Brandi Glanville’s Podcast 9 by Kit9
Talk New Year’s resolutions with butt kisser Art. Probably the hardest year for Brandi in a decade, she says. Lots of highs and lots of lows. She’s really looking forward to this year(may 2014 be a tampon free year, woot woot!). Again tells us she’s very self aware. Brandi’s New Year’s resolution? What would a woman whose 2013 involved incidents of public intoxication that were nothing short of completely humiliating, hope for in the New Year? What would Brandi, she the uber self aware deep thinker and writer of poetry hope to change about herself in 2014? A: Her nails. She resolves to get rid of her stripper nails in favor of a more subdued look. She also says us she hates her hands. And, her nail beds.They’re too small, like a child’s(glad she’s not wasting her resolution on something useful like overcoming her body dysmorphia). What’s Art’s New Years resolution you ask? He says he really wants to get back to….his music. His music. Snort! Oh, I
shouldn’t be so negative…we should all hang onto our dream no matter how remote, right? Right? Rofl!..oh, come on, we’re all thinking it…http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5003650990868931&pid=15.1
Brandi says you have to do what you love. Says she wants to write a rap song. She’s not joking. She loves Salt n Pepa. Art claims they have some big stars who want to come on the show. Brandi asks if they want to come on HER(see what she did there?). Seth Rogen and Carlos Mencia will be on soon. And, the chick from the 80’s video Cherry Pie will be on to talk about all the men she slept with as an 80’s plaything. Brandi says she was obsessed with her. Brandi says that 80’s hair band rock was AMAZING. As if I needed another reason to dislike Brandi(rant on: the hair bands tortured me in the 80’s. No joke! If this drek was on at a party or friend’s house I would try to shame them into turning the channel. lol! Hated their music, asinine lyrics, idiotic outfits and, of course, their brain numbingly stupid videos. And no video exemplified all that was soulless and wrong with the hair bands more than Cherry Pie. Rant off and apologies to all Warrant fans
:-))Back to Brandi…just the thought of the Cherry Pie chick and Brandi exchanging stories of collecting STD’s, makes me want to preemptively stab myself in the ears.
Fabio is also coming on. And, here’s an interesting tidbit….apparently, Brandi was friends with P diddy(or whatever his name is now). She went to his parties at the height of his fame and he came to her taco nights. Talks about recording audio for her new book that comes out in Feb. It’s a break up book. Is having a book contest where the lucky winner gets to spend a full day with Brandi!(tip to potential contest winner–start working out now; Brandi isn’t going to carry herself to the car). Brandi thinks that the podcast gives a better idea of who she really is as a person. Brandi talks about how she likes to smile at people, strangers, in public. Says it’s infectious and it goes a long way to make people happy and is a nice thing for people to do(aha! That was Joyce’s mistake! She introduced herself).
Guest: Kim Richards. Tells Kim to move closer to the mic. and that she should pretend it’s “something else”. Thankfully, this is the one and only smutty comment during the interview. Start off talking about how both Kim and Brandi need to find men. Brandi says that she and Kim add comic relief to the show. Kim says that’s probably why they can’t find men. Kim wants a family oriented man who doesn’t have to be someone who doesn’t drink. Wants someone who likes to be outside, barbecue. Brandi talks about their appearance on Arsenio. Kim regrets her pole dance. Brandi asks Kim if anyone who was on the show should still be. Kim says she misses some people but that producers make the decisions and she goes with it. Brandi says that one of the new girls makes her miss Adrienne and Taylor. A lot. That this person is just trying to bring her down and has no other storyline(gee, if we only knew who this mystery ‘person’ was. Real head scratcher). Kim says this
season is so much ‘ickiness’, not a balance of drama and fun. Kim says that she and Brandi had rough starts on the show. Brandi says she has a bad temper and Kim replies, “you’re kidding?”. Kim talks about Game Night and says she was on new meds from the Dr. after coming off a weekend long anxiety attack. Brandi is jealous that Yolanda was welcomed with open arms.
Kim says that neither her or Brandi think before speaking. Brandi teases her about praying next to the garbage can. Kim explains that as an alcoholic she prays when she needs to and just stops what she’s doing without care where she is at the time. Kim mentions Lisa laughing at her and her comment about how she needed not to judge Kim. Brandi asks if Kim thinks Lisa does judge her and she says “yes, she always has” and that it’s unfortunate. Kim says she doesn’t want to make this(interview)about Lisa. But, Brandi tells her she’s noticed for a long time that Lisa is very dismissive of her. Kim says Lisa would show concern and support for her only when cameras were around and that when she was drinking it would confuse her. Kim tells a story about how Lisa actually complimented her away from the cameras. And, it made Kim feel really good and she thought at the time, for the first time, it was sincere. Brandi says that Lisa could have been sincere in that
moment and Kim says that but that is the only moment in 4 yrs. So, Kim told her sister Kathy about it and Kathy started being nice to Lisa as a result. But, then when Kyle and Lisa started having problems, Lisa started calling Kathy(holy shit!). Kim said her reaction was, “hey, not cool, girl…. she’s having problems with Kyle, she’s not friends with me and now you’re calling my sister Kathy?”
Brandi asks if Kathy ever wanted to be on the show and Kim says not really and she’s really busy with other things. They talk about beauty and exercise routines. Kim does pilates. Brandi says she spends a lot of money trying to keep up with the everyone else on the show and trying to be fabulous(hope someone quotes this next time she whines about being the poor single mother). Brandi says she doesn’t pay attention to the back of her hair cause she can’t see it(mystery solved!). Talk about e cigs. Kim said smoking was the one vice she enjoyed after she stopped drinking. Says smoking gives her something to do when everyone else is drinking. Kim doesn’t think you have to have a vice. Brandi thinks you do. Apparently all the women stole Kim’s e-cigs when they were in Puerto Rico. Brandi has told her boys that smokers die sooner and if they do drugs they’ll go into a coma.
Brandi is not a Kingsley fan. He scares her. Brandi’s dog is a biter and Brandi wonders if it would be animal cruelty to file his teeth down. Kim’s youngest, Kimberly, is in college now. Brandi says she doesn’t know if she could handle having pretty daughters out there running around like Kim does. She’s happy she has boys. Kim says her relationship with her kids is great now. Kim hasn’t picked up a drink in two years. Brandi says it makes her really mad when people question if Kim is sober. Kim used to worry that people would think she’s still drinking if she has an off day or is sick or something. Brandi takes it upon herself to say “hear that, haters, she doesn’t care what you think!” But, Kim corrects her and says she does care but that’s it not a daily concern for her anymore. She’s happy with her choices and she loves her life today and hope she can be an inspiration.
They seem to have a real friendship, as odd as that sounds. And definitely closer than Brandi and Kyle. Brandi said that she’s called Kim for heart to hearts and that her family loves Kim. Also, I have to say that Kim was completely coherent. No grasping for words or real struggling to articulate a thought. That nuttty dingbatty thing is either just one side of her that Bravo plays up or maybe she’s mugging for the cameras to be entertaining. Or her doc had her on the wrong meds when she filmed her TH’s? Maybe a combo of all three?
Vanderpump Rules – S3Ep10
“SUR of the Border” by HydrangeaHussy
This week the kids are off to Cabo for Stassi’s 25th birthday. I don’t remember what I did for my 25th birthday, but I do know it was within my hometown. Stassi tells us that she makes a huge deal out of her birthday. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. She doesn’t know why Jax is coming, since they aren’t in a good place. I don’t know why he would want to spend time with someone who is so mean to him. I’m also not sure why Scheana is going when she’s had nothing but problems with most of the group. There’s the obligatory bikini shopping scene.
Peter & Lisa are at a restaurant supply store. She is always having things stolen from restaurant tables. They stop for coffee afterward. Lisa questions why Peter is going to Cabo when he’s older & more mature than the others. She believes that it’s to get drunk & meet women. Peter hopes that the trip will alleviate some of the drama between Scheana & the others.
There is drama at the airport – Stassi’s friends don’t want to wait for Scheana. Stassi takes the opportunity to tell everyone to have a good time & leave the drama at home. No way will this group be able to do that. I see a repeat of Scary Island in their future.
Stassi seems impressed by the bar in the airport. Scheana already has an attitude. She rides with the guys to the hotel, rather than the girls. I don’t blame her, until she makes inappropriate gang-bang comments in front of her boyfriend. The girls take the opportunity to talk badly about her. Stassi, who said that she gets along with Scheana, is the most vocal. The group is greeted by margaritas at the hotel. Lisa has also upgraded the girls’ room. We learn that the girls, except for Scheana, are staying together. Why are the guys even there? Scheana & Shay have their own room – good call.
Everyone is getting ready to go out. OMG! The guys don’t have a hairdryer! Jax is freaking out. Scheana tells us that she prefers to hang out with the guys. With that group of girls, I might rather as well. Jax goes down to the girls’ room & proceeds to tell them all about Scheana. Jax is such a sh*t-stirrer! He’s like a 12-year-old girl. He lets us know that he only tells Stassi because he hopes to win points with her. Now Stassi is all fired up & gets onto Jax for not sticking up for her. Jax feels like giving her the information was enough. I think he needs to stay out of it. Stassi’s goal is now to make Scheana feel like sh*t.
The group is out at a club. Couldn’t they have done that in LA? Kristina says that she doesn’t understand how this group can drink so much. The mean girls are antagonizing Stassi & trying to get her to do something to Scheana. Other Tom gives Scheana a shot & Katie tells him that he isn’t allowed to buy drinks for Scheana. Kristen, acting as Stassi’s attack dog, attempts to kick Scheana out of their table. Jax is looking for trouble by flirting with girls. Did he really compare himself to Ross from Friends? I don’t think so.
The mean girls are outside & are joined by Jax & Other Tom. Katie immediately jumps Other Tom again for giving Scheana a drink. She tells Other Tom that he’s trying to humiliate her. Stassi yells at Jax for being disrespectful to her. Scheana leaves, probably a good idea. Katie is being a drunk b*tch & Other Tom is calling her out on it. They end up in a screaming match & Other Tom dumps his drink on Katie. The girls rush to her aid & the guys follow Other Tom. He admits that he made a mistake, but says that he just snapped. Katie says that he’ll have to get on his knees & beg forgiveness. Throwing a drink on your girlfriend isn’t a good idea – but she was getting out of control very quickly. I can understand that he would snap.
Lisa has made a roast chicken for dinner with her partners. You can tell how much she enjoys entertaining. She makes a point that creating the perfect ambiance is sexy. The conversation turns to the Cabo trip. Lisa reminds us that Ken was wild when she met him. They are so cute! You can tell that they truly love each other & enjoy each other’s company.
Back in Cabo, the girls are doing shots & going to the beach. Katie doesn’t want to go because she’s so upset. I think that she’s just really drunk. Katie says that she has too much respect to let a man treat her the way that Other Tom did. They make it to the beach & it’s time for the traditional Stassi’s birthday skinny dip. Stassi is complaining about being dirty & cold – um, she was the one who wanted to get on the beach naked.
In the morning, Jax thinks that dumping a beer on Katie is worse than cheating. He has such great priorities. Everyone convenes on the beach for water-sports. Other Tom wants to talk to Katie, but she gets immediately defensive. He tells her that he was upset because she spent most of the night crying for no reason. Katie says that her reason is that Other Tom gave Scheana a shot. Really? That was so upsetting that you cried & yelled for most the night? Katie has got to learn that she can’t let other people’s actions affect her so much. Katie doesn’t want to her his explanation – she wants an apology. When he does apologize, it isn’t good enough.
They take a boat to an island & spend time climbing on the rocks. They paddle board. Scheana wants to talk to Kristen, but isn’t sure if it’s a good idea. I’m going with not a good idea. The girls are in the water & tops come off again. They go to a beach restaurant for lunch. The guys volunteer Peter to judge a wet t-shirt contest. These girls are gross. It quickly turns into a lap dance contest. Stassi tells us about the hierarchy of skanks. She doesn’t like skanks.
It’s time for Stassi’s birthday dinner. She pulls Katie aside to tell her to behave at dinner. She doesn’t want drama. Katie says that she’s ok, but that they will have to talk about it later. Stassi doesn’t understand why Katie appears ok now. Wasn’t she the one that told them to be nice for her birthday? Katie agrees to let it go. Stassi just confuses me – she wants no drama, but she doesn’t think Katie should be nice to Other Tom. At dinner, Jax gets Stassi some really cute shorts. Scheana brings up the night before & Other Tom launches into an explanation. Wait – weren’t they supposed to let it go & not talk about it at dinner? Now everyone has an opinion & Katie is pouting. Katie & Other Tom get into a fight. He tells her that she’s acting like a 7th grader. Perfect! Katie quickly devolves into a crying mess & Stassi is pissed. Katie wants to leave because she isn’t happy. Stassi’s birthday dinner has become all about Katie.
Vanderpump Rules S2Ep11
“The Ultimatum” – by HydrangeaHussy
Stassi is annoyed (go figure) because Katie started a fight with Other Tom at her birthday dinner. I can’t really blame Stassi because it was neither the time nor place for Katie’s drama. Kristen attempts to reason with Katie but Katie continues over-reacting. Stassi confronts her for being selfish. I have to agree with Stassi on this one – Katie was selfish & made the whole dinner about her. I’m way over Katie’s victim routine. Other Tom attempts to talk to Katie, but she doesn’t want to hear it. He apologizes again, but she says that he needs to change. I think that both of them have some changing to do. It wasn’t all Katie’s fault, but Other Tom takes the blame.
Ariana is working at Sur while everyone else is in Cabo. Lisa appreciates her work ethic. Everyone agrees that it’s a nice break to have everyone gone. It must be nice not to have the constant drama.
The girls rally around Stassi, determined that her birthday won’t be ruined. They go night swimming at the hotel. The guys are at the bar. Jax decides to leave the guys to check on Stassi. She tells him that he’s good at pretending that she is a priority. He thought she was flirting, but she wasn’t. She can’t be friends with a liar, reminding him that he brought up Tom & Ariana then denied it. He again denies saying that. He says that he can’t throw his friend under the bus. Jax is in a tough position here – he can be a good friend to Tom or a good friend to Kristen. He finally acknowledges that he told Stassi about Tom & Ariana while they were dating.
Stassi tells the girls that Jax admitted what Tom & Ariana did. Kristen doesn’t want to believe it. Stassi reminds her that this isn’t the first time he’s lied & cheated. It’s hard to leave a 5 year relationship, but he’s done this twice now. Kristen needs to cut & run. She proceeds to start drinking heavily.
The next morning, the group is planning a booze cruise. The guys want everyone to have a good time. Scheana comes by their room. She says that the girls were having a good time until Jax said something to Stassi. Scheana wont’ let it go. She blurts out that Jax told Stassi that something happened with Tom & Ariana. Scheana has no problem throwing Jax under the bus b/c he did the same thing to her. Jax refuses to get involved, though he’s been involved from the beginning.
Kristen asks Jax to come talk to her. Jax says that he told Stassi that he ‘heard’ things happened. She asks him to tell her what happened but he just walks away saying that Cabo isn’t the place to do this. Umm, he’s the one that brought it up. Stassi says that Tom admitted to Jax. Jax says his final answer is that something may have been taken out of context. Tom says that he didn’t do anything & that he doesn’t deserve this. Kristen doesn’t believe him. Tom says that there is nothing he can do except tell the truth. Stassi jumps into it, saying that Tom will never admit the truth. This is the problem when friends get involved in relationships – everything spirals out of control.
The girls are in the pool when Kristen walks up. She’s pissed that the girls didn’t follow her. Kristen can’t be friends with Jax or work with Ariana. She decides to call Lisa, which the girls try to talk her out of. Kristen tells Lisa that some things happened on the trip. Lisa tells her to stop & enjoy Stassi’s birthday. Kristen tells Lisa that she can’t work at Sur if Ariana is there. She gives Lisa an ultimatum – either Kristen or Ariana. Lisa agrees that they will talk when Kristen returns. She tells the girls that she is leaving Tom & moving out.
Time for the booze cruise! It’s too rough to take the boat out, but they agree to party at the dock. Kristen’s plan is to get drunk & ignore Tom. Everything is going great until Jax shows up with a bunch of girls. How disrespectful! He’s done with Stassi, but there’s no reason to bring a bunch of uninvited girls to his ex-girlfriend’s birthday. Kristen points out that it’s a private boat ride & that he had no right to invite others. Jax & the girls leave.
Lisa discusses the ultimatum with Guillermo. He says that he would rather have Ariana because she’s done a good job. He reminds Lisa that they should keep their personal business outside of the restaurant. She calls Ariana over. Ariana says that she enjoys working at Sur. Lisa gives her the option of going back to Villa Blanca if it’s uncomfortable for her, but Ariana doesn’t want to. Lisa tells her to stay & to just stand up for herself. The ball is now in Kristen’s court – she better be willing to make good on her ultimatum.
The group is at a bar when Jax arrives with more girls. He’s just looking for attention. If he was there for Stassi, he wouldn’t keep showing up with other girls. Stassi tells him to leave & that he isn’t welcome. He seems to think that being single gives him the excuse to do whatever he wants. Scheana points out that Jax just wants a reaction from Stassi. They decide that Jax is the common denominator in all of the problems. Stassi & Scheana make up, yet again.
It’s the morning. Stassi is looking for Kristen, who is found in Tom’s bed. Of course the girls are livid. Kristen doesn’t want to hear them talk to her. The girls are done listening to Kristen complain about Tom. Kristen admits that she feels weak, but she still loves Tom. Tom doesn’t understand why the girls are upset. Stassi tells Kristen that their relationship is her business because Kristen brings her into it. Stassi says that she no longer respects Kristen. I understand that it’s scary for Kristen to think about moving on, but she has to have some self-respect!
Happy Birthday LillyBee