From Kim Zolciak: “Tonight’s episode if Dont be Tardy I have been dreading for months!!! Ill be watching with you guys!! 10pm tonight!!!!!”
I’m never one to miss a trainwreck so if I’m home I’ll be tuning in – NMD!
Real Housewives of Orange County
This episode starts with Terry and Heather getting ready to go out somewhere. In possibly one of the grossest scenes ever, Terry is actually cutting his toenails. He might as well use a hacksaw. Terry nicely asks Heather if she wants to cut his toenails… but of course she doesn’t – because we know she’s still mad at him. Ewww… do we really need to watch this? Okay, Dear Bravo – One good way to get even LESS people to watch your gooberhead shows is to have the opening scene involve someone cutting their toenails! Holy Crap on a Cracker! Terry says he doesn’t know what else Heather wants him to do – since he’s already apologized. I know what I want you to do, Terry – I want you to STOP CUTTING YOUR TOENAILS ON CAMERA! Heather says she works incredibly hard for this family and she wanted him to say, “Whatever you need, Pookie Wookie Puddin’ Pie” (I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what part of that he really said…) Terry says that he thinks that goes without saying… Finally, even Heather has had enough of Terry cutting his toenails and he asks him to stop and listen to her for 2 seconds… Heather thinks it’s tough to continually be on the “Terry Dubrow Show” She then lists all the hats she wears for the kids; she’s mom, cook, tutor, chauffer, laundress, housekeeper, coach, party planner, tutor, …etc. and Terry, in a Captain Oblivious kinda way, unfortunately points out that she said “tutor” twice… Heather says, “You are a jerk” and storms off… In his talking head, Terry smugly describes Heather as being a finely tuned violin – that if you pluck her strings too hard they’ll snap in your face. Okay, but here is what I thought it was interesting – Heather storms out into another room – which turns out to be a honkin’ and I mean HONKIN’ closet in which you could actually get lost. It was holy cow plush… you see like rows and rows of hanging clothes behind large paned glass doors. There’s a 2 foot vase on the edge of a center island with fresh flowers in it… I mean, really, when was the last time that you had a vase of fresh flowers in your closet? Terry makes his way into the closet apologizing the whole way and manages to find Heather in the maze of all the gorgeous clothes hanging everywhere. Heather is mad that Terry can’t stop joking and can’t even keep himself in check for a 30 second conversation… she’s done… then she tells him to “go” so she can get dressed.
Eddie and Tamra are excited that the wine came in for “Wines by Wives.” Tamra once again explains to us that it’s a wine of the month club that people get a bottle of wine each month that either she or Vicki picks out. Okay, I’m squinting my eyes and my brain to try to remember last week when they were moving into the new “Wines by Wives” corporate offices. Yes, one of the guys said, “No elevators.” Are they really going to distribute wine from this office location? Whoa… I mean who in the world would rent office space for a wine distribution company that’s not located on the first floor when there aren’t any elevators? That’s just bad, bad planning. It’s quite shocking, actually. They’re idiots. (Sorry, the preceding statement was solely the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the blog or of its’ affiliates.)
Well, color me surprised – they’re taking a wine tasting trip together in a limo! Eddie is happy they’re going on this trip because he will have a chance to ride his bike. Wait, I thought it was a wine tasting trip? Tamra doesn’t understand how Eddie can’t seem to go one day without riding his bike. Eddie tries to explain to her that it’s how he gets his energy – that it’s how he recharges. He says, “It’s like plugging a chord into the wall and recharging.” Tamra retorts, “You can plug into me – You’re starting to ride your bike more than you ride me.” Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, I start to inexplicably sing, “Save a horse, ride a cowboy.” Eddie sweetly smiles and says that he doesn’t get recharged from her. Gosh Eddie, why is that – because she may or may not have the right equipment, allegedly? Tamra is shocked and says, “You don’t?” Eddie says well, it’s a four hour bike ride – and it’s only a 2 minute ride with you. Tamra says it used to be a 5 hour ride… Eddie goes in for a kiss and Tamra backs away. He tells her not to be jealous… Wow, these two kids just might make it after all, no? Tamra tells us that if Eddie was having an affair that it would be with his bicycle… yeah, his bike named “Mike.” Allegedly.
Lydia, her hat and her husband Doug show up to Heather and Terry’s house… they’re invited in for a drink but Lydia declines because they’re on a time schedule to go get Vicki. Tamra and Eddie pick up Gretchen and Slade in their limo. Oh I get… it’s team limos again. Lydia, Doug, Heather, Terry and Vicki are in one; and Tamra, Eddie, Gretchen and Slade are in the other. Vicki says it really sucks to be a single girl on a couple’s trip.
Everyone arrives at the Cielo Wineyards in Malibu in their two limos… I wonder if they waved at Yolanda on the way? Even though we saw the sign for “LAX” airport – it only takes like an hour and a half to get to Malibu from Orange County. Tamra tells us that there are lots of things they need to get accomplished while they’re there. They have to taste wines (duh), talk about prices, talk to the owners and see if they’re interested in being represented in the wine club. This is a business trip, daganbit! Seriously, images of a certain RHONJ Napa Valley trip fly into my head. Once they get to their destination, Lydia gives Gretchen and Slade a greeting card. Lydia tells us in her talking head that she can’t imagine having a sick child that it would be the hardest thing in the world. She knows that Gretchen and Slade are having a hard time. She and Gretchen haven’t really clicked yet… so she thinks that this may be a way they can bond…. Gretchen says that it’s the first time that she thought Lydia had a really good heart. You kind of didn’t have to give her the greeting card on camera – could have snail mailed it, no?
They stand around outside and begin to taste some wines. They start off with a White Rabbit Chardonnay… cheers… they all drink it down… then Purple Haze… Heather tells us, “The wine is quite lovely, but nothing equals ‘The Champs’.” If you really want to be in the cool kids’ club, call it “Chumps” to Heather’s face, I dare you!.” Tamra, who is a partner in a wine distribution company, mind you… doesn’t claim to be a “sommelier” or a “tamaleyay” but instead considers herself to be a professional wine drinker. Oh I get it… she was making a joke! Gretchen also says of herself that she doesn’t have a very sophisticated palate – but if the wine tastes good, then it’s good! Vicki asks what the price point on that particular wine…. Tamra says they just asked… and the vineyard owner is hugging his adult daughter and is very happy she’s not berating him right now. He was clearly going to say something else, but before he has a chance – Vicki blurts out that she kinda thought they might have been a couple and that she thought, “Wow, he’s really robbing the cradle.” Awkward, Party of 1 – Oh Vicki, Vicki, Vicki… Heather thinks that saying something like that is like asking someone if they’re pregnant if you’re not sure. Then because Vicki just can’t move on, she continues to talk about it – she explains she was confused because they were “like lovey dovey” and touchy and stuff… lol… She looks at the others like, did you get it? Ummm, yes, because he introduced her as his daughter. Vicki insists in her talking head that everyone must have been thinking the same thing as she was because after all they all live in Orange County and that they’re lying if they didn’t think the same thing. I get that she’s implying there are lots of older men with young, hot girls at their side – but come one… You know it’s pretty bad when Tamra, Queen of Rude, is looking at you like you’re an alien for saying what you just said. Then, Heather, you know the one who was so danged indignant just a moment ago about what Vicki just said, has the audacity to ask the daughter her age in front of God and everyone else. She’s 24, by the way. Umm… Since when is it appropriate to ask a woman her age – especially someone who is a potential professional business partner? I mean there are polite ways to find that crap out. Then, in this week’s installment of, “I kid you not” – Vicki quickly reassures the daughter that she “Looks way older than 24.” What?? Wow…. The daughter stammers, “Thank you, I think.” Yeah, I’m not sure how to take that one, either. Gretchen tells us that Vicki has this way of inserting not only her foot but her entire leg into her mouth. I agree. I think Vicki should chew slowly and carefully. Tamra concludes that maybe Vicki should just not talk at all.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, Alexis and Jim are going to a Grand Opening of a trampoline park in San Diego. Wow, I didn’t know they were opening two different trampoline parks! I knew of the one in Anaheim but they also have one in Chula Vista. Alexis has always been very proud of her husband and his business ventures. Alexis is glad she didn’t go with the rest of the women to the wine tasting. They’re glad you didn’t go either, Alexis. She divulged that she wasn’t even invited to Malibu. Alexis laughs it off by talking about how Tamra gets when she’s around wine. They arrive at the Grand Opening and Alexis is conveniently wearing “Sky Zone” blue… No really, she blends in with the colors of the trampoline park. Alexis says the facility looks “prettier” when there’s people. Don’t you want to just pat her on the top of her widdle pretty blonde head? They’re thanked by the representative from the Chamber of Commerce for investing into the city of Chula Vista. Alexis says that it sure makes any drama with the other women seem miniscule. It just cracks me up that the most prestigious person they were able to secure for this Grand Opening is a generic representative from a Chamber of Commerce? I mean, I’m really a nobody and even I could at least get a city or county official or two, a former Miss San Diego, etc. Yikes…
So the weary wine tasters are checking into Westlake Village Inn. People are asking if they’re all in the same building – and Vicki is saying that they’re not and that she’s separated from the pack all by her lonesome in another building. Terry and Lydia both graciously asks her to come stay with them… I didn’t understand this part of the conversation – but it was awfully nice of them to try to include her. But you gotta know that it’s rather hysterical to me, because the only thing I can imagine being more awkward than being the only single person on a couples’ trip – is being the only single person in a couple’s hotel room on a couple’s trip. Lol… Vicki tells us that it’s really weird checking into the hotel and everyone else is with their spouse… and it sucks to be a party of one. Tamra says rather loudly, “Are you crying?” Obviously, Tamra needs to take lessons from Adrienne Maloof on how to do her sing songy voice, “Someone’s crying!” Vicki insists that dust just flew into her eye – I think it must have been the dust fairy. Gretchen in a really vile talking head, mockingly cries while trying to imitate Vicki, “It’s so sad, it’s so horrible, I’m so sad, I haven’t been touched in 5 years… I want to tell Vicki to stop it and shut the h*** up.” So, so nice, Gretchen.
They sit down to dinner… Tamra starts a toast by saying, “Thank you guys so much coming out”… Wait, did Eddie come out? No, sorry… I misunderstood… I really wish he would come out – seriously. But that’s a whole other Oprah. Vicki interrupts and says, “Cheers to supporting Tamra and my “Wines by Wives.” Doug sweetly asked who picked out the wine they were drinking right then? Tamra raises her hand. Lydia divulges that the evening at Tamra’s didn’t go like she was used to when she got together with a group of friends. Slade quickly points out that it’s the all the same people with one notable exception. Well, that and the fact that the husbands or significant others are there, too. Lydia said well, everyone was so upset with Alexis and she was thinking, “Hello…nice to meet you” and Slade points out the missing element in the drama is Alexis. Tamra tells Lydia she thinks she handled herself well that night. Lydia says that she doesn’t think Alexis is an innocent white dove in this – but neither is anyone else. She says that she thinks Alexis is most hurt by Gretchen and that she misses her. Gretchen doesn’t understand that if she misses her so much then why she hasn’t called her? Gretchen confides she hasn’t received even a text from her during this whole time about Grayson. That’s really horrible, really – because you really hafta throw off all the piddly drama when someone’s life or death is at stake. Shame on you, Alexis – You should exemplify love during this dark time when your friend just may need you. I get that Gretchen said bad stuff… but come the heck on….
Tamra asks Heather about “Hot in Cleveland” and if she’s excited about it. She is and she sent everyone an email inviting them to the taping. Tamra, ever classy, asks her if she gets to make out with anybody during the show? Terry nervously laughs. According to Tamra, that’s the best part of being an actress. Tamra asks if she uses her tongue when she does on screen kisses. Heather says that it depends. Terry exclaims, “You told me there were no tongues.” I think Heather just wanted to flip Terry’s fig. Tamra just thinks it would be cool if you were married, and you had to do a kissing scene that you could just say, “It’s my job.” It’s like a free pass. Wow – and I say if you want to kiss someone so badly go ahead and leave and don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya! Terry says he doesn’t like that part… but then he starts to make a joke about sitting there watching his wife kiss another actor while he’s thinking, “Wow, she is making so much money for this scene…keep it going.” However, Heather is clearly not in the mood for Terry’s jokes.
Tamra not-so-sweetly asks Vicki how things are going with “Vicki’s Vodka” then tells us that Vicki never told her directly that she had launched a vodka line – that she had to hear about it from someone else, “Thank you, partner.” Tamra asks her if it’s keeping her busy? This is a thinly veiled snipe from last week’s episode when Vicki didn’t show up to help them move into the new “Wine by Wives” offices. Yes, between “Vicki’s Vodka, insurance and life – it’s all keeping her pretty busy right now. Vicki tells us that she’s putting most of her energies into “Vicki’s Vodka” since that’s where she sees the most potential for big rewards coming from – or in layman’s terms – that’s where she will make the most money since she doesn’t have to split the profits with another housewife. She tells Tamra that most of the Vegas casinos are going to be carrying “Vicki’s Vodka” Tamra astutely asks her if she can use those same connections to put the “Wines by Wives” there, too? Vicki says they’re just not set-up that way – she tells her the business models are different. I think Tamra had good instincts because at first look the businesses are both alcohol-related. However, they’re really selling two completely different things. “Wines by Wives” is not selling the actual wine – but rather a membership into a wine club. I’m not sure what she was thinking she wanted to put into casinos – it couldn’t be the actual wine itself – because it changes each month. Flyers? Advertisements of some sort? But Tamra assures us that if the wine club was called “Wines by Vicki” that it would be a whole other story. In her talking head, Vicki says she can do whatever the heck she wants…she can do Vicki’s wine, Vicki’s vodka, Vicki’s cigars…Tamra is not the only one who can have her own business. Tamra’s pissed at all the energy Vicki’s putting into these other business ventures but not in “Wine by Wives.”
The next day everyone meets for brunch. Vicki sits at the head of the table. Eddie and Slade have gone on a 6 hour bike ride. Terry is jealous. It’s okay, because they’re missing out on the Bloody Mary’s that are being served. Tamra is complaining about Eddie being gone… and then says that he can’t have sex before he rides because it throws his mojo off. She says Eddie says that it makes him less aggressive on his rides. “That is so not true,” according to Terry, “They’ve done studies.” Tamra says that when he comes home he is as horny as heck. “Oh, well, then let him ride,” says Terry. They start talking about whether that’s a conversation that Tamra needs to have with him or not – since marriage is compromise, etc. Tamra says he’s always ridden his bike… Terry politely asks if he could say something and Heather asks him when has she ever been able to keep him from saying something. Giggles. Heather cautions Terry before he talks that the ice he’s on is already scarily thin… Vicki playfully asks him if he’s in trouble again? Terry says, “Yes,” and explains that he’s said some things that were not cool… “Things to whom?” asks Tamra. To Heather… and yes, he’s apologized, he’s been apologizing – it’s a process. Then in an irritating condescending, mothering voice, with a wink Vicki says, “Heather, you need to accept his apology and move on.” Heather explains that she has accepted his apology, but it’s when his behavior changes that she’ll believe and they can move forward. They ask him what he did and said. Terry summarized that instead of being supportive of Heather’s new acting opportunity that he was “goofy.” Heather tells them that instead of expressing his support and that things would get handled for the week she would be working, that he did his usual jokey thing. Tamra wonders if that’s how he shows his love to her? Heather says, “No!” Tamra thinks she knew about his sense of humor before she got married to him. Heather did know he was a little funny, but it wasn’t always done at her expense. Then Terry goes on to say that he wanted to end the fight and said, “That’s enough.” And he got mad and that he said things that were horrible – the kind that you can’t take back. Heather tells him not to go into it… but he inexplicably continues on to say he used the “D” word…Heather tells him don’t say that… he says, “Divorce.” Vicki inaudibly gasps… It’s embarrassing to Heather that Terry is bringing this up and going into this level of detail. She doesn’t think people should know about what goes on behind closed doors – that it’s private. Tamra cautions them never to get used to saying the “D” word – cuz that’s what happened with her. Vicki explained that she and Don would use the word “divorce” as a term, “If you don’t do this more, we’ll get a divorce, if this doesn’t happen, then we’re going to get a divorce… and then finally after 10-12 years of saying stuff like that, each time you say it is like a brick and you build a wall so high you can’t see each other through it. No matter how hard Vicki and Don tried to tear down that wall they just couldn’t do it – they couldn’t forgive and take away those words. Heather cries and says she wants what she gives into the family… and she doesn’t think it’s too much to ask, and Terry agrees.
The bikers are back and Eddie is immediately chastised for wearing a hidden fanny pack because it makes him look chunky. Yeah, that’s a great thing to say to someone just back after a 6 hour Mike ride… errrr… bike ride while you sat on your dupa eating and drinking. Everyone is done with brunch… but Eddie wants to eat real quickly and take time to breathe. Tamra tells him they’ve been waiting for them and that he should eat fast. Tamra needs to go get changed. She’s cranky that Eddie is committed to riding his bike all the time, however, when it comes to their wedding he is not committed to anything. Tamra tells him to try not to be too long. No, he’s going to eat quickly. Eddie goes in for another kiss… but first Tamra needs to tell him again that he’s late – but he’s sorry, it just took longer than he thought it would… and Tamra says, “It always does.” The scene ends with Tamra walking off and Eddie saying, “Uh oh.”
They go back to Cielo Wineyards for a real wine tasting. At first Vicki is tasting wine with the others – but then Tamra takes over and starts to talk price points, etc. Tamra wants to come up with her own blend and call it, “Too Good to Throw.” Vicki steps 4 feet away and tries on a jacket, that’s part of stuff you can buy in the winery. She explains to Terry, “Obviously, I’m not part of the wine tasting right now – so I’m shopping.” Meanwhile, Tamra complains to Gretchen, “Is she tasting wine, or is she just…” Tamra doesn’t understand why she needs to try on coats cuz they’re there to taste wine. Vicki tries on a coat and says she thinks it “Faux.” It had better be “faux” because the only thing that’s more disgusting than a person who lives in Orange County who owns one fur coat is that same person owning two fur coats. Tamra encourages Vicki to come over and taste wines. Vicki says in her talking head that just because Tamra has been tasting more wine than she that it doesn’t make her a better business partner – it just makes her more drunk. It’s hard to discern how much time passes… but the editing makes it appear like a moment later Vicki asks Tamra if they mind if they scoot out… because she needs to be in LA for a dinner. Vicki asks, “You guys okay?” Tamra responds, “No, yeah, you’re good.” Tamra doesn’t want to be in business with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be there. As they’re walking out, Lydia says she thinks Vicki and Tamra should have a business meeting. Vicki says she needs to leave and that she’s already an hour and a half late for dinner with 10 of her friends. Lydia asks Tamra if she’s okay with that… and Tamra says she’s not okay with that… Tamra is not okay with it because they’ve put a lot of money into this – I’m guessing Tamra means they’ve put money into the business. Vicki thinks they’ve made the best out of it… Vicki doesn’t want to go into it right now. She tells Tamra, “If you want to stay and keep drinking, that’s fine.” Tamra thinks Vicki is not engaged in the business but Vicki doesn’t want to get into a fight in front of everyone. Vicki’s had this dinner engagement for six months… Tamra says that if this was about “Vicki’s Vodka” that she wouldn’t be leaving right now. (You see Lydia and Doug exit, stage left around this point…) Vicki doesn’t understand why Tamra is picking this fight with her right now. Tamra expresses that when Vicki says she’s doing this and that for “Vicki’s Vodka” that she doesn’t see that same level of energy being put in “Wines by Wives.” Vicki says that she does a lot of things that Tamra doesn’t ever see for “Wines by Wives.” Tamra says she does things that Vicki doesn’t see, aslo. Tamra tells Vicki she’s not performing. Vicki tells Tamra she’s not performing. Vicki walks off and says, “Please, you THINK you’re performing.” Tamra says to Vicki’s back, “You’re such a b***, you really are.” Vicki responds, “Tamra, go get happy somewhere… you’re a miserable person.”
Heather and Terry walk up to Vicki as she’s leaving – and they’re trying to figure out the ride situation. Heather echoes Lydia’s sentiments that she thinks that she and Tamra need to sit down and have a meeting. They’re not on the same page right now in business or in friendship and Heather thinks it’s sad. So in an act of pure professionalism, Tamra asks the Vintner and daughter who are conducting the taste testing, “Was it me or was she disengaged?” Tamra explains that Vicki was over there – and so she asked the Vintner if he thought Vicki was even trying… and he concurs that she wasn’t – then he clarifies that she wasn’t trying as much as Tamra was. It’s so professional, to trash talk your partner in front of potential supplier and encourage him to do the same, no? In her talking head, Tamra says that Vicki planned this dinner knowing that they would be wine tasting that weekend. I don’t know about that… By the way, you guys had to wait and wait for your Mr. Bikeman to complete his ride before you all could even go to the winery – that’s why everything was running late, ya goofball. Tamra chooses what the winery calls “Purple Haze” and “The Witch” to be her own personal blend, “Too good to Throw.” Insert gratuitous “rich witch b***” joke here… I’m so not going to bring up the evil eye or anything right now… lol.
Terry and Heather separate out from the pact, and Terry asks her, “So, are we okay?” “You mean after brunch?” Terry says he feels weird that he talked about the “D” word to Heather’s friends… Heather would have preferred it to have stayed between them. He explains that he knows he made a huge mistake and he wanted to own up to it. Heather says she’s a little embarrassed. Terry said it was a stupid thing for him to say and he’s so sorry and that he loves her. Heather said she’s knows he’s sorry and she knows he loves her – but it’s about the punitive nature of the conversation. It’s not about the actual content. Heather tells us that she knows Terry doesn’t want to divorce her – but that he’s saying it to purposefully hurt her and that’s like a slap to her. She doesn’t think that she says things to purposefully hurt Terry. Heather suggests that they just get through the next week – let her have her moment… and then they’ll pick this subject up after that…
Vicki is at Coto Insurance office and Briana brings Troy in to see her. Briana starts to complain again that the only way to see Vicki is when she’s at work because she’s there all the time. Isn’t that what Don used to say all the time? Ryan’s working all the time, too. Briana tells us that having a baby is a beautiful miracle but it also sucks. You try to make him happy… but sometimes you just don’t know what to do. Vicki tries to recap Malibu… Vicki said that she would ask a question then Tamra would overpower her and say, “No, we’re not doing it that way.” Briana points out the obvious that isn’t Vicki the business woman? Vicki says she had plans to go see her friends … Briana said, yeah, you had those plans for a while… Vicki says, “Yeah, for three months”… Wait, I thought it was six months just a couple of paragraphs ago? Vicki says if Tamra is so willing to call her a “B***” to her face that she can’t imagine what she’s calling her behind her back…is that who you want as your friend?
Eddie and Tamra are at 242 Café and they order sake. Tamra asks Eddie if the “foreign guys” showed up today? Did she really just say that? The second week in a row she says something inherently racist? Tamra asks if they got the flooring down, finally? Eddie says they have half of it done – but that it’s a lot of work… so much is going on at the same time. Tamra wants to know if they are going to make it time for the Grand Opening? Eddie tells her, “No.” Tamra is concerned that she’s putting in too much time in “Wines by Wives” and not putting enough time into the fitness studio. They talk about the Malibu trip – and Eddie says that if had just been Terry and Heather – that he wouldn’t have gone on the bike trip… but since everyone was there that he just didn’t want to spend that much time with everyone. They talk about Vicki and about how they didn’t understand why she was even there. Eddie doesn’t understand why Tamra’s partners with her. In one of the most honest, self-reflective scenes I’ve ever seen Tamra take part in, she says how she goes from tasting wine one minute to screaming, “You’re a b****” the next minute. She feels like she just lost it. Tamra said she has a really hard time with communicating. She said feels like she doesn’t say the right things and that she thinks she’s gonna screw-up. She doesn’t know how to talk about emotions and she doesn’t know why…. Well, she kind of knows why. She explains that they didn’t talk about anything when they were growing up and that they just swept things under the rug and moved on. In her talking head, Tamra says she thinks she and Eddie get along so well because neither of them talk about their past. We don’t talk about things like that. Tamra says the only way she knows to express how she feels is to scream and yell – that she can’t physically just sit down and talk – that she’s physically unable to do it. Tamra says that she feels like a piece of crap when she says something to hurt someone and that she doesn’t actually mean to hurt them. She says that she hates it when she hurts someone’s feelings – but she does it over and over again and she can’t stop it. Tamra thinks her lack of communication ultimately makes her look like a b*** because people don’t know why she’s freaking out – they don’t know why she’s mad. Eddie says, “Well, if you keep it bottled up for the rest of your life, it’s not going to be good for the rest of your life – it’s not going to be good for us, either.” Tamra says she just can’t continue to go on like this in life. Wow… is there hope?
Dancing with the Stars by Lisette
Welcome back everyone to the semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars! The stars are dancing two dances today so they get right to it…
Kellie & Derek – Argentine Tango – Score 30
- CAI – 10
- LG – 10
- BT – 10
Obligatory previews of how difficult it is to learn two dances for today. They show again Len’s meltdown from last week. Onto the dance…The Argentine tango is my favorite dance style and Kellie & Derek do not disappoint. They start in front of an all red background so they are in silhouette and the effect is beautiful. Kellie has beautiful lines and Derek’s choreography is spectacular. Kellie does this split lift spin that was perfectly executed. Len called it a mix of pride and joy, pride in the technique, joy in the performance. He goes shut up close the door and call me Mary that was fantastic! Len LOVED it! Bruno welcomes Len to the side of the sublime. He said the silhouette section was perfection (I agree) and he compared her to Chita Rivera. Carrie Ann said it was perfection and outstanding. Also praised the silhouette dancing.
You may have read that Karina was injured during rehearsals yesterday. So of course they must show how she injures herself over and over and over. I bet they make Karina dance last so they can show this clip before every commercial break. I swear the producers live for moments like this and it is sad.
Ingo & Kym – Samba – Score 24
- CAI – 8
- LG – 8
- BT – 8
Dance rehearsals…this is so hard….we have to push ourselves…blah, blah, blah…The dance is a really slow version samba. For a man that plays a sexy man on General Hospital Ingo is really stiff. I do commend him for making it this far but I hope he goes tomorrow. The judges are somber…LOL! Bruno says he can see Ingo puts the work in but he’s not quite there. And of course Bruno has to gyrate his hips to show how exaggerated Ingo rolled his hips. Carrie Ann called him inconsistent and that she’s looking forward to his Charleston. Len says through the darkest clouds a ray of sunshine comes through. He said Ingo basically did the best he could with what he had and said it was well done.
Alexandra & Mark – Rumba – Score 30
- CAI – 10
- LG – 10
- BT – 10
The dance rehearsals show them learning Afro jazz first and this dance is right up Mark’s alley with all the weird exaggerated face movements Mark like to make. Aly is having a hard time with that. Then they show the rumba and how Aly has to be slow and sexual and well let’s see how the dance goes…The audience loves it and Carrie Ann is wooing loudly and Bruno can’t contain himself. Carrie Ann says she’s a woman all woman and that she drew us all in the dance and it was all right there. Len said had romance but wasn’t raunchy, said it was performed beautifully. Bruno said the transformation is complete the butterfly has such beautiful wings. He called her flow of movement was perfect.
Jacoby & Karina – Tango – Score 30
- CAI – 10
- LG – 10
- BT – 10
Jacoby is having a hard time getting the dances and he’s getting frustrated. Then they show Karina’s accident but they’re dancing so I guess she’s OK. If you missed the clip don’t worry. I’m sure they will show it a few more times tomorrow. They’re dancing the tango on an elevated platform. The effects add a nice element to the dance. Unfortunately Jacoby looks a little stiff and at times gangly. Let’s see what the judges have to say…Len loved it! He said ka-ching right on the money that was brilliant! Bruno said the sexual tension was unbearable but he says it was so sleek and refined best performance ever from Jacoby. Carrie Ann asks for a kiss and then she proceeds to gyrate and flip her hair back and forth. That’s all she had to say.
Zendaya & Val – Quickstep – Score 25
- CAI – 8
- LG – 8
- BT – 9
Zendaya is happy with hip hop but not Val as he’s never danced it before. They had to bring in Zendaya’s hip hop coach and Zendaya is loving knowing more about a dance than he does. But first the quickstep…The start the dance with a bit of race car theatrics. Not sure Len will like that. I don’t think this is one of her better dances. They also put bell bottoms on her costume and they are very distracting. She’s out of breath at the end which just goes to show the quickstep wears everyone out! Bruno called it a quickstep for the next generation. He said it was so fast and so furious and it was a fantastic effort but she lost her footing. Carrie Ann called it kind of a mess. Carrie Ann said it seemed like they were dragging each other through the dance. Len thought parts of the dance were fabulous but the speed was too intense and he was out of breath watching it. I agree the dance was too ambitious and it didn’t work.
Kellie & Derek – Flamenco – Score 28
- CAI – 9
- LG – 10
- BT – 9
This is the part of the show where we see videos of our dancer’s early years and you get to see and hear the people from their lives talk about them. Kellie is up first. Abandoned by mother, alcoholic and drug addicted father that was incarcerated most of her life and raised by grandparents. Fast forward to American Idol and her career now touring and singing. Now onto the dance…The dance was good and for Derek never dancing it before he was really good (duh). Kellie seemed unsure of herself at times. I wonder if the judges will pick up on that. They ended it on a great lift and overall a good effort. Would love to see this dance added to the regular rotation. Tom agrees saying we should do this dance more often. Len says she’s small but her talent is huge and as far as he’s concerned she just booked her place in the final. Bruno says there were a couple of moments when she lost her flow but it was very good. Carrie Ann said she tensed up towards the end and Kellie said her dress weighs a ton so maybe that was it. Carrie Ann didn’t get to finish her critique and Derek carried Kellie up the stairs. Kellie looks beat. Bruno held up the wrong paddle and caused some confusion but it was clarified he meant a 9 even though he held up the 10. Tom called it a Freudian paddle…LOL! Tom’s a gem!
Ingo & Kym – Charleston – Score 27
- CAI – 9
- LG – 9
- BT – 9
Ingo grew up in Germany until he was 10 when the family moved to Australia to live off the land. Fast forward to General Hospital. He’s been on GH for 18 years. Ingo lives in Hawaii where he met his wife. He’s a family man and his friends see him in the finals. Onto the dance…This dance looks a bit of a hot mess. Ingo’s timing was off and Kym and he weren’t in sync. It was like too much was going on. Bruno called it frothy, bubbly, fun. Carrie Ann called it a grand slam and said his boo boos worked with the dance. Len called it bubbly and full of fizz. Called it his best dance.
Alexandra & Mark – Afro Jazz – Score 29
- CAI – 10
- LG – 9
- BT – 10
Aly & Mark are costumed like Lion King cast offs. I’m predicting colorful comments on the blogs tomorrow. Aly grew up in Needham, MA. Focus on her gymnastics career. Determination she shows in gymnastics is what she brings to DWTS. Comments and predictions from the Fab Five. Onto the dance…This dance was thumping! It was a lot of fun and you could tell Aly was really enjoying herself. They were out of sync once or twice but overall a really fun bouncy dance. Carrie Ann called it ridiculous and that people don’t know how hard of dance that was. She said every style was a whole different flavor and that they were perfectly in sync. Len said they were in perfect sync, he loved the musical interpretation. His only criticism is they danced mostly solo and he would have liked some connection. Bruno called her a bird of paradise and queen of the jungle. He said she exceeded all expectations and that she has shown incredible range in every type of dance and if she doesn’t make it to the finals then he will dance in his speedos!
Jacoby & Karina – Lindy Hop – Score 29
- CAI – 10
- LG – 9
- BT – 10
Jacoby always wanted to play football. He was skinny and little as a kid. But he didn’t let that stop him from getting on the team. His motivation on the football field translates to dancing. Now to the Lindy Hop…the most liveliest dance of the night!!!! That was pretty awesome and I loved it!!!! Len called it high energy full on action pack full on and fabulous. Called Jacoby out on a misstep but still loved it. Bruno called it a frantic frenzy of electricity. He said Jacoby nailed it. Carrie Ann is voting him #1 entertainer for season 16!
Zendaya & Val – Hip Hop – Score 30
- CAI – 10
- LG – 10
- BT – 10
Zendaya was a shy child and her mom was the one that got her into acting and entertaining. Her dad quit his job so that they could go to LA. Her mom stayed in Oakland. It was hard on Zendaya to not have her mom but she persevered to follow her dreams and get on the show Shake It Up. Onto the dance…Zendaya is in her element and Val looks pretty good for never having danced hip hop. The dance was like hip hop lite. It was done to a slow song and while not as much fun as the Lindy Hop still a good turn out. Bruno called it ridiculous and so chill. Zendaya forever. Carrie Ann said she killed it and that Val did a good job. Len liked that it was so chill and the rhythm was good.
So that’s the conclusion of the semi-finals. Who do you think will go home tomorrow?
Survivor Blood vs Water Rumors by NMD
Survivor Fans versus Favorites has barely wrapped up and the spoiler sites are brewing with news about the next season. Don’t worry super fans, I don’t have any spoilers about eliminations, but I do have a little bit of information about the format and cast, so please keep reading if you want to know…
The format is returning players and their plus one. It sounds like they’ll be put on opposing teams. Sorry MTH I know you were hoping for a whole new crew.
Some of the names that are surfacing as possible returnees are:
- Rob Cesternino (and his wife). Rob was on Survivor Amazon and an early All Stars, and has been said to be the best player to never win Survivor. He runs a web site and blogs reality shows, and is currently somewhat denying the rumor that he’s part of the new cast. We’ll see if he blogs Big Brother or disappears for a few months.
- Rupert Boneham. Yup – the big guy may be back. He was on Pearl Islands, All Stars, and Heroes vs Villains.
- Tina Wesson and her daughter. Tina won Survivor Australia Outback, and was the first person voted off on All Stars.
- Aras Baskauskas – winner of Survivor Panama
- Colton Cumbie – Survivor One-World (and one of the most hated contestants ever)
- Kat (survivor One-World – very annoying if I remember correctly)
- Gervase (from the original Survivor)
- RC (Survivor Philippines – she was the annoying investment banker),
- Laura (Caramoan I think – the one who was useless – not sure why she’s back)
- Tyson (Tocantins and Heroes vs Villains – he was less of a villain his second time around but fell for a Russel move and ended up being eliminated in a great Tribal Council which eventually led to Boston Rob’s alliance going home
- Monica (One-World).