Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “Catfight on the Catwalk” by BB
Sur Dinner Part Two: This scene is really a lot of repeat of what was said in last week’s episode. Michael tells Brandi he can’t believe she’s acting like that and she’s not even drunk. Brandi tells him to let her go get her husband to come in and talk to him, but wait she doesn’t have one so he needs to STFU. Joyce says something about Brandi’s not even drunk and she thought Brandi might have needed rehab; but she doesn’t. The way she’s acting is just Brandi. Brandi looks a little shocked that Joyce is firing with all cylinders and she has no response. Lisa’s TH is this: “Brandi doesn’t seem to be in a very good place right now and I think she’s kind of losing this battle. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think this is the right time to be sorting out their differences.”
Brandi starts with the tears and says she misses her puppy and she’s depressed. Lisa reaches out to Brandi and tells her “don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.” Brandi tells Joyce she just doesn’t get it. Ken and Lisa both try to calm Brandi down and placate her. Yolanda gets up and comes over to Brandi’s side of the table. Ken tells Brandi they just want to get everything back on an even keel.
Brandi gets up to leave and Lisa asks her not to end it like this. Yolanda says they will be back and walks off with Brandi. Joyce says to let her go if she wants to go home and be with her babies. Lisa tells Joyce Brandi’s having a really, really hard time. Yolanda walks Brandi to her car and explains to us in her talking head, that “Brandi’s about to implode and it’s not pretty, but it’s an escalation of a lot of emotions and it needs to explode in order to get better.” What this has to do with her obvious hatred and meanness towards Joyce I don’t understand.
Back at the table, Ken tries to explain Brandi’s behavior away by saying she hasn’t been the same since she lost her puppy. Joyce tells Ken she understands the puppy situation, but it was in Palm Springs before Brandi lost the puppy that Brandi started bullying her. When Yolanda returns to the table, Lisa asks her why she let Brandi go. Yolanda tells them that Brandi will be fine but is in overload and that she put her best foot forward. Michael scoffs at the “best foot forward” remark. He might have a comment about that, but that’s ok, she put a foot forward. I think Michael is showing remarkable restraint where Brandi is concerned.
Yolanda tells Joyce what a good person Brandi is. Joyce says she would like to know that person. Joyce tells Yolanda that if Brandi had called her the wrong name over and over, the same name Joyce got bullied about in school, she probably wouldn’t have the relationship she has with Brandi. Yolanda can see Joyce’s point, but she can’t control what comes out of Brandi’s mouth even if she doesn’t agree with it and she doesn’t condone it. Yolanda plans on speaking to Brandi about it in the future. Ken tells Michael that if the group of people sitting at the table all like Brandi, then there must be something good there. Michael and Joyce say they will take his words under advisement, but Michael tells them someone needs to give Brandi some advice about her behavior. Yolanda tells Michael that Brandi is authentic. Michael tells Yolanda all he has seen so far is a genuinely authentic mean person. In his talking head, he thinks they all know Brandi is a train wreck and that the train is going to derail again. Joyce says if God could forgive humanity for what they did to His Son, then who is she not to forgive Brandi for being a stupid little bitch? If Brandi sincerely apologizes, then Joyce can go forward from there.
The Return of Kingsley: Poor Kingsley. He needs a pack leader and he’s stuck with Kim. Let’s just say I think KIM needs more training if she wants to have a well- behaved dog. Kingsley seems to be doing his part. If Kim can’t get the commands straight, how the heck is Kingsley supposed to follow?
Carlton and her kids: Carlton, her two girls and the hot nanny clean out the playhouse/dollhouse in the back yard. How fun was that scene? Later we see Carlton getting a tattoo on the back of her neck. It’s a pentagram with her children’s names on it. Sorry, people, I cannot relate to Carlton – at all. I just can’t.
Pro golfers they will never be: Kyle and Joyce go for a golf lesson together. They discuss the dinner at Sur. Joyce tells Kyle she was willing to start with a clean slate but Brandi started out the night by saying two of her friends don’t speak highly of her and it just went downhill from there.
Meanwhile Yolanda is over at Brandi’s timidly telling her she’s doing things in a way that’s “not charming.” Brandi explains it away by saying she has a bad temper. Yolanda tells Brandi she loses credibility with her when she talks like that. Brandi says she’s not going to change who she is. Yolanda tells her she needs to change the way she communicate; that the previous night she was really rough. Brandi says she’s not herself. She misses her dog. She misses her kids. She has issues with her ex. Brandi is talking out of both sides of her mouth in this scene. First she says that’s the way she is and she’s not going to change. Next she says she’s not herself right now. So which is it? (Hint: The first one.) Yolanda tells Brandi she needs to think beyond the phrases Eff You, Go Eff Yourself, Eff Off. It’s not acceptable and she can’t be doing that. Nice try, Yolanda, but what Brandi needs from her friends is a good kick in the ass, not a softball pitch.
Back at the golf course, Joyce tells Kyle Brandi has three steps. No. 1, she plans a vicious attack and throws it out there. No. 2, she goes on the “F” word track. No. 3, she cries and becomes a victim. Joyce has Brandi’s number. Joyce doesn’t like to see girls cry, but she doesn’t feel sorry for Brandi. Maybe Brandi would have a husband if she were a more pleasant girl. Joyce has news for Brandi. No guy is going to want to be around such negative energy and negative drama. A guy doesn’t want to come home to that negative stuff. The next time Joyce sees Brandi, she will be nonexistent to her. She will cordially say hello IF Brandi says hello. If not, Brandi does not exist in her world.
Pump Decorating: These are the scenes I enjoy and wish there were more of. Lisa and Ken go to Big Daddy’s Antiques to pick out décor and furniture for their new restaurant Pump. Lisa likes to find incredible pieces as she goes along. She doesn’t like to wait until the place is finished and then furnish it. They look at tables, lighting, etc. Ken and Lisa don’t agree on some concrete things, but I think Lisa wins.
While they are there, Lisa brings up the dinner. She tells Ken she was so upset that night and she should have told Brandi to stop but she also didn’t like that Joyce was calling Brandi racist when she’s clearly not. Lisa felt like she had to stay in the middle and not attack Brandi. She asks Ken if he agrees with her. Ken thinks Lisa did the right thing. Lisa tells Ken she’s going to call Joyce and have a one on one because she sees her frustration and she doesn’t dislike her. Ken didn’t think it would have been as bad if it had been just Brandi and Joyce (Oh yes it would have). He doesn’t think Michael should have joined in. Lisa doesn’t agree with Ken. She thought Michael was quite admirable and he had to defend his wife. Ken says not against another woman. Lisa says of course he does. Ken says Joyce can look after herself. Lisa is calling bullshit on that. If someone was attacking Lisa, Ken would defend her. Lisa sees that Ken is looking at it as Brandi being on her own and Joyce has Michael and he should have kept out of it. Lisa doesn’t think life works that way.
Charity Catwalk: 100% of the ticket sales from the fashion show go to Children’s Hospital of LA and 20% of anything sold from the Kyle’s store also goes to the charity. Brandi, Etirsa and Adrienne are on their way to the charity event. Brandi tells her friends that Joyce has it out for her by calling her a racist and a bully. When Brandi tells them what she said, Etirsa rolls her eyes and tells Brandi her “black person” remark was kind of dumb to say around people she doesn’t know.
There is a step and repeat in front of Kyle’s store where photogs are taking pictures before the fashion show. Joyce shows up with some of her friends. Brandi actually does something smart and decides not to engage Joyce. Joyce does what she says she was going to do and totally ignores Brandi. Kyle asks Etirsa, who teaches modeling, to show her two daughters and their friend how to walk the runway. Kyle’s 13 year old daughter is shy and doesn’t want to do the fashion show, but Kyle is strongly encouraging it because it will make her more confident.
Jamie Lee Curtis is there with other hospital officials representing the charity. She and Kyle were in the movie Halloween when Kyle was 7 and Jamie was 19. Kyle remembers Jamie being very kind to her. We see others showing up to the fashion show like Lisa (I like to take selfies and post them on twitter) Rhinna and Christina Millian. Mauricio and his parents, Ken and Lisa, and Carlton are also there. Before the show, Jamie announces that Kyle and Mauricio have become members of the charity’s First Family Donations, which means they have donated $100,000. Kyle says Mauricio had a condition as a baby where he spent a lot of time in the hospital. The runway show goes off without a hitch. Both Joyce and Brandi looked great (except Brandi’s hair –ugh). Again Carlton is salivating over Brandi. Yuck.
Question: How could Halloween and Escape from Witch Mountain be two of Carlton’s most favorite movies in the whole wide world, but yet she didn’t know Kyle and Kim were in those movies, especially Kim? I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I usually remember the main stars in my most favorite movies in the whole wide world. Neither Kim nor Kyle have changed their names. They’ve always been Richards. Just saying.
Lisa and Joyce One-On-One: Joyce shows up at Lisa’s house bearing a gift. As Joyce is standing at the door admiring one of Lisa’s dogs, Lisa is whispering to the dog to bite Joyce’s ankles. They have tea and Lisa starts the conversation by saying she can’t apologize to Joyce for what happened at the dinner the other night and that she tried to stop it, but she can apologize and she hated it and there are so many reasons they didn’t want it to end up like that. Either I misheard that or that’s what she said and I’m not sure if that was an apology or not. Joyce says she understands Lisa is close with Brandi, but that she feels like Brandi has been attacking her all along and the others just make excuses for her. Lisa uses her acting skills and gives Joyce a puzzled look. Then Lisa says she’s not making excuses for Brandi, but she is her friend. Joyce says OK. Lisa says one of the things she can says is Brandi has been going through a really tough time. Could someone please tell what this tough time is that Brandi is going through other than her dog being missing? She’s a full time housewife and had a best-selling book and, until the last six months or so, was everyone’s darling. So I wish they would spill the beans about Brandi’s tough times because I just don’t get the correlation between her supposedly tough times and her behavior.
Back to Joyce and Lisa. Joyce tells Lisa that Brandi being in a bad place is just an excuse. Lisa tells Joyce Brandi has a lot of great friends. They even have mutual friends. Joyce tells Lisa they actually do not have mutual friends. They have mutual acquaintances. One of the friends Brandi mentioned that did not speak highly of Joyce was Cristal. Joyce talked to Cristal and Cristal told her she has only seen Brandi twice in her life and has never spoken to her and how dare Brandi be putting words in her mouth. In her talking head, Lisa sees Joyce as a formidable opponent (why do these women refer to others as “opponents”?) But she thinks Joyce is a good girl and she just got off to a bad start with her. Lisa thinks Joyce needs to give Brandi a little bit of a break. Lisa tells Joyce she constantly chastises Brandi. Joyce doesn’t know what chastise means. Lisa says “telling her off” which Joyce still doesn’t get. So Lisa says reprimand. Joyce still doesn’t quite understand what Lisa means. Lisa says “For God’s sake!”
Next week – ugh. Carlton, her nanny and Brandi drinking and pole dancing. Kim getting verklempt about her daughter graduating. Kim accusing Lisa of not coming to her daughter’s graduation (party?) by saying she was in one place, but Kim’s hairdresser seeing her someplace else, and Joyce and Brandi getting into it once again. Can’t wait.