Vanderpump Rules – S2Ep14
“I Lied” – by HydrangeaHussy
We’ve made it to the end of the season! We begin with Stassi & Katie at an “urban sweat lodge.” They’re trying to get skinny for the next day’s photo shoot. Stassi comments that her life has been much more calm without Kristen in it. They proceed to wrap up in aluminum foil suits & sweat out their
Kristen & Tom are still together. He tells Kristen that he read texts on Jax’s phone. She denies texting him. She’s pretty convincing.
It’s time for the Sur photo shoot. The staff is getting primped. Stassi has been receiving texts from Jax. He wants to get back together. As Stassi said, kind of pathetic. Why would anyone want to be with her after the way that she’s treated him? Jax arrives & it’s kind of awkward. Lisa arrives & lets us know that Kristen is excluded. She hopes that things will go more smoothly without Kristen. Sleeping with Jax aside, Kristen has been causing drama at Sur all season, so I can’t blame Lisa for keeping her away.
The first shot is set up when Tom arrives. It’s all of the guys around Lisa. She leaves the shot to question Tom about his tardiness. He tells us that it’s hard to get out of bed because he’s so upset about Kristen. He doesn’t know what, or who, to believe. He suggests that Stassi could have borrowed Kristen’s phone to send the text. Tom asks Stassi for details. She tells him that the two had sex twice – once at Kristen & Tom’s, once at Jax’s. Tom tells her that he doesn’t trust Jax to tell the truth. Stassi tells him that he’s in denial & questions why he hasn’t dumped Kristen. Um, because not everyone jumps to the worst possible conclusion immediately! Tom tells Stassi that he can’t have Jax around, which leads Stassi to question why he can’t be around Jax if he doesn’t believe the story. Maybe because Jax either slept with Kristen or lied about sleeping with Kristen! They all know what a piece of work Jax is. Why do they keep him around?
Modeling tips by Jax. Then the photographer calls Tom over to shoot with Jax. Tom is not happy, but is trying to be professional. Guillermo & Lisa are discussing Jax. He seems to have no moral compass. Jax chimes in & says that if Tom had satisfied Kristen then she wouldn’t have cheated. Jax then says that he wasn’t really friends with Tom. Jax has got to be the most self-centered, immoral people I have ever seen. It doesn’t matter how bad their relationship was, you don’t sleep with your best friend’s girl!
Stassi gets the idea to do a naked shoot. Peter, Katie, & Ariana join in. Lisa comes in & busts them, but is laughing. We learn that Scheana’s engagement party will be held at Sur. Lisa is so good to her employees! Scheana wants Tom to come, but not Kristen. Lisa tells Stassi that she needs to apologize for slapping Kristen, but Stassi refuses. She sees this as a war!
Lisa really feels bad for Tom. Assuming this isn’t just for the show, I do too. Lisa can’t believe that Tom doesn’t believe what’s right in front of him. She tries to make Tom see that Kristen has some responsibility. Jax has no remorse for betraying his friend. Tom finally admits that he knows Kristen is lying. Lisa tells him not to worry about Jax, that his relationship with Kristen is more important.
Back at Tom & Kristen’s, they are wrapping gifts for Scheana’s party. Tom tells her that everyone will be there, but Kristen is the most worried about Lisa. Tom tells her that he spoke with Stassi & Lisa about the alleged cheating. Tom has tried every other option, but he believes that the texts came from her phone. She continues to deny it. He tells her that she has to admit the truth if she wants to continue their relationship. She tells him that it’s over if he can’t believe her. They go their separate ways.
Scheana is shopping for a wedding dress. She wants a fabulous gown, but is on a budget. She also wants something sexy, yet classy, that she can twerk & booty-pop in. I’m not going there, it’s just too easy. Everyone is arriving at Sur for the party. What is Ariana wearing? Everyone else is in dresses, but she’s in a crop top & parachute pants.
Lisa pulls Stassi aside & tells her to apologize to Kristen. There is never a reason to slap someone. Stassi reluctantly agrees. Lisa thinks that Stassi is maturing, but I’m not convinced.
Scheana changes into shorts & a tank top so she can climb onto the bar. She thanks everyone for coming, and then announces that she has chosen this night to debut her new song. Katie notes that she’ll never let an audience pass her by. Whether you like the song or not, you gotta admire her perseverance. Even Stassi admits that the song is catchy. I haven’t heard it yet, so I’m reserving comment.
Tom & Kristen arrive. Scheana thanks Kristen for the gift & behaves very appropriately. Stassi asks Kristen to come out front. She will apologize for slapping Kristen, but nothing else. Stassi can’t even get a word in before Kristen starts crying. She says that she can’t look Stassi in the eyes because she had sex with Jax once. We get a montage of all of Kristen’s denials. Kristen is more upset about betraying Stassi than Tom. When she says that they all felt sorry for her, Tom chimes in & defends Kristen. Stassi wonders why Tom isn’t more shocked, but he reveals that she told him before they left the house. Tom wants to be there for Kristen because she shouldn’t have to face Stassi alone. Tom has a problem with Stassi making the situation all about her. What else did he expect? We’re talking about Queen Stassi here.
Stassi goes back inside & informs Katie, Other Tom, Scheana & Ariana that Kristen has admitted to sleeping with Jax. Jax is relieved that Kristen has come clean. Tom takes him out back to have a chat. Tom opens up about how betrayed he feels. He has been a good friend to Jax & wants to know why Jax doesn’t feel any remorse. How could anyone be that cold? Jax is stone-faced as he says that it isn’t a big deal & that he doesn’t feel bad about it.
Lisa is comforting Kristen, when Kristen admits the sex to her. Lisa doesn’t care about the personal business, but is concerned about how all of Kristen’s lies will affect her business. Lisa admits, in her TH, that she is disgusted by Kristen’s actions. Kristen thinks that she could still work at Sur. Lisa says that it would be easier for Kristen to quit.
Other Tom is being a good friend. He feels bad about the way that everything came out. He doesn’t understand why Tom isn’t angrier at Kristen. He points out that Kristen let Tom make a fool out of himself by defending her. Like the rest of us, he wonders why the two are still together.
Lisa joins the group & attempts salvage the party. Tom approaches & asks why they are there. Lisa cuts him off in his whining & tells him to cut the BS. Yay Lisa! This is supposed to be Scheana & Shay’s engagement party, not a chance for Tom & Kristen to cause more drama. Lisa is leaving & suggest everyone do the same. Tom is still confused by Jax’s apathy.
All of a sudden, Tom leaps over the table to begin punching Jax. The girls & Other Tom are thrown around. Tom is smiling, which leads to Scheana crying over her ruined party. Tom got in a good shot! Jax is bleeding, but doesn’t seem at all upset. Lisa doesn’t condone what Tom did, but she does understand it. In his TH, Jax says that sleeping with Kristen was the final nail in his coffin, but he’s ok with that. This man has no soul.
It appears that the group is having a two-part formal reunion this year, a step up from last year’s appearance on WWHL. After that, I’ll be blogging Southern Charm, scheduled to begin March 3.
Vanderpump Rules slipped past Real Housewife of Beverly Hills in Monday night’s ratings in both overall viewers and the young demographic. That’s the first time a housewife show hasn’t been the ratings leader for the night – (unless Miami was beat by something.)
I’m pretty sure the executives are taking a hard look at this cast to figure out who to ditch and who to keep.