Brandi Glanville Podcasts 23 & 24
Guest Mark McGrath, former pop star, Extra co-host. Fresh from Celebrity Apprentice, Brandi lets Mark know she, through the Official Brandi Network of Everyone in the Universe, knows a lot about him because she knew people close to him back in the day. They talk about the rather odd career move Mark made by going from pop singer to TV show host. Brandi talks about “a TV show” they both did, aka, Celebrity Apprentice. Brandi says of the experience, “it was the craziest shit I’ve ever gone through in my LIFE” (craziest thing she’s ever done? Now that’s saying a lot. A lot).
Mark says that the show is hard work. Hard mental work. Brandi says it was “a mind fuck” and that she’s so happy to be home. Mark and Brandi lament the hordes who come to LA to be stars but don’t want to do any work and rely on their good looks to get them fame (Brandi did it the REALLY hard way, y’all, capitalizing on her husband banging another chick). Mark kisses Brandi’s butt and tells her how so successful and awesome she is. Brandi mentions she is currently homeless (using the Brandi decoder ring for her serial exaggerating: she’s in a new, smaller rental).
They get back to CA and, talk about how hard it is to ask people for money. Brandi says she got people to give her money every time and suggests she even hit up Eddie. Brandi talks about how ridiculous it is when some of the D list celebs on the show act like divas with massive egos and wants to remind them they haven’t been on TV in 20 years. Says they’d treat the crew and everyone like shit. She said she only went off on one person during the show—a man! (Wah? So I guess it wasn’t Kenya as the tabs reported.) Also says she could tell who had had kids and those who did not because having kids makes you selfless and patient (A huh. Cause when I think patient and selfless, I think Brandi G.)
Guest: Taylor Locke, Guitarist/songwriter, Rooney bandmember. Taylor is too soft spoken, according to Brandi, who suggests he take an Adderall (Nice. She’s trying to get someone to take drugs because they aren’t loud enough? (is that the patient or the selfless part of Brandi, I wonder?) Rooney had some success in Europe but not in the US so Taylor is now in a Fleetwood Mac cover band. He’s Lindsey Buckingham. Brandi says she has a ‘porn voice’ she likes to use in Karaoke. Poor Taylor isn’t prepared for Brandi’s immaturity. I feel sorry for him. Out of nowhere Brandi asks him how often he has sex. “Oh, god”, he says before trying to be a good sport and answer the question.
Brandi’s desperately trying to be shocking, provocative and failing. At this point her raunchiness is so boring.Taylor, giving her a dose of her own medicine points out that she’s not wearing a bra. Brandi starts talking about her nipples and how an old lady looked at her disapprovingly at the grocery store because of them. Taylor points out that both of Brandi’s nipples are exposed through her shirt. Brandi says that they’re hard and says that her producer keeps it cold in the studio so they’ll stay that way (someone kill me). Brandi doesn’t like squirrels, who she refers to as rats with bushy tails. Or birds (a lack of visible nipples, perhaps?) Brandi says she has a real issue with people who dress their animals. Brandi’s ex BF hated animals and couldn’t stand Brandi’s two dogs.
Brandi is snippy to Taylor at one point and she apologizes for being so aggressive and says she’s really angry today. She has a lot on her plate, she explains. But, her bitchiness continues and things get downright weirdly contentious after he performs a song in studio. In an attempt to compliment him, she says, “You’re actually a really good singer” (yo, note to patient selfless Brandi: drop the “actually” if you want a compliment to be taken seriously). Brandi says that he did really well and that she’s proud of him. Proud. Apparently, he’d had enough with the proud comment and he points out that she had nothing to do with his performance (oh, hell no!).
Brandi then says she does have something to do with it because he’s here on her show singing it. He says, yes, he’s here in her “nipple room”. Turning up her bitchiness even further, Brandi then says he has a very high voice, like a girl. She then makes fun of his body, saying he could use a hamburger. He, having already mentioned he’s a vegetarian, says he’s “not interested in fucking hamburgers”. He says he’s naturally thin but Brandi is skeptical. Brandi wants to know if he starves himself to stay so skinny. He points out that Brandi is thin and she claims genetics. So, he wants to know, why is she giving him crap about being thin. Brandi says because he’s a guy (huh?).
Talk turns to her boobs again and Brandi says that she got implants to feel better about her body after having kids. She says she’s a very visual person she has to turn herself on before she can turn someone else on. Taylor says that if Dr. Drew were there, he’d say that Brandi has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (lol! Go Taylor!). Brandi reveals she didn’t have sex for 6 weeks while doing CA in New York. Brandi ends things on two of her favorites-infantile and stupid-when, after she thanks him for coming, asks him if he came. I’ll speak for Taylor and say no, no he didn’t.