Holy Crapballs – How Much Plastic Surgery has Adrienne Maloof Had? and Other Gossip by NoMoreDrama
Let’s start with Ms. Adrienne Maloof. Turns out she’s barely recognizable from her high school days, and not in a good way. In hindsight, this isn’t that unexpected. Just take a good look at her brothers.
Star Magazine has managed to dig up a photo of Adrienne from high school. Wowza she’s had a lot of work done. Unrecognizable – except that the old Adrienne looks a whole lot more like her family.
Meanwhile Sarcasm.net has some photos of the New Face of Vicki Gunvalson from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Apparently Vicki had a nose job, chin implant, and lots of botox in the off season. You can see the photos here.
Over on the other side of the continent – Ramona Singer proves that it’s a small world after all, tweeting this last night: “Having a great dinner in nyc
@thegeneral and can u believe Aviva is a table away ?!?” Or is it? Are they filming??
And Brandi Glanville‘s book Drinking and Tweeting is on the New York Times best seller’s list for the third week in a row – still first for e-books, and seventh overall for print/e-books. That has got to help pay some of her bills.
Real Housewives of Atlanta by RamonaCoaster
So the ladies are in Los Angeles ready to board a bus to Vegas. Kenya and Cynthia chat about the events the night before and how the ladies were talking about Walter. Kenya doesn’t mind talking to Cynthia about something personal but has a problem with Porsha and the lawyer. They mock the lawyer acting all sweet to Kenya wondering what is up with that. Kenya’s Dr. put her on strict orders to cut out the stress in her life. Kenya puts on lotion so she can’t be accused of being ashy.
Nene is taking a first class flight to Vegas instead of going on the bus because she has arrived and has a prior work commitment to fulfill that morning. Kenya proposes another improv game in which they pick a card with someone’s name on it and you have to imitate that person. Cynthia talks about how hungry she is and everyone knows it is Kandi. The lawyer does the Miss USA twirl and wonders in her TH how many personalities Kenya has. Kenya thinks the lawyer in order to impersonate a beauty queen should have beauty. They talk about going to the Crazy Horse when they arrive in Vegas and Porsha asks if it’s a strip club. Already Porsha is complaining she is not going to a strip club. The lawyer has no problem with people wanting to be nude and finding lost souls. She can search for her new clientele there. Kenya starts wanting people to do stand up comedy. Kandi obliges her and starts talking about orgasms and farting in your man’s face. I guess that story is entertaining for people that appreciate fart stories. They get off the bus into a minimart and the bus leaves them. The bus driver comes back to tell them his credit card only takes certain stations.
Nene arrives in Vegas before them because they are stuck in traffic. Nene has a nice view of the Eiffel Tower from her room and she’s complaining about always waiting for the ladies.
Porsha at the Mini-mart got pickles and ice cream. The lawyer thinks she should pee on a rabbit and if the rabbit dies, you are pregnant. Kenya asks why she wants to kill a rabbit which gets the lawyer all defensive and everyone wants to get off the bus. They finally get to Vegas and get dressed up to go back into a limo. Porsha thinks they are going to a burlesque show and when someone mentions strip club she does not want to go because Kordell would not be ok with that. Nene thinks Porsha is being controlled by her husband and thinks she is a good judge of a situation.
Nene in her TH thinks Porsha shouldn’t be on a girls’ trip if she isn’t one of the girls and if Kordell wants to be a part of a girls’ trip, he can put a wig on. Other than that Nene doesn’t want to hear about what Kordell wants. Kandi mentions what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas. Nene states she worked at a strip club for years and she is getting annoyed. The lawyer thinks Porsha is a fool for thinking the Crazy Horse is a burlesque show. Porsha says goodbye when they arrive at the strip club. Nene thinks a woman should be able to make decisions for herself without involving her husband. Kandi thinks Porsha should go and doesn’t have to tip the chicks if she doesn’t want to. The lawyer compliments one of the strippers on how well she shaves herself and Nene thinks she is “about to take a bite out of Hello Kitty.” I laughed out loud when I heard that. Kenya is sticking the dollars right into the stripper’s boobs. Nene talks about hating the strip club sometimes. She invited Gregg to the strip club as a way of telling him she worked there. Now that’s honesty for you. When Nene and Gregg got married she had some strippers as her bridesmaids. Nene feels for Porsha being with a successful man and losing herself in her husband’s life and his dreams. Kandi doesn’t relate to Porsha’s life. Kenya thinks if you are not living your dream you die a little every day. Definitely these ladies are not afraid to go after their dreams. I think Porsha just uses Kordell as an excuse. I don’t think it was Kordell’s dream for his wife to become a Real Housewife of Atlanta.
The next day Porsha is getting her makeup done and calling Kordell. Kordell tells her not to feel pressured to do something she doesn’t want to do. Cynthia thinks if Porsha had Kordell’s blessing to go to a strip club she would have been there. The lawyer and Nene comes in after Porsha leaves and they talk about how Porsha made up Kordell as an excuse not to go to the strip club.
Nene got a backstage pass for the Jubilee show girls so they are on their way. Nene wants to know the real reason why Porsha did not want to go to the strip club. Porsha starts saying she is a Christian and the lawyer cuts her off saying Christ was a carpenter who hung out with prostitutes and whores and just because you sit in a pew every Sunday that does not make you a Christian. Nene thinks Porsha’s husband is controlling but Porsha thinks he is just being traditional. Porsha is proud that Kordell let her go on the girls’ trip. The lawyer thinks everyone can’t be a lawyer or a doctor but the world does need a few dummies. Sounds like the lawyer is getting fed up with the dummy.
Porsha is in the bathroom while everyone is discussing her marriage. Kenya wants everyone to have fun and not judge. Kenya points out in her TH that Porsha gets to shop and gossip – it’s a win-win.
They meet the girls and they get dressed up as show girls to do their routines. Kenya does a little show and not realizing she was showing the girls that came out of her strapless top. Then they stop by a jewelry store and a ring catches Kandi’s eye where she promptly takes a picture of it to send to Todd. Kandi is beginning to like the idea of marriage more and more since she has been with Todd.
Then they go to a restaurant where Cynthia rides a bull without wearing panties. Everyone was impressed and Peter must be one happy man.
They go back to hotel and they all get goodie bags filled with Kandi Koated Nights stuff. They are all dressed in their nighties when Kandi whips out Kegel balls and how they work to strengthen the muscles for good orgasms. I think it is good for women post-pregnancy. Kandi wants to help Kordell become a father. She put a pregnancy test in her goodie bag. Porsha wants to take the test with Kordell. Kandi passes a strawberry around as a game to see who has the sexiest bite. Porsha of course is nervous about this. When it was Kenya’s turn to bite the strawberry, the lawyer remarks “some one might like it but it doesn’t look like Walter did.” Kenya did not like it one bit. Then the next game is to put a question into a bowl where one person picks, reads and tries to answer it. One of the questions was “What do you do when someone you thought was your friend, hurts you and then pretends it never happened.” It was Kenya’s question and she wanted the lawyer to answer it. The lawyer, in classic lawyer fashion, turns it around and says you say you got hurt but you hurt me. She brings up Kenya coming to a party trying to impersonate her and being very childish. Kenya fires back that she was talking about her having a mental illness. Making personal attacks on her was far worse. The lawyer asks if she needs an apology and Kenya says her apology doesn’t mean anything. Nene says Kenya finally sees the lawyer for who she is and they can go back to being fake with each other again.
The Amazing Race – March 10, 2013 – by MelTheHound
- Idries and Jamil Abdur-Rahman Eliminated in leg 2
- Max and Katie Bichler are newlyweds from Buffalo, N.Y. It’s wrong to judge a book by it’s cover, I know that but I’m looking at this guy and already I’m thinking douche bag. Hopefully, I’m wrong.
- Mona Egender and Beth Bandimere (Derby Moms) are mothers from Colorado. They are also roller derby teammates. I tend to like the Roller Derby Queens.
- Bates and Anthony Battaglia (Hockey Brothers) are brothers from Raleigh, N.C. The brothers are professional hockey players.
- Chuck and Wynona McCall (Alabama) are a married couple from Daphne, Ala. Chuck is a taxidermist and his wife is a hairstylist. Here is a couple who look exactly like who they are to me. I saw her and the first two words out of my mouth were Wynona Judd.
- David and Connor O’Leary (Utah) are a father and son team from Salt Lake City. Both are cancer survivors.
- Caroline Cutbirth and Jennifer Kuhle are friends and (Country Singers) in a band. Caroline is a direct descendant of Daniel Boone and Jennifer is the granddaughter of John Wayne. Never heard of either of these ladies.
- Joey Graceffa and Meghan Camarena (YouTubers) are friends from Los Angeles. They list their occupation as YouTube hosts. Dude, wash the shit out of your hair and drag a comb through it.
- Pamela Chien and Winnie Sung (Besties) are best friends from Los Angeles.
- Jessica Hoel and John Erck (Surfers) are a dating couple from Huntington Beach, Calif. Aren’t they cute.. Does this dating couple (on TAR) ever end well for these people?
You can read more about them here… There you have it my friends. The cast that will or won’t entertain us for the next couple months. Each of those cast member links should take you to the CBS website where the photos are hosted.
Welcome back race fans. It’s been a couple weeks since we have seen each other on this subject. My apologies for that, I was out of town last weekend and just haven’t been able to get a clean watch of last week’s episode. What I can tell you about it is, that it was a double leg race. Hockey brothers had won the prior leg and Utah Dad tore his Achilles tendon trying to beat them. He had seen a doc who told him that a specialist has to look at it but it appeared he was out of the race. What little of last week’s episode I did see, Surfers gave up the express pass to Utah as agreed. Miracle of miracles, after using the express pass, which may have turned out to be a waste of it, they actually came in first on the leg. Not so fast boys, On the mat, Phil hands them another clue and tells them that the race continues from there. No rest for the weary. Let’s get to this week, shall we?
We pick up this week where it left off last week, in Christchurch New Zealand with Phil handing Utah their next clue. They are to fly 4000 miles to Bali and get to the Monkey forest where a ‘monkey’ will reveal their next clue. Surfers arrive and leave 2nd. Hockey brothers arrive 3rd and besties arrive 4th. They are followed by (in order) YouTube, Country singers, Derby moms, Newlyweds, and, dead last Chuck and Wynona (Alabama). Non elimination round. I’m thinking in this case, just because of that, that express pass may have been wasted. Newlyweds find a guy to let them use a phone to call the travel agent to reserve some seats BUT, they must get to the agency to pick up the tickets. The others are also going about their way to get their tickets, the fastest plain to Bali lands at 8:30am local time.
Apparently one cannot just go to the airport and get tickets. WTF? They have to be purchased via a travel agent. Really? The teams are all scrambling to get their tickets, a couple sets of teams have paired up it appears. In the end, the first 4 teams to arrive at the last pit stop are on the first flight which will land at 8:30 with a connection in Perth Australia. Hockey, Derby moms, and Alabama are on a second flight connecting through Kuala Lumpor and will arrive at 12:05. Surfers and YouTube are on a third flight connecting in Singapore also arriving at 12:05 in Bali. That third flight lands in Singapore and Surfers and Youtube get a faster flight out of there to Bali (probably less wait time) and should get there at 10:30 or something like that.
The first flight arrives in Bali and the race is on between the 4 teams on that flight (Utah, Newlyweds, Country, and Besties).. They are to get to the sacred monkey forest and find a coconut to hand to a monkey who will then reveal their next clue. Okay.. Apparently someone forgot to tell the monkeys what their job was. What the racers are supposed to do is grab a coconut out of a cage and put it somewhere on the ground hoping a monkey opens it. The first one who is successful at getting a clue from a monkey is Utah.
The clue is a detour. Sandy Bottom or Fruity Top. Sandy bottom requires them to collect sand from the bottom of the river and carry it, up hill, 200 yards, to the brick maker. They have to fill a container (large bucket) to the designated line to get their next clue. That likely means several trips and this is wet sand. Fruity Top, they will build a religious offering to be carried to a temple and blessed by the local priest. Once the offering is placed, they get their clue.
Utah decides to do Fruity Top (probably a wise choice). Meanwhile back with the monkeys, the creatures are taking their good old time. Playing with their coconuts, scratching their butts, etc. So are the monkeys. Newlyweds are next to get the clue and they too decide to do Fruity Top. I wonder how many are going to sign up to haul sand uphill. Any bets? Besties are next followed by Country singers. They all do the fruity top challenge. One of the besties (I think Winnie) is a set designer or was, so she knows how to pay attention to details while studying the model they have to follow. I hope that works out better than their map reading skills. Why David, on crutches, is gathering the fruit for this task is beyond me but he is. The 4 teams begin putting their fruit sculpture together. Meanwhile, the second plane lands with the Surfers and the YouTubers. I don’t like any of these people to tell the truth with the possible exception of Jessica. Joey is talking baby talk to the monkey trying to coax him to peel the coconut and the monkey looks at him with the same stfu look on his face that I have right now.. About this time, we see the third plane land with the remaining teams. Hockey, Alabama, Derby and they all jump in cabs to go to the monkey park. Odd that into the 4th episode, we haven’t seen anyone get lost yet. Maybe I missed it last week. Surfers and Youtube finally get their clues and both also pick Fruity Top..
Spoke too soon. Derby and Alabama arrive at the monkey park while Hockey is stuck with a clueless cab driver. That, or he’s padding the fare by taking the scenic route. Nope.. He does not have clue of where he’s going. Must be his first day on the job. I thought everybody knew where the monkey forest was. Now Hockey brothers are in last place. Derby and Alabama are pretty lucky and get some monkeys who are all business in getting those coconuts open. At the fruit task, Besties finish first followed by Utah. The offering statue is then carried to a procession where a local woman will carry this heavy object on her head. They will then march it down the street to a temple where the priest will bless it, and them, after which they place the offering in it’s resting place. They then get their clue. Utah finishes this task second after Besties followed by the Newlyweds. As other teams begin to arrive, Country finishes their statue to the satisfaction of the line judge and can proceed.
Surfers are trying to get to the Fruity task and, ummm, okay… Either they don’t know how to give directions or the cabbie doesn’t know how to follow them. Where he drops them, ‘house #2’, we see workmen working on a house but no fruity task. Another misplaced cab driver. Probably on the wrong street. This is after He bragged about how ‘detail oriented’ he is. I love when the edit shows these people bragging about themselves because you know the make an ass of themselves moment is coming next. By the way.. Derby moms, earlier, said that they are good at grunt work. Guess which task they likely chose?
Surfers… ahem… I think they have spent too much time in the salt water… Name of the task kiddos is, Fruity Top.. There is a worker standing there with a complete WTF look on his face as these two people begin to build a (very small) religious offering.. You saw above what this should look like. These two asshats begin to take a collection of what looks like nuts, berries, and hard candy and stack it on a leaf. Then they remember that they are supposed to be wearing Sarongs while doing this. He, while they are ‘building’ this thing, it’s about the essence of the offering. Now the only smart thing either of them said was look for the red and yellow. Do you think they found any red and yellow at this place? So after they get a couple sarongs, they find someone who speaks English. Jonathan asks him to ask the others if they have seen any other people that ‘look like us’.. Of course the answer is no so for a split second this idiot thinks he is in first place (but knows that isn’t possible).. Our braintrust of surfer people then learn they are in the wrong place. In all fairness to the cabbie, he got them to the right location apparently it is the racers that chose the wrong address. They finally get to the right place at about the same time YouTube does. I wonder where they’ve been all this time?
I wonder if Hockey ever got to the monkey park? Yes, finally they did. They offer their coconut to one of the monkeys and he takes off up a tree. I’m sorry folks but this task of the leg is a total clusterphuck. What if the monkeys aren’t hungry? These people could be waiting all day. Meanwhile, Derby moms have chosen the Sandy Bottom task. I think as soon as they saw what was going on, they should have gone to the other one. Let’s see how this works out for them. Surfers, he is talking about how this fruity task suits him because he’s anal retentive, as the local women are laughing their asses off at him. Youtube is good at looking at pictures and recreating them. Alabama shows up and are happy to at least see other people there indicating they may not be dead last. Hockey finally gets their clue and chooses Sandy Bottom as well. But wait… They ask their cab driver if he knows where that location is.. He says no. He does know however where the Fruity Top location is (yeah, Sure) so they switch tasks. Got all that?
Back when the other 4 teams finished the task, they were sent to a beach to get their next clue. That clue is a roadblock. The member doing the roadblock has to go to a surf shop and find a surfboard with a familiar image on it. That image is of the first priest that blessed them at the wedding chapel at the beginning of the race. Once they find the board, they have to find their team mate and check in at the pit stop With the proper surfboard. Besties arrive first and Winnie does the task. She first has to find the surf shop. Utah is in there next and Conner does the task. Winnie finds what she thinks the right one is (She does know what she’s looking for) but I think she grabbed the wrong one. If that’s the case, they will have to go back and try again. I do believe Conner found the right one (there are probably enough for all teams to do the task).
Over at the river, Derby moms are loaded up with sand (they have to scoop it from the river bed and pour it into their baskets). Then they discover how hard this task really is as they climb those stairs to the brick mason. At least one more trip is required for them. At the Fruity top challenge, Surfer John wasn’t anal retentive enough because he’s put the offering together incorrectly. Looks fine to me but I’m not there looking at it. YouTube appears to be doing a good job and I’m guessing they will get out of there first. Hockey brothers finally arrive so it looks like they may be back in the race.
At the surf shop, I’m wrong, Conner has not found the board or doesn’t know he has. I really can’t tell because he’s still searching. Winnie is looking for Phil with her board (she needs her partner too) and runs back past the shop where she asks Conner if he has seen Phil. He asks her what he’s looking for and she offers to show him if he guarantees that Besties will hit the mat first. He says know, she says screw you and runs off. Not before he gets a peak at the image on her board though. What if they are both wrong now? Winnie runs down to the beach, Newlyweds have arrived, Conner goes back to his dad and the two of them make their way to the mat. Turns out it’s the right image, and Utah wins the leg of the race. First place. They win $5000 each and are definitely (for now) still in the race. Newlyweds take Third and Country has arrived at the beach.
Meanwhile……… Back at the fruit stand, Trouble in surfer paradise. The bickering about how to proceed has begun as Youtube gets the go ahead. Chuck, the taxidermist is good at assembling things like this and the hockey brothers look like they may have a shot at second to last. Surfers (remember Mr Anal Retentive detail man), have decided to switch detours instead of using their express pass. What’s the matter Johnny boy? Too much detail? I think you have too much product keeping your hair up in the air and it has seeped into your brain. I’m not even going into anymore of his rambling tripe, Jessica is the smart one of the pair so if she has something to say, I’ll let you in on what it was. Over at the task, Alabama finishes and are on their way. At the Beach, whichever country girl was doing the roadblock, picks the wrong surf board. They’ve all encountered Bali she says so that’s the image she picks. Okay.. Surfers decide to choose what to do based on how far along the Derby moms are. At that time, they are shown finishing the task. Alabama finishes the Fruit task and are on their way to the beach.
Country tries to check in with their Bali board and Phil says no dice, go back and try again. I don’t know which is which yet so, the one not doing the task note the difference between Seen, and what the clue really says, encountered. Well, they’ve all Seen Surfers so she grabs another wrong board. I think she may schlep every board there back to Phil before she gets the right one. YouTube is taken to the wrong beach. Derby moms are complaining that this is probably the longest leg in the history of the race (4 days now). Alabama is happily delivered to the proper beach, they just want to knock out the hockey brothers. Caroline (I think) is having a breakdown after being turned back twice.
Youtube is running up the hill to get to the right beach (probably could have run Along the beach) and Alabama passes them in the cab. Caroline (again, I think), just grabs a board with ‘some guy’ on it and low and behold, It’s the right one! Team number 4 to check in. Would have been team number 4 if she had done it right to begin with so at least she got a good workout up and down those stairs (I couldn’t have done it).
When all else fails, read the instructions. Surfers are doing the sand task, it’s hard work but no where near the pain in the ass that fruit sculpture was. Chuck grabs the wrong surfboard but has apparently forgotten that he’s supposed to get his wife on the way to meet Phil so he running all over hell and back looking for Phil. Derby mom grabs a board, I didn’t see which one (it was wrong), YouTube Joey grabs the right one. Joey shows her the right one after they are checked in to 5th place. At least she knows what she’s looking for. Meanwhile, I think Chuck has jogged back to Alabama. Come On guys, You Can Not let the Surfers catch up and beat you. As the others are running around looking for Phil (this is a marked path), Surfers arrive. Mona, now with the right board knows where to go but she’s saying nothing. Chuck sneaks in behind her (I don’t know where he came from) and Hockey brother is just as clueless as Chuck. So now, at least, they’ve all found the proper beach.
Well, Derby moms take 6th place, and as I said earlier, at least Chuck knows where Phil is now because he has the wrong board. Meanwhile, Hockey brother has noticed where Phil is. Lucky shot, I think he just grabbed any old board, and they Hockey Brothers take 7th. So, Now it’s a race between Surfers and Alabama for 8th place. All that mess to get here. Earlier, Surfers said they may use the express pass if this task gets too difficult. It’s getting dark and as of yet, he hasn’t found the surf shop. Mona did not share which picture Chuck was looking for but at least Chuck knows where the finish line is. Guess what Race Fans… Chuck gets it right, they take 8th place leaving Surfers dead last.
Now, I can’t let this pass. It is dark now and Johnny boy comes trotting back to the staging area where all the team mates were waiting. The sun has set and he’s empty handed even though he was at the surf shop. If this is a non elim round, I’m going to shoot Phil in the head. Dumbass surfer dude is arguing with his girlfriend about him wanting to play smart, he’s delusional enough to think there is still another team out there. She corrects him. He finds a board, of course it is the wrong one, Mr Detail, he wants to look at the other boards that are already there, Phil says No. Now surfer boy has a flashlight strapped to his head looking for the right one. He finds it.. Now, I’m not sure exactly what he meant but he doesn’t get how utilizing the express pass would have helped him at this point. I hope it means since they are dead last anyway, might as well finish it right. He finds the board, completes the leg of the race and they are gone. Phil notes that this is probably the only team to get eliminated holding an express pass. Jessica in addition to looking disappointed, looks pissed as Mr Detail is rambling on trying not to look like a complete asshole for having that distinction with the express pass. He has zero regrets because he doesn’t need a million dollars, Jessica feels let down. Phil shrugs and says Oy Vey as they are walking away. I hope Jessica punches Mr Detail in the dick. That has to be THE biggest moron I’ve personally seen on this show. That’s all I’m saying about that asshat from this point forward.
Peace, MTH aka WTFIJeff
Revenge Recap on Empress’s Blog
Monday Night Lineup, March 11th by BB
8PM – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); The Biggest Loser (NBC); The Bachelor (ABC); Rules of Engagement (8:30 CBS); The Carrie Diaries (CW); Bones (Fox); WWE (USA); Switched at Birth (Fam); Fast’NLoud (Disc); Continuum (SyFy); Studio E!/Chasing the Saturdays (E!); Finding Bigfoot (Anpl); Love and Hip Hop (VH1); Are You Tougher than a Boy Scout? (NatGeo)
9PM – The Following (Fox); 90210 (CW); Love It or List It (HGTV); Fast’NLoud (Disc); Being Human (SyFy); American Pickers (Hist); LA Shrinks (Bravo); Bizarre Foods America (Trvl); Dallas (TNT); Black Ink Crew (VH1); Alaska State Troopers (NatGeo); Kitchen Crashers (DIY); Top Gear (BBC)
10PM – Deception (NBC); The Bachelor (ABC); Teen Mom 2 (MTV); House Hunters (HGTV); Undercover Boss Canada (TLC); The Devil’s Ride (Disc); Lost Girl (SyFy); Burning Love/After Lately (E!); Catfishin Kings (Anpl); Lizard Lick Towing (truTV); Pawn Stars (Hist); Vanderpump Rules Lost Footage (Bravo); Hotel Impossible (Trvl); Monday Mornings (TNT); La La’s Full Court Life (VH1); Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food); Inside Combat Rescue (NatGeo); inside out: Bugs (Science); True Crime (ID); Deadly Wives (Bio); Bath Crashers (DIY); Bang Goes the Theory (BBC)
11PM – WWHL (Bravo) Brandi Glanville & Gillian Jacobs