Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” by BB
Carlton: She, her husband David, and her mother in law Gloria go to a store called Hustler so Carlton can get some vulgar outfits to model for David in their new sex room. Who takes their mother in law to a cheesy store, models the clothes in front of her and then gives her a lap dance? Carlton, that’s who. She seems to be trying for the shock factor with us viewers. I’m not shocked, just totally turned off. Poor Gloria. She’s stuck with Carlton as the wife of her son and the mom of her grandkids. Later there is a scene with her contractor discussing having a stage so Carlton and her nanny can dance for her husband. I’m assuming she wants her nanny to participate, she keeps alluding to it and groping her. Workplace sexual harassment anyone?
Yolanda: The anniversary lunch between Yolanda and David doesn’t seem very romantic. Maybe David couldn’t take time from his very busy and important schedule to have a romantic candlelit dinner, I dunno. He gave her a card and seemed nervous that Yolanda may not approve of what he has written. He’s good at writing music, but not lyrics. I kept expecting Yolanda to interrupt and correct him while he was reading it to her. Yolanda gives him a book of pictures of her that are for his eyes only. Yolanda is doing whatever it takes to keep her marriage exciting because, according to her, once it’s dead, it’s dead. It ain’t coming back. In her 20s, a psychic told her she wouldn’t meet her love until she was 42 years old (when she met David). I’m guessing Yolanda’s kids love hearing her say repeatedly that it’s David, and not their dad, who is the love of her life.
Lisa: Lisa and Ken are outside with their dogs. Lisa is cutting roses. She tells Ken she thinks that losing Chica has sent Brandi over the edge and she’s not happy with Lisa nagging her about her behavior all the time. Ken thinks Brandi needs a boyfriend. This seems to be the theme for Brandi this week, since she’s already said she feels like a third wheel when everyone else has a mate. Lisa will be hosting a dinner at Sur so everyone can get a fresh start, and tells Ken she’s invited Martin and Mohammed to make Joyce feel more comfortable since she knows both of them. The dinner will include the Dream Team (Lisa, Brandi and Yolanda), plus Ken, Mohammed and his fiancé Shiva, Martin, Joyce and Michael. No Kim, Kyle or Carlton.
Kim: Kim and her son Chad watch a video of Kingsley while he’s away at the trainers learning how to be a dog. Kim’s son tries to explain to Kim how Kingsley seems happy just being a dog and not her baby. Kim explains how she’s latched on to Kingsley since her kids are leaving and going their own way. We later seem Kim pursuing other activities by letting someone drive her around the track in a race car. Note that Kim was NOT behind the wheel. I guess they didn’t have enough insurance coverage to go that far.
Kyle: Kyle is doing a fundraiser fashion show for Children’s Hospital of LA. Her daughters will be walking the runway, as well as Joyce and Ivette (current Queen of the Universe) and Brandi and her friends Jennifer and Etirsa. Brandi doesn’t like it when Joyce launches into her Spanish (like she did when she meets Jen). Brandi and Joyce can’t find anything small enough to wear. As Kyle says, they need a cheeseburger with their dresses. They are having problems with the size zeroes and double zeroes. Kyle wears a size four so she’s considered a plus size model by Beverly Hills standards. I would hate to be under that kind of pressure to conform to other people’s standards of beauty.
Sur: The dinner at Sur turns out to be a back and forth “you’re stupid, no, you’re stupid” between Brandi and Joyce. Brandi starts it off by telling Joyce their two mutual acquaintances can’t stand Joyce and talk bad behind her back. Joyce calls Brandi a racist and a bully. Lisa and Yolanda try to shush her. Joyce will not be shushed. According to Joyce, the dream team (Lisa, Yolanda and Brandi) are used to getting their way and everyone has let them get away with it, but she’s not going to. The men try to do the man thing and gloss over everything. All the men except for Michael. I kind of like that Michael is taking up for Joyce. I don’t think Ken would let someone treat Lisa like Joyce has been treated without saying something. Yolanda does her “this is petty in the grand scheme of things” speech she does all the time. That’s getting old. You can tell Lisa is really over Brandi’s language and actions, but she’s not ready to totally call her on it – yet. We all know it’s coming because Brandi has already told us she and Lisa are no longer friends. From next week’s previews, looks like by the end of the dinner, Brandi will be playing the poor me victim card by having crying and leaving the dinner. You know, my husband cheated on me (what three or four years ago?), my dog got lost, I’m poor, I don’t have a man, Joyce and her husband are bullying me, you don’t know how sucky my life is, Bravo producers are making me act like this, yada, yada, yada.
Whoever is blogging Vanderpump Rules will have to cover Lisa’s dinner from their point of view because I will not be watching. No how. No way.
Happy Birthday MKValle and MelTheHound