I Dream of NeNe Finale by NMD
The thoughts that are going through my head are 1) I’d rather be watching Walking Dead, and 2) Two whole hours of this – can I do it??
But first – I missed Tuesday’s episode (the dog ate my remote) so to recap, NeNe and her – count them – 9 – bridesmaids head to Cancun for her bachelorette party, and Gregg hangs out with the boys.
It’s 9 days to the wedding so NeNe flys all 9 of her bridesmaids to Cancun for a party. It’s low drama as the girls have fun taking in the activities such as body surfing on some sort of artificial wave, and then swimming with the dolphins. NeNe doesn’t partake, but has fun watching them. Marlo – who doesn’t swim – gives the dolphins thing a try and is a surprisingly good sport.
As the ladies are relaxing in their room, there is a knock on the door and a man brings in a “surprise” for NeNe. The surprise is it isn’t a stripper, but rather a special delivery of a huge painting of NeNe and Diana. As everyone tries to keep a straight face, Diana walks in and says she had nothing to do with it. Then Marlo walks in with a shit eating grin. It’s not clear if Diana was embarrassed and didn’t want to fess up, or Marlo was pulling a prank. Either way it was pretty funny.
Diana has set up a “blue” party for NeNe. Marlo refuses to go along with it. Diana doesn’t give her any attention and pretends not to notice, but Cynthia decides to call her on it. Marlo breaks down and starts talking about how she was raised and her insecurities, yada yada yada. Holy insecurities.
The next day NeNe has flown in her seamstress to finish the dresses. Lexi is hammered. Marlo is a diva and tries to take over. She then declares how hurt she was that she was called out on not wearing the blue dress and going along with the crowd. At this point NeNe is having second thoughts and wondering if Marlo is going to show up to her wedding in a wedding dress instead of her bridesmaid dress.
Meanwhile Gregg and the boys get fitted for their tuxedos, and learn a little dance.
Okay – on to the main show.
It’s now closer to the wedding (is this filmed in real time) and the wedding prep is on the way. For some reason NeNe thinks Gregg is going to be helpful. Cut to a few scenes of him trying his best – but ….
Somehow Gregg has fixed things with his kids and they are all together for dinner – including NeNe’s cuter than cute grandbaby. It looks like this scene was filmed in a normal pizza place, and they are all kicking back, laughing, and having fun. Unfortunately NeNe isn’t having much luck with Curtis, her dad. He sent her an email saying he wasn’t coming to the wedding. Their relationship has been strained since they learned he wasn’t her biological dad. She tries to pry details of Gregg’s party out of Bryson, while giving him a cute dress for her grandbaby. He doesn’t give anything away.
It’s time for Gregg’s bachelor party. They have a party bus for Gregg’s party – complete with strippers as they go from club to club. The footage of the party is surprisingly short, and next we see Gregg and NeNe in the kitchen with NeNe looking mad. But it’s not about the strippers – she’s mad that he hasn’t signed a prenup yet.
NeNe heads over to check out the venue. It’s a work in progress – but there are cranes and a whole roomful of people setting up. Most of the ladies are in the suite, and it looks like they’ll be there for the evening before the wedding. NeNe confesses that Gregg hasn’t signed the prenup. She puts on a brave face – but she really wants to (and needs to) protect her money. He’s a hot mess financially. The ladies all talk about Marlo and her attitude. They agree that NeNe is the only one that can check her.
Meanwhile Marlo and Lexi talk about how fabulous they are, and how NeNe depends on them and doesn’t trust anyone else. Marlo wonders aloud if NeNe is mad at her because she hasn’t been returning her calls. They head off to pick up NeNe’s dress, only to find out that NeNe already picked it up.
Morning of the wedding and the venue is coming together. All the bridesmaids are in bathrobes and gathered for breakfast. Even Marlo. But when it was time to take pictures Marlo had to be different – ugh. Oh wait – that wasn’t the next morning. What the heck were they doing in their bathrobes.
Cute scene with NeNe and the grandbaby with a friend discussing how the invitation was leaked. NeNe is worried about people getting in a getting photos to sell. The baby is asleep. Next she’s with Gregg taking in the venue -which is more than half way finished and really coming together. They have a quiet moment together when he presents her with the signed prenup. Awwww.
Finally the wedding day! First crisis – Omarosa tweeted out photos so the magazines that paid for an exclusive are upset. NeNe has to tell her to take them down. The other problem is that the paps are in the lobby, so NeNe needs to go down in the service elevator through the kitchen, basement, and then into the venue. She’s not impressed. She’s lucky. The bowels of hotels are completely cool, but probably not in a wedding dress. Two hours to the ceremony, and NeNe is remarkably subdued. She asks her makeup person to keep it classy.
The bridesmaids are getting ready, and Marlo is fussing about HER dress. She insists on running it by NeNe. NeNe is not in the mood and tells her to cut that shit out.
Gregg shows up, and the wedding planner gives him a watch from NeNe. He breaks down.
Guests are arriving. Lida Wu. Kandi and her mom.. Gretchen Rossi. Vivica Fox. Kim Zolciak and Kroy. Patti Stranger. Porsha. Phaedra and Apollo. Walter (Kenya’s friend). Kenya. Jill and Bobby. Lawrence (wearing a stupid hat inside – blocking people’s views). Marysol Patton. Derek J. Phaedra asks Kim if she’s pregnant. No – Kim snaps back (she probably was). Kandi did her own makeup and Phaedra says she’s rocking it. Jill has a seat on the aisle – lots of camera shots.
They walk down the aisle. Gregg’s daughter and his dog walk him down. Ashley (Bryson’s baby mama) walks down the baby – who is adorable. Now in come the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Peter and Cynthia first. (Okay -I’m tearing up.) NeNe is making her way through kitchen and service areas, with a tense smile on her face.
It’s time for NeNe to walk in and she’s about to faint. She’s hyperventilating, and they rush to get her water. It’s probably because Marlo told everyone to starve themselves.
NeNe walks in with her two son’s walking her down the aisle. Gregg mouths “you are beautiful.” Gregg walks down to meet them – after shaking Bryson’s hand, he turns to Brent – their son, and gives him a long hug. Not a dry eye in the house now. They rock their vows, having everyone laugh and ohh and awe at the right moments.
Reception. NeNe’s divorce lawyer talks up Porsha. She says it’s the second wedding she’s been to since the divorce (that was quick). Kandi says she’ll have a smaller wedding (that’s an understatement) and will be married early next year. Kim sneaks back to visit NeNe and gives her a huge hug. She says thanks for inviting me – twice – and she seems to mean it. Tears for me again. I admit it – I’m a sap. Kim tells NeNe she’s pregnant, but to try not to tell anyone. She hopes it’s a girl. Kim’s blonde wig has brown roots – how weird.
Peter can’t help staring at Cynthia’s bosom. I sure hope he’s nowhere near Jill Zarin. They all dance in. NeNe has changed (without any fuss I’ll add). Gregg has changed as well. They all rock the dance floor. After welcoming everyone, Gregg announces that Fantasia is there – and she sings for their first dance. As an aside – Gregg and NeNe are great hosts – this makes Adriana look like such a selfish brat. I thought NeNe would be more of a diva, but she isn’t at all – she says such sweet things about her bridesmaids – and Gregg is just a big old sweetie.
NeNe’s changed again – this time into something way more comfortable. So has Gregg. It’s time for Gregg’s little tribute – where each of the groomsmen reads one line of a poem for NeNe. Meanwhile, Diana and Marlo are completely drunk and Marlo is pretty much falling out of her dress. Along with Marchesa (?) they decide to decorate the bridal suite. They sprinkle pedals on the bed, and decide to write little instruction notes. Marlo decides to put her shoes on the bed (they are completely drunk). They decide NeNe is going to freak out over the shoes because she’s a germaphobe. The scene ends in drunken “I love yous.”
Good lord, Jill is fawning over NeNe’s ring. She tells NeNe she did good. When the reverend said for richer or poorer – NeNe corrected him and said richer and richer. Jill is all over that. Heh – even in the short edit she looks like a shallow gold digger (Jill that is – not NeNe.)
NeNe and Gregg excuse themselves in the wee hours to make hot monkey love. But first – NeNe digs into some wedding gifts. Ohhh – Tiffany. Now the wedding bed. Gregg does like the heels. NeNe decides she can’t sleep on the bed.
Credit goes to NeNe Leakes entertainment. Girl has arrived. For next season – no Marlo please.
The Amazig Race – Get Our Groove On – By MelTheHound ™
- Jason and Amy – Dating
Chester and Ephraim – NFL– Eliminated leg 3
- Leo and Jamal – Afghanimals (Cousins from Afghanistan)
Rowan and Shane – Queens (of Bingo)– Eliminated leg 2
Hoskote and Naina – Father and daughter– Eliminated leg 1
- Ally and Ashley – Ice girls (LA Kings Ice Crew)
- Brandon and Adam – Hippies
- Nicole and Travis – ER Doctors (married)
- Tim and Danny – Okies (from Oklahoma)
- Tim and Marie – Divorced (two of the most annoying people on the planet)
- Nicole and Kim – Baseball wives (married to MLB players)
- And of course, Phil Keoghan – The host or just, Phil
Last week when we left off, the beards had taken first place in leg 4 part one.. Yep, it was a two parter. Exes were hopelessly lost looking for the pit stop and ER had offered to help them if they got the express pass in return. That is where we pick up this week with the two bargaining. In the end, Exes (Tim) decided to give up the express pass to ER after they got to the mat for this leg. Of course they did not know yet that this leg (4) was only half over.
Teams are now on their way to Gdansk, Poland where they have to get to Solidarity Square, which was the location of the revolt that helped lead to the downfall of the USSR and communism in Eastern Europe. That isn’t quite the way I remember it happening but it’s what Phil said so we’ll go with that. Anyway, the trip to Poland involves a 34 hour boat ride, and then a plane trip. Guess what kiddies, it doesn’t matter who got their first, they are all on the same boat. Exes gave up the express pass on the boat but the 4 agreed not to say anything about it. We didn’t even see the airport so there must not have been anything noteworthy about that part of the trip.
From there they had to find the Golden Gate which takes them to another part of the city. This really turned out to be the only real travel problem for some of the teams. They had taxi drivers that didn’t know where it was. One cabbie even called his buddy, who had Dating in his cab, but he pretended not to know where it was. Eventually, all teams get there though and pick up their next clue. That clue that takes them on a detour. Polka or Pose. With Polka, Teams had to go get dressed up in the local costumes and learn a specific dance and do it to the satisfaction of the person holding the next clue. With Pose, teams had to dress up as Neptune and pose like a statue there in the square and beg for money from the locals. 75 of whatever their currency is called. Beards passed this one by in favor of doing the polka task. Exes blew their express pass to just move along because their cab driver is one of them who didn’t know where the golden gate was. Baseball Wives (bunnies) did the pose task, most of the rest did Polka. The real rub with the polka task is the teams must be dressed as a couple. That means one guy, one girl. AND once finished with each task, they have to wear their costumes for the rest of the leg of the race (and this isn’t the last part of it). Okies and Beards each had one dressed like a girl. Beards took it all in stride, Okies, or the one dressed like a girl, complained about it. Geranimals kind of complained about it too. One of the Ice girls had to dress like a guy.. like no woman has done that before. All managed to get through it though it took some longer than others. Bunnies made pretty short work of collecting the donations while posing like the statue.
The next clue takes them to the Harbor Crane.. Here they will find the double U Turn. The teams that got there first decided not to use it. Myself, I would have turned the Exes just because I cannot stand Marie and I think her slave, Tim, is a big giant weenie. In the end, what winds up happening, is Okies turn Geranimals (Afghans), and they turn the beards (Hippies). This is also the location of the next clue which, is a roadblock. Who Has a sweet tooth? The object of this is to go to the longest building in Poland and sample some of the local pastry.. We call them Punchki (proper spelling Paczki) and the only time to get them in this area, is Fat Tuesday. To me, they are like dropping a ball of lead into my stomach. Great going down but the rest of the day…. Not so good. I’m not on the race though. Anyway what they have to do with this roadblock, is go to the longest building in Europe, which is an apartment complex, visit 10 up to 10 residents on a list, and sample these deserts. Usually, they are jelly custard filled and they are looking for the resident offering the ones with Red jelly. One other rule here. The racers are going into people’s homes so anyone being rude to them, will be penalized. Tim tells Marie to behave herself. Way to grow some balls, Tim, Finally. This place is half a mile long and has 6000 apartments. I don’t remember who did the task, except for Marie, and yes, she was polite. I didn’t know she had it in her to do so.. There was some cooperation with this task and a few teams worked together such as ER and Exes.. Remember that these people are still wearing their costumes from the Detour (it doesn’t play into it, I just thought it was funny). The only ones not wearing costumes were Exes because they blew their express pass.
Once they find the jelly punchki, they have to then find The Sopot Pier which, is the longest pier in Europe. It reaches 1600 feet into the Baltic Sea and is the location of the next pit stop. What ends up happening, is 3 teams get there together… Exes, ER, and Dating and that is the order that Phil checks them in. Exes win a trip to Hawaii and the other two live to fight another day. Remember, no one knows that ER has that express pass. I hope they don’t get eliminated holding it like that dumbass surfer dude last season. Even after being U Turned, Geranimals finish 6th out of 8. The last team to arrive, sorry people, I know some of you liked them (I did too), was the beards (hippies, Brandon and Adam) and it was an elimination round. They are done, from first place to last, in the same leg of the race.
That’s all I have for you this week. See you next week for leg 5 of The Amazing Race. Until then, Peace, MTH™ aka SkinnnyHound™ aka WTFIJeff.
Revenge and The Walking Dead recaps from Empress