Real Housewives of Orange County

Real Housewives of Orange County

by Stars99 

The episode starts at a very empty and crazily unfinished CUT Fitness Studio.  It looks like the flooring and the painting both still need to be done. Wow – that’s just silly.  They really should have the HGTV Design Star crew come in since they could knock this out in 2 days.  Eddie had a table and chairs set up for dinner with Tamra.  They’re both cranky that the construction is taking so long.  The studio was supposed to be ready to open weeks ago.  Tamra is just so over it – she just wants to get it open.  Right… because officially opening the doors to a new business is when the work ends, right Tamra?  Lolol… Isn’t that where the real grunt work begins?  Evidently, the previous night was Lydia’s “Salsa Party.” In tonight’s edition of “I kid You Not” Tamra actually tells Eddie with a completely straight face (pun intended) that, “You could pass for a gay man in a split second.” Without blinking an eye, Eddie nods and responds with, “Well, I like to dance.”  Okay, this is really just too easy… Talk about throwing a soft ball out to bloggers… Well, maybe not so soft… but I digress… C’mon Tamra, you should try to make poking fun at you at least a little harder (No, I did not just make several innuendos… it’s just your own dirty little minds playing tricks on you again).  As sirens are whirling and red flags are popping up all over the place screaming at them to rethink this whole male/female marriage thing… the two continue their conversation as if they haven’t said anything out of the ordinary – Not that there’s anything wrong with it – But Eddie, you just prolly shouldn’t marry Tamra…. Well, actually, no one should be marrying Tamra… but that’s a whole nuther Oprah.

T Sneakin snacks 2As Mr. Overcompensation continues, he tells Tamra that she looked, “Damn sexy last night.”  I’m not going to say he’s a fashionista or anything… but he does have some specific opinions about fashion, not that there’s anything wrong with that, either…  Tamra tells him that she is annoyed with Gretchen.  Tamra invited everyone to go wedding dress shopping with her and that she wanted it to be a fun day.  Tamra did not expect Gretchen to say that she wouldn’t go just because Alexis was also going.  Eddie astutely says that Gretchen is being childish.  Then, Eddie all of the sudden says, “What are you doing?” Evidently, while they were talking, Tamra was feeding the dog and Eddie has a conniption fit. Tamra all but ignores him and tells him that Gretchen has been texting her over and over about tomorrow – but that she’s ignoring the texts.  She calls Gretchen self-centered and egotistical.  (I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you!) Tamra doesn’t know what to expect tomorrow…

Heather tells us that as soon as she finished, “Hot in Cleveland” she gets a call about an amazing show called, “Malibu Country.”  ooOOOOOOOo I love me some Reba… She’s excited and she’s going to the table read that day. Heather is a star This is a very kewl opportunity because it’s possibly a recurring role. She said that when she told Terry about the role that he didn’t make jokes about it or belittle it in any way.  He was so excited and just hugged her and kissed her.  Terry is probably just tired of sleeping in the royal dog house.  All Heather wants is the correct balance of family and work.  They’re talking on the phone while Heather is being driven to the table read.  Terry says, “Have fun but not too much champs, okay?”  Heather starts making gargled staticky impressions and says, “What, there’s a bad connection!”  I want to take this time to reiterate that only chumps say “champs.

People are gathering at Tamra’s house to go wedding dress shopping.  Lauri thinks it is funny that this will be Tamra’s 3rd time at the altar and that she distinctly remembers Tamra bashing Lauri when she got married for the 3rd time. Tamra says, “Even though I’ve been married 2 times before – Every other wedding dress was a maternity dress.”  Whoa… now that’s a statement, no?  Tamra has no idea about the kind of dress she wants and she wants her friends to help her pick it out.  Tamra explains that Alexis and Heather are going to meet them there and that they’re picking-up Gretchen on the way.

Lydia hates SladeLydia is asked about what happened between she and Gretchen at the Salsa Party – all they heard was that Slade told her she needed a cheeseburger.  Obviously, Slade has a habit of criticizing women – they’re too fat, too short, not the right nose… etc.  Lydia thought it was ironic because she was eating and he was standing right there with Gretchen and he was acting like a 12 year old girl in the corner and whispering about Lydia to Gretchen.  Vicki says, “Grow up Slade, you’re not a girl, oh wait, maybe you are.” Lolol… Tamra told Lydia that if it was something he wanted her to hear then he wouldn’t have whispered it.  Lydia agrees that you just don’t whisper a joke. Lydia thinks that a man should not comment on a woman’s looks – it’s just not nice.  Lydia says it rubbed her wrong and as a result she thought, “He was kind of a tool.”  My mind is spinning at just what kind of a tool Slade is… I think maybe a “Flathead Screwdriver” not only because we could nickname him “Fathead” (You know, cuz they sound the same) but also because he just talks around and around in circles, has limited usefulness and torque, and in most projects he’s easily replaced by a “Phillips Head Screwdriver.”

Lydia tells us that she thought the whole thing was just nasty.  She doesn’t like people to judge her on her body – there’s enough of that judging going on in Orange County.  The fact that Slade doesn’t want to take any responsibility for what he said just infuriates Lydia.  Now, if Gretchen had said what Lydia just said, I’m sure she would have said that it, “infurryates” her.  Lolol… They pull up to Gretchen’s house and they see Slade going in the front door, and Lydia sarcastically says, “Oh look, the man of my dreams.”  They talk about Gretchen’s Rolls Royce and Tamra says that Heather doesn’t even drive a Rolls Royce and she has a house the size of Japan.” Vicki just wants to throw up.  So do we.

Vicki just can’t help herself and makes a snide comment that Gretchen and Slade need to spruce up their front yard.  As Gretchen gets into the limo, it’s pointed out that everyone else is wearing very subdued colors like black and white while Gretchen is wearing fire engine red.  This day should be about Tamra and her wedding dress shopping day yet Gretchen can’t resist trying to be the center of attention.  Lydia says, “Whoa, whoa” and points out the fact that Gretchen is wearing what looks like to be a honkin’ engagement ring.  Gretchen corrects her, “Oh, this is just my ring from Jeff that I wear once in a while. It’s such a beautiful ring.”  In her talking head Vicki rants in her talking head, “Why is Gretchen wearing Jeff’s engagement ring at Tamra’s wedding dress shopping day? We’ve never seen you wear this ring in the last two years and suddenly you’re wearing it now?”  Vicki just can’t get over the fact that it’s Tamra’s day and what the heck is Gretchen doing?  Gretchen asks Tamra if she had ever done a wedding dress before?  In a Captain Obvious kind of way, Tamra responds, “Um, yes, I have been married a couple of times…”  Lauri says that the 3rd time is a charm and you’ve gotta go big on your 3rd wedding.  On a side note… I guarantee you that NO ONE in Orange County wears their most expensive jewelry when going shopping in Los Angeles or in some parts of Orange County.  That’s the time you DON’T wear the good stuff – Not even the fake good stuff unless you’re going to a function of some sort.  In fact, most don’t wear much jewelry at all when going into L.A. because you don’t want to call attention to it.  Seriously, Gretchen has no common sense. Oh and by the way… though I really don’t care about Slade’s feelings at all… How do you think it would feel if the woman you want to marry still wears an engagement ring that she got from someone else – Especially when there is no way on earth that you can afford to buy her a ring of equal expense?

Heather and Alexis are waiting for the others to arrive. They are having a cordial conversation and no one is telling the other to STFU or anything… Go figure!  Heather is happy that she and Alexis can be in the same room and have an actual conversation.  Tamra is asked if she has any ideas of the kind of dress she is looking for – or the theme for the wedding or anything.  Tamra says that her philosophy is that she is going to plan the wedding around the type of dress she gets.  Since they don’t yet even have a date, they’ll plan the location, theme, etc. around the dress.  All the women are like kids in a candy store as they paw through the dresses.  Gretchen is off to the side not even looking at the dresses while everyone else is having way too much fun for words looking carefully at each one… Tamra is determined that she will wear a dress to bed every single night just to get Eddie to set a wedding date.  As they reach for some champagne, Heather says that, “Champs is a necessity during wedding dress shopping.”  Lydia asks Alexis if things are good between her and Heather.  Alexis says, “The making amends world tour is done and we can now all sing ‘Kumbaya.’”

Besties without BraceletsAs Tamra is trying on dresses and modeling them, she explains that the dresses are really, really heavy and that there’s an internal corset that requires that you take short, shallow breaths.  Everyone tells Tamra that she looks like, “Bridal Barbie.”  Alexis says, “There’s something so elegant, and sweet and innocent about seeing a woman in a wedding gown… even Tamra.”   Gosh Alexis, and you wonder why people don’t like you?  Vicki clues in Alexis about how Gretchen had told Tamra that she wouldn’t come shopping if Alexis was coming.  Vicki thinks Gretchen looks at Alexis as being a threat to her and felt that it was important for Alexis to know that Tamra stood up for her.  By the way, even Alexis had the good sense to wear beige for this shopping excursion.

Suck it up buttercupAs Tamra continues to try on dresses, Heather says that Tamra has a figure to die for and that whatever that “inner corset” is that she wants one.  However, everyone thinks she said “intercourse” instead of “inner corset” and completely dies laffing.  Alexis has to leave, and goes into the back where Tamra is trying on dresses.  Tamra tells us, “Alexis is here and we’re not yelling at each other – Who would have known?”  Alexis tells her, “I want to say, ‘Thank you’” because Vicki had just told her what happened regarding Gretchen.  Alexis says, “I thank you… it means a lot.”  Alexis says her goodbyes and tells us that she put the past behind her regarding Tamra.  However, regarding Gretchen, in one of the funniest statements Alexis has ever made, she says, “I just wish sometimes that Gretchen would eat some of her own make-up so she could become pretty on the inside again.”  Tamra looks at this whole thing as a turning point in her friendship with Alexis but that she doesn’t know how long it’s going to last.  It’s hysterical that Gretchen can barely say a civil goodbye to Alexis.  Gretchen says, “I don’t hate her… I don’t like someone challenging who I am as a friend to them – I don’t need friends like that.” Oh Gretchen honey, you need all the friends you can get!

Girls - Beautiful DressIdle chit chat ensues while Tamra is trying on dresses.  Perhaps next time they’re picking out wedding dresses or talking about weddings it will be for Gretchen…  Lydia says perhaps it will be for Vicki and Brooks.  Vicki quickly says, “No, that won’t be happening.”  Lydia wonders what happened because Vicki and Brooks left together after the Salsa Party.  Vicki told them that she and Brooks went out for dinner and they ended everything.  Everyone asks, “But why?”  Vicki sighs and says, “Because I don’t fit his mold – His greatest love language is ‘quality time’ and that’s one thing I can’t give to him right now.  After 2 years of dating he should enter all areas of my life and he can’t because one of them is my kid – and it just doesn’t work for him anymore.”  Vicki further explains to us, “I feel traumatized because getting a divorce, and then falling in love with somebody and then having that end – It hurts.” Gretchen asks Vicki if she thinks Briana will ever change her mind on that?  Vicki says she doesn’t know – but that Briana is just not open to it.  Lauri then says, “I know Briana well enough and Michael enough to know that… I mean, they must feel something different – or there must be an intuition kicking in…”  Vicki agrees that Briana wants her to be happy and not be alone… but that she just doesn’t want her to be with Brooks.  Lauri says she wants to talk to Vicki about some things at some point and that she reiterates that she thinks there’s an intuition that’s kicking in with her kids’ reactions (More champs is poured)…you can almost hear ominous music playing in the background…

Lauri asks Vicki to expound about when they broke off their relationship.  Vicki says that it got bad about 2-3 months ago.  Vicki’s asked, “Are you guys dating other people?”  Vicki replies, “He has been…”  Lauri jumps in, “Well, he HAS been and the only reason I’m bringing this up is because I’ve heard some things…”  Vicki is surprised that Brooks would even know anyone who Lauri would also know.  Lauri says that she has some uncomfortable information and that she doesn’t know how much of it is true.  She also doesn’t know if they should talk about it on Tamra’s day (too late).  Lauri tells Vicki that Brooks is dating “one of our children’s friends.”  Vicki says, “He is fully able and willing to go date other people.” Vicki hasn’t dated but she knows that Brooks has been dating.  Gretchen says, “So you didn’t have an agreement to be
‘manamanous?’”  (Okay, in full disclosure… it could be construed that Gretchen pronounced it “monogamous” – but my hubster and I both listened to it over and over again… then checked how “closed captioning” captured it – and they replaced that word with “nonrestrictive” and since we prefer to point and laugh, and also since Gretchen never deserves the benefit of the doubt, we maintain that she said “manamanous.”)  Somewhere in the night, Stars starts to inexplicably sing a song with the Muppets, “Mah na mah na”…

Lauri dishes lydia sickVicki continues, “No, we broke up.”  Then Vicki says she wants to know who it is that he’s been dating.  As if it’s important, Vicki emphasizes that, “He wasn’t cheating on me.” Brooks wasn’t cheating on her because they had reached an agreement that they were kind of done.  Vicki says, “At the end of the day, I will always love Brooks – He truly is an amazing man – He got into my mind and he got into my heart in a way that no one else has.” Right, and he got into your money, too…and into your business with a crazy business dealing…  Whoa, Vicki really dodged a bullet with that one.  Vicki still wants to talk privately with Lauri cuz she wants to know, “Who the bitch is.”  Then it comes out that the girl is young and Vicki wants to know just how young she is.  Lauri, who is relishing serving this ice cold platter of revenge disguised as this horrible, hateful information, just keeps being evasive and saying, “She is very young.”  Lauri doesn’t know for sure but she’s probably under 21.  Vicki says, “Under 21?”  She thinks that’s a lie. Vicki knows Brooks’ has a son that’s 22 and that he wouldn’t date someone younger than that.  Lauri says, “Well, they might not be dating… I just know that they’re together.”  Vicki starts to stutter and gets more and more animated and agitated as she continues to pump Lauri for information.  Lauri gleefully continues, “A friend of one of our daughters has been with him… Vicki says, “A friend of one of your daughters has been dating Brooks?”  Lauri isn’t so sure that they’re “dating” but she’s been “with him.”  Vicki wants to know what she means… does she mean sexually?  Lauri doesn’t know about sexually… but Vicki wants to know what “with him” means… Lauri explains that it’s for breakfast and dinners… and then in her talking head, Lauri says that she doesn’t know for a fact that they’re sleeping together – but she can only assume.

Lauri spills the beansVicki wants to know where they met.  Lauri says that he met her at a poker party – and that the story is that he was throwing $100s to all these girls… Vicki says, “Well, that’s what they do at poker parties in the middle of the night.”  Nervous laughter fills the air… Vicki says, “So obviously, that’s just wonderful.  Even Gretchen is consoling Vicki at this point.  Lauri is saying she told her because she knows that she would want to know.  Lydia chimes in that she would want to know, too – Especially if they’ve broken up because this will help Vicki move on.  Lauri insists she doesn’t know the nature of the relationship but that the girl refers to him as her, “Sugar Daddy.”  In her talking head, Vicki says that if any of what Lauri is saying is true – it Whew Brooks didnt make a pornoreally hurts because she still has feelings for Brooks and that the feelings don’t just go away overnight.  Lauri says she has a video tape of the girl – Not of she and Brooks together but of what she does for a living.  Wow… this just keeps getting better and better.

Vicki asks, “Is she a hooker?”  Lauri confirms that she did do a porn video.  Vicki says, “She and Brooks did a porn video?”  “Lauri said, “No, no, no…no..”  Gretchen, because after all she is a slime in every sense of the word, says in her talking head that she’s not surprised that Brooks may be out philandering on Vicki because for all that time Vicki was philandering on Donn…   and that Vicki was philandering on Brooks with that guy in Cabo.  Gretchen says, “You know, Karma is a bitch, isn’t it, Vicki?”  Wow… here and I didn’t think Gretchen even knew any four syllable words – Much less, to be able to use them in a sentence.  She even uses the same word three different times for emPHAsis… lol… Actually, I’m not even sure that Gretchen said, “philandering” to be honest – it almost sounded more like “flandering” to me – which kind of makes more sense, since it only has 3 syllables. Leave it to Gretchen to flounder on the philandering… lolol.  Vicki just keeps trying to wrap her head around the concept that Brooks may be dating someone his daughter’s age and that he seems to be dating someone who has actually made a porno.  It all just doesn’t seem to make sense to her. For some reason, it doesn’t shock me a bit… but then again, I’ve always felt Brooks was really creepy. Lydia feels that Lauri should be telling Vicki this stuff privately because it’s brought a “dirty” air to room that’s filled with white wedding dresses.

Tamras dream wedding dressJust in time, Tamra comes out in another amazing wedding dress… And she can breathe in it!  Woo hooo… Everyone tells her the dress is fabulous!  It’s perfect and she wants it – all $10,000 of it… Gretchen left because she says she has a, “speaking engagement.”  Fortunately, all of the people who are appropriately dressed are still there so they can take a picture.  Vicki then steps away because she is sobbing…

During this commercial break, we all desperately want to see the Kraft Zesty Italian guy come on… but sadly, we only see a Skinny Girl commercial…Sigh…

Lydia and Lauri console VickiTamra doesn’t know why Vicki is crying (because of course, she and Heather were in the back when all this juicy information got spilled).  Lauri goes over to console Vicki and asks her not to be upset with her.  Lydia consoles Vicki and tells her she thinks she’s handling things really well but that it’s just really hurtful.  Lauri said that if Vicki had still been dating Brooks that she probably wouldn’t have said anything, but that since they’re “over” she felt comfortable saying something to her.  Huh?  How does that even make sense?  “Now that you’re not dating him, I can tell you he’s been unfaithful to you with a 21 year old?” So, if she had gone through and married him, you wouldn’t have ever told her? Lauri, you have said you’re really mad at Vicki for withholding information from you about George’s ex-mother-in law… but you’re now turning around saying that you would do much worse?  You make my head hurt…

As they’re back in the limo on their way to dinner, Vicki is putting on a plastic happy face (well, actually, she already had one on)… and says, “I’m doing great.”  Vicki finds herself stupidly trying to console the snake, Lauri by saying, “No Lauri, you didn’t make me mad.” In her talking head, Heather tells us that she knows that clearly something has happened.  She says that you should never stray away from the group or else might you miss out on some pertinent information.  They arrive at the restaurant and Vicki steps away from the table to field an incoming phone call.  Tamra bemoans the fact that she thinks Vicki is going to be taking phone calls on Tamra’s wedding day if it means she’ll make some money.

Lauri then dutifully starts to clue in Heather and Tamra about what happened.  But first, Heather tells Tamra that Vicki and Brooks officially broke-up but that she didn’t want to say anything at that point.  Lauri then spills the information that her 19 year old daughter had actually met Brooks.  One of her daughter’s friends was “seeing” Brooks.  Heather wants to know, “So how old is the girl?”  Lauri doesn’t say… but says she saw a porn video, let’s just say that…”  Heather wide-eyed said, “Can I say something without being rude, but did she need to know that?”  Lauri says that she would want to know.  Heather says that she’s the opposite… If she doesn’t need to know – then it doesn’t affect her world and therefore wouldn’t hurt her.  Lydia says that she would want to know.  Heather said that you would want to know if you were dating him again… Heather tells us that what Lauri is saying doesn’t make any sense.  Heather doesn’t understand why Lauri would give this terrible information to Vicki about Brooks.  She muses, “Is she trying hurt Vicki on purpose?  Why go there?” Ummm… ya think?  Vicki comes back to the table as the two chef/co-owners come up to the table.  OMG… they’re at “Border Grill” – Susan Feniger and Mary Sue Milliken’s restaurant… How fun!  I love them!

Heather announces to the table that she was offered a recurring role on, “Malibu Country.”  The show stars Sara Rue, Lily Tomlin (everyone, ohhhhs) and Reba McIntyre (oooOOooooo)… Lydia says, “Heather was fancy pants before – but now she’s fancy outfit.”  Tamra said that Gretchen told her that if Alexis was going to go today that she wasn’t going to go because she got offered a part in, “Reba McIntyre’s new show.” Heather confirmed that Gretchen told her that, too.  Heather tells them that after her table read for the show, she was talking to the casting directors and she said that her girlfriend, Gretchen Rossi had told her that she was offered a part on this show, too.  They told her, “No, she wasn’t offered anything.”  Vicki immediately responded, “So she’s a liar face?”

Okay… then we have some talk about placenta and oatmeal… and I refuse to rewind and listen to it again, much less type out the very gross conversation… sorry…

Vicki is stunnedHeather continues on with her story… Evidently, this particular show only shoots on Thursdays and not on Fridays.  Since they went dress shopping on Friday there seems to be something really wrong about Gretchen’s story.  Gretchen told Tamra that she gave up the role on “Malibu Country” so that she could go dress shopping with her – but now there is no role?  Heather says that either Gretchen was colossally confused or she’s a liar.  Vicki confirms repeatedly, of course, she’s a liar… is a liar, is a liar, is a liar… Lauri, in her talking head said that she’s “really offended” that Vicki is calling Gretchen “a liar” when she’s been lying to everybody… she’s the liar…”  Of course, she wouldn’t say that to Vicki’s face… she would just pretend to be a good friend who only has Vicki’s best interests in mind while stabbing her in the heart and twisting the knife… Heather says that it does bother her that Gretchen used that story for that purpose when it was not true.  Tamra said, “This is what bothers me… That she bold faced lied to me when I’ve really opened up to her. Tamra continues to try to make her point that she doesn’t open up very easily or to many people. She turns to Vicki and says, “I don’t open up to you, really… I don’t open up to anyone…”  Vicki confronts Tamra about how it seems she saying that she opens up more to Gretchen than to Vicki.  Tamra tells her to just listen… Vicki continues, “That’s stupid.”  Tamra tries to continue, “Just listen… I had gotten close to her and she bold faced lied to me instead of saying she didn’t want to go if Alexis was going to be there – she made up this lie.”  Tamra says that she doesn’t want any of her friends to feel like they need to make up a story to look good in her eyes.  In her talking head, Tamra says that it took a long time for her to get over Gretchen lying to her… and here we are a year later and she’s lying again.  It hurts her feelings.

Well, it looks like next week they’re taking another trip.  Since the RHOC have exhausted their welcome and aren’t able to film throughout the rest of the country and even in Mexico, they’re heading to Canada for a ski trip.  Sighs… I really love Canuckians – they are kind and good-hearted people…  What did they ever do to deserve this?  See ya next time!


About Veena (NMD)

Just a housewife ... who loves this place .... and loves to write ... You can reach me through this email: Lynn's Place is in tribute to Housewives blogger Lynn Hudson, who passed away in August of 2012.
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230 Responses to Real Housewives of Orange County

  1. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. It’s hot but a rainy day. I hope you’re having good weather today. Have a great day.

    • AZGirl says:

      Morning Powell! Monsoon season is here. Pool a mess this a.m.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Hi Pooh! We made it thru Monday…Happy Tuesday!

      • HuskerHuny says:

        Hi y’all! I am enjoying my first day of vacation right now! I worked yesterday but I won’t go back until next Monday! Weather is super-duper nice and my daughters will be in the house tonight. We are celebrating the 4th a bit early because of the girl’s jobs, but all’s good! My family only gets together a couple of times a year, so I enjoy it big time.

        This day is also a milestone for me and my family as well. One year ago today I took my husband to the hospital for an ongoing infection that he had been battling for quite a few years. I brought him home on the 4th and we haven’t had to make a return trip to the hospital in the past 12 months. Another thing to celebrate!

        I’m enjoying the wonderful cool breeze that is coming in my windows. I wish wonderful things for all of you today as well.

        • princesspindy says:

          Congrats on your hubby, how wonderful!!! I hope your ear is all better! Have a great time off!!!

        • Powell says:

          Husker the 4th is your husband’s Lucky Charm. I hope you don’t ever have to take him back to the emergency room.

        • Stars99 says:

          Wooo HoooOOoooooo…. That’s so GREAT, HH! Doin’ a lil happy dance… shimmy, shimmy to the left; shimmy, shimmy to the right! = )

  2. AZGirl says:

    I did not watch OC but I did catch up yesterday with NJ. Mel is getting really bad edit this season. I bet she wishes she had that producer friend still on staff. I cracked up listening to Joe G explain to Tre what his “Napoleon” comment about her brother meant.
    Richie and Kathy’s scenes were really stupid. Kathy is whiny. Rosie needs meds.
    Milania is gold. Andriana is beautiful.
    off to the gym….no not Tre’s gym…MY GYM

    • Powell says:

      HA!! Not Tre’s gym. How about Joey’s gym. And not Jac’s gym. Her gym is at home w/her drinking trainer. 🙂

  3. Rebecca says:

    When i was twenty-something, I worked for a real estate brokerage and most of the staff was my age, so we were fun. We had a “spork” that was painted gold and we taped it to people’s monitors when they were having a bad day. We made fun of ourselves for being useless tools.

    You get it with your KFC and if you tear into your chicken, it breaks. You can eat your mashed potatoes with it, but you can’t get everything at the bottom because of the prongs at the end. You can’t spread your butter with it because it’s concave and rips up your biscuit. So – yes, it’s pretty damn useless.

    Slade – you are officially a spork. You are a completely useless tool.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      I love your dissertation on the spork. good reading. I might have to borrow it for my own use. I’ll pull it out of my plagiarism bag sometime when one least expects it.

      • Rebecca says:


        I don’t think we invented it. We just celebrated it. Go ahead and use it to your heart’s content.

        • HuskerHuny says:

          Those sporks are truly useless. I tend to eat my chicken with utensils and I always break those suckers. Glad to know I’m not the only one! Funny stuff.

        • LaineyLainey says:

          Hi Rebecca, it was you. I just posted about the spork. I shared the metaphor with my workmates, too… so we could have a new code word for a “useless tool” – – aren’t we nice? And I work at a church!!! LOL!

    • Love the spork story! LOL!

    • ramonacoaster says:

      Slade “Spork “Slimey” Smiley
      I love alliteration. Thanks for the spork definition.

    • turtletime! says:

      Hilarious re the spork, and you’re so right! Perfectly defines Slade. 🙂

    • AZGirl says:

      HA! Good one Rebecca!

    • Powell says:

      Rebecca I never thought that much about the spork but you are so right. Very little use of a tool.

  4. Powell says:

    A few of us watch Under the Dome. How was it last night? I wasn’t feeling well & didn’t watch anything.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      liked it…

    • melthehound says:

      I watched it here last night (I can plug my computer into the tv via HD)…

      A guide for watching these..

      That snot councilman’s son obsessed with that girl is already beyond my last nerve. I don’t know all the names yet.

      • SoutheastVA says:

        With everything going on becuase the town is under a dome, I think the creepy/kidnapping councilman son’s storyline jumps the shark. It’s not needed.

        • melthehound says:

          I think so too. I hope he goes after that other guy again (who killed the other guy in the opening scene) again and gets himself killed. Just for the kidnapping principle alone..

          • SoutheastVA says:

            We’re on the same page. He needs to go. I hope they find the girl he has stashed in the bunker though. The other guy who was killed by new guy in town was the town’s Dr. married to the journalist. She doesn’t know she’s letting her husbands executioner stay in her house. CREEPY!

            • melthehound says:

              It ought to be interesting if she finds out who he really is.

              I’m surprised that being under a glass dome-like though, they aren’t all roasting from the heat. Eventually, their atmosphere is going to run out…

            • Powell says:

              Yeah. Very creepy.

        • Powell says:

          Good point but I knew he was going to do something to her when he said he wasn’t going back to college. Then w/the town in an uproar & he really started acting crazy i thought, “he’s doing this now when the town has creepy stuff going on”. I read this is from Stephen King’s novel. Anyone read it?

          • LaineyLainey says:

            Think about it, Powell. No one ever needs the cray, but the cray just is. My thought process is….did the Dome drive him to hither and nigh? Is that what drove him crazy? Or was he one of those people who are predisposed and the stress of the Dome caused the psychotic break. I kinda like that part of the story,…keeps me feeling kinda askeered.

            • Powell says:

              Ahhh Lainey. Now you’ve got me thinking. I’ll keep that in the back of my mind each epi.

    • not THAT Jill says:

      I must watch this show!!!!! I’m going to see if I can watch On Demand tonight!!

      • Donna says:

        you can watch it on CBS internet network, some channels I have to sign in with my cable tv provider

        • not THAT Jill says:

          I’m going to watch tonight-how many shows have been on? I see 2 On Demand

  5. Powell says:

    Stars you are just crazy. NMD thank you DP much for having the bloggers you have blog these HWs. I don’t know who is the most zany blogger out of the lot, “but that’s a whole nuther Oprah”. 😉

  6. Rebecca says:

    One American left at Wimbledon. Go Sloane Stephens!

  7. missusmc says:

    I think Gretchen is probably the most psychologically messed up of all the housewives, ever. She isn’t a “girl’s girl.” All of her self worth seems to come from how men respond to her. She can’t handle criticism; she can’t be honest. There’s something very desperate about her (remember when she first came on the scene and her life goal was to have 4 kids like Tamra, and her favorite drink was supposedly the dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olive like Vicki and ohmygosh I’m ashamed that I still remember all that). She has no personality of her own. Last year, she was supposedly offered the Fox 5 gig first; now, she’s supposedly offered the acting roles that Heather is first? She’s the female equivalent to Patrick Bateman (the American Psycho dude). She tries to “collect” friends, and thinks that by getting them to divulge their past, she’s gained their trust, or she at least has their secrets or something. I don’t think we’ll ever know anything of who Gretchen truly is, because there is no one “true” Gretchen. Her personality is devious and sinister. It makes perfect sense why she is with Slade, because he is much the same way. People like that are truly scary.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      but yet, she’s the perennial victim…interesting, huh? She would be an interesting case study.

    • princesspindy says:

      So do you think that Alexis wasn’t lying at the reunion and Gretchen was….something about being offered a show….there are some things I remember about these show as if I were there and I can quote them, chapter and verse, it is embarrassing, lol, but other things just are vague recollections….

    • NMH says:

      I really like your thoughts here I’m Gretchen. She at first comes across as sweet and unassuming but as the years have been going by I find her to be very underhanded and sneaky and not as nice as she pretends to be. At least with Tamra here nastiness is not a surprise, you know what you’re getting, but I mentioned last night on twitter that something is mentally wrong with Gretchen. On an up note, I really like Lydia and didn’t totally hate Tamra or Heather at all last night. Surprise,surprise!

      • missusmc says:

        I think she has a personality disorder. Nothing adds up with her. Remember Dina’s infamous quote about Danielle wanting to skin her and wear her like last years Versace? I think it’s much more fitting with Gretchen. Generally, the person who claims the loudest “I’m so honest” has the most to hide.

        • melthehound says:

          Generally, the person who claims the loudest “I’m so honest” has the most to hide.
          That’s been my general experience. Saying “I’m so honest” is worlds apart from just telling the truth BTW.

      • Powell says:

        Lydia is a breath of fresh air. She really does want everyone to get along and she stands up for herself & doesn’t take any sh*t from any of them.

    • not THAT Jill says:

      Miss-your thoughts on Gretchen are very interesting!! I’m waiting for her blog-she said on twitter that her blog will explain all about the Malibu country” thing…I’m so sure it won’t!!!!

  8. BB says:

    Thanks for another zany recap Stars. Got quite a few chuckles out of this one.

  9. Lulu says:

    Good Morning all!!!! Can’t believe my Aiden is 5 weeks today! So had a cute wish I had a camera moment. My 1st picked up Aiden with my supervision of course and gave him a hug and kiss!!!!! Was the cutest moment!!!! Ok now everyone say “Awwww!”

    BB in baby land! What is Jack up to? Must keep us in the loop! 🙂

    Starsy thanks again for a spectacular blog!!!

    So Heather is growing on me but not on OC. She really does not belong there. I do like that she put Transvestite in her place with her transparent stories. Please a friend told me that so and so did that and this. What an idiot! Another one growing on me is Lydia. She’s quick.

    Placenta-gate did we really need to hear about “eating” Placenta????? If mine didn’t abrupt I’d never in my life think of eating it! EWWW eWWW eWWW!!! Gross!

  10. LaineyLainey says:

    Seems to me the only time placenta eating is understandable is during a zombie apocolypse. Oh, and you must be a zombie.

  11. Good Morning, Good Morning! So excited I have time to pop in and say hello! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summer. A holiday week too….woo hoo!

    I actually got to watch OC in real time last night. Not sure if I am excited about that or not! LOL! There were so many “moments” that raised my eyebrows…in humor, disgust, and shock…take your pick! But these were some of them:

    *Eddie & Tamara’s dinner in the beginning – can we say..”Eddie is soooo not into Tamra”? He was so much more interested in his food than in her. And the gay comment…his reaction was hysterical and NOT what a “guys guy” would say. Too funny.

    * The wedding dress that Tamra tried on at the end of the shopping trip that she claimed was “it” was so much prettier than the dress I saw she actually wore in pics. It was a horrid dress…but then that is fit for a horrid bride I guess!

    * I usually never comment on appearances…but can someone please tell me what the H E double hockey sticks was going on with Vicki’s pants?? NOT a good look for her!

    *Laurie – I used to like her in the very first epi’s of the show…but all that with Vicki last night was just…UGH! Cringe-worthy!

    Stars99 – Mouse! Thanks for the great recap! You shine, as always!! And NMD and MTH…thanks for keeping the blog going through thick and thin. You all rock!!

    Wishing everyone a fantastic holiday week!

    New post, “Tuesday Affirmations ~ Challenges”, is up at my place. Enjoy!

    • not THAT Jill says:

      Hey Mar-how you doin’???

      • Hey Jill! I’m good…how are you darlin’? Good to see you and to be here for a bit! 🙂

        • not THAT Jill says:

          I’m doing great-enjoying my summer with the girls-Maggie started a summer reading program and Annabelle is enjoying sleeping till noon-typical teen!!! Nice to see you too!!!

          • How great! Teens sleeping until noon…I know that one. My DD, when she was a teen, could sleep foreeeeever! Now that she is an adult with a career, she can’t sleep past 7am even on the weekends. She misses her sleep marathons! Have fun with your girls!

    • kokuanani says:

      I thought I read in US magazine or somewhere that Tamara had THREE dresses that she wore at the wedding & reception. Just like the “movie stars” she aspires to be.

    • Stars99 says:

      Hey there MarDrag/Barnabas – It’s always so great to hear from you… Hope you and yours are doing well, my friend! = )

  12. lillybee says:

    Heat wave victims, try and keep cool.

  13. not THAT Jill says:

    STARZY🌟🌟🌟 awesome blog!!! No flandering!!!!
    If I ever get married again I will not invite catty bit*hes to my dress shopping!!! Who wears a dead guys engagement ring? That was weird!!! And what was with the raincoat? Was she nekkid underneath b/c she never even unbuttoned the damn thing!!! Laurie may know some things about Vicky and about Brooks but she isn’t gaining an fans by spilling the beans!! She looked foolish and mean and it said more about her than it did about either of them. Gretchen enjoying the whole thing looked mean and cold-not a good look for any of these women!!! I actually didn’t mind Heather this week-I’m glad she told Laurie that she really didn’t need to tell Vicky all of that!!!!

    • missusmc says:

      I bet that ring is worth a lot of money that could have gone towards Grayson’s medical bills. Her wearing the ring further proves my “Gretchen is psychotic” theory.

      • not THAT Jill says:

        That’s what I was thinking-why not sell it? I would feel strange wearing it…but I’m not anything like Gretchen and her flandering ways!!!

        • Contessa says:

          Jill – gotta love you GF – awesome post. My first H died and eventually I sold my ring when I decided to get on with my life (it was not a huge diamond). Second H – asswipe – loved my setting and I inherited the diamonds from my MIL – had the ring made after she died, as I never had an engagement ring – just wedding bands – this ring was made 5 years after we married. Anyway, after the divorce, I had the ring redone so it didn’t look like an engagement ring. Gretchen is a disgusting slut pig, and to call attention to herself with that ring on someone’s special day was low class – but she is low class anyway you look at it.

          • Contessa says:

            Jill – your entire read of the situation regarding Gretchen, Lauri and Heather – right there with you. There are just some things that go against GF code. I live in AZ, and we have some really ugly looking lizards here and I now realize that when I look at Lauri she reminds me of those lizards – their faces don’t move but that nasty tongue just flicker out, just like hers when she is spreading unnecessary gossip.

          • not THAT Jill says:

            See I can totally get behind keeping the ring and resetting it but to wear it like Gretchen did-I could never!! Especially when she is going out with broke ass Slade!!! Way to make your loser boyfriend feel like a bigger loser( if that’s even possible!!!).

            • missusmc says:

              I could almost understand wearing the ring, because she’s trying to keep up with others. I just will never understand how any decent human being can go to the hospital where Slade’s son is having brain surgery, know how much the family is struggling to stay afloat financially, and continue to wear the ring. If you’re going to be a POS and keep the ring instead of selling it to financially support a little boys with a terminal illness, at least have the decency to not wear it and flash it around for all to see.

            • Powell says:

              I agree about the ring but ring or no ring for Slade to compete with, he’s a big loser either way.

      • Buttercream says:

        Thought the same thing!

      • Powell says:

        If Gretchen sells that ring to help Slade she’s a bigger idiot than I thought. Slade needs to get out of the mess he’s in by himself. He used to model. Get his ass in shape & find some modeling gigs.

    • Stars99 says:

      lol Jill.. the REAL Jill… No, we can’t flounder on flandering regarding philandering… or about being “manamanous”… It’s all just so danged infurryating!

  14. jules says:

    Once again, a great recap Starss99. You have just the right amount of humor and snarkiness! I didn’t watch and I’m certain your recap is much more interesting than the show. Gretchen and Lauri are both horrible women. I’m sick to death of them both and I don’t even watch the show.

    Rebecca, “spork” LMAOOOO Spork is the perfect description for Slade!

    • Stars99 says:

      Aww… thanks, jules… So glad you’re stepping away from RHOC… it’s not safe… no seriously… they never warn you before they say something really stupid and if you’re in mid sip of your beverage of choice… it’s possible to snort it and it’s a mess… allegedly and stuff…

  15. lulu says:

    Get her vicki!!!!! Attack attack!!!!!

  16. princesspindy says:

    Stars, thank you, I really enjoyed your recap!! You filled in all the parts I missed as my attention was diverted to more interesting things, like watching my ceiling fan…… Made me laugh and I needed that! I was afraid that you were gonna give Gretchen a pass on her mispronunciation but LOL at how you didn’t miss it and how you snarked (that’s right, I made it a verb!)it!!!! Great Job, IPPHO!!

    • Orson says:

      Stars has quite the talent for snarkification. 😉

      • Stars99 says:

        Well Orson… “Snark” is my middle name… plus I took Snarking 101… I’ve almost completed enough credits for a certification… but I keep failing the class, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

        • Laineylainey says:

          I think You went to this clases instead “if You have nothing nice to say, SiT NEXT TO mE!” – Steel magnolias

    • Stars99 says:

      lol Tiara… “My attention was diverted to more interesting things, like watching my ceiling fan”… Hardee Har Har… Did you have any paint drying at the time, too? Hope things are going well with all the costumes and stuff… You’re the best CC Mom Ever!

  17. turtletime! says:

    GREAT recap, Stars, thanks! I really felt bad for Vicki, especially when the camera caught her off by herself crying. Lauri was so cold in her delivery of the info. Dished it out slow, in monotone voice. What has me a little puzzled tho, is that Vicki clearly got back with Brooks. Seems she can turn a blind eye to a lot of b.s. She only just recently kicked him to the curb (again). Maybe because he hit her in the one place she won’t tolerate. Her money. As a business owner, your reputation is everything. And if she thinks Brooks effed with that, that might be what finally got her to move on.

    • kokuanani says:

      I think we can now figure out why Lauri was invited back on the show. She probably ran to the producers as soon as she heard about Brooks’ “tryst” with the porn star, and the producers jumped at the “drama” of this “reveal.”

      OTOH, Andy is SO in love with Vicki, I’m surprised he let this happen. FWIW, I hate Vicki, and I think all the plastic surgery has made her uglier. Time has not improved her personality traits either.

    • Stars99 says:

      Thanks Turtle Time… Do you know that I just want to dance every time I read your name? lolol… cracks me up! Vicki is a prime example of, “love is blind” – No? lol

      • turtletime! says:

        I haven’t read the rest of the comments here, but I will add that I’m no Vicki fan. I think she has major issues, has been a serious mean girl, etc. I just felt sad for her in that moment.

  18. Powell says:

    Gretchen’s lie sounds very familiar. When Alexis was offered the job at FOX didn’t Gretch say, “they offered me the job first”? So now Heather gets a role on Malibu & all if a sudden Gretch who is a total nobody in the acting world gets a part on Malibu? I agree w/Alexis. Gretch needs to eat some of her makeup. She’s just looking ugly & bitter. Gretch is the one that insists on competing & trying to one up the ladies in the group. Liar, liar, Gretchen.

    • Contessa says:

      Powell, so true…I felt so bad for Alexis last year when Gretched announced she was offered the news show first and turned it down (like that would ever happen). I think they interviewed several women and Alexis got the part, because she can be funny at her own expense. I would have never told a friend they offered me a part, and I turned it down and she was second choice – even if true. Now she is saying she was offered a part in a TV show, which she turned down to go wedding dress shopping with Tramprat…that is the stupidest thing ever. If that was really true, she would have told Tramprat. I just read Heather’s blog and she says that Gretched, with several others was asked to come in for a walk on and she was not chosen, it was not for a part….big difference. Gretched hates when she is not the center of attention, she is a pos. On the previous show, when Slimey was telling her about his son facing another surgery, she looked bored and aggravated with the entire conversation. I wanted to jump through the TV and slap her silly. Here is a child with a horrible illness, who has survived many many surgeries and this pos is talking about having a baby with Slime. I really dislike Slime, but he is still a father, and I as a woman would not be discussing having a baby at a time when is facing losing his child. That to me is the epitome of selfishness and conceit. She is definitely missing the compassion gene, as well as a few others like brain clicking into pronounciation and grammar.

      • Powell says:

        Right. If she or any of the ladies were offered a part, although I don’t like Tamra, she would have told them they better go get that job & that she understood. Gretch thinks the ladies & the viewers are dumb as a rock as she is.

    • Buttercream says:

      Yes – you are right about the gig offered to Alexis when Gretchen lied about “they offered me the job first” … perhaps at the reunion, the HW’s with the longest tenure on the show will be able to articulate Gretchen’s pattern of lies emerging over the seasons … it’s tough when HW’s come and go … from season to season …

  19. shamrockblonde says:

    did anyone catch where exactly Gretch had to go when she left the wedding dress extravaganza?

    • not THAT Jill says:

      I believe she said she had a speaking engagement…..

      • windycitywondering2 says:

        Driving away in her “you still have to pay for it even though I gave it to you” car muttering to herself about not being the center of attention does not constitute a “speaking engagement”….. just saying!!

      • Contessa says:

        Jill – she was going to a pgp meeting for people who have issues with phonics, grammar, and pronounciation. I am now convinced that Slade writes her blogs.

        • not THAT Jill says:

          She is an idiot Contessa-she can not speak to save her damn life!!
          WCW-was she really saying in the car or are you being funny????

          • LisaJ says:

            I think Gretchen having her lips done might have a little to do with her speech problems. It’s like she has problems getting her lips together to pronounce an “m”. I’ve heard her say “soNething” instead of “something”, and “hiN” instead of “him”. The fact that she’s an idiot probably doesn’t help either.

            • LaineyLainey says:

              hA HA, Lisa J…love your last sentence. But if it were her lip job,…It would sound more like a b…subthing. hib. and the like. She would have to be purposely utilizing her tongue to make that n sound. Try it. mmmmmm lips together. nnnnnnnnnnnn…requires tongue utilization. One must engage the tongue to say sunthin or sunthing. She’s engaging her tongue, I TELLYOU! jk, sorry for the outburst.

            • not THAT Jill says:

              LisaJ…I agree-her being an idiot doesn’t help!!!

            • missusmc says:

              Phoebe on “Friends” also said ‘sonething’ instead of something. Drives me crazy to this day if I catch a rerun and I hear it. I think some people just do that. I dated a guy once who would say Valentimes Day instead of Valentines Day. It was, quite literally, the final nail in the coffin for our relationship. I’m shallow like that.

              • not THAT Jill says:

                miss-I used to date a guy who said valentimes and field GOLD…it was too much!!!!!

            • Catseye says:

              It could be botox around her lips (to prevent/soften wrinkles) that causes her to mis-pronunciate, but I agree she IS an idiot since she uses words incorrectly and her blog is something else!

      • shamrockblonde says:

        thanks Jill – I thought I heard that too, but given her problems with enunciation and comprehending the english language, I thought I was mistaken – wonder where she had this speaking engagement – and who was there? I agree that Gretch wore that ring for the sole purpose of bringing attention to herself – Vicki is technically right that Gretch is a liar, but I really wish that she would tone down being so dang happy about it being proven –

        I also wondered what Gretchen had on under that coat – maybe not taking it off was yet another way to bring attention to her as well – tool and toolette – they deserve each other –

        • not THAT Jill says:

          Toolette…I love that shamrock!!!!!

          • LaineyLainey says:

            I love it, too. But can I go one step further and call her a “Sporkette”… (useless tool)…bowing to Rebecca (I think it was Rebecca) for that one. LOL!!

        • Powell says:

          I agree that’s the only reason she wore that ring. They all went to the schmancy bowgate party and she didn’t wear the ring.

  20. Contessa says:

    STARS – another great recap – BRAVO and APPLAUSE!!!! you nail it every time. Just love to read you GF!!!!! XXXOOO

    • Stars99 says:

      Thanks, Contessa… but did you really just use “Bravo’s” name in vain? Andy is so gonna hunt you down… lolol… = )

  21. lillybee says:

    102 here and it is only 11am

  22. Contessa says:

    Mel/Jeff, forgive my manners as I did not have an opportunity to tell you, yesterday, how much I love your recaps of NJ. BRAVO and APPLAUSE, and in the words of Tre, love, love, love, MWAH!!!

  23. kokuanani says:

    Y’know, if Heather wanted to up her Snootiness Quotient by a factor of 10 or more, she’d quit calling champagne “champs” and utilize the actual French pronunciation. [cham-pan-ya].

    “Champs” sounds like some overweight American tourist in plaid Bermuda shorts at the Louvre, “Hey Mabel, let’s get outta this place and go get ourselves some ‘champs’.”

    • kokuanani says:

      And we all know how much Heather LOVES being thought of as the “sophisticated one.” I’m really surprised she hasn’t figured out this move.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      kokuanani: OH MY GOSH, this is so funny. But yet,earnestly helpful (to Heather). Please put this comment in her bravo blog. It’s so good!!

      • kokuanani says:

        You [or anyone else] absolutely have my permission to “steal” my remark & post it over there as your own. I wouldn’t know the first thing about posting there.

    • Powell says:

      Haha. You are funny. 🙂

  24. not THAT Jill says:

    Going to see Monsters University tonight and I think I’m more excited than the kids!!!!

    • mrs peabody says:

      I tried to see it Saturday night with the grandkids and couldn’t get in, I think I was more disappointed than they were.

    • chismosa says:

      That music is the trailers is MY life! All 80’s new wave. Die die die !!!

      Hope you enjoy it!

    • LaineyLainey says:

      I’m actually excited about Despicable Me 2. So much wit. Loved the first one.

      • not THAT Jill says:

        Lainey I think that comes out Friday so we will be seeing that next week-I LOVED the first one so I’m excited to see the second. Monsters Inc is one of my all time favorite so I’m happy to be seeing the new one tonight….plus I love popcorn!!!!

        • LaineyLainey says:

          Well if you love the Monsters, I will, too! I’ll have to see if Netflix is streaming that title. I feel/sound like such a media hipster now that I’m doing my trial month on netflix!

          • LaineyLainey says:

            i mean the first one, Monsters, Inc, is it?

            • not THAT Jill says:

              Yes-Monsters Inc-and you MUST see if Netflix is streaming it b/c it is only the most awesome kid movie ever!!!!

      • kokuanani says:

        BTW, over at Huffington Post there’s a review of The Lone Ranger that says “do not under any circumstances take kids to see this.” It’s apparently quite violent. The review has details.

      • Powell says:

        Those guys make me laugh every time I see them on the trailer they show during commercials. They look like twinkies with hats and goggles on.

    • Powell says:

      Billy Crystal was on The View & John Goodman was on another show I cant remember, but they were both talking about how much fun they had doing it. Billy & John said Billy came up w/the idea for them to tape together since actors aren’t usually taping together when doing animated movies. Billy also had the animators draw something for them to have when they recordrd to help them get more into character. John said Billy would really go beyond the script. They both said they like this movie best.

      • not THAT Jill says:

        The movie was great-the kids loved it and so did I-Billy Crystal and John Goodman made this movie so much fun!!!!

  25. chismosa says:

    Princess Pindy— love your gravatar too funny
    Stars thanks for the blog, it keeps me up to date on OC.

    I have a question about Newlyweds if anyone here followed—- sorry, very OT:

    Didnt Tina say that Us magazine was going to have the big reveal of her baby and baby name last week? Well the issue from this past week (released Wednesday last week) did not have anything. Is she on twitter ? Maybe I can lookup this info and why they never went to press on that. Thanks in advance if anyone answers—-

    Have a good Tuesday everyone !

      • chismosa says:

        Thanks so much Jill- I never do Us online — they seem less accessible. I thought when someone says “us weekly will have this” they mean the print edition! Lol poor Tina.

        I still don’t get her reasoning for not giving her husband’s last name? Plus Tarz isn’t even his real first name. So every child she has hereafter will also have the maternal last name? Odd

        And yeah, no duh the baby has your hair! You’re 15 shades darker than your husband. Lol

        I really like them just didnt understand the last name situation. I know women who’ve given the mother’s maiden name as a middle name, but never as the official last name. Odd

        Also I never knew for an emergency (crash??) c-section that fathers aren’t allowed in. Interesting.

        Thanks Jillzy—–how you doin’????!!! have a great day !

        • not THAT Jill says:

          Chismosa-I love when you ask questions in that rapid fire way!!! I don’t know the answers to any of the Qs!!! I didn’t know the baby didnt have his last name and I didn’t know his name wasn’t Tarz!!! What is his real name????
          I’m doing great-how about you???

          • chismosa says:

            His name is Dave. Lol!!!! I’m serious
            Sorry to ask so many questions… They just never got resolved on the show I will look her up on twitter

            Have a great day …..and thank you!

            • not THAT Jill says:

              I love the questions…I wouldn’t know half the crap I know about some of these bravo people if it weren’t for your questions!!!!

        • Orson says:

          I suspect if a father seems queasy to the medical staff for a standard delivery they’d have a hair trigger on the “get the father the hell out of here” button if things go wahoonie shaped and they need to do a c-section.

          Did I mix metaphors there? Sorry.

    • Stars99 says:

      Chismosa – Well, I’m glad that we can try to keep you current on the happenings of the RHOC… cuz well… they are legends in their own minds… lol… And btw… I thought it was so funny how mad Andy got at Tina and Tarz when they wouldn’t tell him the name of their baby… cracked me up… plus… the baby had arrived like a couple of weeks earlier… so were they purposefully waiting to disclose the info until AFTER their appearance on WWHL… because they knew they would have an opportunity to announce that an article was coming out the following day? I dunno… things that make you go, “Hmmmmm”… lol

      • chismosa says:

        It was great Stars, love when Andy gets annoyed or flustered! Lol

        And yes, the OC are in a class all their own so thanks for the recaps, always truly enjoyable

  26. plainviewsue says:

    Well, it looks like Richie W is on an apology twitter tour. After another night (Sunday) of disgusting tweets to women, he has asked for a truce. Hasn’t exactly apologized, but…………………

    He tweeted to me “I think we should all do Thanksgiving together.”

    I tweeted back, “If the Guidices are invited, I’m in!!”

    • lillybee says:

      Hail to our twitter queen.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      PVsue,…how long will the truce last. Remember do not cast pearls before swine. But I do concur with Lillybee…you are the twitter queen…we are not worthy, we are not worthy…. oops can’t get back up….ok, gonna rolll over to the nearest chair to pull myself up. ooof…that’s better… Hey it’s cute when babies pull themselves up!!! Oh baby, oh baby!

      • plainviewsue says:

        Too funny!!! Richie had just gone too far. I thought the tweets to me were awful, but his latest to other women were just beyond. Even though he deletes them, people screen save them. They have been retweeted to Bravo, Andy and someone actually dedicated a twitter account to them.

        It is a PR move, & I still think is a sexist pig, but I am all for peace. So we will see what happens.

    • Orson says:

      If you sit at the same table as Teresa, you might end up with sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce in your lap.

    • melthehound says:

      Hehe 😆

    • Rebecca says:

      Well, he is a turkey… bring him a spork for me, would you?

  27. not THAT Jill says:

    Does anyone here “coupon”? I have been watching Extreme Couponing and I have so many questions!!!!

    • Catseye says:

      I don’t watch the show, but I have used coupons for many years.

      • not THAT Jill says:

        Where do you get the coupons from? My Sunday paper has one insert and the coupons are for things I never buy!!!

        • Catseye says:

          I usually get my coupons from the Sunday paper also and for whatever reason, I get some in the mail also–mixed in with the “junk mail.” Magazines sometimes have them too, but they are quickly going out of fashion.

          • Catseye says:

            And I don’t know if you shop online much, but I do and I am enrolled in a site called “ebates” and I get a rebate from them every 3months or so.

            • not THAT Jill says:

              Ohhhh I love ebates!!! I shop on line a lot so I usually get a nice check from them-especially after Christmas!! I have to start using coupons!!!!

  28. melthehound says:

    Great recap Stars 😀

    I watched most of it last night, which is rare for me with OC. I have something to say about Lydia and her comments about ‘no man should judge a woman’… She could say the same thing about women judging women too. I DO hope, She is not judging people under that breath of hers. I know people stood up and applauded when she let Slade have it but I wonder if that was in part, because it was Slade. I did too but not for that reason.. For me, it was that finally here is someone that says what she thinks to someone while she is thinking it. Rather than letting it boil for 3 weeks and then coming back with it out of the blue.

    • Stars99 says:

      Thanks, Mel… Yeah, Lydia doesn’t take any crap from anyone… it’s what I like about her. Oh and plus she’s had opportunity to confront Gretchen and Slade… It will be fun to see what happens next because she’s really having a battle of wits against two unarmed dimwits… lol

      • melthehound says:

        You’ve heard the saying, never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you at their own game 😉

  29. AZGirl says:

    Good afternoon everyone!!! Quick post before Mr. AZGirl returns from court..shhhhhh. Thank you Stars for the great recap. I have been busy reading some of the other recaps.

    Gretchen is really desperate and disgusting. Wearing that ring that Jeff gave her on that shopping trip was really crazy. I mean like “mental” crazy. Poor Jeff’s family. She is a total gold digger. I am assuming that Gretchen was just pissed as vinegar that she and Slade did not get the spin off show and from here on out the episodes are going to be about getting back at Tamara and Eddie.
    I really hope Bravo dumps Slade and Gretchen. They are just Z-listed dirt bags.
    Love Lydia. She is sharp.

    • AZGirl says:

      Maybe we can start a “Dump Gretch and Slade campaign.

      • Buttercream says:

        I’m with you! Where to sign up for Twitter?! “Dump Gretchen and Slade”!!

    • Catseye says:

      I agree with you about Gretchen and that ring. I also think IF she ever wore it, it should be worn on her right hand, especially since she’s living with another man. I personally think she would never do anything to help out Slade’s son financially, because it would help out his ex and she’s far too shallow to ever do something like that.

      • Powell says:

        I understand that many of you like the idea of Gretch selling the ring financially help Grayson and if Slade was a reliable man a man of honor that would appreciate her help and would pay her back I would go along w/that too. But they aren’t married yet if they ever will be & I don’t believe Slade would pay her back. Slade is all about being w/an OC HW. He’s not shown any real commitment to Gretch. His 1st obligation should be his kids but Gretch did tell him 2 yrs ago now that she wanted him to take care of his financial obligations before they got married & he hasn’t. He has taken what she said seriously to 1 take care of his son & 2 for them to move forward & get married. I can see them not being together in a few yrs w/or w/o this baby she wants. If they have a baby there will be 3 kids that he will not support. She’s crazy if she pays Slades debt.

        • missusmc says:

          I don’t think of it as helping Slade. I think of it as helping a terminally ill child. If it wasn’t Grayson, I still would think that if she knew ANY child that personally who was in need and whose family was in need, she could put that ring to better use. (And he IS basically her stepson, not just any child. Commonlaw marriage and all that, which I realize isn’t the same as legally being married, but still.) If she can use this sick child to further her own storyline for her job, which she gets compensated for, the least she can do is help him out. It’s not like she needs the ring for anything.

          Unless it’s a fake. That would explain why she hasn’t pawned it. But our little Gretchen wouldn’t be a hypocrite like that after laughing with the other girls about Alexis’ fake ring, would she?!

    • Stars99 says:

      AZ… Thanks… Hope you find a place to stay cool… perhaps you should put on some rainbow shades and stuff… lol

  30. not THAT Jill says:

    Gretchen’s blog is up and I all. Can say is GOOD LUCK WITH RECAPPING THIS ONE….it’s loooooooooooooooooong!!!!!!!!

    • BB says:

      You can’t scare me! About 85 percent of what Gretchen says isn’t even worth repeating.

    • Laineylainey says:

      You know how some well intentioned people think that if they speak really loudly that a non English speaker will suddenly understand the language. Oh, thank you for yelling in my face really slowly, now I understand perfectly! Haha… Well Gretchen thinks that if she writes lots of words, we will fully understand her and AGREE WITH her!! Thus, the superfluous sophomoric writing style.

  31. lulu says:

    Does this strike you as odd. Three marriages all forced. That should be a wake up call to tamra. She’s just not marriage material

  32. lillybee says:

    I just had a thought. I wonder if the 100 bills that Brooke was throwing at the stripper/maybe ho/ porn actress came from Vicki.

  33. AZGirl says:

    Just tried to read some of the blogs on Bravo….dear god…can that site be any slower??????????????????? Memo to Bravo…get your site cleaned up and quit having all the advertisement feeds so we can read the blogs.

    • melthehound says:

      If you are using a PC… Adblocker Plus (or +)… Never look at another ad again. Even the commercials if you watch shows at network sites. Works for YouTube google crap too. 😉

      • chismosa says:

        Mel this works for all pop ups?
        We had mcafee on our computer and we feel it caused more problems so we uninstalled it, though the heading is still at the bottom of the page. So annoying. I hope it’s truly off the computer

        Just was on the phone with Microsoft incidentally, so it’s funny I ask you about this.

        • melthehound says:

          This isn’t a virus protection type thing.. It serves only to block pop up ads like those you might see at Bravo and the other gossip magazine sites, for example. I installed it last summer when Lynn was having so much trouble with ads auto-playing and I never heard another again and her page then loaded lightning fast. I have it installed for both Firefox and the Google Chrome browsers. It can be turned off for various sites if they won’t work because of it or completely turned off. The only place I’ve seen that it does not block ads, is facebook, those ads that say Chismosa (if you were a FB friend) likes Amazon (for instance). Just google adblock+ along with your browser name and go from there. The best part is if you are at a network site, watching say, The Amazing Race, you don’t have to sit through the 15 minutes of their forced commercial breaks. Adblock+ knocks them out.

          I doubt this is anything Microsoft or even Bravo (in this case) is going to help anyone with. Doing so, will take money out of their pocket. I wouldn’t mind the ads if they were truly background but they are not. Along with them come scripts that install cookies on your computer to track browsing habits. You may notice that after you’ve been to Amazon looking for books or something like that, the ads you see, will be about books.

          Hope that helps.

        • melthehound says:

          By the way.. I also have a program installed called No Script. That one requires some customization to allow websites you want to see to be allowed to run. It, blocks Everything. Even Youtube so you have to tell it to let the videos play (again, for example).

    • chismosa says:

      I can NEVER go on that site because it sucks so much. I want to email that to the people at bravo. Hate it!!

  34. lillybee says:

    Right now, it is 115. So hot.

  35. iceNfire says:

    Stars99 – Thanks for blog! Now I’m going nuts over G’s ““manamanous” i heard “manamanous restrictive”.
    And I must point out that The Icky One got her own timeline wrong when she said “…getting off a divorce and then falling in love” She believes her own lies

  36. not THAT Jill says:

    This Under the Dome…WOW….freaky!!!

  37. Catseye says:

    I’m watching a repeat of the 100th Episode RHOC version with the Twitter comments on the bottom of the screen. I noticed that Gretchen made some digs at Tamra, for instance saying stuff like how hard it was to keep friends on the show when “someone tries to get you naked wasted,” and another one after Tamra’s TH about her lying about cheating on her fiancé, that she proved she wasn’t lying “in court.” Looks like the feud is alive and well between those two.

    • melthehound says:

      So much for that BS friendship bracelet lunch..

      • Orson says:

        Anyone want to start a pool on when the Tamra/Alexis cease fire will end? How about the Heather/Alexis one? Or the Heather/Terry one, for that matter.

  38. Amber...RealWife says:

    comment 222 fave number! Great blog Stars… keep up the great work!

    MTH are you watching the BB LiveFeeds? Racism, Misogyny, Homophobia… the works!

    • Powell says:

      Amber I was on Lynn’s page on FB this morn & a lady posted that one of the houseguests that is a model, her agency dropped her because of racial remarks she was making. I haven’t watched BB in yrs but did catch some of the live feed on BB After Dark on TV Guide network. My mom said she read BB is getting rid of those that were making those comments and getting new houseguests. I will have to take a look to see how Julie Chen handles that on the show.

    • melthehound says:

      No, Amber. I don’t get the live feeds.

  39. not THAT Jill says:

    This is just so disrespectful and sad-the Ielpi family has suffered the loss of their son/brother from 9-11 and this stupid reality show had the poor sense to air and shoot this footage. Johnathan Ielpi’s father and brother carried his body from Ground Zero -such a tragic loss from 9-11 and now this stupid girl makes a mockery of his statue-Bravo has crossed a line and they say they will not air this episode again but it’s too late-the damage is done!!

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