Vanderpump Rules – S3Ep07
Addicted – by HydrangeaHussy
This week begins with Stassi & Katie getting Brazilian waxed. Why do people feel the need to due this on TV? I don’t need to see this. Stassi is so supportive, she keeps telling Katie how badly it hurts but that she can’t chicken out.
Jax is still texting Stassi that he loves her. She wonders why he’s doing that, but she was the one leading him on for a year. She’s still upset that he hooked up with the 21-year-old. She thinks Jax is a sex-addict.
Scheana has written her first article for Divine Addiction. She tells Stassi about it & asks for Stassi’s help proof-reading it. Why would she ask a girl who obviously doesn’t like her? That’s just asking for trouble.
Stassi tells Jax that she wants him to date other people, but not brag about his hook-ups. He’s trying to speak calmly & Stassi starts yelling. She tells him that she couldn’t be friends with someone like him, even though she’s been stringing him along all this time. She then goes to the entire staff & talks badly about him. I understand that Jax hurt her, but she needs to move on. I feel bad for the staff that has to sit there & listen to her berate him.
Kristen & Tom are going on a date. She still isn’t sure what happened between Tom & Ariana, but she appreciates that he’s trying to work on their relationship. They go for Korean BBQ. Kristen isn’t impressed with the vegetarian options. It bothers her to see Tom eat meat in front of her. Kristen turns the conversation to Tom’s cheating. He just can’t win with her.
Other Tom is at Jax’s. He & Stassi are over. Jax wants to have some fun. He met a girl at Sur & is taking her out. Jax begins his date by telling the girl that he hasn’t been on a date in a long time & needs a drink. They seem to be getting along well. She tells him that she isn’t looking to settle down. After dinner, they move to the bar. Jax invites her to his place to watch a movie.
It’s Peter’s 30th birthday. Jax says that he may not go because he doesn’t want to cause drama. Lisa tells him to go & support his friend. Jax then says that he wants to go to therapy again. He says that he held back from the therapist last time, so it wasn’t very effective. There’s one big piece of information that he didn’t tell her.
Stassi & Scheana meet for a drink. Scheana is now working for Pandora & wants Stassi’s opinion on her first article. Stassi tells her that she did a good job. She thinks that Scheana’s writing style is like her own. They move on to the issues with Lisa. Stassi feels that Scheana sabotaged her relationship with Lisa. Scheana says that she didn’t try to hurt Stassi & that she has tried to fix it. The girls agree to move forward.
Peter is excited to get out of the restaurant & celebrate his birthday. Jax decided not to go, which Other Tom says is good. Jax needs some space from Stassi. The girls are ignoring Scheana because Katie & Kristen aren’t moving forward. Lisa arrives to wish Peter happy birthday. It’s great to see Lisa supporting the staff & cutting loose a little. Scheana then gives Peter what can only be described as a lap dance. Peter’s shirt is off & she’s grinding on him. To me, that’s just disrespectful to her boyfriend, who is there. She tries to get Katie to dance, but Katie refuses.
The mean girls go outside to talk trash about Scheana dancing on Peter. Scheana joins them & Katie tears into Scheana. Stassi is put in the middle, trying to be friends with everyone. But she doesn’t stick up for Scheana. Kristen accuses Scheana of ruining the friendship between the mean girls. Peter tells them to stop the drama on his birthday. Scheana leaves the table. Her boyfriend attempts to stick up for her, but Katie tears into him. Katie is drunk & isn’t making much sense. Other Tom comforts Scheana, telling her that they girls are just mean when they’re drunk. Other Tom confronts Katie about her comments to Scheana. Katie is just too drunk to listen.
Jax is at therapy. He has issues with honesty. He says that there is no reason to lie to the therapist, but admits that he lied in prior sessions. He now admits that he cheated on Stassi. He realizes that he has trouble being faithful to anyone. He asks if he could be a sex-addict. The therapist tells him that he needs to work on himself right now & doesn’t need a relationship. He doesn’t seem to see the problem with the number of women he sleeps with. The therapist tells him that he has to make a change in order to get a different result.
Kristina, Katie, Stassi & Kristen are having a yard sale. Katie was very drunk the night before & threw water on Stassi. Katie said that Jax & Kristen had sex. She also texted Tom & said that she knows he slept with Ariana. Katie doesn’t seem to remember much, but says that she shouldn’t have repeated the rumor about Kristen & Jax. Katie breaks down & walks away when confronted about her drinking. Stassi isn’t sure whether to believe that Kristen slept with Jax.
The Millionaire Matchmaker “Kim K’s BFF and a Pretty, Pretty Princess” by PrincessPindy
*Disclaimer: I only watched it one time, no DVR was used in the making of this blog. Again, if you find any mistakes, “Don’t hurt me Hammer.” There is a prize for the person who finds all of the Movie, TV and Song references, the prize is my friendship, because like YoYo, I believe my friendship needs to be earned!! ……And when you get the choice to sit it out, or laugh… Laugh….I hope you laugh. 🙂
Ooops, I did it again, I watched The Millionaire Matchmaker…. The episode starts with Patti dining with her Promise-ance’ and Jonathan Cheban. In case you don’t know, Jonathan Cheban is the man that ruined Bravo, allegedly
(Uh-oh – Reality Row blog suspended – interesting …. NMD)
Can’t outsmart me – I know how to find the cached page
Kim Kardashian’s name is dropped faster than an egg from a tall chicken, he’s her BFF. Patti asks Jonathan who his type is and he says JLo and of course Kimmy, but he doesn’t want Kanye to get him. Dude, you don’t have a chance in hell to get with Kim and we will just leave it at that…
Patti says in her Talking Head that everyone thinks Jonathan is gay. Patti announces excitedly, arms thrown in the air “HE’S STRAIGHT!”; many sure bets were lost. Patti wants to do a Black Tie Mixer.
Back at the office, the 3 Newbie Nobodies are talking about their weekend. Oh Shock, they got drunk. Who would have thunk it? Patti comes clomping in and what is that she has???….Oh I hate her, it’s a PINK, SHINY Birken!!! That Bitch!! Yes, I am jealous, who would have thunk THAT. In my wildest dreams I could never imagine being jelly of Patti Stanger….. It’s Pink AND Shiny!! Patti tells the Nobodies all about Jonathan and says, “by the way, he’s straight.” The PR train is on track delivering the message that “Jonathan Cheban Is Straight, Damn It!” I wonder if that is why he went on the show…..maybe he got tired of people thinking he was Kim’s Gay BFF. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The Nobodies tell Patti about their other Millionaire. His name is Eric Berman and beautiful girls want to date him and he dumped his bisexual girlfriend, sure. Patti starts asking questions and they don’t have the answers. I WANT ANSWERS DAMNIT!!! They don’t have enough information on the guy and Patti is PISSED. She starts telling them off saying that SHE works for a Higher Power and THEY work for a Higher Power and that Higher Power is “ME”…not me, Patti. The F bomb is dropped…shock AND awe. Oh Patti, your management skills are ammaaaazing.
Patti sees Eric’s picture and says he is “Dork cute” and I say out loud, “Seriously, your boyfriend looks like Lurch.” ~It was my first reaction, her arrogance pissed me off. But he does… or maybe he looks like that guy that Kim K was married to for what, 42 days….Kris, no that’s the Mom…. Kris or Chris….whatever. Wouldn’t that be creepy for your husband to have the same name as your MOM???~ But Patti’s promise-ance’ has given her a promise ring, so who am I to judge their love…
Patti watches Eric’s video. He lives in San Diego, thanks for the warning. Eric dates really young women “not a girl, not yet a woman.” Pictures are shown of him with 18 year old girls partying… Dude, seriously, get a clue…I guess they find you charming and witty, it has nothing to do with your money, honest. Eric has a written list of 20 key things /goals for the perfect wife. Don’t be too impressed with his organizational skills, Brunettes and Boobs are the top 2… Patti is over him already, ME TOO!! He just needs to listen to Patti, damn it, look how many happy marriages she has arranged!!!! Wait, never mind.
GIGGLE ALERT>>>>>He says in his video that he wants to be a “San Diego Socialite”, and maybe a Pretty, Pretty Princess too!?!?!
Patti meets Eric, he tells her he wants his “Dream Woman” to like the same music as he does. RANT ALERT>>> It IS a dream Eric, 20 things on your list and Brunette and Boobs are the first 2??? GROW UP, YOU’RE 41 years old!!!!<<< Eric is into Pearl Jam, Patti doesn’t think the children he is dating will have heard of Pearl Jam. LOL, Patti made a funny!!!
Patti comes up with a nickname for Eric, “Bigger, Better Berman”….Bigger, Better, Berman is always looking around thinking he can do better, checking out other women when on dates. Patti asks where he see himself in ten years from now. He replies something about having a wife that is his best friend. Ten years from now I see him divorced and alone again but I’m no Allison Dubois. He knows it will be difficult to break this pattern of Bigger, Better Berman. I think he likes the nickname, lol!!
Time for the Cattle Call…..
Patti and the Nobodies are getting ready to meet the Wanna Bes and Patti calls the Nobodies “idiots.” The girl idiot didn’t know what kind of girl Jonathan wanted, How dare she! The guy idiot DID know and got this week’s DING, DING, DING. My Dingaling, my dingaling, I caught you playing with……sorry.
One of the women WBs is “fit” and Patti says, “show us your biceps.” Patti, being the genius that she is, asks her, “Do you have a penis under there.” Now….. I would have loved for the girl to say in a really deep voice, “What if I do, … Bitch?” I would have died laughing!!! But alas, it was not to be….
Jonathan meets with Patti again, the word billionaire is thrown out there?? Like Kim Richards, “I don’t know.” They are in the new office, beautiful background of Marina Del Rey. But it is hard to concentrate on the conversation because Patti, I kid you not, put that Pink, Shiny Birkin bag right down on the top of the coffee table, in the middle of the shot. Jonathan is looking for a girl with Kim’s kurves and Rhianna style. He is an entrepreneur and has a PR business and a jewelry company, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, NO ONE CARES.
This week’s game of “Six Degrees of Princess Pindy”…. So is there a connection to one of the Millionaires??? Yep, yep, yep!!! When Wendy Williams first got her show, I signed up online and entered some contests. A couple of days later I got a package in the mail. It was from The Wendy Show!!! WOW, she sent me something. Turns out I won one of the contests. And tell the people what you won ………..A necklace designed by none other than Jonathan Cheban!!!!! It is a box style chain, pewter in color. Not my particular style, cuz we know by now I like shiny things. But when paired with a one or two sparkly chains, it adds depth, lol. So I tweeted both Wendy and Jonathan and he “retweeted” my tweet!!! My life IS complete, hahaha!!!! (Wendy on the other hand completely ignored my tweet and WE CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS!)
Jonathan doesn’t like Gwyenth Paltrow aka Goop, Patti is surprised, I’m not, he just went up in my estimation. No Goop for You! Jonathan says that the relationship has to be about him, he’s a “know it all” and he says it with no shame, ….remarkable. She tells him he can’t be mean and he says it’s “not on purpose people are just dumb.” I feel ya Jonathan, I feel ya, lol!
It’s not his fault, he gets bored, <he’s a victim too!! We should tweet him but maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it. Patti says he is in love with Kim. Patti continues to drop Kim’s name. Kim set really high standards for him, (hahaha, high standards and Kim K in the same sentence) Darn, I should have done a Kim Kount or at least a Name Drop Kount…oh well, hindsight is 20/20.
Black Tie Mixer
Some of the WBs got made over and gowns rented for the night, courtesy of Patti, they look great. Jonathan and Patti bitch at each other, she tells him he will be forever alone… Gee project much Patti?? Patti goes over the rules with the WBs “No in or in or in” as she points to her orifices….as a lady always does!!! “MEET MY MILLIONAIRES” is shouted, let the games begin!!
Eric is such a player in.his.mind, OMG, puke! He is checking out other women WHILE he is talking to each individual girl. The editing is priceless, so, so, so funny, every time he looked away they were showing…….. booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere. Patti intervenes and tell him to knock it off. Eric meets a San Diego girl, I think he may be able to focus, it is shocking, he did it, he focused for a whole minute. Ya know with Bravo editing it could have been 2 minutes!! He Picks Ashley for his Master Date.
Jon is being snarky and rude. He meets Destiny and asks her if that is her Stripper Name… smooth move Ex lax!!<—–saying from the 70s, I’m bringing it back!!! 🙂 Jonathan meets a grad student, Jenn, with very bleached, blonde hair. They are joking and she likes crime. Oh my word, these people.are.so.boring!!! Jonathan picks Jenn for his Master Date. And nobody cares, oh, maybe the Nobodies care….
*****The fake out scene where you think the show is starting but it’s not…….Destiny shows Patti how to “Twerk” gaaaaahhhgggg….trust me that it is not something you want to see!!!!! MY EYES!!! The things I do for “Y’all!”
The Master Daters
Eric and Ashley go to the Del Mar to the horse races. Eric is focusing on Ashley, no wandering eyes.. Eric then takes Ashley to a dinner in a really pretty, private dining room. Everything is going well, IPPHO™®©. UNTIL, Ashley says the word MARRIAGE, I went blank. I am not even sure what was said after that. The shock of her bringing up marriage on the first date was too much for me to take. She sounded like she wanted to go to Vegas that night. I could be wrong, shock does that to a person.
Jonathan and Jenn meet at an Indian restaurant… he’s late, shock… He’s a “foodie”, shock! He talks about himself, shock. Jenn says he is vain<<<good shock!!! This was a shocking episode!!!
The PRICELESS moment making it worth watching the whole show happens!!!! Jonathan and Jenn are sitting at the table and Jonathan asks as casually as one can, has she seen the Kardashians TV show …… and Jenn says, “I only watch to see Scott” HAHAHA!!!!….. the look on Jon’s face, HAHAHA, if you know anything about the Kardashians, and I think some of you do…. 😉 Scott is so handsome and personally cracks me up and is SOOOO full of himself and I can’t imagine the grief that Lord Disick will give Jonathan about that comment! When I saw this preview scene before the commercial I laughed thru most of the commercial break!!! It was GOLD!!! What a SLAM!!! Hahaha ! It’s Todd Crane! < Kardashian practical joke that is EPIC!!
Jon takes Jenn to “Hottest club in Hollywood” don’t know the name, sorry, but by now it isn’t… A little person flies across the room to deliver a bottle ~ it’s a test to see if she can handle how cool Jonathan is. Heavy Sigh.
Jen on is on the phone with Patti, thumbs up. Jonathan comes in and Patti asks Jonathan if it was appropriate to take Jenn to a club…. He says “obviously” … HOW YOU DARE QUESTON ME? JONATHN CHEBAN THE MAN WHO SINGLEHANDLY took down BRAVO???? (allegedly) He didn’t really say that, I made it up, lol!
The update at the end of the show says that Jenn and Jonathan are “talking”… texting, IPPHO™®©.
Ashley is on the phone to report. Patti, classy as always asks did you kiss, tongue down throat?? No kiss…friendship vs romantic…..blah, blah, blah… Bigger, Better Berman comes into office…Patti says stuff that is gross…ugh, she just is so weird. Patti wants to know if he has a penis….Geeeeeze Patti, what’s with that question????? Twice in one episode…..no Patti, no.
The update at the end of the show says that Ashley is not returning calls to Eric…. I don’t think he did anything wrong, I think he went blank, who wouldn’t, she said marriage…he was probably afraid to kiss her, she might get pregnant. I was hoping they were going to say he became a San Diego Socialite but that’s cuz I’m a “Girl’s Girl”.
Next time Courtney from “Courtney Does Dallas”, wait, that can’t be the title, …off to the Google Machine…. “Courtney LOVES Dallas” SORRY!!! Honest mistake!! and-a Nobody gets fired, allegedly!