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Bling, Sparkle, & Jewels OH MY!
Project Runway Ep. 2 Season 12
By: Leslie Lovette
Project Runway is back! As the designers await the next challenge, security guards stand on the runway. The designers freak! We all know the history of challenges with men as models, (HORRID) so I’m sure they all were expecting the worst(as were we!). Bling, sparkle, and jewels OH MY!! 30 MILLION DOLLARS worth of jewelry is draped on the models! The challenge this week is to be inspired from a gorgeous set of dripping diamonds and create an evening wear look. Since Bradon, our dancer gone designer, won last challenge he has first choice on gems. Heidi then turns to the button bag on who picks next. Now they are off to sketch! And Project Runway is doing things a little different this season for the designers budgets. Instead of having a limited budget for each challenge, Project Runway just handed them a GObank account card with $4,000 on it and that is their budget for the entire season! Good or bad thing? Guess we’ll see.
Off to Mood! Timothy, our little sustainable garbage digger, searches through remnants of fabric. “I’m able to go through the garbage bags and I feel right back at home!” …….OOOOOkay Timothy.. not sure if digging through garbage bags for fabric is the best way to go while making a garment for a gajillion dollar diamond jewelry set. Let’s watch this hot mess go down. Back in the sewing room Sandro and Ken (our man who’s always dressed for the occasion with his bowtie) get into our first fight of the season and claws are out! Lackluster…I’m not even sure what it was about? Who’s dressed better maybe? Justin, our talented deaf designer, is annoyed and willingly takes off his hearing aid so he doesn’t have to hear the claws on the chalkboard. On another note, WHY are designers adamant about working with fabrics they’ve never sewn with before? I would think, if I’m on a reality show, with challenges, prize money, and fame, I would want to put my best work on the runway, hence not use a fabric I’ve never sewn, because I wouldn’t know what the crap I was doing. Call me rational! So Kahindo, not using any rational sense whatsoever, buys silk charmeuse a fabric she’s never touched before… It’s a beautiful print before, however, I have a feeling the ‘after’ will be another story. Tim and I are both concerned.
Tim is also worried about Dom’s green emerald dress going pool side moo moo floozy! (who knew you could get all aspects in one garment?) Kate, our returning designer, is making a draping Victorian corset something rather…expected. Sandro, our Russian spitfire is wearing a silk cheetah skin print blouse..I can’t stop looking at the cheetah stretched out over his back and he’s trying to rock some chest hair to go along with that 70’s porn stache, it’s all very distracting disturbing. Oh yea, he’s making some 50’s retro inspired something rather garment to go with his brown diamonds. Alexander, our precious ginger, looks like his inspiration is a day at grandmas house, Helen, our dark misunderstood tat girl, thinks her shat don’t stink and that she’s going to blow Tim hardcore with her design. (insert sexual joke here) Timothy(for a sustainable trash digger he’s awfully cute!) has blue velvet across the mannequins boobs and nothing else, and Timothy is not understanding what hot mess means. I think Tim was being nice by even saying ‘hot’ mess, because I think it is a skanky kids dance rehearsal costume disaster.
During the model fitting Timothy is placing random pieces of cloth across his model’s chest (face palm!) Funny how Helen thinks her layered tethered garment is new and fashion forward, when I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that on mom of the brides dresses from David’s Bridal…or the misses section at Dillards. Did Kahindo really just say Michelle Obama would wear her dress? Maybe if she were on a booze binge trying to camouflage into the bar scene. Designers run around like chickens with their heads cut out, Sandro has no idea how to push a button on a steamer. He tries to have a crew member work the button on the steamer but to no avail. I guess Russian steamers function differently? On a side note: I never heard of BELK until I went to Branson. I didn’t know it was a big thing.
On to the Runway show! Heidi’s tossled sex hair looks fabulous! And Tim is getting to sit on judges panel. I love it! Dom’s emerald dress rocks it and goes with her diamonds perfectly. The back is soft and flirty, I absolutely love it! No flooze would look this fab! Justin’s LBD (little black dress) is perfection! I would totally rock that dress, with those million dollar diamonds of course. I am no fan of Ken’s green dress. It looks like the dress’ intestines are ruffling off the side of her body. Kahindo’s beautiful print’s ‘after’ look looks like camouflage. Who knew you could make a camo cocktail dress? So I had to rewind for Alexandria’s look. Does that say it was kind of boring? Maybe. Miranda’s 40’s girl top and pencil skirt look is already getting old and its only episode 2. The back was fun with ties and buttons, but that’s about it. Our ginger Alexanders look had a yellow diamond, who knew grandma could rock a flowy black gown?! Kate’s Victorian dress looked fab! Predictable, a little costume’ish, but fab nonetheless. Timothy’s blue velvet piece turned into a backwards dress and I don’t think I get it. Or him. Karen’s blue dress is not flattering and a lackluster. Jeremy’s tule dress is gorgeous and demanding! (maybe I’m bias because I love tule) Sandro’s design is straight up Russian, or spicy 40’s cocktail girl. It went well with the dark rubys though. Helen starts shaking and breaks into tears. And after seeing her dress I don’t blame her. Sue’s dress I’ve seen before. Bradon’s glitz fabric looks amazing on his dress and immunity did him well this week to be able to push his limits!
Kate’s Victorian gown, Dom’s emerald dress, and Sandro’s sexy skin tight cocktail dress are the top 3! Kahindo’s camouflage dress, Timothy’s blue velvet number, and Helen’s brown gown are bottom 3. The judges think Kahindo’s came from a sales rack, that Timothy’s dress is on backwards and Helen’s is incomplete. Helen tells the judges evening wear is her forte and Heidi’s draw drops, because her brown gown is so awful and ill constructed. During the close up of the garments the judges say Sandro is right on the line between stripper and chic! Designers come back out on the runway and Kate is the winner! Marie Antoinette design looked amazing, gorgeous, and beautiful! So dainty, yet strong! Then it comes down to Timothy and Kahindo as the bottom two. Will the judges get rid of a dress on backwards, or camo off the rack? Our little garbage digger makes it another week, and Kahindo is out. Aufedersein!
(I thought I could keep this shorter but with 16 designers its hard to do. By the way, does anyone else think they ran out of a lot of push the edge, fashion forward designers by like season 8??)