Annual Housewife Survey
Brandi Glanville’s Podcast #7 by Kit9
Starts by talking about negative reaction to her recent on show antics. Brandi says she’s always joking and happy and says she isn’t a “hater”, isn’t negative. Brandi says she can find the “pretty” in anyone. Claims she can look at anyone and find something positive….they have “nice hands, nice skin”. Says they pay her the “big bucks to be an asshole” on the show and that without moments like her kissing Carlton, they’d have no show. Art says people are too sensitive today, alluding to Brandi’s black comment. Brand says that her agent only reps comedians so Brandi likes to consider herself a comedian, too(she’s not racist, ya’ll, she’s just angling for an open mic spot at the Ha Ha Hut!).
All my GFs R beautiful women I lift them up- they me, range n age from19 to 60. Some rich some not but all stunning – #nojealousyhere
— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) December 28, 2013
First guest: Carlton. Brandi apologizes to Carlton for talking her into joining Twitter. Is Carlton ok with her being a witch being such a big deal(it is?)? Carlton says she’s very proud of her religion. Brandi says she’s a Christian and then says…”My god is a muppet that has an orange wig and a black cape”. Listened to this twice and still not sure wth she’s talking about. That religion is so personal? That she worshiped Animal? Make up your own explanation. Asked if she can cast spells, Carlton says spell casting is “harnessing nature’s power”. Admits that she dabbled in bad spell casting. Believes in karma and thinks it will get “the bitches”. Brandi says that we can see Carlton on the show with her family and see how happy they all are. Carlton laments that viewers can’t see Brandi with her kids on the show. Brandi whines agreement. Brandi says she has ‘other sides’ that don’t get shown on the show. Brandi says she drinks a lot on the show because the women on the show “annoy the fuck” out of her.
Talking about Palm Springs…says that in the desert she lost it because it was hot, she was bored, they were in outhouses(wtf?) with bugs, no air conditioning and no food in their rooms. Carlton echoes the point that they had no food. Brandi says she “felt pressure to make it happen”(drama, sexytime!?) and “nothing was happening. So, me and Carlton had a friendship kiss in the pool”. Of how the original makeout session happened, Carlton says Brandi was over for a BBQ and they kissed in the hottub which Carlton says her husband witnessed. Brandi says Carlton’s hubby has a great body. Brandi compliments Carlton’s body again and Carlton says it’s natural to appreciate beauty and acknowledges that she just called herself beautiful.Talks AGAIN about how she doesn’t trust women without many pretty gf’s-that they “scare the crap” out of her.
Now she gets into the black comment. Brandi says she was joking and bored. Brandi is angry about the harassment she’s received over the comment. Says she’s cried over it twice. Then opens up a whole other-as yet untapped source of whining and excuse making-pointing fingers at other people. Brandi says she hears Chelsea Handler say worse every night. Wonders if she should just stop being honest(polish up that cross, Brandi, it’s mountin’ time!). Whinily wonders if she should censor herself(omg, exercising self control? The thought!). Says she knows “in her heart” she is not a racist(her brain has no comment).
Says she jokes inappropriately with her friends all the time. Carlton says she said something that “could be taken wrong” by people waiting for her to slip up but that people need to move “the fuck on”. Brandi says “real friends” are different from tv HW friends. Carlton praises Brandi for taking responsibility for the comment and apologizing and not blaming the editing. Brandi says the producers can steer you to do things, but you can say no. Says they can’t shove a tag line down your throat as some HW have apparently tried to claim. Carlton then chimes in and says that this person won’t take responsibility for anything. Brandi says she’s tired of talking about ‘her’ now(her? Huh?). Ok, I thought they were talking generally but clearly they are talking about someone specifically. Who has complained that they were forced to repeat a tagline they didn’t want?
Back to Wicca. Art the D-bag Producer’s gf is a Wiccan. Carlton says there are millions of practicing Wiccans and pagans in the US and laments their people’s misunderstanding. Brandi doesn’t “discount anyone’s religion”. Carlton isn’t raising her kids Wiccan and will allow them to chose. Brandi wants to invent her own religion-“the non judgment religion”. What does Carlton do for exercise? Works out 3 times a week-cardio, light weights for one hour. Stresses diet. High protein diet. Eats well during the week and cheats on the weekend.
Brandi talks about having a job coming up in Florida and she can’t wait(might want to put that excitement on pause, Brandi. Hee hee. Sorry, but snickering like a mofo in retrospect).Brandi is critical of her Season 1 makeup and hair. Blames show for her wearing a weave that ruined her hair. Also blames the show for her acne. Brandi tells Carlton to prepare for the reunion. Says there will be lots of fighting and it’s not healthy but that it pays her “fucking bills”.
Next guest: Craig Gass, a comedian. His whole family is completely deaf. Brandi says they must think he’s hilarious(deaf joke, get it?). Craig says his family has a good sense of humor and make the best deaf jokes and people shouldn’t be so sensitive. Brandi, in a move that isn’t remotely surprising, makes it about her and brings up Twitter hate and the black comment and again says how she’s cried about it. Craig says he doesn’t think what she said was racist. Brandi again suggests she’s actually a comedian. Then continues to play Twitter hate victim and refers to herself as Hitler. Yes, she went there.
Again complains that others can say whatever they want, this time referencing Howard Stern. Craig then asks her why she doesn’t just say, “fuck you” to the haters…”fuck all of you”. Brandi says because she has books to sell(despite the fact she apparently took his advice). Craig tells story of how much he was bullied by other comedians when he first started. Brandi, now firmly embracing her newly minted martyr status, whines that her haters are unhappy unsuccessful losers. Brand talks about going on Stern and how she got in so much trouble from Bravo. Apparently she blabbed about everyone’s salaries. Woops.
Brandi says she doesn’t make new friends now that she’s famous. Is paranoid about users. Dated a guy who then went to TMZ and Radar Online and talked about her(who is this?). Says a tip off is when a guy she’s interested in says they are ok being filmed. Brandi says she is the one who does the breaking up in her relationships(just ask her ex fans).