The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (S4E1) by BB
Did you guys catch Lisa and Ken talking about the new Rachel McAdams movie coming out called “About Time” at the end of the last season’s episode before the premiere of RHOBH? Nice cute little promo. I like Lisa and Ken as a couple. I think they are the real deal.
Season 4 Taglines:
Kyle: “I’m from this town. I know what’s real and what’s fake.” (Kyle needs to constantly remind us she’s from BH, like it means something special. Run for Mayor, Kyle.)
Yolanda: “Don’t tell me you’re my friend. Act like one.” (Warning to Yolanda: Watch out for your friend, The Truth Cannon. You may be her next target.)
Brandi: “In Beverly Hills, the higher you climb, the farther you fall.” (If that’s the case, why has Brandi been trying so hard to get to the top for the past two years? Or is this a slap at Lisa?)
Kim: “Everybody loves a comeback story, especially starring me.” (Poor Kim, perpetually stuck in her past glory childhood actress days.)
Carlton: “In my world, money doesn’t talk, it swears.” (Yeah, girl, I can tell you’re a real Beverly Hills Badass, or is that a contradiction in terms?)
Joyce: “You can never be too young, too thin, or too honest.” (I got nothing. That doesn’t even make sense to me.)
Lisa: “Life is a sexy little dance, and I like to take the lead.” (Until now, Lisa’s been dancing a jig, but that may be about the change.)
Yolanda is doing her usual stage mom thing at a photo shoot for her daughter Gigi, who Yolanda wants us to know is making a lot of money. Gigi is gorgeous. According to Yolanda, the photographer loves having her there and trusts her interference, I mean, intuition. Yolanda gives Gigi a pep talk about how giving up the sugar, eating salad every day and working out like crazy can pay off. Yolanda says how blessed she is to be able to be on a photo shoot with Gigi considering what she’s been through health wise with her Lyme disease over the past year. Yolanda throws in a random comment about how Brandi has been a true friend by being there for her, but Kyle hasn’t. I’m assuming this is to set us up for a future Kyle/Yolanda conflict down the road. Funny she doesn’t mention whether Kim or Lisa were there for her or not.
Brandi and J.R., her realtor (and then boyfriend) are looking at a prospective rental property because, as Brandi says, she’s a white version of The Jeffersons and she’s movin’ on up. If you remember, J.R. is the realtor guy Brandi met at Kyle’s white party last season and they were accused of allegedly doing the nasty in a bathroom with little Portia sleeping nearby. Of course, Brandi says there was no sex at that party, but there’s been plenty of sex since then in a lot of different places. They kid about Brandi and her kids moving into his apartment since her kids like him. They argue a lot and then have really good make-up sex. Oh, and Brandi’s worried about that big picture window in the new rental property seeing as how she runs around nekkid all the time. Call me prudish, but her boys may be getting a little too old for her to be doing that. (My 22 year old son was in the room while I was watching this and he looked at me and said – “does she have kids”. I explained that they were young, and he said, “yes, but at some point they’ll find out what she’s saying on TV. I feel bad for them.” NMD) That’s Brandi for ya, telling us more about her life than we ever want or need to know. J.R. says Brandi has to make a decision that day because there are others interested in the property. She tells him to get it for her. Brandi doesn’t want to have a man pay for things for her ever again. She’s making her own money now. I expected her to start belting out Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” at that point.
Lisa and Gleb, her Dancing with the Stars partner, are in a practice session. Lisa says she begged DWTS for a gay dancing partner because it would make things much easier for her. However, they didn’t comply. It’s strange for her to be physically entwined with someone other than Ken, but she’s getting used to it and not complaining. For those interested, I believe Lisa made it to week four before being eliminated. But hey, she was the first Real Housewife asked to be on DWTS.
Kyle and Lisa still have a rather complicated relationship going. Lisa says if she held a grudge she wouldn’t be at Kyle’s party and she wouldn’t be calling Kyle. She would have cut Kyle her out of her life. Kyle doesn’t see it that way. Kyle has decided to join the Chamber of Commerce and is hosting a party in honor of the 100th anniversary of Beverly Hills. Lots of Chamber of Commerce people will be there that Kyle has never met.
Kyle decides to let Lisa’s restaurant Sur cater the party. Lisa comes over to discuss it. While Lisa is there, Kyle brings up the fact that Yolanda is a liar because Yolanda said Lisa was full of shit and then denied she said it. Kyle and Kim heard it, but Lisa is inclined to believe Yolanda. Lisa is willing to let it go and can’t understand why Kyle won’t since Lisa is OK with it and the remark was about her. Lisa says she has a history with Yolanda’s family and it’s not worth it. Kyle thinks Lisa is “taking sides” and is intimidated by Yolanda. I don’t think Lisa is intimidated by anyone. I’m with Lisa on this one. Kyle needs to let it go. It’s not that big a deal but I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those season-long feuds. Sigh.
Now, about Lisa’s little digs at Kyle. Lisa has a habit of jokingly getting little jabs in here and there and Kyle seems to be the recipient most of the time. This could be because Kyle takes it so seriously and Lisa knows it. If I were Kyle, I would have some pretty scathing comebacks for Lisa when it happened, but Kyle would rather get mad and stew about it. If Kyle recognizes it and doesn’t like it, then she should be the one cutting Lisa out of her life or learn to deal with it and hand it right back to Lisa. Other than imitating Lisa’s British accent, Kyle is not being very imaginative or creative. I’m sure if I tried I could definitely come up with some good zingers for Lisa.
Here’s a rundown of Lisa’s comments and jabs about Kyle. (1) Kyle is not a business woman, she just likes fashion. I kind of agree with Lisa here as Kyle herself said she didn’t realize what she was getting into when she opened her store and she had that blank look on her face when the Chamber of Commerce person was talking to her. (2) When Lisa and Kyle are in her kitchen talking about various tabloid rumors, Mauricio and Portia come in and Mauricio informs them they are going to run some errands. Lisa makes a comment to the effect that must be where the rumors are coming from about Mauricio being with a younger woman. Kyle gives Lisa the “cut it out” sign. I’m with Kyle on this one. Inappropriate and not very nice. (3) When Joyce and her husband show up, Lisa makes a remark that perhaps Joyce should do an advertisement for Pantene since she has such a beautiful head of hair. Kyle has done ads for Pantene in the past. Boy, Lisa really knows how to get to Kyle, doesn’t she? (4) When Kyle and Lisa are sitting talking about British accents and Yolanda’s accent, Lisa rubs her hand on Kyle’s head, which Kyle sees as condescending. I didn’t see it that way, but Kyle was already pretty much pissed by this time. There may have been some other little Lisa tidbits I missed. Kyle says Lisa is playing games with her. Ya think? And Kyle is playing right into Lisa’s hand.
Yolanda got invited to Kyle’s party but told Brandi she wouldn’t go unless Kyle called her. Well, she showed up but there wasn’t much interaction between Kyle and Yolanda. Yolanda did say something catty about Joyce’s hair being much prettier than Kyle’s, but not in earshot of Kyle.
About the new women. Could be in the editing, but Carlton came across as a killjoy. She doesn’t like cocktail parties, she doesn’t like sex talk, she didn’t like the way Joyce and her husband reacted to her kids’ unusual names (Destiny, Mystery and Cross). It wasn’t a terrible reaction, but they kind of hesitated and didn’t fawn all over them like Kyle and Kim did when they heard them. Not a good first impression, but we all know first impressions are not always accurate. On the other hand, Joyce and her husband seemed fun and friendly from what I could tell.
Brandi took pleasure in pointing out Scheanna’s injured tooth by asking her what was wrong with it. Note to Brandi: Scheanna wasn’t married when she screwed your husband, but your husband was. Not that Scheanna was blameless, but if not her it would have been someone else. Just saying. Get.over.it. Lisa reminds Scheanna that Brandi has an axe to grind and to keep that in mind when talking to her.
Kim has no common sense and has trouble functioning as an adult. She cannot even take care of a dog. Kim, when you can’t reach a dog toy, get a broom handle or a stick or something to get it out. I am wondering what Kingsley had in his mouth at first. Is anyone else? Must see TV.
I’m not covering anything about the SUR staff since I don’t know who they are (besides Scheanna). We leave the RHOBH episode and morph into the Vanderpump Rules episode. I will bid adieu now. I have to get up at 4:30 a.m.
From Twitter last night
Seriously peeps! Today isn’t the day 2fuck with me I will just block u – I have real family issues that actually matter unlike u hater fucks
And then as WWHL aired, (with Lisa Vanderpump and Whitney Cummings) she tweeted her boss Andy Cohen
@andy his teeth are real and so is his c*ck btw 🙂 don’t be jelly people
My take on the whole Kyle – Lisa thing by NMD
Lisa has a sarcastic sense of humor. She takes digs. Kyle has decided to play the victim this season, and will let us know how she feels when Lisa jabs at her. For the most part she’ll smile as Lisa makes her quips, but tell us how she feels in her talking head interviews. That way, Lisa won’t know that Kyle is upset and will keep on taking digs. While Brandi is crowing about being the chess master, Kyle is slowly moving in on the queen. It’s going to be an interesting season.
Overlap – Real Housewives of BH and Vanderpump Rules
For whatever reason, Bravo decided to make a two hour episode combining RHOBH and VPRules. The co-mingling was a party at Kyle’s house (for the BH Chamber of Commerce) catered by SUR staff. This party was also an excuse to meet the two new housewives. So while there was drama by the BH ladies at the party, there was also drama in the kitchen with the SUR staff. As the party wound down, BH ended and VPRules began ….
Vanderpump Rules – S2Ep01
Lisa and her crew of beautiful employees are back! Last season saw the demise of Stassi & Jax, a parking lot brawl, and a lot of drinking. This season promises more infidelity rumors, another racy photo shoot, a wedding, and another brawl. We start the same way as last season, with a lead-in from Beverly Hills. Kristen has a whole lot of attitude while prepping for Kyle’s party. I’ve worked in restaurants & definitely would have been sent home for talking to my boss like that, if not fired. She says that she’s 30 years old & an adult & shouldn’t have to put up with this BS. I’m not sure what BS she’s referring to & I don’t care how old she is, you do what your boss tells you to do, no questions or whining about wanting to work with your boyfriend.
In the kitchen, Brandi points out that Scheana has a miscolored tooth. We learn that Scheana fell & knocked her front teeth out. Scheana immediately gets upset because she’s self conscious about the temporary filler that was put in. She cries to Lisa that Brandi was being mean. Lisa points out that she did sleep with Brandi’s husband. If Scheana & Brandi can’t get along, maybe Scheana shouldn’t work housewife parties anymore. But then there wouldn’t be any drama! Stassi comes in & there is tension between she & Scheana. The day of Scheana’s mouth surgery, Stassi didn’t call her. Scheana is super pissed about it. Apparently now Lisa knows about it & Lisa is upset with Stassi. Stassi doesn’t think that she needs to apologize because it was just dental surgery & starts an argument about it with Scheana in Kyle’s kitchen. I don’t care what kind of ‘surgery’ I’m having, I would expect my close friends to at least check on me. I think it was tasteless of Stassi to try to minimize what was obviously a traumatic experience for her friend. Jax informs Lisa & Lisa shuts down the argument. Good for Lisa to separate them. There is no reason to bring your personal drama into work! These kids still act like they’re in high school.
Jax is on a mission to get Stassi back. He says that he’s got his job back at Sur (after he quit last year) but that he still hasn’t reconciled with Stassi. Stassi recognizes that Jax is a compulsive liar, but he’s good in bed. She continues to struggle with whether to have a relationship with him. Jax sounds just as self-centered as he did last season. I’m also not convinced that he has his life together, isn’t he in the same position that he was in last year? Sounds like the makings of a great relationship.
Lisa has left the party & her staff is just standing around Kyle’s kitchen. Kyle asks if they plan to put her house back the way it was, as that is what most caterers do. The girls seem confused & aren’t sure what Kyle is talking about. Part of hiring a caterer is so you don’t have a bunch of clean-up to do after the party. The caterer brings in food, liquor, serving ware, glasses, etc & I would expect them to clean up what they brought with them. Scheana takes charge by telling the staff to collect all of the glasses & trays to be packed up. After cleaning up most of the house, the crew leaves Scheana to finish. They head out to a club for after-work drinks. Kristen is already there.
Katie tells Kristen that she should not have picked a fight with Lisa at the party. Kristen says that all she did was stand up for herself & that Lisa just doesn’t like her. She tells the other girls that they complain all of the time but never stand up for themselves at work. Tom, her boyfriend, says that you just can’t tell your boss ‘no.’ Finally, a voice of reason. Kristen is Lisa’s employee. If Kristen doesn’t like the way that Lisa runs her business, she can find another restaurant to work in. Katie is hurt that Kristen thinks she won’t stand up for herself. Kristen has way too much attitude this season & seems to think she’s too good for her waitressing job. She comes off as overly aggressive. Katie says that Kristen complains constantly about ‘something’ but doesn’t do anything about it. We then learn that, while going through a rough patch, Tom cheated on Kristen in Vegas. Sound familiar? I wonder if Jax was with him. Katie thinks that Kristen is being hypocritical because she complains about Tom’s cheating but continues to live with him. Katie tells her to act like a 30 year old if she wants to be treated like one.
Lisa, Pandora & Scheana are shopping. Pandora & Scheana are friends, which may explain Stassi’s attitude. She’s jealous that Pandora has another friend. The relationship that Lisa & Scheana have seems like the relationship Stassi & Lisa had last year. Lisa is their boss, but also their friend’s mother. That tends to confuse the business relationship in the restaurant. Pandora & Scheana are going to have a joint birthday party & want to find matching dresses. Lisa doesn’t get it, neither do I. Are we 12? Scheana expects an apology from Stassi. Lisa says that she’s going to stay out of it, but agrees that Stassi should have called after how supportive Scheana was of Stassi during her breakup with Jax. Scheana says that she & Stassi got to be very close during that time, but feels that Stassi dumped her as soon as she made up with Katie & Kristen. I think Scheana needs to move on, these petty girls aren’t worth all of the effort.
Stassi & her Dad are having coffee. He owns an architecture firm in NOLA. He’s going to Monte Carlo & Stassi is jealous. He tells her that when she earns the money or meets a man with money, she can go. Jax wants to meet with her dad to clear the air. Stassi says that she’s confused because Jax trys so hard, but she doesn’t know if she can trust him. Her dad says that they are both too good-looking but that Stassi can just marry a rich guy. Wait, did he really just encourage his daughter to be a gold-digger? Jax arrives for his conversation alone with Stassi’s father. He doesn’t take it easy on Jax, who apologizes for all of the hurt that he caused Stassi. Jax brings up Frank, who Stassi started dating right after the break-up. Not a good idea. Stassi’s dad says that Frank seemed to know where he was going in life, unlike Jax. I’m not sure that criticizing Stassi is the right way to go when apologizing to her father. Stassi’s father seems most concerned with Jax’s income & his ability to support Stassi. I see where Stassi gets some of her elitism.
At SUR, Stassi & Katie are sneaking tequila shots when Lisa arrives. Lisa says that her staff is still a hot mess. Lisa pulls Kristen aside to speak with her & Nathalie, a business partner. Lisa is very honest about her issues – Kristen was rude & disrespectful. Kristen thinks that Lisa’s issues stem from Scheana. Kristen seems like she is miserable with her life, but is blaming everyone else. Lisa points out that there are consequences for words & actions at work. Nathalie points out that Kristen seems different since she started dating Tom. Lisa suggests that Kristen take two weeks off & reflect on what she wants from life. Kristen, in her TH, says that she doesn’t regret her actions & that she would rather be suspended than take Lisa’s BS. I think that her behavior was incredibly disrespectful. She probably should have been fired & was lucky to get away with a suspension. Kristen has way too much attitude; she acts as though everyone is out to get her.
Jax & Other Tom, Katie’s boyfriend, are at the gym. Tom says that he doesn’t hold a grudge & has forgiven Jax for lying to all of them. They’re guys so it’s expected. Jax complains about how having a girlfriend just rains on his parade, but says that he loves Stassi. Sounds like a stereotypical guy conversation, complaining about how women hold them back. Jax says that his meeting with her father went ok. I’m not sure what conversation he was a part of, but I don’t think Stassi’s dad is ok with him yet. He hopes to end up with Stassi. Of course, the boys make light of the situation.
Kristen & Tom are still living together. Tom cheated on her a few days after her birthday & her friends told her to leave him. She loves him & says that it’s not easy to leave. Tom is leaving for work & Kristen says that they need to have a serious conversation. Tom wants to have a conversation when Kristen hasn’t been drinking. She’s still very angry about the cheating. She chooses that moment to yell at him about the cheating. It’s never a good idea to pick a fight as he’s leaving for work. Kristen seems like one of those people who isn’t happy unless they have something to complain about. Tom says that they were in a bad place & hadn’t been intimate in months. Cheating is never ok & he should have talked to her or broken up with her if he was that unhappy. In his TH, Tom says he isn’t sure how long they can keep living like this. He goes to work & Stassi arrives with wine. Stassi tells her that it isn’t good to stay in the house & be angry or upset all of the time. Kristen says that, after the cheating, the girls went through Tom’s phone bill & found the Vegas numbers. They discovered the Vegas Skank. Kristen tells Stassi that she forgave Tom, but it doesn’t sound like she has forgiven him. She says that she should have left for a week or so to chill out. Stassi isn’t sure what to do about Jax. I bet they’ll get back together.
The conversation turns to the joint birthday party. Stassi says that, if the party were just for Scheana, she wouldn’t go. But she is friends with Pandora & must go. Plus Pandora is her boss. Kristen says that Scheana is jealous of Stassi’s relationship with Pandora. Seems to me like Stassi is the jealous one. Stassi, Katie & Other Tom arrive at the party. Katie is surprised by the matching dresses. For people who claim to be her friends, they sure do make snide comments about Scheana an awful lot. Scheana says that she can’t stay mad at Jax because he was the only one to reach out to her after her accident. Stassi & Scheana step to the side to discuss their issue. Stassi says that she wasn’t worried because it was just dental surgery. Scheana explains that she was hurt because Stassi has turned her back now that she’s friends with Katie & Kristen again. Stassi apologizes, which she says was fake, so that Scheana won’t talk badly to Lisa & Pandora. Yep, Stassi is still a self-centered b*tch.
Scheana asks Stassi if Kristen plans to go out with the group that night. Stassi says yes. Pandora & Scheana both agree that they have no interest in seeing her. Scheana informs the group that Kristen’s attitude was disrespectful at Kyle’s party. Not really the forum or the audience for that kind of comment. Pandora is upset by the way her mother was treated, but I don’t understand why Scheana is so upset. It’s not really any of her business. Scheana wonders aloud why they stay friends with Kristen if she continues to behave like that. No good. A surefire way to alienate people is to talk poorly about their friends. It’s like talking about family – you can talk badly about your own family, but god help the outsider who does it.
At the bar, Pandora & Scheana try to include Stassi, but she wants none of it. Scheana’s mom is there. Pandora gives Scheana some fabulous sparkly shoes. Katie is not impressed with the shoes. She says that she thought Pandora had more taste. I happen to like the shoes. Shane, Scheana’s boyfriend, is at the bar drinking Stassi’s drink. Who just walks up & takes a sip of someone’s drink? Kristen & Tom arrive. Tom admits to a co-worker that there is no justification for his actions in Vegas. Pandora tells Kristen that she does not want to be involved in Lisa & Kristen’s issues. Kristen thinks that Pandora is taking her mother’s side. What did she expect? Jax arrives with immediate compliments for Stassi. She says that he’s pathetic in the way he follows her around, but that she loves it.
Scheana walks up to the threesome (Stassi, Katie & Kristen) talking about her. Scheana is upset that Kristen didn’t call her after the surgery & Kristen is made that Scheana called her a bad friend. This whole group talks behind each other’s back way too much. Kristen follows Scheana into the bar. Pandora leaves with a reminder that it’s Scheana’s birthday & that they should probably be nice to her. Scheana asks the girls to leave because they obviously aren’t her friends. Shane says that they should leave Scheana alone on her birthday. Other Tom steps in & a fight breaks out. Katie thinks that they got kicked out because of the fight, but weren’t they leaving before? Shane is just so drunk that he has no idea what’s going on. He was trying to stick up for his girlfriend. Outside, Other Tom is praised by Scheana’s so-called-friends for standing up for Katie. Scheana is yelling from the balcony for Stassi to come back & Stassi leaves with Katie. The whole thing reeks of high school. Aren’t these people supposed to be adults?
Happy Birthday LA Debra