Real Housewives of Orange County / Newlyweds: The First Year

Real Housewives of Orange County Photos by Boston

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Real Housewives of Orange County

by Stars99 

The episode opens with Lydia visiting Tamra’s house. After Lydia makes the obligatory compliments about the dark flooring that Tamra deflects by saying she hates because it shows all the dirt… Tamra ushers Lydia to the kitchen where she’s provided such an upscale spread that is fit for a king.  On cue, Lydia asks Tamra if she needs to wear a tiara.  It made Lydia feel so special.  Sadly, Lydia is not wearing a headband or other such thing at this point about which I can mercilessly harass her. Be careful as you eat that cheese, Lydia – Remember:  There is no such thing as free brie… (Note:  I just have to share with you a George Takei post I recently saw on FB:  “Sweet dreams are made of cheese, Who am I to diss a brie… I cheddar the world and the feta cheese… Everybody’s looking for Stilton…” lol… okay back to RHOC…) Lydia and Tamra talked about how proud they were of Heather and her performance on “Hot in Cleveland.”  Gag… Are we really still talking about this?  Tamra was happy that everyone got along so well – and within 2 minutes of Lydia being in her home she started saying crap about Alexis again – and about how her absence was the reason why everyone got along that night.  Except, actually, everyone didn’t get along – Heather was really cranky with Gretchen, if I remember right… but just chose not to make a big deal about it at that point of time…  Lydia thinks the situation between Alexis and Tamra is ugly and mean and Lydia wants to facilitate things getting better between them.  Lydia talks Tamra into friendship summitLydia thinks it was a shame that the last time they saw each other that it was so dramatic.  Lydia then says in her talking head, “I am the friendship whisperer.”  Sorry, Lydia – for that to actually be true – the people you’re whispering to would have had to have been actual friends before the rift happened, no?  Tamara confides that she feels she actually connected to what Alexis was saying when she was in the back of the limo crying.  Specifically, when Alexis was expressing that she felt like she was being bullied.  Tamra says she can empathize with those feelings because that’s how she felt years ago.  Tamra declares that she is trying to be the better person (No really, she is cough… cough).  Tamra asks Lydia to call Alexis to arrange for the big friendship summit meeting – but Lydia makes Tamra do it herself.

Gretchen bikini buyingWell, surprise of all surprises, Gretchen is shopping at a bikini shop.  She is planning the bachelorette party for Tamra and she’s decided they’re taking her to Mexico although they are not telling Tamra exactly where she’s going.  It’s going to be a secret!  Gretchen told Tamra that she had to pack two different suitcases – one for cold weather and the other for warm weather. Heather meets Gretchen at the bikini place because they’ve decided to design a custom bikini for Tamra for her bachelorette party.  They’re going to “Puerto Vallarta” and I know that you’ll be surprised to know that Gretchen totally massacres the pronunciation of it.  Seriously, if you’ve lived in Southern California for any length of time at all you pick up some basic fundamentals of Spanish pronunciation – and I’m not saying you need a perfect accent… but just don’t call it “Porta” when it’s “Puerto”… Seriously, it just makes you look ignorant.  Heather wants to take Tamra to an art gallery that’s next to a fabulous restaurant while there… (Insert laff here – cuz yeah, that’s what I first think of when I think of bachelorette party destination – an art gallery…Although arguably, I’d prolly enjoy that better than the inevitable stripper-laced drunken orgy that is about to ensue).  On the other hand, Gretchen wants strippers (See, I told you… lol)  It seems like Gretchen thinks she’s planning the party – but Heather thinks she’s also planning parts of it… Heather offers up an idea of a “Spa Day.” They have such differing points of view – this is not likely to work well… They then argue about the kind of bikini they want to get for Tamra – Heather prefers more coverage while Gretchen believes that sometimes when you have too much coverage on the butt it actually makes your butt look bigger.  Gretchen thinks she knows best because after all – she IS in the fashion industry because she designs handbags. I kid you not – she actually said that – but this is not “THE” I kid you not moment of this episode…

Alexis is meeting Vicki at the Salt Creek Grille.  Alexis asks Vicki about Tamra’s bachelorette party.  Vicki has decided to go but she is nervous about it.  Alexis tells Vicki that Tamra called her out of the blue and asked her meet her for lunch.  Alexis says she’s a little apprehensive to meet with Tamra – not nervous, but hesitant.  Alexis believes there is good in everybody.  Vicki says that Tamra gets an “A” for effort that she made the call.  Vicki thinks at the end of the day that you can at least agree to be cordial.  Vicki starts talking about the bachelorette party again and asks Alexis if she will go… Alexis is so not going to go but Vicki can take Tamra her gift.   Vicki doesn’t want to bring a gift – because after all it’s Tamra’s 3rd marriage.  Oh, snap!

Lydia and Alexis show up to the restaurant to meet Tamra.  Alexis tells us that there was no way that she would have consented to meet with Tamra without Lydia being in attendance.  We are reminded for like the 81st time that the last time Tamra and Alexis saw each other was when Tamra screamed at her and unceremonially kicked her out of her dinner party at her fitness studio.  As they sit down and order drinks, Lydia is realizing this is all on her if this meeting goes badly.  Lydia breaks the ice with saying that she’s glad both of them are there.  She thinks they’re both on the same page and that they both want to move on.  Tamra says that it was great when Alexis first got to the party that night – it was nice showing her around and stuff – but then when things got back between Alexis/Gretchen and Alexis/Heather and Gretchen/Vicki and that all Tamra heard in her head was noise.  Tamra acknowledged that she’s impulsive and explosive.  No apology, mind you – just that she’s “impulsive and explosive.”  Then, while she was eavesdropping on Alexis sitting in the limo talking to Lydia and Vicki, she heard what Alexis was saying… and she didn’t realize at that moment what an impact that would ultimately have on her.  Tamra said she could hear the pain in Alexis’ voice.  Alexis tears upAlexis starts crying… Tamra says she doesn’t care whose fault it is – but that she just wants to break the cycle.  Alexis tells her that she didn’t want to cause pain or anger at the party.  She doesn’t expect people to love everything about her – but that she just wants some peace and for them to give her a chance.  They don’t have to be best friends or anything.  Alexis thinks she could cry for days right now… Cheers to new beginningsTamra thinks it’s important that they keep this meeting a secret from everyone else because she just doesn’t want any outside influences right now in their fledgling relationship.  Tamra probably wants to keep it quiet until after she gets all the gifts from her numerous wedding showers and bachelorette parties.  Alexis thinks Tamra is truly sorry.  Lydia is proud that she set them up on this blind date and it went well.  Tamra thinks it’s not healthy to live in this anger.  Alexis is hopeful – and is not expecting to be best friends with Tamra. Tamra doesn’t want to be the “mean girl.”  Too late, honey, that ship sailed a long time ago to a galaxy far, far away. They toast to “New beginnings.”

Gretchen and Lauri at StableGretchen visits Lauri Peterson (former RHOC) at Sycamore Trails Stables in San Juan Capistrano. Okay, I’m just going to warn you all there’s gonna be a whole lot of manure flying around and don’t blame the horses.  As we enter this phase of our program, please be reminded that Vicki once employed Lauri at her insurance company while Lauri was struggling to make ends meet after Lauri’s divorce.  Lauri then met and married George and hasn’t worked a day in a professional workplace since then.  In addition, Lauri has a past history of hooking up with Slade… So yes, Gretchen is meeting Lauri, one of Slade’s previous housewife conquests just so she can literally get crap from her about Vicki. I’m sure she got a heads up from Tamra about the kind of information she had… Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Gretchen tells Lauri that Tamra told her that Lauri went shopping with her for wedding rings.  Gretchen was surprised since she didn’t realize they saw each other recently. I think Gretchen was jealous that she wasn’t invited to the big wedding ring shopping extravaganza such as it was.  I find it so amusing at how jealous Gretchen is of anyone coming into the Tamra sphere.  It’s like if someone gets too close to Tamra – She’s gonna act like a bug zapper and zap them out of Tamra’s life.  Good luck with that, Gretch.  They talk about how they can’t believe Tamra is getting married.  Gretchen tells Lauri that Slade used to have horses at this same stable. I personally think Slade has made hay with several fillies and I may or may not be talking about horses or those who have a horse’s face (No shade intended on horses).  Gretchen clues us in that Lauri used to date Slade and then, in a feeble attempt to minimize it, says cavalierly, “He banged her once, twice or three times… I don’t know.”  I’m not sure if Gretchen was trying to use the kind of phraseology that she thinks a guy would use or what – but it really was quite weird.

Gretchen tells Lauri that she and Slade have been together for 4 years now and that they’re ready to have a baby.  Lauri thinks they make a beautiful couple.  Lauri asks Gretchen about a marriage first – Gretchen says “Maybe.”  Oh, I get it – so the plan is NOT to get married, but have a baby out of wedlock?  Wow.  Gretchen asks Lauri if she talks to Vicki anymore.  Lauri tells her that their friendship has really fallen apart.  Gretchen says that she finds Vicki to be very hypocritical.  Vicki accused Gretchen of cheating on Jeff (Remember Gretchen had her ex-boyfriend go on a trip with her to see her family in Northern California while Jeff was sick in the hospital down here, etc.).  Vicki also completely trashed Slade for being deadbeat dad but then started dating Brooks who is in the same situation.  (Ummm… allegedly, Slade actually was a deadbeat dad when he didn’t pay his child support for the several months while he was unemployed but working for Gretchen without drawing an actual paycheck.  There have also been allegations that Brooks has not lived up to his obligations, either.).  When Gretchen called out Vicki on that subject, Vicki just says she’s not a hypocrite… she’s not a hypocrite!  Frankly, I find it baffling that Gretchen has somehow forgiven Tamra of all the vile things she said about her, Jeff and Slade… and now she conveniently blames it all on Vicki.  It’s weird, no?

And the manure starts to hit the fan… Lauri, who is looking for any opportunity to be relevant to this franchise and to secure future employment, decides to throw Vicki under the bus and then proceeds to run back and forth over her several times.  She tells Gretchen that the concept of Vicki having anything to say cheating issues is like, “It’s the pot calling the kettle ‘black.’”  Lauri then says that in the last 12 years that she’s known Vicki that she has never known her to be with just one person – She means, never ever!   “She’s just hopping from guy to guy… and guy to guy.”  Gretchen Jaw DroppingGretchen’s mouth is gaping open.  Gretchen asks, “I mean did you actually see her?” (This was such a set-up, loaded question it’s really laffable.) Lauri responds, “Yeah, I did. Oh yeah…” Lauri says she knows a lot about Vicki.  She has a lot of dirt on her and Vicki had better watch out because she knows where all her bones are buried (I refrain from the obvious joke).  Really, Lauri?  I’m sure Vicki has some ammo against you, too!  Gretchen tells Lauri this is the kind of crap that makes her go crazy. Lauri giddily continues fanning the flame… Lauri said that Vicki went to Greece one year and actually brought back a guy with her who Lauri describes as, “A Grecian god without any teeth.”  LauriGretchen is becoming so, so angry at Vicki.  Gretchen is unsure what shocks her more – that Vicki has had all these affairs while married or that there were that many guys who would want to have an affair with Vicki.  So, as if this all was not enough… Lauri tells her about an insurance trip to New Orleans – and that she actually walked in on Vicki in bed with another woman and they both were in bed with another man.  Gretchen is amazed that Lauri has kept all this quiet.  Lauri says that she didn’t actually know whether or not they were having sex or not – because they were all under a blanket.  Lauri feels that Vicki has so much stuff in her past that she doesn’t want to get out that she has to put everyone else on the defense.  Lauri says that she has never ever talked to anyone about any of this.  Right, except of course for Tamra and the Bravo producers, and who knows who else?  Lauri is mad at Vicki because Lauri’s ex-mother-in-law sent Vicki some information about George (Lauri’s husband) and instead of just giving it to Lauri directly – Vicki sent it to several people.  She said it was very defamatory information about George’s family and of course all of it was untrue… Lauri thinks Vicki should have come right to her and talked to her about it.  Gretchen asks Lauri if she wants to talk to Vicki (Oh no, not another friendship summit)… but Lauri doesn’t feel comfortable about it (unless of course, Bravo wants to pay her for it).  After exactly no persuasion, Lauri then decides she needs to talk to Vicki about it before anyone else talks to her because she has so much to get off her chest.  Gretchen self-identifies that she has a problem.  Gretchen does not think she’s going to be able to keep quiet about any of this now that she knows about it since Vicki really pisses her off.  Rut roh…Get ready for a rumble!  It is pissing Gretchen off so much that if she finds herself in a group setting she knows she is going to want to tell her that she knows who she’s been sleeping with for the last 25 years.  Gretchen wants to call up Vicki and say, “You f***n’ b***.”  Somewhere… Ryan and Briana are cringing… and Don is happy, happy, happy!

Meanwhile… People are busily packing for the bachelorette party trip.  While Heather is packing, Terry comes in and she tells him that she thinks Tamra is nervous about the trip.  Heather describes it as a bit of “hazing” and that there’s going to be a stripper there.  Heather says she’s never seen a stripper and has never been to a strip club – she’s just never seen one other than in a movie or on TV.  Terry assures her that she’s not missing anything.  You can actually see Heather take a double take like, “How would you know?”… but she decides to drop it.  It comes out that Terry has stripped for Heather but unfortunately that doesn’t count… like so many other things he does.

Lydia is also packing and asks Doug how many shoes he thinks she will need for 2 nights.  Doug’s answer is 1.  Silly him.  Lydia reminds him that these girls are “fancy.”  Lydia has never been to a bachelorette party – and she knows these girls are wild… She tells Doug that there have been whispers that there will be a stripper.  Lydia is wondering how she’s going to exit the room without it being all weird and stuff.  She has never seen a stripper and doesn’t want to.  In one of the most quotable quotes of the night, Lydia says, “I have 2 boys, a dog and a husband… I see enough penises… I don’t need to see a stripper.”  She laughingly says, “I feel like I’m leaving as a little child and coming back as a woman.  (Nope, that wasn’t the “I kid you not moment” either.)

Gretchen is packing her hot pink bachelorette goodies and goodie bags.  She tells Slade that she hopes this whole thing about Vicki goes okay because otherwise she is probably going to go off on her.  Slade wonders why Vicki is even coming. Gretchen says perhaps it’s because she has a boyfriend down there.  Gretchen is sure that she does.

Tamra is frustrated because she doesn’t know what to pack and she’s out of control of the situation.  She’s been told to pack for cold and for warm – but she really, really, REALLY wants to go somewhere warm.  She calls Gretchen and tries to trick her into telling her which suitcase she should use to pack her white tank shirt with “Bride” written on it.  Shockingly, Gretchen doesn’t fall for the rouse.  Tamra says that if Gretchen takes her to a cold climate she’s just going to stay in her room the whole time.  Way to be a good sport, Tamra!  Tamra uses the excuse that she doesn’t think she looks cute in cold weather clothes.  Tamra tells Gretchen, “I told you… naked wasted is the kind of bachelorette party I want.”  Yes, she actually told Gretchen… you know that same Gretchen that Tamra actively tried to get “naked wasted” at a dinner party at her house so that she would embarrass herself with Tamra’s own son.”  And yet it is Vicki that Gretchen is still so angry at… Go figure! Don’t get me wrong… Vicki has said plenty of crappy things… but still….

Everyone meets at the John Wayne airport and boy is there a lot of black and white outfits going on… Gretchen and Heather both have on black and white striped outfits.  How completely adorable (gag)…  Gretchen is talking to Heather and Lydia about all the adult toys and bachelorette trinkets she has with her and says she thinks people will either think she’s going to a porno convention or that she’s just really, really horny.  Vicki arrives and she also has some bachelorette themed goodies and starts to show the other ladies what she has.  Gretchen is getting frazzled because she also has a lot of the same stuff.  Vicki says in her talking head that there is no competition here because Tamra can surely drink out of more than one penis cup.  When Tamra pulls up – they present Tamra with a gift bag that tells her what climate they’re travelling to – and voila – she pulls out the customized bikini!  Tamra is happy!  Aren’t we all?  Whoopy-doo… Whoopy doo!

Tamra is told they’re going to Mexico.  Vicki pulls out a “Bride to Be” sash and a fun tiara that Tamra has to wear for the duration of the trip (which is merely 2 days long, mind you).  Tamra just wants to drink and have fun!  After arriving in Mexico, on their way to the hotel in the limo – they talk about what they’re going to do while they’re there.  They are first going to a really nice restaurant… Vicki tells them that after dinner she wants to go to “Andales” – a dive bar and whoop it up.  Gretchen says they can’t whoop it up too much because they have to save enough whoop for tomorrow. Vicki wonders if they’re 80?  Vicki has been going to Puerto Vallarta since she was 21 and she’s looking forward to letting loose.   From sun up to sun down – no sleeping – It’s get your party pants on, girls!  Vicki knows a lot of guys there.  (cough, cough). Gretchen says that’s an understatement. Vicki and her lollyGretchen presents Tamra with a ginormous multicolored penis lollipop that will take her all weekend to suck.  After Tamra licks at it a few times, Vicki takes it and sticks it deep into her mouth and well… ummm…. Let me just say that Vicki seems to know her way around lollipops.  “Bet you had a lot of practice doing that before, right” Gretchen snottily says in her talking head.  Somewhere you can hear Slade cussin’ at himself that even after 3 tries, he still picked the wrong housewife in which to hook-up. Vicki loves Mexico because you’re supposed to have fun and act like an idiot there.  For those inquiring minds, the line that Tamra has drawn about having fun in Mexico begins and ends with a donkey.  She wants no part of anything have to do with a donkey.  Enough said.

They arrive at Villa la Estancia Riviera Nayarit.  Vicki is determined to show Tamra a good time over the next couple of days and she will love it!  They have dinner reservations in an hour to go to Heather’s restaurant recommendation. They drive over in a limo that looks like a truck… and surprise – there is “Champs” in the limo!  I’m shocked! Tamra is told that her boobs are showing – and a sexual innuendo joke is made (I’m trying to be good… honest!) They talk about the agenda for the evening… Vicki says that after dinner they’re all going dancing.  Heather just wants to go “night, night.”  Tamra says she doesn’t want to drink two nights in a row – that she’s too old for that.  They’re dining at “Café des Artistes” which according to their website serves “Classic modern cuisine with a Mexican flair” and is considered one of the best restaurants in Puerto Vallarta. It however, is NOT the place for a raunchy bachelorette party.  After some of them had issues with the menu, even though English is printed on the right side of the menu – they manage to order.  Heather assures them that everything is good there – and she recommends the spotted quail. I’m dying laffin’ because no matter how classy these guys think they are – they have NO idea how to conduct themselves in a restaurant like this.  Lydia asks if they can get some salsa and chips to start off with – and the waiter looks like he’s going to kill her dead with that request.  If he doesn’t kill her, Heather will. Heather assures her they’ll have chips and salsa tomorrow.  It’s a great restaurant if you want a nice, quiet, romantic dinner.  No one looks happy at all.  No one.  Well, except Heather.  She’s perfectly at home here.  Tamra says, “Welcome to a French restaurant, right?” Heather quickly corrects her, “It’s not French.”  It is sooooOOoooo not a place to go with a bunch of girls on a bachelorette trip.  They all start to nervously laugh because it’s so quiet.  Lydia decides they need to do a bachelorette love game with Tamra – She explains that they’re going to ask her a quick-fire round of questions about Eddie.  What’s Eddie’s best body feature?  Tamra responds, “Abs.” Boxers or briefs?  “A little of both.”  Favorite color?  “Black.”  “What position does he like?” asks Vicki.  Tamra looks bewildered and asks if she has to actually answer that question. Heather tells her, “No.” Heather doesn’t even know if she wants to know the answer to that question.  Tamra figures out an answer, “He likes any position, actually.”  As the food is served, Heather says, “Bon appetite, everyone!” (How appropriate, in this non-French restaurant).  Heather says that her food is delicious.  Gretchen Afraid of ShrimpGretchen is scared of her shrimp and she gives them to Tamra.  Heather acknowledged that she may have picked the wrong restaurant.  But she was surprised they all just didn’t take it in stride – you go, you eat – and you make the best of it and then you don’t go back.  Gretchen says she once got sick on shrimp and now she’s scared of them.  Heather thinks it’s rude to sit there and complain throughout the whole dinner. Are we having fun yet?

Vicki asks who wants to go whoop it up tonight?  We’re going to whoop it up at “Andales.”  We either rally and whoop it up or we go to bed.  Heather and Gretchen are annoyed with Vicki.  Gretchen says in her talking head, “This is not your day… This is not your weekend… And this is certainly not your trip that you planned…So if you wanted to come here and go to Andales… and (insert gratuitous sexually graphic hand to mouth gesture here)… with Mr. Doorman then you should have come on your own.”  Gretchen says that they want to have some energy for their tour tomorrow.  Vicki says she doesn’t want to do a tour tomorrow.  Gretchen tells her that she shouldn’t go.  Gretchen tells us that she’s proud of herself that she hasn’t gone off on Vicki yet – like calling her a “slut, whore.”  Gretchen is just busying herself by singing, “Kumbayah.”  Lydia, in a really funny voice says, “Whoop it up.”  Lydia was worried about this trip being too wild but so far the night’s been really boring.  Gretchen says it’s all about Tamra.  Tamra says no, that it’s all about all of them.  In Tamra’s talking head, she says, “What’s next?  A yeast infection?”  So cheers to Tamra getting married!  As they head out, Gretchen and Heather say they need to “go potty.”

The next think you see is Vicki quickly leading Tamra and Lydia by the hand down some stairs.  Heather and Gretchen are nowhere to be found.  Lydia and Tamra are asking where is Heather and Gretchen?  Vicki could NOT care less.  Vicki insists that she’s taking the girls to her favorite places.  Lydia wonders if they shouldn’t wait for them?  Perhaps they should text them?  Vicki continues to lead them by the hand and tells them to do it her way.  Tamra says that Vicki is definitely the girl you want at your bachelorette party because they have so much fun together – it’s crazy!  Vicki assures them that the others will likely follow them to Andales.  Lydia is still asking about texting them…

Meanwhile, Heather and Gretchen, the trip planners, are sitting alone in the limousine wondering where everyone went.  They’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes – but it makes no sense that they would have left without them.  Certainly, they wouldn’t have just left us here, would they?  Heather says that it’s not nice that they would have just left them there – because they would have been happy to go out… (I’m dying laffing because that’s exactly opposite of what they had said earlier).  Gretchen thinks it’s strange that Tamra and Lydia would have done that to them.

V T and L and Glowing BowsMeanwhile, Lydia buys all the fun girls glowing headband bows (I just KNEW Lydia would get to wear a headband before the end of this episode).  They are gleefully walking the streets of Puerto Vallarta hand in hand.  Vicki says, “Bye, bye Gretchen” in her talking head. Make no mistake, Vicki knows exactly what she’s doing… lol.   Rut roh… Lydia drops her cell phone and it breaks… I wonder if this is going to come into play next week… hmmm…. However, Lydia was able to call the restaurant before she dropped her phone to tell them to find Heather and to give her a message.

Gretchen and Heather are still waiting in the limousine.  Gretchen whines, “Do you know the other part that really pisses me off?  Do you know how much g*** d*** f*** money I’ve spent putting this weekend together?”  Heather responds, “As far as I’m concerned this is as much of a slap to me as it is to you.”  Heather says, “I’m going to text all 3 of them… We’ve been waiting for 20 minutes.”  Heather wonders why she left her kids at home for this…  They decide that Vicki always plays by her own rules… Vicki is going to blow her wad all in one night and get drunk and be totally stupid.  And finally, in the “I kid you not” portion of our program – and just in case anyone is wondering… I listened to it several times and even confirmed it on close captioning for this one statement… Gretchen actually says, “Vicki pissed off the wrong girl.  I want to unleash a wrath of FURRY on this bitch.”  (At this point, Stars is laffing so hard she can’t even see straight… picturing that big old “wrath of furry” [no, not “fury” – she actually said “furry”] that Gretchen is gonna unleash… omg..omg…omg)… Gretchen then starts to tell Heather, “I don’t know if you know this… but I went and met with Lauri and she disclosed all these things about Vicki….”  End Scene.

Careful you guys, until next week… Make sure you watch out for those big old furry wraths…

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Newlyweds: The First Year, Episode 5 by BB

newlyweds-season-1-cast-and-info

Blair and Jeff (Married 4 months, 2 weeks):

Blair’s not getting any.  It’s been 2 weeks and Jeff says he knows they are in a rut.  Blair says it’s not they, it’s Jeff.  Jeff thinks Blair is in a fantasy world and Blair says they used to do it like rabbits, so why should it be different now?  Jeff is not making sex a priority from an emotional standpoint. Blair says Jeff should be flattered that a hot, blond who’s 16 years younger wants him.  Jeff thinks that cooking together and watching home improvement shows after work is better than sex.  Blair needs the sexual connection.

A week later, Jeff arrives home from dinner with his friends and Blair is not happy that he hasn’t answered his phone calls.  Jeff tells Blair he’s only been gone three hours, and Blair has called him three times and he answered the first two calls.  Jeff says he deserves to go have dinner with friends without Blair checking on him three times in three hours.  Jeff feels trapped that he can’t even go out with a friend for dinner and Blair feels like Jeff doesn’t want to spend time with him and he should be flattered.  Jeff says they are together all the time.  Jeff tells Blair he feels like he’s being attacked and Blair dramatically walks out of the room.  Jeff says Blair always has to be the center of attention.

Now five months married, Jeff and Blair are cleaning the house.  Jeff loves cleaning and Blair not so much. Blair thinks Jeff should be less obsessed with his old house and more obsessed with his young husband.  Blair doesn’t feel he should spend his weekend cleaning a house that doesn’t even belong to him.  Jeff hasn’t willed the house to Blair yet.  Jeff wants to make sure Blair really appreciates the house and not take it for granted before he writes that into his will.

Jeff wants to sit down with Blair and go over finances, like the mortgage, homeowner’s insurance, etc.  He wants Blair to pay more.  Blair gives him something a month, plus he pays for all of their entertaining expenses.  Blair agrees to increase his monthly contribution to Jeff.  Jeff wants them to have a joint account, but Blair likes having his own money.  Blair gets very emotional and Jeff shuts down.  Blair thinks he’s paying more than Jeff towards the expenses.  Jeff thinks he’s easily manipulated, but he doesn’t want to put up with that anymore from Blair.

Kathryn and John (Married 3 months, 3 weeks):

Kathryn is eating her ice cream while John, in his TH, because he’s an honest person, says Kathryn is gaining weight and he’s never fooled around with a fat person before.  John and Kathryn watch videos of her in her wedding dress and Kathryn wonders how she could have blown up in three months like she has.  He says the pancakes she’s been eating haven’t been helpful and she wishes he would be a little more understanding.  In the back of his mind, John’s worried he’s never going to see the old Kathryn’s body again. Kathryn says John doesn’t see that he’s gaining weight also.  She knows she’s going to lose the weight after the baby so she’s not that worried.

Kathryn and John have now been married 4 months, 2 weeks.  They are meeting at the doctor’s office where Kathryn will be having a sonogram.  She’s 20 weeks pregnant (you do the math).  They can’t wait to find out the sex of the baby.  John wants a little girl and Kathryn want’s a mamma’s little boy.  Kathryn keeps saying “he” while they are looking at the sonogram.  And guess what, it’s a boy.  John is shocked but he’s glad Kathryn’s glad it’s a boy. I thought men secretly wanted to have a boy, especially the first one.

Married 5 and a half months now, John is going over the budget and they talk about how much Kathryn is spending.  She gets a weekly allowance and has to tell him how she spends the money.  She resents it.  John wants to be fair but Kathryn feels so restricted.  She’s spending a part of her allowance on their food.  Kathryn is trying to work him a little to get more money.  She tells him the tanning salon is doing well, she doesn’t take a salary and deserves a bonus.  He says no.  Kathryn asks him if he’s serious.  John tells Kathryn they have to cut down on expenses because of the baby coming.  She says they should sell the pool table to make room for baby stuff.  John calls his friend who wants to buy the pool table.  He can’t believe he’s giving up his pool table.  At the end of the day, Kathryn gets her way.

Tina and Tarz (Married 4 months, 2 weeks):

They are in New York and are getting fitted for outfits to attend a premiere party for a Bollywood magazine that is featuring a spread on their wedding.  Tina admits she has kept Tarz a secret from the Indian media because he’s White and she hasn’t wanted to deal with the BS from people who don’t like the fact she didn’t marry an Indian.  One of the magazine staff tells them they are breaking boundaries, but Tina is a little nervous about walking the red carpet for the first time with Tarz.  She reads them some really nasty tweets and facebook comments she’s gotten about marrying Tarz.  Tarz says he’s even gotten death threats.  The magazine decides they need to tighten up on security.  Tina’s dad shows up with an attitude towards Tarz, but Tarz asks him to have lunch with him so they can have some bonding time.  Tina’s dad says he’s bonded with Tarz enough and he doesn’t have time, even though he’s in NY on vacation.  He finally agrees to have lunch with Tarz.

Tarz is late meeting his father in law, Kan, for lunch and knows he’s going to hear about it first thing.  Tarz is right.  Tan points at his watch and then asks why they are at an Italian place instead of at his favorite Indian restaurant.  Tan says he has to leave as the waiter arrives.  The Italian restaurant doesn’t have either dish Tan wants.  This is not going well so far.  Tarz tells Tan he just got a big project and Tan wants to know where the paychecks are from his “job.”  Tarz says this project will bring six figures so he should be happy because it’s a big deal.  Tan tells Tarz he lost his wife, he lost his daughter and he has a son in law he doesn’t understand.  Tan is not over the loss of his wife and Tarz knows he’s taking the brunt of Tan’s grief and he’s willing to do that.  Tan tells Tarz Tina was the only one left he could talk to freely and now he doesn’t even have her.  Tarz tells Tan he understands how he feels but they are married now and he’s not going anywhere, but he hopes they can bond and have a father/son relationship one day.  Tan calls himself a good guy and very understanding and says doesn’t give anyone a hard time.  Tarz says he’s a good guy, but he has been giving him a hard time.

Tina has invited Tarz’ mom Ellie over for some girl talk.  Tina loves that she can talk to Ellie like a friend.  They get along very well.  Tina asks Ellie for advice about how to get Tarz on the baby-making schedule.  Ellie is a little embarrassed talking about her son and sex and tells Tina it’s none of her business.  Tina asks Ellie what she does to spice things up with her husband.  Ellie tells her she doesn’t have to do that much.  Tina asks Ellie if she thinks Tarz might be gay and Ellie says no way.  Tina keeps talking until Ellie tells her it’s too much information and asks her to stop.

The night finally arrives for Tina and Tarz to be together in public for the BiBi magazine party.  Tarz isn’t sure where he should be standing while Tina is posing for pictures and greeting her fans.  One of her fans is stalkerish and makes Tina and Tarz a little uncomfortable.  Nobody seemed hostile towards them.  Tina does a performance for the party goers.  She’s pretty good.  She sings OK and dances really well.  She’s hoping her sexy dancing will turn Tarz on.  Later at home, Tarz is on his computer, but Tina interrupts him with some sexy moves.  He says she’s cute.  Tina gives up.

Kim and Alaska (Married 4 months, 2 weeks):

Kim is in New York, Alaska is in LA.  Her assistant tells her she doesn’t think they are even married.  It’s fashion week and Kim is busy styling models and running a runway show.  In LA, Alaska is busy producing music.  He doesn’t mind they are spending time apart because they are both doing so well in their careers.  Kim lives for her career, but she worries about the physical distance between her and Alaska and that it will translate to emotional distance.

Alaska is finally back in NY and they always have the best sex ever after being apart.  Kim cooked naked for him and they are having strawberries and champagne.  They later go to a party given by their friend Damon, who is a club promoter.  They first met on a dance floor and it was music that brought them together at first.  They are having fun at the club and that’s how Kim pictured married life would be like and she hopes it never ends.

Alaska is getting ready to leave town and the bickering begins.  They fight over petty things but it’s really about him going back to LA.  They are fighting about food for Pete’s sake.  They are annoying each other and me too.

_______________________________________________

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About Veena (NMD)

Just a housewife ... who loves this place .... and loves to write ... You can reach me through this email: nomoredrama8@gmail.com. Lynn's Place is in tribute to Housewives blogger Lynn Hudson, who passed away in August of 2012.
This entry was posted in Newlyweds, Real Housewives of Orange County. Bookmark the permalink.

305 Responses to Real Housewives of Orange County / Newlyweds: The First Year

  1. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. Today’s a beautiful day. I hope it is where you are. Oh goody. More boston special photos. I’m glad I drank my hot tea so my phone is not in danger of getting wet. 🙂
    Have a great day.

  2. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Good morning….haven’t read the blog yet-I just saw the pics….OMG Boston!!!! The “Horsey face” one is the best one ever!!!!

    • Catseye says:

      That is SOO funny!! Lauri looks terrible these days.
      I watched the clip on the BRAVO website of the strippers in Mexico and you were right–so disgusting. I can’t imagine wanting to have a strange man rubbing his penis on your face!! SO GROSS. (And STUPID Gretchen was worried about eating shrimp in a fancy, expensive restaurant–but touching some guy’s genitals was okay?) Was Heather spraying everyone with Lysol? It looked like it.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Did you see Heather with her white gloves on?? I think I heard her say she was spraying Fabreeze…the whole thing is sooooo gross. Tamra should be ashamed of herself-her kids will see that scene one day!!!

      • jules says:

        Never thought I’d type this but I agree with Lydia about the strippers. I have a husband, two sons and a male dog in my house too. I’ve seen enough penises to last a lifetime. Also, I’ve never been interested in seeing a bunch of strange men swinging their packages in my face, especially PAYING to see them do it. I can think of far more productive ways to have fun with my friends. I’m not judging anyone, it’s just not my cup of tea.

        • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

          It’s gross to me-I would have been sitting far far away from them b/c if one of those strippers tried to swing my way…fuggetaboutit!! Someone would have went home penisless!!!

        • boston02127 says:

          I’m too much of a germ a phobe for that. I don’t even touch door knobs never mind having a strange mans cannoli swinging in my face.

        • missusmc says:

          Oh, I’m judging. Watching Magig Mike is one thing; being slapped in the face with a strangers junk is quite another. So gross.

          • jules says:

            Oh, I’m judging the HW’s for sure. I just don’t want fellow bloggers to think I’m passing judgement on them. The HW’s ask for it; the bloggers here seldom do!

          • pat says:

            I agree with Lydia too, and the penis count in my house is 3. One of the funniest “threads” I’ve read on this site tho!! Thx for the lol’s! Tho I maybe could have done without the assault of visuals. 🙂

        • Powell says:

          Jules I’ve seen strippers twice & I don’t understand the hooping & hollering the ladies do. It’s not fun at all IMO.

      • missusmc says:

        I’m guessing Eddies bachelor party wasnt much different than Tamras.

  3. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Starzy…THE FURRY!!! I can’t!!!!!! She is so dumb!! It’s too funny-I love that Bravo leaves these magical little gems in the THs!!! There is not a HW from any city that has not made a blunder-but this is for sure in my top 5…my number one will always be Melissa telling us that Joe Gorga has a strong work ethnic!!!
    BB-I’m over Alaska-he is annoying me more ever week. I don’t think he understands marriage-I hope they figure things out. I’m getting a phony acting vibe from Tina now-she is auditioning for bigger things than this show-just a feeling I get from her. I love the dramatic side of Blair-everything he does has a bit of “Blair Flair”-he gets a bit childish but I love him!! The Long Island couple bore me to tears-I think they bore each other too.

    • jezzibel says:

      so Gretchen is going to what..throw her Furry slippers at Vicki during breakfast.

      • Stars99 says:

        Jezzibel… there are so many fun ways to go with “furry” isn’t there? Btw… I love, love, LOVE boxers.. that’s one on your avatar, right?

    • chismosa says:

      Blair Flair! ha ha
      Just Jack

      so cute. Blair’s hubby is SUCH a Virgo…..
      I loved hearing Tina singing… that was cool. I love Bollywood stuff, but girl needs to eat a hamburger or at least some more Naan and bulk up!

      I was sad to see Tarz and Tina’s father— that was sad. Maybe Tarz can’t ‘perform’ because of the constant cameras on them???
      The LI couple are just ridonculous. It’s like they are JUST getting to know eachother. And yeah, was she pregnant at her wedding? I was counting back…. or she must have gotten honeymoon pregnant. Darnit i hope she was able to drink at the wedding — you know they didn’t show any footage of the reception much, so i don’t remember if she drank. Greek weddings are the best :mrgrin:

      Jill ONE MORE DAY…. tomorrow you go!

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        chimosa-by the time tomorrow comes I can’t imagine who else they are going to add to the line up!! I’m so glad I decided to go-my little sis is crazy so I know she will get us close to everybody!!!

        • chismosa says:

          wait, we’ve gone through this so much already, i know Kelly from NY is going but is JILL going??
          I mean one ‘former’ ny housewife, why not another?

          • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

            I don’t think so…but I think it would be awesome if she was!! I can’t wait to see how Jac looks in “real life”…she’s the only person I know who has had a neck lift and I’m going to get close enough to check it out!!!!

            • LaineyLainey says:

              i could use a neck lengthening. i.e. I need a longer neck.

              • chismosa says:

                Lainey me too! it’s something i notice on people all the time. The munchkin beeyotch on LI Princesses needs a neck elongation. I always notice stubby necks. Hate mine.

                We could always wear the many necklaces on our necks like people in Africa do to elongate. ha ha

            • chismosa says:

              Ok i never said this yet, but has anyone noticed Jacq’s NOSE looks different in the talking heads vs. the filmed stuff? The ski slope seems to have been filled out more, …… it was not as skinny before. Like, in a good way.

              And i had no idea you can get fillers put into your nose to augment it, until Wendy talked about it on her show yesterday. So you can get a semi-nosejob without doing a full-on surgery. (not sure if it’s permanent)

              Just noticing….
              and i don’t see a difference in her neck at ALL. Can you change the lines on the neck? Does that get helped?
              I remember years back people used to make fun of Kimora Lee Simmons’ really bad neck and she seems to have gotten it to look great recently.

              I thought a neck lift highlights and tightens up your JAWLINE.

              But look at her nose….. me ***smells*** something different there.. lololololol!

              Report back on the nose and neck, that’s what i’m interested in. God i hope she’s not in a short dress and platform heels. so over it! She should show off her new tummy

              Take good pictures

    • Stars99 says:

      lol… Jill… the REAL Jill…not that other one… I’m telling you… “Furry” had me laughing for so danged long… I mean, I actually said to myself, “Surely, she didn’t just say “furry”, did she?… then I told myself to quit calling myself “Shirley”… lol… sorry… obscure Airport reference… I about died… seriously about died laffing…

  4. jezzibel says:

    I wonder if Gretchens chiclet teeth are too big for her mouth, and thats why she can’t enunciate, simple stuff like fury……or she’s just that stupid.

  5. Lulu says:

    Good Morning everyone!!! Today my Aiden is exactly a week old! Time flies and before I know it he will be walking 😦 I’m enjoying all the baby time I can get now since he is my last.

    Officially traumatized! What freakin moron puts their baby on A CONVENIENT STORE FLOOR!! So lucky I wasn’t there she would of heard an earful from me! Stupid people!

    Thank you Starsey for an AWESOME recap! 🙂

    BB Thank you for the newlyweds recap too!!! If I were Kathryn I’d seriously slap John!!! When your pregnant you gain weight as simple as that! That’s the nature of carrying a human being! I have to wonder if she’s regretting marrying him after knowing so little about him. He’s very narrow minded that’s for sure.

    Tina and Tarz OMG!!! didn’t realize poor Tina gets HORRIBLE comments because she married a white guy?!?!?! Will Tarz ever win over Tina’s dad?

    RHOC:
    So we are supposed to forgive and forget Tamra because she was sexually active at 14 then out of the blue forgives Alexis?!?!?! I smell producer pulled her aside and said straighten out otherwise we will give you the boot! Sorry Tamra too late for damage control a leopard never changes her stripes. I’m not buying her fake apologizes and reasoning for being a “bitch.” Bravo needs to get rid of her pronto! What an idiot.

    Who on Earth decided to bring back “Ms unfortunate looking face?!?!?” No idea why now she decides to sling mud at Vicki with her fake stories. I hate when producers decide to “stir” the pot it makes it look so ridiculously obvious. Guess Bravo still thinks their viewers are idiots. Hope “Ms unfortnate looking face crawls back in the home she came from.”

    Can’t even comment on the bachlorette party yet!!! What a joke!!

    • Luluuuuuuuu! So glad to see you and that you are feeling good and enjoying your little bundle of joy! What does your 2.5 yr old think of his little brother? So many warm thoughts sent to you and family! 🙂

    • Catseye says:

      The only kids I have are covered with fur, but I can manage to use one arm, when I have to. Just the thought of anyone laying on a filthy floor like that is disgusting.
      That scene with Tamra, Alexis and Lydia was SOO very fake. I remember last year, when Alexis politely and graciously met with Tamra for coffee and asked her not to spread hateful, crude lies about her and Jim. Tamra, true to form, started screeching and said something like not giving a sh!t about the two of them. Now, all of the sudden she’s had a change of heart?

    • chismosa says:

      Happy 1 week hope you are adjusting nicely 🙂

    • Stars99 says:

      Thanks, Lulu… and thanks for the update on “our” Aiden!

    • Laineylainey says:

      Hi lulu! Great comments! So happy for you and your sweet family.

  6. Good Morning All! Hoping everyone is doing well!

    Great recap Stars99! As Always! I saw the last 30 mins of the show…and just wow! I haven’t watched in awhile…but when did Gretchen get such a potty mouth? Love, love, love the “moments” you pointed out but….I will be running from the “furry” all day! Hope I don’t run out of breath! Well done Lady!

    BB – I have tried to get into this show and it’s not working. Thanks for the recap to keep me updated!

    Wishing everyone a lovely day. Hugs, Love & Light too!

    New post, “Tuesday Affirmations ~ Facing The Unknown”, is up at my place. Enjoy!
    http://fromthedeskofmardrag.wordpress.com/

  7. jules says:

    My favorite blunder is when Melissa from NJ was singing Amazing Grace and she sang “who saved a wench like me”. That is my all-time favorite, talk about a Fruedian-slip!

    Thanks for the OC recap Stars. I was watching the hockey game and had no desire to change the channel. After reading your recap, I know I made the right choice. These women are just horrible to each other. Tamra can’t seem to decide if she wants to be classy or trashy. I think she made that decision a long time ago and should just accept it. Sometimes you literally can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

    • LaineyLainey says:

      woof!!

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      jules-the wench was a good one…Melissa also has a VERY hard time saying “admit” she says “EGGMIT”. “Teresa can’t EGGMIT that she started it”… There is a video of her saying it on the Bravo site-it’s hysterical!! Another one of my favorite is Teresa saying that her brother wants to go to “physical therapy”….they all need to go back to school!!!

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Oh and I saw a tweet from that Greg Bennett-Chris Manzos friend that said Melissa was singing the song from Beauty and the Beast…”tale as old as time,song as old as WINE…”

    • Rebecca says:

      I loved Teresa’s new word – “cleansy”
      Fabulous.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        And “cleveledge”…..WTF???

        • Cathy Connor says:

          Good thing Teresa didnt drownded either …..sheees these women slaughter the english language dont they….Have a loverly day my loverlies !!!!

        • boston02127 says:

          Teresa also says pacific instead of specifically. I feel like calling her and saying seriously one is an ocean.

    • chismosa says:

      Wendy said it yesterday and i agree, Terrorisa sounds like a 6th grade dropout.

      I get the Melissa mispronounciation– remember Danielle and woman/ women? lol. But Terror makes Beyonce sound like a member of Mensa.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Come on chimosa-how can you let Melissa off the hook? EGGMIT??? Work ethnic?? She is as dumb as Teresa!!!

        • chismosa says:

          i have to hear this Eggmit …..
          so she doesn’t pronounce ADD in admit? i’m going to keep my eye out for that. Was work ethnic last year? i feel i saw that.

          still that’s 1-maybe 3? to like 2,000,000 Ter–rorissms

        • Powell says:

          First Cathy. Now you JNNTJ. Just hysterical! 🙂

    • Stars99 says:

      lol Jules… the “wench like me” is a classic… made me crack up… The hockey game was much more fun to watch… especially if you’re rooting for the “Hawks”… = )

  8. rabblerouser2010R says:

    Good morning everyone. Thanks for another hilarious blog stars,,,,it was greatly complimented with Boston’s pictures. BB, thanks for your blog on the Newlyweds, I don’t watch the show but you do a great job of trying to capture the personalities and dynamics of the folks involved. NMD thank you as well.

    • Stars99 says:

      Thanks, RR… Hope you and yours are doing well! Weren’t Boston’s pics awesome? And BB is the queen of all the recappers… she makes my head spin she does so much! Mel… He’s the king of the recappers… and I think that makes me a court jester… lolol… woo hoo!

  9. rabblerouser2010R says:

    It looks like Brandi is still acting the fool on twitter. It’s going to make for a very interesting next season for BH now that even some of her supporters are tired of these antics. , I would hope that she would come in more humbled…but I don’t think she will.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      Do you see how her “fans” are acting? They are going crazy-some of them think she is talking to LR when she says stop talking about my kids-but she is talking to THEM!! They are mad that they spent their time defending her and now she is threatening to knock out teeth….silly girl!!! They are saying “we thought we were helping you”. …really?? Helping her with what exactly??

    • Cartwheels says:

      Where is her PR agent?
      Bravo used to have a person who will be right there with her so she wouldn’t put her feet in her mouth after she revealed the RHBH slaries, is that person no longer with her?
      Lisa and Yolanda , if they are her real friends should ask her to take a break from Tweeter. She is acting like the second version of Jac Laurita.
      How in the world is she going to pretend that people who talk about her boys being in a horrible situation are haters when she has encouraged and started every single allegation against Eddie/Leann that has ended up in a public war.
      The story of the laxatives, the e-mails between Brandi and Eddie, the book, the major freaking out because the boys were with Leann when Eddie was not there, the freak out because they didn’t answer her call for an hour, we have learned all that through Brandi and now she wants to pretend that she and Eddie/Leann are the epitome of coparenting?

      Somebody need to send Brandi to Tweeterhab.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        I like that she doesn’t have “handlers” …left on her own she is bound to implode!! Everything that was fresh and exciting about her has turned old and stale-but she has a very large “Brandi bunch” fan base-her fans will stick with her no matter what she says to them. I don’t really understand why.

        • Cartwheels says:

          Probably mainly because she was the cheated wife and they see her as the underdog.
          That is just not going to last for so long and soon enough people will start to see her for who she really is, a trouble maker who needs to take deep breaths before she tsalks or tweets.
          Outside of the Maloof drama, the Kyle drama, the Eddie/Leann drama she really needs to focus on herself and stop acting crazy.

          • rabblerouser2010R says:

            Everything is out in the open with Brandi, including her mouth, cleavage and legs.

      • rabblerouser2010R says:

        I agree,
        I almost wonder if her idiotic tweets of protest are actually just halfhearted,like when someone makes that slow reach for their wallet when the check comes in the hopes that the other person will pick up the tab.

        I think “Tweetherhab” would be a great name for her second book…it would be a very short book though if she was actually following the program because she would have to STFU for once.

  10. Dwight Schrute says:

    Poor Lydia when she asked for chips and salsa at the restaurant. Heather starred daggers at her like she’d asked for onion rings. Funny to see Heather and Gretchen commiserating given that Heather was so ticked at Gretchen after the taping of Hot in Cleveland.

    If they had to bring back a previous Housewife I would have preferred Jeanna rather than Lauri.

    • Cartwheels says:

      I always liked Lauri and was happy she found her “prince charming” but this episode has totally changed my mind.
      She might be hurt because pof what she says happened but Vicky has never spoken about it in public, Lauri , if true , is telling million of people about Vicky’s private affairs and that is shitty.
      I do not like people who you trust your secret with and are your very good friends but at the first fall out , just can’t wait to spill such secrets about you. i.e. Jackeline.

      Really bad move for Lauri to come back with a story line like this.

    • jules says:

      I would have much preferred Jeana too Dwight! I always liked her far more than the rest of them. Lauri has a very short memory. Vicki was good to her when she needed a hand up. Her desperation is showing.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      “Poor Lydia when she asked for chips and salsa at the restaurant. Heather starred daggers at her like she’d asked for onion rings.” I love this…only someone on this board would get that. hilair.

    • chismosa says:

      Dwight haven’t seen you in a while, congrats on your nuptials to Angela!!!
      😀

    • Stars99 says:

      Dwight… Completely falls on the floor laffin’ @ your “like she’d asked for onion rings”… I cannot believe I didn’t think of that… that’s the PERFECT line for her… Hey Dwight… wanna write the next recap? lololol

  11. Orson says:

    Last reminder: Come to the chat room tonight for a visit. 10 pm ish eastern. M’kay?

  12. HuskerHuny says:

    Hey everyone – I really need a hug right now. Last night, four boys (ages 16-17) from my town were involved in a car accident – three of them died and the other is in an induced coma. I knew/know all four of them and/or their families. How do you make sense of this? I just hurt so bad. Prayers for the families and friends are needed and appreciated. Thanks for hearing me out.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      Hugs prayers and love to you HH…I wish I could give you a real hug!!!

    • Cartwheels says:

      OMG Husker, this is so sad. Prayers coming your way.

    • jules says:

      I’m so sorry HH. I can only imagine how hurt you are. I’ll definitely include you and their families in my prayers.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Oh no!!! How incredibly sad and tragic. So sorry for your sorrow – will def keep those families in my prayers. Please update us about the child who is in a coma.

    • Cathy Connor says:

      Oh my goodness HuskerHuny, thats aweful…You have my prayers and thoughts along with the family and friends of those kids ! We are here for ya hon. You cant make sense of it . Am very sorry but to me somethings defy explanation. I wish I could take your hurt away . So sad… Sincerly Cathy

    • Catseye says:

      Such sad news. Prayers sent.

    • rabblerouser2010R says:

      (BIG HUG). My prayer are out to all those effected,

      Here in Orange County we just lost 5 children in a high speed wreck. 2 of the dead were sisters and their parents only children. It made me cry to think how in blink of an eye, how so many families can be left devastated.

      • LaineyLainey says:

        OMG – that is horrible. I can’t even start to try to imagine, I’ll cry if I think about it too much.

        • rabblerouser2010R says:

          It really broke my heart because I also have two girls…and as much I want them to be friends when they grow up, maybe I will have a rule about them not traveling in the same car driven by friends. Kind of like back in the days of WW2, brother’s couldn’t be in the same battalion.

          • Stars99 says:

            That was horrible, wasn’t it RR? I cried about it… so, so awful… and they were traveling at over 100 mph on Jamboree… on their way to a beach picnic… so, so devastating and touched both Irvine High Schools.

            • rabblerouser2010R says:

              I don’t think the boy had a valid driver license either.

              The boy’s parents must be gutted with guilt. 😦

          • cocfarm says:

            Yeah, the Sullivan brothers right? 4 or 5 all served on the same battleship and the parents lost all of their kids in the sinking of that ship.
            Yep, 5 brothers:
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sullivan_brothers

            • rabblerouser2010R says:

              Yes, I remember there was a silver screen movie about them called
              “The Fighting Sullivan’s” . It was sad but made me proud to be Irish. 😀

    • TexasTart says:

      ((((HuskerHuny)))

    • So very sad HH! Prayers and positive thoughts are on their way. My DD experienced this when she was in high school and lost 4 friends in one accident. There is no sense to make of it. Wrapping Hugs around you and families!

    • chismosa says:

      Ouch Husker, heart goes out to you. Very sad.
      How young can you be in your state to drive– that sounds very young. I hope no funny business was the cause. Sad no matter what.

      I always think they should up the driving age. Of course that can have nothing to do with the accident you speak of.

    • BB says:

      (((((HuskerHuny)))))

    • Stars99 says:

      {{{[[[(((HuskerHuny)))]]]}}} I’m so, so sorry… that is horrible… Prayering for the families, friends and your community…

      • HuskerHuny says:

        Such an unnecessary accident. All boys were 16 (legal driving age in Nebraska). One of the boys had his father’s/granfather’s 1966 Mustang of all things. There is a patch of highway outside of town that kids will ‘drag race’ on and that’s what these kids were doing. Lost control, the Mustang rolled and no one was wearing seat belts. In the past 12 months or so, our community has lost five young people through car accidents and one suicide. Each time it just doesn’t get any better, We are a small community where everyone knows everyone. I met with one of the boys’ father last Friday as he is an academic counselor at the community college that my son attends. We were to meet with him again this afternoon to tie up my son’s last quarter of classes. I asked him how his boys were doing (they are/were twins) and he said they were doing great, had summer jobs and just started fall sports conditioning. In a blink of an eye it can all be taken away . . . Thanks so much for your kinds words and gestures. I’m feeling the love.

    • pat says:

      So sad for everyone involved. (((HuskerHuny)))

    • Powell says:

      Oh goodness! That’s horrible. Prayers to you, your friends and your town.

    • Shiny says:

      How awful. There is no way to make sense out of such enormous tragedies. All one can do is grieve, help the families and friends, and treasure your own loved ones. Time helps, but such sadness has no sense, just coming together of people to help each other through it.

    • cocfarm says:

      That’s horrible. So sorry for your loss.

      When people say, how can theses things happen, I think back to my youth and realize how lucky I am to still be here. We all have lapses in judgement. But sometimes those lapses can be your last. So sorry that this is the case here.

    • NJBev says:

      Breaks my heart………………..

  13. Cartwheels says:

    Tamra and her change of heart with Alexis? This is what keeps running through my mind:

    Producer: Tamra , this is the tenth time that you had begged us to have a meeting about a possible spin off, but we are really hesitant, why should we help you when you refuse to help us.

    Tamra: What do you mean? I am your most loyal worker, don’t I pull stuff out of my ass to create drama, what else do you want?

    Producer: Well, Tamra, you have made things very difficult for us by refusing to film with Alexis, the other ladies follow your lead so if you would “reconcile with her” that would make our job much easier. We need her to film with you guys

    Tamra: I refuse, can’t stand the phony bI^%h, do you k now that she dares to pretend that she is prettier than me? I hate her.

    Producer: Then I think the spin off is out of the question.

    Tamra: Hold on a second, wait, well I am willing to do that if you are willing to help me look better for the audience, more human, what about a story of a horrible childhood to justify my behavior?

    Producer: okay, it can be done, now be a good girl and make peace with Alexis.

    • rabblerouser2010R says:

      That’s probably how it went.
      At this point, there is pretty much nothing that Tamra could do that would redeem her in my eyes.

    • Powell says:

      Hey cartwheels are you the Producer? 🙂
      I believe that’s just how it happened.

  14. Powell says:

    Ok peeps. I’m confused or drunk cause as I remember it when Alexis was in the limo crying & saying she was being bullied and her doc put her on meds we they came back from their trip cause she felt so bad Tamra went back inside, told the ladies what she eaves dropped in on & laughed saying it was a load of crap. Now Tamra says she empathizes w/how Alexis felt. Did I hear my TV wrong or an I missing something?

    • Orson says:

      You did not hear your tv wrong. Bravo is playing the viewers.

    • missusmc says:

      Right, that’s exactly what happened. We just didnt see after the fact, when Tamra was rethinking the evening and thought Alexis’ suicide mention was a great idea for her to gain sympathy. Tamra owes Alexis big time for that one.

  15. boston02127 says:

    I feel kind of dumb asking this question. What does a donkey have to do with a bachelorette party?

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      I think it’s b/c they were in Mexico…I heard some stories about a donkey and women in Tijuana…it’s gross but I bet if you google “donkey woman Tijuana” you will find out way more than you ever need to know!!

      • chismosa says:

        that is so gross…. i can’t really think of that. Thanks Jill! yuck

        Yes the beginning of the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin references that. ughhhhhhhhh 😮

    • chismosa says:

      and i’ve been to bachelorette parties where it’s pin a tail on a donkey (or pinup of some guy), is this what they did on OC or is it something grosser/ more sexual?

    • princesspindy says:

      You really don’t want to know!!!

  16. Mrs. Noogent says:

    This is one the funniest reviews I’ve read, great job Stars! Loved the photo’s too Boston! I

  17. chismosa says:

    For all you in the Brandi/LeAnn stuff—-

    I don’t know who watches Chelsea Handler’s show– i find her annoying but i still hate-watch—
    but LeAnn will be on this week and that will be INTERESTING being that Brandywine went after Chelsea in some tweets after Chelsea’s super uncomfortable appearance on WWH. And Brandy like hooked up with Chelsea’s brother and i think shares the same literary agent as she. So i think there’s animosity there. It’ll be funny to see how Chelsea acts with Leann

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      Thanks for the info…I think Chelsea has said some pretty mean stuff about Leann too but I’m not surprised she is going on her show b/c she has her CD coming out

    • jules says:

      I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who dislikes Chelsea Handler. I’ve tried to like her but she’s just too mean. I did watch her on Oprah’s show, I can’t remember the name of it…where Oprah goes to the celebrities home and interviews them. Anyway, I disliked her a little bit less but not enough to watch her. Plus she has really small eyes and that freaks me out in a weird way.

      • HuskerHuny says:

        Chelsea is just plain not funny, but her guests (the people who sit around the table with her) are. Her dead look into the camera when she thinks she’s saying something funny is really overplayed. Find a new schtick (sp?) dear.

      • chismosa says:

        Jules me too about the eyes! lol

        I just don’t like that she got to where she is by laying on her back for a guy. And i don’t respect her dissing Joan Rivers out of the blue because whether you hate her or love her, as a female comic who does MEAN stand up you have to respect those that blazed trails before you.

        i hate-watch her basically. 😉

        • LaineyLainey says:

          I love and admire Joan Rivers. She is an amazing woman, mother, grandmother. I think she was a pretty good wife, too. She seemed to work hard at her marriage…and basically she’s just a WORK HORSE. That’s probably the secret to her longevity…work, work, work…that lady hustles. I’m not saying she’s perfect; but she’s one of the women I look up to. and she’s tiny …rimshot.

          • pat says:

            Joan Rivers is truly gifted comedically. Cheslea, not so much.

          • TexasTart says:

            Lainey, so true about Joan….and you can talk about her without mentioning plastic surgery…I like that. Somehow I forgive it with her and not others, I guess because the admiration I have for her as a person. She is one of the hardest working woman in entertainment. She is a trailblazer and survivor! They’ll not be another like her, IMO.

          • Powell says:

            I love Joan Rivers. She is quite funny and a work horse like you said. Have you bought any of her jewelry on QVC? I own a few things. Very good quality costume jewelry. I haven’t bought anything in 3yrs. When she’s on I usually only watch for a few minutes because I always see something I like and want to purchase it.

        • jules says:

          ITA about dissing Joan Rivers. I understand she’s made a joke of herself with all the plastic surgery but she is and always has been funny. Chelsea should be on her knees thanking Joan for kicking down the doors for female comedians. You’re a better person than me chismoa. I can’t even hate-watch her because I don’t want to give her the ratings.LOL

  18. Powell says:

    Tamra could hear the pain in Alexis’ voice but went back to the ladies, laughed & called Alexis’ words crap.
    Out of all the things Tamra has done and said this makes me the madest cause she discounted Alexis’ feelings & then laughed about it. I would slap Tamra just for that. I do not like this lady. All her pretend clean up of her image will never get me to like her. Maybe if she got a lobotomy I’d changes my mind.

  19. Powell says:

    I give Lydia props for going to the Alexis & Tamra Summit cause I would not put it past Tamra to totally lie about everything that was said.

    • cusi77 says:

      Powel_ I have the suspicion that this “Summit” was pasted out of sequence … like the Oooops of Bravo to promote Trampra’s Wedding spin off…Ain’t they nice, Joe?

      • Powell says:

        Cusi I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m no longer surprised at anything Bravo does.

  20. cusi77 says:

    Good Morning Everyone! Thank your for the Blogs! I have not read them yet but wanted to say from the bottom of my heart about OC…

    Why I am watching these OLD DIRTY GRANNIES? Haa! Goodness gracious… at least they get payed! I got nothing! NO True… I have all of you! Thank you!

    Thank you Bostoncito for the photos!

  21. princesspindy says:

    Stars….. A+++, so many funny bits!!! The Furry!!! OMG, hysterical to me because I only learned about them a few years ago, they are VERY scary and VERY creepy, LOL!!!! Vicki SHOULD be scared of the FURRY! HAHAHAHA!!!! Poor Gretchen, speaking, how does it work?? Also, I definitely am digging the lighted bow headband, no shame in my game!!! I would LOVE one of those puppies!!! I was glad Vicki took Tamara and Lydia away, it was soooo boring…. Poor Heather keeps trying to up the culture level, reminds me of putting lipstick on a pig……. I for one was laughing hysterically at the previews for next week, I thought that it was funny because these woman are getting a WHOLE lot more than they bargained for!!! I love awkward and they looked really awkward!!!

    No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more Mr. Cleeaannnn!

    • Stars99 says:

      “Furry” made me almost die… really… lol.. Hey, I think you need one of those headbands, Tiara… How fun! I’m singing along with your, “No more Mr. Nice guy… no more Mr. Clee ee eee eeen!”… Woo hoo…let the snarking begin!

    • Kansas Girl says:

      If we ever manage to have a family reunion, we all need those blinking hair bows!

    • Shiny says:

      Stars, you are such a hoot in your recaps – they’re the reason I bother watching the dang shows, I swear.

      The bow headbands made them all look like Minnie Mouse triplets. But I do love light-up eyeglasses and headbands; I wish they’d been around when I was a kid. At 62 they’re just not as adorable on me as they would have been at 6.

  22. melthehound says:

    Is that (photo) why Brooks likes Vicki so much? I thought he just wanted to be on the show….

  23. TexasTart says:

    Gretchen, I have your WRATH OF FURRY at my feet! An Amstaff Terrier and an American Bulldog.

    Folks, this word issue is some sort of disease! I hate to admit, but my mother, gifted in beauty and a social buttlerfly, but there is something lacking, as she has words she routinely butchers! About all we can do is laugh to ourselves and sometimes laugh at her…..she has never corrected any of the regardless of our efforts! 😳 The strangest thing of it all is she can spell words correctly, but not pronounce the same. Oh, except Salmon…she still thinks the L is pronounced. 😆

    • princesspindy says:

      My daughter has the same problem, she did some research and said she found that it is a common problem with people who taught themselves to read. I walked in on her when she was 3 1/2 and she had set up her tape recorder and had her chair by the outlet and had the whole “Hooked on Phonics” box out and was teaching herself to read!!! I backed out of the room and let her have at it!! She can spell anything, her writing skills are amazing, she had 12th grade reading level in 3rd grade, and has always had an incredible vocabulary but her pronunciation of some words has caused a lot of laughter…

      • Cathy Connor says:

        I suppose we shouldnt be so hard on them for making some mistakes pronouncing some words….I would hate to make a mistake and have the world then pounce on it everyweek I guess…unless I was being paid good money oh wait a min the heck with them never mind they knew what they signed up for pity party for them OVER …Carry on LOL

      • cusi77 says:

        Amazing daughter Pindy! Remarcable I would say! Proud, proud, proud! 😉

      • TexasTart says:

        PrincessP, how impressive that your daughter setting up shop with Hooked on Phonics at 3 1/2?! Amaaaazing. Interesting theory.

        • princesspindy says:

          She was a trip, that is for sure! She was a very determined child. I remember at 2 she wanted to put on her own shoes and I was struggling with her, trying to do it and I realized, what am I doing??? Let her do it herself, I was dressing my son until her was 8 or 9, lol!! He finally tied his shoes when he was about 15 or 16, it was an amazing day, we all laughed so hard!! He made me call his Grandma, hahaha!!

    • Kansas Girl says:

      My mom had it too. I’m sure I’ve told the story about the kiwi fruit here? Mom liked to buy groceries for me when there was a sale. Problem was, I shopped at the same store in a different town and the sales were the same. 20 lbs of potatoes goes rather too far when you’re single. Anywhooo… she found a sale on kiwi, which she insisted on calling kiwi fruit. I was surprised she even knew what it was. So she tells me to not forget to take home my bag of kiwi fruit and the conversation goes like this. You can supply my side by inserting “uh huh”, which was all I could say without laughing.
      Mom: Don’t forget the kiwi fruit. It’s in the fridge.
      Mom: It’s the round brown fruit. It’s in a plastic bag.
      Mom: They look like potatoes but they’re not.
      Mom: They’re furry.
      Mom: Inside they don’t look like potatoes. They’re green.
      Mom: They look a lot like avocados inside.But they’re not.
      Mom: So don’t try to make Guatemala out of them.

      • TexasTart says:

        ROTFL! 😆 Hey, Kansas, how you been?! Was wondering about you the other day – stay away from those storms alright?!

        • Kansas Girl says:

          Everything hunky dory here. Summer session is starting, so I’m busy again. Weather is holding out. We’ve had rain, but no scary storms. Tonight might be some, but it doesn’t feel like there will be. Sometimes you can tell by how it feels outside!

      • princesspindy says:

        HAHAHA!!!

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        Hahahah Guatemala!!!!!!

      • cocfarm says:

        That’s too cute!

      • Laineylainey says:

        One of my favorite stories on this here board!

  24. TexasTart says:

    Thank you Stars & BB!

  25. cusi77 says:

    Thank you, Thank you BB and Stars99!!!!! This is so much funnnnnnnnnnnnn! You made me laugh soooooOoooooooo hard! You can’t imagine how much this means to me!!!! Luv you gals!!!

    • Stars99 says:

      Laffin’ is goooOOOoooooOOOOOOD for is… it massages the liver! = ) (Well, at least that’s what someone told me once and that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it…) lol

  26. Cathy Connor says:

    Massages the liver …LMAO I know it tests my bladder control for sure hehehe

  27. chismosa says:

    Jennifer Love Hewitt pregnant. That’s nice. Her boobies are going to be GINORMOUS! She has such lovely natural boobs

    • pat says:

      She does. Now they’re gonna enter the room 2 minutes before she does.

      • chismosa says:

        and those are HERS totally, not like the Kim Kartrash’s. 🙂
        She seems sweet, like she’s in love with love…. i used to love Party of Five

        • pat says:

          I’m so glad she found a keeper. I haven’t followed her career closely, but I remember seeing her on a talk show in her early days of success, and she said she was not popular, and nerdy in her school days. She’s a sweetheart.

    • Powell says:

      Yes. Congrats J Love Hewitt. And they will be gargantuanormous.

      • missusmc says:

        And then they will be the largest, flattest pancakes in all the land. Or is it just me that happened to after babies?

        • Laineylainey says:

          It’s just you. oh gosh I keep bumping my chin on my boobs! They are so full and perky!

  28. “Reality TV normalizes narcissism,” said Audrey Longson, a New Jersey psychiatrist who recently presented research at the American Psychiatric Association’s annual meeting linking bad behavior and reality TV viewership. “It’s alarming.” LOL LOL LOL

    http://www.pbpulse.com/ap/ap/entertainment/bad-behavior-on-reality-tv-is-tested-path-to-fame/nYBgz/

    ARTICLE FROM OUR LOCAL NEWSPAPER……

    HUGS AND PEACE
    DIVA

  29. Kansas Girl says:

    OK, work day is over. Heading home. See you all in the chat room tonight????

  30. AZGirl says:

    Thank you Stars and BB! Boston the pictures are great! Day 8 of puppy watch. I am exhausted. It is so hot outside in the afternoons it is hard to get her out to go but she has been doing it.
    @HuskerHuny: The families of those boys must be devasted.

    I would never in my life or even at an earlier time in my life when I was a wild child (I know you don’t believe it) suck on a penis pop, pull out sex toys at an airport or get drunk in public at a club. If it was not for the camera’s, those women would have been risking their safety. I don’t care where you are it is not safe for women to get drunk in public. Purses get stolen, wallets disappear, drinks get spiked. From the previews it gets worse. I went to a bridal shower once and there was a stripper. It just grossed me out. I am not a prude in any sense of the word but most of these guys are really nasty.

  31. AZGirl says:

    Oh I forgot about the Newlywed show. If John were my husband he would be 8 feet under in a box made from the materials of the pool table. He is a douche. Hey John! take a look in the mirror. You are no Bradley Cooper. Horrible man.

  32. BB says:

    I’m watching ENews and Giuliana needs to rethink the spray tanning.

  33. We just had a 5.2 earthquake here on the Big Island. No damage here where I’m working. But definitely got my heart pumping.

  34. stellastars21 says:

    Husker Hunny:

    My heart goes out to you at this time of tragedy. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  35. ladebra says:

    Hey Nancy, Go LA Kings! I say Kings in … 7 🙂

  36. lillybee says:

    Dang, we got up to 105 today and temps are going to get hotter.

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      Our heat wave in NY finally ended last night-today we had the best weather-75 and sunny-nice change from 97 and humid!!

      • NJBev says:

        JnnTJ
        was it not the most beautiful day????!!!

        the only thing that urked me- was this morning my
        Mom said it reminded her of 9-11

        • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

          Bev-it’s funny-whenever we have one of these perfectly clear sunny days-when the sky is so blue and not a cloud to be seen-I always tell Kevin it reminds me of that day. That was the most beautiful morning-hard to believe the nightmare that was coming. The things that bring you back…strange right???

          • NJBev says:

            yes. right.

            I often think the same exact way.
            It was my Mom saying it that threw me off.
            She remembered. It urked me that I cannot help
            control what she remembers and what she forgets.

            My Mom has been in the Assisted Living for 3
            weeks today. I took her to the Dr.
            He was amazed. She gained 2 lbs. She looked
            beautiful(my Mom was was one of those
            who could stop traffic)
            Great blood pressure, her muscle tone improved
            phenomenally.
            What a great thing…………..

            oh oh by the way….. I took her shopping to a Bon Worth store
            yesterday and she got many lovely outfits. oh joy. serious
            happiness.
            I am enjoying my time with her again–
            even the Dr. noted that– he said
            “you are happy to be with her–
            it’s no longer a chore”
            he is right.
            He looked at her and told her she was
            once again beautiful.

            She loved it.

            • TexasTart says:

              Wonderful news, NJBev 🙂

            • Laineylainey says:

              This put a big ole lump in my throat. I could really feel Your happiness at seeing her doing so much better. Hugs!

            • ladebra says:

              I am so happy for you Bev! Truly, and so happy for your Mom also. My Mom moved into a retirement community when she started losing her eyesight (macular d), it was her choice but I imagine that didn’t make it any easier. 10 years later she is thriving and ecstatic about her life. I wish for your Mom many many years of no stress and joy in a community of friends. In fact, when the time comes, that is what I wish for all of us!

              • ladebra says:

                That sorta sounds like a wish for no stress and no joy, crazy! I mean stress free and full of joy. Whew 😉

  37. BB says:

    Krayonce’ (can’t take credit for the nickname, saw it on Reality Tea) may get evicted.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/04/kenya-moore-eviction-real-housewife-of-atlanta-faces-lawsuit-on-mansion_n_3385820.html

    • NJBev says:

      What the heck does she need 6 bedrooms and bathrooms for?
      That is just ridiculous.

      Anyone who ever rents a home to a RH is crazy-
      recipe for a lawsuit.

      • ladebra says:

        IKR? It would be different if she was buying the house, but to rent a place that big? That’s just a waste, but that’s just me.

  38. lillybee says:

    I am watching my favorite reality show, The Little Couple, right now, they are bringing their new son home today. What a wonderful family.

  39. BB says:

    It’s nap time for Will. Mr. Crankypants!

  40. lillybee says:

    I think that Will will have a wonderful life. He is such a happy and smart child. It looks like he is picking up some English already.

    • NJBev says:

      He reminds me of Ayden, the one son from John n Kate plus 8.
      He always had the best temperament, and he wore glasses. Will
      likes his shades!

  41. Nancy says:

    LA KINGS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  42. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Off on a field trip with Maggie-I hope the 1st graders don’t wear me out…BIG NIGHT TONIGHT!!!

  43. BB says:

    For all you Princesses of Long Island fans, the Empress has recapped it.
    http://realhousewifeofaiken.com/2013/06/04/princesses-long-island/

    She has also recapped a few past epis of Mad Men

  44. jules says:

    thought it was beyond reason that blair and jeff had a discussion that blair “wanted to suck him off” while he watched his home improvement shows. I don’t care to hear that from a gay or straight couple. If a woman had said that to her husband on the show there would have been a discussion on how gross she was to say that to him on camera. Why does it get a pass coming from a gay couple?

  45. BB says:

    How do y’all like my new avatar? Someone’s got too much time on their hands. Lol!

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