Here we go again. Let me get this out of the way. I will not be discussing the legal problems of anyone on this show, within these recaps. If that’s what you want to discuss, have at it. Even write it up in an email and submit it to NMD for a future blog post. I’m sure she would appreciate the input. I’m am also certain there are plenty of legal experts here who know exactly what is going to happen and when. I don’t have such a crystal ball or mystical powers that allow me to see the future or even the near present which is why, I won’t be discussing it. That doesn’t mean you cannot bask in the glow of it all, I don’t want to take that from anyone. I do however find it disgusting and I lost a lot of respect for a few people this week, not that it matters much to anyone.
I had hoped to do the live chat with you all last night during the show. However, I fell asleep before it began and after watching the playback on the DVR, I see that was time well spent. I said last week that I was done with the phucknut, Jacqueline and I meant it when I said she would get the fast forward treatment. Nothing she says or does is worth my time. Truthfully, I would rather take a flashlight, go out into the back yard, and so some mine sweep cleaning up after the dog, barefoot, than waste anymore time with her. Anyone who knows me well enough is aware of how much I hate going barefoot. So, this is going to be a short recap of the show. I’ve been giving you previous week’s video recaps from Closetfreak so here is the one for episode 9. Her 14yo dog passed away this week so I wouldn’t stretch my neck looking for a recap of last night’s show.
Let’s get to this.. The show opens at one of Joey’s construction sites. You know, there’s mud and stuff like that all over, this is February or something like that after all. Up pulls MeGo in her shiny car with the two boys, Gino and Joey in tow. I thought I read in her crapfest chapter that she married her dad so she’s no stranger to construction sites. No stranger to how ‘dirty’ they are. Yet she makes a fuss about it… Whatever 🙄 . She is there so
we can see that Joey has been asked to do a billboard for the local tanning place she can bring him some blueprints. He wants her to do the billboard with him but she doesn’t want to because Teresa once did a commercial for the same company. He’s perfect of course, a Calvin Klein model type, and he wants his wife there with him. She has her own photoshoot for her book cover however and doesn’t want to make any waves with this tanning place advertisement. Now that’s all settled, she takes a ride on the bobcat. If you don’t know what one is and didn’t see the show, look it up. I’ll just say that she’s dangerous. Her son agrees as he spits out “holy shit, SHIT’ . I’m liking Gino… He may be the Milania of the Gorga family.
Speaking of Milania, we’re now at the Giudice home. Audrianna doesn’t want to dress her own barbies, Teresa is trying to cook dinner, Milania and Gabriella are setting the table. Who knows what Joe is doing or Gia for that matter. Audrianna thinks she is going to play with Joey and Antonia but, Milanaia corrects her and says that Antonia is Hers. She can have Joey if she wants. I could watch this for the entire hour. Week after week, who knows but for a single show, yes. The doorbell rings and it’s the Gorgas. One of the girls announces to Joe that these are her cousins. It’s a nice scene all around I guess. This is the first time on over a year that one family has been in the other’s house. I guess the retreat worked. Teresa is happy and MeGo says something to the affect of ‘be a good little girl and we can do this all the time’…. Really bitch? She still has no part in whatever this feud was, we all get that. Anyone that read that piece of shit she calls a chapter one of her book can clearly see that nothing that happens to her is ever her fault. She is a professional victim and it doesn’t even take a wiki-shrink to see that. She’s not a golddigger even though her fondest memory of her parents is matching Rolexes and their 1989 Lincoln Towncar (first one on the block). Just sayin…. The billboard is discussed and it’s noted, he got a billboard, she (Teresa) had a commercial. Who cares? Joey wants to take Gia out for a birthday lunch because he hasn’t seen her in forever and she has grown since the last time. Gia isn’t stupid, asshole. He is her godfather after all. Too bad he couldn’t remember that when she had her birthday party and put his bullshit aside. Angel from God… Satan…. Just sayin… Lines of this scene? Teresa to Milania: Are you gonna cook for your husband when you get married? Milania: No! He’s gonna cook for me!
Since she is on the hotseat here, how about these photoshoots. His is for the tanning place and he’s doing his flexing for the camera. Since MeGo didn’t want any part of that, there is a stand-in for her. It doesn’t matter, the final ad was him alone on the billboard and we’ll get to that in a second. Her photoshoot is typical diva wannabe (no offense to our own Diva). She is on the stairs in her house and she insists on having the fan blowing her hair. Take after take, she isn’t satisfied with the blowjob she is getting. This has to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Inside the house, windblown hair. Where is the wind supposed to be coming from? I know their house is a shabbily constructed fake shack but really? Anyway, they get a picture that she is satisfied with, for now.
Now we find ourselves back in Kathy’s kitchen (or her mom’s or Rosie’s… I don’t know which, don’t care). Remember that Rosie is in the midst of a 6 year dry spell. Seems that Kathy didn’t like Rosie’s last GF and made it very difficult for her sister. We are treated to a flashback of Teresa telling Rosie that Kathy has some problem with Rosie being a lesbian. I honestly don’t care about this nor do I care what Kathy thinks of it. I am not either one of them though but we’ll go with the point of this entire scene. The next place we see then all is at a local lesbian hot spot. That’s The Gorgas and the Wackilies, including Richie. I don’t know how local it was, I thought I heard someone say it was in Soho (NY?). The entire point of this is to get Rosie laid. These people are too far invested in this woman’s sex life or lack thereof. Especially Fishy Richie. At the door, they are to get wrist bands describing their current status. Available, dating, DTF, and something else. DTF? For you Jersey Shore non-watchers (MTV), that is Down To Fuck. Courtesy of those trash heaps from MTV. Kathy seems shocked at this but whatever, prude. Joey wants that wrist band. There are all types here, including swingers, which intrigues MeGo. Rosie doesn’t ‘swing’ with anyone but women. Good to know because Richie finds a pair of single women who she might be interested in. One of them, named Ellen, is polite enough to try and listen to Rosie. If this is Rosie’s pick up tactic, I can see why she hasn’t gotten any in 6 years. This poor woman was bored to tears as Rosie droned on and on about God knows what. This clearly isn’t Rosie’s kind of place, it’s Richie’s. Somehow, Ellen made a polite exit and that was the end of our evening at Club De Sappho.
You just knew it had to happen sooner or later. They’re back. The Manzoids. We see them first at their half finished restaurant in Hoboken where the carpenters are still working on the floor. Really? I have guys who could have finished that in 2 or 3 days but it’s taking these guys weeks. Maybe if the Manzos got the phuck out of the way, things would get done. Miracle Murk isn’t making anyone any money so they have to get this place opened up so they can pay the rent. Next (somewhere in this crapfest) we find ourselves at the Hoboken apartment. The one that has a room for Lauren and, surprise, she is there. Dinner is on for Momz and Big Al and the brood. Momz is on Albie’s back to have more of a life than just work. Albie wishes she would stfu, Big Al, tells her to. Yep.. Highlight of the episode. Even better than Milania… .if that’s possible.
I guess I’ll mention that we saw Joey’s billboard. Gino, My Man, gave our opinion of it. It’s a stupid billboard. Big deal.
The rest of the episode received the fast forward action so that’s all I have for you. Next week kids, Greggy is back. So is the phucknut’s pig of a daughter. Gia and the angel from God do lunch or something like that and it looks like he may have to answer to her, for his actions at the christening. We’ll see how he weasels his way out of that one. Chat comment of the night: Sorry Wacky Jacky putting your hand in front of your michelan man neck isn’t going to work!– Windycitywondering2
See you next week.