Welcome back, Racefans and non racefans alike. Today is the last of these from me for the season. This crapfest ends with the usual 3 teams ‘racing’ to that final mat for the million dollar prize. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas unless it’s filmed for a television show. That’s where they’re going, departing the UK on the same plane from Heathrow airport. We didn’t get to see it but apparently Brenchel doesn’t think the blondes are so cute and there was a shouting scuffle on the plane ride over. You all know me by now, I don’t think those two vacuous can do anything for themselves women belong there. You also know that I cannot stand people who go on these shows complaining out of one side of their mouths that their current state in their lives (age) is a handicap when it suits them out of one side of their mouths and out of the other, it’s something to be celebrated. Make up your mind, Depends Dave. Then we have Brenchel. This annoying pair has infected my television screen since the one and only season of Big Brother (13) I have ever watched. Really CBS, How many times can we recycle these people on these shows? Well, let’s stagger through this one more time..
Teams land in Vegas and each is supposed to ‘go for a ride’ in a Ford Explorer.. Can’t have an episode without a Ford advertisement now, can we? Does anyone remember the movie Wayne’s World during Garth’s dream sequence with all the blatant product placement? This show is reminding me of that at times. So teams are driven out to the desert, given shovels, and told to dig. Brenchel is a little too over zealous with their digging for Depends Dave and Conner Pampers so they tell Brenchel to knock it off. Rachel reminds them this is a race so just suck it up. They all dig down far enough to uncover a locked wooden box that is the property of David Copperfield. Teams are to open the box and bring the contents back to the parking lot where they began.
Once there, they individually, meet up with David Copperfield for their roadblock. He asks them for the keys. Only Brenchel followed the instructions to bring the contents of the box they dug up, the others, brought the box, not having opened it. That is rectified quickly. The contents is a ring of 50 keys. One from each team will be the subject of an escape gag.. They will be shackled inside of a box. One of the keys on that ring will fit the locks on the shackles.. Once they are free from the shackles (handcuffs), they are given a lock pick kit that they have to use to pick another lock. The gag here is, while they are doing that, the box is set on fire and they are then dropped on to another fire, destroying the crate they are in after their team mate flips a bunch of switches, apparently causing the box to drop. While they stand their all scared that they’ve killed their partner, partner pops up behind them in a fireman’s suit. The great escape. They are given their next clue. Route info.
The info tells teams to go to the neon grave yard and search for the next clue. Somehow, Brenchel wound up with the most lethargic cab driver in Las Vegas to get around Vegas. Their race is over here but they do complete it. At one point, they even tried to steal one of the other cabs, the Blondes cab I think. Anyway, the clue they find tells them to get a light bulb from the silver and red question mark sign and with it, they are supposed to go to the entrance at the Mirage. Rachel use to work there so this should be easy breezy for her. Problem is that pesky cab driver who seemed to insist on driving 10mph below the speed limit, wasn’t completely sure where she was going it seemed, and got caught at every red light.. Needless to say, they are the last to arrive at the M*rage and at this point, Brendon has decided to lead. That means he’s once again decided not to follow directions. Meanwhile, Depends and the Blondes have found that clue box, and are working the task. On all 3 wings, the bulbs on the *I* have been removed from the sign on top. The task is to ride a window washer scaffold up there, and put the bulbs back in, and count the number of bulbs. By the time Brendon decides to listen to his wife through his preaching at her about how to run the race, the other two teams have nearly completed this task. Dammit.. BTW, there are 241 bulbs in the letter I at the Mirage.
The next clue tells them to go to Maverick Helicopters in Henderson. Once there they encounter another roadblock. One from each team is going to skydive, 10000 feet, at a location they must spot, while in the air, and their partner will meet them there. Anyone watching the show, noting the time, will know this is the final task (because it’s only an hour long broadcast). I think the clue said something about a finish line as well. That location is the Las Vegas Speedway. Shall I end the suspense? Depends Dave and Conner Pampers won, with the Blondes coming in second. Rachel is going to have to wait for Brendon to graduate with his PhD and I assume, get a job, before the world is infected with little Brenchels. Maybe, just maybe, if this asshat stopped doing these shows, he could finish with school and graduate. Just sayin… On the upside for Dave, his share of that prize money will buy a lot of Depends so he at least doesn’t have to worry about that for awhile.
Of course in the edit, by the time Brendon finally made his jump, it appeared as though Rachel was sitting there all alone because everyone had already left. That would have added, albeit cruel, levity to this episode because otherwise, I thought it sucked. This had to be the weakest finale show I’ve ever seen. It is of course fine if your viewpoint differs from mine here. We’re all friends here… Past seasons at least tested teams on where they had been during the race in order to claim the prize. Counting light bulbs. Really? I know I’ve said this was fixed before but come on… 2 non elimination rounds and something a trained chimp could do for the brain teaser task to help those vacuous women along. I don’t know what I really expected here but I thought this show was lame, at best, for a finale.. I really grew to hate Dave and Conner and I Never liked the blondes and their act.. Sound familiar? So was this cast. Let them NEVER darken our TV screens again.. Got that CBS?