Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 1 by NMD
Andy starts off with Teresa’s legal issues. First stupid question – were her castmates surprised by the charges? They all look astonished he’d even ask, and give solid, neutral answers.
Next up is Caroline. Andy says that her behavior was awful last year – how does she feel? Wowza. She says she deserves a pat on the back for recognizing it and changing her attitude. Teresa says – it doesn’t matter how old you are (the look on Caro’s face was priceless) you can still see yourself on TV and change your ways. Shockingly, Caro smiles and agrees.
A montage of Caro and the “experiment” in Hoboken. She says she’s back in Franklin Lakes. Does anyone else think that she and Al separated for a while? She’s asked about Al saying STFU to her. She says – do I look like someone that would be abused? and completely avoids the question. Andy admits he’s scared of her. Then she clarifies the cheating rumors. She says that they are old (early 50s) and they’d be stupid to think the other didn’t cheat. Anyone who’s been married that long is stupid to think their partner hasn’t cheated at some point. Color me stupid then. Then Andy follows up by asking what Al said when she asked him if he cheated. She says Al introduces her to his baby mamas. The look on Andy’s face – LOL. Then she laughs and says no. Again – ducking the question. Who’s Jill Caroline?
Andy then softballs it by asking the other ladies about their husbands – well Joe and Joey. I suppose no one cares if Richie cheats. Melissa says she wouldn’t put up with Joey cheating. Teresa says she doesn’t think Joe cheats. Andy asks Jaq what she thinks and Jaq said she was out of line last reunion, and is not saying a word tonight. She didn’t apologize – but at least she stopped talking.
Back to Caro – this time the question is about Dina. She refuses to talk about it. She says airing their dirty laundry completely ruined Tree and Melissa’s relationship. Then Andy asks the obvious follow up – if she feels that way – does she feel Melissa made a mistake joining the show. She says no. Then she insults both of them by saying they are very similar, and lists a few examples. Teresa sits there and doesn’t show a reaction, but Melissa says that bothers her – and they aren’t that similar.
And with that we’re at the first commercial – and it is crystal clear none of them are “going there” tonight. Yeah!
Melissa is up next. She’s asked about autotune and that leaked video. She defends it saying it wasn’t real – there were no backup singers and there was a commercial in the background. She explains that they pulled the video. She says everyone assumes the housewives are autotuned – and trails off. She looks pissed. Then up next is her book. She’s asked about her dad’s infidelity. She claims the infidelity isn’t in the book – just his absence (it is). Teresa said that it was strange hearing about it for the first time on TV. Melissa says she never had that sort of relationship with Tree. Tree says – it was weird. Melissa says it was her decision to keep it private, it isn’t really anybody’s business. Tree points out that she shared it with four million people. Melissa looks mad. Then they bicker about mind numbing stuff like who they had with them on their covers – silly digs.
Now more on Melissa – she says Jan brought up allegations because she didn’t put Jan’s salon on the show. She claims Jan told her to watch her back around Tree and Kim. Jan was just trying to get attention – blah blah blah. Melissa is just blowing off all the questions with excuses. Andy manages to get the ladies bickering about leaking stories to the press. Teresa said she heard a rumor that is Melissa has a deal with Radaronline to leak stuff to them so that they don’t pick up stories about her. (Teresa heard it from a blogger.) She points out the video story didn’t make it to Radaronline. They go back and forth about not assuming things – and asking each other instead. I’m getting bored. Caroline puts up her hand and says “who cares.” And with that – another commercial. Phew. No knockout blows thrown yet.
A question for Kathy about the cannolis. I had forgotten she was there. 25 minutes without a peep. They show a montage – ending with the sign falling down. As it ends, Jaq says – “oh was that Kathy’s scene – I wasn’t paying attention.” Kathy looks mad. Andy has to explain that Jaq was joking. Oh vey. Kathy says something – I wasn’t paying attention. Teresa is asked about the “they are edible” comment and says she just answered a question that was asked. Now on to Richie and his disgusting behavior on twitter. Of course she defends it. End of Kathy’s segment.
Jacqueline is asked about Ashlee moving back home. She confirms this. Now on to the Jaq montage. Back to the reunion and she and Caroline are crying a little. Andy asked about people saying Jaq is exploiting Nick. She says she’s raising awareness. Melissa jumps in to talk about all the mean people there are in the world. (She must be talking about Richie and her sisters.) Jaq is outed as the housewife with the most plastic surgeries. Andy asks if Dina has reached out since the diagnosis. Jaq looks at Caro before she dodges the answer. That was strange.
Back from the commercial – and both Joes are on the couches.
Andy asks about selling the house. Melissa says they did well. When she’s asked about why they moved when they’ve made up with Teresa, she says that’s not the only reason they were moving – they wanted to move back to Franklin Lakes. She can’t keep her stories straight. Now we’re treated to a montage about their relationship. Joe is staring off to the side through the whole segment.
Melissa says that Teresa should have flipped a table when people were telling her that Melissa was giving someone a blow job in the parking lot. Teresa bring up how Melissa’s sisters trash her on twitter. Melissa says she can’t control them – yet Teresa is supposed to control Kim and Penny. Huh?
Teresa says they are trying to get together. Melissa says she tried – and called five times. Apparently they didn’t get together even once in the summer. Teresa says that Joey gets angry – and she doesn’t like getting together with her. Joey says he’s accused of being a maniac – and Teresa says she isn’t trying to take him down. Joe is still staring off into space.
Rosie comes in. Joe breaks into a HUGE smile. Rosie is asked about her rage issues. Teresa defends her – and says she gets it out of her system – like Teresa does. Andy calls her on that and says she holds grudges. She says she’s learned not to. He says – when –in the last half hour – heh. She tilts her head and says “come on.” End of segment.
Montage of Rosie and Joe happy time, ending with the eggs segment. Apparently they were drunk. That explains it. Everyone agrees they are a great couple, and Joe smiles and says they always get along great. Joe is asked how come he gets along with Rosie when he hates gay people. Joe and Tree then start talking about being friends with a gay couple, Tree hangs out with the girl and Joe hang out with boy. Andy is completely confused. Then they have to defend calling a gay man a girl. Finally Rosie gets them to shut up – thankfully. Oh – Joe says he made one little remark and Danielle blew it out of proportion. Revisionist history –but whatever. It’s clear he loves Rosie. Sometimes all this political correctness just gets to me.
Funny between commercial break with Joe’s stomach rumbling, and he asks to go to the bathroom. Melissa’s face is all scrunched up. Instead of letting him go – they ask for immodium. He chugs it. Cut to sounds of his stomach rumbling. Give the man a potty break.
Rosie is asked about the retreat. As she explains why she helped Tree set it up, Tree is nodding. It’s clear that Tree and Rosie are in a good place by their body language. A montage of the “black tar” fight. “He’s biting my nuts,” gets me every time. Melissa and Joey are shown saying awful things – such as “I’m not a scumbag like him going to f**ing jail.” Joey says it was the best thing that ever happened – it made him realize that he loved the guy. Andy asks the question we all want to know – did he bite Joe in the nuts. Joey admits to squeezing them. Teresa asks why it had to get to physical violence. Rosie jumps in and says it had to happen that way. Teresa explains – but god forbid one of them hits their head. True that – just ask Johnny the Greek. Remember the charges hadn’t been dropped at this time.
Speaking of squeezing – Kathy is asked about the pig of her husband squeezing Rosie’s breasts. She defends him. Pig. Joey is asked about the hair spray. Joey says he know about if from gay men. Andy says – don’t put that on me.
Teresa is asked about calling Joey pussy whipped, and how is that different from him calling her scum. She apologizes and asks for an apology. He says he doesn’t need to apologize because they are brother and sister – huh? Joe is staring off into space again. Probably worried about his stomach.
More bickering between Teresa and Melissa. Blah blah blah. Melissa bring up the 30 year old pop star dig. Teresa claims it’s a compliment. It wasn’t. Teresa is asked about the threat in her blog – that Melissa is very very lucky that Teresa is keeping quiet about what she knows. Melissa asks if Tree has something on her. She claims she doesn’t – but just said that. Melissa says – then you lied. Teresa says – but I didn’t say anything. (Take not of this – Teresa’s lies will come back again). Rosie jumps in and tells them to be done with it.
Andy asks Joey why he forgave Teresa in the end. Joey says he knows her – knows when she’s lying, knows when she’s in a weird place. But that he knew she was being honest when she started crying so he gave her a hug. But it’s clear that he thinks she’s still out trying to hurt Melissa – and can barely look at her. At least he’s not faking it like the rest of them.
Montage of the final fight. Kathy calling the family of her daughter’s best friend and boyfriend roaches is priceless. They end with Tree saying it’s so f**d up. Andy echos that. Andy asks why Tree is still friends with Kim D. Tree says they are all friends with her. Tree says “who is this girl Penny?” Tree says that Penny played all of us – she tried to put it on me (I knew Penny was a liar). Melissa asked if Teresa encouraged them (look to your left Melissa). Wait – Penny is a liar so she’s probably lying about that as well. Anyway – on and on and on with the Penny thing – trying to blame Teresa for what Penny did. Teresa lays it all out for them – that Penny and Johnny were tweeting crap for two years – didn’t get anywhere with Melissa and Joey – so they turned on Teresa for their 15 minutes. Teresa’s reaction pretty much makes everything Penny has been claiming about the editing a lie. I suspected that. Obviously they were lying because they hated Joey for the fight – – but wait – Teresa lies too – and so does Joey – so it’s hard to figure out the truth with all these liars. I give up.
Now Andy introduces Dr. V. Teresa explains that Dr V made her understand that it’s okay to say sorry – that she wouldn’t be blamed for everything. Andy asks Joey what he thinks Teresa was saying sorry for – and he says everything – thereby confirming that she was right to be afraid. They talk about confronting Penny – which was apparently a turning point. Not really because of the messed up timing. Now Dr. V. says she’s worried about Joey’s anger. He needs special therapy. He is really defensive and says he’s been labeled that way. NO JOEY – you need help. He says he doesn’t need help. He says he’s fine. She calls Melissa out for her behavior getting angry at Joey. Melissa gets really defensive. Teresa looks comfortable. Andy points out the pattern of violence. Joey turns to Rosie and says “these people think I’m a f**ing maniac.” Yup. We all do. Rosie is probably about the only one who doesn’t think that.
Dr. V. says she wants to hear from the group.
Caroline goes first. She says she wants truth from them – that Melissa and Teresa haven’t shown truth – or vulnerability. Teresa says she’s shown that this season. Teresa is defensive. She doesn’t get what Caroline means – and wants it explained. Now Caroline calls Teresa out on her blog about saying that Caroline and Al were fighting the entire time. She asks Teresa why she said that? Teresa said she heard it. Caroline says it’s a lie – and instead of addressing what was bothering Teresa – Teresa decided to brand Caroline with a lie. Wowza – I knew Teresa was pissed when she wrote that blog and it would end up biting her in the butt. It wasn’t about lifting the horse’s leg. It was NEVER about that horse’s leg. In real time – that blog was written about a day before they shot the reunion. Dr. V. helps Teresa say that it was shitty of her to say that about Caroline.
Now Melissa jumps in and says to Caroline that does she understand why it hurts her to hear that Caroline says that she and Teresa are the same person, because she reacted to that situation in a very different way. Caroline agrees that Melissa would never have lashed out and lied like Teresa did. Teresa gets defensive again, and now Kathy yells at her about how she shouldn’t react right away and lash out. I think Rosie is yelling too. To Teresa’s credit, she just takes it – but she basically admitted she made up that thing about Al and Caroline just to get back at them.
So to recap – Andy was SHUT DOWN through most of the reunion and found himself unable to get a rise out of anyone. Teresa was outed as a blatant liar – which does not bode well for her upcoming trial. Joey sees nothing wrong with his out of control temper. Melissa looks like she’s done with everyone – including Joey. Jacqueline might have been on something – she was way too happy and calm. Kathy who? Penny and Johnny are liars – about something – I’m just not sure what. And Caroline behaved relatively well – for Caroline.
I think this was the best reunion of the bunch. Let’s hope next week continues to deliver.
The Amazing Race 23 – Zip It, Bingo
- Jason and Amy – Dating
- Chester and Ephraim – NFL
- Leo and Jamal – Afghanimals (Cousins from Afghanistan)
- Rowan and Shane – Queens (of Bingo) – Don’t hate the messenger here..
Hoskote and Naina – Father and daughter– Eliminated leg 1
- Ally and Ashley – Ice girls (LA Kings Ice Crew)
- Brandon and Adam – Hippies
- Nicole and Travis – ER Doctors (married)
- Tim and Danny – Okies (from Oklahoma)
- Tim and Marie – Divorced (two of the most annoying people on the planet)
- Nicole and Kim – Baseball wives (married to MLB players)
- And of course, Phil Keoghan – The host or just, Phil
Welcome back folks. I hope this finds you all well after last night’s crapfest. I still can’t believe we watch that garbage but I can tell you nothing has changed for me with those horse’s asses.. Oh, Wait a minute, Wrong show.. Pardon, my bad, I’m recapping The Amazing Race here not, Crapfest 2013 (though I’ll say it was cool hearing our Plainviewsue’s name on WWHL 🙂 ).
Here we go with the right show. The list above shows the cast and as we progress, the eliminated team’s names, will be struck out. Last week it was the father daughter team due in part to the fact that someone, couldn’t read instructions. That same mistake cost the ER doctors the first place finish as well as the coveted Express Passes.
This leg begins at 2:23am when the teams begin to leave in the order they arrived at the pit stop. They are to find their way to this boat where they will meet up with the guy who will point them to their first clue. The annoying divorced couple leaves first, followed by the ER doctors (I heard they are from another show somewhere and not virgin reality show people). The next team to leave is the Bingo Queens.. NFL leaves next as Divorced gets to the boat. Guess what kiddies, This is another of those equalizing starts where they all have to wait for the guy they are suppose to meet up with. Who didn’t see that coming? Raise your hand… Remember I said (if you read it) in the last recap that it rarely matters who gets to the finish mat after the first ones and before the last ones, and in what order? This is why. They have to wait for the officer of the day until 7:15am.. Let’s get the rest of the teams there so y0u have some idea how they finished the last leg. MLB wives leave next followed by the Ice girls. They are followed by their race husbands, the Afghanimals.. ER meets up with divorced and starts asking them what they are going to do with the extra express pass. ER Nicole turns 40 today.. It’s her birthday and she wants a gift- wink wink.. Of course Marie couldn’t care less. Dating is next to leave followed by Okies and finally, the hippies.
So, they are all there to meet the officer of the day and Marie is dictating how everyone has to line up to get the next clue. I would have thrown her into the water and I suspect before this race ended, somebody does. She clearly thought that everyone should follow her rules but when 7:15 came, the race was on.. Did she forget she was in a race and does she really think she gets to dictate how it should be run? I can’t stand this woman already. Her nutless ex husband isn’t much higher on my scale. Anyway, shocker of shockers, they all get to the clue at the same time. What they have to do is find a famous phrase given the clue they were given, and repeat it, in Spanish, to the officer of the day. The phrase is “Charge The Ship, Men”.. Ice girls and Hippies find some guy on the street that tells them what they are looking for… Hippies get to the OoTD first and tell him, he hands them the next clue.. Where is Marie with her I’m going to be first BS? Who knows, who cares. The clue they are given tells them to go to the Irlanda Salt Mine and look for the next clue..
The hippies are out of there first followed by the Ice girls.. (I’m liking these two teams). The clue they find at the salt mine is a detour. Mining or Brining. Brining requires them to dump enough salt into a tub of water so that they can both float and read the local paper. When they do that, they get their next clue (I suspect, in the paper).. Somehow I don’t think this is easy as it may sound. Mining requires them to break apart salt boulders to find a hidden clue. First though, they have to ride bikes across the flats to get to the salt mine. Hippies and NHL (the Ice Girls) are the first to arrive and both chose Mining. ER gets there next and they choose Brining. What could be better than a relaxing salt bath on your birthday? NFL understands it’s going to take a lot of salt to make their combined 500+ pounds float so they also chose mining. Poor Bingo queens are stuck with a cab driver who doesn’t know where he’s going. Can’t find the salt mine. Where is Divorced? Who knows, Who cares? Afghanimals have also arrived and chose mining. Queens stop for directions and for now, we are to believe that the cabbie gets it.
The bike ride to this mine is apparently pretty brutal for some. NHL, ER, and Dating are on their way but ER Nicole is struggling. She can’t ride a mountain bike. Dating Amy struggled on the bike a little as well but she didn’t fall off like Nicole did. NFL made pretty short work of the bike ride but all 3 teams do get to where they are going. When they get to the mining site, NFL, the others get nervous because they can probably just bit through the rocks. This is hard physical labor and the ice girls are having trouble with it so they decide to switch to brining. I think Dating chose that one as well. Still no Divorced couple.. What happened? Did she try and tell the cab driver how to do his job and he told them to get out and walk? I sure hope so. The bags of salt that ER, Dating, and Ice Girls must carry weigh 60 pounds each.. Over at the mine, NFL is just picking up the boulders and smashing them on the ground.. Hippies manage to break open the one they were working on and are the first to get the clue. Bingo queens are hopelessly lost as I don’t think their driver still has a clue. The clue in the rock tells them to go back to where they started the day and get on a bus for a 1000 mile ride to Santiago, Chile, the capitol. When they get there, they have to get to Plaza De Amas to find the next clue (betting it’s a roadblock)
Finally, Baseball, Okies, and (dammit) Divorced gets to the clue box that tells them what they will be doing next. Okies chose brining and so did Divorced.
The people who chose Brining have to do it in their bathing suits or so I thought. Some are running around barefoot. Divorced shows up and I have to admit, this woman is a bit of an animal when it comes to carrying and tossing those 60 pound bags of salt. Baseball wives also chose that task. Afghanimals and NHL find their clues in their rocks and are on their way back to their taxi cabs when the queens Finally arrive. It doesn’t look good for these two especially the heavy set one (don’t know which is which) is in for a long ride to that salt mine. They chose to do the mining. I don’t think this is going to end well for them.
Hippies get to the bus station to purchase their tickets and it is a 24 hour ride to Santiago on a bus that leaves at 1:30pm.. Is it the only one? I don’t know yet. Back at the mines, Marie hasn’t figured out that this mixture of salt water has to be stirred. She’s once again bitching at her ex and Ice Girls have heard enough of her mouth (so have I). Meanwhile, Dating finishes this task first followed by Divorced (dammit) followed by the ice girls. Meanwhile back on the trail to the mine, fat dude, is having a conniption because his partner is asking if he’s okay. You see even talking gets this guy winded. Hippies, Afghan, and NHL are all at the bus station.
Meanwhile, Baseball wives are struggling, again, with this task. Why did they sign up to do this? They seem way too pampered to take something like this on. The queens Finally get done with the bike ride and they did choose mining. Okies get done with the brining task and are on their way. Dating is at the bus station and they have their tickets for the 1:30 bus. Guess what kids? They got the last one…
Go ahead.. Laugh.. I’ll wait because the next ones to ask, were the divorced couple… Take THAT Marie.. There is a 2pm buss that is a 28 hour ride.. The first 5 teams got the express, the second 4 got the coach treatment. Lot’s of stops. Notice I said 4.. Eventually the queens did show up and tried to book another bus. Now I heard the guy say that it leaves at 4pm. The second bus, remember gets in at 6pm in Santiago. This pair of dumbasses thought the guy said their bus gets in at 4pm to Santiago. Now both the first two buses were on time to leave, without this pair of morons. They go to ask the ticket agent what’s up and learn that their bus won’t leave for 3 hours. Yep, he said 3 hours. Somebody cannot do their arithmetic. I think they got the new guy at the ticket window because Thier bus, doesn’t arrive until 10pm the following evening….. Dumbasses… It isn’t over til it’s over though. Notice each bus is a progressively longer trip.. This third bus will take 30 hours.. IF it’s on time. It is probably pulled by a team of donkeys and is actually the farm animal transportation. They do manage to get a somewhat earlier bus.
Let’s get to Santiago. We are shown bus number one arrived in Santiago and the 5 team race is on. They get to the Plaza De Amas and find the clue box. Yep, it’s a roadblock. Who’s got the knack, to pack. What they have to do is at a portable shoe shine stand, shine shoes, then pack up this stand which is a bit of a puzzle, then push it 6 blocks to the central depot storage area where they will get their next clue.
I can’t catch a good picture of these stands so you will have to watch if you want to see them. Afghan notes that the clue says to take everything that was there. Will this come into play? We’ll see. It looks like a giant CF to pack this cart and roll it along the sidewalk. Meanwhile, on the 2nd bus, Baseball wives are talking to divorced Tim and it turns out, he played minor league baseball with one of their husbands. Groan… The two teams form an alliance and Marie says she wants to give them the express pass (but doesn’t, yet).
Afghan is the first to arrive at the storage depot but guess what kids.. His cart isn’t packed righ. He just threw it all on their and the check in guy says go do it right and then come back. This ‘puzzle’ is going to be someone’s undoing.. Lets not forget, this is daylight, and queens may not be there until it’s dark. Who gets their shoes shined in the night time? NFL had it right the first time, Afghan is sent on his way, ER Nicole appears to be lost.
The first 5 teams are on the way and Afghan gets there first. Just one problem. They didn’t give the cab driver enough money so they have to pay him off first. Phil sends them back to do that. NFL is the second to get to the mat for the pit stop, giving them first place because the first two idiots didn’t pay their bill. They won a trip.. Congrats guys. Meanwhile, on that third bus, the queens say that they are running the race, it isn’t running them. Yeah, okay fellas, we’ll go with that. Afghan checkd in again at the mat after paying the driver the additional 10,000 pecos owed, Phil asks what happened and these two cry babies start bickering. ANBGTFT. Next.. Hippies check in followed by ER and then Divorced.
Now it’s night time and the 2nd bus arrives in Santiago.. Not too far behind that one the third bus arrives. The others are already shining shoes.. This is a race not to be last. Bingo caught up to the other teams and Marie just can’t stand it.. I’m loving it because not only does she have a crap attitude, she cannot shine shoes to her customer’s satisfaction. Now, there were specific Marked shoe shine stands they were supposed to use with waiting customers which answers my earlier question. As Mr IGetWindedWhenITalk is looking for a stand, he picks any old one. Not the right one he is suppose to use but one that belongs to some local who does this for his job. Got that? This dumbass took some guy’s livelihood for this game. I just can’t.. The other 4 teams finish and are on their way to the storage depot, yes, Marie too. Baseball wife who thinks Marie is going to give her an express pass, leaves the carpet behind that the stand rests on… “please don’t forget anything”.. Good gawsh are these people ever stupid. I cannot believe it.. That guy let the queen take his shoe shine stand to finish this part of the leg. He even packed it for him… Barring some of the stupidest shit luck ever on this game, The Bingo queens have GOT to be Done.
So, who is out? Well, let’s get this out of the way first. (I’m trying real hard here) Marie has it in her skull that she gets to tell others how to run the race, who to talk to and not to talk to. None of the teams had their carts packed right and had to fix something. Okies and Ice girls get out of their first and that’s the order they checked in. Meanwhile Bingo Rowan shows up with the guy he hijacked to check in and he has to go back and do the whole thing over with the proper cart. While he was pleading with his kidnap victim not to leave, Marie is once again running her pie hole (and I am sure the stench was horrendous), Rowan tells guy not to listen to her because she is Diablo. Baseball has to go back for her carpet but she wants that express pass and asks for it. She is refused. Nothing to offer Diablo for it. In Diablo’s cab, she is, OMG, offended by being called the devil. Her Ex agrees with that sentiment. Her response to Rowan is today’s title, Zip It, Bingo.
Because Rowan had to do the whole thing over, by himself this time (has he ever seen this game?) And Baseball wife had to find where she left her rug, it was a close heat to not be last. Divorced checked in at number 8. Baseball wives checked in at number 9. I could have saved a whole bunch of time here because, the Bingo Queens have been eliminated. Due to the mistakes of talkingmakesmewinded, Rowan.
That’s all folks, See you next week. MTH.
We have a whole lotta shows starting up in the fall. If anyone is interested in blogging any of the shows on the list – or any I may have forgotten, please let me know. We’ve bot Beverly Hills (show and blog) covered by BB and Stars99 and RamonaCoaster will be doing the ATL blogs. The Empress will be covering Walking Dead on her blog. We’re looking for bloggers for the following:
- Real Housewives of Atlanta
- Vanderpump Rules
- Top Chef (already started)
- Shahs of Sunset
Email me – firstname.lastname@example.org if you are interested