Shahs of Sunset “I don’t think Grizzly Bears eat Persians” by NMD
I’m beginning to think Reza and MJ deserve each other. The show starts with them fawning over each other as they get facials. MJ starts to cry and says Reza completes her – they were meant to be. No one else matters. But then she gets distracted by her shiny fingernails. Reza says that he needs to treat MJ well. But then he gets distracted about whether or not she is wearing panties under her short skirt. He drops on his knee, says he worships her and wants to treat her to a spa weekend. Okay – they aren’t quite that gushy but it was vomit inducing. Then Reza proves what an ass he is by interviewing that instead of taking MJ to a spa she’ll be his plus one for GG’s family rafting trip. He giggles about how much havoc that will cause. I hope they ditch him in the middle of the wilderness and he gets eaten by a grizzly bear.
Poor Mike is trying to prove his worth to Reza by arranging for advertising on the bus. He’s got a graphic artist lined up who tell him it’ll only cost $45,000 to do a shrink-wrap ad. Holy cannoli. Mike seems to understand he’s being ripped off – and suggests $25,000. They meet in the middle for $35,000 and he seems happy. Really? Do high end clients pick their realtors from the side of a bus?
Asa is up to something. I was mesmerized by her eyebrows and forgot to listen to what she was saying. I’m sure it was nonsense.
GG and her family are in the wilderness setting up their tents. Meanwhile, Reza drives MJ to the *cough* spa as she describes in detail all the things she’s looking forward to and studies her rather long and very blue fingernails. He giggles about how upset everyone will be when they show up. Let’s say it together. Reza is an ass.
Poor Mike. He’s such a disappointment to his mom. She – like me – thinks he’s a fool for buying the advertising on the bus. He tells her that he feels he made a mistake dropping out of law school, and she says it’s okay – we all make mistakes. He explains his business plan that involves going down the street and knocking on doors to drum up business, and she breaks it to him bluntly that he’s a lazy failure. He says he loves her – but she never supports him. I wonder why? Just then a bus dives up with his stupid ad. His mom says she loves it, but it probably won’t help him sell a house. Goodness he’s not a sharp tack. But at least he’s not mean.
Speaking of mean, MJ tries to flee when she realizes what Reza is up to, but there is no where to go. Eventually the camera crew convinces her to return. Okay – it’s sort of funny. She’s dressed all in white in her high heels and the rest of them are in casual camping clothes. GG bites her tongue and welcomes her. Luckily MJ brought a T-shirt and yoga pants, so she has something normal to wear. I will say this about these fools, they know how to roll with it and have fun. I wish I was rafting with them. Reza says that GG’s family is a bunch of hill billies and that they are acting white. I have to process that comment.
Then we get to the party pooper. Lilly takes Asa out to lunch to lecture her about how to be a good friend. Asa apologizes, but in her talking heads she’s mad that she’s been called out for not being a good friend. Let’s face it – none of these people are actually friends with Lilly – she was added to the cast because someone thought she’d be interesting. The rest of them really were friends and to varying levels have accepted her. Well MJ hasn’t, but the rest sort of have accepted her into the group. She’d better pull that stick out of her butt if she wants to be on the show next year.
Short segment where we learn that Reza never leaves the city. He’s excited to see geese and ducks (don’t they have those in the city) and wonders if there are fish in the river. Hmmm. I need to process that as well. I’ve spent so much of my life on rivers or in the wilderness, I can’t tell if I’m unusual or he is. Just as they are getting along, GG decides to demand an apology from MJ. MJ admits she’s not sorry, and I wonder if GG is going to push her out of the raft as they go through the rapids. She doesn’t.
But that’s not all. Around the campfire, Reza gets them to start fighting again. This is growing so tiring. In the meantime Reza acts like he’s never had a s’more before, and says that he’s going to have his Persian card revoked because they are acting like white people. He also says that he doesn’t think grizzly bears eat Persian. I’m pretty sure grizzly bears aren’t racist. As they continue their fight, MJ again says that she isn’t sorry.
Reza giggles and interviews that MJ never says she’s sorry. She’ll just try to convince GG that what she did was in GG’s best interest. Leila asks MJ if she ever says sorry. MJ says sorry not sorry. Everyone gives up at this point. It’s just a waste of time.
Vanderpump Rules – S3Ep04
Rumors – by HydrangeaHussy
We’re back for Episode 4. Jax has been modeling for 10 years, but now wants to move behind the camera. He’s using his modeling opportunities to “learn the ropes” in fashion. I just don’t see Jax running a fashion empire. He is modeling for Kitson with a young blonde. They discuss his ‘Stassi’ tattoo, and he points out that it’s the name of an ex. He tells her that he’s single, but doesn’t want to be. He asks if she would be ok dating a guy with another girl’s name on his arm. She says that she would get him in bed & scratch it off. But Jax says that all he can think about is Stassi.
The mean girls (Stassi, Kristen & Katie) are meeting up after yoga. Stassi miniature wines, since the restaurant doesn’t serve wine. Kristen says that she isn’t excited to go back to work at Sur, but that she can’t keep draining her savings. Stassi tells the girls that Jax asked to kiss her at the lake. Kristen points out that it just led Jax on. Kristen admits that she slept with Tom, which makes Katie excited b/c Kristen will stop complaining for a little while. Either tell Kristen that you’re done listening to her or stop complaining yourself. Jax & Tom are also meeting for lunch. He was excited to get back into modeling. Tom is also excited about the renewed relationship. He’s been trying to make more time for Kristen. Jax points out that the odds are against them. I think Tom & Kristen have better odds than Jax & Stassi. At least Kristen seems willing to forgive Tom.
At Sur, Jax is bartending. Kristina is waiting on Lisa & Ken. Lisa says that Kristen’s break has been enjoyable. Kristina admits that it’s been nice without her. Aren’t they supposed to be friends? Stassi asks Jax a/b the modeling shoot. He doesn’t mention the other girl until Stassi asks. She reminds him that she asked him not to model with girls anymore. Stassi gets annoyed b/c Jax didn’t tell her about the female model immediately. She storms off & he follows her outside. Stassi says that she’s allowed to model with men but Jax isn’t allowed to model with women. It’s been a year since they broke up & she expects him to still be following all of her rules in an attempt to get her back. Jax points out that he’s trying, that he loves her, that he got her name tattooed on him. Stassi isn’t over the cheating & says that it isn’t water under the bridge. Jax asks if he actually has a chance to get her back, she says that she doesn’t know. It’s pretty clear that Stassi isn’t going to ever forgive him. Jax just needs to move on.
Tom has been shopping. He brought Kristen flowers & some cute décor for their apartment. She seems to appreciate it. They sit down to discuss Kristen’s return to Sur. Tom advises her to explain the situation to Lisa. Kristen says that she’s already apologized. She doesn’t regret standing up to Lisa, but says that she’s glad that she wasn’t fired.
Lisa has finished the back bar. They still need new bartenders. Lisa believes that Other Tom is good, but that he would bring too much drama. Guillermo, Lisa’s partner, thinks that they need more women so Lisa suggests bringing Ariana over from Villa Blanca.
Jax arrives at Stassi’s apartment. She is surprised that he showed up after their fight at Sur. Jax brought wine & sandwiches to calm Stassi. She immediately brings up the modeling job. Jax points out that he hopes to have his sweater line in the store, so he took the job. Stassi puts down his idea by stating that he doesn’t know how to design sweaters. She doesn’t understand why he keeps trying when their friendship puts so much stress on him. He says that they have to go through the stress to get back to a good place. Jax has been watching lots of porn b/c he’s trying to show Stassi that he’s changed. Stassi asks Jax for help framing & hanging a print that her Dad sent. Jax says that she needs to lay the print out for a few days to get rid of the curl. She gets onto him & he ends up hanging the painting. Why is he trying so hard when she is so cruel & condescending to him?
Ariana arrives at Sur to meet with Lisa. I’m not digging the braid crown thing. Lisa reminds Ariana what she’s getting into – the cliques & the mean girls. Lisa says that Ariana is reliable & honest, which means she won’t fit in at Sur. Ariana says that she’ll handle crazy people for good tips. She tells Lisa that Kristen doesn’t like her because she is friends with Tom. Lisa tells her to avoid the drama & conflict. Guillermo tells Jax that Ariana will be moving over. Jax says that Ariana & Tom aren’t good for various reasons & is concerned about Kristen’s reaction. As Lisa correctly pointed out, if she based her staff on Kristen’s opinions, she wouldn’t have a staff. Jax tells Guillermo that he doesn’t want to gossip, but that he feels that he should give a heads up. Apparently there’s a rumor that Ariana slept with Tom.
As soon as Stassi walks up the bar, Jax tells her that Ariana is starting at Sur. He says in a way that implies it’ll be drama & expects Stassi to be pissed. She says that she likes Ariana & that Tom is good friends with her. Stassi recalls that Jax told her about Tom & Ariana, but that she isn’t sure if she can believe him. Jax backtracks, saying that he doesn’t want to cause any trouble. It’s pretty obvious that Jax enjoys the drama & fighting as much as the girls. If he didn’t want to cause trouble, he could have kept his mouth shut.
Kristen is back at work. She has been at Sur for 6 years. She says that it’s part of who she is. Lisa meets with her to be sure that Kristen understands what she did wrong. She realizes that Kristen is frustrated with her life, which is bleeding over into Sur. She tells Kristen that Ariana is starting there. To Lisa, she says that they’re friends; in her TH, she hates Ariana. Lisa will not give her another chance, so Kristen needs to keep it together.
Scheana & Ariana are having drinks on the night before her first shift. The two worked together at Villa Blanca & now at Sur. Scheana says that she loves Ariana & that it will be nice to have a real friend at Sur. Ariana realizes that there are lots of fake girls at Sur. They gossip about Ariana’s talk with Lisa. Ariana says that she told Lisa that Kristen has an issue with her. The talk moves to how crazy they think Kristen is. Scheana brings up the rumors about Ariana & Tom, but Ariana says that nothing happened. Ariana says that she can see why Kristen is insecure, since Tom is so much better than her. It appears that she will fit right in!
It’s Ariana’s first shift. Tom says that it isn’t a big deal to have her there because Kristen has nothing to worry about. Tom is showing Ariana the ropes, even though she’s been at Villa Blanca. He tells her that VB is much more organized. In his TH, Tom says that Ariana is more chill than the other girls at Sur. Dani, another server, approaches & gives Ariana a snide look. It’s obvious that the rumors have been spreading & that Dani is hoping to be relevant. Dani goes to the back & talks about Ariana working with Tom. Stassi says that Kristen is going to be pissed & brings up what she heard from Jax. She’s going to try to get the info out of Scheana. I’m not sure why she thinks Scheana would tell her anything after the way that she’s treated Scheana.
Stassi & Scheana go outside. Stassi asks if Ariana slept with Tom. Scheana says that she believes Ariana when Ariana says nothing happened. Stassi seems really quick to believe Jax now. Kristen comes out & finds them talking. Stassi tells Scheana that she better not be lying & that Scheana better not have brought a cheater into Sur. Umm, Lisa hired Ariana, not Scheana.
The girls are at lunch to discuss the Sur rumors. Kristen says that she & Tom are good. Other Tom & Katie are having sex issues too. I’m tired of hearing about their sex lives. Stassi admits that she needs to let Jax go for good. She admits that she’s feeling fake with him. Kristen points out that she was being fake by talking to Scheana. Stassi tells her that she was just trying to find out if Tom is cheating. Kristen is not impressed. She says that she knows that Tom isn’t sleeping with Ariana. Kristen asks why Stassi is worried if it’s not her relationship. I agree, it’s none of Stassi’s business. Kristen wants to drop it, but Kristina takes the opportunity to tell Kristen that she needs to break up with Tom. Kristen says that she’s trying to salvage a 5-yr relationship. Kristina says that she’s being a good friend, but she was talking badly about Kristen to Lisa. That isn’t a sign of a good friend. Stassi is annoyed that Kristen thinks she should stay out of her relationship. She tells Kristen to leave.