Tamra wants a Wedding but Does she want a Marriage Part Deux by NMD
Tamra has always wanted a fancy dancy wedding. This time she has a sucker who is so not interested in the details of the wedding, she can get everything her way. She’s also suckered Bravo into paying for it. She’s decided to hold it at the St. Regis, which should smooth over her rough edges. If the venue and food are spectacular, guests may not care if she has a swinging cake with the tier sliding off, or tacky bridesmaid dresses.
Okay – first up in the search for bridesmaid dresses. Tamra’s left it to the last minute, and will have to pick off the rack. She piles her ladies and man of honor into a limo and they head off to a store she found on the internet. We learn that Vicki has decided she’s rather watch paint dry than be involved in this scene – but Heather is playing along. Heather is a professional actress, and interviews that she’s have figured out the color schemes by then, but hey – it’s okay to be scatter brained and do things at the last minute if you’re planning a huge wedding for Bravo – she’d just never do it that way.
The limo pulls up to the store and they all gasp. Even I gasped. It looked like the lost world of mannequins with tacky dresses. I would have thought it was right up Tamra’s alley. That makes her call her wedding planner in dismay, who assures her she’s got her back.
(Note from NMD – I must have dozed off – because when I read Tamra’s blog she mentioned something about getting Vera Wang dresses and I missed that part. I also thankfully missed anything to do with Gretchen or waxing. Phew).
Another theme was the food. This time Eddie is along for the ride, because apparently he has a pallet. That’s good because all Tamra can do is giggle when she’s served black cod. She makes lewd, unfunny attempts at jokes. Black cod, black co##. Ooookay – I sorta get it (not). Enjoy your five star meal and stop acting like a truck driver with tits Tamra. Eddie takes it seriously. I say they are a match made in heaven.
Budget, budget, budget. Tamra hisses at the wedding planner to say two words – “under budget.” Eddie asks in a disinterested way (since he isn’t paying for the wedding, why would he care) how they are doing on budget. Wedding planner lady (who is the most interesting thing on the show) mumbles something, and then promises to get back to him. Tamra tries to look worried, but she’s such a bad actress and has had too much botox, so it’s hard.
Next up is what I can only assume is fake drama. Eddie finds out that Alexis and Jim are invited, and throws a sort of hissy fit. He says it’s them or him. Tamra is conflicted. Her Bravo fake friend that she’s just made up with and is contractually obliged to include in the wedding, or her fake husband who she is contractually obliged to marry. It’s a cliff hanger. This was Alexis’s response to the humiliating scene: “Ok…watching @TamraBarney #tamrasocwedding. All it takes is honesty! If I’m not wanted there- then TELL ME!! Trust me- I have plenty to do!”
Finally is the scene they’ve been playing in the previews where we learn that Tamra’s family is completely dysfunctional, but thankfully Eddie’s grandma can’t understand English. Tamra’s divorced parents, their buddies, and her two brothers and their wives/partners all show up. We hear from the talking heads that one of Tamra’s brother’s is an ass. He arrives late and passes around the moonshine in a jar. She’s aghast because she’s pretending to be classy for Eddie’s family. Perhaps they don’t have television and her ruse will work. Her brother makes a joke about Eddie – calling him a sucker. Eddie cracks up and Tamra gets all scrunchy faced. Her brother calls her old and worn hard. She’s not amused.
But perhaps the worst part is when she overhears her dad talking about how she was always difficult, and then the brother chimes in. (She says in her blog her parents were 16 when they had her – what do they know about difficult babies – they were kids themselves.) The brother has issues with her and starts to say nasty things. She turns to Eddie’s family and tells them no one ever said “I love you” to her when she was growing up. Drunk brother gets mad and starts yelling about how awful she is. Tamra screams f-u to her family (including her parents), and runs out of the room to sob into her pillow. Dad runs after her. Brother comforts mom, and Eddie stays to support mom and the brother, leaving Tamra to sob in daddy’s arms. Just an average rehearsal dinner.
I’m glad this is a three-parter, because it’s torture. It’s absolutely clear that Tamra wanted a on-TV romantic proposal (and paid for trip) and televised wedding. It’s not clear if either the bride or groom want to be married. I’ve got to assume that if they went into business together, at least some of their relationship is real. Goooood luck to them is all I’ve got to say. They seem to be entering into a legal relationship for all the wrong reasons.
And here are two photos from Bravo’s website from her past weddings.
Happy Birthday Jillz and MaryLa