From Brandi’s twitter: “Just wrote my blog and wow is it aggressive but this episode really wound me up! Hmm I may regret it tomorrow but I just pushed send! Xxb”
While you are over at Bravo read Marisa’s blog. She SLAMS Taylor. I’ve got to say I agree with her.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “Moroccan Madness” by BB
OK, you guys. This is gonna be another one of those episodes where it’s important to try to catch what everyone is saying while everyone is talking at once, but I’ll try not to make it too painfully long. First let’s get through the less intense scenes.
Brandi tells Lisa about the conversation she just had with Scheana. Lisa assures Brandi she’s a great mom and she will find happiness again, blah, blah, blah. That was a waste of about six minutes.
Kyle goes over to her BFF (just kidding) Yolanda’s house, for what reason I’m not sure. She greets Yolanda at the top of the steps to her humongous gardens and is afraid of the bees. Kyle seems to be afraid of a lot of things. Yolanda tells her she has a beehive because she makes honey and to not be afraid. Kyle refers to Yolanda as the Dutch Martha Stewart and I have to say if what we are seeing is accurate, she’s pretty close.
Yolanda got inspired the first time she did the 10 day Master Cleanse and that’s why she started growing lemons, even though she overdid it a little with the lemon tree planting. Yolanda and Kyle prepare the master cleanse concoction and Kyle wonders why they can’t make a cookie cleanse. She informs Kyle that you can lose up to 10 lbs. doing this cleanse. Kyle asks Yolanda why else would she do it and Yolanda responds, “to be healthy.” Kyle vows in her talking head to do the cleanse until she gets back home that day. If Yolanda wonders why one of her lemon trees looks so much healthier than the others, it’s probably because Kyle dumped her bottle of cleanse behind it on her way out.
Yolanda informs Kyle she has asked Kim over to her house about three times to do the cleanse because she wants her to get healthy. She has never shown up. Kyle tells her not to take it personally because she does it to her too. She tells Yolanda Kim is stronger and in a better place. She says when she was little Kim was her hero and she thought Kim could do magic things. Kim looked out for Kyle, but they would also fight tooth and nail. It makes Kyle sad that they argue. Yolanda tells Kyle it’s going to take time to get to a good relationship with Kim and it’s not going to happen overnight. In her TH, Yolanda says Kim has gotta be who Kim is and she’s gotta find her own way. She tells Kyle she is probably Kim’s rock and Kyle thanks her. Yolanda is convinced if Kim would do this cleanse, it would change her life, she feels that strongly about it. Kyle says it would be better for Yolanda to try to convince Kim than her.
In the meantime, Kim (who has a houseman), meets with her life coach, Gary, who tells her how proud he is of her now and she looks amazing and clear. She tells Gary about having anger and resentment weighing her down and she needs to let go of that anger. She feels so mad at Kyle and that Kyle has changed. Gary tells her Kyle is the same but Kim is not the same, she’s not drunk. Kim is very hurt about what Kyle did to her and there is a flashback where Kyle publicly called her an alcoholic in the limo during Season 1. He tells Kim they need to cut the bullshit, clear the air and move on. Have Kim and Kyle tried joint counseling? Just sayin’.
While Lisa is at Villa Blanca discussing things with Francis, the executive chef, Ken and Rocio, the housekeeper, are busy preparing a surprise for Lisa because she’s been working so hard getting their new home in shape. When Lisa arrives home, Ken presents her with his surprise of a nice swing bedecked with pretty pink ribbons and flowers. Of course Giggy has to be dressed in his pink suit to match the surprise. Even though Lisa doesn’t like surprises, she is so happy with the swing and the flowers planted in the shape of a heart. Ken also made Giggy a little pink chair with a cushion and umbrella. Giggy looks adorable sitting in his chair.
While Ken is pushing Lisa on the swing, she says she thought when the kids left, they might start swinging, but she didn’t know it would be that kind of swinging. Ken tells Lisa he thinks they should do something special on their 30th wedding anniversary like renew their vows. Lisa wants to know if they have to do that consummation thing again and Ken tells her of course.
OK, now to the good stuff. Kyle gets into a limo to pick up Marisa to have dinner at a Moroccan restaurant. Kyle says she feels embarrassed about her dinner party and she wants Marisa to see another side of the girls. She calls Kim to remind her that they will be sitting on the floor to eat. Kim asks her if she’s wearing pants and Kyle tells her she’s wearing a long dress because she didn’t think she’d be comfortable in pants. Kyle says each time she invites Kim to dinner, she either afraid she’s not going to show up or they will fight. She also calls Lisa to tell her they will be sitting on the floor so she needs to wear a really short skirt and skip the underwear. Lisa says something like she won’t do a Camille or Brandi or something to that effect. She informs Lisa that Adrienne and Paul are in New York and that obviously it would have been uncomfortable with Brandi there anyway.
Kyle picks up Marisa who, by the way, lives in a pretty modest house by Beverly Hills standards. Marisa has never met Kim before and Kyle didn’t realize they’ve never met. They discuss the Kim/Kyle relationship (again). At the restaurant, they are in a private room. Looks like they won’t be sitting on the floor after all. Kyle and Marisa set out place cards for everyone. Brandi arrives first. They all kissy kissy and tell each other how pretty they are. When Brandi sees the name Paul on one of the place cards, Marisa says that’s her brother Paul, not Adrienne’s Paul.
Brandi is relieved and tells Kyle and Marisa she had to get a lawyer that day because Adrienne and Paul are suing her. In her TH, Brandi explains that Adrienne has hired a lawyer who is “threatening” to sue her if she doesn’t go to a meeting and sign a paper saying she will never talk about her and her family ever again. Whether she’s suing her or threatening to sue her, Brandi had to hire a lawyer. Brandi tells Marisa and Kyle she doesn’t know what she can do to move forward except to apologize. Kyle tells Brandi she probably doesn’t feel very inspired to call and apologize now. Ya think, Kyle? Brandi tells them they want her to go to a meeting that Friday and if she doesn’t go, she’ll be served with papers, so Brandi has hired a lawyer and is understandably very nervous. Plus she’s going to have lawyer bills to pay now.
Lisa and Ken arrive next, followed by Yolanda, Camille, Taylor and last, but not least, Kim. Next in comes Maury and Dean (Marisa’s husband) and Marisa’s brother Paul. Yolanda asks Kim how her week went and tells her she looks great. Kyle tells Kim she was at Yolanda’s to do the master cleanse. Kim doesn’t recall when she was ever supposed to go to Yolanda’s house. Kim tells her she can’t do the master cleanse, just because. She’s supposed to eat for her metabolism. Kyle keeps asking why, but Yolanda seems not to push the issue with Kim. A belly dancer shows up and starts dancing with Kim. Of course Kyle starts her hair twirling thing, but lucky for us, doesn’t do the splits. Camille has that sexy dancing thing down to a tee.
Let’s set up this next scene cause it’s a doozy. The seating arrangement is this. Paul, Marisa, Dean, Brandi, Taylor and Camille are sitting on one side. Maury, Kyle, Kim, Yolanda, Lisa and Ken are sitting on the other side. Brandi asks Marisa to work out with her the next day. Camille and Taylor are having their own conversation. Kim tells Kyle she just wants to make things in her life better and Kyle agrees with her. Kim tells Kyle life is too short to hold grudges and they are both guilty and they both need to work on it. She tells Kyle she’s truly sorry. In her TH Kyle says she’s been waiting for so many years for an apology from Kim for how she’s hurt her and her family with her drinking, but her apology doesn’t mean anything if she doesn’t stay sober. What has that got to do with anything? Kim is sober now so accept her apology. Kim tells Kyle she was supportive during rehab, but since she’s been home Kyle’s been really cold. Kyle admits she has been cold because she’s been hurt. Kim seems to be making more of an effort here than Kyle.
Some food comes and Yolanda doesn’t seem to think there is much Arabic culture going on right now. Kyle says she can’t eat food with her fingers. Someone asks Yolanda where David is and she tells them he’s rehearsing with Barbra Streisand at the house. Kyle tells a story about when she and Kim were in a movie with Barbra’s husband, James Brolin, and how handsome she thought he was. I guess this is supposed to impress Yolanda, who I’m sure is (not).
Taylor announces that she’s ready to date and for them to get out there and find her a Ken, or a Leeza. I think Taylor is a little buzzed. Shut it, Taylor. We all know you’re banging your married lawyer. Taylor puts on her little pitiful face and says she feels like she would be cheating if she started dating. Awwwwwww. Camille comforts Taylor and says she can’t feel guilty for what Russell did, that was his choice. Taylor says Russell has lied to everyone in his life and she’s fought all his battles for all his lies. Such much of Taylor’s life has been a lie that she’s ready for a new life. Brandi turns away at this point and Taylor and Camille hug when Taylor says she settled her lawsuit.
Brandi notices Yolanda and Kyle are talking about Adrienne suing Brandi. Yolanda wants to know why Adrienne is suing Brandi and Kyle says she thinks it’s to intimidate her. Of course it is, because Brandi has nothing of material value that Adrienne wants. Yolanda tells Lisa if you can’t handle a discussion, that’s when you call a lawyer and tells Lisa she would never ever do that. Lisa tells Yolanda Brandi had to spend $2,000 already that day. Yolanda tells Lisa that if you have the balls to say something stupid, you should also have the balls to pick up the phone and say hey, I effed up, let’s talk it out. Meanwhile Maury is giving Brandi the evil eye. I mean, if you recorded this, go back and stop the recording right after Yolanda says that. If looks could kill.
Brandi says (for the umpteenth time) she shouldn’t have said it and she understands that and Maury says it didn’t need to be said. Brandi says of course, you’re right and Maury says that’s the reality. Brandi says she doesn’t know how many times she has to tell people that if she’s going to say sorry to anyone, it will be to Adrienne, but she hasn’t had a chance and now she’s being sued.
Kyle then tells Maury she doesn’t want a fight so she’s not going get involved with this. How many times have we heard Kyle say that this season? At least three if not more. And yet she seems to be right in the middle of all the major fights so far. Brandi says she’s heard from every person there she shouldn’t have said it and Maury tells her “except for me.” Oh, I didn’t know she needed to hear it from him personally. I guess his opinion carries more weight than the others. So Kyle, who doesn’t want to get involved, pipes up and says she knows it’s a sensitive subject and Brandi has admitted she was wrong so that’s why people think she should pick up the phone and apologize to Adrienne. Brandi said she tried to call Adrienne and then got the letter from Adrienne’s lawyer.
Maury tells Brandi she can still call Adrienne even if she’s gotten an attorney’s letter. He says he’s received attorney’s letters, but picked up the phone and made a call and the attorney’s letter went away in two seconds. He tells her that’s a reality and she can make her own choices.
Lisa tells everyone to hold on a second and wasn’t it Adrienne who said over and over that friends don’t sue friends? That’s when Taylor puts her two cents in that it was such a big deal when she and Russell were talking lawsuit, but now that it’s Adrienne, it’s a whole new ballgame. Maury tells Taylor (I believe) she had no choice. Kim pipes in and says Taylor did have a choice, she could have walked away. Taylor asks Kim what she meant by that and Kim tells her nothing. Taylor tells Kim she’s always supported her so not to go there. Didn’t Taylor cause some shit to go down between Kim and Kyle the first season or is my memory messed up? Yolanda asks Taylor why she’s getting so aggressive with Kim. I don’t see where Taylor is out of line with Kim myself. Kim just put something “out there” and then clammed up. These women are such hypocrites.
At this point Brandi says she just wants to get out of there and Taylor tells her not to leave; to stay and stand up for herself. Yolanda tells Brandi to call Adrienne up and even if she doesn’t answer the first time, keep trying. Maury thinks it’s stupid they are even talking about it, that’s the reality. That’s the third time Maury has said “that’s the reality.” That’s his new catchphrase. Kyle’s is “I don’t want to get involved.” Taylor tells Brandi she’s not going to cry anymore and she’s not going to walk away. She’s a different person now. Taylor and Camille tell Brandi to be strong even though the three of them don’t have emotional support (significant others). Dean says something to Brandi, but I can’t hear what he says to her.
On the other side of the room, Maury is saying in a very loud voice “Why did she say it?” Ken says he doesn’t know why she said it; it doesn’t matter why she said it, she said it. Maury says of course it matters why she said it. Ken asks why? Maury says what do you mean why, because you’re either a gossiper or not a gossiper. Kyle has her hands on the side of her head because she knows she herself is a gossiper and she can’t believe her husband is starting this shit. Ken says that’s bullshit, she said it in conversation. Maury says “to be nice.” Ken says it doesn’t matter why she said it. It’s the truth, she said it. Lisa leans over to Ken and says, “Well you can’t say it’s the truth ‘cause you’ll get sued as well. We both know”
Maury asks Brandi if she said it to be nice and she says no. Ken says Brandi said she was wrong. I don’t know what Maury wants here. Everyone, including Brandi, is admitting that what Brandi said was wrong. Brandi tells Maury he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. Maury angrily tells Brandi to pick up the phone because she hasn’t even tried. Brandi tells him she has tried. Maury says “really?” Brandi says yes. Ken tells Maury when you’re being sued by someone, maybe you don’t want to pick up the phone because your lawyer says “don’t pick up the phone.” I can’t believe what I hear next. Maury says, “You don’t have to listen to your attorney.” What? Did he really say that? I thought Maury was smart. Guess I was wrong about that. He then says “have common sense.” To me, common sense is to do what you lawyer, who you are paying big bucks to, says.
Yolanda thinks it’s so strange for two men to yell over a woman’s issue and they should go have a beer somewhere. I don’t see it that way. If someone was talking to Kyle the way Maury was talking to Brandi, do you not think Maury would go apeshit? Well, Brandi didn’t have anyone there to take up for her so Ken decided to step in. Ken asks Maury what is Brandi supposed to do. She’s divorced, on her own and she’s being sued. Maury is still insisting that Brandi pick up the phone and apologize because that’s what everyone is telling her to do. Brandi says Adrienne has never apologized to her for what she did. Maury say about what. Brandi says there is a plethora of things. Maury says she should still pick up the phone because she started it all.
Kim has to put her two cents in by saying it’s not the first time Brandi has done this. She has said things about Kim that were untrue. Brandi says it wasn’t untrue, but incorrect. Brandi accused Kim of taking meth and Kim said she never did that. Brandi said Kim did have a problem and she was attacking her before that. Kim tells Brandi her point is she just should not throw things out about people. Brandi raises her hands in the air and says “Dude, Adrienne started it with me, I didn’t start it with Adrienne. Period.” Kim tells Brandi hopefully we learn from these things. All of a sudden Kim has become a life coach for Brandi.
Lisa wants to know where everybody was when Adrienne accused her of selling stories. How come nobody jumped to her defense and stayed quiet about it?
So Maury makes even more of an ass of himself by saying “Wait a minute. Who gives a shit about selling stories? Do you really give a shit about that?” Kyle leans over to try to get Maury to shut up. Lisa says she certainly cares if someone questions her integrity.
Brandi tells them to stop, she did say that, she did say it. Maury says, “And you know what?” Brandi tells Maury she was pissed when she said it, and he can go f*ck himself. It’s about her kids, it’s about her life, seriously. Maury says right, and you deserve all of that. She tells him to STFU. Dean says, “Who’s ready for desert?”
Vanderpump Rules by Jenifer Freeman
The second episode of Vanderpump Rules opens with Stassi cleaning glasses with Katie commiserating over her negative checkbook balance. Since her parents supplied her with ample funds while she was in college, she was cut off after graduation. And it’s this – not the yearning for higher education – that is her reason for wanting to attend grad school. The conversation then turns to her relationship with Jax, who we find out rarely comes home at night, and the tension that is obvious between them. Stassi then confronts Jax as to why he left her sleeping in the apartment and left for work, where they were both working the same shift, rather than waking her and giving her a ride. Jax is flippantly apologetic, but Lisa overhears the interaction and then reminds Jax that her allegiance is to Stassi, who’s been an employee for years and got him the job. He’s warned that relationship drama occurring in the workplace will get him the boot. As Lisa walks away we see a cutaway shot of Jax looking like he could strangle his beloved Stassi.
Scheana then treats her mom to a belated Mother’s Day tattoo, where she relates some of the conversation she’d had with Stassi, who Mom accurately surmises is insecure. Scheana agrees, yet compliments Stassi by saying that she’s gorgeous and has no reason to be not be more confident.
Stassi and Jax share a lunch when Stassi pointedly asks him where he slept last night. He responds with, “Where do you think?” Stassi says it wasn’t at his friends since she’d already questioned them first. He then gives a less than credible explanation that he’d slept in his truck outside their own apartment because he had to get up early anyways. Stassi quips he could have used his little key and unlocked the door and crawled into his own bed, but he says that he wanted to avoid her “wrath.” Stassi then reminds him of their conversations of marriage and wonders what she could have been thinking. She laments that she deserves so much better than a 33 year old who still wants to party and have guy nights. She almost sounds like she’s about to dump the loser but just admonishes him for his frat-boy behavior and tells him to grow up. He simply says okay – either because she has a point and he knows she’s right or because he wants to avoid the argument and lacks a backbone.
In the next quick scene, we see the Sur staff preparing for their ultra-pink float in the Gay Pride parade.
Soon after, we see Jax at a modeling gig, where he boasts his resume and reports that vicious Stassi had emailed a client canceling a job he had simply because she couldn’t go. Tom dishes about what a chic magnet Jax was back in the pre-Stassi days with his rotating door of girls every night. Tom and Jax then have a conversation about Jax’s need to become more responsible since Stassi said so. He reasons that modeling was cool at 21 but is getting a little embarrassing, although it’s doubtful he’ll be able to support Stassi on a bartender’s pay given her standards of living.
We then see the staff at the parade, where Lisa is forced to babysit the toddlers. She makes them pour out the booze and orders no drinking for the day. She advises Stassi to steer clear of Jax, and we then get to hear more of Stassi complaining to the girls about how she’s 23 and shouldn’t have to put up with a 33 year old boy who can’t get his stuff together – for about the third or fourth time this episode.
Later Stassi watches a shirtless Jax getting sunblock rubbed on by Scheana. Stassi immediately assumes Scheana is being a skank and moving in on her man. She orders one of the girls to go “talk some sense into him,” so both Katie and Kristen march down the moving float to go harass Scheana. The chaos is thankfully broken up by Lisa, but the scene continues later at the restaurant. Lisa confronts Stassi about leaving the drama at home, and Stassi responds that she is really trying to and will in the future, but when she orders a drink at the bar, Jax pulls her outside to “squash it.” Stassi starts the water works complaining he is so mean, and Jax defends the innocent encounter and tells her to not be so insecure. She stomps off leaving him frustrated in the alley.
We get a cute glimpse of Kristen and Tom’s relationship as she drives the license-suspended boy around while he tries to remember the directions. Too short for us to get much info, except that Tom is irresponsible when it comes to opening his mail, and Kristen is nicer than most of her costar’s girlfriends.
Later at Peter the manager’s birthday party, we see the whole crew imbibing a large amount of alcohol. Scheana arrives with boyfriend in tow and tells Stassi she’d like to talk to her later. Stassi says okay, but then talks trash with her groupies about the homewrecker. Stassi blames Scheana for humiliating her and ruining the day rather than accepting any responsibility for her behavior. Scheana bravely approaches and asks to have a word with Stassi. She begins with an apology, but Stassi cuts her off. Although Stassi definitely has her attitude on, they seem to begin to communicate somewhat.
Bravo cuts to Jax slamming seven shots back to back, and then slowly making his way over to Stassi. With his slur beginning to show, Stassi begins the breakup talk but Jax says that they have too much to throw it all away. He feels he’s a good boyfriend, but Stassi says he is only 70% of the time, and she wants a good boyfriend all of the time. She says he needs to see what life is like without her. They take the breakup to the parking lot. She again tells him to grow up, he wants to drive her home, he begs her not to give up on them, she tells him to get his own place, and again, grow up. He says okay, but the episode ends with clips of next week’s scenes of Stassi torn between two guys, kissing some guy in a club, Jax telling her she will always be his girl, her saying she doesn’t know what she wants, and him saying “Let’s go home.” Needless to say, there was definitely plenty of drama, but it left me hoping Bravo has more in store for this series than the juvenile boy/girl tug of war we all got in high school.
Watch What Happens Live by BB
Guests: Kim Richards and Tom Arnold
Bartender: I have no clue who it is; some guy named Zack Martins.
Kim is wearing a silver top and black pants with sparkly earrings and necklace. Kim has a little too much blush on. Tom is wearing a blue shirt with a jacket that’s too small. Kim doesn’t even remember her last appearance on WWHL. Nobody is drinking alcohol, even Andy.
(NMD – Kim and Andy had an interesting exchange where he said technically this wasn’t her first visit to the set of WWHL and she said she remembered sitting down last time but not leaving – insinuating she was drunk. Does anyone remember a previous visit – maybe the time he had all of the housewives on? Andy also introduced Tom and said he was starting a new show, and Tom jumped in and said his show was in its third season – Redneck Vacation? Andy should know more about his guests and what they are promoting, that was a big mistake.)
Last night they never got to the poll results of whether Kenya is Gone With the Wind fabulous. 79% of the voters said no. No surprise there.
Tom says it’s kind of redneck that Scheana got a tattoo with her mom and he likes that since he’s on a show about redneck vacations on CMT.
Tom is a friend of Maury and thinks what he did on tonight’s episode of RHOBH was good. Breathing L.A. air must make people think differently from the rest of us.
They talk about Kim on the high dive show. Yawn. Tom is laughing his head off watching Kim jump straight in. Andy questions whether that’s even a dive. Kim calls it a pencil dive. I don’t think so, Kim.
Tonight’s poll question is “Whose side are you on; Brandi or Adrienne?” This should be a no brainer. Tom Arnold wants to know if it was true what Brandi said. Kim tells Tom that’s not the point, Brandi shouldn’t have said it. I guess it must have been true since Kim didn’t say it was a lie.
Tom is a recovering alcoholic and tells Kim to look at videos of herself when she was an alcoholic on the show, and it will remind her to stay sober.
Caller asks Kim if she thinks Kyle has changed from last season to this season. Right now they are good but the show has changed both of them.
They play a game called name that show. They show Kim on Dukes of Hazzard, An After School Special, Chips, and Tough Turf.
Plead the fifth, Tom Arnold. What does he miss most about Roseanne? Working on the show with her. Who is the most overrated comedian of all time? Plead the fifth. What famous person would we be surprised Tom’s hooked up with? I didn’t hear his answer.
Poll Results: 76% are on Brandi’s side. Makes me wonder who the 24% were who voted for Adrienne.
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Tuesday Night Lineup, January 15th by BB
8PM – NCIS (CBS); Hart of Dixie (CW); Betty White’s Off Their Rockers (NBC); Raising Hope/Ben and Kate (Fox); Pioneers of Television (PBS); Pretty Little Liars (Family); Totally T-Boz (TLC); Dual Survival (Discovery); Dateline on ID (ID); Holmes Inspection (DIY); The Bad Girls Club Atlanta (Oxygen)
9PM – Dance Moms (Lifetime); NCIS LA (CBS); Emily Owens (MD); Go On/New Normal (NBC); Happy Endings/Don’t Trust the B (ABC); New Girl/Mindy Project (Fox); Abolitionists: American Experience (PBS); The Lying Game (Family); Storage Wars Texas (A&E); Dual Survival (Discovery); Face Off (SyFy); Hardcore Pawn (truTV); Ultimate Guide to the Presidents (History); Doomsday Preppers (NatGeo); Nightmare Next Door (ID); I Hate My Bath (DIY); Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love (Oxygen); Tia and Tamera (Style)
10PM – Vegas (CBS); America’s Supernanny (Lifetime); Parenthood (NBC); Private Practice (ABC); Frontline (PBS); Justified (FX); Snooki & JWOWW (MTV); House Hunters (HGTV); Storage Wars New York (A&E); Africa (Discovery); Total Blackout (10:30 SyFy); Cougar Town (TBS); The Joe Schmo Show (Spike); In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman (OWN); Chopped Champions Part 1 (Food); Diggers (NatGeo); Redrum (ID)
11PM – WWHL: Robin Thicke and Sarah Paulson