Vanderpump Rules – S3Ep06
“Lisa’s Angels” by HydrangeaHussy
Katie & Scheana are playing in Lisa’s backyard. I want a swing like that! Peter, Tom, & some other guys arrive. Kevin Lee is back to design the Sur float in the gay pride parade. They decide that Scheana will perform on the float. Everyone will be wearing wings, but Tom has a problem with it.
Other Tom, Jax & Tom are riding bikes. Jax refuses to take his shirt off because his cyst (it’s not cancer) is swollen. Tom never believed that he had cancer because he can’t trust anything that Jax says. Jax seems to have moved on from Stassi, which is good. He’s finally realized that she isn’t good for him. Watch out LA – he plans to go on a dating spree. The guys stop to have a beer & remove shirts. They are not happy that Scheana will be singing or that they have to wear wings.
There’s a staff meeting at Sur, which according to Stassi means someone screwed up. Lisa wants to confront the group about Ariana. Kristen is trying to believe Tom when says nothing happened between him & Ariana. Lisa tells the group about the gay pride parade. She reminds the group that she will not tolerate the nonsense that went on last year. Kristen volunteers to stay at Sur while the parade is going on. Jax announces that the guys don’t want to wear wings, which Kristina believes is due to his tattoo. Way to throw him under the bus in front of everyone. Stassi has completely changed her tune – she was so impressed with the tattoo, but now says that he’s an idiot.
Scheana is getting ready for her ‘big gig’ performing on the float. She’s trying to decide on a second single. She has no vocal training & can’t play any instruments, but she was a cheerleader until college. She tells us that a cheerleader has the same job as a pop star. She picks the music that she likes (the booty-popping/twerk music), but still needs lyrics. “Sexy, party, drinking, hot, fun” is all she’s got. I feel like she’s missing the point of being an artist. She has almost no involvement in the creation part; she just wants to perform.
Jax is out with his single friends so that he can meet girls. They are those guys in the bar that will not leave you alone. They meet a group of ballet dancers. Jax says that he’s never slept with a ballet dancer. She agrees to go out with him. They kiss & leave together.
It’s parade day! Scheana has her song on a loop & is ready to perform. They will play the song approximately 80 times during the parade. That’s way too much of any song. The guys are shirtless with their wings. The girls are in leotards & burlesque outfits. Tom is keeping his distance from Ariana so as not to anger Kristen. There are two groups of girls: Stassi’s group & Scheana’s group. Stassi has to make everything a way to put someone else down & make herself look better. She loves to criticize Scheana, but she loves being the center of attention just as much of Scheana does. The parade looks fun, but Stassi just can’t let herself have fun unless it’s something that she planned/controls. She spends the whole time complaining.
Jax chooses this moment to bring up the fact that he went on a date. Stassi doesn’t want him to throw it in her face, but isn’t that what she did with Frank last year? Jax, in a rare moment of insight, says that Stassi views him as a back up & doesn’t want him to date in case she needs him later on. IMO, who cares! They broke up! She dated Jax’s co-worker! Of course, Stassi freaks out because it’s inappropriate for him to talk about seeing other people, but it wasn’t inappropriate for her to date a co-worker days after they broke up. I’m so tired of her double standards. She holds others to such a high standard, but doesn’t hold herself to them. Jax is being a little passive-aggressive. I think he’s trying to get back at Stassi for the way that she’s treated him. He points out that he spent a year trying to win her back, to no avail. He’s over it.
Back at Sur, after the parade, there’s a party. The guys leave the float & immediately get behind the bar. It’s the busiest day of the year, but the girls have it easy since everyone is there to see the hot guys. While Stassi, Katie & Kristen are outside, Ariana is inside bartending. Kristen announces that she was going through Tom’s phone & found out that he was texting Ariana. I thought she was ok with them being friends? She reads the texts & they seem harmless to me. Katie recommends that Kristen confront Ariana about the rumors.
Kristen doesn’t need to listen to the mean girls, all they do is cause drama. But of course she does & confronts Ariana. Ariana says that she has never hooked up with Tom, but Kristen doesn’t seem to believe her because Ariana doesn’t freak out. Kristen then explains that text messages at night make her uncomfortable. I’m proud of Kristen for approaching it calmly without yelling. But I spoke too soon – Kristen begins crying & cussing about Tom cheating on her. Ariana thinks that the rumors are the result of Kristen talking about them years ago.
Jax goes outside, where Katie & Stassi are, but sits far away from them. They begin yelling at him & Stassi calls him a bad person. Jax tells her to leave him alone – he’s on break. She tells him to go somewhere else, but there isn’t really any other place for him to go. Stassi just loves to keep stringing him along – she’s frustrated that Jax texts her, but she gets pissed when he starts moving on.
Kristen pulls Tom away from the bar, where he’s super busy, to talk about Ariana. Seriously? He’s working – let him work! She wants to tell him that Ariana told her everything in the hope that he’ll slip up & tell her something she doesn’t know. Ugh, wasn’t she defending Tom & Ariana’s friendship a few weeks ago? But now she doesn’t believe that nothing happened between them? I think Kristen just needs some kind of drama at all times. They go out front. Kristen says that she had a bad conversation with Ariana, then pulls out screenshots of Tom’s texts. He doesn’t seem upset that she’s been going through his phone. Tom tells her that it’s ok if she texts a guy friend, but that isn’t good enough for Kristen. She thinks the texts were inappropriate & nothing is going to convince her otherwise. Tom begins getting defensive, which she angers Kristen even more. But she was pissed that Ariana didn’t get defensive earlier, so it seems that Tom couldn’t win either way. She starts yelling about the Vegas girl again & calling him a liar. Kristen is still hurt, which is understandable, but work is not the time or place to discuss it. She stalks off.
Top Chef New Orleans (S11E10) “Like Momma Made” by BB
There are nine contestants remaining: Brian, Justin, Carlos, Nicholas, Travis, Shirley, Stephanie, Nina, and Carrie. Hubert Keller is the Quickfire Challenge judge this week. The chefs will be using Dunkin Donuts coffee to prepare their dishes. The winner will get immunity plus $10,000. They have 30 minutes.
Brian is feeling confident enough to do a risotto dish (remember Risotto is the curse of top chef). Nina thinks Nicholas is her biggest competition and says he will definitely be in the finale. A couple of the chefs made a coffee dessert, but most did a savory dish. Stephanie had the weirdest combination that included bacon and coffee ham jam. The results. The bottom three are Brian (risotto) and Nicholas. Shirley, Carrie and Stephanie were the three favorites. The winner is Shirley, who Chef Keller thinks showed the most creativity. Shirley is going to use her $10,000 to buy new air conditioning for her house in Las Vegas.
Elimination Challenge. Padma introduces actor and New Orleans native Anthony Mackie. He tells the chefs that when he comes home to family, they have to eat at Dooky Chase’s restaurant. The challenge is for the chefs to make a dish inspired by the food they eat at home. They get $275 to shop and three hours total to prepare their dish, which they will serve at Dooky Chase’s.
Since this is not a team challenge, there is very little tension in the kitchen other than someone shaking a table while another is using a knife and Tom paying a visit to check on them. When the chefs finish for the day and return to the house, they find Emeril in the kitchen making his mom’s soup for them. Brian gets emotional talking about his dad who has had three strokes and can no longer talk much. Most of the chefs are homesick because making their dishes reminds them of home and family.
The next day, the chefs have one hour at Dooky Chase’s to finish their dishes. Brian was planning on grilling his steak, but arrives to find there is no grill of any kind in the kitchen. Justin is worried about something that’s easy to cook – his rice because the easiest dishes sometimes are the ones that send you home. Travis wants to make sure his biscuits are perfect. Shirley is taking a risk because she has immunity. Nicholas is worried about his dish being too humble, but he doesn’t have another game plan. Travis’ biscuits are a disaster on the inside and he has to figure out how to fix it. He decides to try to hide them by pouring the gravy over them. They will be serving Leah Chase, the owner of Dooky Chase’s, her daughter, her son, her granddaughter, Anthony Mackie, Chef Keller, Tom, Padma and Emeril.
Time to eat. Carlos prepared Cochinita Pibil with Black Beans, Orange Pico de Gallo and Corn Tortilla. Brian made Korean BBQ New York Strip with Potato Salad. Travis made Biscuits with Maple Sage Sausage Gravy and Sour Plum Jam. The judges like the flavor of Travis’ but he didn’t fool them by trying to hide the raw biscuits. The diners cleaned their plates of all three dishes. As a side note, Anthony said he has never seen biscuits and gravy served with a side of jam. I have had that many times when visiting my husband’s relatives in the mountains of Southwest Virginia. Sometimes there would even be a squirrel in the gravy, but most times it was just plain sausage gravy over homemade biscuits with hot homemade strawberry jam and butter on the side. Yummy!
Nicholas gets emotional when he serves his daughter’s favorite dish because he wishes he were home making it for her. He made Ricotta Gnudi with Pancetta, Peas, Lemon and Parmesan. Shirley made Beijing Noodles, Fermented Bean and Pork Sauce with Pickled Radish. Stephanie prepared Mussels with Spicy Pickled Peppers and Tomatoes. Nicholas need not to have worried. His dish is a hit with the judges and guests. Anthony said he wishes he was Nick’s daughter. They also like Shirley’s and Stephanie’s dishes.
Justin prepared Louisiana Rice with Chicken Thigh Gravy, Pickled Mirliton and Jalapeno. Carrie made Creamed Asparagus over Toast with Poached Egg. Nina made Curried Chicken with Fried Bakes. They liked all three dishes, but had a little something negative to say about Nina’s and Justin’s (Nina’s should have included rice and Justin’s was a little reserved and needed more gravy). This is going to be very difficult for the judges. If there is a week where nobody goes home, this should be the one.
The judges’ table includes Padma, Tom, Emeril and Anthony (no Chef Keller). They discuss all the great dishes (Carlos, Stephanie, Carrie, Travis’s gravy, Brian, Shirley, and Nicholas). Padma says it’s really a tough decision. Padma calls in Nicholas, Stephanie and Carlos. One of them will be the winner. They think Nicholas’ dish was executed perfectly. Tom called Stephanie’s dish new and brilliant. Anthony loved Carlo’s tortillas. And the winner is Nicholas. Anthony tells Nicholas to please relax from now on.
Nicholas asks Travis, Brian and Justin to go to the judging table. Padma explains that they had to go to the finer nuances of the dishes to come up with the least favorites. Of course, Brian needed a grill for his steak and it wasn’t as flavorful as they wanted. Travis tells the judges he knew going in he might have a problem with his biscuits. They ask Justin why he made a Louisiana dish when it might not be his strongest dish. Justin tells them he’s made it many, many times but not lately. The judges tell him there was too much rice, not enough gravy. This is going to be a tough call.
Padma tells Travis to pack his knives and go. I didn’t like Travis at first, but he’s grown on me in the past few weeks.
Last Chance Kitchen. Travis vs. Louis. Since Travis has proclaimed himself (in Tom’s words) an Asian cuisine expert, Tom shows them a table full of unusual Asian proteins from which they must choose three to include in their dish. By the end, Travis has made Bitter Melon Soup with Squid Cakes. Tom tells him it’s a nice dish, but not nearly as bitter as he’s had it before. Louis made a Tripe dish. Tom picked the most flavorful dish and that belonged to Louis.
Brandi Glanville Podcast 5 by Kit9
Starts again with chat with moron producer Art. Brandi says she’s going to have a witch on her show soon. Says the woman(Carlton, I assume)is into “paganism or polygamy”, one of the two(NYT best selling author, here, people!) Brandi says she’s a ‘waist up’ lesbian. Finds women sexy and beautiful. Art talks about how attractive her listeners are(did I say he was a moron? I was so wrong!)and Brandi again talks about how she prefers pretty people over ugly….says, “I enjoy pretty people….if you’re not attractive….” and trails off before saying, “that’s horrible”.
Brandi then talks at length about her drinking and addresses her most recent episode of public intoxication. She says she manages to work, pay her bills, care for 2 children “without help”(guess she wants a pat on the back for this)and that she couldn’t do all that if she were drunk all the time. Says she doesn’t drink when she has her kids. She says some of the ‘ladies’ on the show are spreading stories about her in the press to discredit her. She says that with the women on the show, sometimes your only friend in the room is a drink. Says she takes legal drugs. Says she’s on Lexipro and anti depressant. Says on her birthday she was “tripping when she was sipping” and that the paparazzi followed her from her house to the restaurant and back. Says she’s never claimed to be sober and that if she had a problem she’d seek help. Says she drinks to unwind and does sometimes overindulge but angrily protests she has a drinking problem.
WARNING: The following may make your head explode. Brandi says it’s the media that keeps the bitter war with Eddie and Leann alive. Claims she’d never talk about it if only the media would let it go. Says she is just answering their questions. On a bright note, says she and Eddie recently shared a laugh for the first time in 5 years. Apparently, at a school meeting, the teacher praised Brandi and Eddie for their excellent co-parenting. Collective ha has followed.
Brandi goes off, again, about the evils of social media and how it is ruining our lives. Art praises Brandi’s point by citing a BBC study that said people on social media have less sex. Much blather about the narcissism and self absorption of SM and the evils of Twitter negativity follows(I don’t know about you but I luvs me some Brandi the slurry-marble-mouthed-social-commentator!) Art, ever the dutiful butt kisser, praises Professor Brandi for her self-awareness(facepalm). Brandi quickly agrees. Brandi talks about texting and driving. She says that texting while driving is “worse than drinking and driving” because, “At least when you’re drinking and driving, you’re trying to pay attention”(Wtf?)but when you’re texting you are looking straight down”.
Brandi says she isn’t “super into porn”. Says she got a 4 page text from the “angry Mexican” she’s dating. Says their whole relationship has happened over text messages. Says she lost her virginity at 17. Says she has already had the sex talk with her eldest son, Mason, when he was 10 before he went off to a sleep away camp. Thinks you have to tell kids the truth when they ask about sex. Art says that for “for a drunk you sound like a pretty good parent”.
1st guest: Nick Prugo, part of Bling Ring-gang of kids that robbed celebrities. Brandi says she spent one day in jail before. Nick is currently working on a tv show of his own. Nick says the LA jail he was in had flat screens and vending machines. Brandi wants to know how to break into famous people’s homes and Nick says Paris Hilton’s house was easy to break in. He says she left the key under the mat and that he learned about it on Twitter(I honestly can’t tell if he’s joking. Don’t think so which is mind blowing). Nick is in court ordered therapy. Brandi says her insurance is getting canceled at the end of the month and needs to talk to Obama. Brandi thinks that the rich people he stole from had more than enough and suggests it’s ok that Nick helped spread it around(Brandi’s moral compass firmly set to FAIL).
2nd guest Adam Carolla(wtf is he doing on this show?) Adam is on the phone. Talks about his “Mangria”(are there any human beings left on the planet that don’t have a drink line?) Brandi asks Adam if he was jealous when Kimmel, one of his best friends, got a talk show. Adam says the only thing that bothers him about Jimmy’s success is people thinking it bothers him. Brandi asks Adam for advice for her Podcast. Adam says repetition is the key to learning to interview people and never say no, which Brandi, of course, turns sexual….something about getting on her knees(her raunchiness is just tedious at this point) This interview really sucked-very uncomfortable and boring. Brandi didn’t seem to have any prepared questions and it devolved into a discussion about astrology at one point, which Brandi believes in and Adam does not. Says he doesn’t know his wife’s sign. And, doesn’t care. Brandi asks if he still has sex. He says no because he has kids. The
interview is so lame, she asks where’s going in his car. He says home. I bet he wished he was already there.