A Tale of Two Miamis by MKV
The ladies of Miami are back, well most of the them. Gone are Larsa Pippin and Christy Rice, I won’t miss them, don’t think anyone will. The status of Alexia Echevarria as a housewife is in question too. She’s not featured in the opening credits but she does appear in this episode (and some others, so I hear). Alexia couldn’t commit to film the second season because her youngest son Frankie was in a car accident last August. He suffered from a head injury and multiple broken bones including a crushed pelvis. He in physical and speech therapy.
Joanna Krupa (33) – “I’m a model but not always a model citizen.”
She’s a model and actress, modeling for magazine covers such as Esquire, Maxim and Stuff. Her acting credits include Hot Girl on Son of a Beach (TV series I’ve never heard of), Friend at Leo’s Party in Plant of the Apes, Juggy Dancer on The Man Show, Waitress on CSI. I don’t think I need to go further, you get the picture. Oh, she was on Dancing with the Stars, partnered with Derek Hough. I’ve never watched DWTS so that’s all I’m gonna say about it. Joanna is either engaged, married or divorced from Romain Zago, a club owner in Miami. I love the Internet, you can get all the information you want on someone, whether it’s true or not. During filming, the couple are engaged. She splits her time betw.een LA and Miami, her sister Marta lives with her & her fiance. Sister & fiance don’t always get along. She’s a big time animal rights activist (not in the Kelly B way) so she’s all right in my book.
Karent Sierra (38)- “If you don’t like my smile, then don’t look my way.”
The dentist to the stars, or so she tells us. A hot Columbian woman the people gravitate to, who is confident because she was in beauty pageants when she was younger, so she says. Her boyfriend is Rodolfo Latin soap opera star who is every woman’s dream, she says that too. She doesn’t know it yet, but her dream man is playing text tag with newcomer Ana. We see Karent in the her office preparing for a root canal, waving her hands (containing a dreaded needle) around talking about a red carpet event. We see her at home with her parents and dream man at the breakfast table. Doesn’t look like a big happy family. Karent is a bit full of herself and rather boring. Luann of Miami, without the title.
Lisa Hochstein (29) – “My husband’s a top plastic surgeon in this town and I’m his best creation.”
How creepy is that tag line? Lisa claims she’s spoiled and somewhat vain (no sh*t). Her job is shopping and taking care of the house with the help of her recovering alcoholic, studying to be a pastor maid Daysy. Daysy does such a good job Lisa dn her husband are rewarding her with a breast lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. All that after Daysy loses a significant amount of weight. We learn Lisa’s husband is the “boob god”, they just bought a house on Star Island where home prices start at $15 million. Oh, and Lisa has some movement in her forehead so her husband better remember to bring the Botox home. She’s got the look of too much face work…separated at birth from Adrienne Maloof and Joan Rivers.
Ana Quincoces (47) – “Whether in the courtroom or the kitchen, I bring the heat.” Ana’s an attorney and a chef. Her looks remind me of Khloe K, anyone else think so? Ana’s been separated from her husband for two years. They have two daughters and a great relationship. They are also partners in a law firm. She wants to move the office to Coral Gables, he wants to stay where they are. Ana is ready to move on. Robert (the husband) has a 30 year old Columbian girlfriend and Ana is starting a new relationship with Rodolfo. Yes, Karent’s dream man is straying. Ana is old friends with Alexia and Marysol, you can tell their friendship is genuine, not Bravo generated. I like her. We’ll see if that holds true throughout the season.
Adriana DeMoura – “I may speak five languages but my true language is independence.”
Adriana’s still engaged but now living with Fredrick. He brings her to his newly purchased “gentleman’s yacht”. It’s a fixer upper. I can see it, just need to put in a few hundred thousand and it will be a real show piece. He wants Adriana to move onto the boat when it’s done. She says she needs room for her baby grand piano and a walk in closet and she’d be a happy camper. Somehow I doubt it.
Marysol Patton – “My job is about making fast decisions but my personal life I leave up to destiny.”
Marysol and her mom Elsa drive up to a jewelry store. Elsa drives. Elsa drives? Elsa tells us her doctor said her ear looks like a banana, this is the surgeon that destroyed Elsa’s face. They are not friends. Marysol and Phillipe’s anniversary is coming up, too bad there won’t be a gift involved, they separated a couple months before and he moved into an apartment. They are still trying to figure things out. Elsa thinks she should get over it but Marysol clearly still loves Phillipe. Marysol and Lea’s friendship is strained. They haven’t spoken since last years Gala where something went wrong on the red carpet. Apparently Lea blames Marysol for the error.
Lea Black – “I can deal with a lot but I can’t deal with stupid”
With the real estate market down, it’s a good time to buy investment properties. Lea was “talked into” buying a house a Star Island Lea finds out a friend of Adriana’s just bought a house on the island as well, a house she was interested in buying but wasn’t for sale.
Google Star Island, Lea’s house is to the right of Bridge Road, Lisa’s is the fourth house on the right. Check out the real estate. All sorts of celebrities live or have lived there. From Will Smith, Don Johnson, Rosie O’Donnell, Gloria Estefan. Lea complains that the house has too much wrong with it, they should tear it down and start over. It’s too old. It was built in the late 70’s.
The ladies meet up at a Food & Wine event. Marysol, Alexia and Ana arrived in their limo…oops they almost forgot about Mama Elsa who’s sitting in the front with the driver. Lisa arrives with Joanna and her sister Marta. Adriana arrives and is glad to see Lisa there. Lea shows up and is introduced to Lisa. The introduction is brief because Lea spots Elsa and gives her a big hug. Lisa thinks Lea is rude. They talk later, Lisa says she’s looking forward to Lea’s Gala and that she puts on little Gala’s of her own. Lea just stares her down, Lisa suggests they do shots. Lisa is not what Lea expected. Joanna is excited to meet Elsa and notices she doesn’t look quite right. She goes off to find her a chair.
Karent and her dream man arrive. Ana tells Joanna about meeting Rodolfo through Alexia and her budding relationship with the dream man. Karent spots Ana and introduces herself. Rodolfo introduces himself to Ana as well. Ana is confused. Karent doesn’t think Ana is a threat because Rodolfo isn’t interested in older women. I don’t swim in the ladies pond but I think Ana is much more attractive than Karent.
It’s crowded, hot and stuffy in the room. Elsa is swaying and finally goes down. They call 911. Elsa’s in the ambulance and she wants Marysol with her. We have to wait till next week to see what happened.
Big Brother Thursday Night Summary by BB
After Jenn exits the house, the Quack Pack celebrates for about 10 seconds, then realize they have to betray each other or, as Dan says, “We’ve got to start eating our own ducks.” Danielle is now the HOH after winning a tiebreaker against Shane. Dan has final three deals with everyone in the house.
I really don’t care what’s going on in the jury house. Ashley is an airhead and is meditating and blowing bubbles until Britney walks in. Britney and Ashley share girlie time until Frank walks in. Ashley is happy to be with him, but wanted him to win. They talk about how they should have gotten rid of Dan when they could have (ya think?). Britney knows Dan is playing a good game. Frank doesn’t think so. I agree with Britney. Joe is the next person who arrives at the jury house. Britney and Frank get into it about who’s been loyal and who’s not and whether BB is a game of integrity (Frank) or a game to be won at all costs (Britney). I say it’s a game of a little luck and a lot of smarts and they are both sitting in the jury room.
Whoever wins the Power of Veto competition will be guaranteed a spot in the final three, along with Danielle (unless she wins). Dan has a deal with Danielle and Shane to get Ian out. He has a deal with Ian to take him to the final two. Danielle wins the POV. Ian is now on life support. Or is he? Dan is going to try to get Danielle to use the POV on him so he can control who stays and who goes. Time for Dan to make his move. He tells Danielle he doesn’t trust Shane, but promises her he will save Shane if she pulls him from the block and puts Shane up. Danielle tells Dan if he double-crosses her she will castrate him with a butter knife. She tells Shane about Dan’s plan and she would never ever put him up if she thought he would be in danger. Shane tells Danielle to do whatever she wants.
It’s time see who’s going to do what. Danielle uses the power of veto to save Dan. Now Dan is in the driver’s seat. Ian and Shane each address Dan. Shane seems to be acting like he’s surprised and addresses all three players about how much he respects them, blah, blah, blah. At this point he thinks he’s safe. Ian’s seems shocked that Danielle has pulled Dan from the block, and makes a very short speech. Dan stands and evicts Shane. Shane leaves quickly. Danielle cannot believe it. She is stunned and speechless. Ian is about to hyperventilate. Dan takes Danielle aside and tells her as her coach he had to look out for her and now she has the votes in the jury house to win. Shane tells Julie that Dan said something to him about Danielle having the votes to win as he was leaving the house. Julie asks Shane why he agreed to go on the block so readily. He says didn’t really readily agree and he trusted Danielle and Dan. He says Dan is a dirty player. Shane tells Julie who knows, there could be potential for a future with Danielle and he forgives her. I personally don’t think this relationship will go much further.
So Dan, Danielle and Ian are in the final three. Whew!
Project Runway “It’s All About Me” by BB
There are eight designers left. That many? This season seems especially long to me. The designers go to the work room and see Mondo there, winner of Project Runway Allstars. It’s the textile design challenge. They need to come up with their own textile pattern and create a modern look inspired by their cultural heritage. Mondo explains that he won his version of this challenge and announced that he was HIV positive during that show. He tells them to dig deep and to make it matter, but not to make it too literal. Christopher is kind of lost because he’s doesn’t know that much about his own heritage. Dmitry is open to new challenges even though he’s not used to working with prints. The designers will be getting a special delivery about their cultural heritage. While the designers are working on the computers, the doors open and someone special to each one of them arrives, either a mom, old friend, sister, significant other, etc. They are each there to help the designers come up with the concept of their designs. Some of them get videos of their close family members and some of them look at pictures of themselves from the past. Each one gets their own individual inspiration and consultation with their special visitor. Christopher seems to be having the most trouble. He hates prints and doesn’t want to work with them. He’s already talking in a self-defeating manner.
They go to mood with a $100 budget. Dmitry feels rejuvenated and Elena feels happier. The go back to Parsons to start working on their designs. Gunnar is going with the equestrian look. Christopher wants to incorporate something to do with ladybugs to represent his grandmother when she passed away and there were lots of ladybugs around. Dmitry knows he can’t do a dress this time. He has to make separates because all he’s done is dresses. Christopher can’t seem to proceed until he has the print in front of him. Tim comes in and tells them their loved ones are back at Atlas making dinner for them and for them to have a nice evening. They get to spend some down time with them and get some encouragement. It helps the designers after they have kind of lost some steam emotionally and physically. The designers try to enjoy the moment and not worry about what’s ahead of them the next day. Christopher has convinced himself he will be the least motivated the next day and thinks his parents being there has taken away his focus. If this competition were just about attitude, I would be showing Christopher the door for this challenge. But it isn’t. It’s about the design.
The designers get their prints and they’re all happy with them. Fabio sees copulation happening in his fabric and says it’s the essence of life. Christopher is Mr. Negativity about the other designers’ prints and his own design. Ven wants to do something different (I hope so), but Dmitry thinks he needs to do something with those flowers. Christopher hears Gunnar talking about his childhood and being bullied and feels the wall is coming down between them because their stories are similar. Gunner runs into trouble getting his pattern to fit into his design. Christopher has no clue what he wants to do and needs Tim for guidance. He’s never been so unsure about anything.
Tim shows up and tells Christopher he needs to go with his heart. He decides to go for the cocktail dress out of his two looks. Tim tells Dmitry to use the top to sex his design up. He tells Ven his dress looks like an homage to menstrual cycle and his dress looks like maxi-pads. Ven didn’t expect that but the other designers see it now that Tim has said it. Tim likes what Fabio did. Melissa needs to be more ambitious with hers to wow the judges. Tim tells Elena her design looks like a Marlo Thomas That Girl thing. None of the designer have a clue what Tim is talking about. Tim tells Gunner his design looks too heavy for the light print he’s chosen. Gunnar will have to redo the jacket and Ven pretty much starts over.
The models have been made up and accessorized and it’s time for the Runway. Here I go with my initial quick reaction with each design. The designers’ loved ones are still there to see the show. The guest judges are Mondo and Anya, Season 9 winner. She’s the one who won who didn’t know how to sew. She draped a lot. I love love love Sonjia’s printed pants and black jersey top. Elena’s design doesn’t look like her which is good, but it kind of looks like a nurse’s smock to me. I’m not into Christopher’s dress. Something about the fit of the dress isn’t right through the middle. Ven’s dress is the exact same dress he’s done for every show except “Fix My Friend.” Sorry Ven, you are pretty much one note. Fabio’s design looks good, but the print doesn’t really stand out. I love Melissa’s red print dress. Good job. Gunnar kind of likes his design, but I don’t like it. The print’s OK, but the design and fit are not. Dmitry really did something different. I like the placement of the blouse print on the jacket. It’s well constructed and looks expensive.
Elena and Fabio are safe and leave the runway. Sonjia, Melissa and Dmitry have the highest scores. I totally agree with the judges on this one. Gunnar, Christopher and Ven have the lowest scores and again, I agree with the judges. I will be happy if any one of the top three win. Of the lowest scores, I guess I like Gunnar’s the least, even if I’m sick of seeing the same design from Ven. They do something different when Heidi calls Tim in and asks him if he ever tells Ven he needs to do something different. Tim tells Heidi Ven’s first design looked like a sanitary pad and he didn’t use it and came up with the second design on his own. Mondo was the most critical of all the judges, both towards the best and the worst of the designers. Mondo has really come into his own and is no longer quiet and shy.
The winner is Dmitry (I would have chosen Sonjia but I like Dmitry’s too) and the loser is Gunnar. I like Gunnar, but think the judges made the right decision. Gunnar actually looks relieved to be leaving and he and Christopher share a moment before he goes to the workroom to pack his things.
Dance Moms- Season Finale- 9-11-2012 by Michigan Susan
Bottom Row: Paige (she forgot part of her choreography) (slam)
Nia (she needs to be as strong at the end as she is at the beginning)
Chloe (she has been consistently in the top 5; 6th just isn’t good enough)
Kendall (solo was energized and sharp but her turns were sluggish)
Middle row: Brooke (is capable of much more; is lazy) (slam)
Mackenzie (messes up on easy stuff)
Top row: Maddie (of course)
The group remains in California and they are now heading to Beverly Hills for the Energy National Invitational.
The group number is called “My Last Text” and everyone will dance in it.
Only four solos are allowed and Abby chooses Mackenzie, Maddie and Brooke. Nia, Kendall, and Chloe will have to compete for the fourth solo. Paige will only dance in the group number. (slam)
The group dance is about kids texting and driving. The girls start out on prop car seats and while Paige is “driving” and texting, they have an accident. Abby says that Paige won’t have to do much and that she’s pretty. (slam)
Kelly realizes that Paige isn’t going to be doing any dancing but she’ll just be sitting holding a pretend steering wheel. Paige asks Abby if she’ll be dancing but Abby tells her that Paige blew it with her last solo dance. (slam) Why is Abby being so awful to the Hyland girls? The passive-aggressive slams are coming faster and faster.
Lots of mom-daughter tension this week. Jill continues to whine that Kendall should be given the solo since she beat Chloe last week. Christi “helps” Chloe rehearse for the solo audition. Christi is concerned because Chloe choked at nationals last year. Chloe seems frustrated.
ALDC choreographer and instructor Gia shows the Dance Moms a tweet from Candy Apple Cathy—“Can’t wait to kick your ass.”
Mackenzie practices her Honey Bee solo. Abby says Mackenzie is more of a “killer bee”. 🙂
Back at group rehearsal, Kelly can barely look at Paige sitting on the car seat holding the pretend steering wheel as the girls dance around her. Kelly is ready to cry.
Brooke rehearses her solo. Abby says it could be beautiful or sloppy and that Brooke needs to dance with her face (meaning with emotion).
Maddie practices her solo but Abby stops her saying that it’s hard to run a solo with 2 moms talking about Maddie. She glares at Kelly.
Then. It. Happens.
Abby goes off on Kelly saying that Kelly needs to go to a pediatrician to find out what’s wrong with Paige!!!!!! (Meaning that Paige is stupid for forgetting her dance routines). Wow. Who says that???? The Moms are horrified. Kelly takes her girls and storms out. Abby says that Kelly’s temper tantrums are “pathetic”.
Christi says she’s seen Kelly storm out a time or twenty (so true!) but that this time was different. The Moms are genuinely worried that Kelly won’t come back. Kelly says she can’t do this anymore and she needs to pull her girls out of the dance studio.
During all of this, an agent calls Kelly hoping to set up a photo shoot with Paige. Kelly decides since Brooke got to record her song and do a video that now she wants to do something for Paige. They go to the photo shoot and Paige looks fabulous!
The Hylands come back for the next group rehearsal. Kelly says the girls want to practice and perform and that they will finish out the year. Abby says to her, “Why do you keep leaving? Why don’t you stay the hell away?” Kelly replies that “the girls want to be here”. Abby stomps back to rehearsal.
It’s time for Kendall, Chloe and Nia to audition for the solo. In another sick twist, Abby decides that the Moms will choose the soloist. Obviously, Jill votes for Kendall , Christi votes for Chloe and Holly votes for Nia. To break the tie, Abby tells Melissa to choose. At first Melissa votes for Nia “because she works so hard”. Jill goes crazy and says Kendall deserves the spot. Abby asks Melissa who will bring the most points; Melissa says that Chloe is the one who can beat Justice of Candy Apples. Kendall speaks up and says she can beat Justice and that Chloe doesn’t deserve the spot. Ugh. Just when I was starting to like Kendall L
The Candy Apples arrive at the same rehearsal space as the ALDC with a guest choreographer. The Candy Apple kids start chanting “Clean Chloe’s Clock”. While I do love alliteration, the chanting was just stupid and unsportsmanlike. Seriously. Cathy is heard cackling and laughing like a deranged hyena.
PLOT TWIST! Cathy hounds Abby saying that Abby was annoying the Candy Apple Dance moms with calls and that they have the messages on their cell phones to prove it. Abby laughs it off and THEN Abby says Justice’s mom Tanya was contacting Melissa to find out about the ALDC. Cathy marches outside with Tanya to have a heated discussion. You can tell that Cathy knew NOTHING about Tanya’s “betrayal”!!! Yee ha!
Cathy yammers on about her group doing a “classy” act and that their number is “heart-felt”. Yet her dances chant outside the ALDC room and Cathy refers to Abby as a “wide load”. Yep. Classy, all right.
Maddie’s lyrical solo “Telling Myself” goes beautifully. Abby says it’s “on the money” and it was like watching a professional. Sounds like Maddie is the favorite again.
Justice of Candy Apples performs next. Abby says he has tons of flaws in his choreography while Cathy says his kicks are “amazing’!
Brooke’s acro solo of “Diary of Anne Frank” is well done and she used emotion!
Mackenzie’s acro solo “Honey Bee” is adorable. Abby says that Mackenzie loved her dance and costume and hair bows and it showed. Cathy was annoyed with the “stupid bee solo”. It was the same music that Vivi-Anne used last season.
Chloe’s contemporary solo “Silence” is wonderful. Abby says that Chloe can be amazing or a freaked out mess. Holly says that she’s happy that Chloe got the solo since Chloe needs this solo to prove herself to Abby. Holly is one class act!
Candy Apples’s Group jazz number is “The Storm”. They use umbrellas for props and it wasn’t impressive. Vivi-Anne actually scoots her butt on stage at one point and then poses as a human prop yet again. Cathy—please note, your daughter can’t dance. Your daughter doesn’t like to dance. We know it. She knows it. Everyone, but you, knows it.
In the dressing room, Kelly tells everyone about Paige’s photo shoot and shows them one of the photos. Abby has to ruin the moment by saying the photo shoot is what is distracting Paige and that “pretty can go away quick, right Kelly?” What a horrible thing to say, Abby. You are unbelievable.
Group Number! After the amazing yet disturbing performance, Cathy comments that the car seat must have come off Christi’s front porch but that the piece was brilliant. Abby says the crowd didn’t know whether to clap or cry. They were stunned, for sure.
Petite Solo 1st Mackenzie
Teen Solo 1st Brooke
Jr. Solo 3rd Justice
Group 1st Abby Lee Dance Company!
Kelly says it was hard to watch the girls perform since it may be the last time. She really doesn’t want to come back. Who could blame her after Abby said those awful things?
Abby said that Kelly put her through hell. Huh?
Christi asks Kelly to wait and think things over. She says “it’s not a team without you guys.”
Next week….a Dance Moms Reunion Special!!!
LittleNewton – Watch What Happens Live
Tonight’s guests are Miami housewives Joanna Krupa and Lea Black. The bartender is Joanna’s boyfriend Romain Zago. Andy asks how Mama Elsa is doing because she collapsed in the episode and at a premier party this week. They say she is fine. Thank god!! Andy shares some observations fans made of the show like how casually Lisa asks her husband to bring Botox home as well as Mama Elsa’s energy box of rice.
Poll question is in reference to Lisa saying that her face matches her ass (because they’re both so attractive) and the poll asks if her face actually DOES match her ass. I don’t think she is very attractive due to her obvious plastic surgery so I vote no.
Andy says he missed Mama Elsa the most out of all the Miami housewives and he airs a montage of her awkward one-liners. Andy has his own energy box that he kept his hands in for a while. Andy says he discovered that Karent’s boyfriend, Rodolfo Jimenez, stars in a telanovela “Anita No Te Rajes”. He airs a clip and I must say Rodolfo is quite attractive (although I am Hispanic so I love all Latin men!) Andy rolls a very awkward tickle fetish video of Joanna from earlier in her career. She seems really embarrassed but says that when she moved to Hollywood and was 19 when she filmed it and got paid well. She makes a point by saying at least she wasn’t an escort!
Andy goes to some caller questions and the ladies are asked what their secrets are to looking so good. Joanna says moisturize and wear sunglasses to, “protect your face from squinting”. Lea says hanging out with the women is enough motivation to keep her in shape. Lea is asked if she has had work between seasons but she says no. Andy got questions asking if Joanna was making digs at Kimmy Kardasian in the show and she does admit that she is very anti-fur and believes Khloe is a hypocrite for doing an anti-fur campaign and then leaving the campaign for her sister (this goes back to when Kim was flour-bombed by a PETA activist and Khloe left as a spokesperson because they “attacked” her sister. I personally think the whole thing was staged for their show and for Kim to gain sympathy after her nasty divorce but I digress…). Joanna says her sex tape comment could be in reference to anyone these days. Andy asks Lea if Christy Rice ever paid her back for the gala crashing drama from season 1. Lea says that Christy made a nice donation and that she is a sweet girl and she misses her this season. We don’t!
After the commercial, Joanna is asked if she has had her lips injected. She admits to having it done in the past but says her plump lips come from a lip gloss called “lip injection”. Suuuure… Joanna is asked about what she thought about Mama Elsa and she says that she was nice and felt bad that she got sick at the party. She hints that things might change later in the season. Andy asks lea AGAIN if she had work done and she says that it’s just not true. Andy doesn’t buy it. Joanna talks about the Ocean Drive cover and says that she hasn’t gotten it…yet. “Tick Tock!” Andy says. Sounds like we won’t be seeing that cover anytime soon.
The game for the night is called Lea Black or Just a Cat? Clips are played and they need to guess whether it was her or an actual cat. They don’t do very well but honestly the sounds all sounded the same so it was really hard to tell.
Andy takes more caller questions and Lea is asked if blowing off Lisa was a very neighborly thing to do. Lea says she was simply just working the room and she did say hi to her.
Andy’s Mazel went to Sally Struthers because she got a DUI and could use a pick-me-up. Andy says that he and his staff were talking about her at the exact same time she went to jail and thinks it’s SO weird. Jackhole goes to a Malaysian car wash that teamed up with a massage parlor and is giving away free sex for every 10 washes. Keep it classy!
Poll results are in and show that 60% of people think that Lisa’s face does NOT match her ass. 40% think it does.
The LynnFam wishes a very Happy Birthday to our good friends One More in Boston and Dickens – hope you both have a great day! 🙂