What’s Next Bravo? by NMD
Hello everyone. I’ve finally watched Seasons 1 through 5 of Mad Men. I am completely out of touch with housewives, but hear that Joanna Krupa had a million dollar wedding (don’t really care), Brandi threatened to “cut a bitch” (really don’t care) and Aviva is whining about being a punching bag (really really don’t care). Meanwhile Jacqueline told someone to f-off on twitter because they said she was faking her son’s storyline, and I can actually sympathize with her. What the heck is wrong with people? If you cross that line, what line won’t you cross when it comes to these women that we don’t even know?
My issue with housewives is that the story lines are not subtle. Mad Men gives us complex, dark characters. Is there anything Pete won’t do to get an account? Was the price of the partnership worth it for Joan? How can Don switch from decent to disgusting on a dime? They make me want to think about them – understand them, just like I used to think about the Bethenny – Jill relationship. I don’t have to give any thought to the Tamra – Gretchen relationship. Shallow, self-serving women trying to hide their true selves from the viewers. Who are these women really? They are bad actresses trying to play poorly written, unsynchronized roles where everyone wants to be the hero and no one the villain. Joanna Krupa can have her million dollar made for TV wedding. Tamra Barney can delay her wedding into a spinoff that no one will watch. I’d much rather see Peggy Olson get married. The fictional Peggy is much much much more interesting than any of Andy Cohen’s housewives.
Bravo had better figure out their next move soon, because there is only so much Gorga-Giudice-Manzo fake fighting viewer will tune in to see. Caroline and Teresa sitting down at lunch was about as believable as Don Draper being monogamous.
Luckily it is summer and we’ll have Big Brother to amuse us soon. The blog is in need of some bloggers. If anyone would like take on any of the new shows, including Big Brother, please let me know.
- Long Island Princesses
- Big Brother
- Below Deck
- Anything else??
Email me – email@example.com
Real Housewives of New Jersey – Melissa’s Blog
Melissa Gorga –Melissa starts out her blog talking about Jacqueline, Chris and Nicholas. Enough said…
“On to the subject of selling our house. I know the perception out there is that we’re doing it for one reason: to get away from the Giudices. But the truth is, we put our house on the market months before strippergate. It was a bad time to sell though because of the economy, so we took it off. When all the drama of last season started happening, we decide to put it back on.
Runs around the room with a fire extinguisher in my hand yelling, “Liar, liar panties on fire!” You, yourself told us why you’re selling your house on last year’s reunion! Or was that also a lie? Which lie would you like us to believe?
Why sell the house that Joe built for us from the ground up? A bunch of reasons, but mainly, I just could not stand to live one more day with that cracked sink!”
Right… Surely I heard you tell Teresa that you wanted to move because of “a cracked sink”… Because really, isn’t that how we ALL would react to a cracked sink in a multimillion dollar home? “Gosh, our sink is cracked… What to do…What to do? Golly, if only I knew of a contractor who could fix it… Perhaps someone who was specifically familiar with the plumbing in our house and who would do a good job because he cared about the work… Hmmm… If only I knew someone like that…Well, since I can’t come up with another solution – The only logical choice is to move so we can get away from our cracked sink.” You’re just a lyin’ liar who lies… Do you seriously think we believe that for a second? I honestly can’t believe she actually wrote this in her blog. Oh, now I get it… the reason you’re not talking to Teresa is because of your “cracked sink!” You don’t want your kids to go to school with Teresa’s kids because of your “cracked sink!” I think that’s going to be my new explanation for things, “I’d love to get that project done for you – but unfortunately I can’t because I have a cracked sink.”
“Kidding. That sink, incidentally, is in the kids’ playroom bathroom. They were messing around in there, and broke it. It’s my fault we had it anyway. I ordered the sink online based on just a picture. Big mistake. When it arrived, Joe took one look at it and said, “What a piece of crap. I’m putting it in the kids’ playroom.” FYI: A marble replacement is on order. It won’t be cracked.”
Oh, now I get it – You were just trying to be funny. Hardee har har. Are you really trying to get us to believe that your husband, the contractor, agreed to order a sink online – sight unseen – instead of going with a sink from one of his regular suppliers? Wow. Okay, let me get this straight… You filmed this program several months ago and yet now, several months later – You still only have a marble replacement “on order?” And you’re wondering why you can’t sell your house? What an idiotic thing to say. Your whole story is cracked. And remember, crack is whack!
“Joe put his heart and soul into our house. His father wasn’t in construction. He had to teach himself how to do it on his own. He’s as proud of himself as I am of him and our home.
Oh come the freak on… This week, in Teresa’s blog, when talking about your house, she says, “But I will say their house is beautiful and very well made. Joey did a wonderful job. It’s in our blood. My father did construction in Italy and when he first came to America.” Okay, somebody’s lying and my “Crapometer” is pointing at you, Melissa! I’m not sure why you felt you had to say, “His father wasn’t in construction.” Is it opposite day or are you really just a dumbass? It’s pretty clear that Joe’s dad was in construction and he probably taught his son some stuff – but I’m sure your husband also had to learn a lot from other sources as he went along.
“The reason I pushed our broker Jerry to sell “now or never” was because of Antonia. I didn’t want her to have to switch schools in a higher grade. I know from personal experience that it gets harder to make new friends the farther along you are. My Mom and I moved to Florida when I was a freshman in high school, and that was a disaster for me. I know Antonia is a long way from high school. I just think the sooner she gets settled into a new school, the better. The drama with the Giudices was the final push to get us serious about moving. It seemed like the right thing at the time.”
Okay, if I’ve learned anything from watching, “Million Dollar Listing” it’s that you listen to your realtor and if you don’t like your realtor, change realtors. If your realtor isn’t performing to your expectations, then change realtors. Some of the brilliant commenters on this blog astutely pointed out that it’s really immaterial how much you think your house is worth – Your house is worth exactly however much someone is willing to pay for it at this point in time. Your house obviously isn’t priced appropriately. Your region just went through a major hurricane – People are just desperately trying to rebuild their lives – They’re probably not interested in buying an overpriced McMansion. Duh! It was stupid for you to put artificial pressure on your realtor to sell it “now or never” as if it was a life/death situation during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. It all just makes you look more and more clueless in life.
“On the episode, it comes off like Joe didn’t want to sell and agreed to it only because of me. Some people might believe I gave him my blood to put him in a house-selling trance. That’s just gross! Joe wanted to put it on the market as much as I did—and to get a good price. To my Joey Michelangelo, our house is a work of art. He’s in the business. He knows what it’s worth—3.8 million, even without a pool!”
Umm… Yes, that’s how it came off because that’s what Joe said on camera. Shall we rewind it for you so you can see it again – We have the technology, really we do! In addition, can we all just agree that you and Joe need to stop talking about bodily fluids? I mean, never ever talk about them again… I’m not kidding. Melissa then goes on to criticize the other realtor that came over to show their house. Blah, blah, blah…
“I thought having the boys around would help transmit the idea that “love lives here.” Of course, Gino and Joey started in with each other as soon as people came through the door. How freaking adorable are they?”
Real Estate 101 – Never show the property while the owners are present. How many of us have had to hurry up and get the heck out of Dodge when a prospective buyer was coming over to look at our house? While your kids do seriously have a case of the “adorables” you need to get those cutie patooties out of there when you’re showing your house! Melissa then talks about Joe’s father’s pacemaker surgery – and how much they love them and how they bring an “Italian vibe” whenever they come over. She also compliments Tre’s kids on writing the “Get Well” letters. That was honestly a very nice comment. I was shocked!
“Caroline and Tre had their talk. I appreciated Caroline’s going to bat for us. She’s dealt with a lot of the same issues in her own family and felt personally motivated to preventing it from getting worse in ours. The two of them have been friends for a long time, and had a lot of air to clear. At first it felt like she was getting too involved, but now you can see her heart was in the right spot. Caroline and I get along really well, and I love her kids and always will.”
Wait, Caroline and Teresa have been friends for a long time? “Friends” is not how I would characterize their relationship – Not even during the good times when they could actually stand to be in the same room with each other. Jac and Tre, yes… Jac and Caroline, yes… but Tre and Caroline, NO!
“Everyone feels that they’re entitled to an apology from everyone. No one is on the same page about who’s at fault, who’s to blame, and who should say, “I’m sorry.” It’ll take a miracle to sort that all out. But even in New Jersey, miracles do happen. Keep watching!”
Holy Future Storyline Telegraphing, Batman! Gee… I wonder if there’s going to be a future episode wherein everyone is going to apologize to everyone and there’s going to be a gigantic reconciliation? I’m on pins and needles… No really… I’m about to stick pins and needles in my eyes at this point…
Real Housewives of Orange County Blogs Blogged Part 3 by BB
VICKI (on Lauri’s beef with her): The majority of Vicki’s blog is focused on Lauri Peterson. Lauri spilled some not so nice gossip to Gretchen about Vicki and then proceeded to expand on her relationship with Vicki in her blog last week. Vicki responded as follows:
Vicki gave Lauri a job over seven years ago and she never had any negative or bad feelings towards her. When Lauri left the show, they were still cordial and nice to one another when they saw each other.
Vicki didn’t know what to do with the information she received from George’s ex-mother-in-law (by phone and e-mail), so she asked her close friend Jeana Keough her opinion about what she should do. Jeana passed this information to others, it got back to Lauri, and she was upset Vicki hadn’t told her about it directly. If she had it to do over, Vicki would have gone straight to Lauri and kept it between them. Vicki never went “public” with this information. She claims she only told Jeana and never had any intention of hurting Lauri.
As to why Lauri might be raising this issue now, Vicki says, “I guess she has an axe to grind with me and decided to come back to stir the pot. Maybe her life is a little boring, maybe the perfect Brady Bunch as she described her family wasn’t so perfect after all, and maybe she just missed us all. I doubt any of that is actually true though. In any event, staying quiet and letting her throw out lies about me is something I can’t do. You will see as the episodes evolve, I do approach her on this, but at least now you will have some background on what and why this is happening with her.”
Regarding the alleged “threesome” during the New Orleans business trip, Vicki says, “I had some of my close friends (who happened to be a few men) to my room for a cocktail party, which included Lauri, and my sister. It was really late in the evening, and a few of us sat on the bed talking while Lauri and others were in the room and was also part of this conversation. There was nothing ever inappropriate going on the entire time, everyone was FULLY CLOTHED, and she twisted it to Gretchen insinuating that I had a “threesome.” Vicki says those in the room at the time can back her up on this.
About the Greek man with no teeth, Vicki has no idea how Lauri came up with this one. Vicki explains a dear friend invited her on a cooking trip to Greece with a group of women. She and her friend were roommates and were never separated during the trip. When Vicki returned from the trip, she says “I told Lauri how attractive some of the Greek men and women [were?]. I told her we went dancing one evening and how much fun we all had and that we had met a group of young men that were a lot of fun. Nothing ever was inappropriate, or was there ever a time I was alone with them. The fact that she LIED again saying that I brought back a “toothless” Greek man is just unbelievable.”
Finally Vicki says, “Lastly, Lauri saying that I had multiple men during my marriage to Donn is another lie. Truth of the matter is I am in a male-dominated industry and I have a lot of male friends. I respect myself enough to know that I am not that person who Lauri insinuated me being.” Vicki says it’s been hard enough for her to expose some things on the show she wasn’t proud of, but she won’t tolerate lies.
TAMRA (on her “Dark Past): I’ve gone back and forth on Tamra’s sudden revelation about her “inner demons” from an early age and her depression. If it’s true she had thoughts of suicide as early as 12 years of age and she attempted suicide and was hospitalized at the age of 21, then sure, I will buy the fact that she suffers from depression. I will even go so far as to say it may have contributed to some of her personality traits on the show, including not wanting to become too close to others or her sarcastic demeanor. So for the sake of argument, I’m not questioning the fact that Tamra suffers from depression. However, I DO question the timing of this reveal, and we can all come up with a reason or two why Tammy Sue decided to do it.
So Tamra didn’t have a perfect childhood and suffers from depression. Cry me a river and join most of the rest of us, Tamra. I don’t believe either of those factors caused her to have treated Gretchen, Alexis, Vicki or even her ex-husband so badly in the past. I don’t need to recount all the viscous and vile things Tamra has said and done. To blame it on her childhood or depression is just ludicrous. I am very familiar with depression. I suffer from it as do some of my family members and friends. None of us have ever treated others the way Tamra has done on the show. Whether it’s her true nature or a persona developed to ratchet up drama, it doesn’t say much for Tamra’s character either way.
Would you want to be friends with Tamra Barney? Gretchen, Alexis and Vicki have all been victims of Tamra’s treachery in the past, both on the show and in the social media. It’s baffling to me that all seems to be forgiven so easily by the three of them, especially Gretchen and Alexis. All it took for Gretchen was lunch and a friendship bracelet. I predict in the near future, Gretchen is going to regret her decision to accept Tamra’s apology and offer of friendship.
Is Tamra really on the road to self-discovery and redemption? She says, “I am finally at a point in my life where I am happy. I understand why I am the way I am and I’m trying to correct the things I need to change. I continue to work out daily to help me deal with depression. I will always have a problem dealing with emotions and expressing myself and I might even have a freak out now and then. I am only human!” Sounds to me like she’s covering her bases for future Tamra-like behavior.
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM:
Alexis wants to have another baby. Jim doesn’t. Alexis says she will get her way. I don’t care.
Heather and her family just celebrated a wedding anniversary and early father’s day. Terry got some onion rings in the deal. I don’t care.