Welcome back castaways.. Last week we said goodbye to cliff after Francis the talking mule put her plan to get rid of him, into action. LJ better watch out because Francis has a Mrs Robinson crush going on for the guy.. Jefra, the other ‘beauty’ on that tribe is a complete moron IMO.. Let’s see what kind of trouble these people can get themselves into this week and who can knock Francis and Tony off of their Asshat thrones. Maybe they’ll stay there, who knows…
I am going to start this off by saying this. There is nothing I hate more in this world, than cocky people. Truthfully, I would rather kiss my dead dog’s butt than deal with these people. I honestly find myself wanting to stab these people in the throat with an ice pic. As soon as the tribe returns from camp, Francis the talking mule starts pounding her gums about why she did what she did and anyone who doesn’t like it can kiss her bony ass (paraphrasing), especially Lindsey who was Cliff’s partner.. A whole thing erupts about how they don’t like each other and aren’t part of the same team, and before the first part of the evening ends, Lindsey is off in the woods by herself.. For some reason Probst joins her to find out what her malfunction is. It turns out that she can’t stand Francis and doesn’t want to be there anymore with her and the band of traitors. So, Lindsey up and quits. She’s done. Doesn’t want to show her tribe anything but her ass as she departs the island which leaves Probst to deliver the news. If Lindsey was hoping anyone would mourn her departure, she got a rude awakening when she watched the show last night. The one she really screwed at this point, was Woo. He too was aligned with her and Cliff… The tribe celebrated it, 2 for one gone. Personally, I think Lindsey should have stayed a little longer, maybe help throw a challenge, something, just to grind their asses if she was going to leave anyway.. She could have quit AND made them vote someone else out. I mean if you’re going to make a bitch move like quitting, make it a REAL bitch move and take one of those useless big mouths with you.
Let’s see if this new tribe with the brainiacs can win anything at the reward challenge. We’ve seen this game before. One from each has to balance a little idol on top of a little platform. 4 heats minimum, the win is decided against the team whose little idol hits the ground first. It doesn’t matter if they both get knocked off, first one on the ground loses the round. The answer to if the tribe with the brains can win anything, is no. They lose the reward challenge but not for lack of effort. At least I wasn’t watching skinny women get drug across the sand by he-men because there aren’t enough of each gender on both tribes to keep things even.
So, what did the purple tribe win? They get to send two members to the other tribe’s camp to ‘raid’ it.. They are given a list of what and how much they can take. Tony and Woo make the trip.. What did they take? The fishing gear and the comfort items. These are both items that the beauty tribe had won previously and the brains tribe lucked into with this tribe mix-up.. Since they only had the stuff a couple days, the original Brains won’t miss those items very much… Before they leave, Tony gets this half baked plan in his fried brain to plant a seed of doubt in the orange tribe. He pulls Jerimiah aside in plain view of the others, and hands him a clue to a hidden idol. One that has already been claimed after Morgan couldn’t find it on the beauty tribe at their camp. LJ actually has that idol.. We’ll leave that there for a minute as we go to the immunity challenge.
First though, Tony and Woo return to their camp with their raided items. Tony begins to brag about his perceived outbraining the brains. The others ask if they took the food- Assholes. Food wasn’t on the list of items they could take but whoever asked that, I suspect Francis the talking jackass… Asshole.. Tony finally admits to the others that he’s a cop.. LJ is in love with Tony because he’s such an honest and trust worthy guy. Francis (Trish) admits she’s a man. We already knew that, Frank. I am pissed at wordpress for taking away the animated eye roll and I won’t even attempt the secret world of emoji because I know many of us can’t even see anything but an empty box when they are used... Okay, let’s get to this immunity challenge.
Pre challenge chatter seems to have the orange tribe falling apart as Jeremiah tells the others about the stunt Tony tried to pull. That won’t matter until later though. The challenge is a multiple step challenge. First they have to use varying lengths of poles to build a staircase in order to get up inside of a bamboo maze… Once all 5 competing members complete the maze, one of them can begin to string a key along a tangled rope that will be used to unlock a machete. That machete is then used to release a pile of puzzle pieces that the entire team can use to build a vertical puzzle. Once the puzzle is properly completed, it will reveal 3 numbers that are the code to a combination lock. Put the combo on the lock, release another key, that will raise a team flag and said team wins immunity. It is the purple team, the one with Tonynotacopisacop and Francis, that wins immunity. It isn’t lost on their ex teammate, Sarah, that the 5 of them gave a celebratory final 5 yell. Meaning, she is on her own, even at the merge, if she makes it that far, so, She better start building another alliance…
Pre tribal chatter goes right into Tony’s attempted mindfuck as Alexis bought it hook line and sinker. So did Spencer by the way.. She’s talking up the others about getting rid of Jeremiah because he’s probably working for the other team. Anyone stupid enough to buy that line of bullshit is working for the other team. Season 28, Alexis, have you Never watched this show beyond the pretty boys they put in the cast? Stupid stupid little girl. She and they go to tribal with the assumption that Jeremiah will be the one voted out. One thing she clearly forgot about is that the three remaining from the brains, votes as a block for self preservation. Maybe she didn’t forget it, I don’t know. One thing IS clear, is that Tony has convinced himself (on the other tribe) he’s made a master move to get rid of one he knows he cannot beat at final 3, Jeremiah .. He has also shown Sarah that there is no badge alliance, he’s in it for himself. As he should be but Sarah is feeling quite the fool for ever trusting the guy.
Remember what I said last week about Tribal and the Probsting. He always knows what questions to ask and who to ask. Look above if you want to know about the tribal questions and answers.. Alexis is feeling very confident in her plan to help Tony eliminate Jeremiah, he’s feeling a little pressure because he doesn’t know what this herd of sheep is thinking. Morgan is just kind of smiling there in the background, and the brains know they are in a position of social power.. The vote is taken, read, guess what happened… Silly silly girl, Alexis… Her name is read 4 times, enough to eliminate her. With each one, I think she cried inside a little more that her game failed her. Morgan smiled a little more with each vote read because she wasn’t the one voted for. Alexis is eliminated from the game and cries on her way out because her gameplay wasn’t good enough. That’s the way that cookie crumbles…
There you have it my friends.. Week six of Survivor Cagayan .. I now leave you to get back to your discussion from yesterday about that Beverly Hills pack of hyenas and whether or not the pink queen was proper in dissing the lush over her kid’s fucking graduation party or some dumbass fingerpainting party held by the sickly lemon flavored dutch bitch. I am so far down the road of Don’t Blvd and past it’s intersection with Giveafuck Avenue about whether the rainbow farting queen lied, lies, gets a pass about anything, is dismissive, or any other crime she has committed against humanity, or not. Don’t even get me started on which one she would save in a fire next week. Brandi or her ex husband’s mistress. I would let both of them burn as I gleefully watched the building burn to the ground. The very thought of any of those people nauseates me.
As for not survivor Lindsey, no tears of sadness shed here. She knew what this game was when she started and knew she’d be teamed up with a pack of backstabbers and liars, and general assholes, when she started. That’s the game she signed up to play. It’s for a million dollars for christ sake and you’re going to have to take some shit if you want any chance of winning the grand prize. Quitting is a coward’s move in my opinion and if she didn’t want to play with people like those, she should have stayed home. I called out the gay bigot last season when he did it, I’m calling out Lindsey now for the same thing.
Next week, the merge and Sarah suddenly finds herself in a position of power.. Her original tribe let her know that CopsRUs is total bullshit, and she holds no loyalties to anyone on her current tribe. She’s the swing vote. That’s what the preview edit wants us to believe anyway. Til then, Peace.