Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “Tough Break” by BB
I’m going to admit it. I’m tired of watching this show. I keep hoping the next episode is going to be better and I keep getting disappointed.
Oh, goodie! We get to see Carlton, her two friends (one of whom has the most annoying squeaky voice ever) and her naughty nanny exchanging more dirty talk and interviewing pole dancers and sexy party posers for some upcoming pool party. The parties are uninhibited and they don’t skimp on anything. I don’t know about you guys, but I never greet any of my girlfriends with a full on mouth kiss. Never. Betty Boop doesn’t want to see the auditioning girls get “nakey.” The last pole dancer has Carlton actually leering and drooling like a dirty old man at a strip bar. At this point, I’m about to hurl.
Brandi has a new dog named Buddy. She doesn’t like him. He’s not Chica. Note to Brandi. Boy dogs lift their legs when they pee. I wish Lisa would take Buddy home with her or I wish I could take him home with me. Brandi is going to a book signing in Sacramento where her family lives. I guess now we know why Brandi’s dad is upset with her and it has nothing to do with her Oscar dress. In her book she said her dad was a drug dealer, but he was actually a pot grower and distributor. Lisa seems to think there’s a difference. Brandi doesn’t. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I side with Brandi. If the pot growers hadn’t grown it, there would have been nothing for the dealers to sell. Brandi said her father was a hippy when she was growing up, but has moved on to a more conservative place. Lisa thinks her dad must be proud of her, but Brandi doesn’t think so.
Brandi has decided to take Yolanda with her because she thinks her family would be intimidated by Lisa with her diamonds and the darlings. This is the beginning of the Lisa take down. What used to be loving concern by Lisa is suddenly being seen by Brandi as trying to control her. Brandi tells Lisa she’s a grown woman, then starts crying like a little baby about losing her dog, her kids (what about them?), her dad, blah, blah, blah. I need some cheese with that whine. Lisa is still feeling sorry for poor Brandi and says she seems like a broken little bird. I’ll bet Lisa feels a little foolish right about now.
According to Brandi, her family had money problems and she had a rough childhood. They arrive at the hotel and find out their suite was once occupied by The Governator, aka Ahnold! They jump off the bed and Brandi says where Arnold goes a black light needs to follow. Yolanda is nervous because Brandi seems so nervous. Brandi calls her house, her dad answers, Brandi wishes him a happy birthday and he immediately hands the phone to her mom. Her mom tells her that her dad says if Brandi brings up certain things, it’s going to be all over. It’s not gonna be nice. Her mom wishes her luck.
Joyce and her husband go to the gun club for some target practice. She wants to be ready in case she needs to protect herself because of an incident of two guys coming up her driveway with guns. Their dog scared them away. She decides to go to a self-defense class and invite all the women.
Back to Brand’s book signing. Her mom, dad, brother and sister and nieces are there. Yolanda’s mission seems to be to act as mediator between Brandi and her dad. Brandi gets introduced and wishes her dad a happy birthday. Brandi offers to take questions and tells the story of her parents taking in a friend’s son who came out and got kicked out of his house. One of the audience members says they are definitely Team Brandi. Brandi asks her brother to take her nieces out of the room because she will be reading from her book. Meantime, Yolanda is whispering words of encouragement to Brandi’s dad, telling him she’s a good girl and he should be proud.
It was interesting to see Kyle and her family having Shabbat dinner. She talks about being Jewish and how she converted after dating Mauricio for four months. They discuss having a low key Bat Mitzvah for Sophia at the house instead of having an over the top extravaganza like some of their friends.
It’s not until later at dinner with the family that Brandi starts the pot talk and her dad gets uncomfortable and would like for the cameras to go away. Her brother doesn’t look that happy with Brandi’s topic of conversation either. They all go back to the hotel suite and Brandi and her dad have a little moment. He tells her they will go forward and that her outfit is pretty that night.
If someone walked into your house and pointed a gun at you, then turned around and left, would you go running after them? Yolanda would and apparently did. Luckily she didn’t catch up with the guy. I don’t know if she was brave or stupid. All the women actually showed up for something! The self-defense class. Yolanda almost chokes the instructor before she realizes that she’s supposed to stop when he taps her arm. To her, tap, tap, means more, more. Carlton looks tough, but she dances around the ring like a little girl. It would be frightening to meet her in a dark alley. Lisa gets in a good right hook after she distracts the instructor with her shimmy dance.
Kim and Kyle have a go at each other. I think Kim enjoys taking Kyle down, but Kyle ends up on top. Brandi’s all gangsta until she hurts her hand and quits. According to Brandi, she broke it. As Yolanda says, at least they all left happy this time. Did you notice that Lisa wasn’t offended when Kyle said she has never gone to the market? It probably pisses them off when Lisa doesn’t take their bait.
The rest of the episode seems mostly to be about setting up the scenario for the Lisa take-down to come. Brandi and Kyle think Lisa is being bossy when she tells Brandi she should go make sure her hand isn’t broken. I dunno, sounds like a good idea to me. Kyle seems to take pleasure in handing Brandi a nice card for no reason other than she’s had such a tough month. This story line is so transparent. But of course, we’ll all hear that Lisa has done things we don’t know about or we haven’t seen. Sorry, but I can only go by what I see. If the Bravo producers or the housewives themselves don’t want to tell me the whole story, that’s on them, not me. I’m not going to try to guess or speculate. For some, it’s fun and I like to see what people dream up and read their perspectives. To me, it’s not worth the effort.