Shahs of Sunset – $3500 Caviar from a Vending Machine by NMD
This show opens with something I’ve never seen before, a vending machine in a mall that sells caviar for $3500. Inexplicably, Reza has a wad of cash in his pocket (he says it’s an immigrant thing) and starts feeding 100’s into the machine. I can’t help but wonder how old the caviar is, or if it will get stuck in the machine.
Bravo shows seem to collect mean drunks. GG is yet another one, and while she’s working on her anger issues, she doesn’t seem to understand the relationship with getting drunk and getting mean and out of control. So instead of recognizing the obvious, she’s taking Tai Chi to learn how to control herself. Here is some free advice GG – don’t get drunk. In a complete turn around from last season, Asa is there to support her. GG voices over all the awful things she’d like to do to MJ, and we get to see a few clips of her making vile threat. She tells Asa that she’s not only furious with MJ, but she’s beginning to feel used by her sister. It seems that ever since Leila’s husband left her, Leila has needed GG. It’s your sister, GG. She needs you. Get over yourself.
MJ is pretending she’s a real estate agent. She has Leila’s house as a listing, and she’s lined up a desperate client. I find it strange that she has her dog with her as she shows the house. She’s technically only leasing the house – for a mere $6500 a month. I don’t think I could afford to live in LA. She’s close to making a deal, and voices over that she doesn’t care if it pisses GG off. Why would GG be mad if MJ does her job?
Reza has a sit down with Sasha at a coffee/tea shop. After a short speech, Reza apologizes. He explains in a talking head that Sasha embodies all of the shame he grew up with. Sasha doesn’t seem angry. Maybe this is a reenactment. Reza seems to think he’s had a break though. Doesn’t he think this every few months – and then revert back to being an asshole?
Mike has decided to buy Jessica an engagement ring as a symbol of his wealth and status, and to announce to the world that she’s his. His friend is a diamond salesman, and they start with $350,000 ring. Mike doesn’t have the money, so they look at other options. His friend/brother says that because he’s marrying an American girl he can get away with spending only $20,000. A Persian girl would demand/deserve a $50,000. Is that a slam against Americans or Persians? Mike doesn’t want to put a ring on her finger worth a mere $20,000, so she’ll have to wait. He says he has an ulcer from the stress. I’m confused. Didn’t he have a budget going in to this scene?
Reza is setting up his party and droning on and on about all the people who aren’t talking to him – I mean that he doesn’t want to invite.
GG takes her boyfriend out to dinner to tell him that she’s been lying to him and she did kiss another man. The boyfriend, Shaun, seems a little slow on the uptake, and they have an inane conversation. She hedges and haws, and finally admits that she kissed another guy. Not only that, but they’ve been texting each other daily. Shawn asks to see the texts, and she refuses, saying that they’ll be misconstrued. Shawn is calm, but furious. Mainly because he’s been lied to and feels like a fool – especially because he was so harsh on MJ – thinking she was lying. Someone should have told GG that it’s not the act that gets people in trouble, it’s the cover up. While things ended well in this scene, they did not end well in real life. GG and her ex took out restraining orders against each other.
It’s Reza’s housewarming party, and he’s such a great host, he mentions the $3500 caviar over and over again. Every time someone takes a bite, they say things like – that’s a $100 bite. Because the party is completely boring (with only Asa and MJ and a few random people invited), Reza voices over that he’s been completely betrayed by Mike in his “time of need.” Oh – and his fancy new condo looks like a dorm room. No kidding. I think the party is so small because that’s all he can fit into his place.
Meanwhile (but probably at a completely different time/date) Mike is having a poker party with high stakes, because he has no money. He voices over that he was completely burned in his business relationship with Reza. His friends have arrested development, and he’s jealous that he’s not rich enough to whore around like they are. I’ll spare you and not recap their misogynistic banter. Someone asks about Reza, and Mike lets out a string of curses, and tells the viewers that Reza didn’t keep his word about helping him get started in residential real estate. He lies to us in his talking head, saying he left a thriving commercial real estate business to partner with Reza. Last season he said his commercial real estate business wasn’t doing well. His mother told him he didn’t have the patience or personality for residential real estate when he decided to partner up with Reza and push MJ. Reza may be awful, but Mike got what was coming to him.
At Reza’s boring party, the conversation turns to Mike. MJ encourages Reza to reach out and fix things. Reza voices over that Mike doesn’t have a clue on how to bring in business. That’s the point – you were supposed to help him. But I’m not going to waste any energy on Reza. He’s an ugly human being on the inside. He takes pleasure in hurting and humiliating people. He drones on and on about how immature the other cast members are (the ones that wouldn’t come to his party) and how they all came between he and MJ. Revisionist history. Goodness he’s annoying.
Meanwhile, Mike has pretty much decided to go back to commercial real estate.
And that’s a wrap. No Lilly this episode, but Sammy was at Mike’s poker party.