The Real Housewives of New York City – Fireworks / The Amazing Race – We are whiny little bitches -S24E8

RHNYC_S6_Cast

The Real Housewives of New York City – Fireworks

By Empressofaiken

Before they took their road show to the Hamptons, the ladies had some business to deal with in the city.  Ramona hired a photographer to take picture of herself with the family dog, Coco, which was to be made into a calendar for Avery’s dorm room.  I’m sure Avery is thrilled to tears.  Sonja happened to stop by with her new dog, Marley, who shared a glass of water with her mistress.  Sonja had an entire law firm camping out at her house, trying to find a few bucks to keep a roof over her head.   She has big plans for the future including some new business ventures.  It sounds like the toaster oven idea has gone to appliance heaven because now Sonja is talking about producing a line of shirts and taking her Caburlesque routine to Europe.  Ramona, not unlike Harry, and just about every one else in Sonja’s life, would just like to see her concentrate on one thing and work at keeping her house.

Heather and Jonathan met with a hearing specialist and Jax went through a series of tests to determine the likelihood that surgery may restore some of his hearing.   This kid has been through a lot in his short life and his parents are devoting everything they have to make him better, even when the odds are against them.   There’s nothing about Heather that could be criticized during this episode.  She and her family are amazing and loving human beings.

Kristen and Aviva took their kids for a play date to make soap, of all things.  Kristen wants to know that she’d like to be friends with Aviva but doesn’t want to be in the middle of the ghostwriter debate.  Aviva shut her down, telling her that she didn’t want to hear any negativity in front of the children.  In case Kristen didn’t understand the first warning, Aviva told her to “shut the f** up”  in front of the children.   Aviva is single-handedly redefining the meaning of crazy.

Kristen Is Shocked

Everyone’s went off to the Hamptons for the Fourth of July.  Heather and her family rented a house and Carole met up with them there.   Carole wanted to talk about Aviva but Heather, who was waiting for a call from Jax’s doctor, didn’t want to hear about it.  She turned the conversation to where it should have gone – the concerns over a little boy facing a lifetime of challenges.  She cried to Carole, telling her that she would be happy if she could just fix one thing for him and surgery on his ears could be that one thing.   She also said, in her talking head, that Carole needs to stop obsessing over the book.  I think all of us echoed an “amen” for that.  The doctor called Heather and delivered the good news, that Jax was good candidate for the surgery with a good prognosis, to boot.Carole Radziwill, Heather Thomson

Ramona and Mario were at their house in the Hanptons, playing tennis with LuAnn and Jacques, when Josh and Kristen arrived.  The overly controlling Ramona has a fit over the couples lack of proper tennis footwear.   Kristen talked to Ramona about Heather’s party and Ramona’s decision to be a no-show.  Ramona doesn’t care for Kristen having the audacity to question her.  She tells Kristen that it’s none of her business, and she should just sit down and look pretty.   Both of them call the other a hypocrite and another weekend in the Hamptons is off to a great start.

Ramona held a dinner party for the entire group.  Having just come off the high from her beat-down with Kristen, she was ready to confront Sonja and her financial problems.   Ramona heard that Sonja’s burlesque act was raunchy – the Countess was there and confirmed that it was.  LuAnn is very good at carrying stories and getting in the middle of things that really aren’t her business.   Sonja got upset with Ramona and told her that she’s not a good friend to her.  She said that Ramona couldn’t handle a day in her life and has no idea what kinds of things she goes through all the time.   Aviva joined them to try to make peace between them, reminding them they’re good friends, sisters even, and that this too shall pass.  Ramona and Sonja hugged and kissed, and things did look just the tiniest bit better between them.   Meanwhile, Mario and Heather were talking about golf and cheating.  Mario said that the best cheaters are the ones who get away with it – in every sense of the word.  Not the smartest thing he could have said on camera and within earshot of Ramona.

Finally, there was a clambake at a house that Aviva borrowed from a friend.  This made Kristen very happy, because that was also the name of an Elvis movie.  Carole and Mario are demonstrating different gestures and using Italian terms, all of which translate to “F**k you”.  Aviva interrupts to drag Carole off for another conversation about, what else, the damned book.   Aviva started by setting the ground rules for the discussion including what words and terms were verboten.  Then it was time to argue about ghostwriters and editors and Bill Whitworth.  My eyes didn’t start to twitch this week – instead they began to close, because I’d already come to terms with and resolved this issue in my head weeks ago.  Nonetheless, they go on and on in the same circular argument, with neither of them really getting any closer to resolution than they had before.Aviva Drescher, Carole Radziwill

Heather joined them, trying to get the two to stop the nonsense, to no avail.  Then LuAnn dropped by, literally.  She fell on Carole’s ankle while trying to sit down.  Her attempts at peace didn’t work, either.  When LuAnn and Heather gave up and left, Aviva told Carole that she’d read Carole’s new book, which surprised Carole, as it hadn’t been released yet.  Aviva said that she got a galley copy from her friends in the industry.  She then told Carole how wonderful the book was, what a great writer she is, yada, yada, yada.   I don’t know if I would have trusted this new and improved Aviva, full of nothing but kind words and glowing reviews.  Don’t pet the snake.  They’re known for shedding their skin.

Carole was recording the audio version of her book.  Good thing it was caught on camera or there might have been accusations that Bill Whitworth sounds just like her.

Oh, and this was the second week without Amanda.  Nice.

Empress

 Link back to Empress’ NY Blog here

Thank you Empress

____________________________________________

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Hello again Racefans… We’re still in Italy this week and Brenchel won the last leg.. I can’t remember who got sent packing last week which means they weren’t that important to me but there are 6 teams left so here we go (Surfer dud is gone.. Booohooo).

t1The next leg starts off with Brenchel leaving first and they have to drive 80 miles to get their next clue and, there is a double uturn ahead. They want to get there first so they can turn the cowboys and force them to use their express pass. Blondes are next to leave and we get to hear about how sweet it was that Dave and Conner let them step on the mat first in the last leg. These two women make me want to wretch. Both this and their last season, they cannot run their own race. They are running the same race as everyone else and can barely drag their own asses to the daily finish line without playing the damsel in distress for someone else to help them. Anyway, they’ve all agreed to work together. Father Dave just thinks the world of them and thinks they are the most genuine girls in the world. Dave, how did you get to be so old being such a sucker? One of the blondes says of their total race experience says “we’re just two blondes kicking ass” Kill.Me.Now. Let’s kind of sum this up so we know where we are at. Brenchel left first and seems to have a clue of where they are going. The Blondes are following Dave and Conner but manage to get separated along the way. The fellas are worried and the Blondes believe they’ve been ditched because, hehe, it’s a race. The cowboys HAVE to use or lose that express pass (Nice try, Brenchel trying to make us believe you’re going to make them use it – 8th leg rule). The Animals are aware now of the uturn and know they’re in trouble, perhaps. The Globretrotters are dead last to leave. Kind of tired of being in the same spot like that. All teams have basically the same map they got from the hotel lobbyist.

t3The clue they were racing to get to was the detour. One was to race donkeys, for time, in a circle while a band played music.To the left, you see a pair of asses on top of a pair of donkeys. That would be Brenchel. They have 2 minutes to complete 3 laps around this track.

Folks I can’t get into writing this this week. Here is a pretty complete recap from Entertainment Weekly.

The Whiny bitches in my title, Are Dave and Conner. Mostly Dave. They got uturned by Brenchel AND, GASP, Brenchel won’t even help the helpful super duo. So Dave is t6having a hissy shitfit about being a 60yo man getting uturned.. ‘Scuse me, Dave… How many episodes did we listen to you brag about coming back after screwing up your foot? Grow some new balls, pull up your depends, and STFU. Dave  and Conner turned the animals, then told them they had done it. Had to turn somebody t2(No they didn’t). The Globetrotters and the Blondes are completely lost. So both the uturned teams had to do both tasks or take a penalty for whatever they missed. Superduo helpers and the animals are doing the build a donkey task. That task is to use ALL the parts provided to build this toy donkey (Sorry for the shitty picture, it’s nearly impossible to get a good one on this part of the show). What everyone fails to do, is read the directions on the clue. There is no sample to follow so they have to assemble and hope. The part of the clue that apparently everyone missed was the part that said the moderator would load something (firewood) on their contraption to be delivered for their next clue.. The box that contained all the parts, was hinged so it could be placed on the contraption’s back, to be used as saddle bags.

The Animals went back to race the donkeys while the superhelperduo finished their cart contraption. They had already done the donkey ride. Animals are finally getting the contraption done to be delivered but not before they are stuck helping the blondes build theirs. Of these 3 teams, I’m oddly liking the afghanimals. The Blondes rubbed my last nerve raw on their first season and father and son have this season.

Just as all teams are headed for the roadblock clue, the Globtrotters show up. They try to ride the donkeys first but Big Easy is on one, that he could have put on his shoulders and carried around the track, who refused to budge. They decide to switch to the build task but make the same mistake as everyone else did and switch back to the live donkeys. This time they get a pair of speedy ones and get through it finally.

t5The roadblock, is to make an exact duplicate, to the approval of the head monk at this place, in order to move on. Rachel is an Arteeste so she wants to do it. She screws it all up the first time and has to do it again. All the while (I would Never question somebody’s spirituality), for the camera, Brendon is kneeling and Praying. In one episode, he’s in tune with Buddhism.. In this one, in this holy place where they copy book pages, he’s catholic or something like that. Dude, make up your fucking mind.  I want to punch this guy in the throat. I have hated him since the second Brenchel big brother season (My first and only). I thought he was a flaming asshole  (along with those two Dbags Jeff and Jordan) then and the fire has not cooled, he’s still a flaming asshole. If anything, he’s gone into afterburner mode. Rachel is about half way done with her second attempt when the whiny 60yo man who was uturned by those evil Brenchels shows up, with the others, minus the globetrotters. The 60yomrhelpersuperman doesn’t want to do this task so he makes his son do it. His depends must have fallen down again as now he can bitch directly to Brenchel about being left behind and forced to do both detour tasks.

Guess what, Kids.. They all get through it. They’re all off to the pit stop except the trotters (who eventually do as well).. Brenchel gets there first, wins the leg and $7500 apiece. Maybe they can combine it and buy one of them a new personality. Cowboys are second. Whiny60yo tripped over his depends getting there third. Geranimals and the Blondes who once again had to be helped,   got there 4th and 5th after stopping for some repayment to the fellas for helping them. That leaves the Globetrotters, the only team that made this show worth watching, finished their 31st leg last and they were eliminated.

See you next week with leg 9 – MTH

 

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Posted in Amazing Race 21 plus, Real Housewives of New York | 69 Comments

Real Housewives Of New York Cast Blogs – Let’s Chat

 

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Real Housewives Of New York S6E6

Cast Blogs by Ramonacoaster

 

Kristen: I Am Having Sex With My Husband

How did this Episode get so sexual? All the BJ talk, threesome talk, sex while pregnant talk — or lack thereof?

I’d rather watch an episode of Sex and the City.

Ramona is back, trying to fix the big mess. Good for her. We are so over it. She is the only one trying to at this point.

Technically, you are all co-workers so someone should be trying to get everyone together to film.  Ramona understands this.

I am happy that Aviva and Heather sat down to work through their issues. Wait. . .what were they again? Oh right, they just don’t like each other? Mmmmmm good luck working that out. . .That’s going to be a hard one. Oh, nope they worked it out. They both agreed to not like each other. Phew. . .

At least no one grabbed each other and drag the other across the floor by the hair.

Heather’s Party: Beautiful Party. Heather and John are just so wonderful together, so in LOVE. Not to compare, but we are all different. Josh and I are very much happy and in love. We just have our moments. . .I HATE when he is late and doesn’t communicate it to me. That night, perfect example. We agreed to meet at the party. He called me five minutes before I was leaving to say come get me and we will go together. I am very set in my ways and scheduled. I didn’t want to be late. Ugggggh he just beats to his own drum sometimes. And, well, just every once in a while I want him to remember work will come and go and his wife and family are forever.

I think he needs to be reminded that his wife may not be forever and the kids he could see on the weekends and every other holiday.  Maybe he’ll appreciate you more.

The therapy thing. . .I had been seeing some one off-and-on for a bit. He finally agreed to go to therapy, so I asked my girl. It was harmless, he saw her one time. She helped, it’s not a big deal. It was a little wifey white lie that’s all. No harm, no foul. They eventually find out. . .when you shoot a reality show.

Tiny snowflakes can turn into an avalanche if you’re not careful.   

Aviva on Frenemies

Boxers often embrace each other after a vicious fight. You see opposing team members hug each other following a brutal football game. Tennis players at least shake hands after an exhausting match. There’s a certain gentility, respect, an acknowledgement that although we’ve been pitted in combat against each other, we walk away from the battle, the trash talking, and the competition when the game is over. . .even it we’re going to pick it up again tomorrow.

If Aviva considers being a housewife a competition or a physical endeavor, what do you win?

That used to be the way with us Housewives. In the heat of the moment, we could say some awful things about and to each other, then in more clement moments insincere apologies would be issued and we’d air kiss and make up. Even without the calming influence of pinot, there was a glue (not the sniffing kind), an affinity, a consanguinity that maintained our tight little band/sorority/clique/gang/coven. We may not have been planning long walks through the heather or seaside vacations together, but we recognized our bond, and were civilized enough to enjoy each other. . .when we weren’t scratching each other’s eyes out.

You have been a housewife for one season.  You’re not Vicki for crying out loud.  Have you seen what Porsha did recently? Or Teresa did her first and second season to Danielle?   These women are not going to air kiss and makeup.

  1. This season seems to be the end of all that. The battles on the air have continued in these blogs and over social and traditional media where antagonists have planted stories, savaged their rivals though surrogates on Twitter, and even enlisted minions to plant unfavorable reviews on Amazon and elsewhere.

Well this has prompted me to head over to Amazon to checkout the reviews.  I noticed a lot of 5 star reviews came from a lot of one reviewer profiles who reviewed the book as soon as it came out.  If it makes you feel better, I’m sure there are a few that actually liked your book.

Yes, Carole and I had a spat about ghost writers blah blah blah (I won’t bore you with the details again) and, really, WGAF? As literary feuds go, it’s not exactly Wordsworth and Coleridge. And for making an impact in modern terms, while our books are doing respectfully, J. K. Rowling vs. Suzanne Collins it ain’t. (I just checked Amazon and neither Carole’s novel nor my memoir Leggy Blonde cracked their top 10,000 in sales — though Carole’s first book hit number one in books about drawing. Yes, odd as it is, Amazon thinks What Remains is a book about drawing. And we both got our butts kicked by the The Berenstain Bears and The Easter Story, but that may just be seasonal fluctuation.)

Ok, so you suck at marketing.

Carole was shocked, shocked that there were rumors about her book having been ghostwritten and that I would ask her about it, and contracted terminal vapors about how my query to her has destroyed her career. She fought back with mouth and guns blazing, even releasing her Diddy-certified, street wannabe, attack pit bull Heather on me. This was months ago. And we’re still fighting. Really? The Capulets and Montagues were more forgiving. (Sorry, was that too Vassar? OK, make it the Jets and Sharks.)

Stop fighting before the audience decides to put a pox on both your houses.

It would have been no small journey to come back from all the sniping. Nevertheless, in this week’s fairly tame episode (to spice things up, Bravo showed you Heather calling me a “motherf—er” again like three times), I attempted to talk it out with Heather and try to get back to what passes for Housewife tranquility.  Heather was having none of it. She felt I had injured her patron Carole too much. She did tell me that she was having the rest of our merry Housewife band at her anniversary party. It’s Housewife etiquette for all of us to be included in each other’s events. At the height of GhostGate, I invited Carole to my housewarming party (I should have been more clear; apparently she thought it was a houseburning party). Heather said she was undecided about whether or not to invite me. Then later, a couple of hours before the event, she informed me — by text — that I didn’t make the cut. She would have let me off the hook earlier but she was on a “conference call.” Then, in case I might have forgotten how “street” she is, she ended the text with her signature “holla!” 

I like Heather but it was bad form to do that.  You guys are coworkers and need to film together.  It is a very mean girl move.  Even grade schoolers have more class.

It’s odd, after all that, I was hurt. It would have been better, of course, if the night before Heather had just said something like, “OK, let’s try again — but after tomorrow.” Instead she put me on the bubble (“I’ll invite Aviva, I’ll invite Aviva not.”) then left me hanging until the next afternoon to burst the bubble. How do you make someone feel even worse about not being included? Well, that technique works.

She should have told you not to come to her party because feelings were still pretty high at the time.

I think she found it too defiant and provocative that I didn’t curl up and die from her attack at LuAnn’s. That’s the way it is with bullies. I walked away. She couldn’t get to me by going all thug on me so she did it this way. And dammit, it worked. So, yes, I was hurt. But I’m a big girl; I’ll find a way to handle it. But I also mourn this new era in Housewife Town. The era where at the end of the day, we’re not a group, but just individuals who can easily be dismissed and discarded.

Ok now you are going a little too far playing the victim card.

Heather: I Don’t Hate Aviva, I Hate Her Behavior

Packed to the hilt, the event brings a full house to Karen Karch and I’m so happy you get to see the beautiful pieces she designed. They are extraordinary. All the girls are out to support the cause and Ramona practically came straight off the plane from Africa — I am so grateful to see her that I give her a big hug and kiss. I am delighted Ramona and I are finding our way and truly becoming friends. I bring her up to speed on the Aviva issues and she seems to understand and agree that Aviva just goes in too hard and too deep. The pattern I see with Aviva concerns me, and I have to be honest about my feelings. We are not in a good place because the hard hooks I continually see her throw at people are recurring and something we all recognize.

At least you see the behavior, now you can deal with it.

The next scene finds Kristen, Carole and I on location in NYC at the spring photo-shoot for Yummi by Heather Thomson. This is not the first time we have used Kristen to model and she always delivers. The first time I hired Kristen years ago, she and Josh had just moved back to NY and I didn’t even connect the dots that she was Josh’s wife! She won us over on her own merit! Kristen is gorgeous and such a great representative for Yummie. She loves my leggings and I’m glad you get to see her rock them! Of course, everything looks great on Kristen — but my leggings are a favorite and it feels good that she not only models for me but genuinely loves my products. I feel the same about Josh’s EBOOST– it’s the real deal. Carole often pops in on my photo shoots. It’s always good to have her around. I am so happy Radz and Kristen are developing a genuine bond of their own.

I don’t think Kristen needs any tummy holding in pants.  Her tummy holds itself in.

While we are taking a break, as if on cue, I get a call from Ramona who is now suddenly dead set on forcing a peace between Aviva and me. And it certainly feels forced. . .Why do I feel as if I am being ambushed? But I agree to drinks with Aviva in hopes of setting the record straight. Who knows, maybe she misunderstood my intentions, feelings, and outrage and maybe we can put this behind us and move forward, or in the least have a better understanding of each other.

Ramona realizes that she needs her other coworkers to get along.  Hey if she can put aside her feelings regarding the Avivamonster and hang out with her then everyone needs to.

Drinks with Aviva — right out of the gate, she wants to set ground rules. After last week I am not happy I lost my temper. However, I know myself and can’t promise not to swear in a conversation of this nature. I do need to work on that but this is not the time. We are both arch and ready to attack. Maybe I am programmed this way because I now have so much experience with Aviva and her tactics and know I am next in line.

Put 5 bucks in the swear jar and donate it to your charity.

The idea that Aviva thinks a comparison with the late Anna Nicole Smith, (R.I.P) and Sonja is a compliment just shows how different we think. To me it is outrageous, even egregious. As glamorous as Anna Nicole was, her alleged addictions drove her to the grave too soon — not cool Aviva! It also wasn’t cool that Aviva twisted my words around to make it sound like I don’t appreciate stay-at-home moms, which is typical Aviva. REWIND girl! I said nothing in reference to mothers at all. I don’t name drop. My career includes working for well-known people who have greatly impacted my life and just so happen to be famous. It’s always a tit-for-tat with Aviva and yet again, instead of taking any responsibility for her actions she tries to turn it around to support her negative argument, just like she did with Carole.

I feel like Aviva should be reminded that there is a camera rolling and can playback her twisted version of events.

I said nothing about working mothers vs. stay-at-home moms. What I did say is that Aviva doesn’t respect the careers people build, or the people that have built them. After two glasses of wine and several lipstick applications, I come to the conclusion that only one thing that truly matters remains: Do Aviva and I care enough about one another to try to move ahead? I have said it and I mean it — I do not hate Aviva, but I do hate her behavior. I met and grew to care about a person who is of value, but that person doesn’t come out much anymore. Come on Aviva. . .be honest, be real, and then we can have fun!

Whether you build a career or family, the fact that someone has poured their time, heart and energy into something should be valued and not broken down.

I do leave drinks with an open mind about inviting her to our anniversary party, but unlike Aviva, I am honest. And even with the pressure from Sonja and Ramona to invite her, I know in my heart that it’s too early to go there. I need to navigate through moving forward honestly. Of course, I also need to run it by Jon and I believe in going with your gut, and clearly made the right decision. This night is about me and Jon, not me and Aviva.

I think it is the way you disinvited her that was not cool.  Making her wait until a few hours before the party to disinvite her is a crappy thing to do to someone.  It doesn’t look like you are moving forward honestly.

Jon and I have had 10 wonderful years as husband and wife. The time flew by but our years have been marked with some exceptional moments especially having our kids. We have so much to be thankful for and to celebrate and I really wanted to share and mark our first 10 years on the actual date, with a very special occasion full of many of our true friends that you don’t get to see. I was a bit disappointed that Sonja and Ramona decided to not only to skip the party (after RSVPing yes) but to do so without any heads up to me. Instead, they designated LuAnn as their emissary of regret. There is more to this story than solidarity with Aviva, I might add.  Wow. . .but you know this behavior is completely in character for the both of them.

What they did was not good form either.  At least they never put out an etiquette book.  I understand that they recognize a certain behavior from you that you withhold invites to people as a form of social power.  Deciding not to go, takes that power away by not bringing any value to the invite.

Ramona, I guess once a s— stirrer, always a s— stirrer and that stinger of hers, is ever present. I try not to sweat the small stuff and that is exactly what their behavior was. I don’t have time or energy for worrying about these two ladies who live at the fringe of my life. I just continue to learn about them both, warts and all.

I guess their countermove worked because you saw the value they would have brought to your event and now you are trying to take that value away by inferring that Ramonja mean very little to you.    Their presence at your party would have probably brought your party more airtime therefore more value.

What’s important tonight is friends. One of our besties, Carole, wrote and delivered the most wonderful speech to Jon and I but you don’t get to see it — like a lot of the party — but I can assure you it was a celebration! The best celebration of good friends, good food, lots of Ciroc, and thanks to my dear friend and DJ PeterPaul, who was also at our wedding 10 years ago, good music! The tunes were rocking and we got to do just that! Everyone here is where they want to be at this very moment and that is what is important to me.

Sorry there was not much airtime for your party. I think Ramonja tried to teach you a lesson that you should invite all your castmates if you knew the production crew would be filming the event.

Ramona Explains Why She Didn’t RSVP to Heather

I remember being really thrown off and a little hurt when Heather did not invite me to London last year. It’s not a great feeling to not be included when everyone else is. Obviously, with Aviva being the only one who was not going to be invited to the party, it did seem like history repeating itself. By alienating Aviva, it was only going to prolong the issue.

True dat.  I understand you were hurt by Heather and she is repeating history with Aviva but why support Aviva when she has attacked you and Sonja? I do agree that Aviva should not have been disinvited because you are filming a show together. The whole “don’t film with that person” or “don’t invite this person” is being very manipulative.

I thought it was urgent that Heather and Aviva make amends so we could all just hang out and get along. It was for the better of the group that not too much time passed with all the fighting. I felt they needed to meet up and just squash it. They needed a little push — so I was there to give it to them!

I’m sure you would prefer that Aviva be the villain than yourself.  It’s a lot less stressful.

Sometimes Aviva speaks without thinking. That’s what she did when she compared Sonja to Anna Nicole Smith. It was clearly not a compliment and when Heather called her out on it referencing the previous comment about a”downward spiral,” you could tell by her face she realized and was embarrassed.  Aviva does seem to favor drama a bit. I think this has been pretty evident since the “Where is my banner?!?” St Barth’s debacle.

I think Aviva likes to go for the jugular when she is hurt.  But who the hell gets hurt when they don’t receive a welcome they felt they deserve?  There are worse things in life to get hurt over.  Not getting a banner is not one of them.

When Heather invited me to her anniversary party, it was a true sign our friendship was taking a turn for the better. It had occurred to me though that Avery was leaving for school in four weeks. I wanted to spend that Friday and weekend with her, just hanging at home, seeing her girlfriends come over and spending that time with her. I admit it was selfish of me — but when it comes to my daughter, I would do anything.

Avery shouldn’t be used as an excuse.  You wanted to make a point to Heather.

I didn’t tell Heather I wasn’t coming because I didn’t want to upset her the night of the party. Maybe that wasn’t the right decision. I did send her the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I could find the next day as an apology for missing her special night.

Not attending while you RSVP’d yes is very rude.  If someone did that to you, you would flip your lid.

I didn’t take Heather’s comments about Sonja and I being on the fringe to heart. When people are hurt they say things they don’t mean. We have since moved past it as that’s what true friends do!

If you could move past things with Aviva, I’m sure giving Heather a pass is no problem.

Carole on Fight Club Rule #2

Remember, last season, my Real Housewives Fight Club Rule #2: Invite me to your party.  Our little world thrives on party invites, it’s an integral and recurring theme. Any show that has “party non-invite” as its central conflict drums up the operatic high drama of a good Russian novel. It’s the Real Housewives’ Crime and Punishment: first the horror of a non-invitation, and then the shattering aftermath.

Heather paid the price with less air time for her special day.  It looked like the party was over in 2 seconds and Heather was whining most of the time.

Heather’s anniversary celebration was fantastic. It’s inspiring to be around a couple like her and Jonathan, they’re solid. They have great friends, and are generally the most fun couple I’ve had the pleasure to spend time with.

Outside of that, what’s to say? Threesomes pair well with caviar. Ramona watched lion porn in Africa. Vivs still goes on and on with her rules, and her nonsensical analogies. I could go on and on telling you all the ways she was unsupportive of me but you’ve heard it and I don’t want to bore the life out of everyone. She doesn’t seem to mind.

Unfortunately this crap doesn’t sell books.  I liked the caviar tasting.  It made me go out and buy some cheaper roe to consume with some sour cream and toast.

Lu is still trying to figure out why we can’t just all eat paella. Kristen seduced Elvis, and Ramona makes fluffy eggs.

Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, I dated George Clooney. Someone had to.

How nice of you to take pity on the poor guy.

Jonathan asked me to write something for his and Heather’s anniversary party. And like so many scenes where we are supportive, and not complaining about each other, it got cut. If you read it out loud with an accent it rhymes. Here it is:

Ten Years You’re Super-wife to Jon, and Yummie Mummie to Ella and Jax, A friend to wayward Mermaid Queens, An upstate girl, with big city dreams.

You can roll tough with Puffy, and still giggle with the girls. Ride motorbikes in denim, or rock a black dress and pearls. You always do what is right, and not just what’s popular. You tell people your mind, without judgment or gossip-er. You’re serious in business, yet playful in life. Met Jon on a beach, now you’re husband and wife.

Like the Eagle and the Hummingbird, the Lion and Lamb, the Athlete and the Spectator, Or Peanut butter, and jam I draw from your strengths. For our differences I give thanks But also, for your cheshire cat smile and those three-paneled tanks.

Cheers to your wonderful husband, and your beautiful marriage, and to our vodka-fueled cherry bombs. and a friendship I chair-ish.

LuAnn Reminds Ramona NYC Isn’t the Savannah

Why Ramona felt the need to put Aviva on the phone with Heather while shopping for home goods is baffling to me. I guess Ramona wanted to seize the moment? She’s been feeling peaceful since her trip to South Africa, but she’s not in the Savannah anymore, this is NYC darling.

It must baffle you when Ramona does things spur of the moment.  I understand it is not the way you operate when it comes to female relationships.  I think her way is just more entertaining.

I understand why Heather didn’t invite Aviva to her anniversary party because even though they made up, the wounds were still fresh and Heather really wanted this night to be drama-free. I was stuck in the middle between Heather and Ramona and Sonja — but I eventually had to say that they weren’t coming to the party so that Heather didn’t expect them the entire night.

Poor Luann to be stuck in the middle and delivering the message.  Still not part of the drama and not a very good voice of reason.

As for Ramona, Sonja and Aviva being on the “fringe” of the friend group, that remains to be seen. These ladies are very much a part of our lives so let’s see how this season plays out between us all.

I can see that Heather so desperately wants to put herself and Carole front and center of the attention in the group and delegate Ramonja to being bit players.  Ramonja are not ones to let others take the spotlight.  The rest of the season should be interesting.

Sonja on the Anna Nicole Smith Thing

I love it! Ramona walks in to the jewelry party and says — “Of course I’m always here to support you!” Heather and Ramona, best friends as always! I almost spit my wine out. How things change over time.

I’m sure Ramona was happy to get an invite.

Now she has disinvited Aviva. I feel bad. I didn’t feel bad when Ramona was disinvited to London because it was Heather’s trip, it was costly and Ramona is a big girl. Aviva has been cut out of everything. A’Diva is fragile, in my eyes, been through a lot of crap for decades and now she was invited to the anniversary party and then not invited! Ramona was never invited to London.

It is nice that you want to champion Aviva.  Apparently there is something more going on than just what happened in Aviva’s past.

Aviva saying that Anna Nicole Smith’s spiral downwards was similar to my situation is not a compliment. After all, the girl is dead. I said this before. I think that Aviva gets nervous and blurts things out in her defense instead of going with her feelings. Why didn’t she just say that she was wrong in saying that and that she adored me? Or say that she was just lashing out and coming from a bad place, and that #Ramonja got over it? That would have shut Heather down, no?

A lot of people’s pet peeves is when someone takes out their frustrations, anger or anxieties on them.  It has nothing to do with them yet they are paying for it somehow.  I doubt Heather would stand for that.

Carole and I have another man in common – Yolanda’s husband David Foster. The housewife world really is so small! But at least he’s real! Can we talk about Kristen and the fake Elvises that she has allegedly has been swapping spit with? We really have to get to know this other side of Kristen. As the stomach turns.

Foster gets around.  Maybe as much as Clooney does.

Heather said that she was going to invite Aviva, then I find out she disinvited for sure at Aviva’s house with Ramona. Ramona wanted to go to the Hamptons and I wanted to go to St. Tropez with Big Ben to check on my house that is for sale. The energy was bad for Heather’s party and Ramona and I took it as a great excuse to take off.  Heather said we weren’t the special favorite people — so I don’t think she really missed us. Besides, we gave them something to bitch about. There was nothing else to vent about. Fringe friends is probably true. So. . .off to St Tropez I went with Ben to my best friend (and Godmother to my daughter) and to get that house sold.

I am sure you are other people’s special favorite people so not being Heather’s is no big deal.

Kristen said that I would care if Heather did not came to one of my parties. She really doesn’t know me. Not true! I’m not like that. I have a lot of parties and friends. I understand, and I’m flexible. I appreciate my friendship with Heather more than showing up to a party. We will have and have had many good times together, in fact I texted her to let her know why I needed to go to St. Tropez and she understood (besides that hot guy LuLu spotted was a guy Heather wanted to set ME up with!)

Not everyone needs to go to every party but to not go when you’ve already RSVP’d yes is not cool.

Ramona bird-dogged Heather and Carole big time. She sent Carole hunting after Aviva at her housewarming party and then somehow Heather got in a twist with Ramona? Oh, that Singer Stinger!

The Singer Stinger strikes again.  She is the veteran that runs the show.

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RHONY New Episode Tonight!

“Fireworks”

It’s the Fourth of July weekend in the Hamptons, and the women gather for some fun at the beach. Kristen and Ramona butt heads over Ramona avoiding Heather’s anniversary party. The tension sets the mood for the rest of the weekend.

Let’s Chat!

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Posted in New York, RHONY Cast Blogs | 219 Comments

Real Housewives of Orange County – Dancing With The Stars

 Real Housewives Of Orange County

S9E2 “Meet And Potatoes”

by Stars99

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow, Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Welcome back… Last week we left Vicki positively speechless (I know, shocking, right?) when Heather and Tamra started grilling her about her current relationship status with Brooks during dinner on their last night in Hawaii. It’s too bad that Vicki’s “Brooks” has ruined everyone whose name is “Brooks” for me… That includes Mel Brooks, Albert Brooks, Garth Brooks, and Brooke Burke. Heck, now I even look askance at “babbling brooks” these days.

Vicki insists that Brooks is helping to make her happy (gag). She explains that she and Brooks went to counseling separately. I guess somehow that means that they should be dating. Brooks has told Vicki that she is worth fighting for… In my opinion, this feeds into Vicki’s romanticized notion of love wherein a man on a white horse rides in and fights heroically for her hand in marriage. I am all for Vicki dating whomever she wants to date – regardless of what her adult daughter or this blogger thinks. However, I have not seen much evidence of Brooks respecting Vicki or her family. He is just too danged slickery for me. But fortunately, I don’t ever have to date him… Whew… (shivers).

In her talking head, Tamra bravely says that Vicki is just out to prove everyone wrong about Brooks… VickiBut to Vicki’s face, Tamra’s all about giving Brooks another chance. Vicki explains she wants to take her relationship with Brooks to another level – Which to Vicki means moving in together. They talk about what this would mean to Vicki’s very disapproving daughter Briana (who is probably moving to Oklahoma, if you didn’t read last week’s musical production notes). It’s becoming more and more clear to me that Vicki just wants someone to play with… And Brooks fits that need at the moment. On a side note, may I say that Vicki looks absolutely fabulous… Her hair, her face… I think even her dimples are smiling these days.

Shannon’s kids are going to cotillion classes. Honestly, I didn’t even know they still had this kind of thing here in Southern California. For those of us who have blue collars, Shannon explains that “cotillion” is a class on etiquette, manners, and dance.  This means the girls have to wear pantyhose and gloves.  David, Shannon’s husband, who also happens to have a blue collar, had never heard of it before… His daughter politely explained that perhaps it’s because he doesn’t have good manners.  I’m sure she said it with her pinky properly extended. Shannon takes this opportunity to tell us that she’s cranky with her husband because she doesn’t get to spend much time with him and she feels disconnected from him. I think Shannon has a problem with over-sharing.

Tamra wants Eddie to hang curtains with a gigantic power tool.  Okay, it’s only an electric screwdriver, but still… Not sure if it’s just me – but Eddie seemed very inept with this electric screwdriver. He seemed so ill at ease to me that I’m not sure I’d even let him around an electric toothbrush. I would have thought he would have been used to things that vibrate in his hand, but that’s a whole nuther Oprah.

Since her kids are with her ex-husband Simon for Halloween, Tamra tells Eddie that she wants to invite the witches in her life over for a “Spooky Party.” She doesn’t want it to be a “costumey” kind of party – but instead she wants it to be scary. Eddie does not want her to have an Ouija board but Tamra thinks it would be a good idea. Gee, I wonder who is going to win this battle?

Tamra really misses her kids because she only sees them 50% of the time. Although Eddie is content with their family exactly how it is right now, Tamra really wants to consider having a baby with Eddie. Since Tamra has had her tubes tied, they would have to explore other ways to have children… For example, through a surrogate or through an adoption.  It’s hard for Tamra to think that she and Eddie are a family when her kids aren’t around.  I know a lot of single people and childless couples who wrestle with the concept of being a family that doesn’t include kids. Many consider this to be a huge hole in their lives and they agonize over it every single day.

On one hand, I can totally understand how a mom would deeply miss her children if she only got to see them 50% of the time. On the other hand, Tamra just spent last week’s episode complaining about how busy her life is (with the opening of their fitness studio) – So when would Tamra have time for the kids 100% of the time? I suspect Tamra doesn’t want to work at the fitness studio anymore…lol… In other news, in the “I’m surprised she has okay taste” portion of our program, Tamra has little by little modified she and Eddie’s home to reflect her feminine tastes. The once dark and dreary bachelor pad is now light and airy.  Who knew Tamra had good taste? I really didn’t look that closely… but the overall look is much better, IPPHO.

Vicki comes to the “Spooky Party” early so she and Tamra can get the appropriate spooky make-up treatment – Except that Vicki does not want to be scary – She wants to be, “cute.”  I don’t blame her – She paid a lot of money for that face. Tamra breaks the news to Vicki that Heather is bringing a “friend” to the party with her.  “Welcome Wagon Vicki” snottily retorts, “Oh joy, another new b*** I’ve got to like.”  That’s got to be the quote of the night, no?

Vicki always takes hold of teachable moments so she can impart her words of wisdom in our general direction. In her talking head, Vicki instructs us that there are absolutely, positively 3 things she always lives by when she meets new people. These are must haves – and if you’re found lacking, you’re just out of luck as far as Vicki is concerned. Okay, get out your “Hello Kitty” notepads and purple pens because you’re gonna want to write these down. Vicki says the 3 things that she lives by when she meets new people are as follows and I quote, “You have to make me laugh, I have to learn from you, and… and… and… ummm… ummm…” <Zap…zap… bzzzzzzz…. nothing…> Wow, it’s so pivotal to life itself that Vicki can’t even remember the third thing she always lives by… I’m completely dying laughing because that’s so something I would totally do, too… lol.  I’d probably remember the 3rd thing at 2:19 AM after waking up from a deep sleep!

Tamra - IntroIt’s the night of the “Spooky Party.” Her Royal Heatherness is bringing new girl Shannon to meet all the other housewife witches.  Shannon will no doubt be quickly volunteered to be the “human sacrifice” should one be necessary during the course of the evening. Her Royal Heatherness’ “Zit Tip” of the night:  If you have a huge blemish on your forehead and if you’re going to a spooky party – Just plop a 3rd eye right over it and no one will ever know the difference.  Except of course if you tell everyone, because then people will just keep staring at your 3rd eye to see if they can actually see the outline of the zit in question.  I know I did… lol.

In yet another rookie mistake, “Over-sharing Shannon” criticizes the quality of the food at the “Spooky Party.” While “Over-sharing Shannon” likes the creative presentation of food at this “Spooky Party” – She complains that there is nothing really of substance to eat. She notes that a blob of marshmallow really isn’t dinner, and neither are a couple of pieces of watermelon.  “Over-sharing Shannon” doesn’t yet understand that housewives rarely eat while filming… but she will learn…

Spooky1Shock of all shocks… Vicki seems to really hit it off with Shannon especially when she finds out that Shannon is also an Aries! They all start talking about their recent trip to Hawaii when “Over-sharing Shannon” turns the conversation towards the brontosaurus-sized bone she has to pick about her husband. “Over-sharing Shannon” is cranky that her husband prioritizes vacations with the guys a couple of times a year over the two of them going away for some husband and wife alone time together. Evidently, in their entire 13 years of marriage, they’ve never gone away on a trip alone… Whoa… What’s up with that?  It was suggested that Shannon plan a trip… But Shannon insists that she needs to see the effort made on her husband’s part… Okay, well, so Shannon, how’s that working for ya?

Okay, at the risk of making everyone mad at me… It just drives me crazy when someone demands that their spouse jump through hoop after hoop to just make them happy. If Shannon wants to go on a trip with her husband – She should tell him she wants to plan a trip with him and that he’s responsible to make dinner reservations for a couple of nights or perhaps he picks the hotel or something. Granted, David should have recognized by now that this is important to his wife and he should have stepped up to plan something. I mean, it’s just so danged easy to get away here – Within a 2 hour driving radius you can easily be in a cabin in the mountains, at a beachside resort, down in San Diego, up in Los Angeles, or in the apple orchards of Julian, etc… This should not be a hard thing to do. However, to be fair – from what I’ve seen thus far about Shannon, I’m not sure that any plans that David makes would be good enough for her… Shannon would like us to believe she is so danged down to earth… but then I quickly remember that she actually sends her daughters to cotillion classes. Sorry, I don’t buy it…

Oh goodie, Shannon is reprimanding her husband again. Evidently, there is a feng shui law that requires they maintain 9 lemons in a basket for good energy at all times.  And horror of all horrors, you guessed it, hubster wanted to use one of the lemons. Silly, silly him… Wait… whose job is it to make sure they have enough lemons in the house? It can’t be his job, can it? Where is YoYo when you need her and her lemons?

Shannon tells David she wants to have her new friends over for dinner. She wants to make everything herself instead of calling a caterer. I think that’s kind of kewl. Shannon has decided that David will have to cook his famous beef dish. David isn’t sure about Shannon’s choice of menu because he thinks that meat is a very heavy meal. They bicker back and forth about this. Do any of us really think that David is going to win this particular battle?

Opinion talkHeather, Tamra and Shannon meet for dinner.  Shannon invites the women to a dinner party at her house…  Her Royal Heatherness and Tamra really don’t know what to make of Shannon.  Shannon tells them that she has jewels placed inside her teeth because gems can heal. Yes folks, Shannon actually feng shui’ed her mouth.  The holistic dentist who recommended this treatment told her it would cost $20,000. Shannon balked at the price. The dentist, “consulted his psychic network of friends” (I kid you not) and found out that in one of Shannon’s former lives that she had “saved a nation” and he would therefore be honored to provide the work for free. Okay, raise your hand if you thought of “Miss Cleo” or “Dionne Warwick” when you read, “psychic network of friends.”…lol…

Heather tries to tell Shannon that she is concerned that, “People like you” who are very trusting, holistic and open – May get taken advantage of by others.  Tamra doesn’t think you should ever say, “People like you” and she knows very well that if someone had used that same terminology towards Heather that she would have flipped a fig. So in case you’ve missed one of the major storylines this season, it’s that Her Royal Heatherness is up “here” and everyone else is down “there.”  Sighs… Can’t this franchise come up with different words to describe the same thing? I hate it when we quote Kelly Bensimon of RHONYC.  Satchels of gold.

Heather opinionIn a quirky, funny way Shannon recognizes that she’s a walking contradiction. She wants to create the most healthy, non-toxic environment that she can for herself and her family… And yet she drives an Escalade.  She wants to be healthy… Yet she doesn’t exercise.  Laughingly, she says she knows she doesn’t make sense and she wishes she could figure herself out.

Tamra tells the others that she and Eddie are talking about having a child together.  Heather asks her what Eddie thinks. Tamra says that Eddie is content with their current situation. Tamra tells them that she only gets to see her kids 50% of the time at this point (Like almost every other divorced parent). Heather asks if that’s why she’s pushing Eddie in the direction of having more kids. Tamra breaks down crying and says she wants a baby that would be hers and Eddie’s. Tamra doesn’t want to be a part-time mom.  Heather thinks that Tamra may want to have another baby because she thinks it will somehow fill the void of the other 50% of the time when she doesn’t have her children around her. Heather seems to feel it might be a replacement for what Tamra’s lost through the divorce.  Shannon thinks Her Royal Heatherness has an awful lot of opinions and little red flags are springing up everywhere for her regarding Heather.

Tamra - babyIn the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve glossed over a couple of scenes involving Vicki. One of them is centered around Vicki’s obnoxious adult son, Michael who is basically walking around the house brushing his teeth and criticizing Vicki. For those who care, Michael has moved to San Diego and can telecommute to work. I hear it’s because he is the son of the boss…lol. It doesn’t seem like Vicki has ever visited him in San Digo – I’m guessing he won’t give her the address – like when he lived in Balboa. The other scene is of an individual counseling session wherein Vicki talks about Briana and Brooks yet again. Ugh. The counselor says that Vicki has allowed Briana to have a lot of control over her life. The counselor wants everyone to be responsible for their own thoughts and feelings. He tells Vicki she should allow Briana to have her own thoughts and feelings… and that Vicki should maintain her own thoughts and feelings as well.

Oh goodie, I was wondering why we hadn’t had another scene of “Over-sharing Sharon” criticizing her husband for a whole 10 minutes.  Evidently, it was David’s job to pick-up wine for the dinner that evening. He meant to get 4 bottles of red and 4 bottles of white wine. However, when he was at the store, he was only given 2 bottles of wine. When he tried to text and to call Shannon, she evidently didn’t answer because she had so much other stuff going on.  He actually comes home with only 2 bottles of wine. Shannon flipped out because what if everyone wants wine? She demands that he go back to the store. By now, we’ve all seen this humungous home – How can they NOT have a wine cellar downstairs? Or at the very least – a place to keep several bottles at a time? I cannot believe that they only have the 2 bottles of wine in the entire house… However, perhaps wine bottles are fung shui-challenged. Actually, I think this entire house is fung shui-challenged no matter how many crystals were originally buried when they poured the foundation for this home. I don’t know about you, but I’ve not seen too much evidence of peace and harmony. Can you imagine how bad it would be if there weren’t crystals in the foundation of the house and in Shannon’s teeth?

Rut roh, there’s no fuel for the torch so that they can torch the crème brûlées.  I guess that was David’s job, too.  Oh no, the potatoes aren’t done either – They’re still crunchy. I’m sure that’s David’s fault, too.  While her guests are fending for themselves out in the living room, holistic, down to earth Shannon is busy zapping the heck out of the potatoes in the ever healthful microwave oven.  Oh no, now they can’t find the carving knife for the beef. Turn around David, Shannon probably stuck it in your back.

Meanwhile, the living room crowd are amusing themselves with nice stories and platitudes. Heather and Terry talk about their darling 3 year-old (Collette) whom they affectionately call “Cocoa Bean.”  Terry launches into a story about how “Cocoa Bean” is “so mean” to him when he comes home from work. If he kisses her on the head, she runs off and screams to mommy about it. You just know that Tamra is giving Terry the evil eye from across the room because Eddie is sitting there listening to all of this.  I’m sure Tamra wants to kick Terry in the shins because this is certainly not helping persuade Eddie into entertaining the idea of having a child.

And I bet you thought I forgot… but in this week’s edition of “I Kid You Not”… Terry, when referring to his darling 3 year-old daughter, actually said, “She’s such a b***.”  I kid you not! So riddle me this… At what age is it EVER appropriate to call your own daughter a b***? I’m guessing 3 is a little young… Is it 13?  23?  I just can’t believe he did that… Can you imagine the taunting Collette’s going to get by the other kids in the family, “Daddy called you a b*** on national TV….. hahahahahaha!” What was he thinking? It just boggles my mind…

The guests are trying to talk loud enough so they don’t hear the bickering that’s going on in the kitchen. As David and Shannon join their guests, David said he was told that a Sagittarius can’t ever please an Aries. He said that simple truth explained so much to him – He said it was like an awakening, “Right, Shannon?” Over-sharing Shannon, dryly responds, “Apparently… Because you won’t let it go….” Vicki seemed to get shivers because this whole evening reminded Vicki of what life was like when she was married to Don… Vicki is concerned for Shannon and David because if they are saying these kinds of things in front of people they barely know – What must they be saying to each other behind closed doors?

Well, that closes the door on this week’s episode.  See ya next week!

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DWTS ABC logo

Dancing with the Stars S18E6

by BB

Scores from last week:

James 40
Danica 39
Amy 37
Charlie 37
Merrill 36
NeNe 36
Candace 35
Drew 28

This week is Party Anthem week.  Guest judge is Redfoo from LMFAO.  NeNe and Tony are declared safe and they will dance first.  They dance a Salsa to the song It’s Getting Hot in Here by Nelly.  Len tells NeNe to work more on her technique if she wants to go further.  Score:  33.

James and Peta are declared safe for this week.  Candace and Mark are in jeopardy for the second time.

Candace and Mark danced a Cha Cha to I Love It by Iconic Pop.  I thought that was her best dance so far.  Score:  32  Will she make it past this week?

James and Peta did the Quick Step to You’re the One that I Want from Grease.    Len didn’t like James’ technique this time.  Score:  35

Merrill and Maks are safe and Danica and Val are in jeopardy (what!!!).

Danica and Val danced the Cha Cha to I Just Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston.  Len called the best dance of the night thus far.  Score:  36  She definitely doesn’t deserve to go home but the results are not always fair.

Merrill and Maks danced the Tango to I Feel So Close to You Right Now by Calvin Harris.  I.Loved.It. even though I didn’t think it was fair for Merrill or Charlie to be competing.  It was great!  Score:  40

Drew and Cheryl Tangoed to Super Freak by Rick James.  I don’t think Cheryl and Drew have really clicked this season.  Score:  32

Charlie and Sharna Cha Cha to Everybody Dance Now by C & C Music Factory.  The judges liked it.  Score:  36

Amy and Derek danced a Jive to Shout by the Isley Brothers.  Amy continues to amaze.  So fun and Derek is a great choreographer.  Score:  38

Drew and Cheryl are in jeopardy, which means Amy and Derek and Charlie and Sharna are safe.

So which former sitcom star went home this week – Candace, Danica or Drew?  I hate to see any of the three go, but it was Drew who was eliminated this week.   I think the right person was voted off even though I like him.  He had the best attitude.

Totals for this week:
Merrill:  40
Amy:  38
Danica:  36
Charlie:  36
James:  35
NeNe:  33
Candace:  32
Drew:  32 (Eliminated this Week)

Next week is Latin night with Ricky Martin as guest judge.

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Happy Birthday AZGirl

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Posted in Dancing With the Stars, Real Housewives of Orange County | 156 Comments

Let’s Chat – Real Housewives of Orange County & Southern Charm

Real Housewives Of Orange County

“Meet And Potatoes”

The Hawaii trip concludes with the ladies questioning Vicki about the status of her relationship with Brooks and one last attempt to get “Fancy Pants” Dubrow to put on her party pants. Back on the mainland, Heather introduces the ladies to her future neighbor Shannon Beador when Tamra invites the women over for a spooky-themed night of food and tarot card readings. At a dinner, Tamra reveals that she misses her kids and is thinking about having a baby with Eddie. After meeting the ladies, Shannon invites them to her house for a “real” home cooked meal.

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Southern Charm

“One Of The Lost Boys Leaves Neverland”

It’s already the season finale! Apparently Bravo wanted to make sure we liked it before making more episodes.  Tonight on the show, it’s July 4th and independence is on the mind. First for Whitney who shows off his new apartment away from Mom, second for Shepwho makes sure that all of the women he’s sleeping with attend Whitney’s party, and third for Thomas– fireworks fly and as one chapter ends and a brand new one begins.

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Heather Dubrow will be a guest on Watch What Happens Live.

Let’s Chat!

Posted in Orange County, Southern Charm | 92 Comments

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Season 6 The Reunion Part One

RHOA Season 6 The Reunion Part one
by Ramonacoaster

The dynamic divas are sitting down to their reunion.  Andy does his customary greetings.  Nene is in a long, long-sleeved fuchsia gown. Kenya has a scepter because she deigns herself the queen and knights Andy. Porsha bought herself new twin boobs that she is showing off in her bronze beaded gown.  The lawyer is wearing her hair up in an ice blue beaded gown with these huge earring (it’s nice that she repurposes old chandeliers). Kandi is wearing a black gown with white beaded sleeves and Cynthia is wearing a black gown with a silver beaded sash. They are showing scenes of all the good times they had dancing.  I fast forwarded the Kenya twerking scenes.

Some viewer shamed Cynthia for not knowing how to twerk.  The lawyer said she is a gangsta robot.  Nene didn’t have much to say about Cynthia’s twerking.  You can feel the tension emanate but they continue to go back to bantering.  Andy asked a viewer question if Kenya’s butt is real.  No one has felt Kenya’s butt to know if it is real and I doubt they’d ever want to be that close to her.  The lawyer called it “a diaper booty” and Kenya took exception to that.  Andy asked about the dick comment in Mexico and Kenya stated she had no problem getting dick.

Andy asked Kandi what is the next step for A Mother’s Love the musical.  Kandi finished the DVD and they are thinking of touring.  Tyler Perry really liked it.  Nene declined being in the musical and Nene said Kenya put it down by saying it was a “chitlin” production and Nene said she just didn’t have any time for it.  Kandi didn’t think Nene would want her to be her boss. Andy asked Cynthia about what she felt about Todd.  Cynthia said she didn’t know Todd that well and she had heard that Todd was an opportunist.  The lawyer always knew Todd was going to be her husband and she always liked him.  Todd didn’t sign the prenup yet.  The reunion filmed 8 days before the wedding.

A viewer thinks Nene is a hypocrite when she wants everyone to come on time and she comes late to Kandi’s event.  Nene thinks being late is rude and the worst offender is Kandi.  Kandi admits she has been late but she has been better this season.  Everyone has been a late offender at least once if not several times.  Kandi knew to stop for Chick-fil-a before the trip to Savannah because she spoke to the lawyer on the phone and she knew she was running late so she felt she had time to stop for a bite.  A viewer thinks Kenya was wrong to talk about Kandi’s weight and Kenya thinks Kandi is built like a brickhouse and has a nice shape.  Kandi doesn’t feel that she is the widest and refers to Nene.  Nene thinks everyone says stuff because they are on the show.  A viewer thinks the lawyer is not very Christian-like to call Kenya “an escapee from whore island.”  Kenya thinks a woman who calls another woman a whore is not being a Christian.  They argue banter back and forth saying a spade is a spade.

Kenya’s eviction is being brought up, her convertible white Bentley and her oil tycoon boyfriend who everyone thinks is made up.  Andy gives his condolences regarding Velvet.  Kenya starts crying, remembering Velvet.  Everyone knew Velvet was Kenya’s baby, Cynthia said.  Kenya didn’t invite Nene and the lawyer to the memorial because Kenya felt a lot of things they said were below the belt.  The lawyer I think was sorry that she didn’t use her funeral services.  The lawyer then makes a joke that Velvet was Kenya’s only friend and Kenya said she has no right to say that and she is being dirty about her dog.  The lawyer didn’t insult the dog.  She insulted Kenya.  Kenya points her scepter at the lawyer.  Andy wants to talk about Kenya’s African prince.  Nene didn’t reach out to Kenya about her dog but she did mention to Cynthia that maybe they should all contribute to get Kenya a dog.  The lawyer asks “Casper the friendly boyfriend?”  Viewers don’t think he exists the same.  They don’t think her acting career exists as well.  Kenya says she has dated some famous people but you would never see it because she has lived her life under the radar.  This makes me wonder why did she decide to star in a reality show if she likes having a private life.  This makes no sense.  Kenya is still together with her African prince.  He has never been to Atlanta so they meet in other cities.  Porsha doesn’t think he exists and states that Kenya recently paid a Nigerian singer $15,000 to pose as her boyfriend.  Kenya said it’s a story that originated in the media.  Kenya points her scepter at Porsha and Porsha grabs it and throws it away.  Then Kenya takes out a megaphone and sticks the batteries in.  She came somewhat prepared.  Kenya then uses the megaphone on Porsha.  Poor Cynthia! She is sitting right next to Kenya with megaphone in her ear.  Porsha doesn’t like that she is using the megaphone on her and she doesn’t even know that it is called a megaphone. She keeps calling it a prop.  Porsha says she knew someone who knew another fake Walter that Kenya approached to be on the show.  Andy the shit-stirrer says he feels bad the scepter is lying there.  Let it lie there Andy!  Porsha calls Kenya a septic tank bitch.  Nene says she has not met the African prince and she thinks Kenya put out the story that she has.  Kenya says she has met him and was very rude.  Nene said was in Beverly Hills and met a guy with a Nigerian accent outside her hotel who she couldn’t understand.  She blew him off and Kenya called to say that it was her boyfriend.  Her pretend boyfriend complained that Nene was nasty and rude to him.  That’s the story.

Andy brought up that Walter was a fake boyfriend and Kenya said Kandi knew they were dating.  Kenya refers to karma taking over when people laugh at other people’s misfortunes.  Andy thinks karma taking over was referring to the lawyer and the lawyer calls Walter her rental boyfriend.  I guess karma came knocking when Apollo got indicted on fraud charges.  Porsha calls Kenya a villain since day one and Kenya has laughed at other’s misfortunes and then claims the victim.  Kenya thinks Porsha should use a dictionary to look up the meaning of words.  Kenya uses her megaphone again and they keep screaming at each other.  Kenya then brings up that Porsha cheated on Kordell.

The fight starts when Kenya uses the megaphone to call Porsha a dumb ho and tells her to shut up.  That’s when Porsha jumps up to get in Kenya’s face.  Andy tries to get in between when Porsha’s hand reaches out to grab Kenya’s extensions and they fall on the floor while a production assistant tries to pull Porsha off.  Poor Cynthia had her boob exposed in the melee and she needed to get her chest pixelated.  I’m wondering how many times Cynthia’s had her boob exposed on the show.  Kenya is lying on the ground.  Andy didn’t have a chance to stop it.  Porsha is lying on the floor and screaming that she embarrassed herself while Nene and the lawyer are trying to comfort her.  Kenya told her she is gone and walked off with Lawrence in tow.  Porsha got carried off while saying “I can’t believe that ratchet ho made me go there.”  Apparently Nene and the ladies had spoken about the fighting before hand.  The ladies are clearly on Porsha’s side.  They all seemed to dislike Kenya and think her scepter was ridiculous.

Andy goes to speak to Kenya and apologizes.  He wishes it didn’t happen.  Then he visits Porsha in her dressing room to ask her what happened.  Porsha felt like so many things happened at once.  She feels she has taken so many things from Kenya for two years and the “blowhorn” was the last straw.  She blacked out and didn’t realize what she did until she was on the floor.  Porsha feels embarrassed and disappointed but she felt pushed against the wall.  Andy told her she needed to go home, get some rest and at some point apologize to Kenya.

The reunion continues next week without Porsha.

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The Empress Speaks on Madmen

http://realhousewifeofaiken.com/2014/04/20/mad-men-time-zones/

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Sorry folks.. No race recap today

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Posted in Real Housewives of Atlanta | 190 Comments

Orange County Cast Blogs

RHOOC logo (2)Orange County S9E1 Cast Blogs

By HydrangeaHussy

The original Housewives are back for Season 9!  The blogs were pretty short & simple this week. I guess when there’s no drama, there isn’t too much to try to explain away.

Heather DuBrow

“ALOHA! We are back!” Heather begins by reminding us that it’s easier for her to rekindle her acting career now that Collette is in school. I know that it’s tough to make it in Hollywood & Heather is probably doing better than a lot of people, but I don’t get the impression that she’s in high demand as an actress.

Traveling with Tamra and Vicki is always an adventure. Two things to count on for sure — Tamra will make me do something adventurous and completely out of my comfort zone, and Vicki will make me LAUGH.” At least she admits that surfing was out of her comfort zone, “I have never been on a surfboard before and anyone that knows me knows I’m scared of the ocean.” The queen can even laugh at herself! “These waves in Waikiki felt like 20-foot waves to me, so it’s funny to watch and see how tiny they were!” I must admit that I was a little surprised that she didn’t take offense to any of Vicki’s comments.

Then Heather moves on to her new ‘home.’ “As for Terry’s closet. . .The man wears scrubs every day — how much room could he possibly need?!?! In all seriousness, Terry had a few special requests for this house and of course we incorporated them into the design.” I sure hope that she did! I’ve always been disappointed in the way that Heather talks to Terry. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, but he seems like a good guy.

On to the new girl, Shannon. Heather tells us that she & Shannon immediately hit it off. “She was quirky, funny, very open and shared a lot of personal details with me that day about her marriage and family.” Quirky is a nice way of saying that Shannon appears a little nutty, but I’ll reserve judgment for a few more episodes.

Heather didn’t go to NYC for press because her kids were on spring break. It’s nice that she passed up work for a family vacation. As for the season, “alliances are made, friendships are tested, things are not always how they seem.” I wouldn’t expect anything less from the original Housewives!

Shannon Beador

Shannon is excited to be writing her first blog! We’ll see how she feels as the season progresses. She jumps right in to her somewhat alternative lifestyle. “I readily admit that I choose to live a lifestyle that is quite different from most people in Orange County and am looking forward to giving you a glimpse into my life!” I hope that her kids don’t suffer for the ‘different’ lifestyle that she’s putting on TV for the world to judge. “It is surreal to watch real things that have happened played back to you on a TV screen and after watching the first episode of the season, there are things that I am both happy and not so happy with.” Is that a little introspection & self-reflection? The rest of these ladies could take a hint & think about how their behavior appears to the rest of us.

Shannon defends her ‘traditional’ style, saying “I am proud of my “grandma” style because it does remind me of my grandmother, who was a woman of impeccable taste.” I’m not sure Heather meant that as a compliment, but good for Shannon to not over-react. She also defends her green house. “New home construction today is filled with many highly toxic materials. As we started to build our new home, I wanted to limit toxic chemicals my children would be ingesting. I cannot control the environment in general, but I can control the environment of my home, and I choose to make that the healthiest one possible.” I’m no parenting expert, but I’m pretty sure you could prevent your kids from ingesting the toxic building materials. Your kids are getting exposed to things everywhere.   I get the impression that Shannon needs to lighten up before she drives her husband & children crazy.

Clarifying the DNA test, she explains that there was some confusion at the hospital regarding the twins. “The day we took them home from the hospital, Stella’s wrist ID said Twin A and her ankle bracelet said Twin B. Adeline’s wrist ID said Twin B and she had no ankle bracelet. Right before we walked out of the hospital, the nurse said, ‘If one of their APGAR results [a health assessment test for newborns] comes in negative, we’ll have to do it again because we don’t know which twin is which!’” I can understand her concern, given that hospitals aren’t infallible and that mix-ups in the nursery do happen.

Shannon goes on to say that she hopes to instill “work ethic & the value of a dollar” in her children. “They do the dishes every night, sort their laundry, and clean their rooms. If they help me with certain projects, I will pay them a small amount per hour.” I hate when people say things like that when they’re living in a 20,000 sq. ft. house. I’m sure that you can raise them to have a good work ethic, but they’re still getting far more than the average kid. I guess we’ll get a chance to see how down-to-earth she really keeps her kids.

“David works incredibly hard and as such, we do not spend that much ‘alone’ time together. We have never gone away together without the girls, and I have been complaining about it quite a bit in the last couple of years. As I watch myself, however, I am mortified to see how much I nag and criticize him. What motivation would he have to go away with me if I am whining and complaining?” What?!? More self-reflection in the first blog? I felt so bad for her husband! At least she seems to realize that he wouldn’t want to be around her if she criticizes so much.

Tamra Barney

“So many things have changed. I’m married, Vicki is divorced, Heather has moved. But most shocking, we lost three ladies and gained two new O.C. beauties.” There sure are lots of changes! Personally, I was glad to see Gretchen go. Alexis & Lydia didn’t bring much to the table, but I liked them.

“Tonight’s show was refreshing, silly and a lot of fun.” I agree that it was nice to start the season without any drama. I’ve always enjoyed the lavish lifestyles and mansions of the OC ladies. All of the fighting, back-stabbing, & bickering wear on me after a while.

Tamra then goes on and on about CUT Fitness. “It has been one of the most challenging and rewarding things I have ever done in my life. Eddie has left the family law firm to run our ‘family’ business. Ryan is working for us, and Sophia loves hanging out in the kids club (she thinks she’s in charge).” I’m not recapping her descriptions of all of the programs the studio offers. She adds a link to the website, which Stars99 already noted is under construction. Funny she mentions Sophia when it’s everywhere in the news that Sidney & Tamra’s relationship is strained, to say the least. Is she trying to play up her image as a good mother?

Tamra explains her comments about Gretchen saying, “the last time I saw her was at my wedding. She showed up, ate, drank, danced, smiled and acted like she was happy to be there. Then I hear she and Slade were giving interviews saying that the only reason I got married was to get a spin-off show. Very hurtful!” Did she really expect more from Gretchen? Who cares? That was last season, let’s move-on.

As to the new girl, “Shannon seemed to fit in immediately. I don’t want to give too much away, but friendships are put to the test. I did not get the pleasure to meet Dr. Moon in person but heard a lot about him. I’m fully confused what he does after seeing this week’s episode, but trying to keep an open mind. I love that Shannon lives a holistic life….or does she?” I suspect that Shannon isn’t nearly as ‘green’ as she claims to be. With their lifestyle, it would be very difficult.

Tamra loves seeing the babies grow up & hints that she wants a baby. Foreshadowing? She says that we won’t see her kids this season, which I assume is due to the ongoing custody fight with Simon. “It’s hard sharing custody, I miss them so much when they are with their father. But I realize it’s part of divorce, and it’s best to have both parents in your children’s life, so we share 50/50 custody.” Again with the role of the good co-parent!

Vicki Gunvalson

The OG of the OC begins by welcoming us back for Season 9. “For those of you that have watched me from the beginning, can you believe it’s been nine years since we innocently started taping this show from just a little “idea” of what it would be like to film a documentary while living behind the gates of Coto de Caza?” I can’t believe that we’re on season 9!

Vicki keeps it short & sweet this week. Like Tamra, Vicki notes that this episode was light-hearted. “It was truly refreshing to see some laughter and fun, instead of all the screaming and chaos that we have known to bring to the TV. I, for one, really enjoyed this episode, as it brought some laughter as Heather, Tamra and I experienced our first girls trip to Hawaii together.” We all know how serious Vicki is about a girls’ trip!

“When Tamra came up with the idea of surfing, I was like, ‘Sure…I can do this.’ Holy crap, I had no idea it was that difficult to do. I could not get my balance on that darn board.” It was hilarious watching the women learn to surf. It makes me want to give it a try sometime! “At least I didn’t give up, and finally after what it seemed like 200 tries – I made it. Bucket list checked off for surfing. Done!”

 “Driving the jeep around the island was a lot of fun. Stopping at the shrimp truck, eating corn on the cob, and having fun with Heather about the name of the tree made me laugh.” It was nice to see the ladies picking on each other without getting into a screaming match. Sometimes things are said in jest and not everything is meant as an insult.

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Posted in RHOC Cast Blogs | 329 Comments

Flipping Out – Southern Charm

FO logo

Flipping Out S7E7 “I Want You Back” by BB

Jeff needs Jenni.  Megan cannot do the job Jenni does.  She wasn’t hired as Jeff’s assistant, but as a design associate.  Megan is creative, but doesn’t remember things.  She misses texts, doesn’t get Jeff to meetings on time, shows up late to a furniture installation hung over, and texts her nanny constantly.  Jeff thinks she’s fun in the office, but she’s nowhere near as efficient as Jenni.

Jeff has mentioned to Megan that she may be back to being a full time mom before she knows it and that upcoming layoffs are going to be particularly sad for her.  Jeff is not kidding although he thinks Megan probably thinks he is.  Jenni shows up for Megan’s office birthday celebration and can see that things from an HR standpoint have gotten totally out of hand when she witnesses the inappropriate behavior and listens to the inappropriate joking around among the staff.

FO S7E7_2Later, Jeff and Jenni discuss the possibility of her returning to work earlier than planned.  He admits to her that Megan is nowhere near as good an assistant as Jenni.  Jenni tells Jeff she’ll think about it, but he definitely needs to do something about the out of control behavior that’s gotten even worse since she’s been gone.  He can’t keep ignoring it.

Jenni reports to work with a whole new attitude about HR violations.  The Buzz Kill mom is there to get things back on track.  The office has really gone off kilter without her.  She is also getting Jeff back on track.  She knows Jeff, what he wants, what he likes, what he expects, and she’s always five steps ahead of him.  Megan is certainly relieved Jenni’s back.

This episode shows Jeff working on La Marida, Chaz Dean’s executive offices.  The budget is $750,000, but Jeff knows what Chaz wants and expects, despite what Nuria, Chaz’s business manager says.  There is considerable water and termite damage uncovered during demo.  Jeff comes up with a new budget of $1.2 million, which is unacceptable to Nuria.  Jeff knows Chaz is not going to be happy with anything less than what he has envisioned.  Chaz hopes Jeff can work miracles to satisfy both him and Nuria.  Jeff doesn’t see that happening and doesn’t know how he’s going to accomplish what Chaz wants on Nuria’s budget.

FO S7E7_3Jeff also finishes the light redesign for his good friend Kelly’s boyfriend Jim’s house.  Kelly moved in and now she wants it to be “theirs” instead of “his.”  Jeff wants to make sure he keeps the budget low on this job because he feels he owes Kelly from when he was younger and her family helped him out.  Jeff and Kelly go shopping for furniture and he manages to get practically the entire house furnished for under $20,000 with nice stuff.  When Jim sees the house, he tells Jeff he’s a genius.   Kelly is in love with the house and Jim says it looks so good that maybe they should put in on the market.

I enjoyed this episode.  At least Jeff’s clients seemed to be able to have a discussion without resorting to obscenities and screaming like banshees.

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SC logo

Southern Charm S1E7

“The Third Man” By HydrangeaHussy

To recap – Kathryn, always classy, had a fling with Shep, is in a relationship with TRav, & alleges a kiss with Whitney. As we all know by now, Kathryn & Thomas had a baby girl last month! My first thought was – I sure hope they have a boy next so they can get the $10,000. Snark aside, she’s a beautiful baby. Now, on to the episode…

Kathryn has stormed out of TRav’s home after dinner. He sits down with JD & Shep. Shep thinks that it was in poor taste for Craig to make a scene at dinner. If I recall correctly, Kathryn started the whole thing. TRav notes that a true Southern would never discuss who they slept with. No, they’ll just put it all on TV. Danni notes that Kathryn was upset because TRav didn’t support her at the dinner. I think Kathryn was upset because TRav went on & on about his lost love. Kathryn returns because her car is dead & TRav apologizes. In his TH, Shep says that Kathryn should stop pouting because she did sleep with 3 people at the table. He notes that he slept with 2 people at the table. TRav thinks there is a double standard that Kathryn is judged but Shep isn’t. I agree that there is a double standard. It may not be right & I may not agree with it, but it’s definitely prevalent.

boysCraig & Shep meet up. Craig doesn’t feel bad for calling Kathryn out. Shep, for once the mature one, says that it was wrong because there were only 5 guys at the table & it was easy to figure out who the “third man” was. Craig reports that someone saw Kathryn & Whitney leave a bar together, so they obviously slept together. Really? You want to be a lawyer & that’s your evidence? Shep thinks that Kathryn really likes TRav, while Craig thinks that she’s using him. They both think that it’s bizarre that TRav waxed on about his last love in front of Kathryn. I think it was rude & terribly tacky.

Kathryn & TRav go for a drink/walk to discuss the party. Nothing makes a walk better than a cocktail! Kathryn felt attacked by Craig. TRav apologizes for not coming to her rescue. What a change from the Housewives! Their men always get involved, while TRav just stood back & let Kathryn stick up for herself. I would expect my man to stick up for me if his friends were trash-talking me. Kathryn maintains that she never hooked up with Whitney & that Craig is lying because he was rejected. TRav believes Kathryn.

HouseCameran is showing a house to Whitney. The house is for rent, with an option to buy. It’s an open plan loft that comes fully furnished. Whitney isn’t impressed by the Restoration Hardware furniture. I wish I could afford Restoration Hardware. He does love the balcony & poles! He agrees to get the house, but will have to replace the furniture. Cameran suggests a rooftop 4th of July party to celebrate the new place. Whitney is over Charleston parties after TRav’s dinner. Cameran brings up the “third man” comment, but Whitney glosses over it by saying that he wasn’t paying attention.

dinnerTRav is going to meet Kathryn’s family. There is no need to get there early for drinks because her family doesn’t drink. She explains that her grand-father, a senator, was assassinated because of alcohol. Kathryn’s family lives on a secluded plantation. TRav notes that Kathryn’s father isn’t much older than him. The house was built before the Civil War. I was waiting for him to call it “the war of northern aggression.” Kathryn’s father pulls TRav aside before the couple leaves. He wants to know what TRav’s intentions are. That’s something my father would do.

The guys are heading to Shep’s land in Boykin, SC for hog hunting. (Side note: Hogs are not pigs. These are several hundred pound hogs. Farmers around here have trouble with hogs tearing up the land.   I’ve never been hog hunting because they scare me, but Mr. Hussy has been & these things are crazy! They’re also very aggressive.) Whitney brings his AR, which you need to take one of these hogs down. There’s some tension in the car on the way out because TRav, Shep & Whitney haven’t been together since the dinner. JD & Craig are going to join them after work. I loved seeing Shep’s farm. It was nice to see the guys being a little laid back. IMO, this is a true representation of the south – it reminds me of fishing/hunting camps that we go to. Actually, just a few weeks ago we were at a friend’s camp for a wild game dinner. I even learned to use a duck call!

huntAlan is the hunt master. I’m glad to see that they have a responsible party who knows what he’s doing. Shep is really respectful & urges the guys to follow Alan’s lead. The dogs set out to track the hogs, with the guys following. The dogs alert to a hog and the guys head into the woods. They don’t kill a hog, so they give up and go back to the cabin.

The ladies are driving out while the guys are hunting. We learn that Kathryn has already moved into Thomas’. Cameran thinks that she’s living in a fantasy land. They discuss Jenna’s SD (sugar-daddy), who Cameran thinks is the greatest guy. Jenna plans to marry him. Kathryn says that she thinks she will marry TRav. The discussion moves to their sex life – Kathryn & TRav aren’t using protection. Kathryn is ready to have a baby & get married. IMO, she’s a little young.   Danni describes her relationship with Shep as a strong intellectual & sexual chemistry.

ladiesOnce the ladies arrive, there’s immediate tension. The guys have said their piece regarding Kathryn, so they’re going to let it go. The group heads to the house, where Robert has been cooking BBQ. Craig notes that Whitney has been on edge throughout the whole dinner. TRav & Kathryn go off to talk. She says that she gets bit by mosquitos because she’s so sweet. LOL, that’s what I say! Anyway, those two are way too intense for such a short relationship. The girls & Craig stay at the table. They tell Craig everything that Kathryn said in the car. They think that Kathryn is enamored. He still thinks that Kathryn is using TRav.

whitneyTRav goes to the car & runs into Whitney. Whitney is surprised by how serious TRav seems about Kathryn, so he feels the need to come clean. He admits that Craig was correct & that he hooked up with Kathryn. Only one more episode to go! I have to admit, I’m liking this show more than I expected to.

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Posted in Flipping Out, Southern Charm | 113 Comments

Survivor Cagayan – S28E8

survivorlogosurcast22Welcome back castaways… 9 down, 8 to go. Last week, Morgan was sent to the jury. Point of interest or not, she was shown arriving at the ‘ponderosa’ (where they sequester the jury) to join Sarah, where the two of them had their girl time bashing the bitter old woman, Kass. Remember what I said a couple weeks ago awaits these two later in their lives.. Tony also received a lot of votes to go home.. Back at camp, he’s a bit bitter about that. Doing a lot of crying that his game isn’t as secure as he once thought it was. Maybe it’s just my memory but I don’t think he’s received any votes in the past. Oh yes, Spencer… I thought he had found the special power idol but apparently not. Just one of the other (2) idols that has been played and put back in the game.In case you forgot, both LJ and Tony played those idols in the same night to protect each other and none of them received any votes that night. Spencer had won individual immunity at the challenge but didn’t need it. Tony has it in his head that Woo has an idol he’s sitting on.. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know. Anyway, the next day Tony the big he man cop, I mean Construction worker, is still crying about his name being written down. Says it happens every council… Do I need to post the voting histories? First, your actual tribe, Brawn, never even Saw a council. Your tribe came with you during the remix and you still weren’t at council but once, I think and that one saw Cliff leave with LJ getting the rest of the votes AND AND, you voted against your ‘blueblood badge alliance’ to get rid of Sarah. While we’re at that one, let’s not forget everybody’s lapdog, Spencer (apologies to all dogs out there), who barked at Kass that she had 0 chance of winning after flipping. Do you know what that tells me? Spencer plans on being part of the jury. You, Tony, have been voted against once in this game so cut your fucking shit you bald whining baby. Give the guy a diaper because he said he crapped himself when he saw his name had been written down. I am going to bust this guy’s balls the rest of the time he’s on the show but I’ll give him one thing, he’s playing to win. I don’t know what the hell some of these other morons are doing. It always appears to me that these asshats on these games, play to push someone else forward. 

Okay, now that I’m done with that.. The following morning, Tony and LJ are walking along, I assume collecting water or something. Tony has decided that the two of them are the alpha males here and one of them has got to go. In order for Tony’s plan to work, he has to be able to pin it on someone else. He chose Woo.. What plan? To blind side LJ.. He’s spooked and has his panties in a wad about seeing his name written down so many times during the tribal vote. As Trish and LJ put it  a bit later, Tony is scrambling so much, he may come unglued. Woo is off in his own little world thinking he’s tight with Tony, as does LJ. Foolish children. All through this episode we keep hearing about this core 6, and those other people.

s3Okay… Tree mail gives them the hint that they will be playing for some relaxation and special treatment. The cast summizes it’s spa day at Survivor. That’s exacltly what it is, for 3 of them. The group is split in to 3 teams of 3.

Teams are, Green – Jeremiah, Spencer, and Tony. Purple – Kass, Tasha, and Woo. Yellow – LJ, Trish, and Jefra.  The object here is to throw a sandbag tied to a rope into a basketball type hoop, using it to release a pile of 20 more sandbags. Then s1one person has to throw the sandbags through a box shaped net tunnel. Once all 20 are into or actually all the way through the tunnel, they all work together to get the remaining bags the rest of the way through the net by bouncing them along. Once all 20 are out of the tunnel, one member then has to start one at a time, bouncing the sandbags off of a trampoline, into one of those 5 baskets at the bottom of the picture. First one to land all 5, wins the challenge. I am not going to get into a play by play here, Green team wins.

I’ll back up a little bit here. Before the challenge and while he was having his cry session about being voted for, TH Tony said that these reward challenges were an opportunity to form those special bonds with other player, whoever happens to be on the ‘winning team’.. His plan is to blindside LJ because he believes that’s one who can beat him. LJ by the way, trusts Tony and their ‘alliance’ one hundred percent. Foolish boy… Okay, the three of them head off to get showered, pampered, and filled (bellies). Tony plans on talking to Spencer and Jeremiah about voting out LJ.. Shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish with a pair of ass kissers like those two. Spencer’s lips locked to the butt of whoever he thinks is in front, Jeremiah’s to Jefra’s though that hasn’t really come into play yet. That isn’t exactly what is said but, that’s where I see this going. In actuality, Spencer says he’s team Jeremiah but he’s worried about his position in the game and will kiss whatever ass needed to make sure he stays. While the challenge winners are at their s4reward LJ, Jefra, and Trish are spilling together that Tony is shady.. Duh… Trish tells the two of them that Tony is buring the candle from the middle out and wants to get rid of LJ and is trying to use Woo to do it.. Trying to convince everyone that all the bad on their core 6 is. At least that is what has been kind of going on all episode with this guy. The other two asshats at this reward (yes, I know I’m jumping around a bit here) Let Tony think they are completely behind him in getting rid of LJ. Bottom line is no one can trust anyone here. Spencer says he doesn’t trust Tony.. Says he’s juggling a lot of balls and he’s just one of them. I still think he’s an ass kisser though. Also meanwhile, Tasha is sensing her spot in the game is not very solid. She approaches LJ about having a private strategy convo. He kind of agrees but when she is at the predetermined meeting place, LJ stands her up. He’s team Tony instead of team LJ.. Tasha says that if LJ was man enough to make a big move, together with her, Spencer, Jeremiah, and Jefra, and blindside Tony.. Let’s get to the immunity challenge…

s2Treemail says stuff about colors and stuff. What they are doing is memorizing sequences of colors that Probst calls out and repeating that in the form of stacking colored tiles one at a time. This will go as many rounds as needed until one person is left and that one will win immunity. It could be just me but I really wish Probst would STFU during these types of challenges. Just say when to make a move and get your mouth out of the way so they can do it. Trish is out with the second tile, Woo is out s5with the third.. Their memories failed them. No one else gets knocked out in round one. Next round they are 6 of 7 tiles in before Spencer, Kass, Jeremiah, and Jefra get knocked out.. On the 7th one all 3 remaining players choose a different color. Tony is out. LJ believes he has it right. Nice try LJ, it is Tasha who wins immunity.. Somehow I’ve never shaken the feeling that if she watches, the NY Countless is completely jonesing for this Survivor neckwear.. No worries says LJ, just split the vote between Spencer and Jeremiah..

Back at camp, Tasha is (in TH) saying she knew she had a one third chance of being voted out. Honestly I don’t think she was ever on anyone’s radar for that night but she’s happy she’s assured of sticking around for a few more days.. LJ hould have taken that meeting with Tasha but he’s now pushing this split vote idea.. Tony thinks Woo has an idol and no one knows that Spencer does but that’s the only reason to split a vote like that. Tony is still playing the throw Woo under the bus angle, trying to guarantee everyone that Woo has an idol. LJ says this 6 had a plan, that  Woo is a part of, and they all pinky swore on it and everything..

Tony starts working the camp to do it to LJ before LJ can do it to him. He approaches, Woo, tells him that LJ is shady and wanted to blindside him. See what’s happening here? The cop, sorry, carpenter, is throwing all of his own wretchedness on LJ trying to convince the others that LJ cannot be trusted. Woo trusts Tony one hundred percent.. I was once told that you will never find the devil in the places you think you might. Strip clubs, casinos, other places of sin. You will find the devil on the front row of church trying to burn someone else.. In this game, meet Tony, the Survivor Devil… He approaches Spencer next who is completely stoked that Tony is now targeting LJ and feeds him the same line of bull he’s feeding the others. Spencer and Jeremiah then have a little convo, bump chests and fists, LJ is now their target too. Trish is next. She’s either very smart, or very stupid. I vote for the latter. He asks her what happened while they were at the reward and she tells him that LJ is concerned about Tony wanting to vote out Woo.. Trish and Kass have a moment.. I don’t know when Kass became part of this 6, perhaps when she switched. Kass is all for keeping things they way they are and going with LJ and the split vote.. Trish isn’t sure what to do.. I think her brain may be waterlogged. Tony knows it could be dangerous for him to make a big move at this point but you either have to kiss ass or kick ass. He says that at council, he may have to kiss ass. Let’s get to it..

Tribal council

You all know the drill.. They go to tribal, the jury that consists of Sarah and Morgan, in, and the Probsting begins. He starts in with Jeremiah and how he, Spencer, and Tasha are all in trouble with the other 6. To Kass, she’s a big reason we find ourselves here with this current split and he asks if there’s any empathy from her about that.. She says you can’t play this game and not get dirty.. I’ll note that the two bitches on the jury bench are rolling their eyes at this point. I want to put my right hand on Morgan’s left ear and my left hand on Sarah’s right ear, and slam Morgan’s right ear into Sarah’s left ear. You both got outplayed, get over it.  Probst asks Tony if he agrees with the dirty hands notion. Yes he does. They come to the game knowing they’re likely to get stabbed in the back at some point and that’s why he has his bag of tricks with him that night, implying he may have an idol. Probst wants to know what’s in that bag of tricks, Tony says may find out tonight but it’s something that could make him feel more secure. To Tasha, it must be a little comforting to hear that Tony needs his bag of tricks when he’s part of this tight 6.. She’s seeing cracks forming. To LJ, what could it mean that Tasha is so confident on top of the fact that she has that immunity necklace.. LJ says she’s getting a reality check about seeing nonexistant cracks in his alliance. LJ believes he has a very good eye for spotting loyalty and believes in his 6.. To Tony, what line of work. He repeats the lie about being in construction (he could be in off time). Sarah nearly fell off the bench with that lie. He says trust is very important, someone may steel your tools if they can’t be trusted.. To Kass, does loyalty play a part in the game for her… She says yes but, she checked her life at the door.. In other words, she trusts no one to push her ahead in the game.. I’ll note the rolling eyeballs from the two beeshes on the jury bench once again. Okay, Everyone knows this Brady Bunch super 6 is going to break apart, the question is when.. Soon. Let’s vote. They vote, Probst puts them in order for the read, polls for the idol, not played, votes read.

Yep, LJ is the third member of the jury.. I guess he feels a bit stupid right now pounding his gums about how well he can read people and their loyalty.. Especially since he was talking about a Survivor Alliance.

surresult

See you next week – MTH

 

Posted in Survivor | 183 Comments

The Real Housewives of New York City – Unhappy Anniversary

RHONY S6 castBy Empressofaiken

Ramona’s back from Africa and she’s just full of stories about lions having quickies.   She and the group are at another charity event featuring jewelry designed by a friend of Heather’s.  Sonja is running late and Aviva isn’t there – also by design.   Heather begins to fill Ramona in on all of the Aviva/Carole drama and Ramona, who has found inner peace during her trip, wants Heather to meet with Aviva to see if the two can mend their very broken fences.  Heather isn’t so sure that anything good will come from a meeting and she really doesn’t want Aviva at her 10th anniversary party, and who could blame her?  She had originally invited Aviva, then uninvited her.   LuAnn is in attendance, wearing another set of coasters on her ears and is still keeping company with Jacques.  She’s shocked by  Ramona’s tale of the king of the jungle’s sexual activities and wants us to know that what happens in Africa should stay in Africa.  From what’s about to happen, maybe Ramona should have stayed in Africa.

Ramona, Sonja and Aviva are shopping at The Container Store and now it’s Aviva’s turn to argue her side of the story to Ramona.  Ramona, still channeling the Dalai Lama, tells Aviva that she should talk with Heather one on one.  Heather is holding a Yummie Tummie photo shoot with Kristen modeling leggings when Ramona calls. Ramona still thinks Heather should get together with Aviva and puts the conversation on speaker so that Aviva can pipe in when necessary.  The two own finally agree to speak, probably so Ramona will stop interfering.  They don’t know the depths of Ramona’s type of interference.

Ep 6: Unhappy Anniversary

Heather meets with Aviva and it goes pretty much as we expected it would.  Aviva starts rattling off everything anyone has ever called her and a few things she just made up for good measure.  She also repeats that Carole and Heather “verbally raped her” and adds “she took it up the butt.”   Where does she come up with this stuff?  It wasn’t that good the first time, so there really isn’t any reason to repeat it, other than for Aviva to continue her role as victim.   She also tells Heather she’s “deeply, deeply hurt”  and asks Heather if she has any idea why.  Aviva asks this over and over “Do you know why?”  “Well, do you?”  “Do you want to know?”, “Do you?” – until Heather finally tells her she’s being dramatic, to get a job and calls her Miss Vassar.  Aviva, in her talking head, points out the “stay at home mom” jab, hoping none of us remember that she has called Carole old, and insinuated that the writer is an outcast among the Kennedy clan.  I guess those comments don’t count and anyway – so what, Aviva?  Heather says that she doesn’t really like Aviva all that much and asks her if she gives a shit about her.  Aviva says she does.  Heather then says she was outraged about the comments Aviva made about Carole.  Aviva then asks Heather is she and Carole are lovers.  What is this woman talking about?  This sounded a lot like Kelly Bensimon asking Bethenny and Ramona if they were going to make out, tongues and all, on Scary Island.  She wants Heather to understand that Carole’s book is like having babies, or something, and says that Carole’s comments were akin to asking a new mother if she’d had natural childbirth or a Cesarean.  My right eye is starting to twitch.  Some sort of loose truce is brokered between them and Aviva asks Heather if she’ll help to mend things for her with Carole.  Heather tells Aviva she can come to the anniversary party.

A couple of scenes gave us a tiny break from all of the fighting, until more fighting started.  The first was with Carole, Kristen and Jonathan, Heather’s husband.  The three of them met to sample caviar because as Jonathan tells it, “Caviar is foreplay for Heather.”   They also share a little naughty talk about threesomes and pick out what they hope is the perfect caviar for Heather.  Ramona also had a few moments to lament the fact that her daughter is going off to college.  She tells Avery that she should have a job and Avery says that she wants to work for her father’s business because she’d rather spend more time with him. Ramona looked a little hurt to hear that.  The other scene was one we probably could have done without and caused my left eye to start twitching.   Brandi and Yolanda met with Kristen and Carole to have lunch and talk about sex.  Brandi tells a story about Kristen’s bachelorette party in Las Vegas and a kiss between Kristen and an Elvis impersonator.  Things that happen in Vegas don’t stay in Vegas if Brandi has anything to say about it.  Brandi wants to know about Carole and George Clooney, and Carole laughs it off, saying that they dated during the Eisenhower administration.  When Kristen says that she and her husband aren’t having a lot of sex these days, Carole, in her talking head, says that Kristen should practice blowing, because it’s all men really want, anyway.  With a shrug and an eye-roll,  she says “They don’t call it a job for nothin”.   If Bravo wants to do anymore franchise crossovers, then I hope they send Brandi to Atlanta, specifically to Kenya’s house.

Ramona and Sonja drop by Aviva’s apartment so they can get their stories straight about their true feelings regarding Heather talk about the strides Aviva has made with Heather.   Aviva announces that she got a text from Heather, uninviting her from the anniversary party, signing off with her signature “Holla!”   Ramona and Sonja are shocked, shocked, shocked by how mean Heather is being to Aviva, so they decide, then and there, to boycott the party as a sign of solidarity with Aviva.  If they can get over being called white trash or compared to Anna Nicole Smith, then Heather has a lot of nerve not being as forgiving as they are.

It’s the night of Heather’s party and most of the guests have arrived, including LuAnn and Jacques.  LuAnn is  licking her paws and smoothing her fur, just waiting for the opportunity beside herself with the burden of having to deliver the news of the boycott.   Kristen and Josh are walking toward the gathering and arguing over how late they, well how late he is.  She says that they don’t communicate and he responds that if not communicating is their biggest problem then they’re fine.   He doesn’t seem to be able to grasp that communicating is the most important thing in a marriage, but he seems to live in his own world, by his own rules.   Once everyone is in place and the party has been going on for an hour and a half, LuAnn makes the big boycott announcement.  Ramona and Sonja didn’t bother to tell Heather they weren’t coming, they just didn’t show up.   Heather is understandably upset, then tells the group that the people she wants there, are there.  She also tells them that Ramona is a shit-stirrer, the “Singer Stinger.”   Yes, Heather was right when she said that if she had done that to Ramona, there’d be hell to pay.  The battle lines are drawn – alliances have been formed.  Another group of Housewives are at war.

Heather’s husband gave her a tote bag filled with cans of caviar, which she loved.  She toasted him, proclaimed her love for him and danced the night away.  Amanda was nowhere to be seen – that’s good news, right?

This is a poem Carole wrote for Heather, at Jonathan’s request,  and was read at the 10th anniversary party.  We never heard it because that scene ended up on the cutting room floor.

Ten Years
You’re Super-wife to Jon,
and Yummie Mummie to Ella and Jax,
A friend to wayward Mermaid Queens,
An upstate girl, with big city dreams.

You can roll tough with Puffy, and still giggle with the girls.
Ride motorbikes in denim, or rock a black dress and pearls.
You always do what is right, and not just what’s popular.
You tell people your mind, without judgment or gossip-er.
You’re serious in business, yet playful in life.
Met Jon on a beach, now you’re husband and wife.

Like the Eagle and the Hummingbird,
the Lion and Lamb,
the Athlete and the Spectator,
Or Peanut butter, and jam
I draw from your strengths.
For our differences I give thanks
But also, for your cheshire cat smile
and those three-paneled tanks.

Cheers to your wonderful husband,
and your beautiful marriage,
and to our vodka-fueled cherry bombs.
and a friendship I chair-ish.

Empress

__________________________________________________

Thank you Eperess

 

 

Posted in Real Housewives of New York | 177 Comments

Real Housewives of Orange County – Real Housewives of New York – Dancing With The Stars

 

Real Housewives Of Orange County

S9E1 “Hawaii 5 Uh-Oh”

by Stars99

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

Shannon Beador, Heather Dubrow , Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge & Lizzie Rovsek

New Season… New Taglines:

Tamra: “I’m not getting older… I’m just getting bolder.”  [Actually Tamra, you ARE getting older… We all are…]

Vicki: “I make my own rules… But don’t expect me to follow yours.”[We’ll see in this episode how you don’t even follow the law…]

Lizzie: “Standing out… Is much more fun than fitting in.”  [We don’t see Lizzie in this episode at all – So we’ll not talk about her until we do see her.  The previews seem to indicate she seems to LOVE to stand out in a crowd which is sure to rub Vicki and Tamra the wrong way…lol]

Shannon: “The OC is full of secrets… But I have nothing to hide.”  [Ummm… Perhaps you should use some discretion on disclosing your ummm… unique perspectives on national TV because I’m afraid your kids are gonna really, really get teased…]

Heather: “You may think I have it all…But I’m just getting started.”  [When did any of us think that Heather “had it all?”  I never did… I just thought she had a nice house…]

The opening scene is of Heather on her way to meet her architect and her builder of their new home. [Remember they sold their former house at the end of last season because they got an offer they couldn’t refuse…]  They have a new piece of property and it’s only going to take 2 short years to build their new dream house – So they are forced, FORCED I tell you… To slum it up by living on a [gasp] Orange County cul-de-sac. Oh, the horror of it all!

They are currently living in a perfect long-term rental house that admittedly could fit in their previous house’s garage – but everyone seems happy about their new surroundings.  Well, except for Terry. Terry does not like coming home to all the kids playing outside on said ghetto cul-de-sac… The small house has made for way too much togetherness time for him. It seems that Terry would much prefer to come home to a house where you “Skype” when you want up-close, personal, quality time with your family.

Heather looks at the plans for their new home and notes that Max wants a Scooby-Doo door in his room which Heather explains is a kind of like a hidden door… As a Scooby-Doo fan, I must say that Max gets big marks for this… Although there are arguably better literary references to a secret door… or a secret wardrobe… or a secret garden… but I stand by my friend Max and his Scooby-Doo reference. I may even have to somehow work in the words “pesky” and “Rut Roh” into this recap in honor of the reference. The builder and architect show Heather a mock-up of their new Taj Mahal…errr… home… This “home” [and I do use the word loosely] comes complete with an infinity pool and beauty salon…[Insert gratuitous eye roll here]… Perhaps I can vacation in their garage.

Tamra’s opening scene is at, yes, you guessed it – CUT Fitness (www.cutfitoc.com). I posted this link because last season I gave them a lot of grief about their website. I was very excited to look to see if they’ve improved it. Upon clicking it, we are treated to a banner that says, “Thank you for visiting. Please note, our website is currently under construction. Please visit us next week to see what we have created for you.” Really? Are you freaking kidding me?  You’ve known this season’s premiere date for months and you couldn’t have ensured that your website would be fully operational by now?  Whoa… That’s just all kinds of messed up.

We learn they’ve been open for 9 months and they’re already breaking even – Which is very good for a new business.  This fitness studio has become Tamra’s life 7 days a week.  It’s very stressful.  She starts her day at 4:45 AM.  She didn’t realize it was going to be so much work and that it would be so danged expensive. However, Eddie has never been happier.  And then because Tamra has absolutely no idea how to appropriately market their new business venture, she tells us that when Eddie teaches classes that he gets a “creepy” Barry White like kind of voice. Yes, because we all want to rush out to train with the guy with a creepy voice.

To be fair, Tamra also says that all the girls at the studio love him. This sets off Tamra’s insecurities because Eddie is 5 years younger than she is and ever since Tamra turned 40 it’s been harder and harder for her to keep in shape.  Tamra says, “Getting older sucks balls… sucks sweaty balls.”  Somehow this reminds me of a certain SNL “Schweddy Ball” skit… but I digress…

Let’s check in with Vicki, shall we?  Evidently Briana moved out of the house 6 months ago so Vicki’s big pristine house has become very lonely. However, Vicki has an employee named “David” who spends a couple of nights a week there and will housesit whenever she needs it.  She likes him around because he’s neat, clean and there’s no drama. Vicki tells us that Brooks has been very remorseful and wants her to forgive him… Vicki’s not sure what she’s doing and refers to herself as being “under construction.” Quick, grab a hard hat cuz crap is bound to fall!

The next scene has Tamra jogging up a hill with Heather. The main point of this whole scene seems to be to bash the recently-fired Gretchen. It seems like neither has seen nor spoken to Gretchen since last season. Tamra makes sure to tell us that she didn’t receive a wedding gift from Gretchen. How very kind of her. I don’t know that I would give Tamra a wedding gift either after the way Gretchen was treated. Then Tamra, because she’s just such a class act, raises a hammer and pounds the last nail on the Gretchen friendship coffin by saying Gretchen is, “A narcissistic, compulsive liar that is basically dead to me.”  Way to kick your former friend when she’s down, Tamra!

Hawaii-1Heather tells Tamra that she got a role on the television show “Hawaii 5-0.”  Heather is going to play a girlfriend of a killer. I actually saw this episode when it aired – and I think maybe she had 1 or 2 lines but that’s about it. Heather gushes about how her role last year on “Hot in Cleveland” opened a lot of doors for her.  I looked at her IMDB bio, and right now Heather is more like, “Tepid in Toledo” because there are no additional roles in the offing – at least right now. Heather invites Tamra to travel to Hawaii with her and Tamra suggests bringing Vicki along as well. Tamra confides that Vicki’s divorce was finalized last week. Heather is excited about all of them going on this mini-trip. Heather tells us in her talking head that when she’s one-on-one with Tamra or one-on-one with Vicki that they have a great relationship. But when the 3 of them are together that Heather often feels like the odd man out.  It’s mildly amusing that neither of the 2 new girls on the block were invited along… Very interesting…

Vicki visits Briana at Briana’s apartment.  Troy is getting so big now – and we find out that Briana is pregnant with their 2nd baby!  Vicki describes her relationship with Briana as being “rock solid” as long as they don’t talk about Brooks. Vicki thinks Brooks was wrongfully accused by Briana and she feels that a lot of the things that Briana said were not the truth. Vicki finally listened to “the tape” [You know, the one when Brooks was allegedly really drunk and told Ryan to do stuff to Briana to get her in line, or something like that…].  Vicki was disgusted by the tape but quickly excuses it by basically saying that we all say things we wish we didn’t say… Ryan and Briana have orders to move to Oklahoma and Briana is looking forward to a fresh start. Briana feels that her family life with her mom is such a mess that this move might actually be good for everyone involved. Ryan has 9 more years in the military… Vicki is so not happy about this move. Who could blame her? Briana is moving her grandbaby(ies) away.

In this week’s “I Kid You Not” segment, Vicki says that, “Oklahoma is an invisible state… Nobody ever talks about Oklahoma. I think it’s a forgotten state.” Rut roh… I can feel the entire state of Oklahoma begin to rumble in protest…lol.  Vicki says she’s never been to Oklahoma nor does she know anyone from there. Heck, Vicki doesn’t even know what kind of food they eat in that far off mystical place called, “Oklahoma.”

Oh come the heck on, Vicki… Oklahoma has an entire Rodgers and Hammerstein musical named after it… From the musical “Oklahoma” we learned they can grow corn as high as an elephant’s eye… They have surreys with fringe on the top… There’s always a bright golden haze on the meadow… Guys shouldn’t sigh and gaze too much cuz people will say we’re in love… And that there are girls that live there that just can’t say, “No” who are in a turrible fix! And then, because her mind couldn’t just stay on 1 musical, Stars99 starts to inexplicably sing, “I’ve never been to heaven, but I’ve been to Oklahoma…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm6qw_yeo6o. See, now I named 2 song references about Oklahoma without even breathing hard… Surely Vicki knows SOMETHING about Oklahoma, no?

In an effort to acquaint Vicki with some people who were either born in Oklahoma or spent a lot of their lives there, I offer the following partial list:  Blake Shelton, Reba McEntire, Walter Cronkite, Carrie Underwood, Brad Pitt, Ron Howard, Gary Busey, Kristin Chenoweth, Joan Crawford, Blake Edwards, James Garner, Rue McClanahan, Megan Mullally, Lee Pace (born 1979), actor, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Yes, that was for you, dragon girl because I know the importance of dragons…lol), Tony Randall, Wanda Jackson, Garth Brooks, David Gates, Vince Gill, Woody Guthrie, Toby Keith, B. J. Thomas, Kathy Lee Gifford, Mary Hart, and Phil McGraw to name a few.

Robert (Builder of Heather’s new house) has been taking Heather to see various homes that he’s previously built so she can check out some unique styles and finishes that she might want him to build into her new house. Robert introduces Heather to new Real Housewife Shannon. May I just say that Shannon has an awesome house!

Shannon -2They take a tour of Shannon’s home.  Shannon and Heather have a bonding moment over a bathroom that’s made from “Calcutta Borghini material” that’s very, very rare. Shannon points out an unwanted rust colored line that runs through the marbling. Evidently, Shannon pitched a fit about it and was starting to tell the story about how the workers went back into the mountain in Italy to get a different part of it… but not to be outdone by a mere peasant, Her Royal Heathership interrupted Shannon with her own story. With a wave of her scepter, Her Royal Heathership dismissed the uniqueness of Shannon’s bathroom by stating that it’s very similar to what she already has in their own house and that Terry looks at the marbling as just being a gigantic Rorschach test.

Somehow during all of this bathroom talk they start talking about their kids.  Remember Heather has Nicholas and Maximillia (10 year-old twins), Katarina (7), and Collette (3). Shannon has 3 daughters: Sophie (12), and Stella and Adeline (9 year old twins).  Heather and Shannon figure out their kids were in school together and that Heather was the “Room Mom” the year before Shannon was the “Room Mom.”

Shannon tells Heather that she had a baby nurse when the twins were born who noticed the twins didn’t really want to be together. The baby nurse had never seen anything like that before and so Shannon freaked out and had a DNA test run on her children to make sure they were hers.  Shannon acknowledges she is kind of wacky.

The tour of Shannon’s house continues with the group going into a kid’s room. When you press a very normal-looking bookcase at a specific place – You push through and it opens up into a whole different wonderful room!  How awesome is that? What a great way to keep out pesky little intruders! What a great house! Oh, did I mention that Shannon also has a basketball court in their subterranean garage?  But really, doesn’t everyone? Lol… Shannon admits that her traditional style of decorating is a little grandma-ish but insists that they are a really down to earth family… With an indoor basketball court in their house. Yep, yep, yep…

Green requirementsShannon tells Heather that when they were building that she was obsessed with making the entire house “green.” No, they didn’t paint it green, because ya know, it ain’t easy being green, but instead they hired a “green consultant.” Among other things, Shannon made sure there were no toxic paint finishes… no fiberglass in the insulation… and nothing wireless in their house because it produces electromagnetic radiation. In her talking head, Her Royal Heathership wonders if Shannon’s blonde hair color is, “Organic.”

Since Heather’s already in Honolulu filming “Hawaii 5-0,” Vicki and Tamra fly together to meet Heather after her gig… As they get onto the plane the flight attendants give them each leis… and Vicki in a deep, sexy voice says, “I love getting lei’d before 10:00 AM”… The entire world rolls its eyes.  Vicki and Tamra decide they want to corrupt “Fancypants” Heather by getting her drunk so they can see who Heather really is.  Tamra wants to get Heather so drunk that she’ll dance on a table. This is the same woman who a few seasons ago wanted to get Gretchen “naked wasted” drunk. Tamra is such a nice friend. She sure has changed, no? No more Ms. Nice Tamra from last season who wants us to watch her bridal spinoff series…

We learn more about Shannon – She was born in Los Angeles, attended USC and now lives in Orange County.  Her mother’s father was president of I. Magnin, which was a California-based high fashion, luxury department store.  She’s been married for 13 years to David who is a freeway contractor who built his business from the ground up. Shannon got pregnant on day 3 of their honeymoon. Shannon wants their kids to be down to earth and not have everything handed to them on a silver platter.  She tells one of the twins that she needed to google “minimum wage.”  So instead, the child goes to her own walking talking google of a big sister and asks her about minimum wage. Smart girl.

It’s clear that there is marital trouble in the land of Shannon and David. I suppose it’s too late to tell them to run away from being on a reality show when you already have marital problems. Shannon seems to be pretty critical of her husband, who comes home very hungry and wants a snack before dinner. He works in construction – It’s hard work. Of course he’s hungry. Shannon gripes about him eating a snack before dinner every single day. Shannon just wants to know every so often that her husband wants to spend time with her. She then yips at him about how he puts all the utensils in backwards. Gosh, what husband wouldn’t want to spend time with this wonderful, uplifting person?

During dinner, Sophie, the 12 year old complained that she didn’t have a cell phone. Shannon explained that she barely had a telephone when she was her age. But the kids explained, that was before there was technology…lol. Shannon believes that when you put a cell phone to your head that you’re radiating your brain. The family doesn’t like their dinner and Shannon is asked if it’s organic chicken? Evidently, this organic chicken was too dry. She apologizes to her diners.

Vicki surfTamra and Vicki talk Heather into taking surfing lessons. Heather is terrified of the ocean and will only go in knee deep. She will swim in pools but she’s not fond of drowning events. As they each try to get up on the surfboard, Heather “Fancypants” is the first one up. I didn’t see it, but I’m sure Heather stuck out her tongue at Vicki and Tamra who had been giving her a really hard time. Vicki deduces that Heather must have surfed her whole life but just didn’t tell anyone.  Tamra thinks that if you can’t get up on a surfboard that you’re a complete moron… Or else you’re named “Vicki.” It took Vicki a while, but she did finally get up and surf… But just as Vicki fell off the surfboard, her knee scraped down across some lava rock – which is really, really painful.

The girls rented a Jeep and decided to drive to a famous Hawaiian waterfall. Heather is the last to get to the Jeep and complains she doesn’t get to ride shot gun. Tamra and Vicki groan that Heather is already complaining…lol.. After they’re on the road, Her Royal Heatherness, being the consummate backseat driver that she is – Inquires if Vicki is driving with 2 feet or with 1 foot… lol… The next thing you know, Her Royal Heatherness is instructing Vicki that she’s tailgating and that she needs to leave at least 2 car lengths between herself and the car in front of her.  Because she wasn’t already being purposefully obnoxious enough, Heather asks over and over in her brattiest voice possible, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Vicki inexplicably gets on her cell phone while she’s driving (Which is completely illegal) and Heather yells at her to get off the phone… A few moments later, they almost crash into the car in front of them who had come to a complete stop. Whose idea was it to let Vicki drive?

Jeep-1They stop for lunch and they eat it on a picnic table underneath a tree.  They see people walking by with delicious looking corn and they decide to get some.  Heather gets up and tells the others to continue to sit under, “this very lovely Plumeria tree and I’ll be back.”  Vicki tells Heather that Plumeria is a disease… Heather firmly responds, “No, it’s not… The English language is not your strong suit, Vicki.”  Rut roh… Those are fightin’ words… Somehow, while Heather’s gone, Vicki and Tamra talk about whether or not chlamydia is a disease… Tamra tells Vicki that chlamydia is in fact a disease, but that Heather said, “Plumeria.”  Vicki thinks Heather must have meant to say “Chlamydia” and that the English language IS too her strength. So there!

Can’t we all see the writing on the wall? It’s open season on Heather this year!  In her talking head, Heather tells us that she is not sure, “If Vicki needs to be right or if Vicki needs Heather to be wrong. But at the end of the day it’s a tree.”  Vicki is annoyed because she thinks Heather acts like, “She made the dictionary… She didn’t…”  Vicki says in her talking head that Heather has to be right on absolutely everything and that it’s exhausting… Okay, who volunteers to hold a mirror up to Vicki for her… Pot, meet kettle.

Meanwhile, back in Dana Point, Shannon is at “Energy Medicine Center” seeing Dr. Moon who is (according to Bravo labeling) an “Energy Medicine Specialist” – Shannon calls him an “Energy Medicine Acupuncturist.”  She tells us that Dr. Moon has, “A healing hand.” Shannon is very interested in anything holistic and she wants to take care of things, “the natural way.”  Dr. Moon is in the office every Monday/Wednesday/Friday and Shannon evidently goes to him each of these days, every single week. Whoa… Shannon’s husband thinks they’re paying Dr. Moon’s mortgage. I’m guessing they’re paying for way more than just that.  I honestly was trying to be open to Dr. Moon until he got to the point where he told Shannon that her bellybutton was communicating with the environment… I’m sorry, but now I now have bellybutton envy… I want a bellybutton that talks, dagnabit!

It’s the girl’s last night in Hawaii which means it’s their last chance to get Heather drunk. Heather starts spouting off about stemless wine glasses and about how they’re not really appropriate for drinking wine since some wines should maintain a certain temperature and not be warmed up by your hand. They ordered, “Champs” [Ugh, I know…] but the guy didn’t correctly open up the bottle because it was dripping all over the place.

Vicki is very annoyed with Heather’s criticalness and her complaining all the time about something. The whole conversation about stemware was useless to Vicki. Unless, of course, you remember that she and Tamra had a wine business together for about a split second last season… “Wines by Wives” – but I’ve noticed that Vicki’s picture isn’t on the site anymore…lol.

Heather points out that all 3 of them are going through a transitional period in their lives.  Heather is re-entering her career… Vicki is transitioning into being single again… Tamra is officially becoming a married person and is starting a business… Tamra asks Vicki if she misses wearing a wedding ring… Vicki responds with, “Yes, I love marriage and I love being happy – but right now… I’m just in a good palace right now…” Tamra asks Vicki that if she’s happy right now – Where does Brooks fit in to all of this?  Vicki stammers… “Ummm… ummm… ummm…” and the episode ends…

Oh goodie… It looks like this season we can look forward to:  Vicki woo hooing it up; Everyone goes to Bali (Poor Bali); Vicki seems to like new girl Shannon because she likes to have fun, they’re both “Aries”, and they love to drink; Vicki not being happy with Briana about her move to Oklahoma; Marital trouble with Shannon and David because Shannon doesn’t think David  loves her anymore and he says he can’t live like this anymore; Lizzie, the other new girl that we haven’t seen yet, seems to be kind of a sex kitten which immediately draws the claws are out on the other girls; Eddie doesn’t do well with babies (I think this may have to do with Tamra and Eddie talking about having a baby through adoption or through surrogacy); Tamra tells Heather that she treats others like they are below her (news flash); Heather tells Tamra that “I’m done, please leave” and then you see Tamra walk away (At least, according to Bravo editing…); Shannon tells Heather to stop talking to her in a condescending way; and, Tamra calls Vicki, “A hypocrite who is going to bring everybody else into it instead of just herself.”  Strap on your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

See ya next week!  Happy Trails!

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RHONY logo

Real Housewives Of New York S6E5 Cast Blogs

by Ramonacoaster

#NotMyFight: Kristen on Aviva and Carole

Here we go. Right where we left off. Lu’s BBQ. I remember a lot from that night — most of it I wanted to forget. . The one main thing I remember thinking was how great it was for Aviva and Carole to be sitting down face to face on their own. They could hash this whole #BookGate thing out and be done with it once and for all! OHHH NO. . .Amanda was right up in there every time? What the hell was the deal with her, always butting in? Maybe she needed another glass of wine? Harry. Unbelievable.

Maybe Reid shelled out a few dollars to keep Amanda on Aviva’s side during any conflict.  Too bad he didn’t put in a stipulations like you must be coherent and not slurring your words when you attack others on Aviva’s behalf.

Sonja’s Brunch: Only Sonja Morgan could lose a tooth and polident it back with out flinching on TV. You go girl. I had to turn away as she was doing it because it made me sick, but hey, at least she didn’t lose lose the tooth. That would have been an issue.

I felt sorry for Sonja there.  She doesn’t need another thing to fall apart in her life.

Brunch was still very awkward for me with all the fighting going on. Lu and I had a great chat and got to know each other a bit more, so I was happy that I went. Aviva and I had little interaction.

It is best to keep your interaction to a minimum with Aviva.

Mermaid Parade: Carole looked stunning. How fun to be Queen of such an amazing event! It was extra special being in Coney Island this past year because of Hurricane Sandy. There was a lot more than usual to celebrate. The parade almost didn’t happen because of all the issues.

It looked like a lot of fun.  It is too bad we didn’t see more of the parade.

There was some float confusion, but I think we made the better float choice. Sonja was late — of course. She beats to her own drum that one. When she got on the float I asked her what we were supposed to do. She said, “Oh is this your first float?” Yep, first time. . . too funny. Carole was right, it was a great drama-free day with girl friends on the beach. Mermaid sisterhood!

NYC loves to throw a parade.  There is always some sort of celebration whether it is a city or a cultural festival in any borough you visit during the summer.

Luann:  Hard to Argue with a Mouthful of Fruit Tart

This episode has us BBQ-ing, brunching, and parading as Mermaids. . .just a typical Hampton’s weekend, right? I’ve hosted so many wonderful parties in my Hamptons home and I go to many fabulous events during the summer — and I can assure you that this BBQ is not the norm. Most Hamptons BBQs are fun, laid back events where people mix and mingle without all the drama. . .more laughing and definitely less cussing!

And grabbing men’s crotches, right Luann?

Heather was getting really frustrated towards the end of the night because she’d had it with Amanda, who wouldn’t butt out of  Aviva and Carole’s ongoing argument. I don’t think Jonathan could have pulled Heather out of the melee because Heather’s fierce when she’s fired up. I was thinking that it’s hard to argue with a mouthful of fruit tart, but no one seemed interested in my dessert.

And then you can scold them for arguing with their mouth full.

I love Heather, and I respect how much she stands up for her friends — but she went a little overboard in the tough talk with Aviva. I can see why Reid stepped in to defend his wife, because Heather was transitioning from argumentative to aggressive. When Sonja commented that “that bitch is street,” I couldn’t tell if she was complimenting Heather or insulting her! I’ve spent enough time with Heather to know that she’s 90 percent lady and only 10 percent gangsta. Holla!

You gotta let your gangsta self out when there’s a sociopath in the room.

The Real Aviva of New York City?

In my book Leggy Blonde, I wrote (or according to Carole, someone else wrote) after watching Ramona and Sonja being called “white trash”:  God, who is that bitch, that shrieking banshee? I know one thing. It’s not me. It couldn’t be. I don’t speak to people like that. I’m a good person, devoted to family and public service. I try to be sensitive, tolerant, kind, generous, and loving. Did I really just call those women “white trash?” It couldn’t be me.  Except it was. (I go on to explain why, etc. It’s all in the book).

Did she just take a leaf from Jill Z’s book and infer that all answers to life’s mysteries are “in the book?”  I don’t think I’m missing anything by not reading either of their books.

There’s always a bit of trepidation when I watch a RHONY episode. I usually remember what happened, but I also usually come off better in my memories than I do on the screen. For example, in my memory I came off a little better — calmer — when Carole attacked me at my housewarming. I lost it a bit. Ouch. I wish Bravo could just show the version I remember, but I can live with what I actually did.

You would come off better if you didn’t exaggerate what happened when repeating the story to someone else.

So when I like how I come off, I’m a little surprised. And a lot happier. This week’s episode was one of those.

Yes this episode made you look better.  People do sympathize when they hear a story of someone going through something traumatic.  Hope it doesn’t blow up your ego.

In the center ring was Heather, channeling her inner thug and getting all ghetto on Amanda’s ass. Heather, you can talk the talk, drop hip-hop names in every conversation, and bully at the top of your screeching lungs, but that doesn’t make you Da Brat . . . just a brat. Even Carole (“Heather didn’t hang out with P-Diddy for no reason; she’s got street cred, that girl.” What street is that, I wonder.) can’t save you from looking ridiculous. I was proud of myself for just walking away as you called me “motherf—er.” 

Well you did ask her if she learned that word in prison, inferring that she may have gone there.

I try not to get down and dirty with Carole and Heather. It’s tough to restrain myself when I feel provoked. I know I need to work on that. I know I can’t win with them; they’re better at it. I just don’t have the vocabulary. Nor do I have the same joy in fighting. I now wish I’d never asked Carole if she used a ghostwriter or told anyone what people were saying. I don’t really care. And I never thought Carole would be so insecure about the question to cry that her career was being ruined and that she was being slandered and that my asking/telling was illegal. (On the one hand, she calls me “a nothing” and on the other, she claims this “nothing” can damage her career.) Carole is justly proud of her decades in journalism and writing; I feel sorry for her that she doesn’t have the confidence to brush off questions that really don’t matter a damn anyway. “Is this true, Carole?” “No it’s not, Aviva.” “OK. Oops. Sorry.” Done.

Not surprising that Aviva still doesn’t get the impact of her words to Carole.  I mean what sociopath would?  Especially one that accuses people of verbal rape.

I’m not going to dwell on the section that was about my pilgrimage back to where I lost my leg other than to say:

– Thank you to The Real Housewives of New York City. Becky Morgan never would have gotten in touch with me if she hadn’t seen me on the show. And I’m also grateful for once that the RHONY cameras were there to document it. — It was amusing that this moving chapter in my life was intercut with scenes of the Mermaid Parade. From Drag Queens to Mangled Legs and back again. Who says RHONY doesn’t have a sense of humor? — That’s probably the only time you’ll see a Real Housewife of New York City in a barn.

Bravo can’t let the whole episode be about you.  The scene of you on the conveyor belt needs to be lightened up.  What better way than with the rest of ladies dressed up as mermaids on a Drag Queen float.   Both of Carole and Aviva have experienced loss and heartache.  It is interesting how Bravo juxtaposed the two scenes.  You see Carole having fun and enjoying herself while Aviva can’t help but revisit and remember the scene of her accident.

Finally, I assume that Carole simply ran out of room in last week’s foaming-at-the-mouth blog entry, and she just didn’t get around to asking, so I’ll help out. It’s hard to anticipate what’s next, but I like to get out in front of these things, so here it is — my passport — to prove I wasn’t born in Kenya. If that’s not enough to satisfy the Donald Trump of Housewives, next week I’ll supply my birth certificate to prove my original name wasn’t Aviva Hussein Osama Obama Ramalama Ding Dong Ahmed Teichner. And, oh yeah, I’m embarrassed to even have to defend myself on this point, but . . . I am not Sasquatch. Plastic surgery can do a lot (Hello Housewives!); so can amputations and hair coloring, but still, I swear to you, I’m not Bigfoot. And I’m definitely not Bigfeet.

Weird for Aviva to post a pic of her passport pic.  So from what she is saying, someone is going to accuse her of being an alien, a terrorist and a hoax.

Heather: I Would Never Hit Someone

Bye Mindy. Or was it Amanda or maybe better Minion? I just don’t understand why this woman has so many opinions about people she doesn’t even know — but I wish she would stop sharing them because we just don’t care. (She was so annoying that Jon actually thought she might push me too far and stepped in, just in case. But, she didn’t. I kept my cool and I would never hit someone — especially a someone who can’t even stand up straight.)

You didn’t even blink when Sonja announced she just peed in her pants and she didn’t have any panties on just to distract you from going ape on that Mindy image consultant.  I guess it is something you are used to.  Let Mindy eat cake!

Reid has her back, so maybe he can walk his dear friend to her car while his lovely wife Aviva threatens to “Defame me.” Yep, next in line. I actually think the two of them plan this stuff.

You gotta admire a girl that can take on three people on at the same time.  Reid, Aviva and Amanda were all trying to take her on and Heather didn’t back down.

The dictionary definition of defame:

Defame: verb (used with object) [de-famed, de-fam-ing.] 1. to attack the good name or reputation of, as by uttering or publishing maliciously or falsely anything injurious; slander or libel; calumniate: The newspaper editorial defamed the politician. 2. to disgrace; bring dishonor upon. 3. to accuse.

Aviva, the typical elitist, is unwilling to take responsibility for her actions against others. Her character assassinations of the Housewives, her false accusations against Carole, and now her threat to do the same to me (which she follows through on in her blog last week touting me as a knock-off pusher) were first enraging (unfortunately you see just how enraged I am), but now looking back she’s just making pitiful attempts at her own relevance and it’s very sad. Aviva says whatever she needs to in order to garner attention, gain sympathy, and sway people to her side and the truth be damned in her process.

If Aviva doesn’t do those things, she comes off as boring.  Bravo doesn’t want boring.

Carole Thinks This Has Gone F.U.B.A.R.

FUBAR is a term I learned when I was in Afghanistan, covering the war. It’s a military term that was adopted by pop culture, an acronym for “f—ed up beyond all repair.” Watching this episode, beginning with the crazy yelling match at LuAnn’s and ending in a barn, felt strange. The flashbacks as the Dreschers drove upstate were bittersweet. There’s a shot of me glancing out the car window last season worrying about the rooftop bar and Aviva’s fear of heights. There’s also a scene of me meeting Reid for the first time. He was wearing a plaid shirt, if I remember right, and we were laughing about wedding rings. I could never have imagined what was ahead. FUBAR.

Right now I’m on a plane flying back from North Carolina. I was here to speak to a group of people — teachers and local business men and women — who were raising money for an adult literacy program in Greenville. They were all committed to teaching adults about the importance and joy of reading. It was great to visit with them and share my stories.

Sigh. I don’t even know what to write any longer. It’s the same broken record with Vivvy. I’m bored of it and you must be, too. She defamed me, now she says she’s going to defame Heather. She’ll probably start passing poison apples out soon.

Reid is pitching in now, ganging up on me in the Drescher slander/smear campaign, and he’s also implicating Simon & Schuster. I’m surprised he would engage in this at all, I’d think he would know better. I expect Reid to understand the nuance of business relationships and slander. Imagine if I went on the show and told Ramona or Kristen that word on the street is Reid’s client’s are suing him for misappropriation of funds, or that word on the street is the SEC is investigating his business practices. Hey you guys, there’s a lot of gossip going around. There are a whole bunch of words, on lots of streets! I would think Reid would understand the implications of what he is saying, even if his wife is clueless. But no.

I think Reid knows his wife well enough that he HAS to go along with her manufactured storylines or else.

I continue to have an excllent working relationship with Aviva’s publishing house (Simon and Schuster), who is also my publisher. We are in agreement that what the Dreschers have said has no merit or credibility. All of this is a sad and desperate attempt to try to cover up Avivvy’s own deceit, and also help her seem relevant on our show. I have nothing more to say about it.

Hopefully this whole ghostwritergate stuff will be put to bed.

I’d rather talk about dessert.

I love Heather. Have I said that? She does not back down from a fight. Min-the-Minotaur, Vivaca’s sidekick, isn’t able to stand without grabbing a wall but she’s sober enough to stick her unharnessed breasts into everyone’s business.

You looked like you might have gotten an eye full when she bent over to slur her words in your ear while you were talking to Aviva.

 But first, “Girls, dessert!” I think that’s my favorite line of the episode. LuAnn is pushing the cake, she was right to. I had a piece and it was excellent. Had I screamed, “Let them eat cake!” and stormed out with a scepter, this scene might have been interesting. Instead I’m in the background trying to reason with delusion. I feel like a Kafka character: nothing makes sense, no way out. None of it stops LuAnn from presenting the fruit tart! She’s a true countess, nobility at its best. She should be presiding over a glittery 18th-century French salon with Balzac at her elbow, Proust in a corner drinking tea. Instead she has to escort a strange and drunken party guest — Min-Minny-me — out of her room. We aren’t worthy of Lu. I don’t think she realizes how funny she is. We had our differences last season, but have gotten to know each other much better and I am smitten.

A toast, a toast, my Kingdom for a snotty lousy toast. Viva is obnoxious, so naturally she gives an obnoxious toast. What is a “well-wisher,” by the way? Have you ever heard this word used so much? Does Viv-a-craze consider herself a “well-wisher”? If she is a well-wisher it means that she wishes happiness and success for me. That’s where I get confused. Because she didn’t congratulate me or wish me anything when I sold my novel, though I did when she got her book deal. And that’s fine. But now, still, a year after filming these scenes, she won’t back off her aggressive campaign in the press to insult and revile me and my work. She’s tried to age-shame me, and has been disrespectful about my late husband’s family. She’s insulted every single woman on the show. Does Viva-voom celebrate or well-wish any woman? Well . . .let’s think. Her ghostwriter is a woman, but she pretends she doesn’t exist. Hmm. Now she’s talking about “defaming” Heather. (She’ll say anything to get attention.) No wonder Heather was outraged, she knew she was next. Vam-bien thinks she’s got something on Heather. Ooh. Scary. We all know it’s BS.

I want to add this Addendum to Lu’s book, Class with the Countess (I’m her ghostwriter!): “Leave Your Dentures at Home but Bring the Cake.”

Vivs-biz is so tired of all the drama that she has to get her skin lasered off. The drama is building up on her face, it’s not a good look. No one is talking about this except for her, and now her husband, and Sonja. Shut. Up. Already.

Vivvy D. has gleefully cast herself as the villain in our little world. She’s playing a character she has clearly relished scripting, from her campy pulp dialogue to her pseudo-dramatic pose — arms flapping, hair flung side to side. I’m glad she enjoys it. At a distance, it’s comic relief. Close up, it’s well. . .you tell me. I know her ambitions are high but she makes me think of a Roald Dahl character. I can picture she and Reid 20 years from now, after kids and cameras are gone, as Dahl’s crabby couple the Twits. Alone and twitching around, trading wormy plates of spaghetti and their grumpy little jabs.

I promise all of you still watching that she eventually stops playing the victim. . .of this drama anyway.

This gives me hope that I will continue to enjoy watching this show.

I felt so honored when the Coney Island Association asked me to be Queen of the Mermaid Parade this past year. Okay, I wasn’t exactly their first choice, Norah Jones was. But she was busy making albums, touring, and being the fabulous Norah Jones so I got the gig. Judah was their first pick for King Neptune, and he was perfect.

For the past 31 years Coney Island has been home to the Mermaid parade, an annual summer event that has become the nation’s largest art parade. Last year it was in danger of being canceled — an aftereffect of Hurricane Sandy. Coney Island USA, the non-profit that organizes the parade, lost its main source of fundraising when its museum was flooded by the hurricane. So the organizers asked me to participate in their Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds needed to keep it alive. They raised nearly $120,000.

For the past 31 years Coney Island has been home to the Mermaid parade, an annual summer event that has become the nation’s largest art parade. Last year it was in danger of being canceled — an aftereffect of Hurricane Sandy. Coney Island USA, the non-profit that organizes the parade, lost its main source of fundraising when its museum was flooded by the hurricane. So the organizers asked me to participate in their Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds needed to keep it alive. They raised nearly $120,000.

I attended my first Mermaid parade eight years ago and I loved it so much I bought a mermaid skirt. (Moschino was doing a mermaid inspired line that year!) It hung in my closet for years; it’s hard to wear a mermaid skirt around town even if it is Moschino. But it was perfect for Kristen.  It’s hard for me to reconcile the double-teaming couple so at ease lobbing slander at my face, with the two people driving upstate to confront a childhood trauma. But this is a very touching and moving scene. It’s a glimpse of the woman I thought I met two years ago. Maybe she will return.

Sonja: Aviva Is in a Fragile State

Are you a well wisher? Or a doom wisher? Or I guess that’s another word for sociopath! I told you guys there’s one in every 15 people. Scary! No wonder Aviva is asking everyone if they are a well wisher. Beats the alternative — not that a sociopath is going to admit to wishing harm on others.

Sociopath=Aviva

We see more of Reid as he comes to Aviva’s defense and says he was there with three women that said Carole didn’t write the book. So this leads us to believe Aviva is not making it up. However, I still say neither girl should be asking who wrote what, since this whole thing is out of control! Everyone really seems to have ganged up on Aviva who is, in my eyes, in a fragile mental and health state. Is it just me or it shows as well?!?  She’s getting thinner, paler, and forget a ghostwriter — she looks like Casper the ghost herself!

I don’t see it.  She seems to be relishing the attention.

Really, what came out in front of Lu’s kitchen when I blurted my say to Carole is that Carole is holding a grudge against Aviva for her behavior towards Ramona and I last season in St Barth’s. But the punishment for that crime is delayed! #Ramonja is already moving on. But unfortunately Carole and Heather were the last to figure out what was going on back then — and now they want to vent. You can’t say Ramona and I didn’t lash out in retaliation towards Aviva back then. We were knee deep in that cow dunk and shoveled it right out the barn door. Looks like Heather wants to do the same with some s— kicking heels.

Aviva pretty much is telling everyone that Carole is a phony and a fraud.  Carole needs to defend herself.  In St. Barth’s until the ladies saw the footage of Aviva attacking you and Ramona, they had no idea of the vitriol that Aviva spewed at you.   After that, they would assume they are the next victims and they were right.

My dear friend, Executive Chef Seth Levine of Georgica Restaurant and Lounge is also #TeamSonja for a long time now and was so kind to put on the spread of lobster, shrimp, waffles stuffed with ricotta, and so much more! I have been there for him in the past to help him promote his new restaurants and ventures, and he was there for me in true Top Chef form. It was so delicious! With a little help from my wonderful gracious friends, I get by. All will work out in the end.

I was getting hungry looking at the spread.

At Dr. Sadick’s office, Aviva and I were really having a heart-to-heart with the facial masks on. But how can anyone watching us take us seriously? We look like. . .ghosts! Whoops. There is that word again. Carole’s going to kill me. I really hope the sting goes out of this argument soon. I wanted to “return to sender” this Aviva last year. It took me awhile to forgive.

You guys look like Freddy from Friday the Thirteenth.

Aviva said it was her friend’s idea to play with the machine, but it’ nobodys fault. I would definitely blame someone for some long time, but they were kids. It would have been easy to panic and not turn the machine off, even if you were an adult. When my daughter fell in the pool at 18 months old, everyone around her panicked and I had to calmly walk into the pool and take her out, making sure not to harm myself so I could save her. And one of those people was a trained professional caregiver! The other was my ex-husband. I know firsthand that people panic. I think I don’t panic because I always imagine the worst happening in every situation, so when it does I know exactly what I’m going to do! You know what they say: “Imagine the best but be prepared for the worst.”  Aviva has a healthy attitude in this situation. This accident makes Aviva who she is to other people, and gives her the experience to share and help others through their pain. I see Aviva’s face after going back to the scene of the accident and it is so different. The relief is evident.

It was brave of Aviva to go back to the scene of the accident.  I thought she would be a mess but she was able to reconstruct the events of that day without hysterics.  I hope it was cathartic for her.

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DWTS ABC logo

Dancing with the Stars S18E5

by BB

Scores from last week:

Merrill: 78
James:  74
Amy:  70
Charlie:  69
Danica:  68
Cody:  66
NeNe:  63
Drew:  63
Candace:  60

The season is half way over so let the eliminations resume!  Guest judge was former ballroom champion Donny Osmond.  The first two couples who were announced safe were Charlie and Sharna and Drew and Cheryl.

Drew and Cheryl danced the quick step and their music and costumes are from the movie Aladdin.   Drew is not a dancer, but he sure has a cute kid.  Score:  28

Charlie and Sharna do a Jazz routine to music from Mary Poppins.  Not personally a fan of that routine, but the judges must have seen something I didn’t.  They LOVED it.  Score:  37 (Len gave them a 10)

Amy and Derek and Danica and Val were the next two couples deemed safe.  Nene and Tony and Cody and Whitney were put into the jeopardy category.

Danica and Val danced the Quick Step to a song from Beauty and the Best.  Danica is definitely a contender in my opinion.  Score:  39 (3 10s)

Amy and Derek danced a Waltz from Cinderella.  Derek’s biggest concern for Amy are the ballroom dances because of her prosthetic legs.  She got very frustrated during rehearsals this week.  Turned out lovely and elegant.  Score:  37

Cody and Whitney danced the Samba to a song from the Lion King.  I’m just not impressed with Cody’s dancing, but I would think all his young girl fans would be voting for him and am surprised he was in jeopardy this week.  Donny said he didn’t look like he was enjoying the dance.  Score:  34

NeNe and Tony danced the Fox Trot to music from 101 Dalmatians, with Nene as Cruella de Ville.   The true NeNe personality came out during rehearsals when she accused Tony of having an attitude when he wouldn’t listen to the pointers she got from Derek the week before.  NeNe displayed some of her RHOA diva drama.  I’d been waiting for it.  NeNe got all emotional after the dance.  Can’t tell if it was real or acting for votes in case she wasn’t voted off this week.  Score:  36

James and Peta danced Contemporary to a song from Frozen.  James paid for a special needs young lady to come see the show after she asked him to the prom and he couldn’t go because of DWTS.   James is another contender in my book.  Score:  40 (all tens)

Merrill and Maks danced the Samba to a song from The Jungle Book.  Maks had difficulty choreographing a Samba to a Disney song.  They dance well together and I enjoyed it.  Score:  36

Candace and Mark danced the Samba to a song from The Little Mermaid.   Candace has some cute kids too.  Score:  35.  They are the third couple who were in jeopardy.

This week’s scores:
James 40
Danica 39
Amy 37
Charlie 37
Merrill 36
NeNe 36
Candace 35
Cody 34
Drew 28

So who got eliminated?  NeNe and Tony OR Cody and Sharna OR Candace and Mark?

It’s not NeNe and Tony.  It’s Cody and Whitney.  I’m surprised because I thought his girl fans would vote for him.  However, I’m not disappointed because he’s definitely not my personal favorite.

Next week:  Party Anthem Theme night.  Woot!  Woot!

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