Vanderpump Rules – S3Ep05
“Surlesque” by HydrangeaHussy
This week starts off Stassi & Katie joining Nathalie at the restaurant to plan a surprise party for Guillermo. She thinks it would be great for the girls to perform burlesque, since they used to take classes. Stassi is a little worried since she hasn’t practiced in years. Nathalie has hired two real dancers to help them. The dancers are taking Stassi & Katie through a brief routine when Lisa arrives. Lisa puts on nipple covers over her tank & shows the girls what sexy really is, lol. I love that Lisa just jumps right in & isn’t worried about embarrassing herself.
Scheana thinks that Ariana intimidates the other girls. She’s a little worried about the Tom/Ariana rumor, though she doesn’t believe that it’s true. Ariana seems to be getting along with some of the staff that Scheana introduces her to.
Stassi is at Kristen’s, helping her choose clothes for her passport photo shoot. Really? A photo shoot for your passport photo? I took my passport photo at Walgreen’s. Jax calls to say that he’s at the hospital with a lump in his chest. Stassi immediately asks whether it could be breast cancer. Yes, men can get breast cancer. Jax is going in for X-rays & probably surgery. Stassi thinks that it may be all of the supplements that he takes.
Lisa, Nathalie & Scheana are looking for Guillermo’s birthday cake. Scheana wants to look at wedding cakes, but Lisa tells her not to until she’s engaged. They look at a book of men’s birthday cakes. They are shown a cake that looks like breasts, to go with the burlesque theme. Scheana will pick up the cake on the day of the party.
Tom & Ariana are at a vintage shop. Tom likes her dry sense of humor & ability to goof off. They have a good time trying on clothes and accessories. The conversation turns to all of the other “BS.” Tom reminds her that Sur is always full of drama, but Ariana hopes that she can build a relationship with Kristen by working together. Tom hopes that working with Ariana won’t affect his relationship with Kristen.
Stassi brings Jax a cake that says “No More Supplements.” Jax tells her that breast cancer runs in his family. There is only one medication/supplement that his doctor told him to stop. Protein shakes are still ok, but he needs to cut back. Stassi dumps out his shake & supplements. It’s amazing that he spent that much money on supplements & doesn’t understand that they are drugs. Jax feels attacked by Stassi, rather than comforted. Stassi goes off on him again about the sweater line, she’s pissed that she has been trying to work in fashion & he thinks that it’s easy to do. Jax finally seems to be seeing Stassi for what she is.
Jax & Tom are at Other Tom’s. Jax announces that he has cancer. Tom thinks that Jax is over-reacting. Tom asks if it’s from the supplements. Jax explains that Stassi had the same opinion. He tells them how she treated him. It’s amazing how differently Stassi sees their conversation. She says that he’s a liar & is over-reacting. Katie thinks that Stassi needs to be more kind during this time. The guys think that Jax should make Stassi feel guilty for actions. I’m not sure that is possible.
Scheana approaches Lisa regarding the rumors that Danielle is spreading. Danielle denies saying that, but says that they have weird chemistry. Lisa isn’t sure why she cares & neither am I. She makes excuses, saying that rumors always get spread. Tom tells them that he worked with Ariana at Villa Blanca, with no problems. But that isn’t what Danielle ‘heard.’ Danielle needs to get her facts straight & stop spreading gossip. Kristen walks by at that moment. Danielle says that Kristen had a problem with Ariana three years ago. Kristen, for once, is mature & says that she does not have a problem now. Lisa tells Danielle to drop it, but Danielle keeps making excuses.
It’s time for Guillermo’s surprise party. All of the girls are getting dressed. Stassi & Katie have been drinking & not practicing. Scheana didn’t know that she would be expected to dress up. She refuses to change her makeup or wear the dress that was chosen. She says that she’s a team player, so she finally gets dressed. She ends up liking the dress & makeup. A lot of drama for no real reason.
It looks like a great party. Jax is bartending, but isn’t flirting with women. Stassi says that it odd for him. She says that he’s convinced himself that his health scare is serious. Kristina confronts Danielle for not showing up on the previous night. Danielle, again, makes excuses. It’s not her fault that the restaurant is understaffed. That may be true – but it is her fault for skipping work. She attempts to blame Kristen by saying that she wouldn’t cover for her. Kristen decides to confront Danielle. She calmly tells Danielle not to spread rumors. Danielle launches into an analysis of Kristen & Tom’s relationship. Bottom line is that it isn’t any of Danielle’s business, but she seems to think that it’s fine to talk about other people’s relationships.
Guillermo arrives from dinner. They managed to surprise him upon arrival at Sur. The burlesque dance begins & the bustier cake is brought out. Stassi & Katie do a good job. They aren’t professional, but the get through it. Scheana comments that the performance was terrible & she’s super happy about. I’ve never seen a group of people take such pleasure in other people’s pain. Nathalie has also surprised Guillermo with a new Mercedes. Lisa tells us that he is the American dream – he began working as a dishwasher & eight years later owns a restaurant.
Jax mentions to Lisa & Nathalie that he is having health issues. The women reassure him that he will be ok. Lisa then asks Stassi to be supportive. Stassi says that she does care about Jax, but that he hurt her. Lisa actually seems to get through to her though. Stassi takes Jax outside to talk. She gives a half-apology. She sees that he is truly scared because the doctors haven’t ruled out cancer. She only keeps up the sympathy for a few seconds and immediately goes back to criticizing him. Jax doesn’t seem to believe her. He’s finally realizing that all she does is put him down. I’m actually proud of him!
The Amazing Race – 23.11 – Drag Race – By MelTheHound
- Jason and Amy – Dating
Chester and Ephraim – NFL– Eliminated leg 3
- Leo and Jamal – Afghanimals (Cousins from Afghanistan)
Rowan and Shane – Queens (of Bingo)– Eliminated leg 2
Hoskote and Naina – Father and daughter– Eliminated leg 1 Ally and Ashley – Ice girls (LA Kings Ice Crew)– Eliminated leg 9 Brandon and Adam – Hippies– Eliminated leg 4/5
- Nicole and Travis – ER Doctors (married)
Tim and Danny – Okies (from Oklahoma)– Eliminated leg 6
- Tim and Marie – Divorced (two of the most annoying people on the planet)
Nicole and Kim – Baseball wives (married to MLB players)– Eliminated leg 8
- And of course, Phil Keoghan – The host or just, Phil
Hello race fans.. Last week we said goodbye to the Ice Crew girls. This week, we are still in Indonesia for the entire leg. As teams depart the pit stop they are told that they have to start the day off right with a hearty breakfast. They are to go to this place where they will be served up a local delicacy, Cobra, and each must finish their own portion before they can move on. They cannot help each other. 3 of the 4 teams find the place okay but Divorced has trouble finding the place. That doesn’t stop the Geranimals from telling a story about how Divorced has already been through there and Marie ate the snake with no problem.. The others of course know this isn’t true because Marie is like Mikey. Hates everything. In reality they were lost staggering around the wrong place because their cab driver didn’t know exactly where to go. As you can see, they did find the place as we see Marie exercising some cannibalism as she ate the snake.
Their next stop is a roadblock at a volcano that last erupted 40 years ago.. Their task here is to be transported via scooter to pick up a couple dozen eggs, then pick out a dozen, take them to the hot spring from the volcano, and hard boil the eggs. When they have a complete set of a dozen, determined by the egg inspector, they get their next clue.. Travis, Jason, and Jamal, are all there about the same time. All 3 have to go back because some of their eggs are not hard boiled enough. This gives Divorced a chance to catch up somewhat, and it it is Marie who does the cooking. Tim says that the only thing that is going to help them is that Marie doesn’t cook and when she does, she overcooks everything. Turned out to be a blessing this time because she go it on the first try.
Teams have now all moved on to the detour. One side of it is getting made up to look like a local bride. The other side is searching through a tea field for a pair of clippers How hard can that be? Both turned out to be pretty difficult for most because, the makeup for the bride (the men had to shave first BTW) not only had to be right, but also, neat. The only thing more funny than watching Nicole trying to glue eyelashes to her husband, was watching him try to glue them to her. I would think that a pair of ER surgeons would be a little more meticulous than these two are but I guess I’m wrong. They could not figure out the neat part when they kept getting sent back to their makeup stand. Amy is the only one of this group who has any real experience with makeup so they get through it pretty quick.
Meanwhile, the animals, decided to search the field for the clippers. Apparently, this pair of numbnuts has never seen a pair of clippers because they find a white flag that was probably some sort of discarded marker, after 3 hours of looking, and of course they are wrong. They decide to switch tasks and go to do the makeup thing. I guess they were okay with getting dragged up until they found out they had to shave. Not going to happen so, they go back to the field and finally do find the clippers. This gives Divorced a chance to catch up enough to put them in third place. They did the makeup pretty quick and by looking at the edit, they were in a dead heat with the animals, who finally found the clippers, for 3rd place.. I know we love to hate Marie and her slave but, they have fallen off of the top of that list for me to be replaced, by the geranimals.
I cannot believe that at this point, I am cheering for Divorced to stay in this race because it looks like they are going to knock out the afghans. The way it all finished, that is what should have happened. Dating won the leg, ER was second, Divorced was third, making the afghans dead last.. Guess what kids, Non elimination round. I really hate these. They serve no purpose but to extend the season. I say once they lose a round, gone. If they need more weeks filled, add more teams. I would bet that the father daughter team knocked out in the first round would like to have had another shot at it. Or, perhaps the beards. Just sayin.. See you next week for the end of this pig.
Survivor Blood vs Water – 27.12 – Rustled Feathers
Welcome back Castaways……. Last week in a bit of a power move, Caleb was sent to RI. Heyden isn’t too pleased that his game partner was blindsided like that, they wanted Ciera gone. He goes as far as to name Tyson the winner of the game. It was all in good fun but comments like that can hang a target on one’s back. He and his allinance, Ciera, Gervace, Monica, decide it is time for Heyden to go.
As the players are brought in, Caleb has a few words for a few of the people. Specifically those who had told him they were voting Ciera but obviously voted for him. He says something about being from the south where a man’s word means something… Yeah, okay. Put a million dollar price tag on it on a game show and see what it means then.
The game. they are to build an 8 foot tall house of cards with wooden tiles, and they have half an hour to do it. That or at the end of the 30 minutes, have one of the two highest stacks. Loser goes to the jury. Winner gives away another clue which I guess means, the hidden idol is back in play since Tyson wasted it last time. Laura actually runs away with this challenge, reaching the 8 foot mark leaving Tina and Caleb to battle it out. Caleb nearly reaches the 8 foot mark but his stack falls over so all Tina has to do to win, is stop working at it. No chance for him to catch up at this point. Tina takes second, sending Caleb to the jury. There was some Probsting about the quitter bigot that I won’t bother with. Laura gives the clue to Ciera, who decides to keep it… Back to camp.
Back at camp, the dumbass decides to share her clue with the rest of her ‘alliance’.. They are all looking for it when Heydon and Katie decide to join them. Remember, supposedly he is the target so he’s been working hard to make sure someone else goes. He has approached Gervace about flipping on his partner and blindsiding Tyson. He says he could go along with that If Ciera can also be convinced. Meanwhile, guess who finds that hidden idol again.. I’ll spare you his crock tear TH about his girlfriend or wife, whoever she is. Heydon is still the target so he cannot win immunity.
The players get there and here’s the game.. The object here is to go through each of these stations while balancing a ball at the end of a stick. As they get to each station, they must add to the stick, making that balancing task more difficult. If they drop the ball they have to go back to the beginning of whatever station they are at and start that part over. Once they get to the final station, they will unlock a box containing sandbags that they will toss at targets on pedestals. To win, they have to knock over 9 targets. First one to do that, wins immunity. Once again it looks like Monica may run awaw with this one but there’s a new kid determined to win it. Gervace. He and Monica get to the end station at the same time and Tyson later joins them but, Gervace pulls out the win. He has also won reward. A camp visit from the ice cream man. He gets to share it with two people, he chose Monica and Tyson, his main alliance. Plus, Monica let the whole group have her reward last time.
Pre Tribal Chatter
Heydon still has a jones about blindsiding Tyson and he finally admits that’s what he’s up to. Dumbass. So now his plan is divide and concur. He tries to convince Ciera that if she makes a power play Now, it will guarantee her the million. I don’t know if she’s stupid enough to believe he’s looking out for her best interests in the game. All of this chat is going on while the other 3 enjoy their ice cream, in front of them. At the end of all this, I don’t really know what anyone’s plan really is except, Tyson has the hidden idol, that really belongs to Ciera, and Gervace has the necklace. Heydon plans on calling everyone out at council.
Let’s get right to the probsting. Interesting because it’s about this current 4:2 alliance split. With Ciera being #4 at best. He’s been saying all episode, that second, is the first loser (Okay Abbey). There is a lot of back and fourth about where Ciera stands in this game, Monica’s name is brought up as a whisper, and a vote is taken. 3/3 Monica vs Heydon. Revote, 2/2 Monica vs Heydon… Okay kids, here’s what happens. Heydon was sort of successful, Ciera may burned her bridge. Heydon, Monica are safe because there was no unanimous decision about them, Gervace has the necklace. 2nd time in 27 seasons, they get to draw rocks. Katie, Ciera, and Tyson. 2 black, one white, whoever draws that one, is out. It’s Katie.
On a sad note, Katie’s brother, Tina’s son, was killed in a car crash this week.
Sons Of Anarchy