Real Housewives Of Orange County
Reunion – Part 2 of 3
By – Stars99
Vicki says, “That’s what you do in Mexico, you have fun and you act like an idiot!” Woo hooo! Let the snarking begin!
For reasons completely beyond me, and as this episode’s installment of, “I kid you not” – A viewer actually asks Tamra, “What’s it sound like when a stripper bounces his junk off your ear!” I mean, do we really want to know? And why on EARTH were we all just reminded of that visual we had worked so hard to get out of our minds, dagnabit! Heather looks like she is about to get sick… Heather said Terry was laughing at Heather because that night she was sitting behind them throwing anti-bacterial soap at all of them. Gretchen said she had a glob in her hair. I just want to quickly leave this subject… Can we please?
Since Alexis wasn’t in Mexico, she was asked a question that Tamra had to answer, “What’s Jim’s best body part?” Wait… I didn’t mean to imply they were asking Tamra about Jim… they were asking her about Eddie…lol… and may I just say, “OMG”… Please enough with the body part talk, people! Alexis just boastfully says, “I think Peggy said it really well.” People look blankly at each other while Lydia fills us all in that Peggy (who had dated Jim) had said it was like a big toy or something. We see footage of Peggy talking about how had dated a lot of girls in “Newport” (Beach)… Alexis immodestly confirms Jim wears a size 13 or 14 shoe. They make comments about whether or not there’s any truth that the size of a man’s shoe actually correlates to the size of his umm… appendage. Arm… I’m choosing to believe think that they were talking about the size of his arm. Yep, yep, yep…
Lydia was asked, “Why are you so harsh on your Mom smoking pot when you’re so quick to order a lemon drop?” Lydia responds, “If my Mom was drunk all the time I would have an issue with that as well.” Umm Lydia… the fact that it’s still against the law in California might also be a valid reason, no? Lydia was also asked if she will be open with her kids about her Mom smoking pot. Lydia should have said, “Duh” since it was just on national TV, but instead she says, “The cat’s out of the bag on that one.” Vicki was asked that in light of her own Mom’s intensity, does she think that her Mom could benefit from smoking some weed? Before Vicki even replies, Mr. Stars99 astutely responds, “Well, Ryan could sure benefit from it.” I die… I mean I’m actually on the floor dying from laughing my fool head off… It’s obvious, my poor husband has been subjected to way too much RHOC… Vicki says she’s been told that she herself could benefit from smoking weed but that she has never smoked any nor has she been around anyone who has. She says her Mom is amazing… and no, no weed for Mumsy.
The subject changes to Tamra and her speech. Tamra is asked, “What made you want to open up about your past?” Tamra says that she was originally going to just talk about her divorce. She wants to stop the cycle of pain… I think many of us think that she’s trying to rewrite herself as less of a b*** so we’ll all watch her wedding spin off series…. Or 4 episodes, whatever it is… lol… Do witches change their spots? Leopards can’t… I was just wondering about witches? She talks about how no one knew about her suicide attempt… Not Eddie… Not her son Ryan… Not anyone. She was asked why she never talked about it before. Tamra says she’s not one to talk about stuff… Dr. Gretchen Freud encourages Tamra to continue to talk about this stuff. Tamra says that she feels better after having gotten it out in the open. It’s so easy for Tamra to express her anger but she just can’t express her feelings. She’s experiencing unconditional love from Eddie. She gets all mentascental about it… but I quickly remember Eddie loves Tamra just as long as she takes her shoes off before she enters his house and makes sure to turn off all the lights. Lol… She says that Eddie is very loving towards her and that her family is so mean. Wow… I guess Tamra shouldn’t anticipate getting that invitation to Thanksgiving dinner anytime soon!
Everyone expresses to Tamra they’re sorry she went through that dark time in her life and that she didn’t’ have any friends around her. Alexis was asked if her perspective on Tamra changed after hearing about Tamra’s past. Alexis said that comments she received about Tamra’s apology were kind of 50/50 – Half thought Tamra’s apology was genuine and half didn’t. Alexis said that she heard, “I’m sorry” and that Tamra seemed very genuine to her. Alexis says also that you’re a product of your past. One viewer accuses Tamra of consciously trying to change her image this season and says, “Girl, you’ve been a b*** for six seasons….One speech isn’t changing my mind.” Lol… My thoughts exactly – harsh, but true. Tamra confesses that it’s way easier for her to be a b***… but she’s trying her hardest.
Andy asks the women, if after watching the 100th episode, “Did seeing yourselves over the seasons make you regret any of the plastic surgery.” Tamra says, “Just the hair.” Vicki says this year was a bad hair year for her. I TOTALLY agree. Andy asks her why she had the plastic surgery done RIGHT before production started and Vicki basically said she was told she would heal faster than she did.
Andy wants to know if watching the 100th episode opened any wounds. Tamra and Gretchen? Or with Slade? Gretchen insists that it’s not hard for her to watch Slade with Jo (Slade’s live-in girlfriend/fiancé from Seasons 1 and 2). No one seems to believe that for a minute. Gretchen says it’s because everyone has a past and his was just captured on film. Andy says, “Not even the French maid outfit?” (Of course, he’s referring to when Jo put on a costume and did some ummm dusting for Slade.) Gretchen insists, “I’m a very secure woman” when it comes to her relationship with Slade. Another viewer says, “Is Slade crazy? He’s famous for his financial issues and then he gets you a Rolls Royce!” Gretchen thought it was a very sweet gesture but that she never actually took the Rolls because she just didn’t think it made sense. Yeah, you would have been lambasted for that for sure and I would be one of the first in line to do so… lol!
Gretchen was asked why she had such a problem with Alexis going wedding dress shopping when she didn’t seem to have a problem with her at the salsa party. Gretchen explains that there’s a lot of back story and that Alexis hadn’t been part of anything up to that point of time. She didn’t understand why she would she be invited to such a personal, special day. Tamra tells Gretchen it was because she was trying to make amends and move forward. Gretchen said that up to the day of the wedding shopping event that Tamra was emailing her that she didn’t want Alexis to go shopping with them. Alexis said to Tamra, “So you really didn’t want me there?” Gretchen whips out her folder of email evidence that says basically that Tamra didn’t want Alexis at the wedding shopping event. Tamra said that Gretchen was being such a pain about the whole thing and that she was being difficult – that she just told Gretchen exactly what she thought Gretchen wanted to hear. Tamra confesses that she lied to Gretchen. Gretchen then calls her out on lying to her because Tamra says she doesn’t lie. Tamra screeches that at least she owns it when she lies. She tells Gretchen, “You get pissed off when I talk to Vicki… “You get pissed off when I talk to Alexis…”
Gretchen tells Alexis that she’s the only one who’s been honest to Alexis’ face. Tamra says, “Bring on the tears.” Gretchen quickly obliges. Heather and Vicki said that they’ve both been honest to Alexis. Heather doesn’t want to be lumped into this discussion. “I’ll talk about Heather, too” says Gretchen as she reaches for her pile of evidence. We happened to pause the TV at this moment – and we happened to capture Heather with a great big smile on her face because she knew she was about to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed dimwit. Gretchen threatens Heather with her file folder of texts…
Alexis wonders why she’s here if no one likes her. We all wonder the same thing, Alexis. However, Vicki and Tamra assure her they like her… They really, really like her. Gretchen thinks it’s obvious why she’s confused because Tamra was telling her one thing and yet doing another. Tamra tells Gretchen that it’s f**in’ difficult to be her friend. Evidently, at Alexis’ and Gretchen’s friendship summit, Gretchen showed Tamra’s texts to Alexis… and Alexis subsequently asked Tamra about it. Tamra told her that she was basically just trying to appease Gretchen. Alexis says that Tamra immediately owned saying the stuff that Gretchen is alleging that she said. Gretchen is dumbfounded that Alexis would be okay with it. Or maybe she’s just dumb. (I’m being so mean to Gretchen – I’m just so fed up with her, I guess. I apologize to the Gretchen fans out there.) Alexis tells Gretchen that she and Tamra have moved on. Alexis quoted Tamra as saying that at that point Tamra was so exhausted with Gretchen and said, “I only told her what she wanted to hear – I don’t even want Gretchen to know we’re talking right now.”
Regarding her wedding dress shopping day, Tamra is quoted in an article saying, “Gretchen showing up in a red trench coat with nothing on underneath and her old engagement ring on – She’s just dying for attention – It’s really sad.” Tamra tells Gretchen that when things are going great in other people’s lives that Gretchen does this kind of thing. Tamra asks Gretchen if she remembers what she did when Eddie proposed to Tamra? Gretchen honestly didn’t know. Tamra tells us that Gretchen texted Tamra for the next 4 hours saying how that it should have been Slade proposing to Gretchen. I guess Gretchen is mad that Tamra stole her engagement storyline. A couple of days later, Tamra reads an article in “Page Six” and “Life & Style” that says that Tamra’s proposal was fake and that Eddie was paid by Bravo to propose to Tamra. It seemed like Tamra was blaming Gretchen for that piece of information – and Gretchen never said she didn’t say it. Andy wants to clarify to Tamra and everyone else that no one paid Eddie to propose to Tamra. See, now I would have lost the farm on that bet… lol. Good thing I don’t have a farm.
OHolyNighttheStarsAreBrightlyShining – We’re talking about “Malibu Country” again… KMN! (Kill me now!) There are a lot of different opinions about the canceled, “Malibu Country.” Her Royal Heatherness asks if she can tell the story her own royal way because she’s evidently royally pissed about how Her Heatherness was depicted. She starts out explaining it and basically says that the truth is… Then she interrupts herself long enough to tell Gretchen she can, “Pull all the emails you want… “ lol… Heather continues to explain that there was a part in “Malibu Country”… They wanted a housewife to do a walk on role…” And Gretchen tries to interrupt but Her Royal Heatherness goes on to say, “No one was offered anything… They were just calling to check availability. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I get a phone call from the Executive Producers saying they wanted to write a role for Sara Rue’s friend… and once I said “Yes” to that role they couldn’t have a housewife walk on role anymore.” It turns out that Heather’s anger comes from Gretchen trying to use this situation to hurt Tamra. Heather says to Gretchen, “You can twist and shimmy this all you like… You texted us both that you “gave up this role.” Yadda yadda yadda. Tamra asks Gretchen how much she was going to be paid for the role. Gretchen honestly says that they didn’t get to that part. Vindicated, Tamra says, “Exactly! Therefore there was no real role.” Tamra said to Gretchen, “You said you were filming.”
And, as if a file full of text messages that they’re calling “email” isn’t enough, Gretchen now whips out the actual voicemail from her agent that we’re all going to have to hear. Before she even plays it, Alexis says that she got that very same phone call but that she didn’t get offered a “role.” The voice on Gretchen’s voicemail says, “I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU’RE AVAILABLE FOR ‘MALIBU COUNTRY’”… and Gretchen’s agent mentions a couple of different days it could be. Tamra insists that up to the day before dress shopping that Gretchen was using this “role” as an excuse. Tamra said that she told Gretchen to take the role in the first place. Tamra is also cranky because Gretchen is lying about it. Tamra questions Gretchen about why she even wanted to go dress shopping anyway. Gretchen really couldn’t have seemed less interested and uninvolved because she just stood off away from everyone else in a corner. Plus, the minute Gretchen left the store she evidently started screaming to Slade, “Get me the f*** out of here.” Gretchen tells Tamra that since that part wasn’t filmed, that Tamra can’t prove she actually did it. However, if you notice, Gretchen never said that she didn’t do it… Gretchen just implied that because there wasn’t a recording or a text in a folder about it that Tamra couldn’t actually prove it. Oh, Gretchen, I’m sure there were production people all over the place who would LOVE to testify about this. You just need to sit down and zip it. .
As if any of us really care about this anymore… They continue on about this stupid role on a canceled show… Heather starts to clarify the circumstances surrounding her text message that Gretchen had previously called, “So condensending”… Then Heather, in a very patronizing way, corrects Gretchen that she’s sure she meant, “Condescending” Gretchen launches into how Her Royal Heatherness thinks she’s better than everyone else, etc. – but I really can’t hear exactly what she’s saying because I’m laughing so hard. Heather tells us that she was responding to Gretchen’s original text that said, “Why are they doing this to us? Are they pitting us against each other?” Heather’s text was just explaining the situation and that’s when the, “No, you were called by casting… I was called by the executive producers” text comes into play. Gretchen tells her that she wasn’t called by casting but that she was called by her agent. Heather exasperatingly says, “Well, your agent was called by casting and your agent called you – Same thing.”
Andy asks Gretchen, “Do you consider any of these ladies a friend to you?” Gretchen responds, “Yeah, I consider Lydia a friend and I consider Heather a friend.” And the first words we hear from Lydia for the last 20 minutes were when she raised her cheerleader pom poms and says, “Team Gretchen Couch!!!” Then she adds a meek, “Just kidding.” Lydia totally cracks me up. Gretchen tells us that she would like to be friends with Tamra but that things are weird. Gretchen says that she doesn’t hate Alexis but there are things that happened. No one seems to know why Gretchen stopped being friends with Alexis. Alexis thinks she’s just disposable to Gretchen – That when Gretchen didn’t need Alexis anymore she just disposed of her. Alexis points out that when Lydia first came on the show, Gretchen was really rude to her because she didn’t need her then – but now she does so she’s her friend.
Alexis reminds Gretchen that after Bunko night around 2:00 am that she specifically asked Gretchen how she could be friends with Tamra after all she’s done to her. Alexis said Gretchen’s response was, “Because I’m just scared of her.” Gretchen says she never said that. Okay, now I ask you, who are we going to believe? Especially, since none of us even knew about this particular conversation but concluded that very same thing on our own just by watching the season unfold.
Gretchen still remains in the hot seat and is called out on how she almost apologizes to people. Gretchen tends to say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” rather than a straight, “I’m sorry.” Tamra insists that Tamra is always the first one to say, “I’m sorry.” Gretchen puts her big girl panties on and says that’s she’s hearing what they’re saying and that she will work on it. Whoa. Gretchen continues on by saying that she doesn’t trust Tamra right now because she feels that Tamra says what she thinks people want to hear in the moment but behind the scenes she’s texting and stuff.
In the quick 30 second fake out, Lydia is grilled about not knowing how to work her washer and dryer. It turns out that her maid does all of her laundry. Vicki asks her what she did in college and Lydia said she did her own laundry. But why should she do laundry when she has other more important stuff to do? She knows how… she just doesn’t do it. How many of us think that Heather does her own laundry? Anyone? Anyone? How many of us would gladly give up doing laundry if we had the resources to pay someone else to do it?
Okay, we’re now transitioning to the “Name Calling” portion of our program. Andy says that Alexis started a firestorm with just one word, “bully.’ Cue footage containing clips about every time Alexis talked about the others “bullying” her. Andy is curious about where Alexis is at right now with her use of the term, “bully.” Alexis says that the word doesn’t matter because they’re all in a different place now, and they’re over it. Alexis also doesn’t feel like she’s a victim, as one viewer put it. At this point, Alexis doesn’t want to use one word to describe it the situation. Whether you call it a bully, call it being a mean girl, call it being attacked, or call it being ganged up on… Alexis is just expressing what her feelings were about it at the time. Gretchen said, “But you did put a word on it.” Alexis acknowledges that she did say, “Bully.” As proof, Alexis brings up the situation when Tamra was physically throwing Alexis out of the dinner from hell at CUT Fitness Studio… And Gretchen was applauding wildly about it at a time when Alexis was very hurt by the whole situation. Heather tells Alexis that the whole “bullying” thing was so spun out of control by her and that she perpetuated it in a way that was way worse.
Talking over Heather, Andy asks Alexis if she thought the “terrible three” (Tamra, Gretchen and Heather) had an agenda to do something to her that night. Alexis said that she walked into the party and got cold, cold and cold from everybody. She wanted to be there for her friend. Alexis said she realized that she went to the party as Vicki’s plus 1. She knew the invitation didn’t come directly from Tamra but the first thing she did was to walk up to Tamra and give her a bottle of champagne to congratulate her on her new business. Alexis realizes how hard it is to start a new business.
Gretchen starts rudely talking over Alexis. Alexis asks Gretchen, “Why can’t I be happy for Tamra?” This is all just too confusing to Gretchen. Then, in the classic statement of the night, Alexis says to Gretchen, “Everything’s confusing to you, Gretchen.” Omg… this was just so, so funny coming from Alexis… lol. Alexis goes on to say, “Unless you have a document or a text or a fricken’ email everything’s confusing to you.” Whoa… Alexis continues by calling Gretchen a liar. She then demands that Gretchen tell her what she’s done to her that would warrant losing a friendship over – because there’s not a single piece of footage of Alexis saying or doing anything to Gretchen. She pleads with Gretchen, “Please tell me.” Gretchen says, “Because you’re fake on camera.” Wha…wha… what? That’s it? Wow. There’s some talk about how Gretchen is the one who’s fake on camera. Some of the talk must have come from Vicki, who is seated next to Andy because he asks Vicki, “What do you think Gretchen does that’s fake on camera?” Vicki immediately responds, “Her engagement… If we weren’t filming it wouldn’t have happened.” “Last year Gretchen didn’t want to marry him” says Alexis. Vicki thinks the elaborate engagement was done for TV. Lydia says there’s been a lot of talk about how Gretchen’s storyline was so weak this season that she wanted to do it for that reason. Heather says that it was, “A life moment” and that when you watch it – it just seemed hollow. Gretchen starts blubbering about how they’re all taking away a very special moment to her – And Tamra is quick to say she doesn’t want to do that – because that’s what was done to her. Gretchen was asked when they’re getting married. Gretchen says she is just trying to enjoy the engagement… As Gretchen continues to cry, Heather clarifies that the comments were not about whether or not they should get married… but rather they were about the timing of the proposal.
Heather continues to call it, “A Life Moment” – And that Gretchen said she had her “Nearest and dearest” friends there and none of the housewives were there. Really, Heather? You guys have not been nice at all to Gretchen this season. Plus, every single event that you guys attend end in some big fight of some kind. Could it possibly be that she wanted to control her environment on one of the most important days of her life? Dagnabit… You have me defending Gretchen again….I HATE that! Gretchen brings up some crap about how Tamra was quoted as saying Gretchen is a horrible singer. Tamra said she never said she was a horrible singer. Evidently, Tamra was asked if Gretchen was going to sing at her wedding and Tamra said, “No, Have you heard her sing before?” After I stop laughing I start wishing someone would remind Gretchen that Auto-Tune is her friend. Gretchen comes to the conclusion that everyone else’s idea of friendship is not consistent with her own idea of friendship.
Gretchen was asked if Slade bought her a ring. She tells us that they “went in together” and bought the ring. Their initials are on it… G and S… Mr. Stars99 says that, “B.S.” would be more appropriate. I think he should be writing tonight’s blog…lol. Gretchen starts sobbing as they play footage of her grandiose engagement… But there’s no hint of an actual tear. Tamra walks over and sits on the other couch to console Gretchen. Lydia, Alexis and Vicki just shake their head. Gretchen becomes overly dramatic with the way she’s scrunching her face and trying to sound all sad and stuff. She just can’t believe they would say that her engagement was all made up. She’s very sad. She explains that it took her so long to get to the point where she wanted to become engaged to Slade – and the one thing she couldn’t imagine from the others was that they would say it was all made up. Gretchen was assured that they know they love each other but they just question the timing of the proposal. No one wants to hurt her and everyone is saying their sorry. Gretchen wonders if they knew that it was hard on her that she didn’t want them to be there that night. Heather assures Gretchen that hearing her say that makes them feel better that she wanted them there or that she even thought about them being there.
In a stunning shocker of the night, Gretchen says that the thing that hurts her most was that Alexis wasn’t there – because Alexis had told her she believed that Slade was “The One” from the very beginning. Alexis doesn’t understand how Gretchen can say that right now after the way she’s treated her all season. Alexis starts to cry and has actual tears in her eyes. Alexis says through her tears that she’s truly happy for Gretchen’s engagement and that regardless of everything that she misses the “Gretchen” that was her best friend. Alexis says that her mind is, “Doing spins right now.” I blame it all on that last triple lutz, double toe loop combination jump Gretchen Kerrigan Hamill Witt completed on the ice.
Congratulations, you guys! We’re finished with Part 2 of a 3-Part Reunion! Woo hoo!