great evening! He really is the best piano player around and has worked with many, many Broadway stars — so I was so happy to see Heather living it up with him on stage and holding her own. Holla!!!! Bravo Heather!

It was Mario and Heather’s night to shine.

Nothing Is Too Romantic for Sonja

I try to make my intern hiring process as daunting as possible to discourage any applicants from thinking that it’s all fun and games — because I’m in the business of being entertaining with Sonja in The City and my charity work. Some of the more naive types think my behind-the-scenes work is light and fun. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Managing my homes, investments, personal affairs, sorting through potential opportunities, and maintaining my philanthropic endeavors (all while keeping my daughter as my number one priority) makes for a challenging day at work. Therefore, when I choose an intern — before they even make it to the daunting interview experience — I look for a very high GPA, combined with previous intern experience and hopefully some job experience. And, most definitely, charity work is a must on their résumé. Then, I look to their major, minor, other interests, and what they’re hoping to gain by interning with me. If I’m going to spend my time showing them the ropes, I need to know that they’re going to put it to good use and that it would apply to the right field. Having said that, good life lessons always apply — like learning how to schedule!

So much work for free labor.

I didn’t think telling Aviva about what everyone said about her on the trip was going to spark a reaction. I wanted to her to be prepared. I wanted to tell Aviva that everyone was doubting her illness, and I felt that it wasn’t healthy and that she should be warned. What I have seen since St. Barth’s is Aviva making positive changes. The girls are not experts in the medical field nor in psychology. I feel that it should be left to Aviva’s doctors and other experts, which she’s been clearly advised by. Giving Aviva the head’s up would give her the strength and ammunition she would need to keep it together should a confrontation occur. Believe me, I have been there for all of their “concernings.” It doesn’t help you get ahead. In fact, it can set you back if you’re not strong-minded. The girl clearly has asthma, among other illnesses.

I think you got the crazy wheels spinning in Aviva’s head.  This  is definitely going to lead to a confrontation. 

It’s never too young to start speaking to professionals about cosmetic procedures and to plan ahead. I like to be educated and know my options. Ever since being a young model, I have always availed myself of what information is out there, however I am extremely cautious in my approach. I know that Kristen has been considering using Botox, and certainly Dr. Giese is someone that she could consider as a practioner. There are so many different ways to use Botox, and different doctors have different techniques.

I think if you can use non-invasive techniques early on it would be better.  Botox to me seems so extreme. 

I have to be very careful with Botox because I’m known for my expressions and I have to perform at my different Sonja In The City events, appearances, and sometimes for my charity work. There are so many different machines on the market, I don’t know where to begin! When I go to see Dr. Neil Sadick, he has one machine. Dr. Giese has a different machine. Dr. Kassir has another machine! I have yet to try the vampire facial. Everyone is doing that where they inject your own blood into your face! Even my doctor Erika Schwartz has machines to monitor and increase life longevity and make me more beautiful.

How would you judge how fast you would have aged had you not done the procedures?

Ramona and LuAnn have a very special relationship. It’s very passive-aggressive. Why Ramona decided to badger LuAnn about not getting up to perform, I don’t know. Why does she ever badger LuAnn? LuAnn always gives a great performance with or without practice.

She likes giving Lu some competition.  She went wild when she found out Carole was a princess and outranked Luann.

Ramona and I have always shared the bathroom — with or without Mario around. So when I said I’ve heard Mario sing in the shower, I wasn’t kidding. Mario’s performance was incredibly romantic and made me tear up. It’s wonderful to have tens of years of marriage together. I’m surprised the other girls said that it was too romantic. Nothing can be too romantic. I love LOVE!

I’m sure after hearing Mario’s shenanigans in the gossip columns they were wondering if he was singing to his goomah.

I thought Heather’s performance was off the charts, but I wouldn’t say she’s a better singer than LuAnn. I think they are both great performers and I enjoy watching both of them and being a part of it.

Well look who’s Switzerland. 

Heather’s Sasha Fierce Moment

Yee Haw! The trip was really a lot of fun, outside of all the drama mama, and it was beautiful! But I’m happy to be back in the saddle I know the best, with my hubby and our delicious littles, both hands on the wheel at Yummie and my feet planted firmly in NYC — the place I really belong! I loved the adventures Montana brought us and although I still didn’t entirely understand my dust-up with Kristen so much, I knew we were all good. Jonathan, who was entirely innocent of any wrong doing, still caught an arrow from her, too, but he didn’t care. He thought it was funny and we all understood that whatever went down was hard for her. I thought it was nice we could spend some time together as couples after a silly scuffle. To sit down for dinner and laugh about it. . .but I should be so lucky. Kristen is at me for being bossy again! OK whatever — you are bossy and I am the boss, as Jon says (so cute making light of the situation).

What choice does he have?  You’re the boss, clearly.

Kristen wants Josh’s support. We can see that. When she describes our fight and feels Josh was taking my side, she was missing the point that assertiveness is a part of my personality. It’s not that she was wrong and I was right. The fight was behind us and I wanted to move on. But now I realize that Kristen just wanted my support too. As she was explaining the many sacrifices she’s made for Josh and their family, I got it. Kristen picked up, gave up, packed up, and uprooted her life twice! That is not easy. I also know that she and Josh are having struggles and it’s all lopsided. Things are coming out wrong. There is stress for Josh to provide for his family and pressure for Kristen to find her footing when she’s mumming more than modeling — there is tension because they are not aligning and Josh isn’t handling the situation well.

Sounds like Josh’s business is not doing so well. 

Entrepreneurs like Josh, who are natural at building relationships, use their talents to access resources (internally and externally), and to grow their business. I get it. So I try to explain the one thing I think can help: this is the way Josh’s mind is working. Kristen is experiencing “entrepreneurial behavior”:

1. Opportunity recognition: I am starting a new company.

2. Resource acquisition and venture creation: We are moving back to NY.

3. Firm expansion and growth, which is the phase EBOOST is in now: Not only will I be late for dinner, but I’m also not going to call and let you know.

Yes, this may appear to be habit forming but it’s not, it’s just a phase. I’m not saying it’s right, but I am saying I understand it. I’ve been through it myself with my own start up and six years into business I still experience phases, with every new growth cycle, where you bust your ass to see your vision through. It’s usually not convenient and it’s usually not scheduled. But Kristen isn’t biting my worm. I’m trying to help her gain perspective but instead she just sees me and Josh not supporting her and now we’re both not doing a good job — and my lecture in “The Process of Entrepreneurship” is entirely missed!

They are definitely not communicating properly because it seems Josh is putting down Kristen for not being a business person where she couldn’t care less about being a business person but would appreciate some respect and consideration.

And all that jazz. . .

We were invited to Birdland to join Mario at open mic night, which I thought he was throwing. Ramona was enlisting people to sing too, and invited Lu and I to join the fun! What I did not realize was that Mario was not hosting — Birldand was! And the likes of the other people that were performing: mind blowing! Billy Stritch on piano!?! I mean, come on people! This ain’t no karaoke! There’s no machine, there is no teleprompter, and there is no chance Ramona is going to let up on LuLu for choosing not to sing. And I’m now sh–ting my pants. Ramona’s behavior is totally garish and unapologetic and thankfully Lu didn’t let her get the best of her with all she’s got going on with Jacques. But then I realize the pressure really is on me!

Ramona’s behavior shouldn’t surprise you anymore. 

I really had no idea what I committed to and when that man called my name and asked if I’d take the stage I had an out-of-body experience. Nothing like walking up to a microphone in a sparkling dress and saying sh–balls! It was my Sasha Fierce moment, and when I took the stage and the music started, I forgot about everything! The diva performer in me came out, which comes from my dad. I had dedicated the song to him and gave it all I had! Too bad I don’t remember a thing! I swear, it was like I blacked out. I remember nothing from that performance except Jonathan’s face and Billy Stritch. And Lu sitting in the audience instead of fronting my backup vocals!

You’ve acquitted yourself well.

Aviva Defends Her Asthma

In the real world when a group of women are invited on a trip and one is not feeling well, the usual and appropriate response is, “Sorry you can’t come. Hope you feel better!” Generally among real-life friends there is some care and concern for the feelings and health of others. When the group returns and reunites with the one who wasn’t feeling well, a typical response is “How are you feeling?” from those who went away. Or “Hope the trip was great!” from the one who didn’t go.

Well, at least the trip wasn’t about you getting there and needing a parade thrown in your honor. 

But this is Housewifeland. In Housewifeland when one falls ill, your friends say, “You are a liar, and I hope you die, and you can’t have asthma. You have some pathological sick disease that is emotionally based!” In Housewifeland it’s impossible that a change in altitude could exacerbate an already severe condition. In Housewifeland everyone is a doctor except for the New York State board certified pulmonologist who urged the asthmatic sufferer not to go on the trip based on very sophisticated Pulmonary Function Tests, exams etc.

Heather can sing in Housewifeland when you call her up on stage. 

Poor Carole. She googled and came up with some serious disease I must have instead of asthma. What makes Carole so angry and vindictive? What is she missing in her life to cause her to put so much venom in her writing? How does she even come up with this sh–? Alternate diseases that one only hears about on Lifetime TV? The big shot journalist with a 20-year career Googles for information? Carole has a wild imagination. Did she call or “google” the Kennedy family when she needed stories for her own memoir? Would she call this “research” a new definition of “journalism.” It seems like “journalism” as defined by Carole today is as simple as googling….

Another potshot at Carole’s memoirs.  Munchausen has been featured in many medical dramas and it finally appears on a reality show.  Let’s hear it for Munchausen disease. 

Having watched the trip, I am really thankful I didn’t go. Looked like a complete bore. And anyway, with friends like Heather, Carole, and Kristen, who are preoccupied with disliking me, why are they so bent out of shape that I didn’t go? I can’t imagine I would have felt even the slightest bit welcome. Their accusations speak volumes about their own character and how they function as a clique.

I would have been nervous watching you handle a hatchet. 

Ramona: Mario’s Voice Is So Sexy

Mario has a naturally wonderful voice. I remember one time in the Hamptons, LuAnn sang at a karaoke night. Than Mario sang The Doors song, “Touch Me.” He amazed everyone, including LuAnn. I find Mario extremely sexy when he sings. I love his voice! I was so excited to have him perform, as I know how much he enjoys singing — and of course I enjoy listening to him. All of our friends came out to hear him. So many people came in fact, that I knew it added to Mario’s nervousness.

Mario acquitted himself well too. 

Heather does everything well, so naturally it was no surprise how great she performed. She was rocking it!

Maybe there can be a singoff between housewives.  Wait what am I saying!  There needs to be autotune first. 

I must say I was provoking LuAnn. I just could not help myself. She was making all these dumb excuses of why she could not perform that night. They were all bull sh–, and I could not resist calling her out on it. It was immature on my part, I know

There must have been some behind the scenes mastermind plan that would poke fun of Luann’s singing.  Too bad Luann didn’t bite the bait. 

On a more positive note, I must say Kristen and I found our places with each other and I am enjoying her friendship.

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Tonight’s Episode:

“There’s Something About Harry”

Carole turns fifty and decides to celebrate her birthday with an extravagant, all-out bash. Ramona and Mario prepare for life in an empty nest as they send daughter Avery off to college, while Kristen and Josh seek professional help to put their marriage back on track. Sonja receives an unexpected piece of jewelry and a promise from Harry Dubin , Aviva’s ex, but a shocking turn of events rattles their relationship to the core

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Let’s Chat!

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Posted in New York, RHONY Cast Blogs | 133 Comments

Real Housewives of Orange County – Point Break

 Real Housewives of Orange County

S9E13 “Point Break”

By Stars99

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Remember last week we learned: Tamra bitched at Eddie for not taking better care of their robo baby “Astro” so they aren’t having a baby anytime soon (As if they ever were)… I have a new obsession with “Resting Bitch Face Pictures”… Her Royal Heatherness isn’t enough of a snobby bitch so they got 2 new purebred non-rescued dogs but made a guilt donation to a charity… Mr. Unhappy is tired of Mrs. Unhappy’s continual bitching – He just wants to be happy, puhleeze!  Wow… was there a pattern or what?

This week’s episode begins with Heather and Terry meeting Vicki and Brooks (Ugh!) for dinner.  Terry prods Vicki to rat out Shannon. He wants Vicki to tell them exactly what Shannon said in Mexico about them. Vicki gives a synopsis of the events ending with Heather kicking Shannon out of her house. Vicki says she was told that Heather told “the world” about Shannon’s marital problems.

Heather - Moi

Her Royal Heatherness looks down her nose at the peasants amongst her, puffs out her chest and indignantly replies, “Do you think I would have someone leave my house for no reason?” Then Heather launches into her “perfectness mode” and points out how she’s been a friend to Vicki for years and that she didn’t bring this subject up… Vicki rightly points out that it was Terry who brought it up. Heather spins her side of the story… In her talking head, Vicki insists that Shannon really didn’t “yell” at Heather at the infamous Christmas Party – that she really just raised her voice. Heather is disappointed that Vicki seems to be taking Shannon’s side. Vicki doesn’t understand why Heather doesn’t have any compassion for Shannon right now. Vicki wants Heather to be nice to Shannon. She also wants Shannon to be nice to Heather. I think Vicki is delusional if she thinks it’s going to happen anytime soon.

Candle wonkyDavid and Shannon are at home doing the family dinner thing.  Oh, and drinking… Color me surprised! I’m distracted by the candles on the table being wonky. A big topic of discussion is that David is helping to chaperon Sophie’s class when they go to Italy. Wow… A class trip to Italy at 12-years-old? When I was 12, I think my class maybe went on an excursion to Pizza Hut. Shannon started telling Sophie that she is worried about the trip and that she’s not sure she will be safe on it. Great… Thanks, Captain Bringdown!  I mean come-on… It’s such a slap in the face to David – She’s in essence telling her daughter that she doesn’t believe David will keep his own daughter safe. How nice. Even if she has worries – She shouldn’t be telling Sophie – She should be telling David in private! Why do I have the feeling that Shannon is going to glue crystals all over Sophie’s body before she leaves? Don’t go to the dentist if she asks you to, Sophie… She’s gonna put crystals in your teeth! 

Tamra visits Vicki once again at her boring insurance office. The receptionist buzzes Vicki and tells her, “Your best friend is out front.” Even though there are camera crews there and it’s OBVIOUS this is all a set-up, Vicki pretends to inquire, “Which one?” Tamra pretends to be mad because of COURSE Tamra is Vicki’s best friend in the whole wide world. Then, for some inexplicable reason they start talking about how inconvenient it is to go “potty” in the middle of the workday. We learn way more information than we ever need to know. And because every conversation ends up being a gossip-fest, they start talking about Heather and how she’s really perfected the art of pointing her royal finger at everyone else.   

Lizzie is at her parent’s picturesque beach house in Laguna Beach getting ready for the dinner party she’s throwing for her castmates. The house has such a spectacular view – I just love Laguna Beach. It’s where we got married… Sigh… Christian worked hard to get the house ready for the party.  Oh goodie, there’s a seating chart!…lol.  Lizzie wants couples to sit together and for there to be an elegant, romantic feel for the evening. Hehehe… Lizzie thinks that whenever you throw a party, the host’s most important job is to ensure that people arrive happy and leave happy… And that everything runs smoothly in between… She’s obviously not attended many dinner parties with this group. I have a feeling that Lizzie is going to be disappointed tonight – I saw the previews. I think someone needs to calm down and take a Xanax. Perhaps it’s me. Perhaps it’s you. 

While in the limo on the way to Lizzie’s dinner party, Shannon expresses to David that she’s not too excited because they’re going to see the Dubrows for the first time since she was thrown out of their house. They talk about how Tamra has told David and Shannon multiple times that Terry has said that he wanted to “Take the Beadors down.” However, Shannon just doesn’t know if it’s true or not…

Shannon eyesShannon is a rookie to this cast and makes another newbie mistake. Evidently, Tamra has said things to Shannon off-camera and when Shannon tries to make Tamra confirm on-camera what she previously said – Tamra goes into deny, deny, DENY mode.  Shannon unsuccessfully attempts to take Tamra (aka “The Spoon” who loves to stir things up) off to the side to clarify things up for her. Shannon wants Tamra to confirm that Terry Debrow indeed called her and told her that he wants to, “Take the Beadors down.”… (Pronounced “Bdores” as in Adore/J’adore/Bdore… Who knew? And here I was mispronouncing it “bēdôrs” all this time, lol)…

Shannon knows that Her Royal Heatherness is NOT going to be amused when she finds out that Tamra has been going around telling people about what Terry allegedly said. She thinks that might be the reason why Tamra is now lying about it. Tamra is trying to act like it’s not the kind of thing that Terry would ever say. In fairness, I think that IF Terry said it – I’m sure it was said, 1) In a joking manner; 2) Because he was reminiscing about seeing the opening dance number of West Side Story and he meant it in a cheesy choreographed dance with finger snappin’ kind of way; or 3) Out of defense of his wife who felt she has been wronged by Shannon multiple times.  Honestly, do any of us REALLY believe there is an actual plot to take down the Beadors? It’s all very silly because they’re already doing a fine job of it themselves. It’s hard to take someone “down” when they’re already at rock bottom – But it is, however, quite easy to kick the hell out of them from a lofty royal throne… Tamra conveniently doesn’t recall ever saying it… Tamra is awesome at having “selective memory.”

Tamra WhatAfter enjoying some Polynesian Fire Dancers do their thing on the beach while some random guy walked by texting without even looking up at the festivities, it was time for dinner. The group gathered around the beautiful table and sat at their assigned seats.  Heather’s favorite part of the table setting was the place cards with each person’s name handwritten on a seashell… Dutifully, I looked really close to see if anyone’s name had a heart next to it so I could determine who was on whose team (Right, YoYo from RHOBH?)… But, alas, there were only squiggly lines underneath the names… In fairness, I didn’t see them all so I don’t really know that ALL of them had squiggly lines underneath their names – Some might have just had a single straight line. However, I AM confident that Heather’s squiggle was longer than Shannon’s squiggle… I’d sue if I were Shannon. (I adore/J’adore/Bdore the word, “squiggle” can you tell?)

After Christian makes a heart-felt but long-winded welcome toast/speech (Vicki snored through it in her talking head but fortunately had the couth not to do so at the dinner table)… Dinner ensued. Everything was beautiful… beautiful table… beautiful view… beautiful food… beautiful people… Could this dinner possibly go off without a hitch? Somewhere, someone starts to inexplicably sing, “Beautiful Dreamer”… lol… 

Suddenly everything went silent… I mean you don’t even hear crickets chirping. Only the sounds of clanking silverware against fine china and Eddie loudly chewing his cud echoed throughout the house – No one said a word.  Even the voices in Shannon’s head and every single one of Tamra’s multiple personalities were being silent. To make matters even worse, there was no mood music playing… No nothing… I think even the waves stopped gently lapping at the shore because they, too – Sensed “a disturbance in the Force.”   

Fav body partTamra decides to break the ice by asking people about their favorite body parts. She asks Vicki what her favorite body part is – and Vicki suggests that she ask Brooks (Ugh!). Brooks (Ugh!) first answers, “Her brain.” Puhleeze… Yeah, right… But when pressed to identify a physical aspect he especially likes about Vicki, he says, “Without question, her vagina.” Vicki tries to put her hand over his mouth – but the cat was already out of the bag (Intentional double and triple entendre)… I dunno if Brooks (Ugh!) said anything more than that because quite frankly my body shivers in disgust every time I see Brooks (Ugh!) and I momentarily lose consciousness.

Dubrow Academy AwardBeing the good lil Bravo employee she is, Tamra can’t help but tell Her Royal Heatherness and Terry about the “taking the Beadors down” conversation she just had in private with Shannon. Terry instantly confronts Shannon by yelling down the length of table at her. When David reasonably tells Terry that he shouldn’t have included the entire table in this conversation but should have taken it outside… Terry gets his panties in a wad and flips out that David is trying to give him “instructions.”  David insists he is not going to allow Terry to yell at his wife. Heather wants to know who told Shannon that Terry had said that. Shannon tells her that it was Tamra (who is sitting right there at the table with them). It also came out that Tamra has said it “a few times.” Heather confronts Tamra who flat out denies, denies, denies.  In her talking head, Tamra continues to deny, deny, deny. However, in her talking head interview, Vicki says that Tamra evidently has amnesia – because Tamra told Vicki the same thing, too. Unsurprisingly, Vicki just sits there and says nothing to back-up Shannon on this. Vicki does not want to be the object of Tamra’s wrath.

Shannon fingerDavid confronts Heather about talking about their marriage to other people… In her talking head, Heather suggests that David should be mad at Shannon because that’s where this whole thing started.  If Shannon hadn’t originally said something to Tamra then this wouldn’t be a big, fat, hairy fight. OHolyNighttheStarsAreBrightlyShining – When is Heather going to take any responsibility for what she did? Why didn’t she apologize for the part she played in the whole thing… This would have been a great time… Heather denies she was talking about their marriage. She said, “Wait, I wasn’t talking about your marriage… Your marriage was… [as David protests, Heather interrupts and says…] Excuse me but you’re wrong…”

Tamra spoonShannon attempts to calmly restate the facts as she knows them. She says that Tamra previously told her that the Dubrows were looking to take the Beadors down and that Tamra is now disavowing all memory of that conversation. In tonight’s edition of, “I KID YOU NOT” – With a completely straight face – Heather ACTUALLY says, “I’ve known Tamra for 3 years and she’s not a liar.” Okay, everyone quickly jump back 10 feet away from your screen – ‘Cuz I’m SURE a lightning bolt is currently hurdling from the heavens towards us because of that gigantic wallop of a lie. In her talking head, Shannon accurately points out, “Well Heather, I’ve known Tamra for 3 months and she HAS lied.”  

Shannon explains to us that either Tamra made the whole thing up and Terry never said it, or that Tamra is lying now. Either way, in my opinion, Tamra is a lying liar who lies. Shannon explains to the table that she privately asked Tamra about it earlier because she didn’t know why Terry would have said something like that. Since Tamra denied ever even saying it – Shannon completely dropped the subject for the evening. Shannon’s right – it was Tamra who stirred the pot and brought it up at the dinner table.

Lizzie Not AmusedThis is where I love Lizzie… In her talking head, Lizzie says, “Why would Shannon just make that up? Someone’s stirring the pot here – and it’s not Shannon… and it’s not Heather…and I don’t think it’s Terry… Who’s left? You do the math…” Okay, I’m gonna hafta take off my shoes and socks to be able to do this math… Wait, it’s Monday, I don’t hafta do Math on Mondays. It’s the law. 

Heather tells Terry that she doesn’t want to be “taken to task” over something she didn’t do. Her Royal Heatherness, for like the 409th time tonight, says that Shannon always yells at her. Heather doesn’t understand why it was okay for Shannon to “yell” at her in front of other people at the Christmas Party – but it’s not okay to discuss this issue in front of a table of people. Shannon tries to say there were only 2 other women present during their Christmas party fiasco… but unfortunately, Heather can count. So can we. 

Since things are getting heated at the dinner table, Shannon quickly excuses herself to go to the restroom. OOooOOOO… I bet they all switch places with her before she gets back to the table so we can replay ChairGate 2014©®™ again! Yippie! 

Tamra takes Heather outside to talk. Lizzie has noticed that whenever drama happens that Tamra always takes a person who is involved in the drama outside to talk. Lizzie wonders what is being said outside that can’t be said inside. Outside, Heather wants to make sure that Tamra isn’t lying about this whole situation. In another edition of, “I KID YOU NOT” – Tamra actually says, “My behavior is so wrong but I don’t lie – I don’t lie.” Lolol… Oh Tamra, repeating something emphatically doesn’t make it true. The truth is that Tamra lies so much that she’s lying about lying… She lies so much that she can’t remember all her lies… In fact, it’s hard for her to keep the lies that she DOES remember straight in her head. I wonder if there’s an IPhone app for organizing lies… Hmmm…. 

In her talking head, Vicki says she doesn’t want to get involved and defend Shannon because she knows how vicious Tamra can be and that she’s afraid that Tamra will somehow turn this around and go after Brooks (Ugh!). Shannon says she understands why Vicki isn’t getting involved because it’s an issue between her and Heather. I have a HUGE issue with this because Vicki has additional information that would validate Shannon’s story…because Tamra told Vicki the exact same thing…. And yet Vicki silently sits there. What a gooberhead. 

My gift to you: Not blogging about Brooks (Ugh!) insisting that he repeatedly kiss Vicki at the height of all the awkwardness at the table. You’re welcome. 

The rest of the evening consisted of one by one everyone being called out to the balcony. First, Tamra takes David out on the balcony to talk… Then Shannon joins them… Then, because Shannon has gone out there – Eddie joins them, too… Then Heather is summoned outside… There was a whole lot of hashing and rehashing of who said what to whom and why they said it. Shannon comes to the conclusion that Heather has her truth… and Shannon has hers.  Shannon won’t ever believe Heather’s version of the story and Heather will never believe Shannon’s.  

After she’s heard Heather’s side of the story, when it’s finally Shannon’s turn to speak… She starts by explaining how she went to the Dubrow home feeling very hurt and broken… But before she could say much more – Her Royal Heatherness interrupts Shannon which causes Shannon to lose it. Shannon’s mad because Heather is once again spinning everything against Shannon by complaining that Shannon always yells at poor, poor innocent ‘lil Heather. Heather has now successfully baited Shannon enough for Shannon to actually scream at her. As if reading from a script, Heather plays the poor, poor Heather victim role she’s so great at playing in this situation. Shannon is losing what little is left of her ever lovin’ mind. Tamra physically grabs Shannon and places her hands on both sides of Shannon’s head to try to calm her down… Yeah right… Like THAT would calm her down… I know it would just make me angrier…

TruthShannon storms out of the room yelling, “I’ve f***n had it with her – You will ALL see the truth.” For some unknown reason, Tamra is grabbing at Shannon and in a high-pitched squeaky voice (like nails on a chalkboard) Tamra yells right in Shannon’s face, “Stop it!”… Whoa… Holy Crap on a Cracker! Shannon is trying very hard to get away from Tamra but Tamra won’t physically let go of her. Finally, David gets to where they are and somehow separates the two of them. Shannon has asked Tamra repeatedly to get away from her and to leave her alone. In the most grotesque and insincere way possible, Tamra pretends to be concerned about Shannon’s well-being.  

Lizzie blames the fact that her party is in the gutter on Tamra bringing up the “Take down the Beadors” comment. Me thinks Lizzie is not happy with our beloved TamTam. 

Next week it looks like we get to see the aftermath of this party from hell. Oh goody! 

That’s all for this week – Hope to see ya next week! Thanks for reading… Happy Trails!

 

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Happy Birthday BB

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Posted in Real Housewives of Orange County | 184 Comments

Let’s Chat – Real Housewives Of Orange County / Ladies Of London

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“Point Break”

When Lizzie invites the women to a dinner party at her family’s beach house, tensions are high as Shannon and Heather come face-to-face for the first time since Heather kicked Shannon out of her house. Vicki brings Brooks to the party in hopes for a clean slate for him and Tamra. After a fiery show on the beach, tempers flare once again when a big accusation is made.

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“I’ve Been To London To Visit The Queen”

While training for an upcoming race, Annabelle becomes bedridden after an unfortunate horse training accident. Meanwhile, Caroline decides to throw a dinner party to bring all the girls together. Caprice’s manners come into question when she arrives late to Caroline’s party, however, some very big news may trump her tardiness.

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Tamra Judge

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Let’s Chat!

 

Posted in Ladies Of London, Orange County | 97 Comments