Reflections on Real Housewives of New Jersey by NoMoreDrama
Disclaimer. I have become addicted to Mad Men. New Jersey – eh – only for the blog. And plus I was at a party and got home late, and only managed to watch about half of the episode.
From what I did see, this episode seemed to be about exploiting the children to gain a sympathetic edit. The kids got more airtime than the adults. If I was Gia I would have crawled in a hole when Teresa did the voice over about not having the talk about the birds and the bees until Gia had her monthly. Why in the world would she tell the world something that personal? (the last bit of my sentence). I’m flustered even typing it. What happened to the mom-code of silence on girl stuff? On another topic – Gia is way too involved in the Melissa-Teresa stuff. She’s 11. Fight your own battles Teresa.
Could Milania and Antonia have been more cute? They have a pureness that no amount of eye rolling and sulking by their moms can steal. Was this scene filmed out of sequence? They were talking about the girls’ communion dates (Antonia and Gabriella) which were months and months away if we were to believe the scene was filmed right after Sandy. My guess is the scene was filmed mid-way through the season and stuck in the premiere.
How cute was Mama Manzo and the child Joey Gorga. Another touching scene. Not. What I heard was this. Mel, “I wish Caro would mind her own business.” Caro, “It’s none of my business and I have my own problems.” Joey “crickets” Caro, “Since you begged me I’ll phone a woman I haven’t talked to in two years and give her advice about her own family that I know she doesn’t want.” Joey, “crickets.” Can you say set up storyline?
There you have it. Below is MelTheHound’s recap of last night’s show. My personal view on the autistic spectrum is that it’s a broad range and not something we fully understand today. I can empathize with Jacqueline and fully understand why she always seems to be having a nervous breakdown. She needs to be strong for her kids – not weak and unstable. I wish they hadn’t agreed to this being part of their storyline, but I suppose they had little choice. Now they’ve opened themselves up to being judged on their parenting style, which is really tough when there are cameras, a young child, and an unsympathetic viewing audience.
As you read the recaps, look at the spoof photos, and discuss the show, remember that these ladies and their husbands and adult children are all playing characters on a soft-scripted reality show. The only thing real about the show last night was Milania’s and Gabriella’s reactions at seeing each other after a year. Even Juicy Joe seemed like he was regurgitating lines that someone fed him. Don’t be upset if someone loves a character you hate, or hates a character you love. The show is edited to bring emotional responses. Let’s be strong and not let the show manipulate our real lives and reactions to each other. We can do it by continuing to see the ridiculous that this franchise has become.
Real Housewives of New Jersey – S5E1 – Buckle Up Buttercups by MelTheHound
Hello friends.. When I first started blogging, about anything, the last thing I wanted to write about in an official blog was any of the housewife franchises. So, why am I doing it now and why of all shows, RHONJ? Good question and when I come up with a good answer, I’ll fill you all in. In the meantime, here we are. Watching and discussing what is arguably the most divisive show that Bravo has to offer us. It doesn’t matter which ‘team’ you choose to support, there will be others opposing your viewpoint. That’s fine. All that is asked by our hostess and me as well, is that you express your opposition with some respect for one another. NMD has told us that if things get too nasty, towards each other, she will shut this down. Let’s remember that we were all civil toward one another before this hot mess of a show began, there is no reason not to continue that behavior. None of these hyenas on these shows are worth blowing friendships over as, I would bet good money, if there weren’t dollars involved, would not give us the time of day (Happy meetings like that of our Plainviewsue meeting Teresa not withstanding).
Honestly, if anyone had told me two years ago that I would even be spending time watching these shows, I would have told them they were nuts. I guess that makes me the nut for watching them. Further, if anyone had told me then that I would be here, discussing and even recapping these shows, I would have checked them into a rubber room with a straightjacket because Clearly, they would have been deemed certifiably crazy. Here we are however. Those of you who have read my recaps in the past know that I write what I see, as I watch. You also know that my reactions are sometimes a part of that writing. (Here is the disclaimer part) I do not go back and edit my reactions later in the show or based on what anyone else may say. I also don’t expect everyone or even anyone to agree with those reactions. They are opinion and that’s all they are. Everyone is free to offer theirs, I ask that you allow me that same courtesy. I also ask you to remember that everything we see and hear on these shows, has already happened and not necessarily in the order we are shown. While there may not be a formal script for these hyenas, Bravo and its production team clearly have story lines they think will keep us watching and (in this case) arguing. Let’s not give them the satisfaction of being at each other’s throats this time around. This is the only time I’ll put this disclaimer in the recaps.
Last night, June 1, we got one of Bravo’s ‘first look’ programs. These are the first 15 minutes of the upcoming episode designed, to entice us to watch the full show on its regular air date (in this case, Sunday at 8pm eastern time). The show opens with some flashback of all the nasty things that were said at the S4 reunion. One that sticks out in my mind, to this day, when I give it any thought at all, is the
Marcos Gorgas telling Teresa that they didn’t want their kids playing with the Guidice kids. Bad influence and all. That’s why they were selling their house and moving away. Now, I don’t believe a word that comes out of that Marco woman’s mouth but, it appears that sentiment is going to be a part of the season. We’ll get back to that in a bit. At the end of this preview, we also hear dear sweet Jacqueline state in her TH that Giudice and Gorga problems are right on top of her priority list along with getting her asshole bleached. It’s good to know that she bleaches (and I assume waxes) her behind but it really wasn’t info we need to hear. While I understand her meaning, I think she could have chosen a less blunt way to put it. Mainly because, I don’t believe her. I get the feeling I’m still going to hate Jacqueline this season. Maybe it’s just part of Bravo editing that is part of a bigger scene. My question was, if that’s the way she really feels then why is her nose so far up Teresa’s ass? I seem to remember the meeting on the deck where she told Teresa that for her own sanity, she was going to distance herself from Teresa. What ever happened to that or did I imagine hearing it?
Key: JoeT = Joe Giudice (T stands for Teresa), Joey = Joe Gorga, Momz = Caroline
Anyway, we get to see scenes of 3 of their shore houses post Hurricane Sandy. MeGo calls Sandy a bitch and for once, I agree with her. Each of, the Giudice’s, The Gorga’s and the Wakilies, visit their shore homes and all are completely trashed. Water was apparently 5 or so feet high inside these homes and everything was floating inside. I’m sure we are talking about salt water here too so everything that it touched, is likely destroyed. JoeT is shown already at work doing the demolition for rebuilding and refinishing when Teresa arrives. She’s disgusted by the sight of what has happened to her house and I can’t say I blame her. I’m sure everyone there felt the same way as for many, these are their Only homes rather than weekend getaway spots. Joe asks T if she’s heard from her brother.. She says no.. Apparently, they hadn’t spoken in months, probably since the reunion. Supposedly, she’s dead to him. Over at the Gorga’s,
autotune Melissa wants to know how the water even got inside the house. Umm, MeGo, that large body of water at what you call the shore? The Atlantic Ocean, It’s called water pressure and storm surge and it always wins. Just ask the folks in New Orleans, 9th ward, they’ll be happy to tell you. I know that’s stupid but so was that question. Joey says no problem, it’s all rebuild-able, just have to get to it. He is also lamenting the fact that he hasn’t heard from his sister. Phone rings both ways there, angel from God. Just sayin… During these scenes, Teresa and JoeT note that this disaster has been good for their economy. Given it a boost. Being in the construction business myself, I can agree with that sentiment but I don’t know how saying it is going to play out for them.
The final full scene we see on this preview is in the Giudice home. Teresa and the girls are gathering up fashionable items and toys to give away to the hurricane victims. After all, they need fabulous fashions to wear. I think Teresa used it as an excuse to clean out her closet and do something nice for the show (seemed rather staged to me) but it was a nice gesture to give away her Jerseylicious wares, shoes included. Milania is giving away her giant teddy bear, to a little girl or boy. Audriana, is having a ball running around in her mom’s shoes (cute) and takes a face plant right on the floor. She turns to the camera, smiles, gets up and walks away. Being tossed around by her bigger sister has turned that kid into a Sherman Tank. Teresa and Milania (now 6) were talking about Joey. Milania misses her cousin Antonia and her uncle and that other one, whose name she can’t remember (Gino)… Side note: It seems to me that Teresa and her SIL and by extension, brother, have been at each other’s throats that kid’s (Gino) entire life so it doesn’t surprise me that Milania barely knows the kid. This preview wraps with upcoming scenes of Joey talking to Momz about his issues with his sister. Wrong person IMO but we’ll see how it works out. I’ve already told you about the last part of this preview, Jac’s statement about her asshole. I’ll leave you with that thought as we get on with the rest of the show..
One more note here. I’m sure that all 4 of the families on this show did things to help victims of hurricane Sandy (and the following snowstorms). Regardless of how big or small and regardless of their perceived reasons for doing so, I’m not going to trash any of them for it. I have never been in that kind of need but I would hope, that if I needed it, my neighbors would be willing to lend a hand, as I would for them. I don’t think Charity should be measured in any way shape or form. Just accepted as the gift that it is and it isn’t fodder for thrashing someone. End Note.
I won’t be recapping the ‘first looks’ as previews every week (unless you want me to, Can you stand more than one Jersey blog per week? I’ll let you decide but if I do the first looks, the regular blog will pick up where those leave off), I just wanted to get a head start on this week’s blog. So, with that… Buckle Up.. Here we go.
(some of this may be a bit out of order. I’ve watched it twice and can’t do it again. So if it’s not exactly as it happened, or I miss something, apologies)
The rest of the show begins with Jac. She tells us that several months ago, her son was diagnosed with Autism, a developmental disorder. I guess one of the first things that happens with Autistics, is they lose the ability to verbally communicate (with words). Since it happens early, I don’t know how may words they lose but that’s what happens. In fact, if I am not mistaken, early signs of Autism are typically mistaken for a hearing loss because the kid stops responding to verbal ques. She wishes she had a highlighted map showing the path to a cure but no map exists. I don’t know if she’s deluded herself into thinking there Is a cure or if that’s just a mother’s wish. I would like to think the latter. Anyway, Apparently, they have just brought Nicolas home from pre-school or whatever program they have him in. She reads from his notebook what he did that day (rather than him being able to tell her). As the Lauritas are all crowded around this kid, trying to get him to do some brain exercise, he would rather play with the iPad and is having a bit of an episode showing his displeasure. Something that I would expect from any 3yo kid. Eventually he says, “iPad” and they consider that a victory. While they were all home during Sandy, Jac was able to work with him constantly and this was the result. That’s great. Until he calls the dog, iPad.
I’ve told you all before about my friend Janet, on YouTube (madrosed) who has a now 20yo Autistic son. He has it pretty bad, complete with seizures. He is now 20 and this coming year will be his last in his vocational type school he is in. I’m sure those of you with Autistic kids know the type of school I’m talking about. Once he’s finished with that at age 21, he’s done. He has the mentality, I would say of about an 8 or 9 year old. At least outwardly so. No one really knows what goes on in his mind. When he speaks, it’s usually parroted words fed to him. The entire family and his teachers has been working with him his entire life and right now, this is the best he can muster. He, most likely, will never know a life of independence. There are things he is good at but he needs almost constant supervision. Chris needs to get his wife off of this show, off of twitter and whatever other social media she’s addicted to, and handle their business with that kid. Not just wait for time off due to some natural disaster. For a long time, Nicolas is going to need 24 hour looking after. Nicolas, realistically, may be in diapers until he’s nearly a teen. I get that they are still feeling their way but this ride has just begun for them..
TH Chris wonders (jokingly) if the kid just doesn’t want to talk to any of them. If that were the case then I would (jokingly) say the kid is not Autistic but he is a brilliant genius with good taste in conversational company (may turn out to be one.. who knows?). I don’t really know a lot about this disease and I’m not going to dedicate a lot of time to these scenes. I don’t have any hopes of really learning anything from them as, I feel, that if it weren’t for Nicolas’ condition, Jac wouldn’t have a plot line. Yes, I think they are pimping their son for a storyline. That would be partially okay with me if Bravo were really interested in spreading awareness but we all know, that’s rarely the case. There just isn’t enough drama in a screaming kid to keep viewers watching in their minds. Maybe they will prove me wrong.
These next scenes already have me questioning timelines. Joey wants to go out with ‘the boys’. I don’t know who the boys are and I guess we’ll never know because Melissa says no. He thinks she’s still spooked about the storms or maybe they are still happening. Who knows? She shows him a letter that Antonia wrote for a school assignment. It’s a typical type 3 or 4 line letter that a 2nd grader might write.. She’s addressed it to Milania. She tells Milania what she is doing and asks if her cousin is doing any of those things as well. She tells Milania that she misses her (These kids haven’t seen each other in over a year). Melissa decides to mail the letter at her daughter’s request. Since the adults have seen each other, the angel from god has told his sister that she’s dead to him. MeGo is still smarting from strippergate and will have nothing to do with Teresa until she owns up to being completely at fault for everything bad that’s happened in the last thousand years. The angelic Gorgas have nothing to do with anything that has happened, including saying that they don’t want their kids influenced by the Giudice girls. It’s all “inedible” says Joey, that when the adults are fighting, so too will the kids.
Skip ahead a couple days, the letter arrives to Milania (Milania and Audriana are wrestling over that giant teddy bear that she said she wanted to donate. Did she? How much time has really elapsed here?). I may have missed it but I didn’t notice a stamp on that envelope addressed to Milania nor was there a return address. In other words, I don’t think it came through the mail. Maybe I’m wrong. Anyway, Milania reads the letter and decides she wants to call her cousin. Meanwhile, Gia takes the letter and shows her father. We’ll get to that in a second. Milania wants a play date with Antonia. Antonia starts to tell her about her upcoming birthday party. I guess MeGo invited the kids of some of Teresa’s close friends to this party but didn’t invite her daughters. Through some twitter connection, Gia found out about it but Milania didn’t have a clue about it. Smooth Move there MeGo Exlax. Anyway, the planning of the play date is now in the works. Back to the garage with Gia and JoeT. She notes that she’s not able to see those cousins and hasn’t in over a year. Joe tells her that isn’t her fault or her sister’s, it’s the adults who are acting like idiots. It’s nothing the kids did but unfortunately, THEY (the Gorgas), use their kids that way. I’m sure this will come out in some later drama. We’ll stay tuned for that.
Let’s visit Kathy and Rosie and their mom for a moment.. I for one am sick of Rosie. I don’t give a damn that she’s a lesbian and don’t look forward to hearing about her lack of a dating and sex life. I believe that is the only reason she was cast for this show and it was played out two seasons ago. I just don’t give a shit. That’s just me. If you care that one of her hot online dating contacts turned out to be a 300 pound blond with nasty teeth, then maybe you’ll be more entertained by her than I am. As for Kathy, I would rather watch paint dry. Of course, the S4 reunion comes up as does Rosie’s outburst back stage. It isn’t her fault of course, that’s just how she rolls when you piss her off.
How about a visit to the Manzo residence. We all remember that Momz and King ALbert, moved to Hoboken (with Lauren in tow) last fall. Well, here is their apartment.. undecorated for the most part and there is a knock on the door. Surprise, it’s the Gorgas. We didn’t see Al but Momz welcomed (the invited) Gorgas to her new home. She’s downsizing but hasn’t decided to sell the house yet. If I’m not mistaken, she is in the same building as her sons or very close by. Fortunately, we weren’t exposed to them this evening. Even Melissa says that it seems she’s following her sons around NJ. Momz says that isn’t so, they barely see each other (cough cough bullshit). A little bit of a fun fact about this apartment is, they have a set of very high powered binoculars on a tripod pointed out the window. Maybe her sons live in the building across the way and she wants to keep her peepers on them, I don’t know. However, the things they have witnessed with them on family fun night are things that should remain private. Here is what I think. I think Momz and Al are taking a bit of a break and he’s living in the house and she moved to Hoboken to be closer to her boys. How far from this place is The Brownstone? Momz has said she’s not going to involve herself with the Gorga-Giudice drama. She notes Joey looks sad. They tell her about the invite for a play date. Momz goes into some dissertation about arguing siblings. We see a flashback of Teresa and Dina’s “blood is thicker than water” discussion at T’s Fabalini party. The fact that Momz and Dina no longer speak is also Teresa’s fault. Momz has no responsibility in that, just like the Gorga’s with Teresa. This evening ends with some uncomfortable banter and Melissa wishing Momz would mind her own business. It’s just weird to her. I agree (and it ain’t over).
The following day, Momz runs to Jac’s house to tell her about the previous evening. She starts in and then we cut to the TH where Jac says, that drama between Gorgas and Giudice’s rates right up there on her priority list with getting her asshole bleached. In the context, I would think it funny but we all know that Jac can’t mind her own business either.
Somewhere in all of this, we get another mother daughter shopping scene with Teresa and Gia… I swear Gia looks like she’s 15. She acts like she’s 25 but, she’s 11 in this scene. Gia doesn’t like her mom’s taste which is stuck in the 80s or perhaps, 90s, I don’t know for certain. Gia ‘likes’ a guy. Kind of shocking to Teresa who wants to know what’s going on. Overall, cute scene I guess with Gia rolling her eyes a lot. Throughout all of this time, this play date for Antonia and Milania is being planned. Even Gia gets in on the act when she types in a text message for her mom looking to suggest or confirm details. The detail that Teresa wanted confirmed but didn’t know how or want to ask, that Gia sent the text for, was that Teresa would accompany Milania on the play date. The two of them couldn’t seem to nail down the where or how. Neither one trusts the other with their daughter is what it seems to boil down to.
The big day
The day of the play date finally arrives. It’s going to be at this bead shop where the girls can make beaded jewelery. As Melisssa is getting ready to leave, Joey drops the info that Momz, wants a play date with him. Got that? She wants to meet with him over coffee and discuss his relationship with his sister. Mego, who I’m strangely kind of liking this episode, finds that just a bit odd. Joey doesn’t so he goes. We’ll get back to that in a minute.
The respective moms leave for the date and Teresa and Milania are the first to arrive. They are bedazzled by all the pretty beads and are looking around the place when Melissa arrives. The two little girls hug it out, Milania has a birthday present for Antonia.. An iPhone 5. She already has an iPhone 4. What the phuck does a second grader need a phone (any phone really) like that for? I asked my aunt what hers cost, she said nearly $1000. Anyway, TH Melissa says that the way to be a good aunt is not to buy expensive gifts but to apologize to the mother (her). I don’t like MeGo anymore. As the girls are trying to have some fun playing with the beads and making stuff, Melissa is directing them on how to do it. What colors to put where, etc. TH Teresa says just leave them alone and let them be kids for a minute. I agree.
Remember in the past I’ve said, that if you want to see where future drama is coming from, watch these ‘get togethers’. It’s usually a lunch or dinner party but in this case, a play date for two small girls. We have already seen this play out in real time but, Teresa asks MeGo about her plans for the girls’ communion. It’s May 11, 2013 for both of them. Ruhroh.. I wonder what staged bullshit we’ll see as a result. Let’s not forget about that birthday party the girls aren’t invited to. Stay tuned folks. The play date ends with the two pairs going their separate ways, with the girls crying that they cannot see each other more often.
Back to Joey’s play date with Momz… Basically she wants to keep harping on him with her motherly advice or big sisterly advice regarding his relationship with Teresa. He feels that Momz is like the sister he never had. Ummm, Okay. Maybe if he didn’t treat his real sister like shit for the sake of a reality show, he would have the sister he wants. Just sayin. The whole thing was just weird and creepy to me. Momz should follow her own advice and butt out. It can’t be that great because to our knowledge, she still isn’t speaking with Dina and who knows how many of her other siblings.
That’s about it folks. There wasn’t any arguing or fighting in this episode but we all know that tensioned peace won’t last long. We are treated to the preview of the upcoming season. There is some I’m excited to see and other stuff I’m dreading. I get the feeling it’s all in the same scene too. Overall, this episode seemed total typical bravo bullshit. Completely staged and manufactured at every turn. I’m already questioning timelines due to what I think is piss poor editing. However, I’m sure if we ask Fanny Andy, he’ll tell us this is exactly how it happened. Many are thankful though that the Manzoids weren’t shown, Fishy Richie barely made it on to this episode… Their cast blogs are already up from what I understand including The Manifesto (thank you VV 😉 ). I’ll say that during the chat, it was nice to see some familiar names that I had not seen in awhile. I hope you’re all doing well. I’ll see you next week, probably a day late though with the next recap. I don’t know if this recap is what you were expecting or hoping for but there it is.
Til next week, Peace. MTH.
Photos by Boston