Real Housewives of New Jersey
How do you like my new banner? That right side of the blue field needed something and I think that is more than appropriate. I don’t know how much of a recap this will be as I took a pretty nasty spill Friday afternoon and I’ve been feeling it all weekend. Nothing broke and nothing too bruised beyond my pride because I know somewhere, someone saw it happen. The result is, I can’t sit very long in this chair. I will leave it to your imaginations which part of me is bruised the most. I’ll do what I can though. Let’s get to Crapfest 2013 part 4.
(I am basing a lot of this from memory. I won’t guarantee 100% accuracy but I think I’m close enough)
The show opened, I assume, the morning following from Gia’s party and we switch back and fourth between Teresa and Joey’s houses. Each wife is telling her side of what happened at the party regarding this hospital visit. Honestly, I couldn’t care less and I’m already tired of that storyline. We know that by the time of the party, Papa Gorga was doing better and gave his blessing for the party to go fourth. I think only his death would have shut that party down but that’s just me. Did she or didn’t she and when did she if she did, how many days after he went in, did any of the Gorga Youngers go to the hospital to visit Papa Gorga. Who cares? Well, apparently Kim D did as she is the one who started that convo with Melissa at the party. She’s Teresa’s soldier says Joey. Sounds more like he thinks she’s Teresa’s puppet. She must be a ventriloquist then because she must have her hand up Kim’s butt controlling her mouth and throwing her voice. The point is, MeGo is telling Joey that Teresa brought this up at the party. I didn’t see it that way. Her puppet did. It’s nobody’s business when or even if she went to see her FIL so they all just need to shut up about it.
Martyr MeGo- You put yourself on this show. It’s EVERYBODY’S business what you do. You put it out there. By the way, what do we see in the Gorga kitchen while this discussion is going on, complete with Martyr MeGo mocking Teresa? Her kids, and especially the one that can really listen, Antonia. TH Joey says his wife backs him and he just wants to love – gag. Meanwhile in the Giudice home, they are trying to count the number of days it must have been before MeGo went to the hospital because She couldn’t remember what day it was. I think she still doesn’t know. Enough of that. I’m sure we’ll hear about it for the next 32 episodes.
We then pay a visit to Kathy’s mom’s house. She is Papa Gorga’s sister and part of this rift between Kathy Rosie and Teresa began with her husband and Papa Gorga having a falling out. Apparently, in her mind, so much time has passed, so has the relationship with her brother. Kathy and
drunken Heinz Rosie are talking about this rift, their mother clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. At least that’s the way it appears to me. I still can’t with these people. Bottom line is, Kathy called her uncle a coward and Rosie showed her behind back stage threatening to cut someone’s (Teresa) heart or throat out. I don’t remember which. Never liked Rosie and she isn’t improving her image here because she seems to be the one who wants to perpetuate this rift between the brother and sister. The other parts of this scene are small discussion about Victoria’s 19th birthday and Richie’s 50th birthday. What kind of party to have. You just know there will be booze and drama involved, it can’t happen any other way with a Bravo show and especially with this band of hyenas. I’m going to leave that alone for a minute but we’ll get back to drunken Heinz Rosie in a moment.
Now we head out to Hoboken where the Manzoids are opening a restaurant. I guess the stripper car wash or the miracle murk didn’t pan out as well as expected. Not paying the bills (I’m getting this all out of the way now). I forget what the restaurant is going to be called, it doesn’t matter, I’ll never be there anyway. Big Al and Momz walk in and of course, nothing is ready so we aren’t near opening time yet. There is a chef there and they have Al taste a couple things, he pans it all for the most part and suggests Grilled Cheese Rounds. One of the Manzoids says in TH that the dollar beer and peanuts crowd isn’t what they are after in this place. Hoboken is full of those places already. Momz wants to know how much time they are going to be able to dedicate to this place with their other obligations to BLK (Miracle Murk). Whatever spare time they have they say and there are two of them. We get to see a list of the failures and dumb ideas from the Manzoids (but they fail to mention the live in girlfriend and boyfriend – Greggy (thank you Cusi, VV, and Nancy for those). Later in the show, Momz is there to witness the making of the meat balls, telling how she makes them, and we get to hear her dear son talk about his mother’s balls. MmmKay… These people really bore me to tears especially when the Manzoids are pushing their latest project. I read in the chat comments that this place has been open a couple months now and it has a 2.5 star rating with 57 reviewers (Thank you Amalfi). I take those types of ratings with a grain of salt though because no one has to prove they actually bought the product, whatever it is (in this case, food and service), to issue a rating.
Okay.. A lot of that came from the ‘first look’. Let’s get to the real meat of the show (if there is any)… Again, I’m not claiming this to be a 100% accurate as to time and exactly what was said. I’m not watching it again.
The next part of the show we are in some publicist’s office with the Gorga’s and some book agent. I didn’t catch their names, it really doesn’t matter, this is probably the last time we will see them. Guess what kiddies.. Melissa thinks she can pen a book. Not a cookbook.. Not a book on how to be a fake pop star… No, people, an advice book… On having a hot marriage. A Marriage Bible she referred to it as (either to the publicist or in TH, doesn’t matter which, she said it). She talks about or the publicist asked about her parent’s marriage… Her father.. I can’t remember who brought it up first but it seemed mighty conveniently asked about to me. Seems he was a good provider but would do things like go out for milk and stay gone for a couple days. He was a cheater is what it boils down to. Publicist wants to know if she’s going to talk about that in her book to give a different dynamic. It was brought up on the show, of course it is. In a later scene they are at home and Gino is hollering for his father. MeGo is on the couch
surfing the web watching her sisters and their twitter feeds typing on her computer and tells him to stop with the yelling. I fully expected her to threaten the kid with the hot stuff but, she didn’t. Then, Joey appears and magically, MeGo has sorted through a bunch of pictures looking for which ones to include in her ‘book’. Maybe I just didn’t see it but this mess wasn’t there when the scene first started. (Bravo, you are really slipping here with the editing) We then get to hear as she recounts, again, what a wanderer her father was added with how devastated her mother was when MeGo was in high school. We then learn that he died 4 days after she last saw him when he crashed into a tree. That right there should have told that pig of a husband of hers, that no one is guaranteed the next day of a life. I will end these scenes by saying, I’m a bit impressed with MeGo.. She actually managed to water her eyes for the Bravo dry cry. I wonder if she used soap in her eyes for that scene or was it just Visine eye drops. Can you tell I don’t believe anything she says or does?
Why oh why is this woman still on the show? Jacqueline. Now we have another ‘gate’.. Gym-Gate. She is in her house with a private personal trainer. I didn’t catch her name, if it was even mentioned. She says she doesn’t like to work out publicly because she doesn’t want someone behind her looking at her assets. What’s the matter Jac, Afraid someone is going to notice you Don’t bleach? The trainer tries to work with her but Jac has found a new BFFL in her mind. She’s spilling all this stuff about her previous encounter with Teresa, that she never had, about the Gym and all the other stuff that she would rather bleach her behind than worry about. The woman she said she needed to distance herself from for her own sanity. Guess what? Even though they haven’t seen each other since the reunion (so we are to believe), she can’t keep Teresa’s name out of her mouth. Clearly, she didn’t distance herself because she is in fact, insane. The only one in that scene worth watching was the dog on the treadmill. None of the stuff in that small closet of a room looked like it got used much. I think Jac did one squat while complaining that someone might look at her behind if she does it in public.
I think this is the point where we are back with the Manzoids at the restaurant. See above for that.
Party time (here we go)… As mentioned earlier, it is Victoria’s and Richie’s birthday. The entire crew sans the Giudice’s are on the tour bus going to whatever venue they chose. I thought I heard drunken heinz mention going to a club in Manhattan but I don’t know if that’s where they went. They meet up with Victoria and her gang there. This might have been a nice party but you know that’s never going to happen on this network. You see, among all the festivities and people having fun, we see Momz talking to the other girls about her meeting with Teresa. She wants nothing to do with Kathy or her drunken sister you see, even though she accepted a half hearted BS apology for the coward comment at the reunion. Even I could see that she wasn’t ready to accept it but did so at the other hyena’s (Fanny Andy) prodding. That is after the drunk back stage shut her mouth. We weren’t done with the drunk losing her mind at the reunion though. After Momz finishes with Kathy, she is on the couch talking to Richie about it and along staggers Rosie. She parks her wide load on the couch next to Kathy and gets the scoop on what Momz said. Then like her bull in a china shop way she runs around talking about how Teresa can go eff herself. Tells the entire room that anyone who doesn’t like what she’s doing at that moment, hand gestures can eff themselves as well. Victoria tries to step in and tell the older adults not to ruin the party. This scene sort of ends with TH Kathy talking about how Teresa even though she’s not in the room, has spoiled another party. WHAT? Oh, Wait, I forgot. Everything since Christ was nailed to the cross is Teresa’s fault. In fact, I’m pretty sure she built the cross and swung the hammer that nailed him to it. Melissa, Kathy, and the rest of these heifers better climb down off of their crosses before Teresa remembers how to swing that hammer. Even Momz is beginning to wonder who is the dirty one here. Melissa or Teresa.
Enough of that garbage, let’s get to the real garbage. Once upon a time a long time ago, I use to go to a gym. There were women there just as there were men. The women always had their hair up and tightly tied so it didn’t get in their way and had sports gear on. We see Teresa at the gym with her trainer. This isn’t her pal Linda that we saw last week but I guess a real trainer. Teresa is pretty dolled up from the shoulders up to be there just for a workout. I’ll let that go.. Maybe she’s just being Jerseylicious. Meanwhile though, we see Joey walk in and go to a weight bench and load up a bar with weight and start bench pressing. I will note again, from my gym time, that a Spotter was required for excessive weight, free weight that is. Unless it was a cage type bench that the bar cannot crush your chest if you can’t lift it for some reason. Anyway, he’s grunting away as he’s lifting when Teresa thinks she hears her brother’s voice. Oh Hark, she says, Is that my Brother? Insert eye roll here. Why sure enough, it is. She decides to go talk to him.
I’m going to side note something here. If these people haven’t seen each other since the reunion and had supposedly gone their separate ways, then it seems to me it would be reasonable they would know when each would be at the gym that they are both members of. We are to believe that this is the first time they’ve seen each other. Bravo and their producers must really think we’re stupid. Did they know each other was going to be there? I suspect yes but perhaps not. Maybe he was there during her time or she was there during his. I think they were both there during Bravo time (Try again Fanny Andy, epic fail). Another eye roll here please.
Okay… There is clear tension here as Teresa is trying to talk to her brother. She’s spotting him even though he told her he didn’t need (or want) her to. I’m not going to get into the he said she said. I don’t have the patience for it right now. Each is defending their spouse to the other one. Both are at fault for things they say and do and this scene explodes into a tit for tat and remember, TH Joey said he wanted to hurt his sister in an earlier episode. In the end, I think the true feud however is between the two Joes and the women have drug themselves into it defending their husbands. He claims that she is obsessed with his wife but it’s Melissa and her pig sisters that are constantly all over social media bashing Teresa. I’ve yet to see ONE twitter from Teresa returning that favor. Just sayin because I know if it had happened, we would have seen it. Anyway, the scene ends with Teresa throwing water on him and walking away while he’s still crying she is obsessed with his wife. Oh, Almost forgot… Now we have TWO angels from God. The martyr and her wife, Joey.
That’s it folks. I had more fun reading the comments than watching this show. I do not envy our Stars99 blogging the blogs for this hot mess of a crapfest. The two of these women say they are ‘good’ now. Anyone who believes that, I know of some beach front property in Needles California that I’d like to sell you. If I missed anything or it’s out of order, Oh Well. See you next week when Crapfest 2013 continues with the drunk going nuts again.
Til then, Peace. MTH.
PS.. One last thing. I know some of you like Closet Freak and her recaps. I will be including her previous week recaps at the end of the blog as she posts them. Here is the one from episode 3. It will open in a new browser tab/window.
Edited to add pictures. Thank you Stars99 for grabbing them.
Edited again. Empress has 3 new recaps up at realhousewifeofaiken.com
2 for Madmen and 1 for last nights Long Island Princesses