Real Housewives Of New York S6E4
Cast Blogs by Ramonacoaster
Sonja: I Don’t Think I Am Dita Von Teese
I can’t believe the very same young artists that I put together for this Sonja In the City event for are laughing about me behind my back? I came from all the way uptown in the rain to meet them at their studio. It’s not my first time at the rodeo kids. I have my priorities! Even though I have so much on my plate, I still do a lot of charity work. It keeps me balanced, grateful for all I have and I enjoy it.
The choreographer and your gay friend were throwing some shade your way after you showed up an hour late. If you don’t respect their time, they won’t respect you.
Carole has always been a supporter of the arts, and has told me several times I could star in a one-woman show on off-Broadway, so I know her comments must have been for drama. She knows I don’t think I am Dita Von Teese. Who does? I do a soft burlesque and do NOT take off my clothes. I don’t have the skill to warrant that. LOL.
She was doing a play on words Dita Von Tease. I think her comments sounded a lot better than Amanda’s.
I love to throw themed and costumed parties. I enjoy the anticipation of what everyone else will wear. The girls really turned it out and created fantasy. They were soooo gorgeous and fun. Amanda was rude to say the vodka was cheap. It’s a charity, and the alcohol is donated. We were lucky to have alcohol after the first sponsor dropped out! She was a guest of Aviva and should be grateful. Amanda says Harry didn’t recognize her not naked. . .that was hilarious! She does a gorgeous face — but she is like a bat out of hell.
Despite the complaints, Amanda was still downing the stuff. In these economically tough times, a girl has to do what a girl has to do… to find a cheap way to get drunk.
Heather is loyal to Carole and has stood by me. So now she says that Amanda is two-faced to me, I will have to give that some thought.
I’m sure there were more comments coming from Amanda regarding your performance that you didn’t hear.
I’m so happy to see Carole taking the high road apologizing to Lu and I was esctatic that they danced and let loose at my charity event because Lu is a lot fun when it’s just us girls.
It was very nice of Carole to apologize and make nice with Luann. It is better to only have one enemy amongst a group of women instead of two.
Heather has a point about character assassination but the argument is between Carole and Aviva, and Heather’s hot head does seem to be escalating this a bit. If LuAnn thinks she can put us all back in our cabinets like in Morocco she is dreaming. Too funny. Guuurrrls to the kitchen. Right!
She is like the resident assistant at a dorm who is trying to clear out a crowded college party and no one is listening. The partiers just look at her and keep drinking.
This evening gets so intense. Amanda comes in like she is oblivious to our friendships and says she is going to deck Heather. Anyone with any respect knows you can’t say that!
Luann must have served her more cheap liquor. If only alcohol could make someone funnier, smarter and a better dancer.
Then we see a preview of Aviva going back to where her accident happened. You have to respect the fact she is going back there. Whatever is really going on between her and Carole, you have to respect the fact that she wrote this book (or didn’t write this book) and got it published. Kudos! She told her story. She shared it.
The book isn’t the problem; it’s how she is trying to publicize it. Stirring up some stupid drama to garner attention is not ethical.
Carole: You Can Lead a Horticulture But You Can’t Make her Think
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a delusional Housewife in possession of an audience must be in want of a ludicrous storyline. Fine, I’m mixing Parker and Austen. I do it because I can.
I love P&P.
Is it just me or does anyone else think Aviva is the most boring person on Earth? She’s not at Sonja’s event five minutes before her dull story erupts, again. Carole was mean to me, Carole isn’t nice. Carole blah blah, blah-dee-blah. She’ll tell anyone in her sight range. Poor LuAnn is, unfortunately, contracted to listen.
That’s funny. Luann should not have even bothered to sign a contract if it meant listening to that crap and then to be only a friend of the housewives. All the drama with less cash.
So OK, let’s get this straight. In Aviva’s “bloodbath” with “Princess Carole,” Princess Carole apparently called her the following: Bitch, Psychopath, Liar, Bad Mother, plus three more she won’t name. Notice how she starts her story in the middle, after all her insults are neatly out of the way.
She conveniently left out the beginning part.
Can we play a “Where’s Waldo” with Aviva’s lies? I’ll send a book to the first person who spots one in each scene. I think that might be fun, though I might not have enough books.
Here’s one in this scene, to start: I have never called Aviva a bad mother. Ever. I have also never badmouthed Vivvy’s book, by the way. (Though she feels very comfortable trashing mine). In Viv’s head people lounge around on sofas and talk about her obsessively all day, like she does about them. But in the normal world, where real people live, they don’t. They’re busy with their lives. Do you want to know how much time I’ve spent thinking about Aviva Drescher’s parenting skills? Zero. Why would I care? I don’t. You saw the fight. Maybe her meds cause short-term memory loss? I said, “I would never talk about your parenting the way you just talked about my career.” She forgets this is all on tape.
V.D. continues to show viewers what I caught onto after last season wrapped — she is only nice person if you are going along with her agenda. She proves it again and again. Heather’s in her sights next. Then Kristen.
By the way, here is what I called her, both behind her back and in front of it. I’d like to keep it straight: Liar, Phony, Bitch, Sick person, Mean nasty insulting bitch, Psychopath, Phony (again), Sociopath, Liar (again), Phony (again) Self-centered, Self-absorbed, Snobby, Stuck-up ill-mannered Jerk.
The redundancy is a little sloppy of me, but I’m OK with it. And I might want to add, so don’t go anywhere.
You saw, in this episode, that they found me out! I’m not a girl’s girl. In each city of this franchise there’s always someone exposed as not being a girl’s kind of girl. You can be called a crack addict, an alcoholic or white trash, you can sleep with anyone’s brother or husband or dog, but if you are outed as not being a girl’s girl, you’re in deep s—. News flash: A girl’s girl doesn’t try to shame another girl about her age. A girl’s girl doesn’t trash another girl’s career. A girl’s girl doesn’t Velcro herself to her husband, or make snarky comments about another girlfriend who’s performing for 500 people to raise money for a great cause, or bore roomfuls of people with slanderous insults about another girl. So let’s not get it twisted.
Manda-Mindo (or whatever her name is) and Viv were rude during Sonja’s show. Typical. So add that to my list: Rude. Aviva and Mindy-Man making snarky menopause jokes about Sonja is immature, and rude. If that’s their version of girl’s girls, they can have it. They can stumble off with their plastic cups of booze holding hands into their little girl’s girl sunset.
So now we’ve gone through Phases 1 and 2 of the Aviva-Mojita Drescher Playbook:
1. Ingratiate yourself with someone, anyone.
2. Insult them in abhorrent ways.
And. . .you know what I’m going to say next. . .
3. Pretend you’re the victim. Cry that no one supports you enough, or makes enough glitter or banners, or arranges their life around you, or makes toasts.
Aviva will not shut up about this. She flaps her arms and recaps her increasingly drunken version of her latest victimization to anyone who will listen. Which, thankfully, is fewer and fewer people. She thinks I’m “playing chess” with “a couple of different players.” Tell me, does she ever make sense? First she steals from Kelly Bensimon and now she’s stealing her lines from half the Housewives of RHOBH. This girl couldn’t get her own material if a whole village of villagers were throwing it in her face. But more importantly, this is exactly what you think when you’re a person who looks at everything as an opportunity to manipulate and scheme.
Vivvy-vu, seriously. Please. Move. On. By the way, does her voice grate on your nerves? Did I already say that?
I loved the classy lunch, with the new Dreschers, the old Dubins and the, ahem, “Image Consultant” who pulls her dress up for Harry. “I’ll show you my unwrapped package, right here right now under the table, if you show me yours.” Maybe Viv’s “Image Consultant” needs an image consultant. Or a longer skirt.
P.S. Is it really confusing why Vivvy married Harry?
Sonja figured everything out! God bless that nutty girl. Oh, the intellectual wonders of Jack Daniels. So all I had to do was toast Vivvy. I didn’t even need to give her a party with banners, just one little toast at lunch and we’d all be best drunk friends. Why wasn’t I ordering shots? Instead, I mistakenly assumed we were having an honest conversation — my bad — and I’m guessing I didn’t deserve a toast for my accomplishments either because what I got was insults, slander, and finger-wagging.
These scenes are all taped. So, you know, people can see them. Which means everyone knows that I didn’t call Vivs a “bad mother” and that Heather didn’t threaten her or tell her to “watch your back.” I think she repeats the voices she hears in her head and then is simply shocked when we don’t go along with it. I don’t really care whether Vivi’s good, bad or boring, at anything. Snooze.
At LuAnn’s, here we go again. Oh my God. Girls! You’re circling the drain. I sincerely apologize to all of you for the excruciating boredom of this scene, this topic, and Vivvy Drescher herself. As you’ve learned already, writing is not interesting to talk about and Vivs literally can’t stop talking about it! Talking about writing. Isn’t it ironic? I wonder if there will be even one frame of video this season, actually showing her writing, or even anything closely related to it. Like maybe meeting with her “Village,” or her “million hands,” her “team,” her “committee,” her PR person, her Publishing House, anything? Do you get the feeling that maybe she talked this book? Because if talking were writing, the chick would be J.K. Rowling.
Let me put this in simpler words, and borrow a quote from my favorite Caburlesque star (about Aviva from last season): “The woman didn’t split the atom.”
She got on a reality show, she signed a book deal, she hired a ghostwriter. This is something many reality stars before her have done quite successfully, and many after her will do. I will say this one last time: when she told me about the book I congratulated her, then when she asked for my help to find a writer, I did. I helped. It wasn’t a parade or a banner or ticker tape, true. I’m sure I forgot to tell her repeatedly how unbelievably amazing she is just by being the fascinating truly amazing and incredible marvel that she is.
What does Amana-banana the drunk think? Hmm. What is she even saying? Who the hell is she, by the way? Why is she always duct-taped to Aviva’s other side?
I didn’t badmouth Aviva’s book, she badmouthed mine (again just last week!) I’ve never bad-mouthed her book. I didn’t pal around with a gin-soaked, raspy-voiced Image Consultant to help me cut down my colleagues, either. She did.
That said, I do kind of admire her “career” strategy. I might try it. I spent this past weekend in North Carolina writing a piece about Nascar, and drove a race car. You know what that makes me? You guessed it! A Nascar driver!
Next week I’m singing an aria at Joe’s Pub. I don’t know which one, I don’t even know what one is, but I’ll sing it and be an opera star. It’s not rocket science, right? Hey, do you brush your teeth? I bet you do, and I bet you also floss. So let’s get it on the record right now, lovelies — we’re all dentists.
I have to go now, I need to buy more paper for my resume.
I didn’t need to add anything more to Carole’s ripfest of Adiva. She said it all and then some. I really enjoy reading Carole’s blogs. She spends a lot of time interjecting them with humor and snark.
Ramona wrote a blog about her family trip to Africa and there is a really cool video. They stayed in what looked like a hut but when you walked inside – it was really high class digs. That is how you do a vacation.
New episode tonight!
“Everybody Thinks We’re Drag Queens”
A rare honor is bestowed upon Carole at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, which leads to Carole, Kristen, Sonja, LuAnn and Heather cavorting around the boardwalk dressed as sea-going drag queens. Meanwhile, Aviva and Reid head Upstate to see if Aviva can face her biggest fear — the very machine that took her leg when she was a child.