Brandi Glanville Expecting Backlash from Next Episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills by NMD
Brandi Glanville released a youtube video yesterday warning fans that she was about to act like a drunken bitch on the next three episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She also mentioned that she will tell inappropriate jokes. Now it turns out the jokes may be racist. She’s preparing for the backlash, tweeting:
“@AdrienneJanic @etirsa @JenniferGimenez Sex talk top of next episode of #RHOBH just b4 I become a racist alchi bully victim bi-polar peep”
But almost as soon as she tweeted that she began to argue with folks on twitter, explaining that she wasn’t a bully when it came to castmate Joyce, but rather just a bitch. The difference according to Brandi:
“Their’s a HUGE difference Between a bully & a bitch!If ur name is Joyce &I call u Jackaline that makes me bitchy NOT a bully& U the VICTIIM!”
Then she began to show she wasn’t the victim. “Its hard cuz I KNOW Im a good person& sometimes I fuck up but the haters on social media R FUCKING ASSHOLES” (14o character limit and she drops the f-bomb twice. Deep sigh.)
When asked if her calling Joyce by the wrong name was intentional or an accident, she admitted it was intentional, but then somehow blamed it on Joyce. “honestly I fucked up a bit – but this person is the beauty queen of throwing labels out”
And finally, Brandi just wants us to understand her. ”you may see me telling haters to F-off or defending myself from gossip mags & v personalities but I dont think I ever hate any1 I just dont” You see – Brandi is free to label people as haters when they tweet something she doesn’t like to her, but please don’t label Brandi as a hater. There is a difference and she gets to decide when the label is used.
This blog is dedicated to Terry Aley – I made a blog out of five tweets, not one. :)
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Blogs Blogged by Stars99
Once upon a time there was a land filled with Botox injected and surgically enhanced pretty people. We call that “Silicone Valley” – No, no we don’t (that’s in northern California). Here we call it “Beverly Hills.” It’s a land where it’s very difficult to distinguish fake from real and yet we watch a show called, “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” as if there’s such a thing as a “real housewife” in Beverly Hills. Hardee har har har… This week’s episode was somewhat mundane yet was somehow sprinkled with monotonous regurgitations of previous bladdity blah blah blah storylines. Unfortunately, their blogs were certainly no different. So let’s take a creative look at excerpts of some of their varying perspectives of the exact same occurrences, shall we?
Brandi – You’re a Fine Girl – What a Good Wife You Would Be
NOT! After all the comments in the blog about people wanting to rewrite one of my favorite songs from days gone by the Looking Glass (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Z80oHUZOw), I just couldn’t resist thinking about the lyrics to the song as I watched Brandi picking up her doggie gifts they left so generously in the middle of her nice leased, wooden floor. Can you say, “Take your dogs outside so they can do their thing?” Why yes, yes, I KNEW you could. By the way, I thought Brandi went furniture shopping… There was hardly anything but doggie poopy in that room… Just sayin’…
On a serious note, Brandi blogged, “I started crying the second I saw Chica my puppy who went missing.” Oh okay, perhaps that’s why she doesn’t let them poop outside… But, come on… At least supervise them when they go outside or train them to do their thing in one protected area like a normal responsible dog owner? Geesh…
Brandi wasn’t the only one having pet issues during this episode – We watched as a very worried Carlton brought her prized black cat named “Midnight” to receive acupuncture treatment after he had a pretty severe 18 foot fall from an inside balcony. Carlton fills us in on what she had done medically before taking her furry friend in for this particular treatment. Carlton writes, “I rushed him to a veterinarian where they x-rayed him, and found no broken bones or internal injuries. They also did blood tests and pretty much said he was fine, just very bruised, and gave medication for his pain. This bloody scenario of going back-and-forth to the vet went on for another four weeks! More x-rays and more meds, but he made no improvement or showed any signs of getting better. He just looked worse.”
Whew… aren’t we all a little relieved to know Carlton sought other types of treatment than something that involved needles, crystals or a spell? Actually, Carlton sweetly told about her kids putting healing crystals around Midnight’s bed because they were afraid that Midnight might not get better since they had recently had other pet cats die. One of Carlton’s good friends recommended the acupuncture vet because she swore the vet had saved her dog’s life. Obviously, Carlton wanted to do anything and everything she could for her furry child.
Carlton writes, “I am thrilled to say after about eight sessions of both [laser and acupuncture treatments], our Midnightis miraculously brand spanking new and all because of the incredible healings of Dr. Gray and Candice [Carlton’s friend]. Oh and I haven’t seen him on a railing since… However his brother Griffin continues to give me bloody heart palpitations!!!” Dare I say anything about the names of her cats? Nope, I dare not… It’s no secret – I’m a scaredy cat! (Come on now, you knew I’d say it, didn’t you…lol?)
Before we move forward, it really strikes me as odd that Brandi is still not talking to her Dad… Didn’t she say it stems from her a dress choice (or lack of a dress that was made with actual fabric) she wore at an awards show? Anyhow, IPPHO™®© Brandi needs to figure out how to immediately make amends to her Dad who has severe health issues at the moment. I know she’s parlaying this whole thing as a side-storyline… I’m sure next week we’ll all get to hear the letter she emails to her Mom so she can preview and comment on it before she actually sends it to her Dad… Note to Brandi: Not everything that happens in your personal life needs to be a RHBH storyline… Honest…
Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater
Okay, stop me when this sounds familiar… A prominent Beverly Hills man cheats on his wife… Yeah… Well… It happens ALL the time. However, while it’s true that Mauricio does love to flirt and would probably do so just to sell a house – it does not necessarily mean that he has cheated on Kyle. It’s wise for us to keep in mind that we also have at least 2 housewives (Yolanda and Brandi) whose ex-husbands put them and their families through the wringer by their cheating ways. Then we have Lisa who openly talks about “Sur” as the place you take your mistress. I’m sure Lisa’s eyes have become more and more jaded after seeing what goes on in her establishments every day.
Brandi is not missing an opportunity to bash Lisa as she blogs, “I am really feeling sorry for Kyle at this point with the ongoing, back-and-forth stance Lisa is taking about the Mauricio cheating scandal.” She also quotes Lisa saying something like “Where there’s smoke there’s fire” when they were all talking about Mauricio’s cheating at the luncheon… Even though in the same breath, Lisa said that it’s all rubbish… Brandi wants to know, “Which is it?” The problem is – that both statements have truth to them. I’m sure Lisa hopes that it’s all rubbish and that it’s nothing more than gossipmongers having a field day… But stranger things have happened and she cannot absolutely rule it out. Lisa blogs,“Who does know what transpires in somebody’s marriage? However I am adamant that what is printed in the tabloids is not to be relied on. Much has little merit. I have the sentiment that if Kyle doesn’t believe it and he denies it, then that’s good enough for me. Who cares what a tabloid says?”
The problem is Lisa, you should be 100% behind Kyle on this subject on national TV no matter what doubts may linger in your mind. Kyle blogs, “After last week, I really was at a loss as to how I could move forward with Lisa and Brandi. Then after seeing this week’s episode it makes it even more difficult. Lisa brings up the tabloids once again and so clearly wants to cast doubt on my marriage and Mauricio’s integrity while pretending to be supportive. You aren’t being supportive if you’re saying “Well, I don’t know for sure” and putting that out there. I am very appreciative of Ken speaking up to Lisa and saying he knows it’s not true because he knows Mauricio and considers him a friend.”
Kyle continues, “There have been many stories that I have HEARD. Of course you don’t KNOW for sure, but when you know someone you have a pretty good idea of who they are — AND we all know what the tabloids have done to all of us. I certainly wouldn’t be worried about “looking ridiculous” when it came to lies in tabloids about a friend, even if we aren’t as close as we used to be. Once again, it meant a lot to Mauricio and I that Ken was so supportive. I don’t want that to get lost in all of this.” Kyle, you’ve just confirmed part of the problem… You’re right – Perhaps Lisa DOES have a pretty good idea of who Mauricio is and has reticently reached her own conclusions… However, on national TV, I don’t think there is a problem with showing blind loyalty to a friend, while maintaining open and honest discussions with said friend behind camera impervious closed doors. Lisa should take her cue from her husband, who handled the whole thing with amazing tact and diplomacy.
A Star is Born on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
David Foster got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and everyone is just too excited for words. Yolanda is not the only one who calls her husband a genius, because Carlton gushes as she blogs about David, “It’s almost surreal. David’s accomplishments alone are extraordinary. He truly is a genius. But what’s even more surprisingly rare is that he’s a very cool and accessible man.” Of the ceremony, Brandi blogged, “Every which way I turned there was another music legend. I may have snuck some pictures and stalked a few of these superstars for photos with me.” Brandi, you forgot to mention you made an offensive blind joke about a music icon. Just shakes my head at her sheer stupidity… Kim writes about David’s star, “How exciting to see David Foster receive a star on the Walk of Fame?!? CONGRATS! I love the way he included Yolanda and her children in his speech! You’re truly a star David! Everyone looked so happy and beautiful!” Even Joyce was excited about the event, “David’s star on the Walk of Fame is huge! I was very happy for him because he truly does deserve it. He’s very gifted in what he does, he’s a gentleman and a beautiful human being.”
Carlton also just can’t help but tell us that this was her 2nd time to be invited to a celebrate the installation of a star on the Walk of Fame when she blogs, “This was my second such honor as our son’s sexy godmother Perla and Slash invited us to his ceremony last year. Slash is a true rock legend. . .I’m allowed to brag. I f—ing love them! Different ends of the spectrum, but both undisputedly brilliant at what they’ve done and continue to accomplish — and to witness something like that is an honor for me.” I kind of think that the prerequisite for someone being able to get along with Carlton is to have a creative first name of some sort. Sorry Joyce, your name is just too normal… You might need to change it to “Miseri,” “Ebony,” or “Pantene” to get any respect from Carlton. That last one would really piss off Kyle and that would be sure to endear you forever to Carlton.
Yolanda writes about her experience, “I had never been to a star ceremony celebration but, as you can imagine, we had an incredible day celebrating my husband and his 40 years of accomplishments in the music industry. To me, he is my love, the extraordinary man that nursed me through the darkest year of my life while battling Lyme Disease. But today we are celebrating the music genius and the extensive body of work he has created for the world to enjoy. He is one of the most brilliant musical minds of our time and has created the soundtrack to our lives. After 16 Grammys, one Emmy award, a Golden Globe and three Oscar nominations, in 2010 he was inducted in the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and I was just so excited to be out of bed and by his side to see him get his well-deserved star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was a very exciting and memorable day spent with our big, unconventional family and a few close friends. Thanks for letting me brag about my hubby for just a little bit.”
Think what you want about the person of David Foster, but I have to say I, too, think he is a musical genius. I know Yolanda’s gotten a lot of grief about her placement of David’s Grammies prominently on the piano. Now don’t throw lemons at me, but I’m pretty sure that if I was married to him – I’d make sure his Grammies were somewhere really visible, too – They’re something in which to be proud. Now if they were mine – I’d probably use them as bookends… but I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be proud and gloat about your spouse’s accomplishments. However, I don’t think putting awards on a piano is the right place for purely acoustic reasons… but that’s a whole nuther Oprah. Perhaps they should line the walkway leading up to the front door… hmmmm…. Too ostentatious?
Yolanda can’t resist tossing a joke towards Lisa as she blogs, “Sorry Lisa, but neither Giggy, you, or I will ever be considered for a star or nominated for being a Beverly Hills housewife. With all kidding aside though, I actually might be wrong about that. I guess these days, wannabes become famous for all kinds of crazy things.”
For kicks and thrills I decided to find out about the eligibility requirements for getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. For those not in the area, the Hollywood Walk of Fame is comprised of over 2,500 stars on a public sidewalk which stretches on both sides of Hollywood Boulevard and Vine Street in the heart of Hollywood. Hollywood Walk of Fame recipients are chosen annually by a subcommittee of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce (Kyle joined the wrong chamber, me thinks…lol). Around 20 stars are added each year from among approximately 200 nominations in specific categories: motion pictures, television, audio recording, radio, and live performance. While anyone can nominate someone, the following conditions must all be met: 1) A letter of agreement from the nominated celebrity or representative must be forwarded to the committee for consideration and nominee must agree to appear in person in a ceremony installing the star within 5 years of the nominee’s selection; 2) The application must contain information about the nominee’s contributions to the community and civic-oriented participation; and 3) A sum of $30,000 must be arranged to be paid upon the nominee’s selection. If you want to see the nomination form itself, it can be accessed at: http://www.walkoffame.com/media/walkoffamenomination.pdf
Fortunately, Yolanda’s mother and brother were able to fly in to be part of this important event. Yolanda tells us that she tries to include them as much as possible in these types of occasions. Yolanda blogs, “I am excited for you to finally meet two of the most important people in my life. My father died when I was seven years old, so my brother Leo and I were raised by our extraordinary single mom, Ans, who dedicated her life to both of us. Our life was extremely humble so at an early age she taught us to work hard with great pride and integrity. Getting out of my little town in Holland to provide for them was one of my greatest accomplishments.”
I know a lot of you aren’t fans of Yolanda’s… but I gotta say I admire her drive. Her beauty of course has helped her out a lot, but I know a bazillion of really gorgeous people who have accomplished far less in their lives. However, it is also true that she had a big leg up on so many other people… and it just happened to a beautiful leg that went on for miles and miles… On second thought maybe I do hate her… lol…
Yolanda continues, “Watching myself goof around with my brother just makes me so happy because no one knows me like that guy does, and even if I don’t see him for a year, our banter continues exactly where it left off. People probably perceive me as a bit boring, because I am a little slow in the humor department but it’s just hard for me to get jokes when they’re told in English. I am always the last one to get it.”
I loved watched Yolanda interact with her brother – it was so playful and fun. I think it would be really difficult to understand jokes in a different language – so much of humor relies on nuance and subtlety… I guess that’s why the “Three Stooges” translates so easily for other countries – their humor is more of an “in your face” and physical type of humor.
You’re Not Wearing THAT are you?
On Kim’s daughter’s graduation day, Kim’s wonderfully supportive sisters decided on Kim’s outfit. Kim blogs, “When I came out in my first outfit option you could tell they weren’t too thrilled. My sister Kathy has a very funny way of giving you advice in the sweetest way possible, but if she doesn’t like what you are wearing she will drop a hint and encourage you to change.” Kim, honey, I know you may have not been sober long enough to fully understand this – but Kathy was mean and insulting… and her comments were coming from someone who was inexplicably wearing animal print and who actually owns a dress shop. But at least Kathy actually attended the graduation, which was more than she did for Kyle’s daughter. Most of Kim’s blog was dedicated to talking about how proud she is of her daughter, which was really quite sweet.
Lisa, Cut that Umbilical Chord, Will Ya?
Oh Lisa, Lisa, Lisa… Your daughter is a grown woman… let go! I found it odd, as accomplished and professional as I think Lisa is – that during this episode she was having a conversation with her grown, married daughter about her not moving to New York even though there was a compelling job offer at stake for her husband. Lisa blogs about the situation, “But after that initial announcement they came up with another plan and wanted my blessing, a plan to recreate the sangria that we have sold for years in SUR and VILLA BLANCA and take it to the market, with my approval on all aspects — taste, design, etc… I was hesitant to venture into anything business oriented with Jason, as I believe we have a perfect relationship and I didn’t want anything to jeopardize that. Anyway, they decided to run with it, and I am extremely proud of their new business venture. I have overseen and been instrumental on every aspect of it. It is exciting times.” Wow, Queen Lisa really does always get her way… By the way, I just realized that “Pandora” would qualify to be a friend of Carlton’s because of her name. Hmmm…. Speaking of Carlton…
Brandi Kissed a Girl and She Liked it…
So Lisa and Brandi were out bikini shopping… Brandi is so not someone I would want to go bikini shopping with… but Brandi blogs, “Although I own over 100 bikinis, some of which are one-of-a-kind that I designed myself, I have a little bit of an obsession with them and can always use more. I picked out a few cute ones, and although I am happy with my body at 41 and after having two kids (and I do workout really hard), it is still annoying to see my little mommy belly baby pooch.” Oh Brandi, puhleeze, weep… weep, weep.
So like, while they were shopping, Brandi breaks the news to Lisa that she “made-out” with Carlton. Lisa was incredulous and blogs, “In the midst of her trying on not very much, she states that she “made out” with Carlton… I was stunned, firstly because she announced something so personal for the world to now know. I had no idea how Carlton as a mother and wife would feel about that. Was there not an unwritten code that one would not disclose that? That is between them and certainly not my battle. I imagine it was a frivolous moment, not that I have ever had any like that. But I would be more concerned with the lack of discretion and take note for the future.” Well Lisa, I’m actually surprised Brandi didn’t tweet about it and post a picture. I hear rumor the DVD is for sale on EBay and can be streamed on Netflix.
Carlton blogs, “And moving right along to a nice little eye opener for me. Oh fantastic! Yes watching Brandi tell Lisa that we made out was a little surprising — and maybe if I had known her better I might not have been shocked. But like she said, it was just a kiss, no torrid affair. We didn’t elope. I make no apologies for having kissed girlfriends. It’s bloody harmless.”
Okay… the thing is… On what planet is this okay? Carlton is married. Brandi spends most of her time tweeting and chirping about people who cheat on their spouses. So is this supposed to be okay because Carlton is female? Imagine if the situation was that Brandi kissed Carlton’s husband… We would immediately think of it differently, no? You don’t kiss married people… ever! No matter what “agreement” they say they have with their spouse or which sex is with which sex – At least not in my book. And this is all being played out on national TV. Both Carlton and Brandi have young children… This is just getting too much! Their children are going to suffer the consequences of their reality fame grasping and shock-value bombing choices. Make it stop! Bravo, make it stop! Do it for the children whose parents have no morals!
So, by now, most of us have read Brandi’s preemptive apology for what we’re about to see in the next few episodes. She acknowledges that she’s a mean girl towards Joyce (she uses much more colorful language… but I’m trying to be careful…lol)… Whatever happens, it’s a biggie… Brandi is blaming the alcohol and probably anything else she can think of including Joyce herself… I don’t think it’s going to be pretty. I don’t ever remember seeing a preemptive strike like this before… The thing that struck me about this so-called apology – is that there is nothing in there that says “I’m sorry” to Joyce. She apologizes to us viewers about what we’re going to see… So is that really an apology? I think Brandi really, really screwed up on this one on all fronts. First, she said the stuff. Second, she isn’t offering an apology for saying it… just that we have to see her like that, at least that’s what I got out of her little “apology.”
Joyce alludes that she has issues with Brandi when she blogs about the different between Kyle and Brandi, “Kyle is fun and bubbly, so she makes me feel like I can be open and unfiltered with her. That’s why I explained the silly incident with Lisa to her. I still can’t believe that, as always, Brandi tried to twist the truth after stirring the pot to shift the responsibility away from herself. Unfortunately, she is one of those people who ALWAYS plays the victim and believes nothing is EVER her fault.” So, buckle up, Buttercup – it’s going to be a bumpy ride… I can’t wait! Wheee eeee eeee!!!
Happy trails… See ya next week!