Real Housewives of New Jersey – S5E6 – Drinking With The Enemy

RHONJ – Drinking With The Enemy
By MelTheHound

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-5-cast-and-info-rev_0

Yes folks, we’re back.. Another week of Crapfest 2013. The women have all made their excuses for their then behavior in the last episode and I had to get my shovel out to to clear a path through it, even though, Stars99 did a fine job of helping us navigate their weekly excuses. For those of you who enjoy UClosetfreak and her video recaps, here is last week’s. The crux of last week’s show was these summits between Teresa and Rosie, to try and hash things out between them. There was some other pointless stuff that happened but this set the scene for upcoming episodes. This ‘retreat’ that Teresa is ‘planning’ so they can work out their differences. T wanted this to be her brother and her so they could just say what they had on their minds in a controlled environment and let the chips fall where they may. Rosie had the brilliant idea of inviting Everybody, including the fruitloop and Momz. That ought to go well. Let’s see.

This week, we start off at Kathy’s ‘test kitchen’… She tells us that she wasn’t real happy with this place at first because she wasn’t given a choice in the matter. However, when she and Rich have it out about the business or something like that, she has a place to escape to. For some odd reason, we see Momz and the f-nut walking up to the building outside, at night. They have to call Kathy so she can let them in the kitchen. Momz likes the place but it’s off the beaten path so it’s ‘scary’… What’s the matter Momz- Not a rich enough neighborhood for you? Too many scary poor people hanging around? Kathy’s biggest problem with the kitchen, she says, is learning how to use all the new gadgets. You know, like the oven, the mixers, stuff like that that a baker might use. Maybe I’m being too hard on her, I don’t know. She probably knows her own appliances and these are just different than what she has. In walks Rosie… She tells the gang about her meeting with Teresa… How they were getting in each other’s faces and she was pounding on the table and hurt her hand as a result. She tells the NJ crew about this retreat weekend that Teresa is suggesting and says they should all go along. Momz says she’s done her damage so she doesn’t want to go and the f-nut said something.. I think she said she doesn’t want to go either. In my opinion, it should be just the family and the truly affected parties but, what do I know? Enough of theseJoeGui 1 Potato 2 Potato people.

The next segments are back and fourth between Teresa’s house and the golf course driving range with Joey and Richie… (Why do I think of Richie Cunningham whenever I type that guy’s name?) At Teresa’s they are getting ready for a sausage making party with the grandparents. Papa Gorga is out of the hospital now. First though, we get to see Gia complain about wearing the apron that advertises her mother’s new book. Gia goes to take off the apron and Joe asks wFabulous Milaniahat her problem is. Everyone else is wearing the aprons. Teresa says ‘she’s 12 and going through puberty’… Probably the most factual statement we’ll hear on this episode. Milania asks, ‘does that mean she’s going to have a baby?’…. Joe tells her to ‘zip it’. Teresa tells Joe about this retreat weekend and when he asks what it’s all about, she says it’s about trust and to demonstrate, she wants him to fall back so she can catch him. He isn’t going to (and doesn’t) do it because Sausage Makinghe doesn’t believe she can catch him. There is a knock at the door.. It is mom and dad, Gorga, and Joe’s mom as well (Is his father still alive?). They are there to make 80 pounds of sausage… In the nutshell and so we can move on, Teresa I guess tells her dad that she wants to make things right with Joey. It’s disrespectful to him, everything that goes on and also disrespectful to yell at Papa Gorga.. Somewhere in here we are treated to scenes from the christening after the steroid boy called his sister garbage and then cry yelling at his father. In that particular scen800 lbs of Sausagee, Papa Gorga told his son to go cry to his mother. There are scenes shown of them making the sausage… Vilzvet mentioned on the chat blog about all the long hair on the women while working with the raw meat. Hair nets ladies… No one wants ‘extra’ with their sausage. We will leave them there for now..

Meanwhile, at the driving range, Joey is going to teach Richie how to play golf. Richie takes a few practice swings (with no tee) and manages to get the ball to roll. Joey tells him to pretend the ball is someone he hates and use that to drive the ball. He takes a few swings, the ball is of course, his sister… Joey’s phone rings, it’s Teresa.. She tells him about this retreat, he says he’ll think about it, he has to ask his other half, Golfing - Richand to send him the details. He also told her she owes him for the dry cleaning… Teresa says, ‘relax, it was water’ (it was also a sweatshirt, asshole.. Dry cleaning… Really?). He tells Richie about what he just discussed with his sister and he asks, what’s next? Going to Nepal and talking to some Buddhists (or something like that)… Eyes are rolling here…. So far, there is absolutely no point for this Wakelie to be on the show. Haven’t seen a worthwhile moment yet from him. Rich comes up with yet another pearl of his (non)wisdom, Teresa has a lot of catching to do. During the scene we see a couple steroid boy THs… Seems that when he fights with his sister, he goes to have sex with his wife (so that’s why he does it, so she will give him some…. Hmmmm).. I will let you people swish the idea, that he thinks of his sister while having sex with his wife, around in your brains. Barring that, he says, if you have a lot of balls, he says, go to the driving range to whack some balls around. Good to know. He also says that, if his sister thought holding hands and jumping off a bridge would help them, he would do it. Also good to know. I have a question. How come we NEVER see the elder Gorga’s at steroid boy and autotune’s house? I mean if he’s so good to his father, paying his rent and all that (bullshit) stuff, Why do we never see them together? Here is what I think. We don’t see them together because they are never together. I think they really hate that bitch wife of his. Remember last week, they look at her like she’s the devil?

Okay… I have already recapped the best part of the show.. The sausage making scene with the elders. The rest of this is likely out of order and won’t be scene by scene.. I can’t watch it again to get it exactly right. These people raise my blood pressure to likely dangerous levels and I really don’t know why. I mean to the point where my face begins to go numb. This is dangerous for me and I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I never thought I could actually hate someone I don’t know but with this crowd, that’s become increasingly so. Maybe it’s just this episode. We’ll see.

Let’s start with that moron, Jacqueline. I do not care about this woman or her situation with her son, her family, or with Teresa. For some unexplained reason though, she’s still on the show, interacting with Teresa’s family (even though she tries to pass off the bullshit lie she wants nothing to do with Teresa). She was in some shop with Kathy looking at Kathy Phone Callclothes to cover her bleached asshole when Teresa calls Kathy (or the other way around, don’t know or care which). While T and K are talking about this retreat, stripper-gate comes up (who cares about this anymore?).. Demon possessed Fnut snatches the phone out of Kathy’s hand and starts going off on Teresa. First of all, bitch, if that had been MY phone, Jacqueline, I would have snatched that weave off of your head, blackened both of your eyes, and you would be on the ground picking up all your teeth. Or at least in my mind I would have (not really but you get the point of how rude I think that is).. Kathy can’t believe what she’s hearing and neither can anyone else in the store. Teresa’s the crazy one.. Yeah, okay, got it now…. πŸ™„ Enough of the jacalope for now.

In several other scenes, I’m just going to mash this all together, we meet and see again, Jan (MeGo’s friend who stood up in her wedding, we heard that multiple times), Kim D, Someone named Maria (another of MeGo’s pals), and the real estate agent, Jenn, who is Teresa’s friend. I think we also saw Penny, another of T’s friends.

First, I think, Mego tells her pals at a lunch that she’s writing a book. We are shown a tweet or a text from Teresa congratulating her about this book deal. The Martyr even has to throw shade at that (really, Bitch?). The subject of her book is how to have a hot marriage. You know, how to keep your man at home… They both Melissa and Mimosalook at her like she’s grown two new heads and wonder which one she is thinking with. These two know something… Apparently there is some rumor that MeGo has or is cheating on Joey with some old flame. We later see Jenn, Jan (MeGo’s friend) and a couple others at a lunch with Kim D (who won the biggest shit stirrer poll on WWHL) and Teresa. Kim starts the stirring by asking Jan to spill what she’s heard or knows about MeGo… She does. Apparently at one time, or now, I can’t figure out which, don’t really care, MeGo was still in contact and providing him oral sex. Teresa doesn’t want to hear this stuff and even says so. In TH she says (later) this is an old rumor and she spoke to MeGo a long time ago about it, who denies is, and T said she believed her. Remember that part of it.

Side note… I don’t know who this woman is but apparently, she is calling the production company, and Bravo out on their editing tricks… VV posted a tweet for us last night about this ‘meeting’… It says:

@HeatherMaclean: I’m so disgusted by Sirens’ editing. I cannot believe they spliced it together to look like Teresa sat there. She got up & walked away.

Tre at dinner w Kim DOn another day, Jenn meets with MeGo and tells her what was said at this lunch/dinner/whatever. Of course in autotune’s mush filled head, this is Teresa’s fault that HER friend, spilled the beans about her. What Jenn’s participation in all this boils down to, is that she wants the listing for the Gorga home (I don’t think they are ever going to get their asking price for that dump no matter who lists it). Then, at some point, Teresa and Jenn are having lunch or drinks. Don’t know which, nor do I care. Jenn tells Teresa that she met with MeGo and told her what was said at the other lunch (I believe this was actually the last scene of the show). Teresa is seeing the shit stirrer in Jenn and just wishes this would all stop. That’s what I got from that scene. Jenn says that since she wants this ‘franklin lakes listing’ she wants no Tre heard about a cheating rumorsecrets or she doesn’t want to be seen as playing the two against each other. Well, Jenn, since you aren’t completely factual in what you are telling these two women happened, you ARE playing them against each other. Just sayin. This woman is competing with KimD to be the biggest NJ shit stirrer there. I thought KimG was bad. That heifer has nothing on these people. We’ll come back to this in a minute (oh, no, it isn’t over yet, never will be).

Somewhere in this craptacular crapfest, MeGo is sponsering a strip tease class with Kathy and their husbands. A few things.. First.. Richie, Put your collar down. That look hasn’t been cool since 1988 when it was cool for 29 seconds. On the 30th second, it wasn’t cool anymore. You look like a complete moron that can’t dress himself. Second, Joey reminds us that his wife was not the stripper, He was. Joey, you are a foot too short to have ever been a Chipendale. I believe you when you say you were a stripper but not the type in a big production review show like the Chipendales (as he suggested at the reunion). Instead, like those pigs on the OC show when they were in Mexico. Third, Kathy doesn’t think her man stripping is sexy… Taking out the trash and stuff like that is what turns her on. Someone said to me, last night, that The pathetic, Richie was moving like a disabled toad while he was trying to be ‘sexy’…Β Do we need more of this scene? We get some but I won’t bother with it.

No retreat for Wacky JackyIn yet another scene, there is some luncheon at the Gorga home. Why? So they can talk about Teresa, of course. Even the jacalope and the Manzos are invited. Honestly, the only good thing to come from this scene (that MeGo told everyone what happened at these previous luncheons) was Rosie calling the Adirondacks, the Adirondykes when sheCaroline and Melissa at brunch was describing where this castle retreat was going to take place. I think Rosie may be hoping to break that 6 year dry spell on this ‘retreat’. The rest, was about how awful Teresa is to begin with, including some input from the f-nut fruitloop.

For some reason, we have to watch Momz and Big Al on their annual date night. I say it that way because she says the secret to a happy marriage is to never see each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or some other Momz nonsense like that. I didn’t quite catch it but someone said in the chat last night that when she said she didn’t eat fish, she told him and us, that she knows he cheats. The discussion of his next beloved comes up, you know, if she dies or something like that, she guesses the woman will be about 22. He says not 22 (What’s the matter, Al, Too old for you?). I probably missed a whole lot during this scene. One thing I did catch was this. He asked where they were spending the night… She said Hoboken in their little get away… He said, a get away is not a place 10 blocks from your kids with a room for Lauren… SNAP! He obviously wants to push them out of the nest while she just wants to Move the nest (I read a terrible rumor either here or on the FB group… Manzoids are getting their own show, with Greggy? or he made the announcement on twitter or something like that. REALLY? Is Bravo that desperate to keep these assholes on the air? I know some of you like them but I don’t think there is anythingΒ likableΒ or entertaining about any of them. They are ALL losers. I also read something earlier that one of these asshats plans a political office run and that’s the real reason, they are all in Hoboken. Maybe Albie?.. Hell, he can’t do anything else, why not just become another phuck up politician? He ought to fit right in with that crowd. I feel sorry for that city).

In one of the last scenes of the show, the Gorgas, the Lurkitas, and Wakelies were in some Kathy and Rich re rumorvilleclub having drinks. In walks KimD with one of her pals. They summon her to their table to confront her about her participation in all this drama. Remember that Steroid boy thinks that KimD is Teresa’s puppet. While T may not actually Say anything he and his wife believe that Teresa puts Kim up to it. Well, MeGo, Who put your BFFL, Jan, up to what She said? Hmmmmmmmmmmm? Richie invites KimD to sit next to him because he likes her. I can’t decide which of these two is the bigger pig. Anyway, MeGo confronts Kim about everything that is going on and all the gossip. Tells KimD to butt out and keep quiet about that which is not hers (I Slime that is Kim Dactually agree with this sentiment and would tell, Jan, Jenn, and whatever other J, the same thing). Then we get to see what has to be one of the most gag worthy scenes in the show. The Gorgas and their make out session… Get a damn room. No one wants to see that. Of course, it was to convince Kim that the two of them are happily married. Also, while the Prince of Lurkita (who I think is another major asshole) is looking on, as are the rest, Jacalope goes into another one of her Teresa rants. Two things here. First, I am betting that Chris regrets the day he met this nut. Second, and with this, I swear before God… Everytime Teresa farts, Jacqueline’s hair blows back. I just hope for Jac’s sake, Teresa bleaches too. I have a whole lot of nasty things to say about that spit swapping scene of the Gorgas… They involve what Steroid boy must have been tasting if these rumors about MeGo are true (I don’t really believe they are. I think she is a lot of things but cheater isn’t one of them)… Too far?

I am going to cut this short now. Best scene of the night, Milania (again). Worse scene, the puke worthy spit swap scene. Biggest shit stirrer? Toss up between KimD, Jan, and Jenn. Everyone, is looking at Jacqueline like she’s lost her damn mind. I think she’s a teenage Β lush but what do I know? Next week kids, we are off to the Adirondykes for this retreat. Steroid boy calls his sister scum, she leaves, tells Joe, and Joe Finally stands up for his wife. I Can.Not.Wait to see that. I HOPE, this isn’t some Bravo piece together tease.

Photos provided once again, by Stars99… She seems to have a special talent for knowing which parts of the show I will talk about. I don’t have them in the recap quite in order but they are close enough for canal work. Thank you again, Stars99.

See you next week. Til then, Peace. MTH.

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About MelTheHound

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272 Responses to Real Housewives of New Jersey – S5E6 – Drinking With The Enemy

  1. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. I’m sad.the holiday has ended. I bet you are too. πŸ™‚ Bit we have crapfest 2013 to look forward to. It’s going to be humid today. Stay cool and have a great day.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Not sad over here. I really like my office mate. We just caught up on the long weekend. She was actually laughing so hard she could hardly talk telling me about “The Heat.” She says it’s super fun and said I should take heed, that bladder control could be a problem.

      Office Mate: Sounds like a coffee creamer or office supply, “office mate”… so I’m happy today, But I do have a cuticle that’s trying to ruin my day. The cuticle that never dies. I get manicures 2x a month, but it always comes back harder and angrier. CUTICLE, THE MOVIE. I know, I know…I’m such a drama queen.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        I’m sad the weekend is over-but it sure was a long one!!! The heat has been a nightmare!! I had a party or went to a party everyday since Thursday!! Fun and exhausting!! Now I need to get ready for VACATION!!!! The packing is my worst chore-too many clothes between me and my girls-I always over-pack and say I’m not doing it again…I’m going to try very hard this year to pack lighter.maggie wants to bring every “cute” outfit she has and every pair of shoes she owns!! She is a real fashionista-even on vacation!!!
        Lainey-don’t pick at that cuticle!!!!!

        • LaineyLainey says:

          If I partied as much as you and had s0 some much fun family time, I guess I’d be sad the weekend is over too. I have a little bit of ADD, I think, because I find the structure of work somewhat comforting. I have a melancholy undercurrent and if I’m home alone I CAN get a little eensy weensy blue. Nothing my trusty timer can’t fix but I have to make an effort to not go semi-catatonic. LOL!!! I could prob benefit from an adderall type pill; but my pharmacist sister tells me to use my coping skills because Adderall can change your biology if utilized for long periods of time and usually not for the better. Plus my ADD is pretty mild, I think.

          Packing…oh my word, that is so cute about Maggie. I can just see her throwing in her accessories and shoes for each outfit and whatnot. So, so cute. so “girly”!!

          I’ve oiled “cuticle”. So she’s not as obnoxious now. I have to make it to Thursday without pulling at it and exposing finger guts. LOL!!

          • Powell says:

            JNNTJ tell your fashionista if she takes every cute outfit nothing will be left at home.
            Lainey you and JNNTJ are funny talking about your “cuticle”. I think we all have that. I’m the same as you picking at it. I have to p myself before I see finger guts. πŸ™‚

  2. Rebecca says:

    Wow. Did you have to watch that more than once? UGH!

  3. AZGirl says:

    Morning Powell and everyone! THANK YOU MTH/JEFF FOR THE RECAP. Happy Monday. I was all set to watch the 7 p.m. showing of NJ and I started watching AGT. OMG! this is going to be a great season. Love the chemistry between all the judges. Love Heidi and MelB. They are a great addition to Howie Mandel and Howard Stern. Some of the contestants are amazing.

  4. Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

    Seriously-the Adirondykes? And no one even corrected her…maybe they don’t know how to say it correctly either!!! ps for the record I HATE HATE HATE the word dyke-I think it is just a mean and nasty word to call a gay woman..just wanted to get that out!!!
    Caroline and Teresa have both posted their blogs…Jeff’s blog is way better than either of theirs!!!

    • melthehound says:

      Part of me thinks Rosie was joking. She grew up in the area and there is no way she doesn’t know the proper name of the mountain range. She may be a loud lush sometimes but I don’t think she’s stupid. I just went with the joke.

      • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

        You are much nicer than I-I think they are all stupid!!!

        • melthehound says:

          No I’m not because I agree πŸ˜€ I know that the D word is right up there on people’s disgust list with the F word when it comes to gay slurs.

          • Kat From Ohio says:

            i think it’s acceptable that she used it because she identifies as a lesbian and it seemed in good humor. the word has been reclaimed by many who were once insulted by the word in the past, similar to how some feminists reclaimed “slut” and “bitch,” and how certain african americans have chosen to reclaim the n-word. in short, rosie is one of the few who can use it and her use of it seemed to be harmless and rather self deprecating.

    • Orson says:

      I have a friend who is a lesbian and she describes herself as a dyke. I figure if it’s okay for her to call herself that, it’s okay for her to call herself that. The weird thing was when her best friend’s then 7 year old daughter thought she was a guy and wanted her to prove she was a girl. I told her to check the Official Rule Book on that one, but I, for one, am not going to expose myself to a 7 year old girl.

      • Powell says:

        Ouch. She just should have said “I’ll have to show you my birth certificate One day”. IDK. That’s all I’ve got.

    • Powell says:

      That’s probably why she hasn’t had any in 6yrs. I don’t like that word either.

  5. plainviewsue says:

    OMG, Jeff, you had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes!!!

    You can never stop the recaps; I am begging you!!

    Kim D has a blog on her web site, and she also said that when Melissa’s friend Jan started talking about Melissa cheating that Teresa got up and left the table. Why can’t the Bravo cameras show us that??

    Did Richie say something about how he fantasizes about Melissa stripping? I kind of blocked out of that whole stripping scene, but that caught my attention. I totally believe that he was a disgusting perv to Teresa & he says this about Melissa in front of his wife? Yeah, Juicy is disgusting.

    Jacqueline is such a mess. Caroline is the only one who has a blog up & all she said was Jacq has been quiet, but wasn’t in this episode. That’s it Caroline? Instead of worrying about the Guidice/Gorga family, get your SIL in therapy. She is friggin out of her mind.

    I agree this retreat should not include Manzos/Laurita. It should only be blood family.

    I cannot imagine how Teresa felt watching this & hearing her POS sister in law call her a pathological liar since Teresa tweeted her congrats on her book. She can’t win for losing. I remember when Teresa tweeted that, and I was annoyed that she did. Melissa has never tweeted or congratulated Teresa on anything. But, oh yeah, Teresa only puts out best selling cookbooks. Does Melissa seriously think that anyone is going to read her book? I mean, seriously????

    As for the coming attractions, I cannot wait for Juicy to lay Napolean out. Joey Marco says he wants to come together for the parents, and then calls his sister scum. SCUM????

    Oh, one more thing. Someone tweeted Joey Marco when his book is coming out, and he said that will be next. Dear lord. Get the knife.

    • melthehound says:

      Yes, PVS, I do believe that Richie said he has teen boy dreams (about 13 IIRC) about MeGo’s behind.

      Don’t worry, I’ll continue to do something… I may start leaving characters out of it though. By the end, we may be down to just Milania πŸ˜‰

    • Rebecca says:

      Why didn’t “Teresa’s friend” Jennifer Dalton say that when explaining the story to Mel? “Teresa was there but she got up and left when Jan said that,” would have spoken volumes. But the sycophant wanted a damn listing at the expense of her “friend” so I Hope she’s proud that she showed her true colors to any other potential clients.

  6. Rebecca says:

    There are recent pictures of Joe Guidice’s pops out there. We got a Pete cameo this episode too.
    Bravo is really missing out by NOT having Tre & Joe’s family making sauce, making sausages, making homemades, etc. This would kill the ridiculous Manzo boys show.

    BTW – How come Tre’s twitter feeds are full of photos from events with all kinds of real life friends off the show, but all these other harpies do is hang out with each other and trash her? You never see anything about their “real life” friends. I wonder whose lives are really miserable, Wacky Jacky.

  7. BB says:

    Funny recap MTH. Especially the Jacqueline’s hair blows back line. Who needs to watch the show when we can come here and get the real story every Monday morning?

  8. BB says:

    I watched BB last night instead of NJ. CBS aired a few of the derogatory remarks made by Arynn (sp?) and Gina Marie. They (and a few others) have no clue what’s coming when they leave the house.

    • melthehound says:

      Aarian has a real rude awakening coming when she gets booted from the house. Broke And unemployed πŸ˜†

  9. T-Rex says:

    Okay gang, been gone on a long needed holiday vacation but back and with SCOOP!!! Turns out my lovely sister-in-law knows someone that was in the running to be on a HW show, but turned it down last minute when her husband filed for divorce two days before she signed the papers(ha a divorce before even filming, a HW record). So, here is something I learned she was going to receive $40K for signing the document, and she was given a “list” of things she might want to get “done” with that initial stipend. The list included, names on where to get Botox, implants, skin renewals, dental work, hair extensions etc. they highly encouraged getting a “tune-up” on the chassis if you catch the heavy drift. This was like a signing “bonus”. By the way this woman was a former model and gorgeous already. Not saying they said she HAD to get them done, but encouraged it. They also suggested using some of the money to keep a stylist on hand throughout filming so that all hair and makeup could be done on the day of filming, and not at a salon, they are required to be coiffed before cameras rolled that day. She was to be given a weekly filming schedule and also a schedule of ALL planned trips prior to filming to make sure to adjust her schedules to accommodate all trips and outings as required. She said EVERYTHING was very well planned out, there wasn’t any “surprise” outings.

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you for confirming what most already know.. Reality….. Bull.

      • Amalfi says:

        Exactly. The only thing real might be underlying circumstances and personal issues and that the dialogue is improv. And I am sure though the meetings are planned, not everyone knows the context of the meetings….

        Stage directions probably go like “See Teresa you get to be the one who brings the family together” coupled with also “Hey Joey, this is a good time to stage an intervention with everyone else who hates your sister and tell her again why she is the one to blame” lead to ratings and boneheads watching with bated breath. (Just to clarify, I am calling myself a bonehead, not any of you…:)

      • T-Rex says:

        In addition has anyone noticed in filming that there isn’t anyone in the backgrounds making funny faces, photo-bombing(or film-bombing), there isn’t traffic running to and fro, etc. Why because they SETUP EVERY SHOT. This “almostHW” had to go for an audition of sorts to make sure she was camera friendly. Streets and sidewalks are blocked off, bystanders are told to stay out of camera shot unless needed or are asked to cross this way or that way, to make filming look real. They tested the lighting, the sound, the mics, etc before any real filming was done. They try to get the best side of the women, make sure they are looking directly at the cameras, that they know which camera is “hot”(meaning on) so they look at the correct one, etc. I think after hearing all this I am probably DONE with the HW. I only watch NY and BHills anyway. She didn’t say for 100% she was sure on this one, but said that she was told by one of the producers that New Jersey and Miami were completely fake storylines.

        • Kansas Girl says:

          Thanks, T-Rex. It’s not that we don’t know all that, or most all that, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. Thanks for telling us, and please include any further tidbits you find out!

    • plainviewsue says:

      How interesting. Thanks for sharing!!!

    • Jill...no not THAT Jill says:

      T-Rex-very interesting and yet not surprising!!! Thanks for sharing your scoop!!!!

    • VV says:

      If nobody has figured out by now THAT this people have look great for he cameras at all times they are filming. Then you haven’t watch enough reality TV or are just plain naive.

  10. Amalfi says:

    Lol… Jeff. “F-nut” is another great descriptor for that crazy psycho. I vacillate from feeling disgusted by her to feeling sad watching a woman go over the edge like that so publicly… but if her own family doesn’t care about that…well, I guess I will stick with disgust at f-nut’s behavior.

    • melthehound says:

      πŸ˜€ ..

      • Birdwoman says:

        I have a feeling, watching her tweeting the last few years, that this is kind of how she is. Jacalope does need some therapy!

        • melthehound says:

          Yes, I have never thought she was some clean miss innocent. Her biggest dramatic move, skipping the S3 reunion because she was so appalled (at the mess she helped create) was a complete crock. Since that point, nothing she has had to say has had any weight and only pushes her further down her wine filled rabbit hole.

  11. HuskerHuny says:

    Your recap, as always, is so much better than the actual show. I watch this mess and I really don’t know why. I’m not getting anything positive out of it. Thanks for putting it in words MTH. Although we do disagree on a few miniscule details concerning RHNJ, I appreciate your POV and keeping everything in perspective. Thanks!

    • melthehound says:

      Give your own perspective HH.. We might actually agree. I only talk about what is right in front of me as I see it happen. Many of you pick up on those subtle details that I typically miss.

  12. HuskerHuny says:

    Can anyone please explain what’s going on on Big Brother so far? I’m a bit out of the loop.

    1) I can’t tell who is working together alliance-wise. Who is the Moving Company? Wasn’t there a girl alliance formed on the first night? I assume some are playing more than one alliance.

    2) The MVP is voted on my the fans. Even if you get MVP, you can be put up for eviction?

    3) Is the only power the MVP has is putting another person up for eviction?

    4) The girls are so cookie-cutter (meaning I can’t tell one from the other), I’m having a difficult time deciding who is playing a good game or playing a game at all.

    Thanks for bringing me up to speed. With the holiday and family last week, I lost track.

    Watching Aaryn and Ginamarie talking that dirt last night just turned my stomach. Although I think they should be removed from the show for doing so, I can’t wait until they see themselves for the racists/homophobes/nasty people that they are. Karma’s a . . . . well, they will find out.

    • melthehound says:

      Let’s see. I am not paying a lot of attention to it because I Think the house is full of douchery… The Moving company, is 5 guys. Spencer, Howard, McCrea, Nick, and Jeremy. There is also a Blondetourage that includes the two blonde bigots but also a few others. One of that one was sent packing last week and had to pull himself out of Aarian’s mouth ending her showmance. The Surfer dude, Dave. A lot of other little 2 and 3 person alliances and none are completely loyal.. What else is new. Yes, the MVP can be put up for eviction since the eviction ceremony is held before the MVP is officially named. That person’s only true power is to name a third party for elimination. Whoever wins the Veto however, can overrule any of the nominations including the MVP’s, and I believe name a replacement.

      • HuskerHuny says:

        You da man MTH. Straightens a lot out for me. I’ll be watching more closely from now on I hope!

        • HuskerHuny says:

          The veto winner names the replacement if he/she takes someone off of the block? It’s always been the HOH’s job to name the replacement previously. Boy, I really need to start paying attention.

  13. TexasTart says:

    Rain! It’s raining it’s pouring πŸ˜€ sorry for the singing with glee. Lainey will understand! Not to come in and interrupt comments on the show and MTH blog (thank you for the sacrifice! ) but here are some tweets from Sunday. Have a good day! πŸ˜€

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Haven’t seen a drop where I am…It is super humid though, we’re all sitting here watch each other’s hair kink up. It isn’t pretty.

      • TexasTart says:

        So true about the hair. πŸ˜• Saw my sister this weekend and her hair was gorgeous in every style she wore it, not that it was bad before, but she looked model ready…so I ask what is different and she had a Brazillian Blowout.

  14. TexasTart says:

  15. Iowagirl says:

    Great job melthehound. You deserve an award for your selfless sacrifice.

    Jac is barley holding on to her sanity, she was scary strange last night. Caroline is clearly a stranger to her husband, it was painful to watch that scene. As usual the editing screwed Tre, if she got up and left the table. Melissa lives in a glass house, anyone have a stone I could borrow? Rosie needs meds, I don’t find her meltdowns amusing at all. This is one screwed up show.

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you, Iowagirl… If you didn’t see yesterday’s blog, happy belated (now) Birthday πŸ˜€ .. Rosie didn’t bother me this episode but for most of the ones previously, she’s too far over the top with her blowups. She needs to put the bottle down…

    • VV says:

      Happy Belated Birthday, Iowagirl!

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      Sadly, I think Rosie really believes this retreat will heal their family! So now both Teresa and Rosie want peace – but Rosie won’t be her ally when they get to the magic mountain castle!

      • melthehound says:

        Clearly, they all believe they are going there to fix Teresa when it’s themselves who (also) need the fixing. Steroid boy said again, he expects apologies from his sister.

  16. TexasTart says:

    Looks like Yo’s world tour is over 😦

  17. TexasTart says:

    Teresa’s blog is up. Sorry, I lost the link on my phone. BTW it seems Teresa was soliciting names for if she had a spin off show…this was taking place on twitter last night and she retweeted a lot of suggestions. I gotta go, catch youse guys later.

  18. TexasTart says:

    Uh oh, some tweets didn’t post πŸ˜•

  19. Kat From Ohio says:

    david foster was on keeping up with the kardashians for a hot second last night. brody and brandon jenner have been added to the cast this season and brody’s storyline is that he feels a bit of resentment towards bruce because he feels his stepfather (DAVID FOSTER!) was more involved in his life. i always forget that linda was married to both bruce and david. it really is a small world in that area… i wonder how the jenner sons get along with yolanda and what she thinks of the kardashians (god help me–i don’t mind them).

    • TexasTart says:

      Really…that is interesting..and funny how connected at the hip all these people.are.

    • Iowagirl says:

      I watch that, really strange what a small world it is out there.

    • Kansas Girl says:

      Yolanda has talked on the show about her large family — his, hers, the exes, etc. Apparently they all have holidays together and get along.

  20. TexasTart says:

  21. OY! OY! OY! I am so sorry for defending Jac week after week and then we get to this one and I am mortified by her behavior! Seriously??? Who grabs another person’s phone and rants while shopping? If I had been Kathy, I would have beat her over the head with my handbag and called for security. That was ridiculous and Kathy knew it and could not stop the bad behavior…of course, Jac’s rant then reflected on Kathy and Tre was pissed at her for good reason…OMG! I never thought I would kinda sorta maybe be on Tre’s side! OUCH! That hurts! JAC, I beg you, walk away! Stop engaging! You and Ashley are two peas in a pod and she has moved on from this! SHAME SHAME!
    Kim D is just plain gross. I can’t believe she keeps her store in business unless it is all looky-loos thinking they might get in a scene somehow.
    MelGo…stay off the pole! One day your kids are gonna see all this crap and it is just plain DISGUSTING! Joey G…YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER! Would you in a million years want your daughter treated like a piece of meat???? Sick sick sick…

    • Kat From Ohio says:

      i was home for the weekend and my mom and i watched together (for the first time in a long time) and she turned to me and said “jacqueline really is loony!” i thought maybe i was biased because of the blog, but even the less involved viewers are seeing it. i loved jacqueline in seasons 1 and 2, but not anymore! she obsesses… and she must be the most bored woman in the universe.

      for instance: i never thought that teresa was actually obsessed with danielle. she maintained the conflict because she liked the manzos and the lauritas, and because the show demanded it. but i doubt it was something she thought about much when filming ended. not the case for jacqueline, who blogged and tweeted constantly then, and is doing it again with teresa.

      something is wrong with her.

      • Birdwoman says:

        I used to like her too until after season two. That is also the time that I started following her on facebook and would get her tweets in my newsfeed. After that I couldn’t stand her. She has some major problems….

        • LaineyLainey says:

          I never liked her because of the way she allowed her then-minor daughter (Ashlee) to be filmed (or portrayed) so negatively. Every motherly instinct in me wanted to protect her then-teenager. I was so naive…that seemed so scandalous to me at the time. And now, years later,…I’m almost numb to her now; i’ve grown so accustomed to the lengths she will go to remain relevant on this show. But to be fair, she isn’t the only one who gives up so much for her paycheck. They all sacrifice their families in one way or another. It’s just that the Ashley thing really had her painted as THE BAD GUY and Jac was “poor Jac” and jac seemed to relish it… that gave me heartburn.

          • missusmc says:

            That did me in, as well. She would badmouth Ashlee, then be in hysterics, crying, in her talking head interviews, then have Chris deal with her while she looked on. It was all so very bizarre. I was on the edge of not liking her when she flipped the hell out on Dina during the Table Flipping dinner party. She just seems like she’s able to flip out at any time- she’s so touchy and never has a middle ground emotion. She’s either super happy or angry/crazed/hysterical. There doesn’t seem to be an in between with her.

          • windycitywondering2 says:

            LaineyLainey very well said!
            I never liked her ever – there was just this sneaky vibe about her from day one with Dina – that smiling through clenched teeth at her – she didn’t like her! And then her obsession with Danielle…leading up to the first child she used for a storyline. Ashley was never protected and for her to say she was her mother’s mistake broke my heart!

    • melthehound says:

      I think Jac sealed her fate with many viewers at least a year ago. For many more, last night. She may still have a few hangers on though. It disgusted me that her castmates, namely Momz and Kathy, were using him as an excuse to bring her along. She needs to get out or needs a diversion or something to that affect. I still hope the best for Nicolas but I don’t think she is it.

  22. cusi77 says:

    Brava MelTheHound! Great Job! I think this Episode has been so far the best of this Season!

    Milania and her great comments! The best of the night, I agree! Haa!

    I am not innocent anymore… Teresa and Melissa: The producers are manipulating this two ladies like puppets. Jax is just a bonus for them! She doesn’t need to be forced to make a fool of herself! Glad Nicholas got to be a happy kid, without cameras on his face for this Episode.

    Rosie really, really hit that table! Those guys on the bar she met with Teresa, are still in rehab, receiving electroshocks to come back to reality!!! She scared them the heck!

    Sexy Richie, of course HE must be sexier taking the trash out! That image of him (Like Jeff said, like a handicapped Toad) is going to be difficult to bleach out of my mind!

    Have a great day, Everyone! Hugs to all this LYNNFAM!!!!!

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      ((Cusi)) Milania for President of any country!

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you Cusi πŸ˜€ I wonder what kind of show we would see if the timeline and scene manipulators really got out of the way and just let things free flow. At one time (and perhaps still) people thought this was happening in real time. Film them, show them, film them, show them some more.. No ‘season’ that has been put into a poorly wrapped package and fed to use snippets at a time, to give us what Production wants us to see.

  23. VV says:

    Jeff, you’re recaps are fantastic. No sugar coats no BS and totally hilarious. I know you’re taking one for the team and we THANK YOU for it.

  24. Iowagirl says:

    Thank you all for the birthday wishes yesterday. Sorry I am not around lately but it’s golf season, finally! Between my grandson at the pool, golf and my flower garden there is not much time to hang out with you guys. I do always read the blog but can’t seem to find time to comment.

  25. jules says:

    MTH, “craptacular crapfest” has to be one of the best made up phrases in the history of phrases. I can’t wait to use it in real life! Thanks once again for taking one for the team. I don’t blame you at all if you stop watching. It does seem like it’s bad for your blood pressure. Just reading the recap makes me crazy so watching it in real time might kill me.

    T-Rex, thanks for that interesting piece of info. It’s more proof to me that I could never be a RH as I am not that dedicated to my appearance or clothing. Of course, my life is not nearly as much of a sh(* show as these women so I’d never be asked anyway. Thank God for small favors!

    • melthehound says:

      I can’t claim original credit for it but use it all you like. It fits many life situations and you don’t have to get vulgar to use it πŸ˜‰

      I’ll still watch but I think it’s time to fire up the fast forward button. As I told someone above, I’ll just stop talking about some of these characters, and by the end, it will be a ‘Milania Says’ recap. If she isn’t on the show, No blog the next day πŸ˜‰

      • jules says:

        I think I could actually watch the show if it were all Milania all the time. She is a freaking hoot and is the only thing I like about the NJ mess. Bravo should give Milania her own show instead of the Manzo Mangina’s.

        • melthehound says:

          πŸ˜€ ….

        • designernailsdiana says:

          jules…oh I love this “Manzo Mangina’s”. I know I’d never watch them. I barely look at the screen when they are on, which is why I miss so much and MUST read Mel’s recaps.

  26. BB says:

    OT, but this put a smile on my face this morning.
    &http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23xOtL84cLA

  27. VV says:

    Jeff,
    Heather Maclean ( @HeatherMaclean ) is Teresa’s book writer. You can Wiki her for more info πŸ™‚

  28. windycitywondering2 says:

    In the future, I will refer to the Gorga/Wakile/Laurita/Manzo collective as the “Losers Club”.
    How many meetings were we subjected to last night to push their agenda of taking Teresa down? I lost count! But the loon and the liar must have gotten their online degrees in psychology to come up with their diagnosis of Teresa’s problems. ( I don’t know about anyone else but I was offended by Wacky Jacky throwing around the label “moron” since her storyline is recovering her son. Her compassion level is now zero in my mind.) And a big o goodie to the coming magic mountain retreat! Why? Because I can’t wait to see Juicy pound the gift from God, who so richly deserves to have his whiny, vile mouth closed for him!

    Bravo made another huge misstep by not keeping at least one member of the Losers Club as a genuine friend to Teresa. Then we wouldn’t have to see skeletons pulled out of Melissa’s past and Kim D having to drive the drama forward. I don’t have to like or dislike Kim D because she does
    IMO, Bravo gambled on Part Three: another season of everyone against Teresa – even the most avid viewers of this show aren’t interested in watching it anymore – ratings are in the toilet and this franchise is swirling around the bowl.

    And now we have a trip to magic mountain to now have an intervention…the only scene I am looking forward to is watching Joe Guidice pound Joe Gorga into the floor! Why? Because it is about time that he had that disrespectful whiny mouth shut!

    The only watchable scene this week goes again to Teresa! The real respect and love between her parents and her husband and children was genuine. Teresa is very serious about passing down her parents’ traditions – now making sausage to go with the gravy they also make.

    And I agree with Jeff that it is highly likely that the senior Gorgas do not want to film with their gift from God son and his devil wife.

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      Opps – I don’t have to like or dislike Kim D because she does her job very well!

    • melthehound says:

      More ‘meetings’ than one cares to count is right. Good name for the club.. I don’t know how much of this beat down we’re going to get to see, we may have seen the extent that they will show already.. It will still be worth watching for the umteenth time πŸ˜‰

    • Powell says:

      Ok. Got it. “The losers club”. I will know just who you’re talking about.

  29. TexasTart says:

  30. TexasTart says:

  31. Mene Seela says:

    Hey everyone, I hope you had a great holiday weekend.
    I’d like to ask your opinion on something. Have any of you every tried to locate an old friend, only to discover they passed away a few years back?
    I was stunned that (apparently) one of my very best friends from way-way-back died several years ago. We lost touch when our families moved away from each other. To make things worse she and I had a tiff and parted on not such great terms. She was a huge influence/mentor in my life at that time. To this day I frequently think of her. It’s hard to fathom that I would not, on some level , known she left this earth.
    I am not 100% sure –there are no public obits. Just pieces of information which make me absolutely certain she has passed. I’ve considered reaching out to her widower, but it seems so late and frankly just nosiness to bother him now. He might be in another relationship. He might find me intrusive.
    Frankly, even if I reached him what would I say?
    β€œHi Eddie, It’s me Mene. Is it true that Jasmine passed away … long ago? How terrible. She was SO important to me that …. I didn’t even notice until now …. What happened? I hope you are doing well! I’m doing great. Talk soon.”

    I think I’m just sad.

    • princesspindy says:

      (((Mene))) I’m so sorry! If you want to look it up this is a free site http://go.fold3.com/ssdi/ you just need her name… again, I am so sorry.

      • Mene Seela says:

        Yes she is there. I can’t believe it. She was 59. This is the second person from our group to pass in their 50’s.

        • princesspindy says:

          I’m so sorry, it is so hard losing people, no matter what the circumstances. At least you know for sure….that’s way too young.

          • Mene Seela says:

            Thank you for the link. It really helped.

            • princesspindy says:

              I’m so glad it helped…now you don’t have to worry about talking to him about it and what you would say, etc…. (((Mene)))

    • Kansas Girl says:

      (((((Mene))))) the same thing happened to me just last week. I learned that an old good friend, someone that I had very deep feelings for at the time and who hurt me badly by leaving, passed away 6 months ago. I am grieving, yet it’s hard to explain to anyone because 30 years have passed. I plan to write his widow soon with condolences, even tho I never met her. I hope I can reminisce about stories from back then with the idea that she knows how loved he was by all his friends, and what an integral part of all our lives he was. Not stories involving me, but more just about him. It likely will be hard to write. I hope it will make her happy and not sad.

      I don’t think you’d be wrong in writing to her widower to tell him how important she was back then, how the friendship changed your life, and that despite the tiff you have thought of her frequently since then.

      • Mene Seela says:

        Thank you KG. You do understand. It feels so very strange that I always assumed she was enjoying her life while obviously she has be gone. I think you are right about writing. I do know him, just not well and certainly I have not spoken to him in many years.
        In a way this feels selfish on my part, talking about MY feeling to him when he has already gone through the initial grieving process.

        • Kansas Girl says:

          I don’t think you would need to talk about your feelings, but talk about the friendship and the things you remember. He likely will have heard about these things from her and it will bring back good memories. Or if he’s not heard of things you did together, it gives him a nice picture of her life before he came into it. I think your goal is to remind him of this wonderful person you both knew and let him know others miss her too. (As you figure out what you want to write, you’re doing the work on YOU, which is only selfish because grieving is really about the self. Once you figure out what to write about, you’ll no longer be just thinking of yourself. I think part of this process of remembering old times is our selves working through grief. Or it is for me.) I have been taking notes on my own memories and have a list that is way too long, but I think as I write I will be able to weed out the appropriate things.

          It does feel strange. I have always taken comfort that he was out there in the world making other people happy. Just that he’s no longer somewhere has made me indescribably sad. I had forced myself to not think of him, and now that I can remember him without anger, I find he meant a lot more to be than I ever admitted.

          I have vowed to try to communicate better, and to appreciate people who are in my life from this point on.

          And by the way, I love the friendship we all have developed here. OK, stop that sobbing — it sounds like laughing!

          • Mene Seela says:

            KG thank you for your wise words! ((Hugs)).

          • Mene Seela says:

            KG I am very sorry about your loss, especially because he behaved badly and that will never be resolved by him in this life.

            • Kansas Girl says:

              Thanks. We were both at fault for not communicating. He was swept off his feet by a very aggressive woman. It did not turn out to be a happy marriage for them. Karma, I guess. The widow is his second wife and I hope they were better for each other.

    • designernailsdiana says:

      Mene WOW I just found out a man I met when I moved back to MN and who cared for me very deeply died last year. I happened upon his name on my friends list and thought “I haven’t heard from Rhett since Ren Fest 2 yrs ago, I wonder what he’s up to”. I went to his page and was so sad to see he’d passed a year ago. I wrote on his fb page wall. He was such a kind-hearted man, but his Diabetes never got under control and led to amputations.
      It is shocking and heartbreaking to find out someone who you knew, but lost touch with has passed. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

      • Mene Seela says:

        DND that is a huge WOW. I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m glad you posted on his FB page. His friends and family probably really appreciated it.

        • designernailsdiana says:

          Mene I hope this gives you the courage to reach out and send condolences

          • I agree with KG and Diana – MS. It would be a really nice gesture to send a letter, expressing how much you appreciated his wife’s friendship. I bet he’d really appreciate it and it will make you feel better to express how much you care for her. I hope you do it. Take care!

  32. Just Wondering in Jersey says:

    I have one question. Do they eat anything other than sausage? At first I thought I had heard Tre say they were making 800 lbs of sausage but then MTH’s blog said 80 lbs which, of course. makes much more sense. But still, 80 lbs of sausage. Yikes.

    Great recap Jeff. I look forward to reading your words.

  33. ramonacoaster says:

    Did anyone else catch Andy Cohen on WWHL last night say to Jeff Lewis “they didn’t even makeup” right before the camera cut to the intro of the show last night? I was wondering if he was referring to NJ housewives. Jeff threw Jill Z under the bus when he told a story about being at a party & Jill tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around Jill held out her arms expecting a hug and he was weirded out because he never met her before. She just expected him to know her without an introduction. Andy & Jeff witnessed a crazy fight between a drunk Brandi against Nene & Kenya. Ugh! She needs to stop going overboard.

    • Amalfi says:

      Lisa’s endorsement of Brandi isn’t doing it for me anymore. As with Cedric, Lisa doesn’t always make the best choices when choosing her pets (unless they are the cute four legged kind… and then her choices are awesome.)

    • princesspindy says:

      I was excited to watch WWHL cuz of Jeff but could only stand about 5 mins of it cuz of all the NJ stuff they kept showing so I shut it off…..more Jeff, less NJ!!!!

      • HuskerHuny says:

        I love watching Jeff Lewis on WWHL but I can’t watch his shows. He is really funny. I like the comment he made during the game when he asked the mystery person if they had met on Christian Online – what a hoot!

      • chismosa says:

        I agree— Jeff all day// every day

    • Powell says:

      If JZ watched Flipping Out she’d know Jeff isn’t touchy feely and doesn’t really like to hug so if it’s someone he doesn’t know he wouldn’t want to hug them.

      Brandi, Brandi, Brandi. She needs to sit down somewhere. Isn’t she tired of all this acting crazy yet?

      • Powell says:

        I can hear Brandi now. “It was a partyyyy. I was having fun. They were just being boring stick in the muds. The boys were with their dad & I wanted to let my hair down”.

  34. TexasTart says:

    • Amalfi says:

      Sorry but that is a well-written blog. Good job to Heather — she is worth every single cent. One of Teresa’s MAJOR handicaps is that she cannot express herself (except with anger and zingers) in emotional moments. Heather is like her adderall and a bachelor’s in literary composition. Kudos.

      • LOL! I almost fell off the couch watching Teresa type last week! Ummm, no one types with one finger anymore! I wonder if she has a Dictaphone???

        • Amalfi says:

          A good editor can take the most unreadable things and make them sing — as long as the original story and character is not boring. While Heather is a good writer, I probably wouldn’t be interested in her own story, but Teresa’s… it’s like the Teresa I always wish could be in the heat of the moment… calm, literate and makes sense.

      • rabblerouser2010R says:

        There is no way I believe that Teresa writes her own blogs or uses literary references.

        • Rebecca says:

          She writes her own blogs. Then her friend rewrites them professionally. It works. We can clearly understand them after Heather’s buff and polish.

        • chismosa says:

          I agree Rabble and it’s a verrrrrrrry fine line between good “editing” and good “writing”. I worked in publishing for a while.
          Vomit vomit vomit

  35. TexasTart says:

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      It is a well written blog – it definitely pokes holes in Bravo’s curtain and gives viewers some needed truths.

  36. TexasTart says:

    RHOA filming starts! What season will this be?!

    • TexasTart says:

      Season 6. I haven’t seen a press junket though about who they have signed. As we know, sometimes they stagger the signing and start filming with the first they signed. I’m real curious if they will want Kenya back. I think I want Porsha back just for her special way with words, ha.

    • melthehound says:

      Why is SHE exhausted thinking about it? Seems she was barely on the show last season, with her new LA Lifestyle and all…

  37. princesspindy says:

    Hey Jeff, Great Job, The “Blow back” line was my favorite and had me laughing!! I could picture Jaq’s hair flying back! I have to thank you cuz I really couldn’t watch most of the episode but knew you would recap it for me, lol! I think I am done with these people…..but I do want to see Juicy kick Baby Joe’s butt!!! I can live vicariously thru Juicy!!!
    Now to play Devil’s Advocate with Jaq….remember people, I don’t like any of them…..as Crazy Bat shite as Jaq was by grabbing the phone, what she was saying had a ring of truth to it….as far as Tre being with whoever she was with at the salon all day….how could she not know something was up, etc….do I care, not a bit, …….too bad she acts like she is 10 and Tre’s “lalalalalala”….they are perfect for each other!!!!
    Caroline and Al, that was painful to watch…..He’s just not that into her……

    • Amalfi says:

      I am going to agree that Teresa knew something was up, and wanted to be the hero and confront baldy with Melissa. It didn’t go as she might have liked since they rest of them knew something was up too and were more than happy to sacrifice Teresa for an exciting finale and reunion.

      And Jac… what a hag. I can’t get past her aggressiveness and ugliness (and not physically because I think – well thought – she was actually the prettiest one of all of them with the sweetest princess voice) to bother to hear the vomit she spews regularly on the topic of Teresa…which on that day, as everyday, she – and her bloroxed bodyparts – firmly inserted herself into.

      • princesspindy says:

        I sometimes don’t know what to think, I talked to my 86 yr old mom and she HATES Tre, thinks she is mean, mean, mean…that surprised me cuz I don’t think of Tre as mean, not quick witted but not mean….. I told her I would try and watch from her point of view, I have noticed some more shade than I would have seen….it makes me wonder if Jaq knows so much inside stuff from when they were close that it is making her nuts, lol!! that is kind of a joke and kind of serious….but Jaq was definitely Engineer Bill on the Crazy Train last night!

        • Amalfi says:

          Your mom is not wrong — Teresa has some mean streaks as bad as the rest of them, for sure, and she is trying hard to show herself I the best light despite that. I just find her the least horrifying.

          Plus I have a soft spot for her schlepping all over the country and paying back her creditors (as far as I know) while Joe G wanted to pretty much lay down and die. She is a strong woman in some ways, and maybe that is not totally real, but I kinda despise the alternatives. The only time I liked Gretchen ever was after Jeff died and she was hawking her sad little Gretchen purses and Gretchen Christine Beaute crap at those sad little trade shows that no one came too… at least those women despite the fact they have serious serious flaws were able to find a way to fend for themselves (though of course, G had some –if not as much as everyone thought– of Jeff’s money to tide her through. T was pretty much in charge … and for someone with her limited education and work experience and growing up in a family where the woman was definitely NOT the breadwinner, I think she is ok and a head above the other women/trolls on that show.

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you PrincesPindy.. πŸ˜€

      Re the salon… One, I don’t think she was there all day.. Even if she was, how does the Jacalope know that? SHE wasn’t there…

      • princesspindy says:

        They all know EVERYTHING about Treresa, it is kinda creepy.
        Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, it is soooo creepy….like if Tre got constipated they would all starve to death!!!!!

        • melthehound says:

          πŸ˜† I just saw that Brady Bunch episode a couple nights ago (channel called MEtv),..

          • princesspindy says:

            HAHA! Oh, I use to watch in the den all by myself , my parents and brothers didn’t want to watch with me, go figure, never missed an episode!!

        • Laineylainey says:

          Moesha, moesha, moesha!

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      IMO – Teresa was referring to the “texts from that friend” that Wacky said she would send to Melissa as the Gorgas were leaving the fashion show fiasco. We know that Wacky keeps every text, e mail and apparently illegally recorded phone conversation so that she “has proof” even though she never uses it!
      Seriously, that hijacked phone call was yet another attempt from Wacky to get her lover Teresa back – too sad and so sick. Teresa should have hung up but she is a good Bravo employee so the lalalalala really cracked me up.

  38. VV says:

    The Manifesto is Up !!! The Manifesto is Up !!!

  39. shamrockblonde says:

    Jeff!! Great blog!! – when Jaq, Chris Kathie Ritchie, Mel and Joe were at the bar, and Jaq suddenly stated ranting about T, did anyone notice Chris? he wanted nothing more than for Jaq to shut up – his hand was actually on the side of her face, and at one point, pulled her head close to him and he made a shh face – and what is with Kim D’s lips? is that botox or is it just stuck in a forever duck face? that and the trainer that came to Jaq’s house to “work her out” – one squat, and not a very good one at that – and then the ranting – the trainer looked sooo fed up – you could hear her murmuring “triceps, triceps” during the Jaq rant –

    Jeff, your recaps are spot on –

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you SRB… Yes, It seems that everyone around her sees that Jac has gone off the deep end.. As for KimD’s face, someone told me last night that her wrinkles have wrinkles πŸ˜† Me thinks that someone is making a lot of money telling these and other people, that the trout pout is still good looking (never was)…

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      Chris was watching all the side eyes as Wacky ranted on and on….he is no fool but he can’t control her outbursts either.

    • Laineylainey says:

      He looked so embarrassed

  40. NMH says:

    Another EXCELLENT recap! I’ve yet to watch the episode but will catch it on repeat sometime this week. It sounds absolutely awful! I’m no “Team Teresa” and think she’s not as innocent as she likes to portray herself and I think Juicy is a downright pig, but compared to the rest of the cast, my sympathy is certainly with her. These people are absolutely awful, and I think they realize how awful they come off and even blame her for that,rather than take responsibility for their own actions. I wish they would get rid of all of them and just make it a Guidice family show, which would be much more entertaining. From my typing fingers to Bravo’s ears…..

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you NMH πŸ˜€ You know, I’ve never really cared for the way Joe treats Teresa, telling her to shut up and that kind of stuff. I do like that he has never seemed to have an interest in being a housewife, like his BIL or like Kathy’s husband. I have to say though that this season, he’s been the least pig-like of all of them, especially the husbands,

      • NMH says:

        Your absolutely right..and what a statement to be able to make…less piggish than the other RHONJ wives&husbands! LOL! Who would have thunk it?!

  41. iceNfire says:

    Hello – I just saw some negative press on Fox News about that L.I. Princess using the statue of a fallen 911 Firefighter to promote her ‘drink hankies’…atleast she can use those stupid things to blow her nose

  42. I’m so glad I stopped caring about any of the HW’s. My life is so much better. I’m enjoying the Big Brother fiasco as it unfolds. Aaryn getting fired while she is still in the house. Spencers Railroad issuing a diclaimer about his views not being their views. It just keeps getting better and better. That dumb surfer “Dud” David is sounding like the twit that he is saying Spencer, Aaryn and GinaMarie are in for a “Wide-awakening” when they get out of the BB house. Um dude it’s a “BIG awakening” not wide. I swear this generation of auto-corrected 20somethings is ridiculous. They need to LISTEN to learn the proper way to speak and when to STFU.
    Thank You Mel for watching the Crapfest and blogging it.

    • designernailsdiana says:

      Correction: RUDE Awakening

      • HuskerHuny says:

        I’m waiting for the moment when Aaryn is voted out and she sits on the couch next to Julie and tries to explain the Asian (and other racial/homophobe) references away (that is if Julie calls her out on them). Can she really be that dumb to think that she can say those kind of things and not be called out for them? I’m beginning to think she’s a plant – no one is that dumb and insensitive in today’s world. Really?

        • iceNfire says:

          Wish Aaryn had put Kaitlin on the block instead of Nick….Kaitlin+Jeremy is a huge threat to all of them

          • BB says:

            What? I thought she put Elissa and Helen up., not Nick.

          • AZGirl says:

            I have been thinking about Kid Rock. We were in Tucson when the leak occurred at the Chandler facility. Everything ok?

            • iceNfire says:

              Hi AZGirl – huh? KidRock didn’t even know about the fires a few weeks back. He doesn’t watch tv or read newspapers…I am his source of current affairs. Going to facebook message him as soon as he get off work.

    • Powell says:

      Diana hope you are feeling well and also hope your dad is doing well.

      I don’t watch BB but I’m sorry I missed that unfold. I watched a bit last week to see if it was going to unfold. On ALL of these reality game shows & real life shows what so many of them keep forgetting is that the show will go off at the end of the season or after it’s run and maybe 1 person will be offered something that is real & tangible in the entertainment field but other than that they will go back to their regular lives where they need a J O B, they have to pay rent/mortgage, they have to go to the grocery store, buy gas, & go to the bank just like the rest of us. So now the model has no modeling agency. What’s she going home to if she doesn’t win?

    • Orson says:

      I used to cringe during the THs on American Chopper. So many times the word “well” would have been more appropriate than the word “good”, but “well” didn’t seem to be in anyone’s vocabulary there.

  43. rabblerouser2010R says:

    Jeff, thank you very much for the blog. Your wit helps take some of the stink off of the crap.

  44. AZGirl says:

    Howdy everyone from “hell on earth” High of 111 today. Just like a hot day to bring out road rage out in the office complex parking lot. I was getting mail and two guys were yelling at each other over a parking space. Lovely.
    Good for Teresa’s friend Heather for calling out Siren for setting Tre up again with their editing. Sick and tired of Teresa having to constantly defend herself regarding Melissa. I am so sick of production manipulating the story line. You would thinks they would learn after last season’s strippergate.

    I did not watch and so I am need of explanation regarding Mom Manzo’s “I don’t eat fish” comment. Why does that mean she is letting the viewer know that she is aware that Al cheats? Never heard that expression before. Kindly fill me in.

    • princesspindy says:

      I didn’t get that either, unless Al recommended the fish…..kinda like, “I don’t know what girl you were with who ordered the fish”….I wasn’t paying attention cuz it was just so sad and pathetic.

      • melthehound says:

        I think it was something like that.. I would have to go back to last night’s chat to get the full context of it..

    • windycitywondering2 says:

      I took it to mean that after 29 years of marriage one would know if their spouse likes fish as an entre or not. So maybe someone else knows the answer to that….

    • TexasTart says:

      I feel for you…had that temp here and really it sbould be much more rare here – than your location. Thanks for posing the fish comment – I don’t get that either.

    • Powell says:

      WHewwwww AZGirl. And summer has just begun. Hopefully it will cool down.

      I don’t know why Bravo has the production companies manipulating anything.
      Why can’t they just let the shows be true “reality” shows? They know the viewers don’t like it.

  45. mimisfbay says:

    Oh, MTH, I laughed so hard! Thanks for the hilarious blog that has spared me from actually watching that train wreck.
    Mimi

  46. windycitywondering2 says:

    I loved when Nonno bear hugged Gabriella back and then rubbed his whisker stubble on her face – my grandfather used to do that too – sweet memory.

    • looneylucy says:

      That’s ironic wcw…my grandpa did the same thing too, but when I saw him in the mornings, his face was sooo smooth, and he always smelled of Old Spice! Yes, sweet memories we’ll always have. And so will Gabriella as she’ll have in on tape to rewatch for years to come!

    • Orson says:

      Okay, wcw2, where’s the “like” button for that one.

  47. TexasTart says:

    I’d really like to view these but I am not on Facebook. Maybe someone else would be interested…

    • melthehound says:

      Set one up.. The Hound has 3.. We only use one though πŸ˜‰

      • TexasTart says:

        So what are they?! And does The Hound have any friends on the other two?! hehe I’m just jokin’ with ya…. I get your point, thanks. πŸ™‚

        • melthehound says:

          Two of them are friends with each other. The third has some sort of attitude about it and is just there, lurking.. The one that’s used for the blog stuff, is Melvin.McTrick … his proper name that he gets all his mail (including credit card offers) sent to..

    • Laineylainey says:

      Ramona is such a good looking lady!

  48. lulu says:

    Mth still crying over “this moron!!!!” πŸ˜‰ love your recaps!!! Next week the infamous juicy throws steroid boy like a hamster :).

  49. AZGirl says:

    Back from the vet. Pepper has vaginalitist (sp?) Discharge from spaying procedure. Really gross. On antibiotics. Its a bitch being female he,he,he,he (pun totally intended).
    Hopefully get caught up on Crapfest 2013 tonight. Then I will take a swim in the pool to get cleanzy.

    • TexasTart says:

      LOL! πŸ˜†

    • TexasTart says:

      Oh, I love hearing about Pepper. Good luck dispensing meds…she’ll be better soon. πŸ™‚

      • AZGirl says:

        Hey TT I see that “Good Hair” Perry is not running for Gov. again. Any thoughts?

        • TexasTart says:

          Yes, I hope the next Governor has good hair. I can appreciate some good hair. πŸ™‚ I don’t think anyone should be in power too long. He’s held the office longer than any in history. Will be 15 years if he sees this term to end. He’s played a role in keeping government from infringing on my rights as a citizen of the state…keeping the state financially responsible and strong with some of the highest job creation numbers in the country. Another thing I like about Texas is we still have no state income tax and that hasn’t changed under his watch, actually we don’t have to pay franchise tax for our small business anymore… he has been huge proponent of small business.

    • Powell says:

      Poor Pepper. It’s hard to be any kind of woman. πŸ™‚ Men have no idea.

      • melthehound says:

        Thankfully so πŸ˜‰ We have our problems too…

        • Laineylainey says:

          My husband had sympathy nausea when I was pregnant with LaineyBoy. I might have thought it was cute, except I was REALLY nauseated.

          • melthehound says:

            Can’t say I have ever experienced that… Someone else in the room/house puking didn’t help you?

    • Laineylainey says:

      Speedy Recovery, pepper!

    • lulu says:

      Oh no poor pepper !!!!!! I hope she isn’t too uncomfortable.

    • Orson says:

      As the Blues Brothers sang, “Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman”.

  50. AZGirl says:

    @MTH/Jeff I am watching last night’s NJ and you deserve a medal recapping this crap. Seriously, Jac at the boutique? She is freaking nuts. Kathy could not even reason with her. What the hell meds is this woman on. Commercial break and the Momzy and Al are next. I will hopefully gain some insight on the “fish” comment. Al looks like he is being forced/paid to even be around Caro. How disturbing is this!

    • Laineylainey says:

      That was very strange, so strange that I was cringing and I actually felt bad for Caroline. The way he looks at her. It’s not a warm or even amused (bemused) look. I would feel hurt if my husband looked at me like that. I actually felt kinda hurt for her. Hopefully, I am misreading this…she ain’t my fave, but I wouldn’t want her marriage to break up.

      • Amalfi says:

        I could tell that Caroline was alone at that dinner. They usually put on a happy face for the cameras, but Caroline kept throwing passive aggressive remarks like “you must be thinking of someone else when you ordered fish for me…” or whatever she said, and Al lobbed it right back by mocking their getaway 10 blocks from the boys with a room for Lauren. He didn’t smile once. It was sad to see Caroline in her TH talking about the success of her marriage when in the scene with her husband, it is clear they are both trying too hard and not succeeding in looking happy. Actually Caroline is trying.. Al is not even doing that.

        Perhaps it was just one bad day and they were having issues and still had to film. But I don’t think so.

      • AZGirl says:

        LL I totally agree except Caroline needs to get him out of her life. Al does not give a rat’s ass about Caroline. He made her look like a fool. She is the mother of his children and degrades her on national TV. Caroline was really hurt. If I were her I would leave him and be done. Or…better yet…Hey Al come look at the view of the Hudson from the balcony and throw him over. Screw him. Yes she is a pain and angry but you don’t treat your wife of what 25 years like trash.

        • Rebecca says:

          Maybe he’s tired of her emasculating him their whole marriage. She does seem to love her sons more than anyone else on the planet. She wants him to leave the big house he worked 24 hours a day for, so she can live in a broken apartment 10 blocks from the true loves of her life – her boys.

          • Amalfi says:

            I am this close to feeling sorry for her when all that reverberates in my head is how she talked about Joe Giudice and “mark my words” that Teresa will leave him someday and be strong for the girls – “what a book that’ll be.” Sometimes when people talk smack about others, they are really just quietly telling you about themselves.

            I just can’t waste much sympathy on someone like that… but I do a little bit, anyway.

    • melthehound says:

      Do feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong about something. As I said in my recap.. One time through is enough for me. I’ve already been corrected about the amount of sausage, 800lbs, not 80lbs (that wasn’t a typo either)..

      • Amalfi says:

        lol… oh would that it was only 80 lbs. Seriously how much family do they have???

        1) 5 brats in my freezer weigh approximately 20 oz or 4 oz ea.
        2) 800 lbs equals12,800 oz.
        so… that is 800 lbs or 3200 4oz sausages.

        Wth??

        • Orson says:

          Maybe they’re a traditional family gift? I dunno. They have to smoke them next after they stuff the wrapper and tie off the links, right?

      • Rebecca says:

        800 lbs of sausage in a 6 lb. bag?

  51. AZGirl says:

    Mel is a total bitch and needs to off this show. Kathy is beginning to see the light about all this crap. Richie needs one of those ankle monitors where the authorities can keep track of him.

    • melthehound says:

      Ankle monitors πŸ˜†

      • windycitywondering2 says:

        Add a sound absorbing muzzle and it just might decrease his creepy factor by….nothing, never mind!

    • TexasTart says:

      You got that right – ankle monitor and he can’t lice near schools and parks. That guy totally gives me the creeps.

  52. kendo says:

    Does anyone know about Wills and what happens when people are listed and the executor steals their inheritance? Are the lawyers involved not responsible to make sure everyone is contacted. This is from 30 years ago. The law firm is still around and a couple of the thieves are still alive and they still have the property that was part of the will. How do you find a lawyer or someone that will research and not charge unless there’s a settlement? Or just charge a small fee? My sister and I just recently received a copy of the will from my step dads father. It stated that if my step dad died that his family would be taken care of and there was money for college. We never knew of this, and his sister was able to get with other siblings and steal the money and property. She also took hundreds of war bonds, just recently found out about this from a cousin.

    • Amalfi says:

      If an executor violates some law (in this case misappropriating the estate’s assets, or using the assets for own financial gain), you and any other beneficiaries have legal recourse.

      So basically, if you have proof this happened, get a lawyer. A very good one.

      • kendo says:

        My sister has been trying to get one. No one calls her back. She found out about the will after being contacting by a step sister. My mom was the 2nd wife, apparently everyone loved the first and didn’t give my mom a chance. My sister is going to University of Phoenix online at the age of 44 and could use the money. That’s how this came to light.

    • rabblerouser2010R says:

      I can ask my MIL who is a para legal but I am thinking if the will passed probate and 30 years have passed, there is probably little that can be done.

      I am sorry if that is the case. 😦

  53. chismosa says:

    Hi thanks MTH for the recap – still have to read.

    IOWAGIRL- I’m sorry I neglected yesterday to wish YOU a happy birthday! So my apologies πŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽπŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸŽ

    Have fun tonight y’all with the OC. I think the drag queen is back?

    I’m just flabbergasted with LI Princesses. Again they went above and beyond criticizing a nice town yesterday.πŸ‘ΊπŸ‘ΊπŸ‘Ί All the places on last night’s episode are in my town. We saw Bill O’Reilly at that restaurant once since he lives here.

    Again, thanks to you all for the kind birthday wishes ///hugs.

    Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice go jump off the GW. Love it!!

  54. boston02127 says:

    I’m so lost. Is this the right blog?

  55. Laineylainey says:

    MTH – finally read it…so funny…laugh out loud goodness. πŸ˜€

  56. iceNfire says:

    Welcome To Big Brother 15 The Summer of Bigotry *warning this is very offense

    • Laineylainey says:

      No words

    • melthehound says:

      I hope Jeremy hangs himself with that stupid ass blue bandana.. or maybe his red one. What is he, 1/128th ‘indian’? I see the subjects of every single dumb blonde joke ever written on this show. Yes, Arrian, You ARE a bitch and a number of other things I heard in that video. Own it. It’s all you have now because you are now unemployed…. bitch.

    • rabblerouser2010R says:

      I don’t think of myself as a politically correct person but I can’t even get through 5 minutes of this.

    • Laineylainey says:

      Hey icey, can you post the link for this? I went looking for it because I wanted to send it to my daughter. Those young women remind of some of the ignoramuses she was subjected to when she was in college.

    • TexasTart says:

      Astounding. The summer of bigotry would be a more appropriate title.

      • iceNfire says:

        I sign up for the live feeds every season b/c I want to see for myself. This is the first time I regret spending money ($25) It’s usually really fun in the live feeds chat rooms but there is just too much negativity this year and I find myself getting angry #BravoPissesMeOffEnoughSuckLemons CBS

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