Real Housewives of New Jersey
Blogs Blogged by Stars99
Boldly Going Where No Man Dares to Thread – Caroline, Jacqueline, Kathy and Rosie are at a cosmetic place in Soho. It is obvious from the blogs that Jac setup the whole thing since she plugged the store in her blog – And she dedicates her first 2 paragraphs to it without talking about anything about the show. Kathy says, “When we went to the benefit store in NYC, all of those childhood beauty parlor memories came flooding back when we walked in with everything pink and products all wrapped up in pretty packaging.” Perhaps this is where Kathy got the ideas for the pretty, pretty packaging of her cannoli kits… I just hope she always remembers to, “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” (Sorry, obscure “The Godfather” reference… Well, maybe not that obscure.) Jac said that this was her very first eyebrow threading and that she “loved it.” If only it was just that easy to get rid of all unwanted, wily, and straggly New Jersey housewives and husbands by just tying a single thread around the bunch of them and pulling hard. I’d like to try it… Wouldn’t you?
Adorable Nicholas – As promised, I’m not going to say much about Nicholas – but I did want to include Jac’s clarification of what she means when she says, “recover” as it refers to her son and Autism. Jac says, “When I say “recover,” I mean that I want him to recover all the skills he lost before he regressed, and I want to give him the tools he needs to make life easier for him in the future. By pushing him to learn new things, we reduce his frustrations.” She further states, “We will never give up on Nicholas because we believe his signs and symptoms can improve with the right interventions. Our goal is to find the right interventions that will work for our child and remember not to get discouraged if something that worked for another child doesn’t work for ours. We just have to keep searching.”
Bitchy Richie – I’m telling ya… Richie had better thank his lucky stars that this particular Stars is NOT his wife because if I hadn’t killed him already, I would have killed him during this particular episode. Seriously. His whole Neanderthalic attitude wherein he states, “I married a wife, not an entrepreneur” would be enough evidence for justifiable homicide as far as I’m concerned. Perhaps you’ll disagree with me – but I totally believe one of my jobs is to encourage my spouse to reach the highest heights he wants to attain. I don’t like Bitchy Richie’s attitude… I don’t like his delivery… I don’t think he’s funny. Period.
Kathy blogs, “We made an agreement since he was working from home more that he would allow me to have all creative direction and he would take care of the business and financial decisions.” Kathy does realize that she needs Rich’s input in new this endeavor since she has never launched a business and he has more experience in that area. However, if my hubster had gone out without telling me and had purchased hundreds of boxes after knowing how important that decision was to me – I would have KILLED him. He may be a voice of reason to remind her of how roughly boxes can be handled while in transit… but Kathy knows how important packaging is to her targeted consumer. Can you guys say, “Communication and compromise?” Yes, yes, I knew you could. His flippant little comments continue to dance on my very last nerve.
Kathy delusionally says, “But I am lucky — he is so supportive that whenever I have an idea, he acts on it. As a matter of fact, he was constantly pushing me.” Sure, if your definition of “support” is “Pushing forward with your own agenda regarding MY business project even when you know it’s going to piss me off.” Yet, while it kills me to say it, but I think renting the commercial kitchen was kind of supportive of “Bitchy Richie.” I suppose she can use it as a “test” kitchen but I wonder just how much time she will actually spend there. Perhaps I’m just being cynical, maybe I’m not taking this whole venture very seriously, or it could be that maybe I just could not care less. I’ll let you decide.
In a vain effort to defend Richie’s bitchiness, Kathy says, “So when Richie and I decided to go forward with my hobby and turn it into a business, we had to go through, as many do, business adjustments. I would have never went forward with this venture unless Rich was 100% on board.” Right… It has always sounded to me like Richie was 100% on board with Kathy’s ideas… After all, we’ve never seen Richie embarrass Kathy during business meetings nor have we seen him make fun of her at all… NoooOOOOOooooOOOOoo. Sheesh. Caroline says, “Richie and Kathy are a great couple. He loves her to death and I think his bark is worse than his bite. Actually, I don’t even think he has a bite, he’s all talk!” I still think he’s a Neanderthal. Wait, did I just say that recently? Well, it can’t be said too often, IPPHO.
Kathy says, “When I started on this show, I had no idea what would happen over time. I never dreamed that my love and passion for cooking and being a housewife would lead to anything like me starting a dessert business. I’m sure that many of the other ladies in the Housewives franchise feel the same way — all I can say is I feel blessed and grateful, and what’s really amazing is the fan support.” Just shakes my head and sighs…
Should “Retreat” be Used as a Noun or a Verb? – Bravo’s telegraphing of upcoming storylines hit an all-time high when of all people Teresa alluded both to Caroline on the phone and to Rosie when she met her for their “Friendship Summit” at the bar that they all needed to go on a holistic therapy meditation retreat at some point. Caroline blogs, “Rosie is all heart, and her frustration and hurt came through loud and clear as she spoke to her cousins. I think she managed to break the wall down a bit, good for her. Apparently there is talk of a retreat in the air, hold on folks, hold on!!!” I personally think we all should use “retreat” as a verb…and get the heck out of here! Lolol!
Melissa says, “Rosie and Joe’s conversation was an eye-opener. No sex for six years, Rosie? We’re going to have to fix you up! Obviously, these two cousins have a lot in common. They’re passionate, love to laugh, have strong opinions and are not susceptible to brain washing. Rosie and Teresa’s conversation was very . . . loud. I do agree with something Rosie said — we should be lifting each other up, not bringing each other down. Clearly, we’ve got a lot of work to do.” Duh…Clearly!
Hoboken = Hoes, Beaus, and Just Kens – In this episode, we found out that Albie doesn’t know what kind of girl he wants – I suggest a “hoe”; Lauren has a “beau” but doesn’t necessarily want to get married and have kids right now; and, Christopher doesn’t want to have any daughters, just sons because he doesn’t want to worry about them becoming “whores.” Melissa says of Christopher, “He cracks me up. He doesn’t want any kids? Famous last words! I bet he’ll wind up with five of them.” Surprisingly, Caroline’s blog is mostly silent on these subjects. Go figure. The only thing she says is, “Lauren is still with Vito and both my boys are always keeping me guessing regarding their dating life. I think I like it better this way, saves me a lot of stress!” Yeah, I’d hafta be awfully serious about a boyfriend before I’d want them to meet Caroline. Caroline blogs, “Al is slowly but surely finding his comfort zone in Hoboken. He’s grown to love the apartment, but isn’t 100% sure that he’s ready to make the move. Neither am I, so for now, we’re just floating back and forth and one of these days we’ll make a decision.” Well, duh – You have no choice but to get an apartment since you’re being run out of your house by farm animals, E-I-E-I-O!
Just a Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down – As you may remember, in Melissa’s blog last week, she said, “During their conversation at the gym, Joe stayed calm and just threw a little shade back at Teresa. And she freaked out, threw water, flipped a trash can and stormed out. He gave her a taste of her own medicine, and she did not like it.” So, of course this week, Teresa responds tit for tat with, “Happy 4th of July week! Happy summer! I’m not gonna lie, I’m so happy right now. Things are so so good. (Maybe it’s because I finally got a taste of my own medicine. Had no idea I needed that so badly. Yum!)” Seriously, that Mary Poppins really knows her stuff!
Teresa continues, “Seriously though, we are all in a good place now, and you’ll soon see how we got there. I’m sure we’ll still use our blogs to explain things on each episode and defend ourselves, but that was months ago and this is now. And right now, we’re all pretty happy. At least I am.” I’m sure you “got there” because of some danged retreat that you mentioned twice in this episode. Gag. Perhaps this is your way of making sure that you get the credit now for being the one who initiated it even though it’s still some time off in the future… When was the last time you initiated a “Friendship Summit” with one of your castmates… Or when have you taken responsibility for anything you’ve said or done thus far? (Crickets chirping…)…
The rest of Teresa’s blog is filled with her talking about things that are hot, why she loves the summer, humble brags, gratuitous fan appreciation (Kathy went overboard on that this week, too) and a couple of recipes… That’s it! I couldn’t believe it, either!
Just When You Thought it was Safe to Stop Laughing – I’ve barely stopped laughing from the concept that Melissa is writing a marriage advice book called, “Love, Italian Style” when I burst into a whole new round of laughter because her new single is called, “Never Let Me Go.” I mean, does she understand that many of us call her “MeGo?” Or better yet… That we actually wish that she WOULD go? But I digress… Mel tries to explain to us why she talked about her dad’s cheating on camera, “If at any point my mother said, “I forbid you to talk about it on camera or write about it,” you would not be seeing or reading a word on the subject. It would not have come up.” The thing is Mel… You pretended to act like you were in a quandary of whether or not to mention it in the book – like it was a decision in which you were actively wrestling. The on camera back and forth between you and Joe about including information on your cheating dad was just another example of why we just can’t take you seriously. You treat us like we’re idiots. We see right through you… We are not your husband.
Saint Melissa tries to tell us that she’s never done anything to cause Teresa tension in her marriage. Mel says, “Re: mind f—ing, I don’t take that back. I do think Teresa was up to something. She said things to Joe about me behind my back. Last year, it was that I would leave him for a richer man. This year, it’s that he’s pussy whipped. Anyone would look at this situation and think, “She’s trying to break them up.” Why does she do it? Joe and I have three kids. We have a life together. Why would his sister intentionally cause tension between us? I certainly haven’t tried to cause tension in her marriage. She said I controlled my husband. Why is she worried about that at all? I just don’t get it, and I’m fed up with the negativity.” So are we, Melissa – So sit yourself down and “zip it.” It’s just so much fun to quote Milania – Mostly because she’s not my kid and I don’t have to take responsibility for teaching her what is appropriate and inappropriate to say to her mom. She is entertaining, though… I mean, if these were lines that were being written for her in a sitcom I would be totally laughing… However, realizing that this is actually how she talks to her mom and that her mom doesn’t do anything about it… I dunno, it really scares me. Seriously, would any of us have lived to see another day if we said that to our mom? I didn’t think so… lol!
Mel also talks on and on about whether or not Joe is a “whipped” husband. She uses the situation when Joe called Mel out on what she tweeted back to Teresa as an example of why he’s not a “whipped” husband. I personally would not be surprised if he enjoys a little S & M, but I’m not going to go there. Nope, nope, nope!
And on that pleasant note… We bid these marvelous models of decorum and class adieu! To you, and you and you! See, I left you singing again… You’re welcome! = )
Happy Birthday Chismosa and Iowagirl