Atlanta Roundup by NMD
Neither Kandi nor Porsha put in blogs this week, but they’ve been busy ladies. Kandi and Todd are producing a play – “A Mother’s Love,” starring Kandi Burruss and Porsha Steward. It opened last night and they received a standing ovation from a sold out crowd. Don Juan was tweeting up a storm supporting both Kandi and Todd (if anyone was wondering where he stood with Todd these days.) It’s no secret that I think Kandi is the real deal and Bravo is lucky she took a chance on the show. Below is a shot of the play – retweeted by Don Juan.
Enjoying this play. Get it guL ! 💗 Kandi
And for all you Cynthia Bailey fans. She’s the first housewife with a doll … no kidding.
Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Blogs Blogged by RamonaCoaster
Kenya Moore – Bashing Kordell
My heart goes out to anyone suffering a loss… be that physical, emotional, or financial, etc. I never want to see anyone suffer for any reason. If my friend were going through a divorce, I would counsel her not to publicly bash her ex. Marriages do end, feelings do change, and people grow apart. Such is life. We are imperfect and unpredictable. When life happens and results in loss, pain can manifest itself as anger. However, when one repeatedly and relentlessly slanders their soon-to-be ex husband by consistently and purposely gay bashing and slandering them, that crosses a hard line.
Aren’t you the woman last year who gay bashed her ex Walter? It is hypocritical of her to speak about Walter then say Porsha should not slander Kordell. Is someone jealous that Porsha has a legitimate storyline for the show? She was a housewife.
The hideous dress was from her first failed marriage. I was having some fun in my goofy way. I twirled and twerked all over that house hunty! It was fun!
Is that your audition for Glee producers? If it is, I think you need to work on it some more. Good thing the police didn’t see Kenya twirling and twerking in a wedding dress. She might have been put in a 5150 (72 hour psych hold).
Cynthia Bailey – Cynthia Gets Her Healthy Back
Cynthia opens up blog by providing a detailed lesson on fibroids in the first part of her blog so if anyone wants to learn about it you could read it in her blog. I just happened to catch Dr Oz when Camille Grammer came on to talk about endometrial cancer. Apparently both fibroids and endometrial cancer can cause abnormal bleeding. It is an obvious symptom you cannot ignore.
It has been about five months since I actually had the procedure (the recovery time was only one week), and I feel great! But this was only Step 1. I am a woman of a certain age, and I knew it was time to make a real investment in my health. This situation made me realize that I can no longer afford to take my health for granted. Step 2: I have since started on the Genovive health management program (Genovive.com). They send me my meals monthly to ensure that not only I am eating enough food a day, but also that I am eating healthy food, as well as the right proportions every day. I also work out three days a week. I have lost all the weight in my stomach area (and back! LOL!), and my clothes are sliding on with ease. I am happy, sex is great (no we didn’t hit the lottery yet LOL!), and we are up to three times a week on a good week! I feel so blessed to have my healthy back! I don’t know about you guys but I want to live a long and health life.
It is great that Cynthia is focusing on her health. She now has the energy she needs to focus on getting her husband to be less of a d-ck.
The Lawyer – Shares some wisdom from her new book
Last week was one of the most exciting weeks of my life. My book Secrets of the Southern Belle was released on Tuesday.
That must make Apollo and your two sons feel great. I figured the most exciting weeks of your life would be getting married, giving birth to your children, that sort of thing. But no, it’s when your book came out.
I would like to believe that most people have good intentions, because really, who actually wants the rest of the world to think they were raised by wolves? However, the truth is, some people could use some extra help. If you ever have the pleasure of spending time in the South, you can readily note the fundamentally different way southerners interact with people. People who are not from the South are often confused or genuinely surprised when they experience true southern hospitality.
Smiling at someone in a NYC subway may get some unwanted attention from a deranged lunatic. That is why no one makes eye contact riding the tube. Luann already wrote an etiquette book that bombed. Why follow in her footsteps?
Unfortunately, as we see more migration from other parts of the world, we also see an increase of poor manners and rude behavior.
So do you mean people from other parts of the world are responsible for the increasing bad behavior of society?
And I’d like to think we try to be considerate. We aren’t in as much of a hurry, so we’ll let somebody get in line in front of us if asked nicely. We are especially kind to the elderly and the infirm. We do favors for people. We are warm, but at the same time we are formal, which is why we are always well groomed. Some of these habits, which some might consider old-fashioned –like writing notes and sending flowers — are very charming and endearing, as you will learn on your way to becoming a Southern Belle.
I guess, according to you, the rest of the world is not as well groomed and well-behaved as Southerners. I’ve always enjoyed her overplaying the crowd with her dancing ballerinas, boughetto rhinestone eyes & Kentucky-derby style hats while winking at us. With her new shtick, I’m still looking for the punch line. She will completely gloss over and not address her husband’s behavior during the family photo session in this week’s blog. Maybe she should include that civility and generosity begins at home.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Blogs Blogged by Stars99
Brandi starts her blog by telling us why she broke up with her real estate boyfriend, conveniently just after she used his “services” to make sure she got a good deal on her new home.
Brandi starts off saying, “So after he got me my dream rental the day prior, I text my “boyfriend” JR, saying “Let’s go out and celebrate!” He texts me back “Just randomly, last minute boarded a plane to Austin for a music festival with a bunch of my ‘couples friends’ and will be back in a few days…” In my head I go to the “super shady” place, and I don’t need this again. There was no invite, no discussion, and no mention of a trip to me. He just decided to up and go — which is fine if you’re a single guy, but not if you’re telling me you want to be my boyfriend. So we broke up… again! JR and I are Brokeback Mountain-style — “We just can’t quit each other.” Ugh.”
Oh Brandi, if you were truly “Brokeback Mountain-style”, wouldn’t your name would be Bob. Just sayin’… Yeah, there are a lot of issues when someone dates you, I’m sure. I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to date you – not only because you’re you… but because of your twitteritus. Who would want every facet of their personal relationship to be broadcasted out to the public ALL the freakin’ time?
Brandi writes, “Let the games begin! Watching the show back is always taxing and exhausting. While I do believe that Lisa fainted, I had to give her a bit of a hard time about it because it was oh sooo pretty. Maybe when she fainted she hit her head — that would explain her recent memory loss of a certain conversation we had. I am many many things, but a liar isn’t one of them, and you will see who the real liar is as you watch this season.”
Awww Brandi, there’s so much packed into this little gem of a paragraph. First of all, you NOW say you believe that Lisa actually fainted? You didn’t act like that at all during the filming of the episode… You were very quick to jump on the fake faint bandwagon in the limo but then you turned it around at Carlton’s house when you pretended to Lisa that you weren’t even part of the fake faint discussion while you were too busy pointing your messy accusing fingers towards Kyle. I totally understand giving Lisa a hard time about her fainting, because you’re right – she did faint “pretty.” Don’t we all hate her for that? I’m teling you, if I fainted on national TV I’m pretty danged sure that my legs would have splayed out, my hair would have been disheveled, and my clothes would have been all wonky. The thing is Brandi, you were laughing at Lisa’s fainting behind her back. Do it to her face, next time so she can laff WITH you. Then you talk about Lisa’s recent alleged “memory loss” – Of course you’re alluding to the fact that Lisa did not publicly back up your vulgar remarks about Joanna of RHOM. Of course not – Mohammed is a close family friend of Lisa’s! This may be foreign to you, but friends don’t divulge secrets other friends have told them to a national audience. Their lips are sealed and the secret remains safely in a vault – No matter how drunk the friend may or may not have been when they said it. And finally, you ominously foreshadow,“you will see who the real liar is as you watch this season.” Really? We already know – You guys are all big, fat liars of one sort of another. Just in this episode alone, you, yourself held back the truth of what YOU said in the limo with Kyle regarding the fake fainting when you were explaining what happened to Lisa… Withholding salient portions of the truth is the same as lying in my book, because you’re misrepresenting what actually happened, you hypocritical dunderhead.
Brandi goes on to say that she was shocked to read about Lisa’s health issues because she didn’t know anything about them. She tells us that for almost a year, she and Lisa had been daily talking on the phone and they were hanging out together constantly. Brandi says she likes Carlton’s “miniature castle” of a house and relates to Carlton because they both curse and because they’re both raising young children and are passionate about their families. So, why aren’t you also friendly with Joyce? Oh, prolly cuz she doesn’t cuss like you, huh? Honestly, I’m shocked Brandi remembers to consider the repercussions on her children at all when it comes to RHOBH. Oh, and Twitter – she seems to forget them when she’s ranting on Twitter, too.
Brandi tries to explain away her another vulgar use of the term “C U Next Tuesday” – by telling us that Carlton’s best friend had used a form of that word in describing Carlton in a good way so she assumed it was “safe to repeat this.” Right… It’s fine to repeat this on national television. This makes perfect sense to me. Who uses that term to describe other women? Are we so adjective-challenged these days that we’ve run out of appropriate descriptive words to describe a woman? Brandi – I encourage you to listen to “The Grammarheads’ Hey! Adjectives” song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_TmWClYse0… If that’s too advanced for you – You could also listen to the Schoolhouse Rock “Unpack your Adjectives” song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y5SlAZIkTI. Plus, didn’t we all learn the lesson in kindergarten that we shouldn’t do or say things just because others do or say them? My Mom would say, “If so-and-so played on a freeway, would you go and do it?” Ummm… no… Everyone knows it’s way more fun to go jump in a lake, duh! (I can’t even imagine what a smart aleck I was as a kid… lol… my Mom’s was a saint!)…
Brandi concludes, “As far as Kyle and the story of Mauricio’s infidelity goes, I actually found out about this article coming out ahead of time and gave Kyle and Mauricio a head’s up so that they could try and squash it. I would never wish for a family to be torn apart by gossip, and, although it’s not clear now, I really was looking out for the wellbeing of Kyle’s family and didn’t believe the silly rumors anyhow. I know firsthand the damage it can have on a family — true or not. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I have a stomach flu, so goodnight.”
Wow… so NICE of you to give them a “heads-up” on the gossip and then turn around and bring it up while filming during a “get to know you” kind of gathering. So, so very kind of you. Gee, you really are a girl’s girl, aren’t you? You were in this exact situation in your life and yet you show such little compassion for Kyle’s position. You could have left it to others to bring it up as a subject if indeed was Bravo that insisted it be discussed at that point on camera… but no, you decided to do it yourself. Good job! What an awesome, hypocritical, ignorant, and adjective-challenged giant of a small minded person you are… Oh, and by the way, no one has their friends over to their house so they can watch them bathe in a bathtub while filming a tv show… No one does this… not ever! I wonder if Brandi, too, has a small head? Hmmm… Again, looks around for the tape measure to measure my own head… and decides once again that size doesn’t matter.
Carlton starts this week’s novella (blog) by telling us that similar to so many people that she didn’t have “the most positive childhood.” She alludes to times of darkness – but really doesn’t tell us about what she experienced… which is fine – it’s really none of my business. She then promises that, “What I believe and practice now is only Light.” She then tells us, “You will still have those scars, but unconditional love of oneself and self-forgiveness are our spiritual healers.” I think she’s telling us to put away the broomsticks, cauldrons and pointy hats because she’s all about light and life.
She then starts to talk about having everyone over for lunch and that she decided it would be indoors – Thus, ensuring she could bring up bee-gate once again. I don’t think she realizes that she was the one stung in the end last week… but okay.
Carlton blogs, “Elizy, my bfff and nanny to my son, was going to help me setup — but with her and I, not much would get accomplished. She truly brings out the naughtiness and silliness in me. She says the most inappropriate things, and I love her. Carmina, a wonderful lady, would take care of my son, and my hubby would pick up our girls from school. I also had some of my girlfriends helping me out, which would be fun. They’re incredible and there is nothing more beautiful than a secure, smart girl who embraces other women and isn’t bloody insecure or jealous. When you have girlfriends, it is about empowering each other and wanting the best for them. For me, the beauty of a person is of course relative, and what I find beautiful, someone may not. But it has to start from within. I love me a good soul!”
Honestly, I found your comment that you like to surround your young son with beautiful women a little creepy. Perhaps if had you used another way to describe them – it would have at least seemed less superficial. Your comment implied that you’re specifically training your son to gravitate towards “pretty” people – when everything about you kind of screams that you look for other qualities in others. Plus, the way you were kind of flirting with Elizy was a bit odd. I think there’s probably several layers of your “relationship” and I hope we don’t have the pleasure of finding out about them.
Carlton then talks about how Yolanda was the first to arrive and that they had a lot of time to talk before everyone else got there. Carlton says that Yolanda went out of her way to make her feel welcomed when they first met at Kyle’s party. First impressions are really important to Carlton an dshe calls Yolanda “stunning.” Carlton writes, “We sat at the bar for awhile and spoke about our children, of course, and how edible babies are. I’m sure there a few out there that may think I eat my young! I promise I don’t… at least not lately! She has a wicked sense of humor and is quite spiritual, which was also a pleasant surprise. Initially I wasn’t familiar with Lyme Disease, but what this woman has been through and endures daily truly shows her warrior spirit. It’s inspiring.”
Gotta give it to Carlton for laughing at herself, “a few out there that may think I may eat my young! I promise I don’t… at least not lately!” That was an hysterical comment and one that she saved me from saying at one point or another this season. Thank you, Carlton. Carlton was honestly hoping that she, Kyle and Joyce had just got off to the wrong foot at Kyle’s party. She was all smiles when they and Brandi arrived. She really instantly clicked with Brandi because she’s completely uncensored and she likes her sense of humor. She’s also impressed that Brandi has been able to take care of herself financially after her divorce.
Carlton blogs, “Anyway we barely had walked into the barroom when immediately Kyle asks if I was raised Catholic? Oh bloody hell here we go! Maybe it’s me, but when I’m welcomed into the home of someone I’m relatively new to meeting, religion is not usually the first question I lead with. At least my girlfriend AC and I got a giggle. But it was a probable indication as to how the rest of the day would go with this one… Oh joy.”
I call “foul” on this one… Carlton, your home is filled with crosses and you have a Catholic confessional sitting in your bar area. It is a completely fair question in my book. Actually, if they thought about it… having the confessional in your bar area smacks of anti-Catholic tendencies. It’s a little offensive especially when you imply about the kinds of things that have gone on inside that confessional. You’re like the girl who dyes her hair purple and orange and then complains when people comment about it. It’s hypocritical or at the very least delusional. You can’t expect to put this stuff in your house without it causing a conversation. I mean, isn’t that WHY it’s in your house in the first place?
Carlton blogs, “Then Lisa arrives looking glamorous in pink with beautiful roses, which made me smile. As we enter the barroom Kyle, Kim, and Joyce scurry off to check out my “killer dolls” (I’m still smiling). My husband started buying porcelain dolls for me when we first started going out and each one serves as a beautiful memory. No shock here but Kyle, Kim, and Joyce got creeped out by my gorgeous collection of dolls… that did make me laugh. Hey girls two words for you ‘Puppet Master!’”
That’s really kewl of your husband to do that. Perhaps if the dolls weren’t housed in such an obviously and ostentatiously gothic house it wouldn’t have hit them as being a little weird. I think it’s going to be a lot of fun watching Carlton play with the likes of Kyle, Kim and Joyce. She’s like a black cat who loves to play with a mouse. I think they have no idea what they’re in for… it will be so much fun to watch!
Carlton blogs, “In the barroom I guess there was some debate about Lisa’s faint on Dancing With the Stars. I didn’t see it at the time, but recently got a chance to watch her dance and thought she did a fantastic job! I’d say six weeks is pretty impressive to be on DWTS, but to take the piss out of her fainting is pretty sad considering the ones who questioned it the one I most thought was her friend… But you know what they say “who needs enemies”? Of course, understandably Lisa looked hurt.”
Yeah, it’s not so fun to be made fun of behind your back… although arguably, Lisa dishes it out, too. It just made Kyle and Kim look so small, IPPHO™®©
Carlton writes, “We joined Lisa outside, and Kim asks about what she refers to as the “magic balls.” Throughout my house and garden I have witches’ balls, gazing balls, glass reflective spheres and crystal balls, which have been around since the 13th century. (Well not these actual ones, but they are absolutely fascinating and equally is their story.) A witch ball is made from brightly colored glass with strands of glass inside, it’s believed to entrap any negative energy enticed by its colors. It’s also used for protection to ward off evil spells, sickness, and ill fortune — plus any negative energy threatening a home’s tranquility. Witch balls traditionally were hung in an east window, but I think you can decide where you prefer to place it. Gazing balls are usually mirrored and are predominately solid in color. They were used to scare away negative spirits caused by forcing the spirits to see their own reflections.”
Well, they obviously don’t work – there was a whole lot of negativity in that house that day.
Carlton continues, “And then Kyle out of the blue, actually probably on cue for her, asks “Have you ever explored with witchcraft?” Oh for f— sakes! I honestly have no problem answering any questions about my faith as long as I feel comfortable that you are coming from a genuine place of interest. But when it’s obvious you’re intending to ask for shock value only, amongst a group of girls that I’m just getting to know, and that you actually don’t give a toss… Um bite me.”
Puhleeze, we heard in Episode 1 that you were a witch. YOU’RE the one who put it out there. But yes, Kyle also wants to add drama to each episode because that way she’s assured a job. You’ll learn that sad truth. Talk to Marisa. ( I know, Marisa, who?) lol.
Carlton blogs, “I’m really not surprised with Kyle’s primitive and disparaging remarks about witchcraft, brooms, and spells etc. What’s surprising is that she wasn’t sucked into one of the witch balls. But alas they are probably not big enough for that kind of dense energy (still smiling). Seriously what’s disheartening is considering how far we have evolved as a society with respect to religion, sexual preference, and ethnicity with all this progress made — when did it suddenly become OK to have such an overt prejudice against someone’s non-traditional religion? If she made those type of offensive remarks about any other traditional religion she would be in hot bloody water! And I’m not talking a cauldron!”
I’m shocked that anyone would talk about broomsticks around witches. It’s such an obvious and tired lame joke. You’re right, I think we all should be more genuinely interested in other belief systems no matter what we believe ourselves. We should be respectful of someone’s right to believe what they wish to believe. But at least you’re smiling about it… Perhaps you’re happier than a witch in a broom factory! (Sorry, obligatory Geiko commercial reference that can be accessed at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJm8WVsCT6U)
Carlton admits that there were times when she and Kyle laughed for a moment here and there – but those moments were overshadowed when she took Kyle on a tour of her house. Upon seeing the cross above Carlton’s bed, Kyle wondered if Carlton felt guilty about have sex with a cross above her bed. Ummm… No… don’t you think God is fully aware of the sexual act and depending on your belief system is the one who actually created it? Without being aware of it, it kind of showed a glimpse into how Kyle looks at sex. However, Kyle’s Mom, according to her sister’s book was a little wonky in the sex department and passed that on to her darling daughters. Carlton also didn’t respond well to Kyle’s comment, “this house makes me want to get the Ouija board out.” Carlton lost all hope for Kyle at that point. I kinda secretly hoped that Carlton would whip out an Ouija board and really flip her out… lol.
Carlton blogs, “We are all having lunch and unfiltered Brandi compliments me with the “c word.” I didn’t find it offensive because I have friends that use that word. I’m not a huge fan of it, but it’s nothing I haven’t heard. I’m bloody English. It’s not that unusual. It just depends on the way it’s intended. So why wasn’t I up in arms by what she said? Well it’s quite simple, I like Brandi. Kyle, on the other hand, feels the need to consistently and blatantly throw insults combined with her show of utter-disrespect and obvious prejudice for my faith. It’s just a constant indicator of what an ignoramus she is, so it is rather simple.”
So basically, are you saying that if you like someone they can say whatever they want and if you don’t like them, they could say the exact same thing as someone you like but that you would tear them a new one? Wow. Well, at least you “own” your hypocriticalness.
Carlton talks about Joyce’s comment that I’ve evidently forgotten regarding the size of her husband’s infamous “pee pee.” Can we puhleeze stop talking about this? Seriously… Moving on…
Carlton blogs, “Suddenly it gets heavy at the table when Brandi asks Kyle about the tabloid rumors of her husband’s cheating. But Kyle isn’t comfortable being put on the spot in front of everyone regarding such a personal subject… Interesting I muse, double standard me thinks. Lisa subsequently gives Kyle great advice about letting it go when it comes to negative publicity or rumors. I personally think if there’s negativity out there about you, of course it’s hard not to be hurt and affected. But don’t give it any energy. Just focus on what’s truly important, your loving and supportive family. There will always be people out there wishing you ill. Just don’t feed it.”
There is a BIG difference in asking someone if they’re Catholic vs. talking about the allegations of your husband cheating on you. Let’s be honest. But I’m really mad at you Carlton, it’s because of your negative comments that I have felt the need to defend Kyle … and that really, really makes me cranky… so STOP it… lol. I’m including the last paragraph of Carlton’s blog in its entirety and without any correction… cuz it really made me laff.
Carlton concludes, “Believe it or not I have made allowances for Kyle’s negative behavior towards me, as I know she’s obviously going through a hard time with the alleged cheating rumors, and I’m sure its taken a troll on her in many ways.”
It’s taken a “troll” on her? I completely died laffin’ cuz that’s the kind of Freudian typo I often make myself. Why am I suddenly thinking of the children’s fairy tale, “Three Billy Goats Gruff?”… lol!
Joyce Giraud de Ohoven
Joyce starts, “Hola mis amores!” Ack… gag… puhleeze stop. Joyce says, “I’m back from China and still crazy jet lagged. I had one of the most beautiful trips and a very memorable time. Working with UNESCO is something I will always cherish. We helped Thirst in their program to educate children throughout China. I don’t want to bore you all with how much I love my charity; I just want to create awareness to the fact that it is our social responsibility to give back and to educate our future.”
I’ve gotta say that Joyce seems to be very invested in her philanthropic endeavors. I love that. I kind of give Joyce a pass on almost everything that happens this season just because of her last sentence, “I just want to create awareness to the fact that it is our social responsibility to give back and to educate our future.” I love, love, LOVE it… and I wholeheartedly concur. That being said, don’t we all know that I have no intention of actually giving Joyce a pass on anything? Yeah, we can dream…
Joyce blogs, “Now, to what you all want to hear — the down low of this week’s episode.” I’m pretty sure that “down low” is not how the cool kids refer to it. Joyce, you keep things on the “down low”… I’m pretty sure you meant something different like maybe you meant “low-down”? But you know what? You’re not writing in your native language so I give you a pass… Well, I guess I kinda didn’t since I did call you out on it. But truth be told, it would be scary for me to write a blog in Spanish, Greek or Hebrew – all subjects of which I took throughout my scholastic career. I’m around a lot of multilingual people and it’s always fun to hear what they come up with. English is a very tricky language… Joyce then talks about her husband and how wonderful he is… blahdiddity blah blah blah…
And because clearly, Joyce hasn’t stepped down from her beauty pageant podium, she writes, “My mother is my inspiration and one of the proudest moments for her was when I finished my two bachelor degrees. She always taught me that looks fade, but an education is with you forever and gives you all the tools to succeed in life.”
Sage words of wisdom but I get the feeling that Joyce is trying way too hard to be likeable. Joyce talks a little about the pageant she created… and for some reason I’m getting bored. Plus she talked about Donald Trump. Not a fan of the Donald. She then goes into a story about when she first moved to Los Angeles and how she first chose to stay at the “Pretty Woman” hotel even though it was way too expensive for her. She quickly found out The Regent Beverly Wilshire was out of her price range so she decided she needed to move to a cheaper hotel which was “the Hilton.” Only in Beverly Hills, would staying at “the Hilton” be slumming it. I couldn’t help but giggle at that. The cheapest room is about $525 for a Saturday night at the Beverly Wilshire vs. $239 at the Hilton. Fortunately, it all worked out in the end because she found a place to stay and was able to convince her gay best friend to also move to L.A. She said she felt very “Will and Grace.” Of course at this point, I need to toss out a shout out to “Just Jack!” Hope he’s doing well, BB!
Joyce blogs, “When we were in the limo the girls were talking about Lisa’s faint being fake. I told them I hadn’t seen it and that she didn’t strike me as a faker. I honestly thought they were joking around. I didn’t think they were questioning their friend. After all, Brandi always said Lisa was her BFF so I didn’t think she could really be making fun of her.”
Are you sure you watched all the previous episodes? Obviously, you don’t know these women too well yet…
Joyce writes, “When I saw the episode, I was shocked at Brandi’s audacity to tell Lisa that “they” (aka the girls in the limo) were making fun of her faint when she was the one who made the most fun of it. This raised a red flag for me with Brandi, but I still gave her the benefit of the doubt because just one incident isn’t enough to make a real opinion on someone.”
Yeah, the “truth canon” lied. I’m shocked, I tell you. Absolutely shocked.
Joyce continues, “After what she told Lisa, I can see why Lisa was upset and very distant with me. There was a small “incident” that happened while Carlton was giving us a tour of her home and In that moment I thought Lisa was being rude or dismissive but after watching how Brandi set it up I can completely understand Lisa not being so warm towards me.”
Wow… a housewife giving another housewife the benefit of a doubt? Joyce is surely not going to last long on this franchise.
Joyce blogs, “When we arrived at Carlton’s house I thought it was gorgeous! Very grand and goth! She was very nice and opened the gift I brought her. I bonded with her beautiful nanny and her friend AC and I never thought Carlton had a problem with me so you can understand how her comments in her interviews are a shock to me. . .even a bit hurtful coming from someone who NEVER told me she had a problem with me. I know we all went through this journey, but the blogs are written now and to be so mean and judgmental is uncalled for, especially from a person who says she hates labels. She was quite quick to label me on day one in her blog (never to my face).”
Yeah, Carlton is way ahead of you in the housewives game, Joyce… You’re gonna hafta run to catch up. Don’t you know you’re SUPPOSED to talk negatively about each other behind their back? They need those awesome reunion ratings. Joyce goes on to say that she thought she had a great conversation with Carlton after she watched the 1st episode and that Carlton had said she had her back 100%. It was pretty clear without the talking heads, that Carlton was miffed with Joyce from the beginning… so I’m not sure if Joyce is riding on a boat down DeNile… or if she just always stays on the sunny side of life. Joyce wishes Carlton would have been honest with her and that it’s tough to take her comments when Carlton has always smiled to her face. I thought Joyce was a pageant girl… shouldn’t she be used to this? Dontcha know that smiling faces sometimes, hey, they don’t tell the truth? The following clip combines some great music with Charlie Brown… I know, I was surprised to find it…lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-r3ZQjIlNI
Joyce was surprised that Carlton was absolutely fine with Brandi calling her a “C U Next Tuesday” but then flips out at anything Kyle says to her. But Joyce is glad that Carlton at least attacks Kyle openly, while she feels Carlton’s attacks towards her were only behind her back.
Joyce continues, “I thought Kyle’s question (“Were you raised Catholic, because you have all the crosses?”) was very valid given that the house is almost church-like — with an uncountable amount of crosses, an altar, and even a confessional booth. When people meet, it’s small talk. It doesn’t mean Kyle was trying to be offensive or provocative. At least I didn’t see it that way. What I did see was how rude Carlton’s reaction was.”
Yep, Carlton overreacted and was rude. This is why it looks like Carlton’s longevity on the show looks very secure.
OooooOo Joyce calls Carlton out, “Yolanda can call Carlton a “sexy hexe,” which means sexy witch in Dutch (By the way I do think she is a very sexy witch but that’s besides the point LOL), but Kyle asking if she practiced witchcraft immediately offends her. Stop saying you are a “girl’s girl” and that women are great if they would only get out of each other’s way when you are so easily offended by certain girls that have done nothing to you. Yet, you seem so happy to receive the word c— or witch from other girls? Don’t say you are a girl’s girl, then talk trash about the girls around you if you can’t tell them to their face!”
Joyce writes, “After Brandi brought up her vaginal reconstruction, all of us girls were having a fun about it. When Kyle asked me if I would ever do that, I jokingly told her I’m so tight if I had a nip and tuck it wouldn’t fit. Out-of-context, I can understand this being odd, but I don’t feel the need to apologize for being inappropriate because we were ALL talking about it. It didn’t just come out of the blue, so if Carlton felt the need to throw up she should have done so and she should have told me to my face!”
Oh, now I remember this comment… Yeah, I actually have to give it to Joyce on this one… She was bragging about her husband in front of the girls… while I wouldn’t have said that particular thing… I’m tired of housewives that tear down their husbands in front of their friends.
Joyce then tells us how great she is… Not sure why, but she does. She says she’s “bubbly, open, and fun because I genuinely LOVE life.” Sigh. Then she starts to talk about Kyle and how badly she feels for her. Joyce doesn’t understand how Brandi and Kyle could have been setting up a play date only a couple of hours earlier and then Brandi throws Kyle and her husband under the bus with the infidelity rumors. Joyce is not happy about that and doesn’t think that’s something a “friend” would do. Joyce then says some wonderful things about Kyle and her family.
Joyce concludes, “Spreading rumors or even bringing up rumors to potentially try to endanger such a beautiful family is a big NO! YOU DO NOT MESS WITH FAMILY!!!”
Well yes, unless you’re a Beverly Hills housewife.
Kim starts he blog by saying how proud she was of Brandi that she put her foot down regarding her relationship with JR because it wasn’t going in the direction that Brandi wanted it to. I think on WWHL Brandi said that this relationship is on again off again.
Kim writes, “Watching Gigi and Yolanda really touched my heart as I have had so many moments like that with my kids. Especially with Kimberly just starting college, it is bittersweet to see your kids go off into the world and grow up. I am a crier too, and my kids would have said the same thing to me that Gigi did to Yolanda. Sorry kids, but one day you will understand!”
The thing I will say about Kim, is that she is very into her kids. Now, she also is a recovering alcoholic – so I’m sure that impaired those relationships – but those kids know she loves them completely and totally. That’s not something everyone can say.
Kim continues, “On our way to the luncheon the girls and I discussed our thoughts on Lisa’s faint on Dancing With the Stars. We playfully joked that we thought it was overly dramatic and almost seemed a little fake. I know this may have come across as rude and mean-spirited, but at the end of the day we were really just “laughing with her” as you say.”
Kim, you weren’t “laughing with her” because Lisa wasn’t in the car. Give me a break! Plus… we already saw your talking head when you fell over… and last week’s episode where you and Kyle openly mocked it. Nice try on spinning it differently… Didn’t work, at least not on me. Kim goes on to say that she didn’t know about Lisa’s medical issues. Kim then says about FaintGate 2013™®©, “If it was real then I apologize for my suspicions, and if it wasn’t then I commend her for a beautiful fall.” At least she apologized.
Kim blogs, “Carlton’s house was very beautiful, and I love her taste. I felt like I had stepped into a fairy tale land. Her doll collection was very interesting, and it almost seemed like they could come alive at night. I appreciate her unique style and edginess.”
You’d better escape back to “Witch Mountain” cuz those dolls are after you, Kim! Kim concludes her short blog by talking about the conversation regarding unfaithfulness involving Kyle and Mauricio. Kim tells us that when her sister is sad then she is sad. Kim thinks there is a time and place for everything and she believes that the conversation about Mauricio’s alleged infidelity should never have been brought up.
Kyle starts, “This week we get a glimpse into Joyce’s life with her family at home. Her boys are adorable, and her husband Michael couldn’t be nicer! Mauricio and I immediately liked both of them when we first met at The Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce party. They are both kind people who are very happy together. I love seeing that.”
Okay, that was nice… But I’m kind of waiting for the shoe to drop, are you?
Kyle writes, “On our way to Carlton’s for lunch, the girls and I discussed Lisa’s faint on Dancing With The Stars. We all knew Lisa was fine and were joking like she would have with us if roles were reversed. Lisa said in last week’s blog that she had been plagued with health issues. Blood transfusions, anemia, brain scans, fainting spells, etc. I had NEVER heard this in all the time I have known Lisa. NEVER.”
Kyle, you’re missing the point – You joke with someone when they’re around. Sigh. Plus, a couple of the other housewives have said that they never knew about Lisa’s medical conditions… It almost seems like they think Lisa is lying about them… or is it just my cynical Bravo-weary eyes reading too much in between the lines?
Kyle writes, “We arrived at Carlton’s and I was immediately intrigued. It feels like a church when you step inside, between the architecture and so many crosses. I grew up Catholic and converted to Judaism and am very open about that. When I asked Carlton what religion she is, I was surprised she was so offended. She said in her interview that it’s rude to ask someone their religion the first time you meet. A) It was the third time we met, not the first and B) I didn’t ask that to be rude.”
Yeah, Carlton was out of line. I have a feeling I’m going to be saying that a lot this season…lol. Kyle tells us that she’s proud of her religion and she wouldn’t feel offended if someone asked her about it. She explains that she saw all the crosses and was simply curious. Kyle then writes, “It is very clear NOW that Carlton did not want to like me. I was clueless and actually liked her.” Yeah, you’re not Carlton’s favorite at this point of time, Kyle. But it’s okay, I’m not sure if Carlton dislikes you or Joyce more… Only time will tell.
Kyle writes, “I had heard that Carlton was a Wiccan or “witch” and was curious what that meant. When she was talking about her “witches balls” in her garden, I decided to ask her. NOT a good idea. In an attempt to make conversation and get to know her better, I clearly pissed her off again.”
Clearly, you haven’t read the “Carlton’s Rules on Wiccan Etiquette” before you arrived. She talks about how Carlton asked her to sit at the head of the table and that she knew she’d hear a catty comment about it. Of course, Lisa didn’t disappoint!
Kyle writes, “When Brandi said that Carlton was edgy and a “c—” I almost fell off my chair. I was thinking Carlton was going to say something back to her but it seems Brandi can do no wrong and EVERYTHING I do IS wrong.”
Yep – That about sums it up. Kyle then talks about how Brandi brought up the tabloid stories about Mauricio’s infidelity. This whole thing was causing her family great pain and it was the last thing she wanted to talk about at that point of time. She just tried to keep a“straight face with a lump in my throat.”
Kyle continues, “Lisa in one breath will say, “Oh, it’s all nonsense. You can’t pay attention,” then when Yolanda went to say something (once again), Lisa quickly jumped in saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” If you’re my “friend,” why would you say that to cast doubt in everyone’s minds? For me, that was a pivotal moment in our relationship. They would say they didn’t believe the lies but still wanted to bring them up and cast doubt. I needed support from these women at a time that was clearly difficult. I have never been the subject of tabloid lies before this, and I was clearly not equipped. I wanted to just brush it off and “act” like it was no big deal like everyone had been telling us to do, but I just could not. That’s not who I am. We could not believe that there are people in the world that would lie to make money and try to hurt us. I left Carlton’s house in tears and with a clearer understanding of who my friends are…”
Wait, I thought you were from Beverly Hills, dahling. Are you trying to say that neither you nor your family have never been the subject of tabloid stories? Really? Wow.
Lisa starts, “And so the story unfolds…” Lisa thanks everyone for their kind comments and for their support after she had to “relive that moment of weakness” last week… or FaintGate 2013™®© Lisa talks more about it and her medical issues… but I’m honestly tired of the subject. Let’s move on, shall we? Lisa said that the “unequivocal support from my husband and daughter” made her smile after being voted off of “Dancing with the Stars.”
Lisa writes, “We witness all the ladies (I use that term loosely) in the limo on the way to Carlton’s. I am disappointed but not surprised to see how gleefully Kyle initiated the conversation of my last performance on DWTS. It was as if they relished me being voted off DWTS.”
Well, I don’t know if they “relished” you being voted off – I think somehow they thought you wanted to be voted off. Well, and they didn’t believe that you actually fainted cuz you did it so gracefully.
Lisa says, “I arrive and immediately sensed something amiss. The only hope I voice is that Brandi, to whom I have been incredibly supportive, would stand in my corner. But when I view the footage, I realize that was not so.”
Yep, Brandi is a big, fat liar-face.
Lisa blogs, “Carlton’s house is a little different — an unusual mélange of gothic architecture coupled with obscure design statements. It’s a beautiful but rather different, shall we say, but I admire the courage and conviction in how she lives her life. I have embraced and accepted her eccentricities and beliefs. It’s not something I particularly relate to, but I am positive she is a good-hearted soul.”
I’ll have to take your word for it. I haven’t seen much of the “good-hearted soul” part of Carlton yet.
Lisa continues, “At the lunch Brandi calls Carlton a nice c—. Sorry, unacceptable! We might be friends, but that stank of her feeling the necessity to be controversial, which is getting a little old.”
And the fracture in Lisa and Brandi’s relationship widens…
Lisa writes of Brandi, “She then brought up the subject of Mauricio in the tabloid. You already know my feelings about that, and I quickly said that it was nonsense, dismiss it as it is not worth the paper it is written on. I have had similar stories written in the same magazine about me and Ken, and I have given it the credence it deserved – zero. So I urged Kyle to do the same. Do I believe there is smoke without fire? Oh yes, plumes of it, that billow from these vapid pages that strive to humiliate and demean us. That is part of the territory and what we signed up for.”
The thing is Lisa, you got all miffed about such a small thing as people not believing that you actually fainted. Accusations of infidelity are a whole nuther Oprah. If these rumors were about Ken, you would have a different perspective on it.
Lisa writes, “Now I am not standing here defending Kyle because of what an incredibly supportive friend she has been to me, no, I am defending the principle. I believe them to have a strong, loyal marriage, and to let a tabloid define and depict what you have worked so hard for is utterly ridiculous. She should ignore it and focus on the things that are of more importance.”
I can almost see the sarcasm dripping slowly down her pen about Kyle being an “incredibly supportive friend.” However, Lisa is firmly behind Kyle against these rumors. Gotta give her that…
Yolanda H. Foster
Yolanda wrote a brief explanation about why she couldn’t blog this week. It was because she was in the hospital and she doesn’t “have much juice to think or write.” She promises to return to blogging next week and she hopes we’ll give her a “free pass.” Of course you can have a “free pass” – Who are you going to choose? Lolol… Sorry, I couldn’t resist… this is, after all… The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
See you at the same Bat Time, on the same Bat Channel next week! Happy trails!
A Little bit of History – Remembering JFK
(This was send to my FIL)