Real Housewives of Orange County by Stars99
This episode opens with Alexis visiting Vicki with a gift in hand again… While I love presents just as much as the next person, it just seems weird to me that these housewives are always giving stuff to each other. Alexis tells Vicki how great she looks after her surgery. Just because she’s a grandma now – it doesn’t mean she has to look like one. She’s a grown adult and she’s comfortable in her own skin – if you want to have plastic surgery, Alexis’ thinks you should do it! Wait, if Vicki was comfortable in her own skin, then she wouldn’t have had the surgery, no? Awww… Alexis gave Vicki a mirror so she could freak out when her wrinkles form again – no, I jest… she gave her a mirror so she knows how beautiful she is – Now that she had surgery done – no, I jest some more… Alexis wants Vicki to know that even though when Alexis had surgery she was annihilated by the other women, that Alexis is squarely in Vicki’s corner the whole way.
Vicki announces to Alexis that Tamra is having a get together and Vicki doesn’t want to go by herself so she selfishly pleads with Alexis to go as her date. Because you know, that’s what real friends do – they love to put their good friends in horrifically uncomfortable situations with people who hate them. Vicki thinks that they’re all adults and can act respectfully like adults. Ummm… have you even met the other women? Perhaps you should look in that mirror Alexis just gave you while you’re at it, cuz you’ve been known to act very immaturely as well. Vicki tells Alexis she already called Tamra and Tamra said it was okay that she attends because Vicki told Tamra that she needed Alexis to come with her. Alexis doesn’t even know where she stands with the other women at this point – and really, she doesn’t even know if she wants to be friends with them at all. Alexis thinks it’s a good sign that Tamra is saying it’s okay for her to attend and that they’ll all just leave the drama at home – Maybe there’s a chance – Yeah, right – a fat chance, I’d say. Alexis said she has plans with Lydia that night and asks Vicki to clear it with Tamra for her to bring Lydia along to the event as well. Alexis says that Lydia is devout – and that if Alexis is considered a Christian – that Lydia is a Christian on steroids. Vicki decides to take the chicken way out and is going to text Tamra cuz she’s askeered of her. Alexis says that Lydia is young and fun and will even the playing field if they all get into a fight that night. Vicki wants to know how young is “young” and Alexis thinks Lydia is around 30 or something – but she’s never actually asked to see Lydia’s birth certificate. Tamra responds to Vicki’s text with a, “Yeah, I guess… I just don’t want any nonsense – This is supposed to be a happy time.” Yes, because everyone else at the dinner is going to behave like adults and it’s the new kid they have to worry about, right?
Heather is getting ready to go out and is told by Terry that the driver is already out in front. Heather is going to fill in on the radio for someone on KFI – AM 640 – Stimulating talk radio. KFI used to be a big deal around here – 30 years ago. They used to have the catchphrase, “KFI Makes Your Wiggle Waggle.” Don’t ask me why I remember that – I just do, lol. Heather explains that if her life is like a puzzle, the piece called “career” is not currently on the board. She gladly changed her name last year (oh puhleeze) and gave up the thousands of acting opportunities so she could stay home with her kids and 8 nannies. Okay perhaps I exaggerated the number of nannies a little, but come on – Martyr, party of one, please! Neil Saavedra, the radio host introduces Heather on air. Heather says she’s done quite a bit of radio over her career. She describes it as being kind of like you’re on an island all by yourself. So, out of all the topics in all the land, Heather starts talking about how she hates that the term “bully” is being bandied around – and that it’s just ridiculous. In her talking head, Heather tells us that Alexis is calling Gretchen, Tamra and Heather “bullies.” Heather believes that she just gave Alexis her honest opinion in a clear concise way without yelling, therefore, she didn’t bully her. Heather is evidently really offended to be called a bully since Heather actually got bullied by a sophomore when she was a freshman in high school. Even though she attended high school in a rich area, she was targeted by a sophomore who got her friends together and terrorized her. They yelled at her and spread rumors around school about her. The bullying just pushed Heather towards her theatric activities and she’s feels lucky since it was such an amazing outlet for a singer and an actress. Heather tells us that just because someone is not particularly nice to you or makes a rude comment – that it doesn’t mean that you’re being bullied. Terry has been watching Heather’s broadcast the whole time and gives her a standing ovation when she’s done for a job well done. I was pleasantly surprised he was there the whole time to be honest.
Okay while I’m not exactly sure that I would use the term “bullying” to describe what happened to Alexis last season, let’s use Heather’s own personal scenario she unequivocally describes as “bullying” and her own words to test to see if they at all parallel what happened to Alexis:
~~ Heather’s happened in an affluent area – So did Alexis’ situation;
~~ The sophomore got her friends in on the action – Tamra, Gretchen and Heather banded together against Alexis;
~~ Heather’s bullies yelled at her – Alexis’ bullies did, too;
~~ Heather’s bullies started rumors about her – Alexis’ bullies had plenty of gossipy stuff to say about she and her husband;
~~ There had to be some pre-planning for the bullies to be together at the same time and place for it to occur – Not only did Tamra, Gretchen and Heather pre-plan when they were going to gang up on Alexis, but they also plotted out what they were going to say; and,
~~ The sophomore and her friends terrorized Heather – Shock of all shocks – Alexis felt they all ganged up on her and terrorized her – and not just one time, but over and over again to the point that she can’t even be in the same place as the others. We’ll see in a future episode that she even had to go on medication because of it.
I’ve got to be honest though, that I truly believe true “bullying” is done in circumstances wherein the victim doesn’t have a lot of choice but to place themselves in vulnerable, dangerous circumstances over and over again for it to happen or somehow cannot escape the situation – like in a schoolyard, on the way to or from school, outside of work, cyber bullying, etc. For me, “bullying” also brings to mind a younger aged person – wherein someone who is either physically bigger or stronger or has more people on their team goes up against a physically weaker, younger person or one who is innately more vulnerable. Herein lies the key difference in Alexis’ situation – She continues to have a choice of whether or not to subject herself to the attacks. It would mean sacrificing a paycheck, yes, but as an adult, she still does have a choice. She also has a production team around her so she is never in actual danger. The heinous part is that Gretchen, whom she had strenuously defended during her own time of dire need has suddenly turned on her and is now one of her attackers. Both Heather and Tamra have 4 children – and I really wonder how they can honestly sleep at night knowing what crappy role models they’re being to their kids. Oh, and not to mention what their kids are hearing about these episodes or the fallout they’re experiencing at their schools – Unfortunately, it wouldn’t surprise me if Heather and Tamra’s actions will have severe adverse repercussions on their kids. Do they not understand this?
On to better topics – Lydia’s and Alexis’s kids are having a play date and they’re going to decorate cookies. I wish we could have seen some of that scene – but alas, kids spreading icing on each other is just not enough drama for Bravo. Lydia explains that when she first saw Alexis in her neighborhood she thought she was just so beautiful and had it all together. They really connected because she thought Alexis seemed like such a great mom. Lydia tells Alexis that she met Heather regarding the magazine article. Alexis looked stunned and quickly asked what Heather had said about her. Lydia nervously blurted out that Heather told her that Alexis wore a fake diamond ring. Alexis thinks it’s interesting that the first thing Heather shares with Lydia is about her cubic zirconia ring. Alexis decides to try to clue in Lydia about Heather by telling her that when she first met Heather she thought she was a nice person and that she was funny and kind. However, through the year Heather constantly threw digs at Alexis and called her names. Lydia says it seems so middle school – and Alexis says it’s more like high school mean girls. However, that being said, Alexis decides to invite Lydia to Tamra’s party. She explains that she and Vicki need positive people around them – plus if Lydia goes then the teams are even: Tamra, Gretchen and Heather on one team; and Vicki, Alexis and Lydia on another. Alexis doesn’t know what she was thinking when she said yes… but she’s convinced that Lydia will bring positive energy. Alexis says she’s Vicki’s support and that Lydia’s her support.
Heather and Terry are scheduled to have dinner with Lydia and Doug that night. Terry is so tired and wonders if they really have to go and Heather assures him that they really do need to go because she can’t tell them “no” at this point. They again talk about their home being part of the magazine article and they reconfirm that if they’re not on the cover that they don’t feel it’s worth it to put every nook and cranny of their house out for everyone to see. Right, because it’s not like you’re on a reality TV show which in part, shoots in your home or anything. Being on the cover could potentially mean good publicity for Terry’s business. They meet Lydia and Doug at “Sol” restaurant and as they walk in they are apologizing that they’re a little late. No worries, Lydia and Doug already ordered margaritas. It seemed like Heather looked taken aback that they had already ordered drinks. Heck, I immediately order an iced tea if I’m seated at a restaurant before someone else arrives, so what’s the big deal? It’s agreed that it looks like they have really great appetizers here and oh by the way, have you guys talked about the photo shoot? What are you envisioning? Doug explains that it’s a custom home article and he wishes they could offer them the cover but they just really can’t. The cover needs to feature a household name that sells magazines. I think that Heather sucked the air out of the room just about then – I know I felt a sonic boom from my house… Ha ha ha… I’m so amused – it’s like Doug was saying, “Who in this world is Adrienne Maloof?” Dies laffin’… (Sorry, I really need to get over RHOBH, don’t I?) Lydia explains in her blog that the magazine is only published quarterly – so the decision about who goes on the cover is an important one. They decide to shelve the topic at this point and perhaps talk about it at a future time. Lydia breaks the news to Heather that she and Alexis are going to Tamra’s party. Again, Heather is shocked and has no idea what could have happened to create the situation wherein Alexis is going to Tamra’s party. She thinks something is “hinky” about it – dagnabit, I used to love using that word, “hinky” – Now I’m going to have to rethink it since I don’t want to be guilty by word association… lol.. that lil joke may make more sense later on… lol… Lydia is surprised by the weird look on Heather’s face. Heather climbs up on her royal throne with her plastic nose up in the air so high it’s a wonder she still can look down her nose to see the commoners who gathering below her Royal Heathership to hear what she has to say. Her Royal Heathership issues a royal decree that we’re all known by the company we keep and that when you’re coming into a new group of friends that you should consider how you’re coming into the group. Her Royal Heathership tells the lowly Lydia that if she’s friends with Alexis that’s great – but obviously, don’t we all know that’s not what she really means. What her Royal Heathership should have said is if you’re not on our team, then we are going to make your life H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. Lydia muses that she doesn’t even know these people yet so why is she already involved in the drama? Awww, young grasshopper, you have much to learn – so much to learn.
Gretchen and Slade are on their way to John Wayne Airport. Gretchen hates it when Slade leaves – but he’s flying to New York to be with his 12 year old son who is having another major surgery – which could potentially give him a better quality of life. Slade assures her the ramifications of not operating outweigh the risks of the surgery itself. Depending on how the surgery goes, it could be days, weeks or months before Slade can come back home. And just when I felt my heart sincerely going out to Gretchen and Slade, sure enough – Gretchen proves once again what a self-centered, self-absorbed, hateful and clueless sludge of a human being she is by going on about how difficult it’s going to be ON GRETCHEN because she’s used to spending every day with Slade. Are you freaking kidding me? My head exploded right about then… Holy cow, for someone who spent a lot of time in hospitals with people who have been very ill – Gretchen is really proving to be amazingly worthless in this situation. In a meager effort to suck sympathy from the viewers, in her talking head through tear-filled eyes, Gretchen explains that parents suffer and carry guilt that there’s nothing they can do to make the situation better for their kids – and she doesn’t want anyone to have that feeling. Eddie has a lot of nerve leaving Gretchen, doesn’t he?
Tamra is laying outfits out on the bed while talking to Eddie. He goes in for a kiss and she barely lets him kiss her on the cheek. What to wear, what to wear… She decides she wants to wear something that will match the purse Eddie got her in Italy. One of the dresses still has a tag on it. Comments are made about how many dresses she has in her closet with the tags still on them. She explains that she buys them when she sees them. Eddie doesn’t know why she needs a new dress every month. Whoa… only one a month? Either she’s not being honest about her spending habits to Eddie or else she’s really not doing her part in being a good housewife in Orange County. I would guess most affluent women in this area probably buy at least one outfit a week, no? Tamra can’t decide between two different dresses and Eddie wants her to try them on because he can’t tell just by looking at them on a hanger. Tamra snaps and bitchily tells him that she will just figure it out herself. Eddie wonders what is her problem? Yeah, we’re all wondering what Tamra’s problem is, Eddie – and you’ll hafta be more specific because she has many, many problems. Eddie asks if she’s pissed off about something? Tamra confesses that she’s mad that she’s letting Vicki bring Alexis to the party tonight. She just felt put on the spot and she didn’t know what to say… Ummm… How about “No” – I’m pretty sure that would have worked. Now, after thinking and stewing about it – she doesn’t want Alexis there at all partly because she doesn’t want to hear any nonsense about bullying. Eddie wants to know if the other girls know that Alexis is going to be there and Tamra said that both Gretchen and Heather know. Really, so that means Tamra’s been busy playing gossip, no? Eddie wants to know what they had to say about it – and Tamra said they couldn’t believe that she said that Alexis could come which just makes Tamra feel like a bigger ass. Well, if the spanks fit, wear ‘em, Tamra! She’s also angry that Vicki put her in this position in the first place and Eddie wonders if Vicki even cares. In her talking head while talking about Vicki, Tamra says, “This is totally like a ‘Screw You’. I don’t understand why she’s doing it and why she wants to hurt me like that.” I’m completely dying laffing, because neither Vicki nor Alexis have even arrived and their names are already “mud.” Eddie asks her what she is going to do and Tamra doesn’t know, but one thing she does know is that her stomach hurts so she has to go to the bathroom. Eddie reminds her to flush. Wow. Yep, that Eddie and Tamra – Match made in heaven.
Alexis is waiting for Lydia to pick her up for the party and is hopeful they can end on a civil ground. Alexis is thankful Lydia is going tonight and Lydia naïvely says it will be fun… Whoops…
Tamra shows up to the CUT Fitness Studio place thingie or whatever they’re calling it this week – and there are flowers and candles all over the place which is exactly what Tamra wanted… The caterer did a great job. Basically, this is a big empty space that was warmed up with strategic peachy lighting and a nice staging area. Tamra wants to make sure there is a seating chart for the dinner table because in true awesome form, Tamra unwraps some special wine glasses she has only for her “special friends” but not for the others. How very adult of you, Tamra. Awww, look – they have a nice crown thingie on the side or something like that – Honestly, I couldn’t care less. It’s in such bad taste to have special things for some guests and not for others. It’s okay though, because it looks like Tamra picked up the “special” goblets by the outside rim, thus getting her funky fingerprints all over them – and who wants to drink out of glasses that have Tamra’s icky fingerprint sludge all over them? In case someone out there didn’t actually believe that teams had been formed – this is just further evidence.
Oh goodie, Gretchen is picking up Heather at her house for this fun filled evening. Terry’s opening a little bottle of “Chumps” (No boys and girls, that was not a typo – anyone who calls “Champagne” – “Champs” actually drinks “Chumps” in my opinion…) As if they won’t have enough time on the car ride over to anticipate the evening’s event, Gretchen and Heather sit down to sip on some “Chumps” and commence gossiping. Gretchen says that Tamra is so upset about tonight. She said that Alexis hasn’t been around in 9 months and suddenly she wants to go to this party! Yes, because we the viewers saw exactly how much Alexis really, really wanted to go to the party (Insert gratuitous eye roll here…). Gretchen whines about how Alexis hasn’t called or reached out to them or has said anything to any of them – because, you know, that’s exactly what we all would do if we felt like we were being bullied – We would reach out to our bulliers. Puhleeze. Gretchen says that Alexis is threating to sue and is calling everyone who is going to the party “bullies.” Gretchen just doesn’t understand Alexis’ purpose in going. Ummm… Could it possibly be because Vicki begged her to go? Okay, now… are you guys sitting down – Cuz you might get dizzy… In Gretchen’s talking head, after we’ve heard over and over again from her how stupid it is for Alexis to use the term “bullying” to describe their actions against her last year, Gretchen uses an actual bullying analogy to explain why Alexis shouldn’t show up to events like tonight’s party when the rest of them are in attendance – I kid you not. Gretchen said, “It’s like going to the school tables of the kids that keep bullying you and keep taking your lunch money…and you keep going back and sitting at the same table, ‘Why are you taking my lunch money?’ It’s like don’t go sit at the table anymore! Learn your lesson. You’re asking for it.” Honestly, that’s what Gretchen said as best as I could understand it – I did not exaggerate it or anything. I just couldn’t make up something like that, honest. Holy Batcrap Crazy, Batman!
Meanwhile, Alexis and Lydia show up to Vicki’s house as she’s pouring a glass of wine for everyone. Inexplicably, Lydia launches in a spontaneous “woo hoo” and instantly Vicki thinks she and Lydia are soul mates. Lydia explains she and her husband are entrepreneurs and this only further fuels Vicki’s Lydia lovefest. She thinks she and Lydia have similar personalities. Cough, cough… yeah, right! Vicki is convinced she’s going to like Lydia.
Gretchen and Heather arrive at CUT Fitness – and they think it looks like “the Bachelor”…. They sit down on couches with Tamra amongst the peachy lit walls and immediately start talking smack about those who have yet to join them. Lydia is pronounced guilty by her association with Alexis. Heather tries to say she’s a nice girl… but Tamra continues to insist that she’s guilty by association – even though she has never met her… I’d hate to think what that makes you, Tamra!
Oh no… someone by the name of “Charlene” who is billed as a psychic medium is also going to attend… omg – another dinner from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks? Charlene walks in and Tamra says they were just talking about her and wonders if her ears were burning or if she was picking up on anything. The “psychic” says, why yes, as a matter of fact she was. Right. If she was truly a psychic – She would have known to never shown up to such an evil gathering – but I digress… Charlene wants to bless the building and take out any negative energy. Well, can you get rid of negative people, too – cuz that’s what it’s going to take to get rid of the negative energy. Tamra says she hopes everything will be done in 4 weeks… After looking around at all the empty space Charlene isn’t feeling 4 weeks – but psychically predicts it will be more like 6 weeks. Heck, even I could have told you that! In an ironic move, Bravo used the psychic piece as the 30 second psyche out – you know, when you’ve fast forwarded past commercials and stop because you think the show has started again – only to see 30 seconds of footage before they launch into yet another commercial. It was amusing to me. With a completely straight face, the psychic feels the evening will go well… Suddenly Tamra doesn’t believe in psychics anymore.
Because it hasn’t already been talked to death, Tamra continues to explain to Heather and Gretchen that she thought Vicki was joking when she originally asked to bring Alexis. Now poor Tamra is uncomfortable in her own space because that evil Alexis is on her way. Heather wants to play the devil’s advocate and asks if it’s possible that Alexis wants to make amends and make things right. Nope, no… no way, Gretchen says that Alexis should have done a one-on-one to make things right. This is not the time or the place for it – they need a public restaurant where they can really embarrass each other, flip tables, and throw stuff. Actually, she didn’t say that last part… but I think she implied it. Plus, if someone says, “STFU” tonight – it really loses its’ effectiveness if there’s only like 8 people there to hear it.
As they’re driving up, Alexis is suddenly saddened that she brought Lydia. In her talking head, Tamra describes when she first saw Alexis, she thought – There she is the – the person who wants to sue her, walking into her place of business – and she allowed it. Tamra said she’s starting to feel really stupid. Wow, it took you this long to feel stupid? We’ve known it for years… Vicki comes bearing a gift of a honkin’ plant and I find myself thinking longingly about that tree trunk of a Rose Parade Float that someone else had delivered for a certain Villa Blanca party in Beverly Hills, but again, I digress… Heather walks right up to Lydia and greets her very warmly. She civilly greets Alexis with a “Hi, nice to see you” which to me, was perfectly acceptable in this situation. However, in her talking head, Alexis said that it sounded phony – Wasn’t that one of their big beefs with Alexis last year – that she acted too phony? Alexis goes right up to Tamra and says stuff like, “I know we have our differences, it’s just as a business woman it’s just not easy, and hats off to you – Congratulations” and then she hands her a bottle of wine or something. Again, this seemed perfectly acceptable to me. Gretchen has no plan in how she’s going to deal with Alexis but she assures us that she is not going to out of her way to be cordial. Of course you’re not, Gretchen – We wouldn’t possibly believe you could behave like an adult or anything. Lydia introduces herself to Tamra and hands her a gift which is a very smart thing to do in housewifeland. Lydia looks around and exclaims that, “This spot is beautiful.” In a weird twist, Tamra suddenly takes Lydia and Alexis on a tour and she shows them the renderings of where all the equipment will be when it’s all finished. As they’re all sitting back down again, Alexis just couldn’t help herself and says that it takes a lot to open a business – even a small dress business, which of course she’s alluding to her almost defunct business endeavor from last season. Crickets chirp. Lydia astutely says in her talking head that the room feels like everyone is friends but that the 3 of them aren’t able to sit with the cool girls. I wonder if Gretchen has stolen her lunch money yet? Lydia says she must be crazy for agreeing to attend this party… Yep, you are! Lydia apologizes to Tamra for her not knowing that she was going to attend. Tamra said no, that she knew she was coming. Lydia says it’s not usually her style to attend a function at the last minute. Alexis then bizarrely starts asking for a knife – thankfully, it was only to cut the tension…
Awkward…awkward… awkward… Tamra asks Lydia if she has any kids – and Lydia responds that she has 2. Tamra says she has 4 kids and Lydia exclaims, “And look at you!” Not to be ignored, Heather reminds us that she also has 4 kids, and Lydia graciously includes Heather in the “OMG you have 4 kids and you look hot” portion of our program. In an effort to include Gretchen in the conversation, Lydia asks Gretchen if she has kids. Using as few words as possible, Gretchen dryly responds, “No.” Lydia continues to try to find common ground or to make small talk with Gretchen with the “Are you married?” question. In another evidence of Gretchen’s ability to be an adult, she wryly again says, “No.” Lydia continues to gush, “Well certainly, you must have a boyfriend – look at you!” Finally, Gretchen manages to squeeze out more than just a monosyllabic answer because she’s just been complemented and says, “Yes, I have someone I’ve been with for 4 years.” Then Gretchen blathers on about how he is a wonderful guy or some such nonsense. Gag.
Suddenly, it’s time to toast Tamra…(I would have preferred to roast Tamra, but then that’s just me) Cheers! Go big or go home… It’s impressive… It’s industrial… It’s conveniently across the street from Vicki’s insurance company! Jeckle (Gretchen) is whispering into Heckle’s (Tamra) ear that it’s all about Vicki again and that she always makes it all about herself. Has Jeckle looked in the mirror recently? Vicki says no it’s not… it’s about Tamra… Alexis tries to make a lame joke about people may need insurance after they hurt themselves while working out… Vicki says she has a baby now… Jeckle cackles, “You’ve had a baby?” No dimwad, she didn’t have a baby, but she’s a new grandmother and her family has a new baby. Who says this crap? Gretchen wants clarification on if Vicki’s insinuating that she actually had a baby. Ummm… no… there’s a new baby in their family, you idiot. Vicki leans over and explains to Lydia that Gretchen is a stupid person in a loud enough voice for Gretchen and everyone else to hear. Tamra asks for clarification, “Who is a stupid person? Gretchen?” Vicki stands by her words and says, “Yes. The fact that she would call me out on saying “my baby/our baby” is just stupid to me.” Tamra doesn’t think calling Gretchen a stupid person is a very nice thing to say. It wasn’t a nice thing to say – but really, how much stupid can a person take? In her talking head, because she’s not brave enough to say it to Vicki’s face, Tamra says, “The fact that she said, “My baby” – does she nurse him, too?” In her best Captain Obvious voice, Vicki explains, “It’s Briana’s baby. Everyone knows it’s Briana’s baby… I’m a very proud grandmother and I love that child. If anyone looks on that as being negative – Shame on them.” In a seemingly sincere effort to change the subject, Heather laughingly asks, “Is dinner ready?” Yeah, and I want to know if Tamra’s serving onion rings!
As they sit down for dinner, Tamra announces that they have a psychic that’s coming and that they’re going to bless the building…Vicki raises her glass and as part of her toast, she thanks Tamra for letting her bring Alexis along and that this is like a turning of the page – a starting off with a clean slate type of thing. Since Tamra is incapable of acting like an adult, Tamra says that wants to be 100% honest… Tamra turns to Alexis and says point blank that she doesn’t understand why she wanted to come to the party. Alexis honestly replies, “Tamra, if you didn’t want me to come, then you could have simply said ‘No – I don’t want to ruin it for all these people’.” Tamra said she was a little bit blindsided by Vicki’s request for her to attend. Vicki says that Alexis is not an evil person – and Heather puts in her two cents and says that no one is saying that she is. Vicki says that Alexis is supporting your business. Tamra says the last she knew was that Alexis’ husband was putting it out to the world that they were going to sue Tamra – and Alexis said, “Well, it shut you up.” Rut roh. Tamra said, “When you go out there and you make accusations that I’m not a godly person…” Alexis says she’s never made an accusation about Tamra but Tamra insists that she has a list of accusations she’s made. Lydia looks like she’s going to throw up. Alexis says to Tamra, “Did you want this to be a lovely night? Then don’t do this here…I’ll go to lunch or dinner… I’ll do anything you want…I don’t want to ruin your party…” Gretchen then says that if Alexis had wanted this to be a lovely night then she wouldn’t have come in the first place. Alexis wonders why Gretchen is so worried about her being there or not – since it doesn’t concern Gretchen. Gretchen says, “Because she [Tamra] is the person I’m concerned about.” Alexis said, “She should have said, “No.” Alexis said it’s because she’s trying to be a friend to Vicki but that she’s not going to sit there and be ganged up on again… Gretchen suggests that Alexis leave. Heather wants to know why Alexis is looking at Heather cuz she hasn’t said anything. Alexis said she never even looked at Heather… Heather puts up her hand in a “talk to the hand” gesture and says an adult like, “Whatever.” In a mocking way, Alexis says, “Oh yeah, put your hand up – that’s scary.” Stars giggled at that one. All Lydia could say is, “Oh my goodness.” Heather tells Alexis to stop with the bullying and Tamra and Heather cheerfully clink their glasses together as if they’ve just bullied everyone into their royal places. Alexis says to Tamra, “If you want to have a conversation with me on a one-on-one later – I will.” She says the same thing to Heather but Heather wants no part of it, and would Alexis stop pointing her finger at her. Like the true, classy adult she is, Heather says this is so juvenile and that she’s done. And because she’s an actress you know, for dramatic effect – she takes her flat outstretched palm facing towards herself and dramatically from above her head down to the table, she closes an invisible shield and says, “I just glazed.” To further evidence her maturity level, Heather says, “By the way, I can’t even hear you anymore” while her fingers are in both ears and she’s singing “Lalalallalala”… Wow.
Tamra says, “Listen, this is a night when I wanted to be with my closest friends and I think I’m being very gracious to allow you to step foot in here tonight.” Alexis explained that Vicki had tears in her eyes when she asked her to come with her to tonight’s event. We see a snippet from a previous season when they were in San Francisco and Alexis is trying to get Vicki to take some accountability for what she says, blah blah blah… Gretchen tells Alexis that she was the leader of the pack in San Francisco and that she turned everyone against Vicki. Okay, you guys have to pick a topic and fight about it – all these ancillary ancient situations just make my head spin. Then they bring up Costa Rica again… holy cow… Heather tells Alexis that she has a very strange relationship with the truth… Alexis and Heather are going at it… Tamra butts in… Alexis tells her to butt out… Tamra goes rhymingly ballistic… “Butt out? You get the f*** out…GET OUT!” Tamra throws her napkin dramatically down on the table and gets up to manhandle Alexis to get her to leave… Alexis is saying, “Don’t touch me.” She’s gladly leaving… As Alexis leaves, Gretchen claps wildly like the lil school girl she is while saying, “Thank God – Get the negative out of here.” No wait, you’re still there, Gretchen – You’d also have to leave for the negative to even begin to get out of the room. Alexis starts to say something but Tamra puts her fingers in her ears and shrieks, “Lalalallalala” Wow… Alexis leaves while Tamra is still yelling “Get out!” Then Tamra turns to Vicki and screams, “Sorry Vicki, you have to choose your side right now…if you’re going to side with her then you get the f*** out, too!” Tamra’s DONE! So am I…