Real Housewives of Miami – S3Ep 10
“Brazilian Bridezilla” – by HydrangeaHussy
So, we all know by now that ratings for Miami have been dismal. I think Bravo is hoping that Adriana’s wedding will turn things around. (It didn’t. NJ didn’t provide a strong leadin – and ratings climbed slightly to 866,000 from 800,000 the week before – still weak enough to lead to cancellation. NMD) Based on what I’ve seen from Adriana this season, I’m thinking that it won’t. I just can’t get into Adriana’s wedding. She’s obnoxious & rude, this is her third wedding, & she’s been married to the groom for years! It should be interesting to see Lisa & Marysol as bridesmaids after their blow-out last week.
This week begins with a compilation of the issues faced by Adriana on her wedding day. Rewinding 24 hours we find Adriana freaking out about her son’s shoes. She is sooo stressed about her wedding that she needs a B-12 shot, which Frederic must administer. She points out all of the things that must be done before the wedding. She hasn’t even had time to get a bikini wax! How has she not picked up her dress at this point? Doesn’t she have a wedding planner to handle the flowers, etc?
Alexia is at the beach relaxing. I’m surprised that Adriana isn’t on the phone barking out orders to her bridesmaid! Lea, Joanna & Lisa arrive. Lisa tells us that Lea & Joanna were not invited to the wedding. The talk inevitably turns to the confrontation between Marysol & Lea at Alexia’s party. Alexia asks if Lea thinks that Marysol could have been trying to explain her feelings, which Lea quickly dismisses. It’s pretty obvious whose side Alexia is on. Lea points out what I noticed about Marysol in past seasons, she has a victim mentality. I think that this season she’s gone too far in the other direction. Lisa says that she was involved in the argument because Marysol interrupted her conversation with Lea. Joanna notes a change in Lisa. She’s become more outgoing & confrontational. Alexia keeps explaining Marysol’s side & Lea finally tells her to mind her own business. Alexia says that she isn’t defending Marysol, but she clearly is.
It’s the day of the wedding! Adriana tells us that her wedding starts at 6pm “on the dot.” She is in a suite at the hotel where the reception will be held. The church can be seen from the hotel. Marysol arrives with a huge make-up organizer. Alexia arrives next. She is super stressed & shocked that Adriana hasn’t begun to get prepared. Marysol & Alexia are in the dining area, with a team of hair & makeup getting them ready. Adriana’s sister is the only family that she has in attendance. If this church wedding was so important, why have it in a place where your mother can’t attend? It’s 4:11 & Adriana hasn’t gotten in the shower. I see where this is going… She says that she’s trying to enjoy her day, but I think she’s just a procrastinator.
Lea is spending the day at home with Joanna. Her house is still being remodeled & it is a mess! They go upstairs to Lea’s closet. The closet is large, but a little overdone for me. There’s a lot of glitz. They discuss the wedding, which is a few blocks away. Lea says that she doesn’t see a way for her relationship with Adriana. I don’t either. Adriana is a liar, Lea is possibly a liar. I just don’t see a way for those two to work it out.
As we know, Lisa, Marysol & Alexia are bridesmaids. Lisa arrives at the hotel. She decides to be civil & ignore the tension with Marysol. Marysol decides to move on. The two are getting along. I don’t think that either is sincere, but at least they’re putting aside their fight for Adriana’s big day. Frederic & his parents arrive in the suite to look for his clothes. Adriana comes out wearing a full facial mask & scolds him for seeing her. Is it really bad luck if they’re already married? Adriana has a little breakdown & lies down b/c “everything” is on her! Actually, everything is on the wedding planner & team of staff that are in the suite. All Adriana has to do is sit there while someone else does her hair & makeup. Marysol attempts to get Adriana out of bed. Lisa is astonished that Adriana would keep her 70 guests, who each have two outfits, waiting while she lies around. I am not surprised by her behavior at all! It’s now 5:10.
The men arrive at the church in their white tuxes & Adriana is FINALLY having her makeup put on. The wedding planner arrives & tells Adriana that they need to hurry. The Man of Honor says that the minister will begin the wedding at 6:05, without or without Adriana. Adriana is upset that everyone is stressing her out. Her guests look upset that it’s five minutes after the wedding should begin & nothing is happening. 6:05 comes & goes. It’s now 6:20 pm & Adriana isn’t too worried. At 6:55, Lenny checks with Lisa. Adriana is still finishing her makeup & isn’t dressed yet. Her guests have now been sitting in the church for an hour. If I were a guest, I would have left.
The women see Adriana in her wedding gown. It’s lavender & has lots of sparkle. She kind of looks like she should be on Dancing with the Stars. Seriously, it reminds me of Gretchen’s reunion dress. I would like it a lot more if it was white. The veil is not right & Adriana starts ripping it up. Has she seriously not looked at her veil until one hour after the wedding time? What is wrong with this woman? And where’s the mantilla that they made such a big deal out of? Adriana arrives at the church, apologizing as she comes in. No amount of apologies make it ok for you to leave your guests & groom in the church for an hour. It’s not like there was an emergency that kept her, she was just lounging around & procrastinating!
The wedding begins with the bridesmaids walking to Ave Maria. I love that song! There don’t seem to be many guests, which isn’t really in keeping with a wedding that needs such a big dress & the outfit change. I’ve always thought that you toned down the wedding if it was smaller. Marysol points out what a special day it is for Adriana, Frederic & Alex. Adriana has waited a long time for this wedding. Actually, she only waited for the wedding, not the marriage. Just as Adriana requested, everyone is in white. She is walked down the aisle by her son. Adriana tells us how lucky she feels to have found a man who gets her & loves her for who she is. In a random note, did anyone else notice that Adriana’s ring was on the wrong hand? There’s the mantilla! Marysol tears up that her mother isn’t there to share this day with Adriana.
Deep in their heart, the commitment is there now. I thought the commitment was there when they legally bound themselves together years ago. Despite all of my cynicism, Adriana & Frederic seem happy & very much in love. I wish them the best!
On to the reception & some drama between Lisa & Marysol! It takes Adriana a full minute to get her dress out of the car. The girls are back in the suit getting ready for the reception, which is slated to begin at 9:00. I don’t know about you, but I would want to spend some time with my new husband after the wedding, not spend more time with hair & makeup. Just as Alex said, there are guests changing in their cars. It’s 10:09 & the girls aren’t ready. Lisa is trying to hurry people up, but Marysol & Alexia haven’t even begun to get ready.
True to pot stirrer form, Alexia chooses that moment to bring up the argument between Lisa & Marysol. She just can’t let a party go to waste! Lisa quickly shuts her down & tells her that this is a wedding, not the place to get into this. But Marysol keeps going with it. She won’t let anyone walk away from a fight this season! Lisa says that she thought the whole thing was out of character for Marysol. In her TH, Marysol says that to assume a person will behave in the same way at all times is dumb. Marysol explains that she wanted to give Lea a chance to explain. Lisa points out that Marysol & Lea aren’t friends so why did Marysol expect Lea to reach out to her mother. Marysol says that she let Lea walk away. Lisa points out that Marysol followed Lea & confronted her again.
The men are all sitting downstairs, with the guests, again waiting on Adriana. This woman has zero respect for other people’s time. Frederic comes upstairs & informs the women that guests are leaving. Did I seriously hear Adriana admit, in her TH, that she went overboard?!? Color me surprised. She begins yelling that people are stressing her out. There’s no food & the only music is the harp. Lisa points out that the whole day has been about getting ready, not the wedding. The women finally get to the reception. It’s 10:45 & Lenny is trying to leave. There’s some obvious tension between Lenny & Lisa. Lenny points out what everyone is thinking – this is not normal! Adriana & Frederic finally arrive at the reception at approximately 11:00 pm. Lenny leaves & Lisa is obviously upset. She is embarrassed that he left, but I would be more embarrassed that my friend made her guests wait for two hours! Lisa follows him out. She’s upset that she is always alone & he’s upset b/c he’s been working all day. Lenny agrees to stay for 15 minutes for dinner. Adriana says that she understands Lenny’s frustration, but just not enough to hurry up.
Marysol says that the whole day was beautiful enough to make the day worth it. To me, the whole thing seemed staged & forced. But, what else should we expect from Bravo?
I Dream of NeNe – Hurry up and Get Remarried Please by NMD
This show started off by exploring relationships. It’s degraded into a study of superficiality, greed, and excess. As NeNe narrates the timeline, we learn that it is only three weeks to the re-wedding. For some reason, even though the invitations are printed and mailed, we’re supposed to believe that they haven’t decided on a venue yet. NeNe’s dream wedding venue is outdoors in a beautiful garden, but of course she wants to turn it into a circus with tents and air conditioning, etc. for 400 guests. Her new wedding planner gently breaks that news that the only way to have THAT wedding is to delay it for three weeks or so. NeNe explains that delaying is not an option, so miraculously they find another venue on short notice. I’m not buying this. Popular wedding venues are not available that easily.
NeNe and Gregg go through their wedding list, and we learn that her dress is $56,000 and the cake is $15,000 and being flow in from New York first class. NeNe sure likes to price drop. The entire budget is between a half million and a million dollars. I’ve got to assume a lot of this is free in exchange for product placement, or paid for by Bravo, because that is how much she makes for an entire season of real housewives. Surely she’s a smart enough business woman to make more on the show than she spends on the wedding.
We have to suffer through a scene with the bridesmaids, all vying for screen time by acting like self absorbed twits. There are about a dozen of them – and Cynthia is the only housewife among them. Cynthia is actually trying to be helpful, but NeNe will not consider any shoes but those with red bottoms at $1,100 pair because it’s not how the show looks that is important, it’s the label. She explains that the girls should be very grateful that she’s buying them shoes – because they are expensive and have a label (or red bottom which is better than any dang label). Of course Marla has to gripe – because she has a closet full of shoes with red bottoms and doesn’t like these particular ones. I just can’t get into such a long segment on shoes. Then they do the bridesmaid dress fittings. It sure looks to me that they are making the dresses, and I’m wondering why they left it so late. Apparently NeNe has designed the bottom of the dress, but each bridesmaid gets to design the top. Finally NeNe makes them all get botox – just so that all their natural beauty can be smoothed out in pursuit of a plastic, immobile look.
NeNe and Gregg go through the Crate & Barrel to pick items for their registry. While it’s sort of cute that Gregg is scanning everything he can see, NeNe keeps talking about how Bryson will like the stuff. I’ve got to wonder why they need stuff – they’ve been married for years. And are people supposed to buy stuff for their son?
NeNe is also on pins and needles about the New Normal being renewed. It isn’t. Obviously, NeNe is pretty upset about the loss of her paycheck. How come she doesn’t tell us how much she gets paid – she puts a price on everything else?
There are more scenes with the bridesmaids fighting, including a tea party. It’s really unclear what they are fighting about – Diana seems to have a huge chip on her shoulder, but Marlo doesn’t help matters. Do they really behave like this or is it just to create fake drama?
This show is dragging on way too long. Wedding planning just isn’t that interesting. Kim Zolciak’s show had way more going on – like real life in between the wedding planning. And it was split up in half hour episodes. I think Bethenny’s show might have been in half hour episodes as well. An hour seems wayyyyy to long – you shouldn’t be watching a show wondering if it’ll ever end.
Last time we discussed politics on the board it didn’t work out so well, and we permanently lost some posters. I’d prefer to keep the blog an escape zone and stick to less contentious topics. Thank you.