Dear Santa, Here is a Christmas List for the Housewives plus Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “She Hearts You, She Hearts You Not” by BB

“I’m not in the mood to write about Beverly Hills anymore.”  NoMoreDrama

I’m sure each of these women come into the new season with a plan of how she would like things to play out, what she would like to convey, what she would like to promote, and so on.  Unfortunately for them, their contracts allow Bravo to show what Bravo wants shown.  Scenes are spliced and diced.  Footage is left on the cutting room floor.  Events are shown out of sequence.  We not only hear this from the housewives, but there are some pretty brilliant people frequenting this blog every day who have figured out that what we are seeing is not necessarily what really happened, but it’s what Bravo wants us to think happened.

All that being said, certain things that are done and said by these women can’t be explained away by “bad editing” or “the viewers didn’t see what the other person did,” or even “I was going through a bad time in my life.”   I’m particularly referring to Brandi Glanville here, but it can apply to any of the housewives to a certain extent.  However, in Brandi’s case, it’s what she does on social media BEFORE and AFTER we see the episodes that irritates me the most.  After the episodes air, each housewife has the opportunity to post a blog on the Bravo website explaining their side of the story and clarifying anything they choose about the episode we just saw.  That should be sufficient.  A word of advice to Brandi.  If you want to stop who you call the “haters” from talking about you, then back off the preemptive videos, Facebook open letters, and twitter rants.  I get the feeling, however, she doesn’t really want it to stop.  She loves being the center of attention and she certainly is that, but not in a good way.  On to the current episode.

We see the scene Brandi talks about in her open letter on Facebook where Joyce and her husband are having dinner in the Sushi restaurant (and where Brandi says she also showed up and had a pleasant exchange with Joyce).  Brandi clued us in that this was extra footage being shot after the season filming had wrapped.  If I were Bravo, I’m not sure I’d be happy about Brandi giving away information about Bravo’s out of sequence scene shooting.  I don’t see anything wrong or inaccurate in what Joyce told her husband about Brandi’s behavior during the Palm Springs trip.  Everything she said Brandi did and said was on film.  Brandi’s letter made it seem like a bigger deal than what I observed.

Brandi and her friends, including Kim, are looking for lost Chica around the neighborhood.  Mauricio, Kyle and Portia show up to help Brandi post lost posters and look for Chica.  Brandi has fired Cameron, her assistant, and she told her boys Cameron lost the dog.  Chica wasn’t wearing her tags.  That’s not good.  We all know now Chica was never found and Brandi will probably never know what really happened to her.

Ugh!  Carlton and her sex playroom.  Not only do we have to watch Carlton and Brandi flirt with each other.  We have to watch Carlton and her nanny flirt with each other.  I wonder if we’ll ever see Carlton flirt with the person she should be flirting with – her husband!  We get to see all of her various sex toys.  Watching her demonstrate one of them is not a pretty sight.  Not sure what Carlton is trying to convey here.  I guess that she has no inhibitions and that she’s adventurous.  Whoop-de-doo.  I’m not impressed.

(How is what Carlton doing not sexual harassment of her nanny.  She pays the young lady to look after her children, but makes it clear that she is interested in sex as well.  Is the young lady in the position to say no without losing her job?  It was all sorts of levels of wrong to me.  NMD)

Next up are two nice pleasant scenes.  One is of Lisa and Ken supervising the construction of their new restaurant/club.  I like seeing Lisa in the role of business woman and wouldn’t mind seeing more of that.  Kind of like what NoMoreDrama described, Vanderpump Rules without all the drama of the wannabe young actors portraying the waitstaff.  The other is seeing Kim take the training of her dog Kingsley seriously.  I’m so glad to see that happening.  Too bad these scenes were so short.

real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-season-4-yolanda-how-to-be-a-housewifeWhile shopping for flowers, Yolanda tells us she’s going out of her way to make her dinner party beautiful after the disaster of Palm Springs.  Watching all the preparations, I can tell it’s going to be a beautiful party and I wish I was on the invitation list despite who else will be there.  You can tell Yolanda really enjoys preparing for these dinners.   Yolanda is being the bigger, better person by placing Kyle and Mauricio right next to her at the dinner table.  Of course she has to spoil her gesture by saying you have to keep your enemies close.  I notice while Yolanda is getting dressed, Bravo’s cameras zone in on all of her shoes and purses after she specifically said she, unlike other Beverly Hill women, prefers flowers over shoes and purses any day.  It’s funny how these women think they can fool the Bravo producers and the viewers, and further, how the Bravo producers think they can fool us, the viewers.  We’re not rookies anymore, Bravo.

Carlton calls and tells Yolanda she can’t make it because she’s sick and doesn’t want to compromise Yolanda’s immune system.  David and Yolanda think it’s kind of rude of Carlton to cancel at the last minute when she was probably sick before then and could have cancelled earlier.  Not sure what Carlton’s illness was, but it could have been some kind of stomach virus that came on suddenly.  Would they have rather Carlton had shown up sick and exposed everyone to her germs, especially Yolanda?

Sometimes I wonder if Kyle is very smart.  It seems to take her a while to figure things out.  I hope she treads lightly where her so-called friendship with Brandi is concerned.  I wouldn’t trust Brandi as far as I could throw her.  Kyle realizes Brandi treats her well when they are alone, but not when she’s with Lisa and Yolanda.  Get a clue, Kyle.  Don’t tell Brandi anything you don’t want broadcast to the whole world.  She’s already tried to make a big deal out of Mauricio’s cheating scandal.  There are red flags flying all around you.

All the ladies look great at the party, except I need to say Brandi’s hair looks particularly bad.  The cameraperson must think so too, because he/she keeps zooming in on it.  Lisa and Kyle do not have breast implants.  Brandi does.  Information I have been dying to know for a very long time.  Dinner is served.

When I was in elementary school and Valentine’s Day came along, we would use construction paper to make valentine folders where our friends could put their valentines to us.  I always made sure I gave a valentine to everyone in my class, even to those kids I didn’t particularly like.  I’m pretty sure most or all of my classmates did the same.  That memory came to mind as I watched the women talk about who had a heart beside their name on the place cards and who did not.  Does anyone believe Yolanda when she said she did those name tags unconsciously and there was no rhyme or reason to the hearts?  Kyle makes the statement that they have to earn their hearts.  Yolanda replies exactly.  Again with Yolanda’s “You have to earn my friendship” crap.  It’s so old.  No matter if the cameras were rolling or how beautiful or impressive this dinner was, it would have been hard for me to continue sitting there after that and act like I was enjoying myself.  It was an obvious insult and slam to Kyle, Kim and Joyce, and Lisa and Brandi seemed very amused by it.  As Ramona Singer would say – very declasse’.

Yolanda apparently didn’t get the message that a good hostess makes EVERYONE she invites to dinner feel welcomed, even if she likes some of her guests more than others. Perhaps Kyle, Kim or Joyce should give Yolanda a book on proper hostess etiquette for Christmas.

the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-season-4-hero-brandi-joyce-babiesAs dinner proceeds, Lisa whispers to Brandi to behave herself because she can see that she’s drinking too much as usual.  David does a welcome toast to everyone and Yolanda makes a toast to David thanking him for his support during her sickness.  David asks to hear from Joyce in Spanish.  Joyce makes a toast in Spanish while Brandi is making snide remarks about her coming in second place (I’m assuming in a pageant) and during which she and Lisa are giggling like middle school girls.  I’m so glad Joyce is not backing down from Brandi’s petty remarks and calling Brandi on it.

The best part of the episode for me was The Tenors’ performance.  It was lovely.  It wasn’t Brandi’s gangsta rap, for which I am grateful.  I wish I could have heard the entire song.  The dinner ended on a high note.  On the way home, Joyce and Michael talk about how they love David and enjoyed their evening, despite Brandi’s drunken, ugly behavior.  Michael mentions that Brandi may need an intervention and Joyce says she will leave that for the dream team to handle, meaning Yolanda and Lisa.

To date, Yolanda and Lisa continue to disappoint and it’s bumming me out.  Kyle, Kim and Joyce are not getting on my last nerve.  Carlton is quickly becoming forgettable.  Oh, yeah. Brandi is still a hot mess.


Dear Santa by Stars99

Dear Santa,

I know this letter is coming to you very, very late… But please, Santa… There are several “Real Housewives” who immediately need your intervention…  These Bravolebrities have for the most part been very, very naughty and not very nice at all this year.  But please Santa, rather than give them the compulsory coal in their stocking, I have made a list of some helpful and heartfelt suggestions for you.  Any consideration you can give in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

As always, you will find a plate of freshly baked sugar cookies, a cup of ice cold milk, and a thermos of steaming hot non-fat Espresso Macchiato for your enjoyment on the table in the living room.  Also included is a laser flashlight in case Rudolph has issues with that pesky light in his nose again.



Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Joyce – An extra-strength scrunchie… So she can pull her long, luxurious Pantene commercial-worthy hair back into a ponytail and stop annoying everyone. But then again, what would Brandi have left to complain about?  Oh and Joyce would probably also like to have world peace… Cuz isn’t that what ALL pageant girls wish for?

Carlton – A sense of humor.  Seriously.  If that’s not possible, then a dvd of the “Bee Movie”, a cd of the Bee Gee’s Greatest Hits, and “The Singing Bee” dvd video game. 

Carton’s Cat Midnight – A pillow that magically appears anytime it’s needed.

Kyle – The book, “Endgame: Bobby Fischer’s Remarkable Rise and Fall – from America’s Brightest Prodigy to the Edge of Madness”… Checkmate, Kyle.  (It’s an actual book… honest! Lol)

Mauricio (Kyle’s husband) – A new eye… Cuz we’ve heard one of his eyes has allegedly wandered off a bit…

Kim – A clue… Cuz while her talking heads are rather entertaining this year, she has absolutely no clue how to relate to anyone on the show but her dog, Kingsley.

Kingsley (Kim’s dog) – The book, “How to Train Your Owner:  A Dog’s Guide to Getting What You Want Whenever You Want it.”  Wait, he probably already has it.  Hmmm… Then perhaps a doggie treat of some kind that’s nice for him to chew on and that he can tear apart… Like perhaps a new couch or something.

Brandi – Digestible soap because she needs to cleanup her act from the inside out.  Too bad she can’t actually eat a loofah cuz there’s some serious scrubbing that needs to happen.   Plus an obligatory a trip to a rehab center to cure her “drinking solution.”  Oh, and some clothes… She obviously needs clothes that are made from more than 6 inches of fabric.  And duct tape to cover her mouth to keep her from blurting out stuff.  Wow… I’d better stop now cuz this particular list could get pretty dang long…

Yolanda – A lower horse – So she can step off her high horse.  It’s a win/win since this would give her daughter a new horse to ride…

David (Yolanda’s beloved husband/king) – A new crown because the shine is quickly coming off his public persona… Although arguably, he still is a musical genius. 

Yolanda’s Glass Refrigerator – Curtains… Cuz some things are just meant to be private!

Lisa – Tap shoes… Cuz she will need a new pair after all the tap dancing she’s done this season.  Too bad “Dancing with the Stars” doesn’t use tap dance as a type of dance in which contestants compete cuz Lisa would have aced that one…

Ken (Lisa’s husband) – Some more lines on the show… Cuz really, he’s the only one who has made any sense this season thus far (I’m sure that will change soon enough…lol)

Giggy (Lisa’s dog) – An anti-puppy collar… Cuz that new puppy just bugs him.

New Dog (Lisa’s new dog) – A fiddle, and then a second fiddle… Cuz sadly, that’s all he’ll ever be while Giggy is around.


Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kenya – Icy Heat… Cuz I’m sure she’s hurt her back from all her recent twerking.  Or perhaps a new fan cuz I’m sure the fan she used on last year’s reunion show is the only fan she has.

NeNe – Another nerve – Cuz it always seems like someone’s danced on her last nerve.

Greg – A hobby… So he stops smothering NeNe.

Porsha – The books, “The Scope of Freedom (The Leadership of Hosea Williams with Dr. King’s Summer ’65 Student Volunteers)” and “The Underground Railroad for Kids: From Slavery to Freedom with 21 Activities”… So Porsha’s grandfather (Hosea Williams) doesn’t stay rolled over in his grave after watching Sunday’s episode… Oh, and a toga… So Porsha has something to wear with those ugly sparkly gladiator shoes she wants so badly to buy.

Kandi – A crazy mom “Craymommeter” that will ring bells and sound alarms that will alert her when her mom starts acting cray cray so she can be cued to take appropriate evasive action.

Todd (Kandi’s fiancé) – A Teflon or Calphalon suit… So all future insults his future mother-in-law hurls at him will just slide off of him and not adversely affect his relationship with Kandi.

Cynthia – A new husband… Cuz the one she has lies to her face and doesn’t appear to respect her at all.   

Peter – A permanent “Truth Patch” that he has to wear that requires him to be entirely truthful to Cynthia about everything.

Phaedra – A can of spinach to go with that “Popeye” face she makes all the time.

Apollo – A new phone with no texting ability… Texting seems to get him in trouble.


Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona – A play date with Kim Richards… Cuz they seem to both like turtle time.

Mario – A GPS locator to stealthily tag Ramona… Cuz she’s always all over the map.

LuAnne – A box of “Count Chocula” cereal… Cuz that’s as close to a real “Count” as she’ll ever get… at least for a while.

Heather – A can opener… So she can easily pry herself out of her “Yummy” shapewear.

Carole – A net… Cuz she keeps dropping names everywhere.

Aviva – A creepometer… Cuz she really needs something that alerts her to just how creepy her dad acts.

Aviva’s dad, George – Extra-strength Slime Away Shower Gel… Cuz he really needs to unslime himself.

Alex – Somewhere fancy she can go so that she can wear all those pretty clothes hanging alone in her closet.

Simon – Dozens of fresh roses… So he can be even more of a thorn in Bravo’s side.

Jill (THAT Jill) – A pin… To poke a hole in her obnoxiously inflated ego.

Bobby (Jill’s husband) – Earplugs… For obvious reasons.

Cyndy – Who?  Oh wait, Cyndy Loo Who?  Wasn’t she a character on the “Grinch Who Stole Christmas?”


Real Housewives of Orange County

Vicki – The book, “He’s Just Not that Into You”… Cuz… Ummm… He’s not.  Plus, you can do better.  Just sayin’…

Brooks (Vicki’s on again/off again boyfriend) – The book, “100 Sickeningly Sweet Poems to Manipulate and Romance Unsuspecting Vulnerable Love-Starved Women”… Cuz I’m sure he’s out of his annoying Hallmark one-liners by now.

Briana (Vicki’s daughter) – Blue Magic Heavy Foam Upholstery Cleaner with Stain Guard… Cuz you never know when a guest will put their tired feet up on the couch.  Oh, and some respect for her mother.

Briana’s Husband – The book, “Etiquette for Dummies”… For obvious reasons.  And duct tape to put over his mouth… Cuz he probably should never speak.  Ever.

Tamra – The book, “Emily Post’s Table Manners for Kids”… It should be written simplistically enough for her to easily understand so perhaps her next gathering will not deteriorate into a dinner party from hell.  

Eddie (Tamra’s new husband) – A trash can… So he can finally take Tamra out properly.

Gretchen – Taste… Cuz obviously she has none… She has no taste in men, in fashion, and in friends.  Well, I guess she has taste… it’s just bad taste.

Slade (Gretchen’s fiancé) – The books, “How to Extend your 15 Minutes of Fame” and “I’m Funny, Dammit and other Delusions of Grandeur”… For obvious reasons.

Lydia – The book, “Forever Grateful:  How I Escaped Bravo’s Evil Clutches While Maintaining My Integrity”… For obvious reasons.

Judy (Lydia’s Mom) – A vat of fairy dust… Cuz you can never have too much fairy dust, can you?


The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Caroline – The book, “The Best of Dear Abby”… So she can learn the art of how to give relevant and wise advice from the original advice-giver.   

Albert (Caroline’s husband) – The song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”… For obvious reasons.

Albie (Caroline’s oldest son) – A pair of scissors… To finally cut his umbilical chord to his mother.

Chris (Caroline’s youngest son) – A bottle… To finally wean him off of his mother.

Lauren (Caroline’s daughter) – A new name to replace “Cafface Beauty Bar”… Cuz that’s got to be one of the worst business names ever!

Vito (Lauren’s fiancé) – A pair of tennis shoes… So he can run away as fast as he can from Lauren’s grasp.  Run Vito, Run!  Free Vito 2014©®™  And instant approval for his immediate entrance into the Federal Witness Security Program (WITSEC) so he can safely hide from Lauren and her family forever.

Jacqueline – A mind… Cuz she’s obviously lost hers. 

Chris (Jacqueline’s husband) – The book, “How to Remain Sane When Your Wife is an Insane Bravo Housewife”… For obvious reasons.

Kathy – A remote control for her husband… So she can press the “mute” button when he’s being especially annoying.

Rich (Kathy’s husband) – Aretha Franklin’s “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” song playing on a continuous loop until he finds out “what it means to me” and the other women in his life.  He could also use some duct tape for his mouth.

Melissa – Glade “Powder Fresh” Premium Room Spray… So Melissa can poop with confidence in her own bathroom.

Joe (Melissa’s husband) – Colour Off – Hair Color Stain Remover… For when Joe’s spray painted hair (or lack thereof) leaves stains everywhere… Adrienne Maloof could also probably use some of this for when she leaves her “spray tanning” stains on nice, white chair cushions. 

Teresa – Dvds of the show, “Orange is the New Black”… Cuz it will help her prepare for her unfortunate but inevitable future.

Joe (Teresa’s husband) – The book, “Welcome to Prison–Enjoy Your Stay”… For obvious reasons.  (I almost strayed to a really, really dark side on this one… but it IS Christmas, after all… lol… You’re welcome!)


Real Housewives of Miami

Adriana – The book, “A Liar’s Guide to Keeping Your Stories Straight”… Cuz, well, who could expect her to keep up with her own various conflicting versions of the same story?  And an alarm that others set that emits electric shocks requiring her to be on time for a change.

Frederic (New husband) – A buyer for his yacht… Cuz there is no way in the world that Adriana will ever agree to permanently live on it.  Or perhaps that was all part of his plan?  Hmmmm…

Alexia – Parenting classes on how to teach your kids to respect others… For obvious reasons. 

Joanna – Scruples… Because she obviously has none.

Roman (New husband) – Little blue pills… Cuz he’s married to a sex addict.

Lea – Surgery to remove the stick from her ass… For obvious reasons.

Lisa – A “Tupperware” label to permanently affix to her dupa… So she can be assured she will be burped at night to properly seal in her freshness… Since her body contains so much plastic.

Marysol – An assortment of fine cheeses… To go with her fine whines.

Elsa (Marysol’s Mom) – Health… Cuz isn’t that what we ALL really want for her? And for everyone?

Merry Christmas to all!  God bless us, everyone!


A Christmas Message from Shamrock

May the spirit of Christmas

Still bring you wonder and magic

May the hope within it

Live on in your heart


Be joyous and happy

Be in good company

Have much food to eat

And much love

To fill your soul –


May the light within you

Shine onto all those

You love

And may it come back to you

Throughout the new year to come


May your travels take you to places

Of warmth and open arms

May they be safe and free of



And may the memories you make

This holiday season

Follow you into your dreams

And linger there

To wake you with a smile


My love to you all

And my wish for all

A happy, joyful time

For you and all your care


About Veena (NMD)

Just a housewife ... who loves this place .... and loves to write ... You can reach me through this email: Lynn's Place is in tribute to Housewives blogger Lynn Hudson, who passed away in August of 2012.
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334 Responses to Dear Santa, Here is a Christmas List for the Housewives plus Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

  1. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. Merry Christmas Eve. I hope you’ve all been good this year. I have. LOL. 🙂 The weather is pretty good. I hope yours is too.
    Miss Lainey have a great time w/LaineyGirl. I hope you have a fantabulous holiday w/your baby girl. Now don’t go stalking any Bravolebrities.
    Be good all and have a great day.

    • not THAT Jill™ says:

      Merry Christmas Eve Powell-hope you get a stocking full of Sephora!!!

      • Powell says:

        Merry Christmas Eve JNNTJ. I went there Friday but restrained myself and only got a few samples but I’m going after Christmas. 🙂

    • chismosa™ says:

      Sephora YUMMY enjoy!

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Hahahaha!! You’re no fun!! I hope to go to Sur or Villa Blanc or is it Villa Blanca while I’m there!!! THANKS FOR THE well wishes, Powellypooh and everyone, I will be checking in on y’all while my daughter is at work. Merry Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas!!

      BB – great blog!! good point about Carlton and the blatant sexual harrassment. Just imagine if a man was saying that stuff on camera to a subordinate. up in arms, I tell ya. smdh

      Stars – love your lists. So funny. Love the request for curtains for Yo’s fridge. hahahaha!

      Shamrock – as always, a heartfelt message that hits home.

      I’m leaving on a jet plane later and I can’t wait to see the apple of my eye. Well, one of my apples…ugh, i really don’t have favorites…

      Saw this on twitter on an account I follow called “relatable”…”Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate.” not too profound, i guess, but cute,….just do what you do. LOL!!

  2. Powell says:

    What a beautiful Christmas message Shamrock. Thk you. BIG hug to you.

    • not THAT Jill™ says:

      Yes shamrock-beautiful! Merry Christmas and big hugs to best blog hugger in the world!!!

    • chismosa™ says:

      Yes shamrock you always have such sweet words 🍀🍀🍀🍀

      Melt my cold ❄️❄️heart. Thank you

  3. Powell says:

    Stars you are leaving Santa a non-fat Espresso do I think your letter will be highly considered. The best darn letter for Santa I’ve
    ever seen. 🙂

  4. Powell says:

    NMD I think that’s just why Bravo panned over Yos closet. To say “what you say is different from what we see.” I do think shoes, clothes, etc mean less to her then some of the other ladies but I do believe she does like nice things.

    • not THAT Jill™ says:

      I do believe most of like nice things-Yolanda tried to play like she is above spending on such silly things like shoes and bags but her own closet betrayed her…thankfully her fridge is still “team Yolanda”….

      • These are the scenes I love when watching housewives. The producers poking a little fun at the ladies. It’s amusing and harmless.

      • chismosa™ says:

        Got to tell you I was SO excited to see this fridge and ….. I was very meh …..
        It’s just a glass armoire – glass shelves, see-thru door, low thermostat. Bare bones.
        Doesn’t it have it’s own twitter account? I must look this up.

        • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

          I thought it was fantastic that they named it – capital letters – Yolanda’s Fridge

          Its the most popular character on the show!

          • chismosa™ says:

            That screen shot was hysterical. I wonder if they did that last year – to “introduce ” the side character of Yo’s fridge. Yofri.

            The fridge and Giggy. adorable

  5. TexasTart says:

    Thanks NMD and all of the blog contributors, looks to be a fabulous blog!

    Merry Christmas everyone! 😀

  6. TexasTart says:


  7. Shiny says:

    Stars99 – I LOVE your gift lists – on target and hilarious. Had to postpone drinking my coffee!

  8. TexasTart says:

    • chismosa™ says:

      …….will never understand this ……..

      • Powell says:

        Chismosa what don’t you understand?

        • chismosa™ says:

          Eh the whole thing of Kyle being a practicing Jew but happily celebrating the birth of Jesus.

          Just me! not to get into the whole thing. And I know, her oldest daughter may not be Jewish (in fact I think she’s Indonesian by what I saw of her father?)

          • Powell says:

            Maybe Mauricio is ok that they celebrate both. That’s compromise. I think that’s good.

          • Debbie Cooley says:

            Many Jews celebrate Christmas and according to Jewish law the blood line is from the mother so it would not matter what the fathers religious faith is. Being Indonesian does not mean he is not Jewish either–there are many Asian Jews.

            • chismosa™ says:

              I know that about the mother’s line and many Jews also like to say they feel “ethnically” if not “religiously” Jewish – which I don’t get because Jews are from such a vast selection of countries and ethnicities.

              Many Indonesians are Muslims so he could be that as well. The name Farrah is a beautiful Arabic name.

              I stated another day -so apologies if you didn’t see this- to me it’s a pet peeve. You either choose to believe JC was the messiah or he was an important prophet and not the messiah. To me it’s black and white.
              But I totally get your stance on the mother bloodline. I know that, I grew up in a 97% Jewish neighborhood. If I see a christmas tree I scream out Merry Christmas!!!!! like a banshee.

    • Powell says:

      They are a family of very gorgeous women.

  9. ladebra says:

    Thank you Starzy and NMD and Shamrock. Merry Christmas every one!

  10. Here’s the short preview clip from next episode. So the main reason Brandi is mad at Joyce is because she spilled the beans about what Brandi said about Lisa. I love how everyone is telling Joyce’s husband he shouldn’t get involved as Brandi is calling his wife stupid in front of his face.

    • It’s supposed to be a “make up” dinner hosted by Lisa. Brandi starts off by saying that she and Joyce have mutual friends – and they don’t speak highly of Joyce. Lisa’s face when she realizes that Brandi is about to blow up her dinner party is priceless. Then when Joyce says back at you and Lisa tries to put an end to it, Brandi whines – but she started it,

      Then they bicker about what Brandi said to Joyce about Lisa and Brandi calls Joyce stupid, so Michael tells Brandi not to call her stupid. He says no one else says stuff like that when they fight. Then Joyce calls Brandi stupid and racist for the pool comment.

      So why did Brandi make such a fuss about the restaurant scene being filmed months later when Joyce had already said what she thought directly to Brandi? It makes no sense.

      • not THAT Jill™ says:

        Brandi is so mad that Joyce told Lisa about that damn phone call…maybe Joyce is a truth cannon and she felt like she just HAD TO TELL LISA THE TRUTH…ya know like Brandi has done-with the secret meeting behind Lisa’s back (which I still don’t believe) and telling Adrienne’s secret and all sorts of other things that just can’t be held in. Brandi is getting a taste of truth and she is not liking it one bit. Her dislike of Joyce seems petty and dumb-which is no surprise coming from Brandi.

        • chismosa™ says:

          Ashy please don’t kill me- my head is spinning round round baby right round like a record – but what did Joyce SAY to Lisa about Brandi? Around hair flip time ?

          I’m lost ….. Sorry
          Please don’t kill the BHVIRGIN

          I don’t need to know background from other seasons — though I don’t understand how the other former cast members didn’t behave just as Hoyce is behaving- (you’re all saying this is the 1st time people are standing up to Brandi) ? Why would it be so difficult to behave same way as Miss PR is this year? What’s so special !??? Did those women just sit and stare at Brandi? Not open their mouths?

          • not THAT Jill™ says:

            Chismosa-after the lunch at Carlton’s Brandi called Joyce and talked smack about Lisa-Joyce told Lisa about the convo. Brandi (in my mind) was trying to get Joyce to be team Brandi but Joyce wasn’t having it. Now Brandi is all up in arms b/c Joyce mentioned the call to Lisa and Lisa is giving Brandi the side eye b/c she is starting to see what a moron Brandi is. Brandi thinks it’s all Joyce’s fault-Brandi loves to blame others for her dumbness…and drunkness and stupidness and every ness that is Brandi!!!!

            • chismosa™ says:

              Ok got it — we never SAW the phone call right ? This was just mentioned on the show?
              Or not even on the show- the blogs?
              I just watched all the first 5 or 6 epis a few days ago and don’t remember this mentioned.
              So it’s behind the scenes bull$hit.

        • Powell says:

          Brandi is jealous of Joyce’s looks and her life. That’s all this is.

      • plainviewsue says:

        Just watched the clip. I love Michael. Yes women can handle their own situations, but if someone called me stupid in front of other people, I can promise you my husband would say something. And vice versa.

        And why would Brandi even say that Joyce’s friends don’t speak highly of her? Oh that’s right. Cos anyone who tells Brandi ANYTHING gets outed by this loud mouth.

        • not THAT Jill™ says:

          She couldn’t wait to tell Joyce that the friends didn’t speak highly of her..SHE COULDNT WAIT!! When Joyce turns it on her she doesn’t know what to do so she resorts to acting like an immature 12 year old.

        • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

          “Several” friends…. And one of them is supposedly Brandi’s BFF. Which is funny because every time she claims to have a BFF, he/she has a different name, and this Janelle person wasn’t one of them yet.

        • Amber...Real Wife says:

          In this clip I felt Lisa came off badly. She allows Brandi to be an ass and once the situation escalates Lisa finally says “STOP IT!” to JOYCE!!! REALLY??!!! After all the hateful shit Brandi has spewed including the ‘racist’ comment that Lisa laughed off, now she tells Joyce to cut it out because she wants to protect Brandi? That table needed to know why Joyce was up in arms especially as she is under constant attack from Brandi.

    • Powell says:

      But it’s ok that she put her big bazoo in Adrienne & Paul’s family biz? Such a hypocrite. Should Joyce have said it this way? “Brandi lies about everything. She’s not honest. She’s keeping a secret that everyone knows. Brandi said Lisa was XYZ.” Ugh. Brandi makes my teeth itch.

  11. Pghemtchick says:

    Thank you for the blogs, NMd, BB, Stars (hysterical), and Shamrock. And thanks to everyone who takes the time to blog and comment, it’s a blast! 🙂

    Now to sad news: Lisa’s Christmas gift from Mohammed Hadid flew away! She’s on a search to find him.

  12. chismosa™ says:

    Oh my goddddd dying dying DEAD 🔫💣I am over the blog.
    Thank you thank you thank you to everybody !
    Laughing like such a hyena !!!!

    Blessings to you writers xxoo

    And THANK YOU for the super snotty picture of Hoyce above, that along with last week’s pic of her made my week! Love it 💜💜💜

  13. plainviewsue says:

    Great blog today!!! Stars, fabulous gifts for each and everyone of the housewives.

    I enjoyed the episode last nite. I love seeing the homes of the rich and famous, and I agree, I wish we heard more of the Tenors. I liked that David asked Joyce to speak in Spanish (of course loud mouth Brandi had to try to ruin it).

    Lisa’s blog is up & she said Ken was in a car accident, but thank god he’s okay.

    Wishing everyone a happy and healthy holiday!!!! Love you all.

  14. BB says:

    Thank you Stars for my morning laugh and Shamrock for that lovely Christmas message. And to NMD for what you do all year long. Merry Christmas all!

  15. Amalfi says:

    Beautiful poem, Shamrock. Happy Christmas everybody!!

  16. Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

    Brandi is a master manipulator with her permanent “damsel in distress” stories, can we all agree on this?

    Lisa already said she is stretched too thin and that she’s been a horrible wife, horrible mother, horrible friend, etc. Don’t you think she’s being easy on Brandi just because she is feeling guilty? Brandi is constantly blabbering on about “winning.” Do you not think for one minute that Brandi is maneuvering herself for a complete free pass from Lisa to have her back no matter what? Out of guilt.

    Yes Lisa is overstretched, but the Bitchy Richards sisters argue that she shouldn’t be an executive producer on her own spin-off because THEY are the showbiz bitches on this show and if anyone should have their own show it should be them. She should never have been chosen for “Dancing With The Stars” it should have been them. Yes there is jealousy at play, and FatKyle is totally turned that damn cheating story line on Lisa, instead of Brandi and Camille who brought it to tv in the first place. Where was FatKyle when the gossip rags were attacking Lisa?

    • not THAT Jill™ says:

      If Lisa is being easy on Brandi b/c she feels guilty for being a horrible friend what was her excuse last season? She is exactly the same with Brandi this season as she was last. The only difference is in the blogs. She was laughing last night like Brandi was hysterical when being so rude and bitchy. She admitted she laughed b/c at the time she didn’t like Joyce. It was rude and it was rude of Lisa to laugh. She knows it-she said so in her blog.
      When did the bitchy Richards argue about Lisa being exec producer?
      Kyle wasn’t there when the gossip rags attacked Lisa and she wasn’t bringing it up on the show. Lisa brought the rumors on the show-I’m sure there is a reason why she did it.

    • VV™ says:

      Let’s put this in perspective. Yes, Lisa said the tide was turning and saw some things with Brandi and Yofo that raised red flags. However, Lisa left prior to knowing Brandi’s dig was missing. I think Lisa lowered her guard with Brandi because of what Brandi was going through with Chica. I also, think all of them were cutting Brandi slack including Joyce, until Brandi got under her skin at dinner.

      • not THAT Jill™ says:

        VV-Lisa at that moment was still clearly enjoying Brandi and her drunken antics. She thought Brandi was funny at dinner. She didn’t like Joyce at the time so Brandi wasn’t doing anything wrong in Lisa’s eyes. It doesn’t matter if she was cutting her slack b/c of the missing dog-it matters that Lisa found Brandi’s jokes funny-they weren’t and Lisa isn’t laughing anymore.

        • VV™ says:

          Jill, we know it’s a TV show. They know they are filming a TV show.
          She was still loyal to Brandi and Yofo at the time and Joyce told her gossip about her two friends. Lisa thought Joyce was a pot stirrer.
          She said she was turning the tide NOT that she turned the tide. I think she was being analytical of baher friendship with B & Y.
          Again, it seems that Bravo wants to emphasize Lisa laughing at Brandi. I’d like to know who else laughed at her too. Brandi was drunk…

          • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

            I have a feeling she is about to see Joyce as a sweet woman who is the object of Brandi’s ire for no reason. Lisa, like the rest of us now, wishes Brandi would lose the ability to speak.

          • chismosa™ says:

            Why is production >>> thus Andy>>> turning on Lisa ?
            She is the crown jewel 👑💎💎for this franchise and perhaps even of all of them – she’s often picked as favorite HW ( WWH wedding, example).

            WHY? what gives ? Is Lisa washing her hands of bravo? The Dicks have new plans with Andy?

            It’s so weird Andy lets it get like this— I know he LOVES the drama and breathes to stir this pot but with LISA of all people ?? 🙇⁉️⁉️

            Ratings are down I thought. Yes Brandy’s fault. But the way they’re going about it ….eh

  17. chismosa™ says:

    Ok please don’t send for me —– Princess Pindy READ SOMEONE at a store yesterday so I don’t want to be read or feel “read”. LOL!!!

    —-Chica signs: Phone number on chica signs was blacked out. On one shot looked fuzzed out/ edited out by producers in another sign it was VERY clearly blacked out with a marker or tape. 
    Maybe this was taped after ?— oh strike that – Because later I see in the limo Kyle asks her about the signs. 

    While putting up the signs, was that Salvador, Ross Matthews’ partner ? Wow the connections to E and Chelsea are endless!! Love it. 😼😼

    Kyle doesn’t know the proper way to exit a car but she BUILT Beverly Hills from the ground up! I’m new to her and her gravely voice and visible tongue- blech. 

    I don’t think any of you caught this- it’s dumb but: 
    Kyle’s place card that she held at her mouth had 2 hearts drawn in AND a smiley face AND “XOXO” at the bottom!!!! Bwahahahahhaahaa. That is soooooooooo funny ! They got a pen out to do that. LOLLLLL
    Kyle get over yourself. So funny. 

    -I still don’t understand the purpose of having Hoyce speak in Spanish in a room where only Morris and a bit – Kyle ? Understood it? What is the point of that? I won’t speak another language in a group unless we are ALL speaking it. 
    I would understand a Dutch toast if Yo’s family was there and if (I hope) she is teaching her kids Dutch and Arabic. But Spanish?? Why??? She doesn’t speak that clearly (phonetically I mean) either for a pageant girl. 

    —-What was meant when Nancy said that Yo and David left guests “in the dark” by sitting next to eachother ? Who was in the dark at the table? I’m dying to know ! 

    –Sorry but I love flowers and if I ever marry about 70% of my budget would be on them. Love love love. 

    – I’m new to this – don’t kill me – thanks! 

    • LaineyLainey says:

      What??? You love flowers??? git a rope.

      I won’t address your issue with Joyce speaking in Spanish after being asked by the great David Foster (her host) to do so. Also, Because I think many of us already addressed this when you asked about this in an earlier comment. My opinion remains the same as the last time I answered this question. IMO, She spoke spanish beautifully and her words were gracious. Don’t kill ME. LOLOLOLOL!!! or do.

      For someone who isn’t addressing a question, I used a whole paragraph to NOT address your issues with Joyce speaking in spanish!! hahahaha! the irony is not lost on me. It’s like raiiiiiiiiiiiiin,….on your wedding day!

      • chismosa™ says:

        I didn’t see back there sorry – we move onto the new blog so quickly. – I’ll go read….
        Just her accent is not my cup of tea. And i don’t get the logic! But it’s cool – Jadore her husband.

        Melissa Gorga part II for me. LOL

        • TexasTart says:

          I hear many people speak Spanish and I tell you Joyce does it so beautifully – not just her words but the sound is lime music! That is okay that it’s not your cup…it might make ya’ crazy to live near a southern US border though, so you best stick with LI, lol 😉

          • LaineyLainey says:

            True, TT – – her accent is pretty. Mine is so bad. We call it “pocho” here near the border. It is what it is.

          • chismosa™ says:

            Don’t worry we have our fair share here as well. But of course Texas is very tex/mex mix. A deep history.

        • djprincessc says:

          Chismosa, I get what you mean about the accent. I know it sounds HORRIBLE, but I can’t stand the Cuban accent. no offense to anyone please! I’m sorry I just can’t, I always know when someone is Cuban. But then again I can usually tell hispanic accents. Anyways, Puerto Rican’s sound very much like Cubans but not quite the same, so I can see why Joyces accent isn’t your favorite. Puerto Rican accents don’t bother me at all though. Weird.

      • Amber...Real Wife says:

        Chismosa you better not be messing w/ my fellow countrywoman’s accent! She was specifically asked to make the toast in her native tongue. If DavidFo had asked Joyce’s husband to toast in German i’m sure he would’ve obliged as well. DaFo seems to be a man who would probably know a few languages or at least be appreciative of the beauty of the romance languages. At this point in the game I would take ColonelClink, RoseanneBarr or SophiaVergara’s singing a toast than to hear the profane drivel that comes out of Brandi’s mouth.

        • chismosa™ says:

          Amber I never knew you were boricua.

          It was not necessarily rude of Joyce and it could be rude of her to say no to giving a toast — but david didn’t implore her to – it seemed planned like –“”- and now the Starlight Lounge presents to you: JOYCE! “💃💃💃💃💃

          If anything it’s more rude from David but I don’t ‘get him’ quite yet. So maybe his intentions were very cultural and intellectual 👐

          See downthread I spoke more on this. Quite enough on it I think ! Haha

    • not THAT Jill™ says:

      Salvador was indeed Ross Matthews partner-Brandi loves him and tweets to him often.
      The phone number was blacked out on the signs b/c Brandi put her actual phone number and some people were prank calling her.
      Joyce said in her blog that her husband busted out a pen and drew the hearts on the name cards-which I find hysterical.
      The Spanish speech didn’t seem like a weird thing to me-I don’t know why? It’s not like I’m ever at a fab dinner party where people give toasts in different languages!!! (Only sober or drunk and they don’t really count)
      Kyle really needs lessons on how to exit a car gracefully-so does Brandi and Brandi didn’t really need to mention that her 3 inch dress needed to be adjusted-I think we all noticed!!!

      • chismosa™ says:

        Yes I would imagine watching this hoity toity franchise these women would know to close knees in car then swivel out — especially the one who built this city. Brick by brick.

        Not the hot mess from Sacramento – she doesn’t put on airs of being of this crowd.

    • TexasTart says:

      Oh right, chismosa, we are merciless and going to string you up for not understanding all things BH?! Hahaha. I thought Kyle adding the hearts on her card was HILARIOUS! Several people responded to your toast question, so I’ll bring mine over from the last blog …

      The official toast of the evening was made by David, as an appreciation to guests. Then Yolanda chimed in appreciation for David. Then Da id asked Joyce to say something in Spanish (I don’t remember his exact words). She did, in the form of a toast of appreciation to the host and hostess.

      So I don’t believe she was a actually asked to toast. But it was beautiful – sans Brandi’s ugly comments. I suppose David is in frequent company of people who speak other languages and he considers it a talent – or entertaining at a dinner party to share such talents.

      • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

        Kyle and Michael surely speak Spanish. Yolanda and Lisa “probably” speak some. David probably speaks it with all his multi-cultural acts. It didn’t really seem like a big deal. But in Brandi’s eyes, Joyce was scoring points in their game, and had to make a bigger fool out of herself.

        • chismosa™ says:

          Yes by that point Brandy was on her maybe 4th glass of wine.

          I wonder if maybe she doesn’t eat sufficiently when she drinks. NOT an excuse for her behavior but her getting wasted so quickly.

      • chismosa™ says:

        Hmmmmm ok. You make me think …..

        I’m just very sensitive of speaking any other language around any non-speaker of that language. It was how I was brought up. My mother won’t even actually speak in her native Spanish to someone somewhere if they speak to her in Spanish. I know I know, come next generation the minorities will be non-Hispanics blah blah blah.

        It’s an odd thing I grew up with. but thanks; you make me think.
        Thanks Tarts 😙😙

        This david is a quirk. I must say. But I never knew he wrote / co-wrote the Prayer – and all his other songs. It’s astounding !!!!

        • TexasTart says:

          I was mystified by your not understanding what DF did and partially because I remembered your mother spoke Spanish. Thanks for explaining how she feels a out using the language and how that molds the way you think. Completely understandable.

          It’s so different here. People speak Spanish around people who don’t know the language here all the time. Seriously, all the time without conscience – as that is, in some cases, it is the only language they speak.

          • chismosa™ says:

            Well I don’t want to get into a whole thing but it’s America …..learn English. No matter the influx of who from where nor how many. I’m firm on that.
            Just like if I move to France I’m going to speak French.

            But I get you Tarts, Texas is a whole other BALLGAME! I’m sure Southern California is similar as is south Florida.
            Love ya xxoo

            • Laineylainey says:

              I believe Joyce HAS learned English, so that shouldn’t concern you too much regarding her speaking in Spanish at the dinner (after the host asked her to) LOL!!! You should go to my nail salon, Chismosa!! Vietnamese all the way!!! I and my Spanish speaking friends started speaking in Spanish matching the volume of their voices, as well. It stopped them dead in their tracks and we all cracked up really hard!! The other patrons – the ones who only speak English – loved it and laughed along with us!! One lady said, I’ve always wanted to do that in here, but I only speak English. The owner still talks about it sometimes when I go in there (every two weeks). Sometimes, there is a girl there who talks nonstop. I asked Kelly once to please ask her to lower her voice (i was listening to my voicemails). She said, is it the vietnamese that’s too loud? I told her please ask her to stop yelling in every language. Again, laughter from everyone in the salon, especially Ms. Loudy.

              Maybe they flip me off when I leave, who knows? They like my business, we all understand that language $$.

              • chismosa™ says:

                We have Korean nail salons here ….. And that’s why I don’t go there! (Plus I don’t think they’re clean)

                I’d have to pull a frank costanza and have an interpreter find out what they’re saying. Lol

      • iceNfire says:

        David’s exact words were “And now we will her from Joyce in spanish”
        imo the whole thing was rude

        • chismosa™ says:

          Sorry; I agree with you. 👽👍

        • TexasTart says:

          Interesting that y’all think it’s rude. One thing we don’t know is if everyone was asked to comment in some way. Even at that rate, it seems you both would still find it rude because it being a different language.

          • chismosa™ says:

            I mean it’s just – it’s a dinner party and all should feel welcome and included. I don’t like being with 2 people and hearing a language I don’t understand let alone a large dinner party. But that’s just IMMO (in my mean opinion ) lol

            However – I can see that many here think there is some ‘cultural’ thing David was trying to offer. Who knows.

            Blogs perhaps tell more —– maybe Michael spoke in German and Yo in Dutch.
            Producers clearly were on the path to get Brandi anti- Joyce (and yes the Miami comments were rude to say out loud of course). And cameras straight on Lisa …… 😕

            I think Brandi needs to eat. Maybe she’s not EATING! And all this alcohol ……???
            But everyone would talk about that so ….

            • I suspect that is exactly what happened – they went around the table and each were given a chance to say something in their own language.

              Now can you imagine if Bravo hadn’t left in David’s direction to Joyce to give the toast in Spanish – people would have been so furious at her for doing it and calling her all kinds of rude. Editing really can influence how we see things.

              The only one that I saw being rude i that scene was Brandi. Interrupting someone when they’ve been asked by the host to give a toast is extraordinarily rude.

              • chismosa™ says:

                I totally totally GET that.

                Please all advise if the blogs say anything.

                Does Joyce say her “baby” gave a speech too!?!!

                I get you NMD.

  18. I think I just understood what that dinner at Lisa’s is about.

    Michael is a rich business man. He’s being asked by other business men (Mohammud, Martin, and Ken) to leave Brandi alone and not step in to the housewife feud. Brandi’s actions towards Joyce are beginning to affect her somehow. Mohammud is also defending Lisa. Michael must have some sort of influence over these men and they are trying their best to protect the ladies from their own actions against his wife.

    I wonder if Mohammud also protects Brandi. Two of the women at the table are women he respects and loves (Lisa and Yo). Then there is Brandi who is a good friend of both of those ladies at this point.

    What does Michael do?

    • VV™ says:

      I saw Lisa was trying to broker a peace agreement between Brandi and Joyce.
      Yofo was less than impressed (IMO) when Mohamed spoke so fondly of Lisa. Yofo is jelly, always was.
      I seriously doubt the non cast that was there was to ask Joyce’s husband to back off Brandi. What’s in it for them? Why would they gang up? Martin and Mohamed are sometimes featured on the show.
      Don’t forget Joyce’s husband can act too as on the restaurant scene, he pretended he didn’t know about what had happened on PS.
      Unless PumpRules which we can see are filming simultaneously and they were there for that too. (Guessing)

      • LaineyLainey says:

        Yes, Joyce’s hubby CAN ACT. that was funny,…especially since Brandi spilled the beans and revealed that this was filler. She is just so smart. Shooting herself in the foot?

      • chismosa™ says:

        VV I’m with you. Michael married a seemingly strong independent woman (2 degrees, etc) – not sure how long they are married… this big sit down to protect his fragile wife?

        HOANNA will no doubt be tuning in with eager tweets. Blech 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽

        This reminds me of Jill Z vs Mario or vs Simon on NY. I have to think about how much the husbands stepped in or not. Of course it’s not apples to apples.

    • Anne says:

      According to IMDB and Wiki, Michael is a movie producer and owns a company called Infinity Media. Among other movies, he produced Capote (Philip Seymour Hoffman won a best actor oscar for his performance in this movie, Human Stain (with Nicole Kidman) and Saved! (which is a satire about evangelical christians and I thought was very funny). Wiki describes his father as a German investment banker and his mother as a socialite and UNESCO ambassador. There is also a reference to his family’s investment bank in the Wiki article. He isn’t 40 yet (born 1974 according to Wiki), so although he comes from a wealthy family, it looks like he has also made his own money.

      • chismosa™ says:

        I said it the other day – Saved is one of my fave teen-ish movies. It’s fantastic! Mary Louise Parker !

        • Anne says:

          I think Mandi Moore is excellent in Saved! So was Jena Malone.

          • iceNfire says:

            Maybe b/c I don’t like Joyce, I have it in my head that she is a trop[hy wife. Yo understand this b/c she was once one to Mohammad and doesn’t like it. Branidi and Carlton see it and don’t like that Joyce married for money – InMyMeanOpinion

          • chismosa™ says:

            Totally agree with you. Mandy Moore is usually dull acting-wise but was great in it. The whole movie was great.

      • kit9 says:

        Her husband’s bio of films is impressive. One interesting note is he produced a movie that Brandi’s ex stared in while they were still married. Notably not one of Michaels impressive offerings.

        • Anne says:

          I thought the list of films was impressive too. I missed the film with Brandi’s ex — wonder if that explains some of the animus toward Joyce?? Brandi doesn’t seem to try to flirt with Michael the way she does with other husbands. I thought maybe it was editing — but maybe it didn’t happen for other reasons.

  19. Good Morning everyone, Thank You all for the wonderful blogs and poems.

    I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. You all are very special to me and I wish you and your families a very happy and health holiday.

  20. Unless ALL the housewives were asked to make their own toast, I find David singling out Joyce to make a speech as very suspect.

    I think that DF is an arrogant jerk who as a childish and sarcastic sense of humor, re his comment at his “Walk of Fame” Star about Stevie Wonder “Is everyone seeing what I am seeing, I am seeing Mr. Stevie Wonder”. I find that comment very suspect and on the same level as Brandi saying she took a picture of Stevie, then surmised that he ‘probably didn’t notice’.

    In the same way that his wife adding ‘hearts’ to her ‘teams’ names was an underhanded act of aggression (and I am not buying for one second that it was subconscious given her conversation with her ‘friend’ about who should sit where) . IMO David tried to put attention on Joyce knowing that that messy pig Brandi would crack off.

    • chismosa™ says:

      I like it.

    • LaineyLainey says:

      Yeah, he shoulda asked Brandi to make a special toast, too. What might that have been like? anyone? anyone? raise your glasses while Brandi makes a toast….

    • Anne says:

      We don’t know that he didn’t ask others to speak, since the dinner party was edited to about 15 – 20 minutes (not include the cocktails). The whole dinner party edit seemed odd to me. It seemed that people were switching seats constantly — change of camera angles or editing? I also find it hard to believe that The Tenors weren’t honored guests, they are signed to Verve Records and according to my google search, performed with David Foster in LA on June 1st (I found the concert review on line). Plus, when Yo extended the invite, she said that the dinner was for The Tenors. To me, that would mean that the guests would all sit together at dinner. Of course, I didn’t graduate from the RHW school of hostessing, so what do I know?

      I do find it entertaining how much time these women spend on instructing each other about manners and politeness. Still trying to decide which of these ladies in BH is Hyacinth Bucket. It seems to change from episode to episode. “teamnoneofthem”

      • LaineyLainey says:

        The Hyacinth Bucket award goes to…..drumroll….it’s a tie!!! b/t Yo and Joyce!!
        “The Boo-Kay residence, the lady of the house speaking!!!”

      • iceNfire says:

        I caught that too. David announced The Tenors as world famous but didn’t invite them to the dinner table. Reminded me of Carson and Lord Grantham arranging a tray to be taken to The Diva’s room

      • chismosa™ says:

        Anne I agree with you that the seat switching was happening a LOT and there were a LOT of courses laid out in the kitchen that we didn’t see all come out.
        That steak / filet mignon with the scallops on it looked divine!
        There was some avocado fish thing appetizer I wanted to see them eat – like stacked up or something. Looked so so good.

        Also DF looked like he was taking and making notes with the Tenors so you’re right it could have been a performance.

        VV needs to mark this down on any calendar anyone is keeping. Timeline. …… ⏳📅📅📆📆📆

        • Anne says:

          Yes, Chismosa, I was trying to figure out the timeline too. DF got his star on May 31st. The Tenors concert was June 1st (a Saturday). Brandi’s lost dog reported June 5 or 6th, which appears to coincide with the PS trip. So, was dinner with The Tenors on June 11th (the Tuesday after the PS trip)? I did a quick search and could not find much about The Tenors 2013 tour schedule (admittedly, I didn’t look too hard). Or was the dinner with The Tenors before the PS trip and was Bravo playing games with timeline? Anyone know?

          • chismosa™ says:

            That’s a good one —- PS happening after —-

            I’d have to analyze Joyce’s actions though because maybe she WAS friendly to Brandy at the dinner but bravo cut that out (yes Brandi went KooKoo) – and then maybe Joyce decided at PS to be on a fresh start with her. Open.


            VV 🆘🆘🚨🚨🚨🚨🚔🚔GET on this …..

            • Anne says:

              Ok, I am admittedly procrastinating by continuing to research this…. According to reviews on Ticketmaster, the Tenors were in San Diego on 5/31; LA on 6/1; Des Moines on 6/9, Minneapolis on 6/14, Indianapolis on 6/15, Newark, NJ on 6/23 and Atlanta on 6/26. I think we have more Bravo editing with regards to sequence of events.

            • VV™ says:

              Of course Bravo messes up Time lines. Yofo’s’ becoming a US citizen is part of her storyline and that happened on May 23, 2013. We have yet to see it on the show.

      • Hi Anne, yes we don’t ‘know’ if the other ladies were asked to speak although I would find it kind of unusual if the were asked. There would have been more speeches/toasts at the dinner than most wedding I have been to lol.

        ITA agree with you on how I thought it was really off that the supposed guests of honor did not have a place at the diner table.

        OMG HAHAHAHA over the Hyacinth comment. I love that show. I don’t know who Hyacinth is but I am going to say that Brandi is Rose.

        • Anne says:

          Hi RR — I agree, I found it odd that Joyce was asked to speak and in spanish. I can’t decide if it was a producer requested speech or something that Joyce asked to do. It seems out of character for David to make such a request on the fly — especially given Yo’s prior comments about Joyce in her blogs. Of course, we will never really know.

          Did anyone else hear Yolanda greet Michael in German, when Joyce and Michael arrived? (I think it was German)

          Yep, Brandi is totally Rose. Sometimes she is Patsy and Edina from Absolutely Fabulous combined. (Yes, I love those british sitcoms and I find it highly entertaining to watch RHWs and try to decide which character is Hyacinth or some other character from one of those shows).

          As for Hyacinth, I think that LaineyLainey is right, and it changes from show to show.

          • chismosa™ says:

            Dutch and German are extremely extreeeeemely similar so I’m sure Yo knew the basic ‘hi how are you ‘….

            Boy I need to watch this dinner scene again ! So much to analyze

            • Anne says:

              Yes, my sister had a friend who was Dutch and fluent in Dutch, German, French (lived in Belgium for awhile) and also Spanish (family vacationed on Mallorca).

          • Hi Anne, there is something so smarmy about DF that I just don’t trust his actions.

            I also think that Yo and Michael were speaking German too.

            My favorite BBC sit comes at the moment are Mrs. Browns Boys ( thank you khlm for turning me on to it , if you are still here and lurking) and Still Game.

      • Pghemtchick says:

        Here’s a pondering: did they really eat together and what we saw was the rehashed scene. We see heartgate, toasts, food being served to select hw’s then we goto dessert. Is it possible the food shots were edited in after? Ie everyon sat together ate random shots taken the tenors go warm up, bravo toast scene shot and heartgate? Tape is then manipulated to only piece together hearts, speeches, food, dessert. Could explain random seat changes.

    • kit9 says:

      Apparently one the obnoxious comments Brandi made during Joyce’s toast that had her and Lisa cackling was, “”Shut the f— up we’re not in Miami”.

  21. Uggg, Heather from RHOC is co-hosting Good Day this morning. yuk.

  22. chismosa™ says:

    Nancy: I pretty much have pink eye.

    Don’t know how the hell I got it!!!! I’m not in pain so that’s good.
    I can’t go to mass tonight like this !?!?!? Yikes ! No eye makeup! Lol

  23. VV™ says:

    No blogs from Kyle, Kim and Brandi. Shhhhh ( they are coordinating digs at Lisa)

  24. boston02127 says:

    Thank you for the blog NMD. TY Starz for the funny list and TY Shamrock for the beautiful words.

  25. Amalfi says:

    I don’t particularly care for Kyle, but I have to say, based on how childish Yolanda and Lisa (surprisingly) are being and how typically Brandi that Brandi is being, and how creepy new witch Carlton is in pretty much every way, the Richards are the least offensive to me. That is painful to write as they annoyed the heck out of me for the past few seasons. Jury’s out on Joyce, but I am Team Joyce’s Hubby.

  26. lulu says:

    Merry Christmas everyone. Beautiful poem Shamrock!!! Starsy and BB love u both!!! Awesome recaps!!!! 😉

  27. Exit4 says:

    I didn’t watch because I was out with real, normal friends! Lol! Not these frenemies on housewives! 🙂

    But I get the gist from the recap….anyway-Lisa is doing what many people do here on the blog-siding 100% with someone they like. And finding ways to justify anything and everything they do. Last year I jokingly called Brandi “bimbo Brandi” and someone (I can’t remember who) looked up the definition and found a way for it to NOT apply to Brandi! That’s loyalty people! See VV and her voracious support of Lisa and Billie Jean king style tennis matches with Jill! (Which I love BTW)!

    And just like what happens here in the blog-after Lisa got to really know who and what Brandi is-she changed her tune and sees it differently. Sort of what happened with Teresa when Melissa came along.

    Brandi-who I believe ruined this show-is having a midlife crisis. She is unsettled at 40. And she’s jealous of those who are settled. While u agree that her ex was terrible in what he did-if Brandi is like this all the time (and I suspect what you see is what you get) marriage to her must have been exhausting.

    Off on a Xmas Eve roll hunt. God help me!

    • chismosa™ says:

      What is a roll hunt ? Is this a stupid question ? 😳

    • Exit4 says:

      Lol! And me too Boston.

      The roll hunt-a joke that became a family tradition is that we eat cheesesteaks on Christmas Eve (and given that we’re Philadelphia Jersey it’s not totally weird!)

      The key to a good cheesesteak is the roll. Which is why out of area “authentic Philly cheesesteaks” suck! For some reason, getting the good rolls can be a nightmare on Christmas Eve. They MUST be fresh, not day old and definitely NOT defrosted!

      Someone up there must like me this year, because I got them first shot! It’s the little things….Merry Christmas and God Bless us everyone! 🙂

      • not THAT Jill™ says:

        I’m so glad I popped back on and saw this-I love family traditions for Christmas!! (And ones that involve food are my fave!!) glad you found the roll with ease! Merry Merry!!!

  28. It’s a festivus miracle. , Bravo actually posted one of my comments are Carlton’s blog.

  29. not THAT Jill™ says:

    Time to get my Christmas cheer working!! Merry Christmas to all-you are amazing people and I love spending time here with each of you-have a magical Christmas…I hope all of the little ones love their gifts from Santa!!! Merry Merry!!! 🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅❤️❤️❤️

  30. Nancy says:

    Lainey & PP…Send in the Clowns.

  31. Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

    OT and not new, but just saw this and had to share. Funniest HW photo EVER!

  32. Nancy says:

    Great blogs today. Thank-you. Happy Christmas Eve to all.

    chismosa…If I were you I would go to an Urgent Care Centre if you can’t get in to see your
    doctor. I believe Rite Aid have them near the Pharmacy. It shouldn’t take very long.

    Lainey…I’m not sure if you are already out here but the sun is out so (needless to say) I
    was wrong about the snow. (That’s what the weather guy said) Have a great time with
    your DD. Please tell her Merry Christmas for me. 🙂

    • chismosa™ says:

      I can’t I have to sleep a bit. Had to wait for the exterminator, things around here — – I’m going to ride this out

      Tomorrow I guess I can see if any of those people are open. It’d be great if Pharmacists could give this out freely.
      Thanks Nancy! Merry christmas to you and Georgie poo.

    • chismosa™ says:

      Nancy development – I found an urgent care open tomorrow that takes my insurance. Yay!

      I guess you really need drops for pink eye. Can’t go without them I suppose – or maybe it just shortens the time you have it?

  33. chismosa™ says:

    Her son has become so handsome

    I like that she puts her kids names first. My mom always did that.

  34. Powell says:

    Hey peeps. I’m home and watching A Christmas Carol. This is my 2nd Scrooge movie this holiday season. We got off 4hrs early. I left work at 12 and ran a few errands and home is where I’ll be. I’ve got a few more presents to wrap.

  35. Good afternoon, ladies.

    BB- Thank you very much for your take on this show. You all know by now I can barely take any of these people anymore. Still #teamnoneofthem.

    Stars, you’ve outdone yourself, again 🙂

    To the giver of the best internet hugs known to humankind, Nice job ((((Shamrockblonde))))

    To everyone, some 2 year old Christmas cheer from The Hound and me…Merry Christmas everyone.

  36. kit9 says:

    Check out this dialict quiz of the US from the NYT. It nailed me within a few hundred miles. Funny!

    • Nancy says:

      Hi kit…BB posted this yesterday and it was spot on with me as well.

      • Not for me, but I am kind of a mix up. I am Irish by birth and have grown up with Irish expressions and annotations, then followed by living in Toronto then here in CA. The survey though I was from Omaha or Nebraska

        • Nancy says:

          I was surprised as I learned English in Canada.

          Merry Christmas RR. 🙂

        • jeang says:

          Mine was mixed up as well. I was born in central fla, been here all my life and grandparents from Ala and Ga but I think because I have been here around all these transplanted folks from all around America, they had mine as somewhere in Texas or Louisiana. I have never been to Texas and only vacationed about 6 times in New Orleans. Confused to say the least.

      • lillybee says:

        Me too.

        • Nancy says:

          Hi lillybee…loved the video you posted on the last blog. I remember
          that audition they did. They did end up touring over in Europe I believe.
          I think he has a wonderful musical future ahead of him.

    • chismosa™ says:

      I need to freakin TAKE THIS TEST

    • TexasTart says:

      Very interesting. The quiz correctly chose Austin for me and the other two cities were in the midwest…which might explain why some people (in phone conversations) have thought I’m from the midwest!

    • Exit4 says:

      Put me right in Philadelphia! 100% correct! I think it was hoagie that gave it away. And while we are at it-it’s Jimmies that you put on ice cream. NOT sprinkles!

    • Wow, I took the test and it pegged me. My three cities were Santa Clarita, 20 mins to the north of where I grew up, Glendale, 20 mins to the south, and Anaheim, an hour away from my hometown. Notice how I use time and not miles, is that a California thing??

      • I remember that from when I was out there after I graduated HS. If you don’t have a watch, don’t bother asking anyone for directions because it was all done by minutes. I also learned Why.. 10 miles or even 1 mile can take an hour to cover, on a freeway.

        • Yep, you never know until you get on the Freeway how long it will take you, lol! If I go down to San Diego to the big malls I always try and get on the fwy by a certain time if you miss the window of opportunity by 10 mins it can mean a hour wasted in traffic!! And there is one merge that is under the flight path of the airport and I was stuck in traffic. I almost had a heart attack cuz I didn’t know what the noise was and I looked up and there was an airplane right above me, scared me to death!!!

          • Heheheee.. The house where I lived before here, the planes flew so low on the approach to the airport, you could almost see the people inside them. The take-offs are the worse especially from the international flights with the 757s..

    • Powell says:

      🙂 Philli, New York and Newark. HA!! I was born in NY. Lived there until 4/5 & I now live in MD. Yes a sandwich w/cold cuts, lettuce, tomatoes, etc is a hoagie.

      • lillybee says:

        With almost 40 years living in California, it still nailed me as being from NYC with Yonkers and Newark as an alternative

        • Exit4 says:

          My alternatives were Newark and Yonkers too. I think because a lot of the terms etc I use are northeastern in general.

      • kit9 says:

        lol! I expected it to get the general region right but surprised to see just HOW accurate it was. And, a sandwich with cold cuts, lettuce, tomatoes, etc is a sub! 🙂

  37. kit9 says:

    woops, typo..should be dialect..dialict sounds dirty…lol!

  38. Nancy says:

    IMHO the reason David Foster didn’t invite “his” Tenors to the table with them is…
    Chris Botti/”Taylor” Armstrong. Need I go on? He wasn’t going to subject his
    musical colleagues to that again.

    • iceNfire says:

      Oh Yeah! Good catch Nancy!

    • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

      Well, maybe that, BUT these types of singers don’t eat right before their performances. They need those diaphragms squeaky clean.

      • Nancy says:

        ?? Chris Botti ate with them.

        • Rebecca is sick of the FatKyle victim storyline says:

          He doesn’t sing. Celine Dion and Josh Groban both said they don’t eat before a performance, and I remember my grandfather saying the signers he worked with never ate with the band. He played for a couple famous ladies and they didn’t want to burp during their performances.

  39. chismosa™ says:

    If I don’t catch anyone later have a wonderful healthy happy Christmas Eve! We celebrate Eve and not day really. So tonight we party! 🍷🍷🍷Brandy-style. JK! I’m preparing my toast in Italian and we have some French jazz singers coming in to perform by the piano. 😜

    Merry merry to you all, a lovely and so, so (so-so? Haha) loving group
    xxoo 💛💙💜💚❤️😘

  40. Nancy says:

    The Tenors…

    • Nancy says:

      Musically this is David at his best. Hallelujah. The harmonies are beautiful.

    • lillybee says:

      Another version of that song. Perfect timing since it was sung at the last winter Olympics.

      • looneylucy says:

        Thanks for this ladebra. Haven’t heard this particular one. I love KD Lang singing this song. I have one on my favorites singing the same wearing a baggy black outfit, barefooted. Totally hair-raising. And I also loved her singing with Tony Bennett. What a beautiful voice.

        • looneylucy says:

          Sorry lillybee, I’m an idiot.. You’re not ladebra. To make matters worse to be honest, I thought your video was Clay Aiken at first glance of the still pic. I love kd lang. My apologies.

          • They do kind of look alike 😉

            • looneylucy says:

              Hi Jeff. I think Clay had some kinda help i.e, botox or either gained weight from his American Idol days. Looks different now. Anyway, lol.

              Merry Christmas to you and Master Mel. It’s 9 degrees here, just a little NE of you! Stay snug.

              • To you too 😀 It’s a little warmer than 9, maybe 10 or 11. Cold for no good reason. I wish it would snow, or warm up.

                I’m sure you’re right.. I haven’t seen him since he was on Trump’s show and he always looked as if he’d been beaten..

        • looneylucy says:

          My favorite….

  41. AZGirl says:

    Thank you NMD and everyone else for the blog today. Great job. I swear the editing is just driving me crazy. Yolanda’s closet items could be sold and feed a small country. I would be so embarrassed to have so many Chanel bags.
    All this stupid stuff being filmed. Brandi posting signs for Chica and the phone number is blacked out. Why don’t the producers just have a scene where she tells everyone that she has been posting signs? Hearts on the name card? David asking Joyce to toast in Spanish. Kim is medicated her talking head about the “Tenors” was disturbing. Why is David Foster showing off all his Grammy Awards on the piano. Who does that?
    I don’t know I am just so over these people.

    Everyone traveling to see love ones I wish you safe travels and a Merry Christmas.

    @Boston: There is a time in your life where the “roll test” is going to be a daily event. 🙂

  42. To everyone here – to the bloggers, the posters and the lurkers – whatever holiday you celebrate and traditions you hold dear, always remember the reason for the season and may this year bring you and yours much laughter and love. We come here each day and are treated to presents in the form of blogs, recaps and sometimes interesting posts, so a big thanks to NMD for making it possible!
    To those who are traveling have a safe journey. To those invited somewhere to celebrate – do something nice for your hosts – like the dishes! To those who are hosting the festivities take more than a few moments to relax and enjoy being with those you have brought together to celebrate.

  43. Just Wondering In Jersey says:

    Merry Christmas to one and all.

  44. I returned from shopping today and everyone was very well behaved and I didn’t have to “read” anyone and didn’t have to take anyone to school!!! 🙂 I went to Walgreens to get stocking stuffers and I politely asked the guy/kid to double bag them and he said he would. Then he asked, “what would you have done if I said, “No.” I smiled and said, “I would have started crying.” He thought that was pretty funny….he would have thought yesterday was hilarious, lol!! So everything is wrapped and I am still waiting for 2 packages….
    I am waiting for it to cool down here, it has been very hot, so that I can bake my pies….doesn’t feel like Christmas…yet…
    I wish you all a Merry, Merry, Christmas!!!!! Thank you all for being here!!!! I have so much fun with all of youse!!!

    • jeang says:

      I know its been hot enough here for the a/c but tonight is supposed to chill down to around 40-50. Nice!!

    • Powell says:

      PrincessP I went to CVS, Ross and the liquor store. Yes I bought myself 2 bottles of wine. 🙂 The stores weren’t bad at all. When I was in CVS there was a line. 6/7 people. A few people behind me we , “come on. Let’s move the line.”. I didn’t say anything. But I was like “damn. These people don’t know long lines. And what do they expect on Christmas eve.”
      You know I’m jealous of you hot weather. Sighhhhh. My mom just baked some sweet potato pies. Oh they smell good. 🙂 I hope you get your packages. Happy baking. And I hope your little Princess and Prince get some good stockings. They’ve been quite nice this yr. 🙂

  45. klmh says:

    Enjoyed today’s blog and Stars99,that was an aaaawesome (in Chumlee’s, Pawn Stars, voice) Xmas list.

    • Powell says:

      That’s my mom’s show. She loves Old Man. 🙂 I’m always yelling at the tv, “Don’t sell it to Rick.”. My mom says they are selling it. The want to go to the casino and gamble it away. 🙂

      • klmh says:

        Me too! I know this show is set up as well, but I love to know the history of the items brought in to the shop. Can’t imagine selling a family treasure for a few bucks to spend at the table.
        Now, about the ole man. I have now started calling one of my cats that name. Fits him to a tee. Sweet but crotchety…

      • looneylucy says:

        Hi Powell. That was one of our favorite shows too until I found out how phoney it is. I know someone in Vegas. They rebuild/restore antique/vintage cars as a hobby. On one of their cars they had put on Craig’s List, producers from Pawn Stars called them to ask if they’d like to appear on the show. They were told Pawn Stars had no intention of buying the car but would like to use it in a scene. My friend was to ask for an over inflated price to sell. Thankfully, they respectfully declined the offer to appear on the show. Made me sick and I haven’t watched an episode since hearing that.

        • Powell says:

          Merry Christmas Lucy. Ah that sucks. I didn’t think they did made up scenes. Oh well. That’s what these reality shows are. Nothing but made up scenes. I’ll still watch though because of the history lessons and the family is so funny.

    • Nancy says:

      Hi klmh,
      Merry Christmas to you and your husband. You are so missed
      around here.

      • klmh says:

        Oh, you are dear Nancy, but I brought a lot of controversy to this group. Didn’t agree with most. I don’t watch anyway, but enjoy reading all your comments along with the rest here.

        Do you know where Diva is? Hope she, her husband and PITA are ok. I just visit from time to time and haven’t seen her post in a while.

        Wishing all here a Merry Christmas and the best of health and happiness for 2014.

        Thanks to NMD and BB, along with others here that blog. Fun to read and not have to watch.

    • Hi, KMLH.. Nice to see you, hope you are enjoying your Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate 🙂

      • klmh says:

        Hi Jeff,

        Best for you and Mel for a happy healthy 2014.

        Always enjoy your comments. Just makes me smile. :-). Unfortunately I don’t have the knowledge of making those cute emoticons as Chismosa does.

        • I am glad that you smile 😀 As for the Emoji’s, That’s alright …. I can’t see them anyway. Not part of that club 😉

        • chismosa™ says:

          Hi klmh- please come back ! Make 2014 a new year back here with us!
          I will not be putting any emojis here for you. I’m sad not everyone can see them, yes I need a bit of emoji rehab but frankly I’m bored with the selections we’ve got so far.
          I think VV is the best at her usage.

          Have a wonderful holiday and new year and hope you come back soon (ya hear!)

  46. jeang says:

    Before I completely forget again, I am wishing you and all here a Merry Christmas and Happiest of New Years.

  47. LisaJ says:

    David Foster May be a musical genius, but he’s also a pompous, arrogant a-hole!!!

    Merry Christmas!!!

  48. Now I have read the blogs and I thank you NMD (for all year too!) And Stars, love, love, love your list. I myself might wish sumtin’ different for Juicy Joe….maybe a Kitchen assignment when he goes to The Big House. Imagine, he could teach a “How to Stuff Your Own Sausage” or “Pound Your Own Tomatoes Into Sauce” classes!!! 😉

  49. Powell says:

    It’s A Wonderful Life is on NBC and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is on NBC. 🙂

  50. iceNfire says:

    I have a new theory on why Carlton canceled at the very last minute … Bravo production told her to. Not claiming to know why but for some odd reason I’m sure of it

  51. looneylucy says:

    NMD, thank you for continuing the Lynnfam blog and to all the bloggers who blog on the blog! May you and all the rest of the family have a safe and joyous holiday. Thank you for giving me a respectful, safe and happy place to spend “me” time. I have a special love for you all!

    • chismosa™ says:

      Same to you Lucy and ditto thank you NMD! I feel I may have neglected to thank her but will when wishing happy christmas DAY

  52. Nancy says:

    Silent Night Jackie Evancho and the Canadian Tenors.

  53. Nancy says:

    Jackie Evancho and the Canadian Tenors. Silent Night.

  54. looneylucy says:

    Thank you, Nancy, Twas beautiful.

  55. Powell says:

    Good morning everyone. Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas!!! 🙂 😀 🙂

  56. Powell says:

    PrincessP did you get all your gifts delivered last night? UPS is backlogged.

  57. Merry Christmas everyone. It’s a little past 6 am here. The children and dh are still sleeping., so I am about to enjoy the quiet for little while.

  58. Powell says:

    Hmm. Brandi was officially off Twitter until after Christmas. We that lasted all of a few hrs cuz 50 minutes ago she tweeted Merry Christmas I think I just heard Santa Claus. She is addicted.

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