Part 1 by Ramonacoaster
Aviva: It Takes a Village
It perhaps wasn’t the best choice of words and as a writer I should have known better, I suppose, but I still believe it was clear to everyone what I meant when I said, “it takes a village” to make a book. It does. I’ve said this all before – in the Acknowledgements of Leggy Blonde on the show, in interviews.
I’m beginning to wonder if Aviva is using a ghostwriter for her blog. From her first season blogs, she used to be very direct, angry and whiny. This writer is playful, long-winded, sarcastic and circuitous. What remains the same is the self-victimization.
But the haters can’t seem to get past the phrase — and, you know, I don’t blame them; it sounds lame. There must be a more felicitous way to say it. Would it sound better if I said “team” rather than “village?” Or maybe “coven” (that’s more Housewifey), “Clack,” “Minyan,” “Platoon,” “Mob,” “Posse” (very Heather), “Clique,” “Band,” “Troop,” “Society,” “Crowd,” “Gang,” “Party,” “Crew,” “Cluster” (“cluster f—?”), “Committee” – yes, committee: that sounds more democratic and modest than “village” or “ME.” It takes a committee to make a book.
Aviva’s ghostwriter knows how to use a thesaurus.
But before I abandon “village” altogether, here’s some background that may enlighten you to how I was seduced: The phrase purportedly comes from an African Proverb — “It takes a village to raise a child.” It was used in the title of the 1996 bestseller, It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us by then First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton about Clinton’s quest to find a way to improve the lives of children. The Dallas Morning News called it “a textbook for caring . . . filled with truths that are worth a read, and a reread.” (Maybe a must read for Housewives?)
This must be in response to Carole’s blog last week that referenced Hillary Rodham Clinton’s comment regarding age shaming. One upping using Hillary references.
The Acknowledgments section opens with “It takes a village to bring a book into the world, as everyone who has written one knows.” That was a long time ago . . . before the concept was considered weak by Carole and the “we do it alone” set. (Can’t you just see Carole chopping down those trees to make the paper to print the words that no one is allowed to change a letter of?) It’s also in the title of Jane Cowen-Fletcher’s children’s book It Takes a Village, Jethro Collins’ It Takes a Village to Murder Your Husband, and Family Guy: It Takes a Village Idiot and I Married One (maybe these two latter ones should also be required Housewife reading). So for now, I’ll stick with being grateful to everyone in my committee. I couldn’t have done it without them. And again, congratulations to Carole for doing it on her own without help, villagers, or committees. I now know what an impossible task that is.
Aviva must have told the ghostwriter to over exaggerate in order to avoid addressing what happened during the episode such as lying to Luann about Carole calling her a bad mother and lying about Heather threatening her. Heather was warning her.
By the way, as gorgeous and natural as we are, I think you could say that it also takes a village — make that, committee — to make a Real Housewife real. Makeup, stylists, Spanx (or those knock-offs Heather pushes), eyelashes, Botox (those foreheads aren’t going to inject themselves), boobs, tucks, tightening, designer spare legs, hair (color and cut), manies, pedies, peels, etc. God forbid natural women should also have a little help with their words.
I hope the NY housewives don’t start looking like the Beverly Hills housewives. BH is too shiny. NY looks more natural.
To me, this week’s episode belonged to Sonja. I remain oved and delighted at the way she puts herself out there. She’s so full of courage, generosity, and good nature. What a brilliant counter to the petty spats breaking out all over Housewifeville. I still maintain Sonja is the Realest; Carole and I are unfortunate distractions. Sonja should have her own show.
It is too bad you couldn’t put a lock on your friend Amanda’s mouth. Her rude and obnoxious comments ruined Sonja’s performance. I can see why your friends with her. Birds of a feather.
And finally, Carole says what I’m doing by asking about her book is “slander” and “illegal.” This is not something that was covered when I went to law school, but then maybe Carole has some special insight. Illegal, Carole? Really? Who you gonna call?
Don’t bait her. You never know what could happen.
LuAnn: What’s Going on With Amanda?
Big surf and hunky instructors, burlesque, BBQ and battles. . .This episode had it all (and I’m glad to be back in the action). The show opens with Carole saying that she’s not a “Hamptons Girl” as she’s driving out to spend a fun-filled weekend at the beach. I fell in love with the Hamptons the first time I visited, and I get out to my home there as much as I can. If this makes me a “Hamptons Girl,” I’ll proudly wear the moniker. Carole looked like she fit right in as an “HG,” flirting with the hot Israeli surfer!
I heard Luann is selling her home in Bridgehampton and bought a new one in Sag Harbor. The house in Sag Harbor is beautiful and charming. Summer in the Hamptons absorbs the energy of city dwellers and becomes this magical, fun place where you can enjoy an incredible nightlife, parties galore and beautiful views. The only problem is the heavy traffic and the rude, short tempered people whose expectations didn’t quite meet the amount of money they spent going out there.
I had fun at Sonja’s “Caber-lesque” and I think it’s great that she sold hundreds of tickets to support LGBT youth. Her $12.99 outfit worked pretty well until the “wardrobe malfunction” (you get what you pay for) but this just added to the fun. Sonja’s very brave to throw herself out there like she does, and while parts of her monologue were cringe-inducing in a good way, she made me LAUGH.
You have a very distinct deep throaty laugh.
What’s going on with Aviva’s image consultant “Amanda” and why does she need to bring her everywhere? Seriously, if Aviva’s trying to stay out of trouble, Amanda’s the wrong choice for a wingman. We were there to support Sonja regardless of how we felt about her performance and Amanda’s comments were way out-of-line, especially with people she barely knows! Her blurting out, “That’s what menopause looks like,” was very rude and I say if this is what it looks like, then women shouldn’t be so afraid! Sonja looks great for her age.
It would have been better if you had confronted Amanda about her choice of words during Sonja’s performance instead of inviting her to your party.
When Heather greeted me at Sonja’s show, she purposely avoided Aviva, and maybe that was a smart choice after their most recent interactions. When I said to Aviva that Carole is not a “girls” kind of girl, I meant that sometimes Carole isn’t as supportive of her girlfriends as she should be. A “girls” kind of girl likes to hang out and have fun with her female friends, and she believes in girl-power. I don’t know if Sonja put Aviva next to Carole or if one of her college interns did so without knowing their history.
Oh please! I love Sonja but she was stirring the pot putting Carole next to Aviva.
I planned a summer BBQ for the girls hoping that the laid-back atmosphere of my home would help foster friendships. So it meant a lot to me that Carole apologized, and considering our history, this tete-a-tete was long overdue. After my chat with Carole, I thought the evening was going pretty well. . .then all hell broke loose! Things started getting weird when Sonja and Aviva sealed it with a kiss. . .I’m glad Carole is more of a talker than a kisser!
The kiss seemed forced and overdone. Sonja so wants to be on Aviva’s good side this season. She doesn’t want to set Veevs off.
As the “conversation” became more and more heated, Kristen tried to calm the girls down but she couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and neither could I. As you can see, I tried to deescalate the situation by offering dessert and suggesting that the girls talk it out in different rooms. When it became apparent that nothing in my bag of hostess tricks was going to work, I gave up and poured myself a glass of champagne. Cheers!
I had to laugh out loud when they didn’t follow you like the sheep you thought they were.
Kristen: “All Hell Broke Loose”
Who doesn’t love “Sonja with a Sexy J,” as Heather always says. She is truly just fabulous! Her Caburlesque performance was great. It was. I give her props for getting up there and performing. I sure as hell could not have done that! Could she have been more prepared? Yes, absolutely, but that’s her way of doing things. Her way kinda just works. People love it. She has this way of just pulling it off. She is beautiful and smart and just so damn sexy. How amazing does her body look?! I do think that Sonja could be doing a show like that for a living. Vegas, baby, Vegas. She was born to perform!
I can believe that she wasn’t prepared and I can believe that she pulled it off. As long as people are entertained, that is what matters.
Sonja and her interns. The car battery, bringing her drinks at parties, no hot water in her house in the city? Every time I went over there you couldn’t use the downstairs bathroom because of plumbing issues? I really think she needs to get rid of everyone pay a handyman and pay one great qualified person to come in and manage her. Maybe a professional assistant? But, that’s just me.
Yes, having just one professional assistant probably wouldn’t clog up the plumbing as much as several interns. However if Sonja can’t afford to have hot water in her house and a handyman come fix her plumbing issues then how can she afford to pay a professional assistant?
Amanda Sanders. From the moment I met her I just didn’t get the image consultant thing, right? Please tell me you know what I mean! She was just so rude the night of Sonja’s big show. Classless, and just plain old DRUNK. You get up there, honey, and see how you do! Heather was right. Who the hell keeps inviting her? Oh right. . .Aviva…
Amanda needs an image consultant to tell her to wear a bra and to not get shitfaced at a party. If there was a competition between Kristen and Amanda regarding who got to hold the golden apple, so far I’m glad Kristen won.
Ugh, the night of LuAnn’s barbecue started so great. Lu’s house is just so amazing! It was a beautiful summer night. Lu is such a wonderful host on every level. It was very awkward for us all knowing that both Aviva and Carole were there, but we put that aside and were all having a great time. I was so excited that the two of them were finally going to be in the same room together so they could hopefully hash it out and we could stop with the she said/she said. Then all hell broke loose. I really don’t know what happened. I tried and tried to talk but after a few tries, I just didn’t care anymore. I was ready to go. SOOOO over this #Bookgate.
I loved during the start of that scene Josh was sitting next to you. Then he must have moved when the conversation was getting crazier. He stood next Jon in the doorway just like spectators. They were clearly going to steer clear from the conversation and they were clearly entertained.
Heather: A Lady Has Her Limits
For those of you who don’t know, The Hamptons are beautiful! The beaches there are among some of the most beautiful in the world. The Hamptons have this fabulous and glamorous side, and it is very real. It is like being on the set of a movie with gorgeous mansions and expensive cars everywhere you look, but too much Botox for anyone to take it seriously. I do get a real kick out of it though. I love the Hamptons. I so appreciate the beaches, the beauty, and the local businesses that help to make it great and all of my friends and family who hang out there. If you’ve never been you must put a Hamptons trip on your bucket list.
It is very expensive too. The local businesses make sure to charge city prices for everything. The best time to visit is September and October when it is still warm and the city folk go back to the city and the locals take back the Hamptons.
“Sonja with a Sexy J” is really one of a kind. She is a whole can-of-mess, but I gotta say, she is most lovable. Despite the ups and downs I have had with her, Sonja doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. She never means harm. She’s no dummy either. Sonja knows what’s up and when she realizes she is in for far more than she can handle she mans up and leans on just doing what she loves to do– being her true eccentric self, and she goes for it! That’s what tonight’s LGBT fundraiser is all about after-all, isn’t it?
Sonja was a courageous hot mess. I wonder why she decided to wing it when she had rehearsed with her backup dancers. Is there a vitamin or supplement to help with concentration? I think Sonja should start taking that. She is all over the place with her thoughts, plans and ideas. No amount of interns can keep it straight.
LuLu! I am so happy to see her! It’s been weeks and I am always happy hanging with Lu. She is a true friend of mine, and we always have a good time together. I adore her and Carole both so the situation between them is unfortunate. Especially because they both actually like each other! I just need them to connect on another level but tonight, with the whole Aviva drama, it is not the right moment.
Now that Luann and Carole made up, you guys can be the three amigos.
Right before the act, I notice the terrible seating arrangements and I quickly switch around the placecards that had Aviva and Carole seated together. I felt I was covering for Sonja’s oversight and, with a quick one-two switch, I was acting for the betterment of the entire evening, so we could all sit together and support Sonja on her night. What I didn’t anticipate was Aviva’s image consultant’s loud, obnoxious comments! Sure, it’s easy to criticize the performer from the shadows — but this is for charity and awareness after all, you cow! Aviva’s image consultant’s garish play-by-play commentary of Sonja’s performance was almost surreal. Could someone actually be that rude? (Oh! Just you wait!!) All I am thinking is “Who is this woman who keeps coming around with her opinions and her nose turned up and boobs hanging down!” Ugh! She is just so annoying and now she’s just plain rude.
Amanda was probably sitting there thinking “You know what this performance needs? My annoying, stupid voice.”
LuAnn persuades me to brush it off and we get to dancing. . .even joining Sonja on stage! In the end, we had a lot of belly laughs, the night was a success for LGBT and we know how to bring the fun wherever we go!
I saw some pictures of the event. You guys were having a blast.
But now, what the hell is Harry doing lunching with his ex-wife on a set up? Oh! What Harry Dubin does so well. . .women! Ya gotta love Harry, but his date, not so much.
It seemed like Harry was set up to be Amanda’s date so he can be at Luann’s while Jacques is away. I wonder if production was thinking along that storyline to have the ex possibly causing trouble with Luann and Jacques.
Why can’t I remember her name? Oy! Whoever she is, she’s here again and now I can see among other things she’s also completely two-faced sucking up to Sonja after talking so terribly behind her back! Ugh, it doesn’t matter. . .We have bigger fish to fry. Sonja and Lu think it is time for a Carole and Aviva sitdown and are hoping for a quickie makeup. Not a good idea. Lu doesn’t at all understand what Aviva did to Carole with her ridiculous representations and false accusations. It was beyond the pale. . .not something you can simply brush under the carpet and there are some real issues here. Sonja should know better! She knows the sting all too well. Sonja knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of an Aviva rant and it’s never simple.
I heard even Aviva wants to pretend she is not friends with what’s her name.
Carole is a true author and the process of writing for her is very personal. She is an artist. Aviva not only made the entire field of writing, journalism, and publishing seem like a joke with her “long email” descriptions and the “word on the street” stories in her head, but she also cast doubt on a dear friend’s career with lies. I have a personal problem with these things. I am seeing a pattern that is glaringly obvious and not so pretty in someone I called a friend and I am no sitting duck.
I guess you would have been next. She is already calling your product imitation Spanx.
However, I am not going to threaten Aviva over it. Nor did I. I am honest with Aviva about how I feel about what she’s done. It’s not an “icy reception” and I’m not playing games. I am not feeling you Aviva! I am upset by your behavior and it’s not getting any better with this image consultant of yours constantly flanking you and flapping her jaw. I’ve about had it with this bulls— behavior of Aviva’s and she wants to know why? So I am trying to tell her and trying to hold composure but even a lady (who says f— a lot), has her limits. . .
Hey girl this is housewives. You’re not supposed to care about your composure. You need to bring it. Unfortunately I think Aviva is too self-centered to understand or care.