Real Housewives of New Jersey – S5E2 – A Manzo Of Her Word
Hello again folks. Welcome back for episode 2 of season 5…… I like to call it, the crapfest continues. That’s what I think of all these shows in the last year or so. Welcome back to returning posters and hello to any new ones. Let’s get to this, shall we?
Let me get this out of the way first. I am not touching, in these recaps, any of the Autism stuff anymore. I don’t honestly know anything about it and don’t expect to learn about it from a Bravo housewives show. I’ll watch, as you do, but since I’ve never dealt with an autistic before, I don’t feel it right for me to make any assumptions. It is obvious to me that each is different in their level of functionality so this isn’t a one size fits all discussion. I will talk about Jac and Chris in their personal discussions with others and each other about it in general but, when it comes to Nicolas other than stating I see a normal looking 3 year old reacting to a situation, what is going on with that kid is sacred ground as far as I’m concerned and I don’t think it belongs on this show. Not when the show isn’t About, living and working with an autistic child. A documentary or something like that on the subject, to actually raise awareness, I could accept but not from these trash heap Bravo shows. Further, from looking at last night’s comments, this is a very touchy subject and since I know very little about it, again, I’m simply not going to spend more time on it in these recaps (but reserve the right to comment in the comments). I don’t want to be this way but if all of that is a problem for anyone then I’ll let them recap those parts of the shows. I respect all of you who are going through all this because my only real understanding of it, is it never ends. That said, let’s really get to the show.
We start off in Teresa’s kitchen where she is serving the girls dinner/lunch whatever. Milania is ‘helping to cook’ and Gia has a conniption about it, warning her about splashing oil and when Milania gets burned, She is going to laugh so hard. Milania shoots back with basically a STFU. The four girls appear to be bickering back and fourth about stuff (for the cameras) and Teresa has about had it. She begins explaining to the girls that their grandfather wouldn’t like it. In fact, when SHE was a kid,, no one even got up from the table til everyone was done eating. You know, one of those walked 5 miles to school stories. All the while, Milania is mocking her mother. It was funny to watch but I know if I had tried that, there would have been some severe punishment. Even 3 yo Audriana is talking back to her mother a little bit (mugging for the cameras). I’ll just leave it at that. Poppa Gorga isn’t doing so well and he needs a pacemaker so Teresa has the girls make cards for him. Gia asks what a pacemaker is and as Teresa is explaining it, she says, “…. God forbid… “, Milania pipes in with “He Dies”. That shut the entire room up. Gia tells her never to say that again. TH Teresa says that dealing with all this would be simpler if she and her brother were on speaking terms but they are not. I enjoy watching these kids but I’m beginning to agree with those of you who say, having them on the show so much, not a good idea. Oh, TH Teresa also brought up the fact that the play date didn’t go very well and since Joey sleeps with Melissa every night, what she says goes so, not much hope at this point of T and Joey reconciling any time soon.
Let’s visit the Gorgas for a moment. Their real estate agent also visits them. I don’t really know what this was all about other than fodder for the show. It was a bullshit filler scene as far as I’m concerned. They want to know (from the agent) why people aren’t lined up to take that white elephant of a house off of their hands. After all, it’s only 3.6 mil when a few years ago, it would have been snapped right up at 6 mil. The Gorgas are still on this kick that they don’t want their precious babies going to school with Teresa’s little devils so the have to sell and move. (Just get another HW on the show and rent the house to her so she can pretend she’s a ritzy titzy bitch too. Problem solved).. Here is what I think.. They are underwater in their mortgage, taxes, and other expenses that they have to sell the house. Didn’t Poppa Gorga sell his house or let Joey sell it (or mortgage it) so this monstrosity could be built? Seems like I read that somewhere on one of these blogs (Famewhorgas?).. Anyway, the agent (correctly) tells them that the number of people with that kind of spare change laying around (and who actually watch their money), aren’t as many as a few years ago and no one is going to pay their price. Gorgas can’t accept that of course and tell him to get it done.
I’m going to stick with this house sale theme for a moment. Next to Milania mocking her mother, this had to be the best scene in the show. For me anyway. Later in the week or maybe even the next day, Jerry the real estate agent shows up with a ‘pre-qualified’ potential buyer couple. Gorgas let him take the couple through the house. Meanwhile, the boys, (kids, Joey and Gino) are wrestling on the couch.. See, MeGo thinks that makes a place seem more attractive to have two kids fighting it out on the couch while a potential (made for TV) buyer is showing the house (Any house I ever looked at, the owner wasn’t supposed to be there at all. I know there are a few agents here, maybe one can verify that for me). A little later, we meet Teresa’s friend, Jenn, who also just happens to be a real estate agent and She has a client (at the same time the others are in the house) to show the house to. I didn’t catch her name, the client, but supposedly, she’s a makeup artist or stylist to the stars. The Gorgas invite them to tour the house on their own. MeGo says it doesn’t matter whose friend it is, if she can dump that joint for the 3.8mil asking price, fine with her.
As Jenn and her client are touring the house, there are things the client doesn’t like. The keyhole windows for instance (I agree, Tacky). They walk into the bathroom, I assume connected to the master bedroom, attempt to turn on the water in the sink and the handle comes off of the faucet. They also note that the ‘marble’ counter top is not real marble but some sort of veneer on wood.. They note the fakery that surrounds them and ask (not sure who asked) what else in the house is fake (or something like that)… In what I see as the most brilliant piece of editing EVER on this show, the scene cuts to Melissa standing in the livingroom. ….. I don’t even care if she wasn’t even in the house at the time and they spliced her in from some other footage. B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T.
Go ahead, Laugh… I did, through the rest of the episode.
We’ve or some of us have thought all along that MeGo always gets the favorable edit as if they don’t see how fake she is. I guess we were wrong. Anyway, Jenn sits down with the Gorgas and notes the cracks in the walls they found, how they noticed the fake bathroom sink top, the broken faucet, and Joey comes up with this piece of wisdom… She’s buying a 3.8 million dollar house, she has the money, she can buy a new faucet. Oh yes, I failed to mention. Not only is he an Angel from God but now when it comes to building homes, he’s Michelangelo of home construction. It’s nice that he’s so proud of himself.
Next we visit the Manzo home.. Not the apartment in Hoboken but their normal house. The dogs are having a fit about something but it’s okay, they are in a cage. I suspect they are barking at the female Manzoid, Lauren. Big Al is there and Momz walks in with a couple cups of coffee for her, and Al. 24 year old Lauren, sitting there on her re-expanding ass, complains that there isn’t one for her. Momz should have known that Lauren would want some too. Momz says that since she’s lost the weight, she’s been a so and so bitch. This is what she says to Al. The Shepards (caged) are still having a fit when Momz’s sister walks in with Frito.. A chihuahua looking dog with three teeth and apparently smells like Fritos. Al wants to know how long this creature has been living in his house. I assume he meant the dog. 2 months. He doesn’t spend much time at home if he’s never seen (or heard) this dog. Sister leaves, sniffing her frito dog, hopefully to give him a bath, and Caroline drops the bomb that she’s going to reach out to Teresa. Remember the play date that Momz had with Joey last week? Well, she calls it a meeting and she’s going to invite Teresa to have a sit down. Whoever coined the name ‘Don Caro’ for her, nailed it. She’s convinced herself that Joey wants her to talk to his sister to smooth things over. That isn’t the way I heard it, she volunteered. The producers of this show don’t even try anymore to hide the fact that it’s scripted. Such BS. Anyway, Al tells her to expect to be told to go to hell, in so many words but, she has to try even though she said she was out of it again. We will come back to this a little later.
Kill me now, it’s a Wakili scene. Apparently it’s time for Joseph (17) to learn how to drive. Richie is a douchbag and is a bigger kid than his son so it is on Kathy to teach the kid to drive. He doesn’t want to teach the kid but he’s happy to sit in the back seat and comment about it. During the driving lesson, the kid runs a stop sign and nearly sideswipes a pickup truck while changing lanes. I’m glad I’m in Michigan and he’s in New Jersey. Joseph want to drive the Ferrari (?) but he has to learn to drive a stick shift first. Richie doesn’t miss the opportunity to tell him about shifting gears, getting to 4th, which puts the hand right at the young girl’s knee. Seems he’s also teaching his son what a chick magnet that car is… We cut from there to the school that Victoria is in to become a nurse practitioner (isn’t that a Practical Nurse?). Rich is ogling the late teen girls. Victoria wants to crawl under a rock, Kathy is fed up with his behavior (not all in the same scene but you get the picture). Victoria takes them on a tour and Richie, the young child he is, cannot keep his hands off of all the toys, further embarrassing his daughter. This is the same guy, who when she had a date (homecoming or prom or something like that) took the opportunity to have a talk with her suitor while cracking walnuts. So, it’s okay for his son to go after the chicas with the hot car but not okay for some other to come after his daughter. I’m sure that’s how it works in every family. Enough of these people. If this is all they have to offer, cut their footage in editing, give them their paycheck, and let them go away.
There was some TMI footage with Joey and ChrisL, about their sex lives. I don’t care to know this information, it was made for Bravo trash TV and I’m sure they had hours of other footage that could have been used in it’s place. Do any of you honestly care if or how either of these two gets it on? How often and whether enhancement drugs are involved? Didn’t think so. Meanwhile, Jacqueline is doing a vlog interview for Parenthood magazine on raising an autistic son as well as learning that he was autistic. I said earlier I wasn’t going to comment too much on this, if at all. In truth, I don’t know what they are really going through, I’m sure they are trying, I just wish they weren’t doing it on this show. By the way, that has nothing to do with hating Jac. I am certain she will give us plenty of reason to do so.
How about a poker game… Seems like these use to be just the men, sitting around talking shit, smoking cigars, drinking liquor and just some general guy bonding. Call it whatever you like but it does happen. This time however, they’ve invited Rosie. It wasn’t part of the main scene but one of those 60 second teasers they put in to make us think the 10 minute commercial break is over. For some reason, they feel it proper to ask Rosie, if either she or a partner does or would use, a strap-on. I hope I don’t have to describe that to any of you ladies. Google it if so.. It comes down to Rosie saying no, not going to happen, if she wanted that, she’d be with a dude (’nuff said?). We get some more discussion about the Chris, Jac, and Nicolas dynamic. I’m going to stop that part here.
Somewhere around this time in the show, Teresa and Kim D are walking out of some place, Teresa in her workout clothes, going back to their cars. I don’t think they actually worked out but this is another of those set up scenes by the production company. Teresa gets a call or text from Momz about this sit down (Why is everything with these people a meeting or a sit down? I think they’ve all been watching too much Godfather and Goodfellas and Sopranos). Teresa and KimD discuss for a moment if Teresa should accept the meeting. At the end of it, she decides to (Did KimD put on weight? I think everyone has on this show).
Let’s continue this line of the show… Teresa, in another TMI scene walks into JoeT’s office (I assume in their home) where he is going over some paperwork. She tells him of this sit down invite and he gives her some sage advice to cover her ass when it comes to Momz (essentially)… Then, out of the blue it seems, you can fill in whatever blank I missed here, but Teresa begins talking about the idea of women using their ‘flow’ to entrap men in the old days (is this another one of those Italian things?)… Offering them a glass of wine with a little something extra in it and she thinks that is perhaps how MeGo cast her spell on little Joey. I’m sure I screwed that all up somehow but I don’t care to watch it again to get it completely right. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it but I did to demonstrate that I’m not just all about excusing Teresa at every turn. I’m not.. She says some pretty phucked up shit and I’m willing to call her on it.
Next we see Lauren in her closet or something playing with makeup… In walks Momz to get her face done. She tells her daughter where she’s going and who she is meeting with. Lauren hates Teresa for being brutally honest with her about weight loss methods. That disgusting pig, Lauren, starts talking about how pure and great the Gorga kids are while the Giudice kids are the devil’s spawn, in so many words. —– BITCH, I HOPE, when you squeeze one out, if some dumbass ever marries you or knocks you up, you are still on this show so we can talk shit about YOUR kids —– She has officially passed Melisssa on the scum scale for me. By the way, she does this as she turns her mother into a clown.
Okay.. Let’s get to this sit down.. It takes place at a tavern. You may notice I’m not naming these places. I do that on purpose. No free advertising here. They want ad placement, they can pay NMD for it. Momz arrives first. It’s afternoon and it is a tavern so I guess I shouldn’t be shocked there doesn’t appear to be another soul in this place with the exception of the hostess. The hostess escorts Momz up the stairs.. Why? No idea… Then Teresa arrives. I guess this is the first time they’ve seen each other since the S4 reunion. They do the pleasantries and the lecture begins. You see, Momz has ‘written’ an advice book (that got panned months before it was even released) as she feels it’s her place to give advice, even though she says she wants no part of the drama, especially Teresa’s drama. She told us in TH that she and the others always had Teresa’s back and they always liked her but this isn’t that Teresa.. This is the same Momz who told Andy, and therefore us, that she never did consider Teresa a friend. Got that? Pick which side of your mouth you’re going to talk out of Momz. She tells T that Joey asked Her to reach out to Teresa.. Liar Liar Pants On Fire (again).. This woman has stuck her nose, again, where it doesn’t belong. Further, if she’s such an expert on mending fences, then why is there still a wall between her and Dina? This is something Teresa astutely brought up. Momz asks T how she can possibly be friends with KimD after what happened… T says she did nothing to me. Which is true unless you consider the fact that she did use T to get at Melissa (I still don’t think it was the other way around). Teresa asks how her brother can forgive Jac for what She has done to Teresa… Fact is, his entire time on this show, TheAngelFromGodMichelangelo has sided with everyone against his sister. Him and his troll of a wife. Anyway, naturally, Momz takes the side of her sister in law on this one. No surprise there. Teresa tells her that it’s nice of her to want to help but it’s really none of her business, she has no idea what’s going on. This meeting and the episode ends with Teresa agreeing to meet with her brother and letting Momz (who she just told to butt out) deliver the message.
That’s it folks. I’m tired, I’ll let you fill in the blanks. Til next time, Peace.. MTH.