RHONJ – Lost footage (that should have stayed lost) Part II
I know I said I was done recapping this show but what the hell. For old time’s sake here we go. The show opened with the Guidice’s getting ready for Christmas. Maybe it didn’t open that way but who really cares? It was the only part worth watching. It had Milania footage. I personally think, that with all the franchises, this is the type of stuff that should be shown. It would be infinitely more enjoyable than the current canned Bravo HWs formula. Even most of part one was more enjoyable than anything we got on the show this season. Who didn’t laugh at drunk Joe and Rosie trying to help Gia with her homework (for the cameras or not, doesn’t matter to me)? We got to see Milania sliding down the rail with her new rack, Gia roll her eyes at the thought of spending time with her parents.. Making her 4 hours late for a party that she’s expected to make an appearance at. One of the reunion questions that we didn’t get to see had to do with Gia and her makeup.. T says she has to pick her battles so she just gave in on the makeup. The others agreed that is pretty much how it is in every family. I remember my mother scrubbing the war paint off of my sister’s face. Mom won that battle, until my sister got to school. There was a lot of baby Joey crying about his life and how everything is his sister’s fault. She did, after all, throw his Barbie doll, excuse me, action figure, out of a moving car, forever scaring him. There was a lot of other crap too. Most of the ‘lost footage’ was a ManzoidThon, I guess prepping us for whatever stinkfest of a spinoff they are cooking up. There was far more of them than there has been shown all season. If you actually like them, and care about what they had to say, find a rerun and watch the show. You won’t get any of it from me.
As for the rest of the show in general, Shit Happened and again, Who Cares? The end.
I will leave you all with this when it comes to NJ.. It was my pleasure to share this ride with you all in spite of differences of opinion. I am happy that for the most part, it didn’t turn into the knock down drag out fights we had last season. I am sad that the most likely reason for that is, many left after last season. I told NMD at the beginning that I would see it through to the end but, clearly, these people bring out the worse in me. It has nothing to do with them being family. It has everything to do with my zero tolerance for bullshit and being lied to, regardless of who is doing the lying. The more of it I witness, the more vile and ready to spit venom I become. I realize now what a mistake it was to actually commit to watching this crapfest, and if I Really hurt anyone’s feelings during the season (You all, not the NJ cast, couldn’t give a rat’s fat ass about them), You have my apology. I’m sorry.
I am particularly sorry for leaving our hostess, NoMoreDrama, hanging with only a couple regular season episodes to go. I know she didn’t want to commit to the show and definitely didn’t want to recap it. She pretty much gave me free reign in my recaps as you could clearly see and I am certain she held her breath on more than one occasion dreading what my recap may bring to the blog and privately. I respect this place for what it is but most of all, I respect and thank NMD, for letting me have my say. If I drove anyone away with my NJ rants, again, Sorry. Whether people agree with me or not, I do care about this fambly and everyone in it and enjoy my time here. In spite of how it may seem, I do respect your viewpoints and opinions about these TV characters, just as I would hope you respect mine. I went into this believing none of what I see is real and that all of these people are full of shit, I leave it with the same belief.
I will take this opportunity also, to thank Stars99 for providing the pictures at the beginning of the season for me and recapping the weekly excuses from these people. As well, Thanks, To our moms with kids on the spectrum for giving us real education on the subject of autism. To our twitter followers for giving us the up to date stuff on these asshats. To our eagle eyes and their spotting of the editing shenanigans. To the rest, for your healthy dose of snark on chat nights and blog days. Most of all, to Frito the dog, for pissing on the Manzo McMansion floor, demonstrating what I really think of this show.
So with that, let’s get to something actually worth watching…..
The Amazing Race
- Jason and Amy – Dating
Chester and Ephraim – NFL– Eliminated leg 3
- Leo and Jamal – Afghanimals (Cousins from Afghanistan)
Rowan and Shane – Queens (of Bingo)– Eliminated leg 2
Hoskote and Naina – Father and daughter– Eliminated leg 1
- Ally and Ashley – Ice girls (LA Kings Ice Crew)
- Brandon and Adam – Hippies
- Nicole and Travis – ER Doctors (married)
- Tim and Danny – Okies (from Oklahoma)
- Tim and Marie – Divorced (two of the most annoying people on the planet)
- Nicole and Kim – Baseball wives (married to MLB players)
- And of course, Phil Keoghan – The host or just, Phil
This is late, apologies for that. Here is a quick review of what happened on the show.
Last week, NFL was eliminated due to flight delays. They made it to Lisbon but never made it out of the airport. Phil told them to just keep on flying because they’ve been eliminated. All teams were on the same flight to Norway, land of the vikings, the actual first ‘white men’ to hit the North American continent. Once they land, they have to take a ferry.
The first clue they get in Norway is a detour. The Detour was either slinging fish heads to be taken to a drying station or going to a drying station and collecting dried cod to make fish Jerky. All chose the first except Okies and Baseball wives (these two are really beginning to annoy me). Both tasks were hard physical labor especially for those pushing a wheelbarrow with a flat tire. The hanging heads task required them to find marked hanging poles. I guess they missed that in the directions because most failed that task until they noticed there were TAR marked poles. Always look for the marked apparatus people. Come On.. This is season 23. Have you people Never watched this show?
The next clue was a roadblock. One from each team, had to jump off of a bridge while held by an 80 foot rope (not a bungee) and drop themselves into the frigid arctic water. Then swim to a bouy to get their next clue.
That clue took them to a task where they had to hook up a sled holding a boulder, to a truck (Nice advertisement for the Ford Ranger), and drag it far enough to uncover their next clue and a sack of Nordic coins. TWO items. That part is very important. For some, tying the chains properly was the hard part, for others (Divorced), following instructions was the hard part). For the Ice Girls, Driving a manual transmission truck was the hard part. Why in the hell, does Anybody go on this show, without learning to drive a stick shift first? It happens every season. These two are annoying the hell out of me too. Ladies, especially those of you hoping to see a girl girl duo win, it isn’t going to happen this season. I have serious doubts about that. The 4 women comprising the 2 girl girl teams are as dumb as 4 rocks. In fact, if it were a contest, I would have to give it to the rocks. Divorced, didn’t get the clue but only the bag of coins.
The next location, I don’t remember the name of it but it’s a Nordic type home or hall, that has existed since 500AD. The first and only team we see arrive there are the beards (Hippies). They won $5000 each to do with as they please (much better than a trip IMO). While they won this part of leg 4, it continues, an Phil hands them their next clue. I forget where they are going next, we’ll pick that up next week.
Everyone got the clue at the boulder drag except Divorced. The rest of the teams know where they are supposed to go and Divorced, led by that dumbass, Marie, doesn’t have a clue. This woman, has bitched at the other teams in every leg so far about helping others out. Even her slave, Tim catches a rationing of her crap. It is no wonder these two are divorced. I would have pushed her off of a building somewhere and I doubt I would have been convicted. I don’t know, maybe it’s just for the show. Anyway, she has those two express passes and intends to hold on to the second until the end of the 5th leg when they must give it away. The only ones they are considering giving it to today, are the ER doctors because it was their mistake (Instructions) that put the passes in divorced’s hands. As the teams are scrambling to where the clue said they are to go, Divorced meets up with ER. ER offers to help but ONLY for the express pass, and Marie must hand it over before help is given. We are left without knowing if she did or not. We are also left without knowing who got to the mat last. Beards, told Marie to stick the express pass where the sun doesn’t shine.
Next week, leg 4 continues, and there is a double U Turn. See you then.
– SkinnyHound aka MelTheHound aka WTFIJeff.
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