Real Housewives Of Orange County
S9E2 “Meet And Potatoes”
Welcome back… Last week we left Vicki positively speechless (I know, shocking, right?) when Heather and Tamra started grilling her about her current relationship status with Brooks during dinner on their last night in Hawaii. It’s too bad that Vicki’s “Brooks” has ruined everyone whose name is “Brooks” for me… That includes Mel Brooks, Albert Brooks, Garth Brooks, and Brooke Burke. Heck, now I even look askance at “babbling brooks” these days.
Vicki insists that Brooks is helping to make her happy (gag). She explains that she and Brooks went to counseling separately. I guess somehow that means that they should be dating. Brooks has told Vicki that she is worth fighting for… In my opinion, this feeds into Vicki’s romanticized notion of love wherein a man on a white horse rides in and fights heroically for her hand in marriage. I am all for Vicki dating whomever she wants to date – regardless of what her adult daughter or this blogger thinks. However, I have not seen much evidence of Brooks respecting Vicki or her family. He is just too danged slickery for me. But fortunately, I don’t ever have to date him… Whew… (shivers).
In her talking head, Tamra bravely says that Vicki is just out to prove everyone wrong about Brooks… But to Vicki’s face, Tamra’s all about giving Brooks another chance. Vicki explains she wants to take her relationship with Brooks to another level – Which to Vicki means moving in together. They talk about what this would mean to Vicki’s very disapproving daughter Briana (who is probably moving to Oklahoma, if you didn’t read last week’s musical production notes). It’s becoming more and more clear to me that Vicki just wants someone to play with… And Brooks fits that need at the moment. On a side note, may I say that Vicki looks absolutely fabulous… Her hair, her face… I think even her dimples are smiling these days.
Shannon’s kids are going to cotillion classes. Honestly, I didn’t even know they still had this kind of thing here in Southern California. For those of us who have blue collars, Shannon explains that “cotillion” is a class on etiquette, manners, and dance. This means the girls have to wear pantyhose and gloves. David, Shannon’s husband, who also happens to have a blue collar, had never heard of it before… His daughter politely explained that perhaps it’s because he doesn’t have good manners. I’m sure she said it with her pinky properly extended. Shannon takes this opportunity to tell us that she’s cranky with her husband because she doesn’t get to spend much time with him and she feels disconnected from him. I think Shannon has a problem with over-sharing.
Tamra wants Eddie to hang curtains with a gigantic power tool. Okay, it’s only an electric screwdriver, but still… Not sure if it’s just me – but Eddie seemed very inept with this electric screwdriver. He seemed so ill at ease to me that I’m not sure I’d even let him around an electric toothbrush. I would have thought he would have been used to things that vibrate in his hand, but that’s a whole nuther Oprah.
Since her kids are with her ex-husband Simon for Halloween, Tamra tells Eddie that she wants to invite the witches in her life over for a “Spooky Party.” She doesn’t want it to be a “costumey” kind of party – but instead she wants it to be scary. Eddie does not want her to have an Ouija board but Tamra thinks it would be a good idea. Gee, I wonder who is going to win this battle?
Tamra really misses her kids because she only sees them 50% of the time. Although Eddie is content with their family exactly how it is right now, Tamra really wants to consider having a baby with Eddie. Since Tamra has had her tubes tied, they would have to explore other ways to have children… For example, through a surrogate or through an adoption. It’s hard for Tamra to think that she and Eddie are a family when her kids aren’t around. I know a lot of single people and childless couples who wrestle with the concept of being a family that doesn’t include kids. Many consider this to be a huge hole in their lives and they agonize over it every single day.
On one hand, I can totally understand how a mom would deeply miss her children if she only got to see them 50% of the time. On the other hand, Tamra just spent last week’s episode complaining about how busy her life is (with the opening of their fitness studio) – So when would Tamra have time for the kids 100% of the time? I suspect Tamra doesn’t want to work at the fitness studio anymore…lol… In other news, in the “I’m surprised she has okay taste” portion of our program, Tamra has little by little modified she and Eddie’s home to reflect her feminine tastes. The once dark and dreary bachelor pad is now light and airy. Who knew Tamra had good taste? I really didn’t look that closely… but the overall look is much better, IPPHO.
Vicki comes to the “Spooky Party” early so she and Tamra can get the appropriate spooky make-up treatment – Except that Vicki does not want to be scary – She wants to be, “cute.” I don’t blame her – She paid a lot of money for that face. Tamra breaks the news to Vicki that Heather is bringing a “friend” to the party with her. “Welcome Wagon Vicki” snottily retorts, “Oh joy, another new b*** I’ve got to like.” That’s got to be the quote of the night, no?
Vicki always takes hold of teachable moments so she can impart her words of wisdom in our general direction. In her talking head, Vicki instructs us that there are absolutely, positively 3 things she always lives by when she meets new people. These are must haves – and if you’re found lacking, you’re just out of luck as far as Vicki is concerned. Okay, get out your “Hello Kitty” notepads and purple pens because you’re gonna want to write these down. Vicki says the 3 things that she lives by when she meets new people are as follows and I quote, “You have to make me laugh, I have to learn from you, and… and… and… ummm… ummm…” <Zap…zap… bzzzzzzz…. nothing…> Wow, it’s so pivotal to life itself that Vicki can’t even remember the third thing she always lives by… I’m completely dying laughing because that’s so something I would totally do, too… lol. I’d probably remember the 3rd thing at 2:19 AM after waking up from a deep sleep!
It’s the night of the “Spooky Party.” Her Royal Heatherness is bringing new girl Shannon to meet all the other housewife witches. Shannon will no doubt be quickly volunteered to be the “human sacrifice” should one be necessary during the course of the evening. Her Royal Heatherness’ “Zit Tip” of the night: If you have a huge blemish on your forehead and if you’re going to a spooky party – Just plop a 3rd eye right over it and no one will ever know the difference. Except of course if you tell everyone, because then people will just keep staring at your 3rd eye to see if they can actually see the outline of the zit in question. I know I did… lol.
In yet another rookie mistake, “Over-sharing Shannon” criticizes the quality of the food at the “Spooky Party.” While “Over-sharing Shannon” likes the creative presentation of food at this “Spooky Party” – She complains that there is nothing really of substance to eat. She notes that a blob of marshmallow really isn’t dinner, and neither are a couple of pieces of watermelon. “Over-sharing Shannon” doesn’t yet understand that housewives rarely eat while filming… but she will learn…
Shock of all shocks… Vicki seems to really hit it off with Shannon especially when she finds out that Shannon is also an Aries! They all start talking about their recent trip to Hawaii when “Over-sharing Shannon” turns the conversation towards the brontosaurus-sized bone she has to pick about her husband. “Over-sharing Shannon” is cranky that her husband prioritizes vacations with the guys a couple of times a year over the two of them going away for some husband and wife alone time together. Evidently, in their entire 13 years of marriage, they’ve never gone away on a trip alone… Whoa… What’s up with that? It was suggested that Shannon plan a trip… But Shannon insists that she needs to see the effort made on her husband’s part… Okay, well, so Shannon, how’s that working for ya?
Okay, at the risk of making everyone mad at me… It just drives me crazy when someone demands that their spouse jump through hoop after hoop to just make them happy. If Shannon wants to go on a trip with her husband – She should tell him she wants to plan a trip with him and that he’s responsible to make dinner reservations for a couple of nights or perhaps he picks the hotel or something. Granted, David should have recognized by now that this is important to his wife and he should have stepped up to plan something. I mean, it’s just so danged easy to get away here – Within a 2 hour driving radius you can easily be in a cabin in the mountains, at a beachside resort, down in San Diego, up in Los Angeles, or in the apple orchards of Julian, etc… This should not be a hard thing to do. However, to be fair – from what I’ve seen thus far about Shannon, I’m not sure that any plans that David makes would be good enough for her… Shannon would like us to believe she is so danged down to earth… but then I quickly remember that she actually sends her daughters to cotillion classes. Sorry, I don’t buy it…
Oh goodie, Shannon is reprimanding her husband again. Evidently, there is a feng shui law that requires they maintain 9 lemons in a basket for good energy at all times. And horror of all horrors, you guessed it, hubster wanted to use one of the lemons. Silly, silly him… Wait… whose job is it to make sure they have enough lemons in the house? It can’t be his job, can it? Where is YoYo when you need her and her lemons?
Shannon tells David she wants to have her new friends over for dinner. She wants to make everything herself instead of calling a caterer. I think that’s kind of kewl. Shannon has decided that David will have to cook his famous beef dish. David isn’t sure about Shannon’s choice of menu because he thinks that meat is a very heavy meal. They bicker back and forth about this. Do any of us really think that David is going to win this particular battle?
Heather, Tamra and Shannon meet for dinner. Shannon invites the women to a dinner party at her house… Her Royal Heatherness and Tamra really don’t know what to make of Shannon. Shannon tells them that she has jewels placed inside her teeth because gems can heal. Yes folks, Shannon actually feng shui’ed her mouth. The holistic dentist who recommended this treatment told her it would cost $20,000. Shannon balked at the price. The dentist, “consulted his psychic network of friends” (I kid you not) and found out that in one of Shannon’s former lives that she had “saved a nation” and he would therefore be honored to provide the work for free. Okay, raise your hand if you thought of “Miss Cleo” or “Dionne Warwick” when you read, “psychic network of friends.”…lol…
Heather tries to tell Shannon that she is concerned that, “People like you” who are very trusting, holistic and open – May get taken advantage of by others. Tamra doesn’t think you should ever say, “People like you” and she knows very well that if someone had used that same terminology towards Heather that she would have flipped a fig. So in case you’ve missed one of the major storylines this season, it’s that Her Royal Heatherness is up “here” and everyone else is down “there.” Sighs… Can’t this franchise come up with different words to describe the same thing? I hate it when we quote Kelly Bensimon of RHONYC. Satchels of gold.
In a quirky, funny way Shannon recognizes that she’s a walking contradiction. She wants to create the most healthy, non-toxic environment that she can for herself and her family… And yet she drives an Escalade. She wants to be healthy… Yet she doesn’t exercise. Laughingly, she says she knows she doesn’t make sense and she wishes she could figure herself out.
Tamra tells the others that she and Eddie are talking about having a child together. Heather asks her what Eddie thinks. Tamra says that Eddie is content with their current situation. Tamra tells them that she only gets to see her kids 50% of the time at this point (Like almost every other divorced parent). Heather asks if that’s why she’s pushing Eddie in the direction of having more kids. Tamra breaks down crying and says she wants a baby that would be hers and Eddie’s. Tamra doesn’t want to be a part-time mom. Heather thinks that Tamra may want to have another baby because she thinks it will somehow fill the void of the other 50% of the time when she doesn’t have her children around her. Heather seems to feel it might be a replacement for what Tamra’s lost through the divorce. Shannon thinks Her Royal Heatherness has an awful lot of opinions and little red flags are springing up everywhere for her regarding Heather.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve glossed over a couple of scenes involving Vicki. One of them is centered around Vicki’s obnoxious adult son, Michael who is basically walking around the house brushing his teeth and criticizing Vicki. For those who care, Michael has moved to San Diego and can telecommute to work. I hear it’s because he is the son of the boss…lol. It doesn’t seem like Vicki has ever visited him in San Digo – I’m guessing he won’t give her the address – like when he lived in Balboa. The other scene is of an individual counseling session wherein Vicki talks about Briana and Brooks yet again. Ugh. The counselor says that Vicki has allowed Briana to have a lot of control over her life. The counselor wants everyone to be responsible for their own thoughts and feelings. He tells Vicki she should allow Briana to have her own thoughts and feelings… and that Vicki should maintain her own thoughts and feelings as well.
Oh goodie, I was wondering why we hadn’t had another scene of “Over-sharing Sharon” criticizing her husband for a whole 10 minutes. Evidently, it was David’s job to pick-up wine for the dinner that evening. He meant to get 4 bottles of red and 4 bottles of white wine. However, when he was at the store, he was only given 2 bottles of wine. When he tried to text and to call Shannon, she evidently didn’t answer because she had so much other stuff going on. He actually comes home with only 2 bottles of wine. Shannon flipped out because what if everyone wants wine? She demands that he go back to the store. By now, we’ve all seen this humungous home – How can they NOT have a wine cellar downstairs? Or at the very least – a place to keep several bottles at a time? I cannot believe that they only have the 2 bottles of wine in the entire house… However, perhaps wine bottles are fung shui-challenged. Actually, I think this entire house is fung shui-challenged no matter how many crystals were originally buried when they poured the foundation for this home. I don’t know about you, but I’ve not seen too much evidence of peace and harmony. Can you imagine how bad it would be if there weren’t crystals in the foundation of the house and in Shannon’s teeth?
Rut roh, there’s no fuel for the torch so that they can torch the crème brûlées. I guess that was David’s job, too. Oh no, the potatoes aren’t done either – They’re still crunchy. I’m sure that’s David’s fault, too. While her guests are fending for themselves out in the living room, holistic, down to earth Shannon is busy zapping the heck out of the potatoes in the ever healthful microwave oven. Oh no, now they can’t find the carving knife for the beef. Turn around David, Shannon probably stuck it in your back.
Meanwhile, the living room crowd are amusing themselves with nice stories and platitudes. Heather and Terry talk about their darling 3 year-old (Collette) whom they affectionately call “Cocoa Bean.” Terry launches into a story about how “Cocoa Bean” is “so mean” to him when he comes home from work. If he kisses her on the head, she runs off and screams to mommy about it. You just know that Tamra is giving Terry the evil eye from across the room because Eddie is sitting there listening to all of this. I’m sure Tamra wants to kick Terry in the shins because this is certainly not helping persuade Eddie into entertaining the idea of having a child.
And I bet you thought I forgot… but in this week’s edition of “I Kid You Not”… Terry, when referring to his darling 3 year-old daughter, actually said, “She’s such a b***.” I kid you not! So riddle me this… At what age is it EVER appropriate to call your own daughter a b***? I’m guessing 3 is a little young… Is it 13? 23? I just can’t believe he did that… Can you imagine the taunting Collette’s going to get by the other kids in the family, “Daddy called you a b*** on national TV….. hahahahahaha!” What was he thinking? It just boggles my mind…
The guests are trying to talk loud enough so they don’t hear the bickering that’s going on in the kitchen. As David and Shannon join their guests, David said he was told that a Sagittarius can’t ever please an Aries. He said that simple truth explained so much to him – He said it was like an awakening, “Right, Shannon?” Over-sharing Shannon, dryly responds, “Apparently… Because you won’t let it go….” Vicki seemed to get shivers because this whole evening reminded Vicki of what life was like when she was married to Don… Vicki is concerned for Shannon and David because if they are saying these kinds of things in front of people they barely know – What must they be saying to each other behind closed doors?
Well, that closes the door on this week’s episode. See ya next week!
Dancing with the Stars S18E6
Scores from last week:
This week is Party Anthem week. Guest judge is Redfoo from LMFAO. NeNe and Tony are declared safe and they will dance first. They dance a Salsa to the song It’s Getting Hot in Here by Nelly. Len tells NeNe to work more on her technique if she wants to go further. Score: 33.
James and Peta are declared safe for this week. Candace and Mark are in jeopardy for the second time.
Candace and Mark danced a Cha Cha to I Love It by Iconic Pop. I thought that was her best dance so far. Score: 32 Will she make it past this week?
James and Peta did the Quick Step to You’re the One that I Want from Grease. Len didn’t like James’ technique this time. Score: 35
Merrill and Maks are safe and Danica and Val are in jeopardy (what!!!).
Danica and Val danced the Cha Cha to I Just Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston. Len called the best dance of the night thus far. Score: 36 She definitely doesn’t deserve to go home but the results are not always fair.
Merrill and Maks danced the Tango to I Feel So Close to You Right Now by Calvin Harris. I.Loved.It. even though I didn’t think it was fair for Merrill or Charlie to be competing. It was great! Score: 40
Drew and Cheryl Tangoed to Super Freak by Rick James. I don’t think Cheryl and Drew have really clicked this season. Score: 32
Charlie and Sharna Cha Cha to Everybody Dance Now by C & C Music Factory. The judges liked it. Score: 36
Amy and Derek danced a Jive to Shout by the Isley Brothers. Amy continues to amaze. So fun and Derek is a great choreographer. Score: 38
Drew and Cheryl are in jeopardy, which means Amy and Derek and Charlie and Sharna are safe.
So which former sitcom star went home this week – Candace, Danica or Drew? I hate to see any of the three go, but it was Drew who was eliminated this week. I think the right person was voted off even though I like him. He had the best attitude.
Totals for this week:
Drew: 32 (Eliminated this Week)
Next week is Latin night with Ricky Martin as guest judge.
Happy Birthday AZGirl