Real Housewives of Atlanta – Mama Joyce Loses It … Again – by NMD
I’m beginning to be convinced that there is something wrong with Mama Joyce. The show opens the day after the dinner at Kandi’s house, with Kandi telling her friend/assistant Carmen about Mama Joyce. Kandi remembers that Joyce apologized for making Kandi upset about slamming her wedding ring – not for saying that she didn’t like the ring – but for making Kandi feel sad. She then asks Carmen to get a bunch of photos of Mama Joyce on her wall of fame so that Mama Joyce can’t complain about that any more. Todd walks up at that moment and reminds Kandi that she needs to stand up to Joyce.
We haven’t seen much of NeNe this year. I think she used a lot of her material for her wedding spinoff, and there wasn’t much left for the show. But we were treated to a scene where she and Gregg visited some old friends, Chuck and Mynique, at their home. There wasn’t much to the scene, except NeNe took the chance to gossip about her castmates. Apparently Chuck dated Kandi casually – but he wasn’t willing to kiss and tell on camera. Chuck, Phaedra, and NeNe were all classmates in Athens. Remember how NeNe told Phaedra that she didn’t remember her from high school. Well, she must have lied, because she reminded Chuck that Phaedra was known as the head doctor. And it wasn’t a reference to brain surgery. Chuck clarified that he never had sexual relations with Phaedra. I’m really not sure what the point of that was – it made NeNe seems gossipy and mean. When Andy replayed the clip on WWHL Kandi gave him the side-eye and said “really” in an incredulous voice. I agree Kandi. Really, Andy?
Last we saw Phaedra and Apollo, Phaedra was hopping mad about the sexting scandal. We are treated to a scene where they work things out. I’m sure it was scripted and rehearsed. Except the part where Apollo says something like – remember when you used to bend over in the bathroom and I’d hump you. Andy also played that clip on WWHL. Phaedra called in and said that the “head doctor” comment was a lie and NeNe has already apologized for it. NeNe tweeted that it was payback for Phaedra doing something ‘messed up’ to her – which I have to assume was a reference to Phaedra filming with NeNe’s estranged sisters a few seasons ago.
Kandi drew the short straw and had to host an event to bring all the ladies together. It’s a chance to cross-promote the Kandi Factory – her show that has already been cancelled. She invited her choreographer – Victor – to teach the ladies a dance routine as part of a workout. As they are gathered in Kandi’s kitchen, someone asks about Porsha. Cynthia says that she’s in the hospital. Everyone acts surprised, and NeNe gets Porsha’s sister on the phone. Porsha is okay – just anemic. She has fibroids. Then they talk about taking a road trip. Uh oh. That can’t be any good. They seem to have fun during the class – but Kenya slams Phaedra for still having a little pouch. There are plenty of things I could slam Phaedra for, but not having lost her baby weight is not one of them.
Cynthia’s thirteen year old daughter’s boyfriend situation is being drawn out into a loooong storyline. This time it’s her dad, Leon, that grills her. Then Cynthia and Leon have a long discussion about Noelle having a boyfriend. It’s great that they co-parent well. Noelle deserves a little more privacy. She’s 13.
It’s such a coincidence, but NeNe phones at the exact time that they are being filmed. NeNe and Porsha decide her problems are related to the stress of her divorce, and then NeNe invites Porsha to go on the road trip to Savannah. Because that won’t be stressful at all.
Kenya is filming with her cousin Laurie and her dog. When exactly did she leave that dog in her old neighborhood? Kenya and Laurie are pretending that Kenya has some sort of African boyfriend who wants to marry her. They talk about Kenya having a child – but things don’t look promising. It’s hard for me to take this seriously considering all her lies last year. And the Oscar goes to ….. she even squeezes out some tears as she talks about her mother ignoring her.
Kandi is in the bridal shop trying on dresses She’s brought Carmen with her – which is a huge mistake because she also invited Mama Joyce and her two sisters/friends. Kandi’s other friend tells Mama Joyce that he has always seen a little tomboy in Kandi, and is surprised that she’s picking out frilly dresses. Mama Joyce says it doesn’t matter – she won’t be wearing the dress. That starts a new conversation with Mama Joyce ripping on Todd. Carmen can’t take it any longer and has a few words with Mama Joyce and her sisters. It escalates, but Kandi comes out and calms things down. Poor Kandi walks away for a moment, and Carmen comes back and they begin to fight again. Mama Joyce is just seething about Carmen. Kandi’s friend has to physically restrain Mama Joyce as she kicks off her shoes to get into a fight. Kandi changes back into her normal clothes and says she’s done. They convince her to try on another dress. When she comes out, Mama Joyce blurts out – “I don’t want you to get married.” The other two ladies agree with her. Kandi is just standing there in a wedding dress with her mouth open – with Carmen stuck in a back corner fuming. What a special moment. They should be proud of themselves. The show ends with Kandi comforting Carmen, and voicing over that she’s learned to deal with her mama, but feels bad when other people have to deal with the wrath of Joyce.
Kandi was on WWHL after this aired, and stared to cry when Andy asked if Mama Joyce was doing this because she wanted Kandi’s money. Kandi said straight up that she doesn’t care what anyone thinks, it’s her mama and she’s going to take care of her – even if her mamma isn’t talking to her (which apparently she isn’t because of something that was said on WWHL last week). She really put giggly Andy in his place for making fun of the whole situation. I enjoyed it.
The Amazing Race – 23.12 – The End – By MelTheHound
- Jason and Amy – Dating
Chester and Ephraim – NFL– Eliminated leg 3
- Leo and Jamal – Afghanimals (Cousins from Afghanistan)
Rowan and Shane – Queens (of Bingo)– Eliminated leg 2
Hoskote and Naina – Father and daughter– Eliminated leg 1 Ally and Ashley – Ice girls (LA Kings Ice Crew)– Eliminated leg 9 Brandon and Adam – Hippies– Eliminated leg 4/5
- Nicole and Travis – ER Doctors (married)
Tim and Danny – Okies (from Oklahoma)– Eliminated leg 6
- Tim and Marie – Divorced (two of the most annoying people on the planet)
Nicole and Kim – Baseball wives (married to MLB players)– Eliminated leg 8
- And of course, Phil Keoghan – The host or just, Phil
This is the final one race fans.. My new keyboard is anchored somewhere in the middle of the Pacific on a cargo container so this is going to be a real short one.. Either that, or the boat sank.
Last week we were still in Indonesia where that bag 0 dicks, the geranimals, were saved by a non elim round. So this week, they have to do a speed bump. Teams are heading to Japan to finish this out before final 3. 3 of the teams decide to work together against the Afghans. They are going to Tokyo and there are two separate flights, both with connections, arriving 10 minutes apart. The animals take the earlier one. It doesn’t matter who thinks what, they all get there and their first gig is a detour. Human bowling or make a call with the fishes.
Human bowling is a Japan game show where each team member act as a ball, and is slid down a slide at some large bowling pins. Each must knock down all 10 pins before they can move on. Animals do this one and finish it before Divorced gets there and does it too. Both get through it, hooray for them.
The other task, involves a phone booth filled with water and goldfish (real ones), that they must get in, dial the phone within, get a message, and repeat it back to the lady standing over yonder for their next clue. Dating and ER do this one, Amy and Travis take the swim. Both get through it, hooray for them.
Next we are at some park. This is where the speed bump is as well as the roadblock. the speed bump is, they have to dress in the local garb, and catch an escaped rhino from the zoo (2 people with a rhino costume on), with a net, as part of a group, do it properly, and then they can move on. They get through it, hooray for them.
Now for the reason we are at this park, the roadblock. One from each team has to build from cardboard tubing, a large robot figure, using a miniature as a guide. It’s a puzzle. Leo is the puzzle king so he does it for the animals, Nicole and Amy for their two teams, but, since Nicole sucks ass at puzzles, the two of them work together. Once again, Amy is pulling her through, or so it seems. Last to arrive is Divorced but no one wants to help Marie. That’s okay, she kicks all their asses. The others have to repeat this several times to get it right. Even with help, Nicole struggled too much, to be in a profession, where attention to detail is paramount. I hope, none of my friends ever end up on her operating table because they may leave the hospital with a few extras inside of them that they didn’t have when they got there. They all get through it though with the geranimals now dead last. Hooray for them.
If the goal of working together was to get rid of the Afghans, then Amy did her job with helping Nicole. The next clue would be gotten from a walking vending machine, found in the busiest intersection in the city. That clue will take them to the pit stop at a shrine, where the last team Will be eliminated. Divorced wins the leg, Dating takes second, ER takes that final 3rd spot, Geranimals are out. Hooray for them.
Let’s end this pig
Here we are, the final leg.. Heading to Juneau (Juno) Alaska for this one. ER is in it for their 5 kids so they can show what can happen when mommy and daddy work together. I am sure the kiddies enjoyed watching Travis constantly berate his wife every time she screwed up on the puzzles in the roadblocks. Then watching her apologize for sucking. Dating is just so in love and took this journey to see if they could really stand each other. These two make my teeth hurt but, I haven’t really seen them go out of their way to screw anyone either. Divorced is another story. The race is a business arrangement for them. 60/40 split of prize money, HER favor. At the end it will come out that the only reason He is there with her, is that he was next to her when she was filling out the application on the Final day for submission. So there you go. The reasons they are there. Hooray for them.
Okay, let’s get to Alaska. Teams arrive and they are to jump on to a boat (marked) that will take them to Grizzly Island. Once there they have a roadblock. For some reason, the women are doing the roadblocks while the men look on and bitch about how much better they could have done. This particular one, they have to go up in a bush plane, and simulate a supply drop, by dropping a bag of flower on a large target. Miss it, they have to make another pass at it. Amy hits it in 2 tries, I think Marie got it in 5, it took Nicole 22 passes. But, they all got through it, Hooray for them.
Next they get to do some ice climbing in a glacier ravine. First must rappel down, then climb out. There is space for all three teams but the order they finished the supply drop, is the order they arrive to this task, by helicopter, so they can go ice climbing. The only one with a problem was Nicole as she fell and dropped one of her ice pics needed to climb out of the ravine. Proving to me these people were not really ‘climbing’ but, being pulled out by one of the guides. From there they go through an ice tunnel to get to their next clue. I don’t know if this was really needed but it looked like a cool experience (pardon the icy pun). They all got through it, Hooray for them.
The next clue is buried in the ice. There are several clue cards buried in the ice, most of which say ‘try again’ and the have to find the one with the actual clue written on it by chipping them out of the ice. This could be really fast, or could take them all day. Nothing more than physical labor and pure luck. In the end they all got through it, Hooray for them.
That clue tells them to jump into a two person Kayak, find a marked island, to get their next clue. The order hasn’t changed since the bushplane supply drop so Dating gets there first, followed by Divorced, with ER bringing up the rear. The only ones who really seem to be able to work together at this point, is Dating. Divorced manages it in their own special way I guess, ER.. No words. He expects her to be a goddess wonder-woman instead of the earthly being she really is. In the end though, they all got through it, Hooray for them.
Next they are going back to Juneau to get to their final task on the Blueberry Hills Trail, or at least I think that is what it’s called. When they get there, they are faced with another puzzle. It always comes down to the puzzle. What they have to do, is build a wall of totem poles, each one spelling out the currency type from each country they visited. Each totem pole is itself, a puzzle. This is where taking detailed notes comes in handy. Noting the currency names is apparently something none of then thought to make note of. It’s a physical task, one that if someone is pissing in your ear the whole time, will be difficult to complete. By now, ER is so frustrated, or at least Nicole is, I think they have given up. Dating and Divorced are nearly finished by the time they get there anyway so it really doesn’t matter. I think the more divorced fights, the better they do. In the end though, it is Jay and Amy who win the final leg of the race, and the $1,000,000. Hooray for them.
That’s it friends. Another in the can. Next season, beginning in February, is an All Stars season. You all know how I feel about retreads on these shows so at this point, I am not even feeling the motivation to watch it, let alone, recap it. Speaking right now, I think I’m going to sit that one out.
Revenge Recap from Empress