Real Housewives of Miami – The Aftermath by NMD
The third season of Real Housewives of Miami is over. It’s hard to imagine that it’ll be renewed for another season. It seemed as though Bravo gave up on it weeks ago – moving it into the 10 pm slot, cramming the end of the season into a short timeframe, and rarely showing repeats.
One trap this franchise fell into was the “team” gang up mentality. For much of the season it was Team Lea versus Team Adriana. It was as though Adriana had read our blog and knew that we’d only care if she ended up in a feud with a real friend so Lea was sacrificed. That put Joanna Krupa in the awkward position of being third wheel in Adriana’s fight – so her target became Lisa Hochstein. What better story line than to invite a “best friend” to be a bridesmaid and then have a falling out. Only Joanna is such an unbelievably bad actress it was hard to get engaged in that storyline. Does anyone even know why Joanna got mad at Lisa? If I remember correctly it was because Lisa was encouraging Lea to make peace with Adriana.
Lisa and Joanna must have promised fireworks to the producers to be placed in the coveted “next to Andy Cohen” spots on the reunion couches. According to Adriana’s blog, Lisa and Joanna were friends coming into the reunion, and had dinner together the evening before. Lisa admitted on camera that she and Joanna had agreed there would be no hitting below the belt. Unfortunately for Lisa, Joanna does not appear to understand what hitting below the belt entails. There are some subjects that are simply too personal to be fodder for a housewives reunion. Children are one of them. Ana Quincoces is still taking heat for saying that her girls were not socially awkward on last year’s reunion. Lea Black immediately assumed Ana was talking about her son – RJ. Ana has explained that she truly was speaking about her daughters – defending them against an off-camera dig by Lea about their table manners. Unfortunately, she made so many “below the belt” digs against Lea last year – mainly about her age – that it barely makes a difference. Taking digs about age, appearance, or children doesn’t win you any fans. Better to keep the digs focused on your cast mate’s behavior.
Joanna didn’t attack Lisa’s age or her children, but she did attack Lisa for struggling with infertility. Apparently Joanna has no wish to be a mother – so perhaps she doesn’t realize how atrocious it is to attack another woman for being unable to bring a child to term. It is wrong on every level – yet Joanna – even after eliciting a strong reaction from Lisa – seemed unable to understand why or how she had hurt Lisa. Unbelievable. Of course Lisa fought back by saying that no one even liked Joanna – not even her own sister. That’s probably not true – but her sister did avoid the show like the plague. Smart girl. Last season she was used as a storyline, including allegations of statutory rape. That was another instance of Joanna not seeming to not understand what is acceptable and what isn’t.
Alexia tells us in her blog that the reunion proved that Joanna and Lisa were never really friends – they were just pretending to like each other. Alexia had the advantage of coming on the show with some real friends like Marysol, Adriana, Lea and Ana. My guess is Joanna and Lisa weren’t friends – but they were friendly. Even if the conflict between the two ladies was staged (Alexia said it dragged on for two hours) it appears clear that Joanna took it too far.
The Lea – Adriana feud had run its course by the reunion. They had come to peace on screen. I have a feeling Adriana realized she had blown it sometime mid-season. Perhaps she was encouraged to blame Lea for exposing her lie. Perhaps she was desperate to have her faux wedding shown on television. After she received her television wedding, she apologized to Lea. Too little, too late. You can’t humiliate someone on national tv and then say “nevermind – just kidding.” It doesn’t work like that – well sometimes it does – but it didn’t in this case. Lea has made it clear that she is done with Adriana. That’s too bad for Adriana. When Lea is your friend she’ll move mountains for you.
The Lea – Marysol conflict has also run its course. Marysol had a tough year. She was dealing with the illness of her mother, and was downgraded to a “friend” on the show even though she had a lot of screen time. Basically she had to put in the time but got paid much less than if she were a regular cast member. Her main conflict with Lea seemed to be resentment of Lea’s lack of interest in Mama Elsa after Elsa’s stroke. It’s hard to understand why Marysol thought Lea should visit Elsa in the hospital – after all, while they remained cordial, they weren’t best friends. The video shot in Lea’s house with a comedian Frankie making fun of Elsa was disgusting. Lea says in her blog it was shot months after filming wrapped – so it had nothing to do with how Marysol was feeling while the cameras were rolling. She also swears that wasn’t her laughter in the background, and Frankie was making fun of Elsa – but didn’t know about the stroke.
Marysol milked the Mama Elsa story far too much. It was tiring. Bringing video of her father (from the hospital) calling Lea a liar was too much. It made her look desperate. I don’t know why Marysol was downgraded to friend, but she brought little to this season’s storyline. It’s too bad – she seems like an interesting person, but you can not keep fighting the same fight over and over and expect people to care.
Ana Quincoces was also downgraded to a “friend” and slowly phased off the show. She’s promised to blog about it on Monday. Last year at the reunion she went after Lea Black hard – bringing a folder of evidence that didn’t make the show. She claims they tried to get her to come to the reunion this year – answering this tweet: “@AnaQooks they should have brought you in as a surprise so Lea would lose her shit. Maybe they’d gotten a 3rd part. #RHOM” with “they tried. Fool me once…” Instead she sent Joanna Krupa with a message to Lea Black – that Lea was right about Marysol and also tweeted: “definitely not on lea’s side just very disappointed about being duped by Marysol. #sad“ When did Ana become friends with Joanna Krupa? When did Ana stop being friends with Marysol? I hope her blog answers some of my questions.
Even though she wasn’t at the reunion, Ana took a swipe at Marysol. Asked what she thought about Marysol’s dress she tweeted: “Never gave that a single thought but I certainly would have steered away from that whole menopause prom queen look.” Again with the dig about a cast mate’s age. For the record, I loved Marysol’s dress. Ana took on the entire cast, responding to this tweet: “@AnaQooks should’ve been at this reunion. She would’ve shut it DOWN. #RHOM,” with “my cousins chihuahua could have shut it.” And when a follower commented that the ladies weren’t representative of Miami she said, ”total recast & exclude me plz!” For someone who claims she wants nothing to do with the show she sure spends a lot of time tweeting about the show.
From chadtuckernyc’s twitter (he’s Lea’s PR person and snapped this photo back stage)
The Adriana – Joanna feud was non existent this year. Adriana seemed to understand she had gone too far last year when she slapped Joanna. I don’t think Adriana meant to set off a firestorm when she recounted the Brandi – Yolanda avoiding Joanna story during the reunion. She probably just meant to bring up the Mohamed – Joanna affair story. But never underestimate Joanna or Brandi for taking it to a whole new level of hitting below the belt. I have a feeling Joanna will be joining the cast of BH next year. I sure hope she doesn’t, but I suspect producers will think that viewers would tune in to see Brandi and Joanna tear each other apart. They might, but they also might be turned off by Joanna’s over acting between the real scenes of crazy town. That’s the real issue with Joanna. She’s brought some realness to the show (such as her drunken tirades) but it’s interspersed with the acting. A good producer would have left the bad acting on the cutting room floor.
And then there was Alexia. Alexia began the season friendly with everyone – even though it sounds like she didn’t talk to Lea between S2 and S3. She ended the season friendly with everyone – even Lisa Hochstein – according to both ladies they are back on friendly status. Of all the ladies, I felt that she had the most interesting story line, and opened herself and her family up to the viewers. If Bravo cast more ladies like Alexia, they may have had a decent chance at saving this show instead of going for the cheap “Krupa” thrills.
So this is likely the end of the Real Housewives of Miami. It’s too bad because the setting and their fashions were fantastic, and the ladies were an interesting bunch if you could get past all the petty bickering.
Digfest 2013™®© – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Who Has the Biggest Shovel?
Note: One of the fun things we have been doing recently on this blog is that we’ve been casually bantering back and forth about which housewife makes the most digs and which housewife carries the biggest shovel. There are many in the running within the Beverly Hills franchise, and since this is only the 2nd show of the season, I decided it might be fun if we actually try to keep track (I can probably rewatch the 1st episode so we have an accurate ongoing count). Last week, I even joked that Lisa doesn’t mind digs being thrown at her, because she knows that she carries the biggest shovel – and it’s pink – and sparkly! On this blog, I’m confident that we’ll probably discuss and perhaps disagree how the digs are counted, but basically, if someone said or did something not so nice – or inferred something not so nice about someone – I tried to count it. If I miscounted or misjudged, please let me know… We want to be as accurate as possible! Extra points may be given if the digs are especially dramatic. We’ll also see that we’re not the only ones who snark! On to Digfest 2013™®©!
Episode 2 – Faint Chance
“I feel like I’m all grown up,” says Brandi as she gives her mom a tour of her new home. “Oh, someday… You’ll be…” answers her mother. Brandi’s Mom: 1
Brandi gives her Mom a tour of her new house then says, “I need a drink.” “So, what else is new?” says Brandi’s Mom. Brandi’s Mom reads the label on the bottle, “Chaos… Kind of sounds like your life,” says Mom. Brandi’s Mom: 2
From a poetry book that Brandi wrote when she was young that was conveniently left on top of an opened box while Brandi was moving – Brandi starts reading the title to her Mom and then reads one of her poems: “Cute Poems about Guy and Judy” – “My Mom is pretty, but she’s kind of sh**y; She acts real nice, but then you’ll think twice. She doesn’t really call, I mean never at all. Reach out and touch someone, she doesn’t know how. She needs to get in touch with Alexander Graham Bell.” Brandi’s Mom says, “Byron, Keats and Shelley have nothing to worry about.” “Who are they?” responds Brandi. “Never mind” says her Mom. Brandi: 5; Brandi’s Mom: 1 (But a really big 1.. lol…)
Carlton was right in the middle of a riveting story about a black cat and a bird that doesn’t end well for the bird and Kyle abruptly jumps up and says, “I’m gonna open the wine… I’ll be right back.” This left Carlton gasping with her mouth wide open not believing Kyle would be that rude. In Carlton’s talking head (TH), she said, “Really? I didn’t appreciate that. I don’t care if she was bored to death – it was rude.” Kyle: 1; Carlton: 1
“This story is going on for quite a while, and I’m wondering when we’re actually going to get to the end of it” says Carlton in her TH regarding Joyce’s long winded explanation of when she and her husband met for the first time. Carlton: 1
When confronted by a bee while they’re outside eating lunch, Carlton gasps when Kyle wants her friend Sharon to kill the bee (Kyle’s allergic). “Don’t kill it” exclaims Carlton. In her TH, Carlton says, “I’m disgusted. We’re sitting outside in this bee’s environment, this is f**ed up. Why would you do such an awful thing?” In Kyle’s TH, she says to us, “I’m a bee murderer’s accomplice” and then she laughs hysterically. Meanwhile, at the lunch, everyone is laughing hysterically, even snorting they’re laughing so hard… but Carlton is just so not amused. Carlton 1; Kyle: 1; Bee: 0
Kyle and Sharon are telling an amusing story to Joyce and Carlton about the first night Kyle went out with Sharon after she had a baby, and the story made them laugh so hard that the new girl Joyce snorted… and then they all started laughing about how Kyle, Sharon and Joyce are all snort laughers… which made them all laugh even harder. Carlton was not amused and said in her TH, “Did I miss something?” Carlton: 1
Kyle and Kim are in Kyle’s theater watching Lisa’s fainting during “Dancing with the Stars” and badly acting like it’s the first time they’ve both seen it (Insert gratuitous eye roll here). “What… Wait? What happened? What did she just say, ‘I fell down?’” asks Kyle. Kim wide-eyed said, “What just happened?” Kyle responds as she snidely gnaws on her SweetTarts™, “She fainted? Wait a minute, I have to see that again… I want to see it in slo-mo…” Kim says as she’s chuckling, “Look…She’s holding on… she’s holding on to his hand. Wait a minute…I don’t think she wanted to do it anymore.” In her TH, Kim tells us, “I’ve fainted on camera before – and I’ve fainted for real… and some people just aren’t cut out for fake faints.” Then back to Kim talking to Kyle, “When she wakes up, she wakes up… Don’t people when they wake up – Don’t they wake up startled? But instead she woke up like she was looking at him, and then she was like… [cut] with the cameras…” Kyle, in her TH says, “Lisa wanted out with Dancing with the Stars. She wanted out. I don’t blame her – I’d be tired, too, when I go home.” Then both Kyle and Kim get up and mockingly reenact their version of the “fake fainting.” Kyle continues on in her TH, “Of course I’m going to have to tease Lisa, just like she would tease me if the shoe was on the other foot.” Kim: 3; Kyle: 3 (2 for what they said and 1 for their reenactment)
“How are you with Kyle?” Lisa asks Yo at her lunch gathering with Brandi and Yo. “I mean I’m not in a better place the woman who called me a liar. I just feel like her and I have to have a heart to heart and talk about it – I really want to understand…” responds Yo. “The problem is that she’s kind of stabbed everyone in the back – so once that happens, it isn’t the same,” says Brandi. “But do you know, she really doesn’t have any girlfriends or somebody next to her,” says Yo. Lisa says, “She has been a good friend to… Well, maybe not Adrienne, I think that was kind of a little superficial.” Cue tape during the reunion show that Lisa was saying that Kyle only cozied up to Adrienne and had defended her throughout the season because of a business decision regarding the selling of Adrienne’s house. In her current TH, Lisa says, “I do feel a bit sorry for Kyle right now, actually, because she’s lost kind of this major support group that she had with Taylor, Adrienne and Faye ‘Rancid’”. Lisa looks to the side and says as if talking to herself, “This is too bit**y, I shouldn’t say this … but I’m awfully glad I did.” Brandi 1; Lisa: 3; Yo: 1
“I do therapy every day,” says Yo when talking about her Lyme disease recovery. “Really, like what?” asks Lisa. Yo responds, “Puzzles to reprogram the brain – to activate the brain. Because you know…” Lisa interrupts and says, “You need to do that, Brandi!” Lisa: 1
“You’ve just got to put your house on the market and you’ll bond really quick,” Lisa says to Yo who is talking about how Kyle may need some friends in her life right now. Lisa: 1
Current Dig Standings based on this Episode:
Brandi’s Mom: 4