Welcome back race fans.. Last week, the cowboys (Chet and Cort) took first place and won a pair of express passes. One for themselves and one to give away. They say it’s a pain in the ass having that extra one so it’s likely they will get rid of it pretty quick. They are the first to start and their destination is the Chen Clan Acadamy where they have to get their first clue. That clue is an ink stamp that one of the guys at the academy will put on their foreheads but of course, they have to get there first. It’s far away but since they don’t speak Chinese, and English isn’t a very well known language in China, they decide to run, in spite of two locals telling them it’s far away. Everyone else figures that out and most take the subway. Eventually the cowboys get the hint as well. You can see by the picture, who got there first. Brenchel.
That stamp takes them to the toy district where they find a roadblock. They are to find and assemble, a motorized toy car.. Once they get that together, they can move on. There are a million parts to these cars and of course, the instructions are in Chinese. Add to that there are dozens of small kids running around. Let’s see if I can remember this.. Chuck, Mark, Jen, Margie, Brendon, A Geranimal, A Globetrotter, Megan, John, and Chet all take on the task. If I got one wrong, oh well. Mark finishes first and to my surprise, Margie finishes second. All make pretty good time of it except Blonde Jen, who whines about putting stuff together.. Just bounce this blonde team now. They were pretty useless on their own season and aren’t proving much better this time. Caroline however, talks the cowboys out of that second express pass that they didn’t seem too disappointed to get rid of. Now it’s out of play and they have the only one in the game.
Once the cars are assembled, they have to deliver them. Via taxi to some playpark. Everything is going fine until it is discovered that Somebody left Mark’s backpack behind. I say technically, it was Mallory who did but also each is responsible for their own stuff. They decide to continue on however and go back and get it after the delivery, with Mark bitching the entire way. They have what he technically needs for the race except his clothes. I don’t see why they couldn’t just finish the leg and then go back and get it. Mark is hoping the rest of the time, that someone saw it and brought it. No such luck. Of course, it’s Mallory’s fault. Also of note, Megan finishes before Surfer John. THAT guy, is as worthless as tits on a bull so she helps him.
Let’s take a little break here. Megan hates women who play the weak girl card, as the country singers do constantly. I have seen Megan get mad and cry but I have never seen her give up. Country singer quit that task basically before she ever got started and her partner was working on Cord for that express pass almost as fast. I don’t think they ever had any intention of doing that task. I hate women like that too. I like Megan.
Teams all get their cars delivered and are given their next clue. It’s a detour. Chinese glass or Feather Ball.. You can see what the Chinese glass task looks like. It looks like torture to me but they call it therapy. Suppose to get the blood flowing and suck the toxins out of your body. If this is your type of thing, have at it. None of the teams did so we won’t bother with discussing it anymore. The Feather Ball task is basically a game of hackysack with what looks like a badmitton bird instead of a bean bag. They can propel it with any of their body except their hands and arms. The teams, paired with a couple locals have to complete ten passes without fail to move on. Before they could move on to this detour, Mark insisted that he have his bag. Personally, I think he was being a dick. I don’t think he ever wanted to have Mallory as a partner and at one point, he told her about being Kentucky, which is where she’s from. Dude, you are responsible for your own shit. Stop blaming the 4 foot tall white woman. They get his damn backpack and make it to the detour.
Everyone eventually finishes and are off to the pit stop. Brenchel gets there first and wins $2500 each, with Margie and her son a very close second.. In fact, I wasn’t completely sure who stepped on the mat first. Others filed in, it doesn’t matter where until we get to the last 3 teams. YouTube and Surfer asshat show up, and the surfer asshat steps on the mat before Megan and Joey can.. This is a lesson for Megan.. IF they had been the last two teams to arrive, this would have put YouTube out of the race when, Megan should have left that dumb shit, John, back there trying to figure out how to put that car together. Helping him nearly cost her the race and I doubt that sun baked asshole would have cared one bit. Fortunately for them, Mark forgot his backpack and burned a lot of time going back to get it, all the while bitching at Mallory that it was left. I guess you could blame either one of them. I’m sure you’ve all known people who would forget their own heads if you didn’t remind them to bring it along. It is Mark and Mallory who are the last to arrive. They are gone from the race. I hope Mark is happy to have his backpack back on his back.
See you next week
The Walking Dead from Empress
She also gave us a Scandal recap this week for those interested