What the Hell is Wrong with the Househusbands of New Jersey?
It’s that time of year for the season’s
brawl party. Time to TOP the table flip, weave pull, Christening brawl, and Stripper-gate, and keep this franchise on top of the housewives food chain. Kim D held a party Saturday night to launch a second store – Posche 2. Chris Laurita and Joey Gorga got into it with Johnny the Greek, according to The Examiner. Johnny has been wooing Melissa Gorga’s ex-boyfriend – Brian “Bulldog” on twitter, and his wife Penny is rumored to have brought the “Brian Storyline” to the show this year. The article says that Johnny made a remark about Chris’s son, Nicholas, a child that has been diagnosed with Autism. Although the fight was short, Johnny was left bloodied and bruised after the mayhem. Johnny denies making any remark about the child, and he has a few choice words to say to Joey and Chris:
Meanwhile, Joe Giudice has said no to yet another plea offer – this time for four year in prison. At some point they should either drop the charges or get on with the trial. I seem to remember typing about Joe saying no to a plea offer months ago. The story is here.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Photos by Boston
Real Housewives of Orange County by Stars99
Warning: The writer of this recap finds it absolutely impossible to write about the RHOC without being totally mean and snarky since there really isn’t anyone in this franchise that has any redeeming qualities. Read at your own risk – although the writer tried hard not to be overly snarky. Recaps will all most likely contain many colorful cuss words and other totally inappropriate concepts for our young readers cuz that’s how they roll in Orange County. Let the snarking begin!
Omg… they’re reminding us about what happened last season… Do we really need to go there? Ugh… okay…Here’s the refresher in case you were able to use bleach on your brain and erase all memory of last season, lucky you: Vicki found out that her daughter Briana had eloped to Vegas with a guy that Vicki said she barely knew… Briana and Ryan found out that they were pregnant which means Vicki is gonna be a grandma…Vicki also dated the creepiest guy on the earth named Brooks whom her daughter and the rest of the human race did not like or trust whatsoever… Last year’s new girl Heather’s big storyline was that she officially changed her last name to her husband’s name and someone ate an icing bow off her cake…yawn… Tamra got the “Simon” tattoo (her ex-husband) removed from her ring finger so Eddie could put a ring on it – so Eddie was kinda forced to propose to her in Bora Bora… The mean girls (Gretchen, Tamra and Heather) don’t like Alexis and ganged up on her while they were on a trip to Costa Rica… Pigs started flying when Gretchen and Tamra became besties… Gretchen wants Slade to get out of debt so she and Tubba Wubba can move forward in their “happily ever after” life together…
This Season’s Opening Tag Lines:
- Tamra – “The best thing about starting over is never looking back.”
- Heather – “Whoever said blondes have more fun hasn’t met me.”
- Vicki – “I’m my own boss and it’s time for a raise.”
- Gretchen – “When the going gets tough – I just get stronger and stronger.”
- Alexis – “I don’t need to prove anything – I know who I am and God does, too.”
Vicki and her assistant are rearranging things in the house in anticipation of the arrival of Vicki’s grandbaby. Everyone else who was living in the house has moved out and Briana and Ryan have moved in with Vicki. Briana is so pregnant she’s ready to pop any minute! Since there are no men around to help, Vicki and her assistant decide to move a honkin’ couch from one room to another. They pause mid-hall to sip on some red wine and then they continue moving the couch. It was such an odd scene. Vicki says she’s all about renovating her house and her body – it’s just tough to determine which has had more work done. Vicki went to the same plastic surgeon as Alexis has used in the past and had some cartilage removed from her nose and had some reconstruction done – isn’t that what we call a “nose job?” She also had fat injected into her cheeks so she won’t have any more wrinkles. Oh, and she also got a chin implant. Her face is still really puffy from the surgery, so it’s hard to know how she is really going to look like in the end. Last season, Slade as part of his wannabe comedic stand-up routine, said that Vickie looked like Miss Piggy. Evidently, this really got Vicki to start thinking about some changes. Vicki says her face is still really numb from the surgery and that it reminds her of one of the Muppets puppets – You know, where the top half of the face doesn’t move but the bottom half does? Wait… wasn’t Miss Piggy one of the Muppets? So does she want to be a Muppet or not? I’m confused! Vicki hasn’t told any of the other women about her surgery… She starts whining about how she wishes she had men in her life so they could move her furniture for her. Cuz yeah, that’s the first thing I think of when I think of having a man in my life. Vicki’s status in dating Brooks is very unsettled – I’m sure her Facebook relationship status is probably “it’s complicated.” I do know she is drinking a heck of a lot of wine while she whines.
Next we see Heather arriving home and bringing tidings of live lobsters. She’s planning a clam bake for next weekend and she’s invited everyone but Alexis. They have to do a taste test to see if they want the lobsters from Australia or the ones from Main. Terry, her husband suggests that they have onion rings at the clam bake. Heather scrunches up what’s left of her nose at that prospect. No, they’re not having anything fried at the clam bake, thank you very much. However, Terry really, really wants some onion rings. Heather maturely asks her toddler to tell her daddy that he’s not a toddler. Heather explains that Terry acts like the little brother she never wanted. Wait, did she just say she didn’t want her husband? They’re having everyone over this weekend and she’s worried about Brooks coming. But never fear, they’re hiring special security to make sure she doesn’t have any uninvited guests and to make sure that no one eats the icing bow off her cake. Did I mention that Terry really, really wants onion rings.
Tamra and her kids have moved into Eddie’s house. They are making plans to move forward with the gym they own together, although Tamra owns “controlling” interest 51% and Eddie only owns 49% – and she often reminds him of that. He’s working on some kewl looking business cards on the computer. Tamra interrupts his work to ask him to help her move some boxes and he does the biggest eye roll – In fact, his whole head almost rolled. He dutifully gets up but is really not happy about it. Eddie bitches her out for wearing sneakers as she’s moving stuff up the stairs. Evidently there’s a rule about not wearing shoes in the house. He’s also mad that the lights in the kid’s room are on – and I guess there’s a rule about that, too. He whines that the kids leave the lights on all the time. Umm… Eddie, at the risk of being Captain Obvious, your fiancé is the one who has been moving boxes around with not a kid in sight – so I’m guessing she might have needed to turn on a light or something. Meanwhile, Tamra is cranky that it is now becoming more and more obvious that Eddie is really controlling and she swears that she’s never going to let another man control her again. Good thing she’s marrying Eddie – a match made in heaven! Tamra complains that their whole house is manly and dark and feels like a cave. Sounds like a perfect place for a rabid bat like you to live, Tamra. She then starts to complain that there are piles of stuff everywhere. Eddie says is because she’s doing the piling… or maybe he says it’s because she has the piles… I don’t remember… Tamra thinks she’s in charge of the house now. She tells Eddie that she wants a new washer and dryer and all new furniture. Is that all?
Ooo ooo ooo Vicki’s daughter is having her baby at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach – It’s a really great hospital with a view of the ocean. Vicki can’t wait to be a nana and she and Briana share a couple of touching moments. Briana feels like she’s a kid – a kid having a kid… Vicki tells Briana that she’s really proud of her. Awww… Kumbayah!
Gretchen is meeting Tamra at the Naomy & Adrian boutique and says “ding dong” as she walks in just like the ding dong she is. Tamra receives a phone call from Heather letting her know that Vicki called her to alert her that Briana has gone into labor. Gretchen and Tamra cackle together about Vicki becoming a grandmother. After Tamra confirmed that it was Vicki herself that called Heather to tell her about the labor – She smirked her evil smirky smile. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away Vicki would have called Tamra directly. Then Heather has the audacity to suggest that Tamra send Vicki a text to tell her that she knows about the labor and that she’s thinking about her – Heather is just sure that Vicki would want to know that (cough, cough) – Tamra dryly says that she will send Briana a text… In her talking head, Tamra says that last year she would have been Vicki’s first call – then calls her “bitch” but obviously, she was merely referring to herself. Evidently, Tamra hasn’t been talking to Vicki ever since she got the nastiest email from her blaming Tamra for everything including giving her the evil eye. Whoa, the evil eye? Say it ain’t so! Gretchen confirms that’s what Vicki does… Flash to the reunion show when Vicki is saying that Tamra was dating Eddie back while she was still married. Oh… so that’s why Tamra is mad at her? In the email, Vicki evidently told Tamra that she degraded Vicki, that Tamra is a horrible person, and that Eddy is going to leave her one day… Gretchen asks if Tamra wants to make up with her? Tamra wants nothing to do with her. Gretchen snidely asks Tamra if she’s talked to Alexis & Jim… Puhleeze, as if! The last thing Tamra heard from them was that they wanted to sue her for calling Alexis “Jesus Jugs.” Okay, if we’re going to have another threat of a lawsuit, kill me now (KMN). Then Tamra says that Alexis has been telling everyone that she thought they were bullying her and that they’re horrible people. Tamra tried to explain to us all that when you’re sitting in a group of people and every single one of them is telling you something about yourself that’s not good – that’s not what a bully is. Perhaps not, but it was a mean girl, bitchy, gang up on the weak elk that’s been separated from the herd kind of move. The mean girls were telling Alexis that she was materialistic and pretentious. Umm… really? And this is coming from: Tamra, who insisted her fiancé buy all new furniture even though they’re planning a wedding and launching a new business; Gretchen, who begged her dying boyfriend to buy her a pink motorcycle; and Heather, who almost had an aneurism about someone eating a bow off a cake. (I know I’m mentioning the bow a lot right now – I’m sorry, I just can’t get over it) – … Tamra thinks Alexis should have sat back and said to herself, “Gee, why is everyone saying that? It must be true” Gretchen gets on her high horse stands up on her bully pulpit and says that Alexis is a grown woman – they weren’t beating her to death in Costa Rica – that there are kids who are really getting bullied and are getting beaten up so badly that they commit suicide. Gretchen thinks that Alexis strategically attached her name to the term “bullying” cuz it’s such a hot topic in this country. But really, is Alexis really capable of doing anything strategically? Gretchen believes Alexis is playing the victim card by saying she’s been bullied just so she would get sympathy. Gretchen preaches that she was being a “true” friend and doing right by her by telling Alexis the truth and then she gets called a bully. Poor widdle Gwetchen! Right now her friendship with Alexis is nothing – she doesn’t talk to her she doesn’t want to talk to her. Gretchen doesn’t wish to have Alexis as part of her life anymore. Tamra hopes that Alexis knows that Jesus doesn’t like liars and that lying is a sin. Tamra says she doesn’t know who Alexis gets down on her knees for – but it isn’t Jesus. (I’m really, really sorry to have typed that – but that’s exactly what she said… and no, she didn’t burst into flames, yet… we can only hope!) Tamra doesn’t know if Heather is inviting Alexis to the clam bake or not – but if she does, she will be invisible to her – Invisible Jesus Barbie. How 2nd grade of her – I wonder if Tamra has invisible spray… cuz I know who I’d like to use it on…
After being in labor for over 14 hours the contractions stopped and Briana finds out she has to have an emergency C-section. When Vicki sees baby Troy for the first time, it reminds her of seeing Michael and Brianna for the first time – and it was pretty special. Briana is Vicki’s best friend and her everything – Vicki would rather spend time with Briana than anyone else on earth. They include a flashback to several years ago when Vicki and Briana were walking along the beach and Briana was talking about being in nursing school. She was so excited about being able to see babies being delivered. Briana and Ryan’s baby – Troy William was born on September 28, 2012 and weighed 7 lbs. and 11 oz. and measured 20 inches.
Gretchen is feebly attempting to make coffee in a very cute single serve red and white polka dot coffee mug. Slade has finally gotten a job as a radio host. She calls Slade to ask how to make coffee. Slade answers the phone in his radio voice and of course Gretchen has to demean him by saying, “Chipper party of 1.” Although in all fairness, she obviously hadn’t had her morning coffee. She whines about how Slade’s job has gotten in the way of her important morning routine like making coffee. She continues to whine that she now has to handle a whole lot more stuff about her company – like taking care of marketing, etc. – because Slade used to do it – but now he’s gainfully employed so he can stop being a deadbeat dad and finally pitch in to help with his son’s mounting medical bills. She really didn’t say all of that – the writer used creative license. Gretchen muses about who wouldn’t want to be her bitch? Fortunately, she’s hired an unsuspecting assistant to help out.
Alexis has a cute new hairdo. She and Jim bought a bright shiny new house and she’s happy they’re not renting anymore. It’s craft time with the kids! Goodie! Alexis is getting rid of all the dead weight in her life. So why did she come back this season, again? Alexis wants to decorate the house how she wants it to be decorated – and she has an issue with a couple of pieces of sculptural art that Jim has on display. Both are of scantily clad women. In a snotty, smug voice he demeaningly asks her to tell him what she knows about art. She explains that while she doesn’t know a lot about art she does know that she has a 6 year old son and she doesn’t want him to see the art. Jim tries to make the point that the sculpture actually has on a floor-length dress – and that Alexis actually wears less clothes than the statue. Alexis tries to make us believe that she and Jim are in a really great place right now. Well, it’s because Alexis caved into Jim and let the caveman have his way. She is now chained to the kitchen and is taking care of the kids. Alexis attempts to pretend she made some business changes because last year she spread herself way too thin. She’s made some changes like pulling way back on “Alexis Couture” and she’s not newscasting with Fox 5 anymore (and if anyone believes that she didn’t get fired, well, I have some swampland to sell you) She then tells Jim that she got a call from Vicki telling her that Heather is having a clam bake and Vicki asked if she was going. Alexis told her she wasn’t invited. Jim has no idea how Alexis could stand to be around that group of women. Alexis really believes that she was bullied in Costa Rica by Gretchen, Tamra and Heather. Alexis thinks they can use whatever words they want to use – attacking, ganging up, etc. – but Alexis believes she was definitely a victim of bullying. She’s not ready to see them again – not yet, anyway. Jim wants her to surround herself with positive women who will lift her up and that is the antithesis of what the housewives were to her last year. He told her that they tore her down in a group like a pack of wolves. So yeah, why did she come back this year, again? Alexis tells us that bullying someone is “to intentionally or habitually be cruel to a weaker person.” She explains that she’s weaker because there’s only one of her (against the other 3) and because she’s never going to be on the same playing field as they are. Huh? Alexis is really shocked that Heather’s acting career didn’t go better because she’s really good at switching from being really nice to being really mean. Oh, snap! Alexis says that Gretchen isn’t the same person anymore – and she thinks it’s because Tamra has influenced her too much. Alexis and Jim don’t understand why people need to fight… why can’t they just love? Umm… because this is Bravo, and drama is mandated, duh!
Heather’s getting ready for the big clam bake. She loves her new pool that takes up a good portion of their back yard now – but she hopes no one ends up in it tonight. The table is fancy schmanzy – just like normal clam bakes, no? Heather revels in her chair fit for a queen – while all the others are just fit for townspeople. Rut roh… emergency! There are no candles! The guy that’s
helping her looks panicked as she’s demanding the candles that they talked about when they were planning the event. Ohmygosh, the glass beachy centerpieces sit way too high. Horrors! Okay, it’s broad daylight right now… yep… candles are exactly what you need. Heather acknowledges she might have a lil issue with micro-managing things. Oh wait, I get it – it’s not a beach themed clam bake – it’s a Beyotch themed clam bake! Terry looks at the seating assignments and wonders why she has seated Vicki and Tamra across from each other. Terry then suggests heating the pool in case this party takes a turn for the worst…
**Commercial break** Okay, there’s this hot guy hawking Kraft Zesty Italian dressing while flipping a table in true Real Housewives of New Jersey fashion… He’s a HGMWLF for sure! (hot guy Marisa would love to f*** – Sorry, I still have RHOBH on my mind… lol) He asks us if we follow all the rules cuz he sure doesn’t… then he says, “Let’s get zesty”… okay, back to our show…
Eddie and Tamra are in a limo on their way to pick up Gretchen. Tamra says her stomach hurts because she’s afraid to see Vicki. Eddie asks her if she’s afraid of her and Tamra says she is…Eddie wonders why… and Tamra explains that it’s because Vicki’s mean and she’s loud and it’s always everyone else’s fault. Eddie thinks that Vicki is all bark… but Tamra thought she was going to bite her the last time she saw her (insert gratuitous eye roll here).
Vicki is getting ready for the clam bake and the cutest pudgiest pug is sprawled on his tummy on her nice tapestry couch which seems to be okay with Vicki. For the first time, Vicki is going alone to a housewives’ social event and she’s really anxious about it. She’s nervous because her face is still swollen from the surgery and she’s about to walk into a den of vipers. Vicki decides she is going to own what she did to herself – it’s her body, her choice, her money – and frankly my dear, it’s none of their business. Vicki, evidently you haven’t met Tamra, Gretchen and Heather!
Gretchen and Tamra are wearing cute matching twin outfits – white pants with pinkish/coralish colored tops. Awww, isn’t that just so precious? Tamra shows a recent pic of Vicki to Gretchen and they start laughing because they know that she had to have some plastic surgery done. Gretchen starts mocking Vicki by recalling how Vicki was so proud of how she looked and used to point at her own face and say that it was her God-given face and that she has her dad’s nose – thus implying that she would never want to do anything to change it. We then see old footage of when Vicki is telling the girls that she’s sorry that she doesn’t look as pretty as they want her to look but that her mom and dad think she’s beautiful. Tamra thinks she looks like Jim (Alexis’ husband) implying that she obviously got the same chin implant as he did. Gretchen says in her talking head that if Vicki says she got plastic surgery because Slade made fun of her looks – that she’d kill a bitch. I thought the term was cut a bitch, no?
Back at the Crab Shack, Terry and Heather are talking to the chef about the final menu for the night – It looks like they’re having Main lobsters… steamers… steak… fresh corn… new potatoes and green beans… Terry asks why they’re not having onion rings. Heather explains that he really doesn’t want onion rings – he just wants to push her buttons. Actually, I think the man wants onion rings.
In the limo on the way to the Clam Bake, Gretchen asks Tamra if she’s gonna go up and hug Vicki when she sees her… Eddie says she’d first have to be able to recognize her… Oh, snap! Tamra says that she can ask Vicki to please raise her hand so she can find her… Oh gosh, isn’t that just the funniest thing you’ve ever heard? Everyone is very dressed up for this very exclusive “Clam Bake”… except for Eddie who is wearing an old pair of jeans and a very plain white T shirt. Nice effort, Eddie! Although, in fairness, Eddie is wearing what I would envision you wear to a real clam bake. But this IS Orange County, after all…
After reading their destination, they all skip arm and arm up to Heather and Terry’s front door. They have to get past two burly security guards flanking the front door ready to take down anyone who looks like they’d dare to eat a bow off of Heather’s cake.
Gretchen in a shining moment of sheer stupidity wonders aloud why anyone would name a dinner like this a “clam bake.” After all, as her rock solid reasoning concludes, when she cooks a ham she doesn’t call it a “ham off.” Oh wait… was she trying to be funny? It’s hard to tell, what with that wind tunnel in between her ears and all…
Tamra, Gretchen and Heather walk out on the lawn to look at the table and to see the seating arrangements. I mean there’s all of like 12 people going to be at this dinner… must we have assigned seating? Gretchen has a conniption fit that she’s seated next to Vicki and not next to Tamra! Heather clues in the girls that Vicki just broke up with Brooks. Tamra and Gretchen immediately say that it’s a lie… Gretchen thinks that Vicki only pretended to break up with Brooks so that they wouldn’t beat up on him. Yes, cuz it’s oh so pleasant to bring your boyfriend to events where your so-called friends verbally attack him every chance they get. Ohmygosh… they have me defending Brooks… dagnabit – make it stop!
Gretchen warns them that if Vicki eats her for dinner they can’t be upset. Gretchen thinks that if you have to hide the person that supposedly you’re so in love with and is an amazingly wonderful man – then you’re basically admitting that everybody else is right. Huh? I’m not even going to try to understand that logic… Heather is taking it all at face value – she doesn’t see why Vicki would lie about it. She does say that the only hinky thing is that Terry had drinks with Brooks just a couple of weeks ago – and everything seemed hunky dory at that point. Terry actually said “honky dory” but come on – let’s get the phrase right. Tamra assures us that her thoughts of Brooks have not changed. The only thing she can think of is that the guy was conceived anally because he’s the biggest a**hole she knows. Tamra is calling “bulls***” in her obnoxious operatic voice.
**Commercial break** Hot zesty Kraft Italian dressing guy is back… and he wants to make a salad…he asks us how zesty do you want it? He’s squirting Italian dressing into a sauté pan… “A little more? A little more?” he asks. With each squirt, the flame gets higher and higher until it conveniently burns off his shirt. He says, “Let’s get zesty.” And somewhere in the 90210, Marisa fans herself. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Vicki arrives at the den of vipers. Tamra hasn’t seen Vicki in 7 months… She wonders who is going to say hi first? Are you kidding me? How juvenile can we be? Oh right, we ARE talking about Tamra and Vicki. Tamra just hopes the bitch is nice otherwise she’ll have wine in her face… Gretchen encourages Tamra to be cordial… As Vicki walks out to the designated clam bake area, Tamra, obviously rightfully afraid for her life, pleads with Gretchen to not leave her side… whew, end of episode…oh, but wait…
Oh joy… They show quick, unrelated snippets of what we can look forward to in this season of Real Housewives of Orange County: Tamra touching a male stripper’s “down there” area… snow angels… Tamra sticking out her tongue on an icicle and getting stuck (Seriously, has she never seen “A Christmas Story” or “My Best Friend’s Wedding?”)… Gretchen and Slade are trying to conceive… (Oh nooooo….they’re procreating) Jim and Alexis take dancing classes… Since the new girl is friends with Alexis – Heather immediately knows she’s not her kind of people cuz she’s nice like that… Tamra is pressuring Eddie to set a wedding date and she thinks that if he didn’t want to get married he shouldn’t have asked her – or – maybe it’s because he knows you’re a whiney bitch – or – that he swings a very different way, allegedly… Vicki asks Brooks if they’re dating or not dating…together or not together… Heather calls Terry a jerk and then slams what looks like their bedroom door… Laurie from season 1 comes back into the fold… Vicki threatens to scratch the eyeballs out of someone’s head – it could be Laurie but I’m not sure… there’s a scene of Alexis in a limo complaining to Lydia, the new girl, that she’s being bullied. Lydia is saying that she doesn’t think she’s being bullied but Alexis explains that she had to go on Xanax because of it… Heather tells Slade, “You know what the correct response is right now? You know, ‘I’m sorry?’”… Vicki tells Briana that she misses Brooks and so they are going to continue dating… Briana tells her mom that if she wants Brooks to come stay at the house that like it’s totally cool – but she won’t live there if that happens. Ryan tells Vicki that if you act like a bitch, then you are a bitch…Vicki’s mouth is gaping open… Lydia tells Gretchen that dirty is dirty is dirty – you’re dirty… Vicki screams at Gretchen, “Don’t you get it? You’re a woman!” Gretchen says, “Why would I lie about that?” Tamra responds that she doesn’t know. While at a dinner table, Alexis tells Tamra to butt out… Tamra goes ballistic… “Butt out? You get the fuck out!” This is such a nice cast, isn’t it? KMN
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 2 by BB
The second part of the reunion starts out with a continuation of the conversation about who’s lying about what Yolanda said about Lisa on the Paris trip. Kyle has a problem with what Yolanda says in her blogs compared to what she says to her in person. Kyle asks Yolanda who should she believe? Yolanda just laughs and tells Kyle she never looks in her face anyway and asks what she’s talking about. Conversation over.
Andy asks Lisa if she thinks Yolanda said she was full of shit at the airport. Lisa says she doesn’t believe it. Kim looks incredulous at Lisa and says she has no reason to lie to Lisa. Kyle says nothing. Andy asks Lisa if she thinks Kyle is kind of a liar. Lisa says she not saying Kyle is a liar but she’s not sure she believes it happened the way they say it did. Kyle says she may be many things, but she’s not a liar.
Andy asks Lisa who she trusts the most of the ladies present. She says she’s not as close to Kim but she’s very supportive of her. She trusts Brandi with her life. She thinks Brandi throws things at her and she throws them right back at Brandi, like she had such a go at her this week. And to be honest she trusts Yolanda because it comes from a history and it’s a quiet trust. She thinks Taylor will tell her everything to her face, but Kyle she’s had issues with, and shrugs. Andy says, “so Kyle’s not in your top two.” Lisa says no, but she does love Kyle. She’s just done too many things behind her back for her to have a trust with her. Andy asks Kyle what she thinks the future of her friendship with Lisa will be. Kyle says to be honest, she feels like it’s in Lisa hands. It hurts her feelings that Lisa trusts Yolanda over her. Lisa makes a distinction between the way Yolanda may or may not talk about women and the way Kyle has. That’s her opinion. Kyle’s response is maybe Lisa needs more time, she doesn’t know. Kyle still doesn’t seem to get what Lisa’s definition is of a true friendship.
The next topic is about the end of Paul and Adrienne’s marriage. Several scenes are shown of Adrienne constantly putting Paul down and ends with Adrienne crashing Lisa’s vow renewal party. Andy is surprised they split up. Kyle says she is too. She thought they were cute together. Lisa reveals Paul moved out a few times the first season but never said anything. Adrienne stated in the press Brandi destroyed her family and her sudden friendship with Paul is an act of vindictiveness. Brandi says she doesn’t have a close relationship with Paul, they are cordial. Brandi says they all know she’s not responsible for their marriage breakup, at least she does. Andy asks Brandi about her comment that their marriage was a business relationship. Brandi says the only time she ever saw the two kiss, in Hawaii, it was very uncomfortable and she felt sorry for them. Kyle was very shocked when she heard Adrienne was dating Rod Stewart’s son. She’s known him since he was a baby. Brandi has had dinner with him and thinks he’s a lovely person, but thinks the matchup is just an odd coupling.
Radaronline reported Chef Bernie published pictures of a bruised Adrienne on his facebook page, accusing Paul of beating her. Kyle never saw any indication of any type of abuse in that family and thinks Bernie did it for attention. Lisa thinks Adrienne obviously condoned it because she didn’t publicly deny the Radaronline story. She kept silent which to Lisa speaks volumes. None of the women believe Paul would ever be abusive to his wife or kids. Lisa says just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not true, but domestic violence was a pivotal conversation the whole of season two and the evidence doesn’t make sense. Taylor says Adrienne never confided in her that any type of domestic abuse was going on with them. The fact that she didn’t get any support from Adrienne until her black eye made Taylor lose respect for her.
The next segment is about the continuing never-ending issues between Kim and Kyle and how they haven’t been getting along even with Kim sober. Many scenes from the season are shown with Kim acting weird and kooky. Brandi even says at one point she doesn’t think they like each other. Kim says she and Kyle still have a lot of work to do. She was hurt by some of the stuff she saw watching the season and what Kyle said. Kyle didn’t realize how highly sensitive Kim was during the season, but she does now. Kim doesn’t understand some of the things Kyle says when they are not together, like she isn’t sure if Kim is sober. Kim is fighting for her life (Kim really needs to go back to rehab for more work). Kim points to Yolanda and tells her it hurts when Yolanda asks Kim if she remembers things.
Kim claims she remembers everything about the season. (I personally think Kim learned a lot about the season from watching it on TV along with the rest of us.) Kim calls Yolanda out about her using excuses, like being Dutch, her disease, etc. Yolanda says she stands behind everything she’s said and to not bring her disease into it. Kim says Yolanda herself has brought her disease into it. Kim admits Yolanda was really kind and helpful to her during Paris. I guess it’s OK for Kim to blame everything on her disease, but it’s not OK for Yolanda to mention her disease.
Brandi jumps into defend Yolanda by telling Kim Yolanda carried her shitty pillow and bag through the airport for her and wonders why Kim is attacking her for being so nice to her. Kim tells Brandi she doesn’t have to jump in and get nasty and mean with her when she’s just having a conversation with Yolanda and asks her if this is what she did to Adrienne. Jump in and get all mean. That’s what Brandi does to people. Jumps in and is a mean, naughty little girl.
Andy asks Brandi about her comment about Kim and Kyle not liking each other. She tries
to explain that comment by saying families should protect each other instead of doubting each other. Kyle tells Brandi she doesn’t know their history and Lisa agrees that Kyle has been through so much that when she gets a hint that something may be off with Kim, like in Paris, she understandably gets concerned. Kim says Kyle knew what was going on in Paris. Kyle and Lisa both said they knew it wasn’t alcohol, but they knew something wasn’t right.
Kim calls Lisa out about acting like she was concerned and then kind of joking about it with others. Lisa and Kim disagree about whether Kim was lucid in Paris. Kyle is just rolling her eyes. Andy then asks Brandi about her saying that certain people want to see Kim fail. Here comes the bomb. Brandi says she feels that Kyle was always doubting Kim’s sobriety and she almost feels like it would make her happy if she failed. Taylor audibly gasps. Kim’s eyes get really big. Andy looks at Kyle almost gleefully awaiting her response.
Kyle tells Brandi she knows nothing about what has gone on with her sister or their history. She spent every effing night of her life saying a prayer to God to keep her sister sober; first to get her sober and then to keep her sober. She tells Brandi that is the meanest thing she can say. Big hair flip and wiping tears with fingers.
Taylor tells Brandi they’ve been living that for half of their lives. Brandi says she’s not trying to hurt Kyle, but that’s how it’s coming across to her. Andy asks Kim how she feels about it. Taylor looks at Kim and says “You know your sister supports you and loves you and wants you to be sober and be happy. She’s spent half of her life taking care of you and helping you (while Kim is stroking her hair continuously).” Kim says she doesn’t have it in her to fail again and this is her last shot. If she relapsed again, she doesn’t think she would make it, she doesn’t think her body could take it. At this point, Kyle and Lisa exchange places. Kyle sits down and adjusts her hair and makes sure she will look her best while she has a heart to heart with her sis. Kim looks at Kyle and tells her that for her to say she was not acting sober was so wrong. Kyle says whatever the wording was, Kim was not herself but she knew it wasn’t alcohol.
Lisa says when Kyle uses the word “sober” it does resonate and probably hurts Kim. Kyle uses the “things come out wrong sometimes” excuse while she’s flipping her hair (an excuse she uses for a lot of things). They finally come to an agreement that the word “sober” is a strong word and Kyle shouldn’t use it cavalierly. Can we please move on? Brandi apologizes.
I’m not saying anything about the next segment about the women’s life in Beverly Hills because I don’t really care. We’ve all seen it this season. It’s why I watch this franchise. I like to see their extravagant lives.
Paul has a separate interview and he says his parents had a dysfunctional marriage and he wishes they would have divorced years earlier. The only thing he cares about are his kids and his practice. Paul says he does not blame Brandi for his split with Adrienne. He blames her for making comments that were hurtful. What she did was wrong, she apologized for it and when they see each other, it’s cordial. Paul would have preferred for things to have been kept more private. Will he ever be on the show again? He will never say never. If one of the ladies needs emergency plastic surgery, he’s there. Mauricio says Paul is doing great now, like they are still the best of friends. Ken didn’t believe the allegations against Paul at all. If it were true there is no way Adrienne would give shared custody of her kids to Paul; at least Ken wouldn’t have if it had been him.
Mauricio says he is working with Adrienne to find her a new place and had just left her a message that day. Andy is being too nice to Mauricio for some reason and asks him how difficult it is to navigate being friends and also doing business within the group. He says it’s somewhat challenging sometimes but he lives by the philosophy that a fish gets caught by its mouth and he doesn’t like to get caught so he keeps his mouth shut. Seems to me he ran his mouth a lot this season. Andy confirms it when he tells Mauricio he didn’t keep his mouth shut this season. Footage of Ken, Paul and Mauricio getting into the action.
Mauricio doesn’t regret what he said to Brandi that night in the restaurant. Mauricio is trying to make everyone believe he was trying to give Brandi advice that night. Brandi says he shouldn’t have spoken to her like he did. Kyle says she has only seen Mauricio that way a few times in the years she’s known him. So which is it? Was Mauricio over the top like Kyle is kind of admitting, or was Mauricio the calm mediator like he himself is claiming? Brandi says he was yelling at her across a restaurant and acting aggressively towards her. He apologizes if he made her feel that way but they just had two different opinions.
Here comes some real side-stepping, double-talk from Mauricio in my opinion. Andy brings up the fact that Adrienne and Paul were clients of Mauricio’s at the time and that had to have partly impacted his defense of them. Mauricio thinks he was able to look at it from two different perspectives. Lisa chimes in and says “Yeah, but you’re a businessman and you know that if there’s a possibility of representing them or selling their house, then you’re going to nurture that relationship.” Mauricio says with a straight face, “Actually I wouldn’t do that.” Kyle says Lisa is implying that Mauricio’s defense of them is because of the business relationship. Lisa says a little, yeah. Kyle says nobody is disputing Brandi was wrong including Brandi.
Brandi asks them if they were close to Adrienne and Paul before then. Kyle says they were closer to Paul and Mauricio is looking all perplexed like they’ve been friends for years. Brandi says they all of a sudden became close friends with them when Brandi became their enemy. Mauricio says none of them have any idea about any of this stuff. They (he and Kyle I guess) had no idea Paul and Adrienne wanted to sell their house. Lisa says they had been talking about selling their house the same time Lisa and Ken sold theirs. A guy who looked at Ken and Lisa’s house also looked at Adrienne and Paul’s house at the same time. Mauricio even set it up because that’s what he does. Mauricio is claiming the only time he worked on selling their house was after they separated. Lisa finds it strange that she knew more than Mauricio did about Adrienne and Paul wanting to sell their house. I find it strange too since Kyle and Mauricio were such good friends with them, much closer than Lisa was with them.
Mauricio says there are only a few people in the world who can separate business relationships from friendships and he’s one of them. That’s why when Kyle was having trouble with Camille in season one, Mauricio told her to fix it and couldn’t keep himself from fawning all over Camille whenever he saw her.
Mauricio gets confused when Andy asks about him dropping people as friends after he gets his commission from selling their houses. He says he’s still “working” with Adrienne and Paul and that Paul’s nephew now works for the Agency. As far as Lisa and Ken, he’s never dropped them and he would love to “work” with them. Andy and Ken have to clarify to Mauricio that they are talking about a social relationship, not a business relationship. Mauricio thinks what happened between Lisa and Kyle is what hurt that relationship and has nothing to do with him. Obviously friendship to Mauricio and Kyle is totally different than what friendship is to Lisa and Ken. I would pick Ken and Lisa as friends in a heartbeat over Kyle and Mauricio.
Andy asks each lady about their experience this past season.
Yolanda says it feels great to have made it through, even if she’s a little bit amazed at what she’s heard at the reunion. She’s going to take it home and digest it.
Brandi feels very blessed at the friendships she’s made. She has two lifelong friends in Yolanda and Lisa and she actually likes the rest of them a little bit. So she looks forward to exploring that more and she’s excited they can have fun together.
Kyle says all the women there are beautiful and smart and strong and they all have their moments at times, but she hopes after a day like that where they’ve said things and some of them have had their feelings hurt and been angry that, hopefully, it clears the air a little bit and they can leave today stronger and in a better place eventually. Whew. Talk about a run-on sentence.
Taylor says she’s closed a big chapter in her life and a new one is opening for her and the girls have become like family to her through everything and she looks forward to sharing it all with them.
It meant everything to Kim to get through the season sober and it was huge. Her children and sisters were a huge part of it. She loves being sober and having all of them in her life. She’s just super grateful she made it through the year.
Lisa thinks the day has been incredibly cathartic and she really loves all of these women. They’ve had their ups and downs and it’s a lesson to them all to embrace the moment and support each other.
Other than Andy handing out t-shirts with the ladies’ tag lines on them, that about it. There is one more episode of lost footage and then it’s so long to the Beverly Hills ladies for a little while.
Dancing with the Stars Recap by Lisette
Welcome to Prom Night!
The night starts with a group prom dance to allow the audience to vote for prom Queen and King. The winner or winners will receive two extra points. Very freestyle and much fun! Everyone basically lets very loose and Aly broke out the gymnastics. Really cute opening number choreographed by Louis van Amstel. No judging from the judges thank God!
Now onto the dances!
Alexandra & Mark – Viennese Waltz – Score 23
- CAI – 7
- LG – 8
- BT – 8
Aly’s pre-dance montage touches on her prom by showing pics of her with her date. Cutie patooties both of them! Then the usual struggle highlights, frustration montage if you will and on to the dance…Very nice dance! Smooth and the rhythm flowed nicely. Len starts the night off with boos by saying he’s not impressed and then he goes APRIL FOOLS! Oh Len! Bruno was swept away and Carrie Ann liked it as well but wants her to stay in character. The men disagree with her and bickering ensues.
OMG! They are showing prom photos from the hosts! Tom was a ham even way back then (70s!).
Andy & Sharna – Cha Cha – Score 18
CAI – 6
LG – 6
BT – 6
Andy’s pre-dance montage is a little scary. I feel like Andy is too fragile for this show. Hope it goes well for him. Now the dance…Sharna is looking hot in a one piece cat suit! The dance meanwhile was a hot mess. The Cha Cha was not for Andy. His steps were off and his coordination was lacking. The judges like him and they are appreciating that he tries. Bruno says he brings the entertainment, Carrie Ann likes that he tries and Len says he’s happier after seeing him dance but his scores might not reflect that. I guess Andy doesn’t have family in the audience. Yvette Nicole Brown (Community on NBC) was rooting him on tonight but they panned to the RHBH cast in the audience first. Weird. LipsMcGee, Maury, Brandy and Kim are in the audience with VileKyle. Those lips on Taylor are horrific in HD.
Ingo & Kym – Paso Doble – Score 21
CAI – 7
LG – 7
BT – 7
General Hospital in the house to cheer on Ingo! Good Lord Vanessa Marcil does not age! Pre-dance montage Ingo & Kym discuss how he’s in the middle of the pack and what can they do to shine. Now an aches and pains montage. Ingo is 42 after all! LOL! On to the dance…Ingo rides in on a motorcycle and glitter helmet. Definite improvement in his dancing this week. Bruno is going nuts! Carrie Ann thinks he captured the passion of the dance but his core is weak and she suggests he work on that for next week. I agree with her. Len liked how he came out and attacked, arms need work but he liked it. Bruno is out of his seat and all a flutter! He agrees with the other two. Refinement in the shape is needed but otherwise good effort. Backstage interview he shouts out GH. He’s been on the show for 18 years?! Wowza!
Lisa & Gleb – Viennese Waltz – Score 21
CAI – 7
LG – 7
BT – 7
Pre-dance montage touches on they don’t have the votes due to Gleb having no followers. Lisa says he should go naked on a billboard…I second, third and fourth that idea! LOL! On to the dance…It was nice but she missed a lot of hand connections (apparently called passes). Len said it was better but not great. Bruno was more generous but had some constructive criticism. Carrie Ann like it and said she liked looking at the two of them but Lisa needs to stay in character as well. Ken and Pandy were in the audience too!
Kellie & Derek – Jive – Score 25
CAI – 8
LG – 9 !!!!!
BT – 8
Pre-dance montage focuses on how quick and hard the jive is. Kellie says when Derek gets upset he gets the wasp face…yeah he kinda does…LOL! On to the dance…DANG! Derek makes the best entrance EVAH! He slides in on his feet from the top of the stairs! The jive is fast and good. Derek can really choreograph a dance! I think Kellie has a few missteps but by far the best of the night! Bruno called her sharper than a Samurai sword! Carrie Ann called it ridiculously amazing! Len said she was flying around like a wasp at a picnic (Anglo-ism?) and called her the Queen of the Prom!
Victor & Lindsay – Contemporary – Score 23
CAI – 8
LG – 7
BT – 8
Pre-dance montage starts with how hard being in bottom two was. Touch on how hardscrabble Victor’s life was. This dance plays to his strengths. On to the dance…the dance has a lot of lifts. Victor is very strong! He doesn’t do much dancing but most of his movements are smooth. The judges are in shock! Carrie Ann calls him a dancer and the dance was breathtaking. Len was pleasantly surprised. He liked the lifts but Victor should work on the dance. Bruno calls him a dancer and said Victor made his partner (Lindsay) proud. I think they panned to his family in the audience and they were very proud or very excited audience members.
DL & Cheryl – Salsa – Score 16
CAI – 6
LG – 5
BT – 5
Pre-dance montage starts with DL’s surprise about not being in the bottom two. Then he goes on about how he didn’t graduate high school but did rent himself as a prom date for $25. I think he’s joking. On to the dance…the dance was entertaining but not really much salsa going on. Basically Cheryl danced around him while he moved his hips sporadically. They also danced on a raised platform. Len starts off with a diss. They danced to Sex Machine so Len goes if you’re a sex machine then I’m America’s next top model…cue the boos…Len says there was no salsa. Bruno appreciates the effort but what he danced wasn’t a salsa. The hip movements looked like he had a hip replacement not smooth moves of salsa. Carrie Ann is more generous and said she sees improvement. She said she knows its hard to dance on top of the box. Tom allows DL to respond to judges and DL says he can’t move his hips like that cause every time he does he produces a kid and kids make him think of child support…LOL! I can’t help but sense anger from DL when the judges diss him. I hope he doesn’t take it out on Cheryl. Poor girl is trying.
Jacoby & Karina – Rhumba – Score 24
CAI – 8
LG – 8
BT – 8
Pre-dance montage, Jacoby was kicked out of his prom for pranks. Not surprised. Then he touches on how his high school and home were destroyed by Hurricane Katrina and he’s dancing for the school. On to the dance…Jacoby’s shirtless…good start! He’s quite graceful for being so tall. The dance is beautiful and I love the way he can pick Karina up by one arm like she’s a 3 lb bag of feathers. His momma loved the dance judging by the way she’s jumping up and down! Bruno is out of his seat! He loved it just wanted him to watch his foot placement. Carrie Ann is impressed with his artistry and musicality. She calls it hot, sensual and artistic! I agree. Len is shocked but how refined the dance was and the quality of movement. He says good job! Show Momma jumping up and down some more! I love her enthusiasm for her baby!
Wynonna & Tony – Samba – Score 15
CAI – 5
LG – 5
BT – 5
Pre-dance montage focuses on how Wynonna is going to rock it. Cameo appearance by Def Leppard! On to the dance…A bit of a hot mess as well. I like Wynonna but homefry needs to move it a little bit more. She poses a lot but not much dancing going on. Carrie Ann says she asked for wild and got wild hair and clothes but the dance a whisper. Len said she’s like Mt. Rushmore, looks good but doesn’t move. He said he didn’t want to be mean cause he knows how hard it is and Tony yelled back “no you don’t”. That comment was a bit mean. Bruno gets out of his chair and starts gyrating and telling Wynonna he wanted her to move like that but her dance was a bit sedated. She needs to hit it hard darling. Tony whispers to Wynonna asking her if she’s OK and she’s tells him she is. She’s gracious in her backstage interview. Admits she’s a singer not a dancer. Hard night for these two.
Sean & Peta – Cha Cha – Score 21
CAI – 7
LG – 7
BT – 7
Pre-dance montage shows his prom pics, has to please Len and awkward dance moves. On to the dance…Sean looked very awkward to me. He was wearing overalls and something about how they fit him made him look off to me. Len called it his best dance, just work on his feet. Bruno, says Sean pleased Len but pleased Bruno even more. Fun but needs cleaner footwork. Carrie Ann said he danced with gusto but also needed to work on his footwork.
Zendaya & Val – Viennese Waltz – Score 24
CAI – 8
LG – 8
BT – 8
Pre-dance montage, Zendaya’s grandma is diagnosed with breast cancer so she’s dancing a song that was around for her grandma’s prom. Basically a tribute for her grandmother. Tear jerker alert! On to the dance…It was beautiful with one little slip up at the end. This girl is so graceful and doe-like. When she’s done it’s like she’s stunned and its like she wants to cry but doesn’t. Her grandma, mom and dad are very proud. Bruno called it enchanting and charming. A couple of stumbles but overall beautiful. Carrie Ann likes her lyrical movements but feels the best is yet to come. Carrie Ann complements Val’s work to bring out her best traits. Len doesn’t like all the sweeping movements made with the arms. He wants to see more in the hold. He’s not criticizing her dance but basically its not his cup of tea.
So at the top are Kellie & Derek and the bottom are Wynonna & Tony. That’s all folks! See you tomorrow for the results show recap. Who do you think will go home?
- Married to Medicine (BB is only doing it week by week until we get someone)
- Don’t be Tardy
- Kandi Factory
Email me – nomoredrama8@gmail if you are interested.
Mary Zilba’s Video – Hero
(As shown been filmed on the Real Housewives of Vancouver = thanks Sloan for the link)
Tuesday Night Lineup, March 2nd, by BB
8PM – Hell’s Kitchen (Fox); The Voice (NBC); Splash (ABC); Monsters and Mysteries: Appalachia (Disc); The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen)
9PM – Dancing with the Stars (ABC); The Mindy Project (9:30 Fox); The New Normal (NBC); Monsters and Mysteries: Pacific Northwest (Disc); Dance Moms (Lifetime); Top Gear (History); Income Property (HGTV); 19 Kids and Counting (TLC); Hardcore Pawn/Storage Hunters (truTV); Apocalypse 101 (NatGeo); The Ultimate Fighter (FX); Nightmare Next Door (ID); Agony and Ecstasy: Phil Spector (BBC)
10PM – Body of Proof (ABC); Golden Boy (CBS); Smash (NBC); Preachers’ Daughters (Lifetime); Cougar Town (TBS); Robot Combat League (SyFy); Six Little McGhees (TLC); Chopped (Food); Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo); World’s Worst Tenants (Spike); Snooki & JWoww (MTV); Dead of Night (ID); Oprah Where Are They Now?: Omarosa and Paul Michael Glaser (OWN); Mystery Diners (Cook)
11PM – WWHL: Rita Wilson and Nia Vardalos (Bravo)