Let’s start with the first of the three-part Real Housewives of Orange County reunion. I caught the first look last weekend. I was mesmerized by the sour puss look on Gretchen Rossi’s face. But then I began to wonder if it was a real expression or just the botox. Perhaps she was happy but her face was so frozen I couldn’t tell. Then I began to wonder why her face was so much worse than the others. Most of them are probably riddled with botox. Isn’t it a poison as well? Could it be responsible for killing off her brain cells?
Gretchen and Vicki got the prime seats – one on either side of Andy. I’m a little surprised Tamra didn’t outrank Gretchen. Alexis and Lydia were on the ends. In the first ten minutes, I’m not sure if Alexis said a word. She was probably over there enjoying herself for once.
The ladies all acted civilized for the first 10 minutes. I wonder how long that lasted.
Tamra and Gretchen are no longer friends. Did anyone see that coming? I thought they were best friends forever.
The previews show Brianna shouting that “he” told her his penis size. Presumably Brooks. Goodness, Briana – did you really have to tell us that? Vicki also confides that she’s not divorced from Donn. Once it becomes finalized she may have to pay spousal support – so she’s happy to keep the relationship in a holding status. Tamra tells us that she thinks Donn and Vicki will get back together – but Vicki says that Donn says that won’t happen unless a monkey flies up his ass. I guess that’s a no. Surprisingly, Vicki seems open to it.
I should be fonder of the Miami cast than I am. I recapped them much of last year – and interviewed a bunch. But they sort of bore me. Adriana has been married to Fredriq for five years, but will have a wedding on the show. I wonder how they’ll spin that one. Lea used to support Adriana financially, but Adriana will turn on her this season. Lisa seems nice enough, but not that interesting. Joanna will do ANYTHING to entertain us – and probably is just a little crazy, but I can’t tell when she’s acting and when she’s being real. I don’t have any feelings one way or another for Alexia, and Marysol and Ana have been demoted to “friend” status.