Part 1 by Ramonacoaster
Sonja on Carole, Interns, and the Dangers of Social Media
Hello again from Thailand my Bravo family! First off, it is obvious Ramona is so happy to not be part of the #BookGate crossfire herself but she sure likes to stir the pot! LMAO. Ramona feels bad being the catalyst!!! When?!?
Ramona is a veteran who knows how it works. She might as well let Carole know what is being said behind her back. It is going to come out anyway when Carole watches the show. There is no love loss with Aviva anyway.
Oh my, I had no idea this thing had escalated to this level. I never saw Carole lose her self like that! Seeing them on the staircase, flinging insults, flipped my stomach. They were such good friends before. Love quickly turns to hate.
I think Carole’s love for Aviva was short-lived after she watched last season.
Ramona is like Cheshire Cat grinning like that. . . Again she is just happy to not be the one slinging arrows. So sad to see Ramona planning her trip to Africa knowing what transpires later. She was so happy.
At least Ramona had a nice trip with her family before she filed for divorce from LotharioMario. I wonder how therapy is going.
It is weird watching this scene how Heather is 100 percent behind Carole in BookGate while not having been at the lunch or the hallway brawl. She is feeling Carole’s pain and going for it.
Heather is being a good friend to Carole and defending her.
I had NO idea myself. I was feeling bad for Aviva because it was her party and she had put so much effort into getting the townhouse decorated in time after just moving in and hiring the caterer. Wrong place, wrong time once again for our group. We have a knack for that.
Why feel bad? Aviva got her event filmed at her newly decorated townhouse by starting this drama.
When we interview interns we try to scare them off. They think as Adrienne says “Fun?!” It’s not fun! You missed some of the more serious parts of the interview because that’s boring television. Everyone always asks me “Do your interns tweet for you?” No one emails, tweets, or posts anything without showing the final product to me. I write all my own material. They research hashtags and Twitter, fanpage, Instagram handles for me, and then insert them into my comments. On my blogs they insert sponsors or charity names, or designers so I can properly credit them. My newsletter and other forms of social media need constant editing.
It takes a village….
For my showroom they study fashion trends and check in merchandise samples. Then the stylist interns pick up and drop off dresses and are in charge of spotting celebs and photographing us together to post on social media to highlight the designer who lends us the dresses. And we must do this first before all others to gather organic followers (after I approve it!). We do NOT buy followers.
There are some people that have found out firsthand the potential backlash of being exposed as a fraud when someone investigated their twitter numbers growing exponentially then disappearing when Twitter decides to clean up spammers. It would be more lucrative to build real relationships with people by providing quality messages or images that inspire your audience’s imagination.
BookGate aside, I am so happy for Aviva and her new book. She has a publisher and she wrote a book! She’s sharing her story with others. It’s liberating for her and helps others as well. You can see she is getting healthier. She is not even afraid of bugs anymore! Her phobias are melting away. I’m personally happy for her and can put our past aside. If she can help herself, I am happy to help her be her best.
Oh hello! What about the lies she is spewing about Carole? Her problems come out in other ways which is to discredit others to prop herself up.
Needless to say I’m impressed with Carole’s writing skills and all her other talents. This BookGate is not about writing or books. It’s deeper.
It is about Aviva acting like a crazy person.
Here we are at Carole’s baby shower. Eric Goldie VP of Social Media. I love it! There is so much that goes into social media. You can’t just tweet what whatever you feel! You can be one tweet away from being fired or dumped by your best friend. Some people have no idea. I keep my brand ID in mind when posting across my social media platform at all times. What is my message? Carole said she pays Eric nothing. Doesn’t that make him an intern? She said she wanted an intern like mine! Hers is pretty sweet.
I love Eric’s LinkedIn page. He makes being an intern into something official sounding.
The new old fashioned way of having kids? Who needs the sperm? Plenty of sperm out there. It’s the eggs I need at my age right?
Watching that scene made me sing the song by Heart “All I Want to Do is Make Love to You.” It would be much more fun to have a one night stand with a good looking guy to get pregnant. I guess that would be too old-fashioned.
I totally relate to Kristen at the Spartan Race. Waking to Pilates class is enough exercise sometimes. This is too intense. Sometime Ramona pushes me to work out military style. I don’t like it! I knew Josh wasn’t going to stay with Kristen. Why did he say he would? It’s a competition. I’ve been in Kristen’s situation, where I’ve been talked into something I shouldn’t be doing in the first place. It doesn’t feel good, but you have to finish on your own and grow. I take pride in getting through it on my own. Like Norma Kamali’s OMO.
He wanted the race to be filmed since his company sponsored it which is probably why he wanted Kristen involved. It is too bad he didn’t stick with his wife. It would have given him a better image, thus a better image for his brand.
Oh dear, see you next week when you meet Amanda the image consultant. . .And you come to my Caburlesque charity event at the East Hampton Studio for LIGLBY a youth center in Long Island for the LGBT (and supporting artists). Many thanks to David Klimick for all he does. I also thank MC Hank Stampfl of Speakeasy Moderne for bringing all his performers and to Steve Carl of Carlyle off the Green for sponsoring Sonja In The City by donating props, food, wine, champagne, and for helping me create the cabaret-like intimate surroundings in a huge airplane hanger! We love challenges and it makes good TV while bringing attention to good causes!
Can’t wait to see your performance and the drama that comes afterward. I don’t think I’m going to like Amanda.
Kristen: Do I Need to Man Up?
How fun was my lipstick color that night? I was ready for a fun and celebratory evening and then Aviva broke out with “word on the street” and all hell broke loose. . .I was wondering, does that mean 72nd and Broadway? Or is there some “Secret Street” that comes up with gossip and myths? Why would Aviva have to say, “At least I am not 50?” Aviva, last I checked, you weren’t so far off lady? What did the age comment have to do with anything? I am seeing a side of Aviva at this party that I have only heard about. I am treading cautiously. Let’s remember that I only just met all these woman. I am trying to form my own opinions. The only thing I know to be 150 percent or 100 percent true is that Carole did not use a ghost/cowriter.
Aviva is throwing out insults out of her peg leg to stir up some drama. What the heck did bringing up the Kennedys have to do with Bookgate?
Aviva should not be accusing Carole of lying and should be careful spreading rumors about someone’s career and business that are not based on the facts.
It can happen to her too.
Carole’s comment about Aviva not knowing because she hasn’t ever had a job outside of the home is valid. Aviva feels no remorse spreading rumors about Carole.
I’m sure all the ladies will take turns with Aviva spreading rumors and gossip about them.
That poor new cute blonde girl was like a deer in headlights. She has no idea what she is getting herself into! #Spoileralert. I don’t remember meeting her so don’t think she made it! LOL!
Is Sonja harsh on her interns or do they just decide to get paying jobs?
I was warned about Aviva and her anger/temper by the girls, but I hadn’t seen it yet for myself until the night of her party. I had to just call her out on it — what happened? Seems like your jealous. I still do not understand what is wrong with saying that at one point she considered getting help writing her book and then decided that she could do it all on her own. Then she starts going on about her writing background. That’s great. Good for her, those are some great accomplishments. Do I really care about this? No. The only issue is Aviva spreading rumors about Carole and her book is slander. It’s f—ed up. Stop!
Thanks for breaking it down. Aviva is jealous of Carole and had to put her down to feel better about herself. I don’t think the ghostwriter crap matters.
The Spartan Race. I have watched that damn footage now four times and can’t figure out if my husband is right? Am I an ungrateful pussy, that needs to man up or am I Real Housewife that is scared s—less?
I think asking for support from your husband is something that shouldn’t make you feel bad. He said yes and reneged on your agreement. That’s not so great. A relationship is built on trust and he let you down. As a businessman, he shouldn’t be doing this stuff on a cable show. It makes him untrustworthy. If he lies to his wife, he can lie to anyone.
I had so much emotion running through me that whole damn race that a breakdown at the finish line was inevitable. Really, there was no way around that breakdown. I am not one to hide any emotion. I am an open book on every level. I finished. I am NOT a quitter. I am a model, a girly girl, but let’s be clear — I grew up in Connecticut on a farm. I cleaned out barns, rode motorcycles, played in the dirt, climbed trees, etc. I am my husband’s wife. I did that race to support him and his company EBOOST. One year later, I can look back and say that I am happy that I did the race. Yes, I am now a “Spartan.” I am open to trying everything one time. I did it, it’s done I am now officially a damn Spartan. Whoop de do. . .
That race looked hardcore. I think I would have vomited midway through the race. Kadooz for finishing.
When you see me walk up to the race, I was nervous as hell. There was no hiding that. OMG. It was horrible! I wanted to puke and cry all at once. I was fighting back tears from the minute I got there. You’re probably asking: Why the hell did you do it then? (You will see I end up doing a lot of things this Season where I ask myself, “What the hell was I thinking?!”) I really don’t know. To support my husband and his company is all I can answer. It really was something I wanted to do for him to show my support. I know he really enjoys doing those sorts of things together, minus the break down at the end. I know it turned him on for his wife to cross that finish line.
I hope you get a diamond necklace to match those earrings.
EBOOST is one of the Spartan Race sponsors, so at this point, Josh had done two other races and had mentioned that he really wanted me to do one with him. In relationships, each of you are very passionate about things that the other just may not be, ie. Josh with the gym, exercise, etc. He always has had this fantasy that I am going to one day be that girl that will WANT to do that sort of stuff with him. Want and can are two very different things. Random example: I drink a ton of tea. At least six cups a day. So for years I would make my tea and ask Josh if he would like a cup. After so many “nos” he finally responded yes, and actually enjoys a cup of tea with me now at night. This is maybe an example of how people may think they can change someone, especially in relationships?
Turning into a Spartan woman should be something you want for yourself, not what he wants for you. I doubt every couple likes to do everything together. I just hope you both are fundamentally moving in the same direction.
This is my argument (Well, one of many). I did not prepare at all. Down to the gear — we went that morning and bought those arm protective bands. Thank goodness or else my arms would have been scrapped to s— (like my legs got). I wore regular sneakers when a lot of the other people had shoes with little spikes on them. I was sliding all over the place (Josh had the special shoes). Does it sound like I am just complaining? Sorry, I guess I am. I just never in a million years thought it was going to be like that. Barbed wire, 25-foot rope climb, jumping over fire, getting sprayed with a fire hose — ALONE! I don’t mind getting dirty and messy. The problem was the race took two hours without stopping, with no rest, and with two little water stations. I really thought that it as going to be more like a marathon, not so scary. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. I wanted to up and quit three times at the top of the mountain. I almost walked off into the woods.
Two effing hours and up a mountain and barbed wire? Oh heeeeellll no! Some people think putting themselves through hell is a fun thing. They probably also don’t mind getting tied up with a ball-gag in their mouth.
The barbed wire was horrible — 100 feet of barbed wire three feet from the ground in the mud. Every three feet, it was a field of barb wire, like something you would have seen in some army movie. I looked out over the barbed wire and all you could see were tufts of hair and blood. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! WTF is all I kept thinking. And who else was I going to get mad at but my husband? Apparently, someone told me after that some guy cut his face on the barbed wire and the only thing that stopped him from cutting his face wide open was his nose bone! Hello!
Cutting yourself and possibly getting the cut infected with all that mud is not my idea of a good time. I’m sure the muscle soreness the next few days wasn’t fun either.
Heather leaving me in the dust with Josh. Watching Josh help Heather over some of the obstacles while I did it on my own. Miserable. Yup, sucked. They are very competitive, they both get off on that sort of thing. The competition of it, me not so much. Listen. They both love and support me and have my backs where it counts and thats all that really matters. #Staytuned.
As long as Heather has your back during the reunion, that’s all that matters in the world of the housewives.
I have to say, when I got half way through, I realized that I could do this and that I was going to take my anger out on the race. I decided full steam ahead, slow and steady wins the race. You know what? Slow and steady can and will win any race in life. You can do it, and it’s okay to do it at your own pace on your own time. Even if its just you and for you. Alone.
I take it you are getting used to the idea of being alone and part of a couple.
Aviva: The Good, the Sad, and the Ugly
I know, I know, I’m supposed to act out violently and respond in kind to Carol’s relentless attacks — and I’ll get to that — but first, I want to talk about some wonderful parts of this episode — one of the best RHONY episodes ever. I hope this doesn’t violate some practice of “real” writers.
Let’s put off the talk about how you are the “bad guy” of the franchise until later in the blog.
I loved the section of Sonja speaking to her new intern. It so brilliantly captured Sonja’s honesty, self-deprecating humor, confidence, quirkiness, and presence. Her stream of consciousness left me laughing and charmed. I’ve had my differences with Sonja, but I have to say, this glamorous funny person I saw is the real Sonja. I want her in my life; I want to be her friend.
Look out Sonja. Aviva might try finding the same bustier you wear and wear the same thing.
Watching Ramona as her daughter Avery and Avery’s friends prepared for the prom was so moving. We know Ramona as a fun party person, a fierce enemy, a great friend, a provocative presence. And we know she’s honest, sometimes brutally so; certainly the most honest housewife. You could call her “The Realist Housewife of New York City.”
I was very impressed with Kristen competing in the Spartan Race. She risked injury and disfigurement (nearly fatal for a model) and triumphed in the race. It was a race she didn’t want to compete in and only did it because her husband Josh wanted her to. She agreed to do it only on the condition Josh didn’t abandon her during the race. I don’t know what Josh intended — say anything to get her to race “for her own good” or did his machismo take over and he just wanted to win? It felt like a betrayal to me, and I felt bad for Kristen. Still, she was amazing, and I’m full of admiration for perseverance and skill.
Okay, if you’ve read this far, you deserve a trashy reward for wading through all the positives about this latest RHONY adventure.
A white trashy reward?
First, I want to reiterate last week’s blog theme — this is a stupid fight. It’s not about any of the important things that people fight about — religion, politics, sex, money, eyeglass frames — it’s about ghostwriters. Carole thinks I had one/I think Carole had one. That’s it. And as I said last week, I don’t care if Carole had one — or a hundred.
I get it. It is hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you have been so self-centered your whole life. Carole’s profession as a writer is very important to her. To say she used a ghostwriter could possible hurt her career and is slander.
But it was — or could have been — one of those fun Real Housewifey fights.
You did! Oh Yeah! Yeah! Well, you did too! Oh Yeah! Yeah! You’re a liar! You’re a phony! That’s not nice! You hurt my feelings! I’m so sorry! I apologize! I don’t accept your apology! I don’t accept yours! I’m even sorrier! I’m even apologizier! [They embrace.] Sister! Sister!
I’m beginning to wonder if you watched a housewife show. It usually doesn’t go down that way. It’s more like:
“STFU! You stupid bitch! You are in high school and while you are in high school I am in Brooklyn trying to survive in this economy! Are you smoking crack? I am gone with the wind fabulous! I will drag you in this bitch! Come on wig. You’re a bigot! Oh ok.”
Instead, it escalated to the physical (Carole pushing me in the face — not a nice thing to do to a girl on a staircase — even a two legged girl) and new lows in insults. OK, maybe not a new low. Last year one of the housewives did call two of the others “white trash” — but still pretty low. Anyway, Carole did call me a “nothing.” That’s something, don’t you agree?
Carole shouldn’t have touched you but you weren’t moving out of her way when she was walking down the steps which can be seen as physical intimidation. You can’t expect someone to just take insults without dishing a few out.
Worse, I think, is that she followed it up with “who never worked outside the house.” “A nothing who never worked outside the house.” Really, Carole? Leaving aside for a moment that it’s not true (when dealing with Carole it’s often necessary to leave aside for the moment that it’s not true), it’s insulting to every woman and man who works inside the house – whether they’re real housewives (as opposed to REAL HOUSEWIVES), mothers, domestic workers, telecommuters, business operators, editors, or . . . hang on . . . wait . . . it’s coming . . . WRITERS! Some writers work at home. What a concept.
It means you cannot put yourself in her shoes and understand that what you said was insulting and harming her reputation.
But then, in Carole’s mind, they’re not real writers. Where did Carole do the 20 or 30 years of journalism that led to her two books and real writerdom — in Starbucks? That’s what I call keeping it real.
So here’s what I think:
–Workers work. And that makes them workers wherever they do it.
–Writers write. And that makes them writers whatever they’ve done before and wherever they do it.
You know what, Carole, if you want to continue fighting with me, fine. We get it. You’re injured because I asked you if you had help on your book. Everyone knows it. You’ve spoken about it, written about it, and even sent your surrogate Heather to go around carrying the torch of your persecution. Who knew you were so touchy? But I was the one who asked you. Me. Only me. Don’t take it out on the millions who work inside the home, or the many who consider themselves writers simply because they write.
Take one thing she said and run with it. Be the victim. I don’t think anyone is buying it.
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
Cast Blogs Blogged by Stars99
Note: Let’s face it – This “Reunion – Part 2” was just another rehashing of stuff. There was barely anything new or inventive in either the show this week or their blogs… So that means… Yes, you’ve guessed it – More “Stars99 Award Nominations”… Woo hooo! This week, I decided to categorize several nominations solely based on their blogs this week or what was discussed during the “Reunion – Part 2.”For the record, Carlton, Joyce, Kyle and Lisa were the only ones who blogged this week. Their blogs in their entirety can be accessed at: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/blogs For clarity purposes, I’m enclosing my own snarky comments in [brackets] if any are warranted… And you just know I just can’t keep my sarcastic lil mouth shut, right? But I’ll try very hard to be brief… You’re welcome.
I want to take this time to thank BB for recapping the show for us each and every week. It’s hard to recap shows like this without physically getting sick by the drivel you’re forced to describe. BB has expertly done it week after week – and not only this show – but she recaps so many others, too. BB, I really admire and respect your commitment to this blog and to our community. Thank you so much for all that you do… You are AWESOME!
By the by… Wasn’t Princess Pindy’s “RHOBH Game of Thrones ~ Conspiracy Theory” blog that was posted yesterday absolutely awesome!?!!!!! It’s a MUST READ if you haven’t already done so… On with the award nominations…
Quotable Quotes of the Week Award Nominations:
In her blog, Lisa has some choice words for her castmates: “Oh and one more request, please, dearest “friends” on the reunion couch. Do me the honor and — get the hell off my back.” [Whoa… wait… Did Lisa just cuss? Gets the cussin’ jar out… Shakes it at Lisa…]
Andy said on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “Kim, you brought your juicer to Palm Springs? Did you think you couldn’t get juice there?” [Wait… Do you mean to say they actually have other kinds of juices than just cactus juice in Palm Springs?]
Kim says of Lisa on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “Cuz I don’t trust you with my shoe and I wouldn’t trust you with an old pair of socks.” [And I’m sure Kim will be happy to demonstrate how to wash, fold and dry said socks on a future episode… Oh no… I think I might have just inadvertently spoiled Kim’s entire storyline for next season, dagnabit! Whoopsie! ]
Kim said on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “I missed a huge chunk of my effin’ life… and my children’s lives… and I’m sorry if I missed a party or 2.” [This is sad and tragic on so many levels – No sarcasm needed.]
Best Guideline for Being Lisa’s Friend Award Nominations:
Lisa blogs: “So my friends, if I am ever remiss in closing the bathroom door when millions could be watching, please close it for me.” [Yeah, you can close mine, too.]
Lisa blogs: “Please don’t feel pressured to come to an event for my children. If you are participating in a charity, on the other side of the country, and have no idea what time you are returning, a gift is more than sufficient.” [No one ever has to attend an event for my children either. Wait…I don’t have children. Nevermind.]
Lisa blogs: “Please snatch the bottle from my hand if I am inebriated and potentially making a fool of myself in front of the world.” [Well, I already make a fool out of myself quite regularly without any alcohol involved – So a bottle probably wouldn’t hurt me too much…lol… Actually, perhaps I should use one as a prop to explain my behavior…lol…]
Lisa blogs: “Additionally, feel free to mock my illness, my accent, or state I have never been to a grocery store or that I have more attitude than a superstar, when I spend 80 percent of my time working my ass off. Don’t worry as I will not take offense or call you on it.” [Pssssst…. Lisa… Ummm… You just did…]
Best Jab for the Jugular Award Nominations:
Carlton blogs regarding the allegations of Mauricio’s infidelity and Kyle’s comment about Carlton’s sex toys on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “Not judging anyone’s sexual preference, but let’s be honest maybe if she had had her own “toys” those nasty “alleged” rumors of her husband wouldn’t still be out there. Where there’s smoke in West Hollywood…” [Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch… Isn’t it always smart to blame the alleged cheater’s infidelities on the person that is being cheated on? Wow… just wow… Notice the subtle use of the “West Hollywood” – Is Carlton implying something… You be the judge…]
Joyce says of Brandi: “YES, I called her out on needing rehab and I FIRMLY stand by it. She needs better friends that will tell her when she’s taking things too far.” [Brandi doesn’t listen to anyone but Brandi… To be fair, Brandi wouldn’t be able to hear her friend’s advice anyway because she allegedly had Botox done on her ear lobes and she can’t hear anything except the echo of her lone thought ricocheting from one side of her empty head to the other.]
Kyle says of Carlton’s pentagram tattoo: “I know what a pentagram looks like because I’ve seen it on Richard Ramirez, “The Night Stalker” – So I know what that looks like.” [And if you don’t think these women bring a list of prepared insults for their use during these Reunion shows – This just proved it. This was a HUGE insult because Ramirez was a convicted serial killer/rapist/burglar that terrorized California in 1984-1985, you can read about him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Ramirez]
Hallmark Card Award Nominations:
Joyce blogs about her original tagline choice: “Beauty is only skin deep, it’s what’s in your heart that matters.” [Sorry Joyce, that one was just too “Brady Bunch” for Bravo… To be fair, Joyce has always complained about her tagline this season – And we didn’t see anyone contradict her on the “Reunion – Part 2” when she talked about it.]
Joyce blogs regarding Brandi playing the victim card by using depression as an excuse for being mean: “Kindness is the language that even the deaf can hear.” [But again, I wonder if Brandi could hear it through her alleged Botoxed ear lobes?… Oh wait, that IS the point… lol…]
Kyle blogs regarding Kim and YoYo’s college-bound daughters: “It seems through all of the fighting and disagreements, it’s good to know that there is a mutual bond between us: motherhood.” [Oh, there are so many similarities between you women, some of which include: Being hypocritical, exhibiting narcissism, displaying arrogance, constantly seeking fame and celebrity, being lying liars who lie, looking for tits on an ant, being overly melodramatic, calling each other stupid names, etc. Such nice characteristics of mothers, no? Their children must be oh, so proud.]
Calling out Others on Playing the Victim Award Nominations:
Joyce blogs regarding Brandi: “Perhaps if she wasn’t so self-centered and if she devoted even a little bit of her time to charity, she would realize how blessed she is and she would thank God instead of playing the victim.” [Have we seen Brandi do any charity work for her own charities? We’ve seen her support others… And I’m sure she has her own favorite charities – So I wonder why we haven’t seen that side of her this season? Oh wait… Was there something in Sacramento? Hmmm… I’m sure someone will remember…]
Joyce blogs regarding Brandi: “I FIRMLY believe she needs to STOP playing the victim card — The “I’m a poor single mother card.” It’s unfortunate that she has people like Yolanda hindering her and making excuses for her poor or lack of behavior.” [Can you say, “enabler”… Yes, yes I KNEW you could. Oh won’t you be my neighbor? Sorry, obscure Mr. Rogers reference…]
Lisa blogs about Brandi: “Brandi, at first I admit, I had sympathy for her situation. She didn’t have a job and was a pariah within this group. But now, as we embraced her, financially she has gone from strength to strength and the victim card has been played out.” [Gee, I just can’t wait until next week when we see Brandi ballyhooing about “being dropped” by Ken and Lisa. Poor widdle Brandi.]
I Want an Apology, Dagnabit Award Nominations:
Carlton blogs of Kim’s insistence of an apology from Lisa: “The ridiculous arguing about Lisa not going to Kim’s daughters party was definitely going in circles with no end in sight. I think Lisa’s explanation was more than sufficient and she didn’t need two other people explaining it for her either.” [That’s because circles are round… and turtles are kind of round… and I love turtles… and pennies are round… and I love pennies… squirrel!]
Carlton blogs regarding Kyle: “She keeps persecuting Lisa for the bloody tabloid drama. Yet again, demanding an apology. I think it’s that misplaced anger, judging by the senseless way she goes after Lisa so vehemently.” [Oh I get it now, kinda like how you “vehemently” go after Kyle, right Carlton?]
Lisa blogs about being confused as to why Kim still wants an apology from her: “Yes, I was in Missouri and went to dinner on the way home… I have explained this, and sent a gift. I had marched with the children for miles, with children that have real challenges, where Giggy can be a comfort as he brings some sort of levity to the situation. We then travelled back to Los Angeles. Why is it such a problem? Most of her family wasn’t even there. I hardly know her daughter. Why on earth do I keep having to justify this? It beggars belief.” [Lisa, you almost qualified for the martyr award with this explanation – but because it’s incredulous to me that any of us are still talking about this subject, I felt it must be included.]
Lisa blogs about Kim: “I ponder the fact that apparently it is OK to sit in an interview and mock me fainting. Can we imagine if, God forbid, I reenacted scenarios of Kim drunk?” [I double dog dare you, Lisa!]
Lisa blogs about Kyle: “I apologized to Kyle for my flippant remark which was a response to when Yolanda stated Kyle had no friends. Oh but no, Kyle wouldn’t point that out. I wonder why not? The same as the praying incident. Brandi had said Kim was losing her mind, but that too is ignored. Very strange.” [Isn’t it interesting how someone’s personal bias can blind them to the truth of a situation? Myself included…]
Lisa blogs regarding Kim: “For Kim to attempt to undermine my husband, who has always been supportive, was rather irritating to say the least. He apologizes next week for questioning whether she had been drinking, as if that had been responsible for her aggression aimed at him. I am adamant in the fact that Ken should not have suggested whether she had been drinking, but, likewise he is (as am I) mystified by much of her behavior. But we are definitely supportive in her quest for sobriety.” [Yeah, you don’t “get” Kim and probably never will. She wants you to like her… to really, really like her… ]
Lisa blogs about deserving an apology herself: “My God, many things have been said that I am sure warrant an apology, but I won’t wait with bated breath — as I am sure it would be a long time coming.” [Yeah, don’t hold your breath for an apology about anything, Lisa… You’ll turn blue and die. Then, with you blue and dead, what will everyone’s storylines center around for next season?]
Why I’ll Never Be Friends with Her Award Nominations:
Joyce blogs about YoYo: “When we finally did lunch (on camera, mind you), she really surprised me as I was talking about my soft spot (my mother) I was teary eyed and she suddenly says: “This is boring, let’s talk about what happened at Carlton’s lunch” (referring to Lisa’s HairGate incident). Apparently it was far more interesting for her to throw her friend under the bus with the new girl than to get to know the new girl.” [Is it better to be thrown under a bus or under a train? Inquiring minds want to know for future reference.]
Joyce blogs and calls out YoYo on her behavior: “I really don’t understand where all the arrogance and the elitist behavior fits in. She tries to play the voice of reason, but it’s very obvious that she is out to attack Lisa and excuse Brandi.” [Did Joyce just call the mighty YoYo arrogant and elitist? Whoa… Duck for incoming bombs… Quack…lol…]
Carlton blogs about Kyle: “I refuse to start a shouting match with this grown woman who is overbearing and who is obviously extremely angry. What’s the bloody point when she wouldn’t allow me to answer any questions but just shouted over me?” [Duh, she who shouts loudest wins. Everyone knows that.]
Carlton blogs about Kyle: “If anyone had an agenda going in it was obviously her, as every time I saw her my faith came up. This has been my whole experience with her.” [Well Carlton, you gave her the ammo.]
Kyle blogs about Carlton: “I still don’t get Carlton’s obsession with the term “labeling,” especially when that is all she has done to me without ever getting to know who I truly am. She calls me a bigot when that is exactly what she has shown herself to be.” [Starts to inexplicably sing-song, “When you have Libby’s-Libby’s-Libby’s on the label-label-label – You will like it-like it-like it – On your table-table-table…”]
Kyle blogs about Carlton: “After months of Carlton attacking me in her interviews, the media, and Twitter I was done — as you could clearly see at the Reunion. We were never friends, so there is no love lost there.” [Stick a fork in Kyle cuz she’s done!]
Kyle talks of Carlton on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “You’re a liar and you’re a hypocrite and you’re a phony and you’re a fraud.” Carlton responds, “And you’re a bigot.” [But neither of these women are guilty of labeling each other, are they? Nope, nope, nope!]
Kim talks of Lisa on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “You’re full of s*** right now. You’re full of s***. And you’re a big liar.” [Kim said this after Lisa brought up that she has called Kim in her life – In fact, Lisa said she called Kim just before going to Puerto Rico when Lisa heard that something had happened to Kim’s son… Kim stammers a bit… And then says that it never happened… I wonder where those telephone records are… hmmm…]
Kyle blogs about Kim’s relationship with Lisa: “Kim has always felt dismissed by Lisa and was made to feel like she wasn’t important enough. When Kim addressed Lisa regarding not going to Kimberly’s graduation, she denied being in town. She even went as far as to say that our hairdresser, who saw her at SUR, was hallucinating. If she had just said “I came back early and was exhausted and had to go to SUR,” or even “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t in the mood to go,” then it would have been over.” [Am I hallucinating… Are we still talking about this?]
Lisa blogs of Kim: “Actually in retrospect, when I realize I have no chance of guarding her old socks — that is a comfort if our relationship ever went forward.” [Guarding socks is no easy task… They’re always escaping from my dryer.]
Lisa blogs about her co-housewives: “Am I held to a higher standard? Why does nobody apologize to me for hurting my feelings when they mocked my fainting?” [Oh dahling, those who sit on pink, sparkly thrones will always be held to a higher standard.]
Why I Might Not Be a “Real Housewife” Next Season Award Nominations:
Joyce eggmits when she’s wrong: “I honestly thought I would like Brandi and I thought I would not like Kyle. I have to say I had it totally wrong.” [Wait, a housewife actually voluntarily admitted to being wrong? Well, that seals the deal – Joyce won’t be back next season for sure…]
Again, Joyce eggmits she was wrong about YoYo: “Someone who truly caught me off guard, as I thought I would have loved her, was Yolanda. I was convinced we would become quick friends.” [Clearly, you didn’t worship YoYo and her lemons enough.]
In her blog, Carlton actually thanks Lisa for defending her: “I truly appreciate Lisa’s defending me against Kyle calling me anti-Semitic. Lisa, being the only business owner, really understood the severity of such a baseless accusation.” [Wait, a housewife actually appreciated someone defending her and expressed it in her blog? Clearly, Carlton isn’t coming back next season either. Rookie mistake.]
Things I Learned this Week that Aren’t Appropriate for an Actual Award:
Joyce blogs of YoYo: “During the entire Reunion she gave me her back, as she was mad at the fact that I defended Lisa. Originally I was going to sit next to Carlton, but I changed to be away from her as I didn’t want to deal with the negative energy. Had I known Yolanda would be so disrespectful and give me her back the entire time I would’ve rather dealt with Carlton’s negative energy than Yolanda’s arrogant behavior and her cutting me off every time I spoke.” [I thought they had mandated assigned seating at the Reunions… but I must be wrong…]
Carlton says on the “Reunion – Part 2”: “I practice witchcraft which is basically it’s about harnessing nature’s energies. Anything that nature has to offer that has a vibration and that’s what I use.” When Andy asked a clarifying question about harnessing energies, Carlton responded, “It’s to affect a needed positive change.” [If only Carlton had explained her faith like this earlier in the season, maybe we’d all be talking about other things by now…]
That’s it for this week, guys… We’ll hafta see how all this wraps up next week as we watch the “Reunion – Part 3” …Woo hooo! We’re almost there! One more week… You can do it… You can do it! Hang in there! Happy Trails!
Happy Birthday Joysmiling