The Real Housewives of New York City
The ladies are spending their last night in Saratoga by hitting the local night spots. Sonja, stuck without a ride back to the Hamptons, has forgotten all about her abandonment issues and is enjoying all that the town has to offer. She’s kissing men and LuAnn, dancing and playing the air guitar until she finally collapses in a heap on LuAnn’s lap – at which point Bravo blurred out whatever it was she had on display.Ramona, who stayed behind, is with Avery while she takes a driving lesson. Ramona wants to make sure that Avery knows how to navigate her way around at college and her only experience behind the wheel has been in the Hamptons while driving Mario’s BMW. She’s actually pretty good, even managing to parallel park on the first try. The second try didn’t go as well, and Avery managed to kiss the bumper of the car behind her.
LuAnn is hosting a charity event for women with cancer, sponsored by Hollywood Life. All the ladies are in attendance, eventually – Sonja showed up a little late. There’s going to be a fashion show and the dresses are to be auctioned off. Kristen is modeling as is LuAnn’s special mystery guest who is wearing a mask. Okay, we all knew that it was Kelly Bensimon, long before she took off the mask. Before the show begins, though, another special, and uninvited guest, show up. It’s Miss USA, Nana Meriweather, and her role in this charade is to give Aviva and her father another opportunity to talk about his sex life. George may not have been in the episode but his presence was certainly felt. Aviva is acting shocked when she sees Nana and while Bonnie Fuller, editor in chief of Hollywood Life, is speaking about women with cancer, Aviva decides to text Heather. As the text is passed around from one housewife to another, we find out that it has to do with George, his rent-a-fiance, Cody/Dana and Nana having a threesome.
The fashion show couldn’t start soon enough. Carole and Aviva get into a bidding war over the dress Kelly’s wearing with Carole raising her bid just to see if Aviva will keep going. She does and ends up with a bid of $550, much to Carole’s delight. While LuAnn is still upset about the text nonsense, Aviva goes into even more detail about her father’s night with the two women. Her father had told her all about it, how they all met, got together and that Nana left the next morning. I just have to stop here for a second and ask a question. Who talks to and about their parents this way, I mean aside from Aviva and George? It’s as if she’s actually proud that dear old dad is getting it on with all of these women. Or they’re both lying. Bravo storylines have been built on flimsier, albeit less crude, stuff than this. Ramona is going to get to the bottom of it and walks right over to Nana and asks her if the story is true. Nana tells a very different story about meeting them, then leaving a party during the eventing, never to see them again. This gets stranger by the minute because Aviva had just finished telling the group that her father had sworn on her keg that he was telling the truth. Either way, Ramona is right – George is a creepy lech.Kristen is at Sonja’s house to get a facial but Sonja is missing. Pickles, one of her interns hasn’t seen her but expects her any minute. Kristen heads outside where the facialist, Satako, is waiting and Sonja sneaks into the house wearing half a dress, some guy’s t-shirt, a baseball hat and sunglasses. She explains to Pickles that the gut couldn’t get her dress off so he tore it instead. As Sonja said in her talking head, her walk of shame is a victory lap. She must be doing a four-minute mile by now. She meets up with Kristen and Satako turns into Radar Online. She knows everything about the sex lives of Sonja and Ramona and is more than happy to share. She tells Sonja that she knows about the guy around the corner with the long hair, possibly Jamie, the restaurant owner. She also knows that LuAnn likes short French men so that she can dominate them in bed. This must be some kind of a reverse Napoleon complex. Satako also says that Sonja slept with Carole’s ex-boyfriend, Russ, when they happened to bump into each other in LA. I think they should be tipping this woman better or get her to sign a confidentiality agreement, because no secret is safe with her.
Carole meets up with LuAnn to discuss George’s claims of a threesome and LuAnn is convinced that Aviva invited Miss USA just to stir the pot. Kristen joins them and she tells them everything Satako said about LuAnn and short French guys, as well as Sonja bedding Russ. LuAnn just laughs and says that there’s nothing small about Jacques. Carole really doesn’t think that Sonja is Russ’s type.
Aviva is hosting the strangest art party at her apartment. She’s picking out art for her fake apartment with her interior designer and an art dealer names Kipton Cronkite. Try saying that name three times fast and tell me that you don’t start thinking about Superman. As the ladies arrive, they’re shown around the apartment to look at various pieces, including one by LuAnn’s daughter, Victoria. Kristen really doesn’t like any of them, preferring paintings of Elvis on velvet. Sonja arrives in a dress that may very well be the remnants of what was torn the other night and Ramona has brought her own bottle of Pinot Grigio. Aviva is sure that the party will be drama free.
LuAnn wants to talk to Aviva about the text message and the appearance by Miss USA at the charity event. Aviva insists she didn’t invite her – in fact, she swears she didn’t. Then she goes into full-out Aviva mode and tells LuAnn that if she’s calling her a liar, there’s going to be a problem. While Aviva continues to talk over her, LuAnn says that it’s gross – all of it – the text, the threesome stuff, everything, especially at an event to raise women for women with cancer. Aviva then says that Victoria’s artwork is about sex, even phallic, which, understandably, upsets LuAnn even more. It does make you wonder if Aviva only invited Victoria to show her artwork just so that she could use it in her argument. LuAnn still doesn’t believe that Aviva didn’t invite Nana, no matter how many body parts she swears on. Aviva tells LuAnn that she didn’t invite the woman and LuAnn is just rude. If anyone was wondering, my money’s on Nana as the truth teller, unless of course, she’s angling for a spot as the next housewife.
Kristen says that they shouldn’t have any more parties at Aviva’s. I think we can all agree on that.
Next week the ladies go to Montana to ride horses and rope bulls, without Aviva.
S1E2 “A Match Made In Tabloid Heaven”
By Hydrangea Hussy
This week begins on a rainy morning at Juliet’s house, as she readies her kids for the day. Her daughter Georgina, 5, got a certificate for holding the door for her class. So cute!!! I know some people love the drama, but I love family scenes like this. They show a softer side of the ladies. Juliet tells us that she finds American moms to be more hands-on than British moms.
Marissa & her husband own a small chain of restaurants, Bumpkin. Today we get a feel for how hands-on Marissa is with the restaurant. She’s able to apply her PR experience to her husband’s bars, restaurants & clubs. Juliet meets her for lunch in the garden. Juliet orders fish pie & Marissa orders fish & chips. They discuss the Brits at Polo in the Park. Marissa thinks that the Americans tend to have more fun than the Brits. The Brits, especially Annabelle, tend to be too-cool-for-school & don’t get very excited. Juliet is flamboyant & outspoken, which doesn’t always mesh with the Brits. She’s a little too much for me too. The talk turns to the upcoming annual Serpentine Gallery Party, which they describe as London’s prom. Marissa’s husband is working the bar, so she’ll be walking the red carpet alone. Juliet will be dressing some of the attendees, so it’s a work day for her.
Noelle & Scot are also meeting for lunch. Scot has been to court in another attempt to settle his divorce. Scot’s wife has again run out of funding, so she requested a continuance. This happened a year ago, delaying Noelle & Scot’s wedding. Apparently, Scot’s wife has already gone through 4 million in costs & needs an additional 2 million now. Not sure if that’s in dollars or pounds, but that’s a lot of courts costs/attorney fees! Noelle explains that Scot claims he has no money, but his soon-to-be-ex claims that he has lots. They’ve spent 4 years arguing over finances. Noelle has been looking for a flat, but Scot wants them to look for a place together. They had agreed to move in together when the divorce was final, but that’s only 3 months away now. Noelle explains that she loves Scot, which is why she deals with the frustrations. I understand that it’s a frustrating situation, but she seems to be very snippy with Scot about it. Her whining about her image in the press is getting old.
Caprice has a secret! She & Ty, her boyfriend, are at home listening to the baby’s heartbeat. It was so cute to see the two so excited! Caprice explains that she was told that she could not carry a child to term, so they began the surrogacy process. One month after the surrogate became pregnant, Caprice was surprised with a pregnancy of her own! She’s having 2 babies! I think it’s amazing that she is so open about her pregnancy struggle & choice to use a surrogate. The surrogate is in the US because the laws favor surrogacy more in the US than in the UK. Heads-up – check with an attorney b/c not all states allow for surrogacy contracts! Caprice’s mother is able to be involved in the surrogacy & they skype-in for the first 3D sonogram. Caprice is beside herself trying to get a glimpse of her baby’s face.
Next, we’re off to Caroline’s for breakfast with her family. Caroline & her husband have a 7 yr old daughter & 3 yr old twin sons. It looks like mornings in their house, despite the help of a housekeeper, are quite chaotic. The boys are playing & Yasmine is dousing her pancake in sugar. It was great to see the family attempting to sit down together & nice to know that, even though Caroline appears to have it all together, her life is a little crazy too. Once the driver takes the kids to school, Caroline & her husband have a moment alone. She tells him about the enthusiastic Americans & that she likes them. Caroline says that she may be more suited to America than the UK because it’s reserved there. Her husband is traveling for work, so she’s going to the Serpentine party alone. She tells us that he doesn’t put up with her bs & it’s clear that he likes to tease her a little. When she mentions that she doesn’t have enough time to get ready for the Serpentine party & meet for drinks before, he jokes that her diamond shoes are too tight. They seem to balance each other well.
Caprice & her mother are discussing the press reaction to her secret. Gotta love that technology allows them to stay close even though they’re on different continents. Caprice & Ty have decided to announce the surrogacy in the paper so that the press will have the true story. Caprice worried that she would be criticized or that lies would be told about her surrogacy. Her mother agrees that getting the whole, true story out there is best. I think Caprice made the right decision. We’ve seen how women reacted to Camille Grammar when they learned of her surrogacy. People can be cruel & question someone’s motives for using a surrogate.
Noelle & Scot are looking at a flat. The location is great for Noelle’s fashion PR dreams. It has an open entry from the street. Downstairs there is an open sitting room & kitchen. Noelle comments that the washer/dryer are prehistoric, even though they look only a few years old. Noelle doesn’t like the smell, but the realtor assures her that everything will be cleaned before move-in. Noelle says that people think she’s a gold-digger, but this flat doesn’t say gold-digger at all. The rent is $6,700/mth. She met Scot after his days of expensive cars & mansions, joking that she met him at the wrong time. Scot seems to like the place. It has an outdoor terrace. Noelle thinks she deserves better & wants to be in a house. $6,700/mth is way more than most can afford & she needs to show a little more appreciation for what she has. After, the talk turns to the Serpentine party. Noelle is frustrated because they can’t find tickets, so she calls Marissa for help. Marissa says that she’ll check around, but doesn’t seem very optimistic.
The story of Caprice’s babies has broken! Caroline is in her office, getting a pedicure & reviewing press. Gotta love a multi-tasker! Caroline is in the paper from a friend’s wedding & Caprice is on the cover. Caroline is shocked by the story, though she already knew. Caroline says that she doesn’t give stories unless they are related to business, she looks down on selling a story. We’ve seen that reaction in Beverly Hills, too. Juliet is on the phone with Marissa, letting her know about the story. Juliet is shocked that Caprice has started her children’s life on the page. Their conversation cracked me up. Marissa asks if this was a surprise to Caprice & Juliet points out that Caprice clearly hired the surrogate. Marissa is excited for Caprice, but isn’t sure why this news is worthy of the front page. Annabelle calls Caprice to ask about the story. Caprice says that she gave them the story. Annabelle may be in the press, but she doesn’t actively pursue the press. The general consensus appears to be against “selling” a story.
It’s the day of the Serpentine party. Noelle is getting her hair done, but still doesn’t have a ticket. She thinks that it would be good press for her, as opposed to focused on the divorce. Scot has been unable to get tickets & Noelle is very frustrated. IMO, she needs to chill out & quit criticizing him for not getting the tickets. Caroline’s make-up artist is getting her ready. Her dress is Cavalli couture, which was pulled from the archive for her to wear. I want her life!!! She assumes that Caprice is going, because “Caprice is a walking advertisement for herself.” She really doesn’t approve of the surrogacy story! Caprice is debuting her baby bump at the party. She feels like she needs to continue projecting a strong image for her company, even though she’s pregnant. Marissa, who usually doesn’t get her hair done, gets her hair & make-up done for this party.
The ladies meet up for a drink & appetizers before the party. Noelle & Scot are the first to arrive. Marissa has been unable to get tickets for them. Noelle feels like something is always holding her back. Caroline arrives. I LOVE her dress! In her TH, it’s obvious that Noelle aspires to have Caroline’s social standing. Caroline tells the group that Elton John made a surprise performance at her friend’s birthday the night before. Marissa notes that, clearly, Caroline is in a different league & she needs new friends, lol. Caroline offers her single extra ticket to Noelle & Scot. Scot says they should toss a coin for it. Of course, Noelle takes it. Juliet has been busy at work, but stops by for a drink. Caprice arrives & Caroline makes a snotty remark about her dress. I didn’t particularly like it, but didn’t think it was that awful either. Caprice feels bad that Scot isn’t going to the party & comments that she would never do that to Ty. Annabelle is the last to arrive, wearing McQueen. She doesn’t wear her Alexander gowns because she wants to protect the ones that he gave her. They begin discussing the surrogacy story & Annabelle agrees that, if it was just the surrogacy, the press would have been awful to Caprice. Caroline sits on the sidelines & shakes her head. In her TH she asks if Caprice has any dignity left.
Juliet loves working the social events in London. The red carpet is filled with celebrities & royals. Annabelle knows that she needs to be photographed in her dress, but she doesn’t particularly like the press. Caprice knows how to work the red carpet – the game is to get you photo chosen, so you can raise your profile, gain power & money. Marissa finds walking the red carpet alone to be a rush, because the focus is usually on her husband, but tonight it’s on her. Caroline’s career isn’t based on the press, unlike Caprice. Caroline feels uncomfortable in front of the press & would be mortified to stand there all day. Noelle likes being there without Scot because the focus isn’t on the divorce. The ladies don’t interact on the red carpet at all. And that’s all for this week, next will be fireworks at a 4th of July party.
Slideshow images courtesy Getty Images and BravoTV.com
Happy Birthday Jules
Happy Birthday VV