Real Housewives of New Jersey
Blogs Blogged by Stars99
These are the remainder of last week’s blogs – my apologies to Stars99 – they somehow slipped through the cracks when I was on vacation. I wasn’t ignoring Kathy, Jacqueline, and Caroline – really I wasn’t. NMD
Kathy Wakile – After talking about being in Missouri, Kathy blogs, “On to the show. I have to just shout out to our JERSEY KIDS, because it sure was THE BEST way to start the episode. No matter what their ages, we can all agree that our kids are the best part of us! Whatever each of our accomplishments are, nothing beats our pride and joys!”
SOME of the kids are the BEST thing about this show. Pay attention, puhleeze!!
“Shopping with Rich… Hmmm, well let’s just say it’s always an experience. I sometimes think he needs a muzzle! Haha! Nevertheless, as much as he gets on my nerves, he’s a keeper. He really likes to see me get fired up, it’s in his nature.”
Only “sometimes” he needs a muzzle? I disagree. Don’t they make permanent muzzles? He was demeaning to you, Kathy, get a clue. And this conversation was about your future business – it’s not funny. Not to me, anyway – and not to the nice people behind the counter who were attempting to answer your questions. He blew any opportunity you had to talk to them about potentially selling your desserts in their store. Tell me, just how was that funny?
“How funny are these manly men? My husband, Chris Laurita, and Joe Gorga going to a cigar bar and…they order salads!? Did anyone else find this and their party planning funny? I had to look twice to make sure I had the volume on and it was the guys talking and not my girlfriends in my kitchen!”
I find it odd that Kathy didn’t mention how her darling husband hoped they were going to a strip club. He’s so charming, isn’t it? Do grown men really still go to strip clubs unless it’s for a bachelor party? I don’t know of any… However, real men do eat salad, Kathy… and they eat quiche… and carry our purses when necessary… and operate the TV remote control when their darling wives are blogging a Real Housewife show… allegedly and stuff.
“With Caroline living in Hoboken, it gave me a chance to get out of our NJ neighborhood and meet up woman to woman, walk and talk, and vent out some feelings I had that I knew she understood on some level.”
Really? Caroline has NO idea what you’re going through. She is not starting her own business… And her husband isn’t a cling-on but instead he stays away from the house out of choice… Caroline can only dream that her husband would want to be around her like yours does with you.
“When I got married my role was defined, and now years later that definition is changing. Change is always hard for anyone to accept, especially for two people who have been married for 22 years. Rich believes he is helping me, but I need to remember to really try to communicate what I want and need from him and not assume that he knows. Stay tuned and see what happens next. I’ll give you a hint: he is a good listener!”
So does this mean you have an actual storyline coming up? Oh, and by the way, let the record reflect… I don’t want to see or hear anything more from your creepy husband…EVER! He needs to sit down and zip it. I would have KILLED him in the grocery store… Seriously… I know some very creative uses for cannoli… Don’t piss me off in a dessert aisle… Consider this fair warning…
Jacqueline Laurita – “Every time Chris and I have to go over night somewhere away from the kids, we always make sure we greet CJ first before we greet Nicholas upon arriving back home. CJ usually meets us in the garage or at the door. Nicholas is younger and demands more attention, so we like to have alone time with CJ first and give him his time alone with us, before we cater to Nicholas, because it is harder for Nick to break away from us once he sees us.”
Wow, I don’t even hate you for doing that… Who would have thought I would agree with how you do something? But you’ve given me nothing to snark about, dagnabit!
“Once I got home, my husband told me about Joe Gorga’s plan for us all to go away with them for Melissa’s birthday. I wasn’t sure if she would like that idea so much, but my husband loved the idea about going on that trip together. He wanted us to get away together. I just got back from being away, so I wasn’t thrilled about going away again. I was sure it would be fun, but it was for Melissa’s Birthday AND my husband definitely deserved it, so we agreed to go.”
Plus, the fact that you missed the fireworks on the last Bravo trip weighed in on the decision, I’m sure. Okay, I was just about to say something really snarky but I refrained… But it’s only because it would have involved an innocent child… yet she HAS used him as an excuse every other time… no? Surprisingly, there was no “Crapfesto” this week… She was very brief in her blog. Whew…
Caroline Manzo – “I watched the episode earlier on in the week and my memory is a little foggy, so forgive me if I leave anything out.”
That’s only because there wasn’t anything memorable in the episode at all. Plus, the episode included your kids – and we’d ALL love to forget those scenes.
“Jacqueline looked amazing when she returned from California. I think she’s bionic. With the exception of some bruising on her neck, you would never have guessed she had any surgery at all. I want to know her secret, I’d bottle it and sell it.”
I’m kind of shocked Jac isn’t crediting “Black Water” for her quick recovery… Oh wait, she only uses that as a cure for autism, allegedly.
“Lauren and Vito are a great couple, and they’re still going strong after four years of dating. I often tell Lauren that she can be a little harsh on her delivery at times. I know the pot is calling the kettle black right now, but I’m a Virgo, that’s in my make up! All kidding aside, they adore each other and I have a suspicion that an engagement ring may be in her very near future, don’t say I told you! If you do, I’ll deny it, you didn’t hear it from me! Vito is a wonderful guy and Al and I are very happy to have him as part of our family. As a parent you wish for your children to find someone that loves them completely and unconditionally, and I think Lauren has found that with Vito.”
Vito, you seem like a fine, upstanding young man. GET OUT NOW! RUN, VITO RUN!
“Hoboken has turned into a home away from home for everyone, and you obviously saw how comfortable my kids have made themselves in my apartment. You know what? We love it. Al and I have an extraordinary relationship with our kids, and truth be told, we aren’t looking to push them out of our lives. We see them often and still manage to have time to ourselves — don’t fix what ain’t broken, folks.”
Some of your little birdies tried to leave the nest but you just moved your nest to a neighboring tree. Plus, how could they possibly have a chance getting out of the nest with your sharp talons clamped so solidly around their dependent widdle necks? By the way, Caroline, I think that’s what they call a “Freudian Slip” when you said, “My apartment” and not “Our apartment.” Oopsie! You musta forgot you’ve been telling us it’s yours and Al’s apartment… I know, it’s just so danged hard to keep all the lies straight.
Well, that’s all they wrote, folks! Happy trails!
Real Housewives of Orange County – Reunion Part 3
This is the third part of the reunion, and Vicki is apparently “done” with Bravo. One strange thing happened on twitter – Jeana Keough – tweeted the following to Vicki Gunvalson yesterday:
“@vgunvalson Had a great time with you and Brooks last night, and your grandson is so cute….”
So this means two things – Jeana and Vicki are still socializing, and Vicki and Brooks are still (inexplicably) together.
It’s a little strange because I thought Vicki would be done with Brooks after all the allegations against him emerged, including audio of a conversation he had with Ryan talking about how he was going to kick Vicki’s ass. But as long as Vicki’s love tank is full it appears she doesn’t care.
The other part that makes it strange was that I didn’t realize Vicki and Jeana were still friendly, especially after the Lauri Peterson / email drama. Jeana basically called Vicki a liar on twitter last week – tweeting:
Le’s face it – it’s highly likely Vicki will never quit RH or Brooks – she’s just a little crazy like that.
Miami is also on tonight, and we’ll get to see the ladies try to impress us with their drama. It’s early in the season and they have plenty of time to bring it.